this part of the commentary made me laugh so much lol

Yuri on Ice 2017/02/11 all night event report

I’m back from the event and I’ll write a report before going to sleep, mostly because I’m sure I will not be able to decipher my scribbles when I wake up… It’s not the full talk show since you can’t record it and also I couldn’t possibly write down everything, but I tried to take note of most things, especially stuff that has never been mentioned elsewhere. In the end it became quite long so I guess I was able to get most of the stuff down…

Needless to say it’s my notes, so other people might write about parts I omitted, etc. To be honest quite a few of the things they said especially in the beginning, like what the seiyuu think about their characters, is something I’ve read so many times in interviews that I could almost answer in their place, lol… I was a bit disappointed that one of the questions that was answered is the one about Chris’ mysterious acquaintance, because actually Kubo answered that in Pash already (it’s in the Q&A part I’ll be translating later), and I hoped they would feature questions about stuff that hasn’t been explained yet. Well I guess not everybody reads interviews, but still…

Due to the format of the report you can find my comments here and there, mostly in brackets.
Under the cut because it’s long.

I forgot to mention something important: the ones participating in the talk show were Mitsurou Kubo, Toshiyuki Toyonaga (Yuuri), Junichi Suwabe (Victor), Kouki Uchiyama (Yurio).

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anonymous asked:

did you like the new video? were there any special parts?

oh my god yes, i’m shocked we got the follow-up so soon but i loved it just as much as yesterday’s??? a lot of the same thoughts apply here–dan being so proud, phil being so happy about dan’s praise, both of them bonding over the music from classic games, dan’s interest in phil’s childhood and wanting to know all of these details about how phil made it and how his friends reacted, etc. some standout moments for me: 

  • i mean obviously the angel threesome. what even. i feel like the point i’ve worn out to death on here about phil is that he’s been pushing back on the innocence trope for some months now, and has been increasingly comfortable w sexual comments/innuendo/teasing (and not innuendos that are made in a way where he seems to not be aware of what he’s saying.) and yet i was still hashtag shook to see him discussing threesomes so casually and giggling about it, and honestly weirdly startled to be reminded that phil was just like any other sex-crazed 14 year old boy lmao. i loved that whole bit so much. i love that they kept it in despite the break with phil’s mostly g-rated commentary. i laughed so hard at the way they were trying their best to make it seem innocent with those “tea party” comments,, but there was just no salvaging it. i was obsessed with the way dan was rendered nearly speechless, and how phil just stayed completely calm and was being super cheeky and kind of teasing dan for his reactions. also .. interesting that it was a MMF threesome rather than phil just wanting the main protagonist to have a threesome w two of the angels .. hmmm. then phil saying that alex would be worn out after the second round like …… .. i think i actually blushed wtf
  • the part when they were walking through the space maze and you could see little bits of the sky and phil pointed at one of the stars and said “we’re there, i can see our house” and dan went “awww” and i started to cry lmao. the way phil’s mind works is so beautiful i dont’ even get it ,, like he was just looking at the space background and thought to make this cute af remark that kind of acknowledges the sheer enormity of space but that he and dan exist in that space together, in one home wtf?? ? ? and he said it just to make dan smile??? ? ? and it was so casually done as like a throwaway comment that probs anyone would’ve missed amidst this 40-min behemoth of a video but they kept it in anyway and it was so sweet :( i was rly fucking emotional about it  :( also “our house” in general in any context,,, pls 
  • “this is tumblr we’re talking about, they need that gay shit.” uhhhhh. interesting comment from dan. it hit me in a strange way bc like,, i’ve heard this exact thing said about tumblr way too much by The Straights™ as a way of criticizing this platform and also a way of criticizing the driving force of a lot of fandom (which is obvi a need for more queer representation across all media basically.) but it’s interesting bc it’s also kind of a joke-y thing that people on tumblr and inside of those fandom spaces say a lot (like, ‘gimme more of that gay shit’ lol) and they (we) sort of own up to in a self-aware and humorous way. it’s interesting to me that dan decided to make that comment bc from the most objective evaluation it honestly comes across as derisive/rude/offensive, but he’s sort of implicitly asking us to view him as a Tumblr Resident himself (or even a queer person himself lol) and interpret the comment in a humorous way, rather than a critical one and that seems important to me. like a (hetero) outsider can’t rly make that comment without being completely offensive and horrible but dan felt like he could make it, and in so doing, he sort of puts himself on the same level as us in a way? idk. i need to think about this more 

