this part oh geez

I love God. I adore God. I cannot separate myself from Them no matter how hard I try. I was abused by family and theology and the church, and yet I still feel God whisper to me, whisper that it’s okay to find Them in the mystic, in the esoteric. 

I haven’t been able to crack a Bible in moths, but still They whisper to me. And oh how deeply I wish that I could separate God from the awful, abusive one I was raised to believe in, the one I was raised to fear, the one in whom so much of my pain is wrapped up in, the one who I always assumed was disappointed in me, the one who let me suffer because I probably wasn’t following God’s will/God properly anyway. (I thought I deserved my suffering.) 

“You don’t need psychic tea to engage with me.”

“I know. But it helps filter out the pain I’ve associated with You.” 

Deep sigh. “That’s a painful truth, and I understand. I still love you, you know.”

“And I still love you. Even though I’ve been so separate from you.”

“You’re not separate from Me if you still long to do good and bring life and love into the world. You worship me in ways you didn’t know was worship.”

Tagged for the first time

Okay Lux since you tagged everyone, I guess I’ll do this. YAY! First tag!
(1. Do you like waffles
I like waffles. Especially chocolate chip ones
(2. Have you seen Hamilton yet?
No I have not, and I feel left out because of it.
(3. What kinda of music do you like?
EDM (aka Electronic Dance Music) and songs from soundtracks.
(4. What fandoms are you a part of?
Oh geez a lot. My main ones are the Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Fairy Tail, Durarara, Ouran High School Host Club (one of my favorites), and The Devil Is A Part Timer to name a few.
(5. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Either a graphic artist, a fashion designer, or somewhere else in the field of arts
(6. Favorite Color?
PURPLE!!! And cyan, forest green, a sunset orange, and lavender
(7. Favorite Meme?
“However, I DISAGREE!” (Bouns points if you can guess where that’s from)
(8. Any pets?
Yes! I have a Basset Hound named Abby, a brown cat named Mocha, a black cat named Onyx (and he’s adorable), a Red Devil ciclid named Cleo, one of those sucker fish and his name is Pepper, and a spotted turtle named Freckles.
(9. Meow of Woof
MEOW!!!! I LOVE CATS SO MUCH!!!
(10. Do you like to work hard or nah?
A mix of the two

I tag Moo and Tefa to answer these questions:
1. What do you describe your clothing style?
2. Who is your favorite character from one of your favorite shows?
3. What genre of tv do you often find yourself watching?
4. Favorite movie?
5. Your favorite theme/song from a movie, video game, tv show, etc.?
6. Favorite song from 2014-2016?
7. I know you guys have a husbando, who is it?
8. Favorite book?
9. Your opinion on chocolate? (I had to ask this. Hey, I’m a chocoholic for Zekrom’s sake!)
10. What would you do if you found $20 on the ground?

And a bonus for you, Haley and Tefa, I have a drawing dare for you guys. Since y'all like Pokemon, I dare you to draw a character from the franchise. BUT! If you accept, you are limited to a character who’s name starts with the first letter of your name (username or nickname) (Haley’s is either R or H, yours’ll be L or C if you like, and Tefa’s will be T, F, or A). You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but if you want a challenge, do it! Completely your choice! Have a nice remaining weekend! -TabiKatt (autocorrect almost put my actual name there and man did it freak me out a bit!)

OK EVERYONE! In regards to my PSA about me not being part of the Grumps: 

This is not (NOR WERE MY PREVIOUS STATEMENTS) passive aggressive! I love that my husband and his friends are part of such an awesome channel, I have NO DESIRE TO BE A PART OF THE CHANNEL EXCEPT A GUEST. I have my own channel, I love my tweethearts, and sometimes I feel like I just need to VERY SPECIFICALLY REMIND EVERYONE I am not part of their channel because gosh oh geeze does it get daunting when I feel like I don’t matter unless I”m associated with a certain group of people. 

It’s not fun times! 

So anyway, have yourself a lovely day and I am going to go hug my animals.

Also this is absolutely the last time I’m going to talk about this because people take anything I say in such the wrong way and it makes me super sad.