just generally these two videos have given me so much to think about regarding phil and also dnp’s partnership. both videos felt like such a soft and lovely reminder of exactly why i love them so much. the level to which they are able to celebrate each other and demonstrate how much they have in common, how much their senses of humor align, how much they value each others’ opinions and minds, it’s all just so incredible to watch. and phil… like. this was such an important reminder to me of just how deep his creative talent probably runs. if he was making this at 14 (with all the time and effort and dedication and complex thought that that required), i can’t begin to fathom what he could make now, at 30, with 16 more years of knowledge and experience and exposure to all kinds of films and games and books. i feel like phil could make almost anything he wanted. he probably has innate writing talent and ability, and he clearly has the capacity to imagine and construct original characters and worlds. it brings me back to a central question i’ve always had about phil which is why he doesn’t exercise this creative energy more and why he is happy making things for AP that are, to be frank, somewhat formulaic and frequently just vlogs about his own life. i could ramble on that subject for a while as there are a few ideas in my mind for why he put himself into the AP box (security probably foremost on that list) but i’ll save that for another time. i’m just so happy they chose to make these videos though. it was so incredibly original and refreshing and beautiful to see them have so much fun and share in their love for each other. some of the best dapg content ever, for sure.

(mark of oxin 2

Okja was a really fascinating film to watch, especially from a linguistic/cultural perspective… especially as a Korean-American, seeing a distinctly Korean-American character on screen (more on that, btw). But also, there were so many little things here and there that I found super interesting? Incoming list that was typed up as I was watching, which also means spoilers ahead (sorry to my mobile friends).

Also side note, the choice for musical style was really interesting. If anything, it just furthered the absurdity of this film, ahaha.

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Rumors *smut*

Author: obrosey-af

Characters: Dylan x OC

Word count: 2,473

Warnings: smuttity smut

A/N I wrote this to be during the 2015 San Diego Comic Con. That was actually my favorite panel they’ve ever done, everyone just seemed to have so much fun haha this is Dylan with an OC, but it’s not a part of California Love ‘ight? k cool, enjoy(: -Er

Originally posted by dylanchriscobrien


“I’m gonna be sick,” I whined over dramatically, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I’ll hold your hair back if you hold mine for me after,” Tyler winked, slinging his arm around my shoulders.

It’s my second Teen Wolf panel at Comic Con in San Diego since being apart of the show and you’d think I’d be used to it by now. LOL, wrong! I’m actually really nervous about it. I’ve never loved the attention and I get shy or embarrassed very easily. After hearing some of the questions the audience asked my cast members or the commentary Kevin Smith provided last year, I was terrified to say the least about the questions I’d get. I was so new to the show last year; only three or four episodes had aired before Comic Con and I was fairly new in the acting world, so there weren’t really any juicy questions to ask me. I was totally cool with that, by the way. As a cast, we’ve done so many interviews and answered so many questions on the red carpet at priemeres for different things, but they were all Teen Wolf related. I was not excited to hear what frantic, screaming teenage girls had to ask.

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Yuri on Ice BD choreography commentary translation - Volume 2

Awfully behind schedule due to my throat dying because of all the air conditioning at work and other stuff stealing my time, but here it is finally, the last part of the BD/DVD vol.2. Once again it’s a translation of the complete script. The commentary is by Kenji Miyamoto & Mitsurou Kubo. This time it’s Yuri’s SP and Yuuri’s FS.

Notes:
-It’s two people talking, not a written interview, so expect them to hop from one subject to another within the same sentence… Even if it sounds a bit unconnected at times, that’s how they said it.
-I still arranged it a little to make it easier to understand as written material, by removing lots of “ehm” “uuhm” “you know” “yes” (I especially removed all instances where someone says “yes” in the middle of the other speaking) and fumbled words.
-Amusingly enough both their initials are KM/MK, but I used the surname initials so M is Miyamoto and K is Kubo.
-I put (LOL) when they’re laughing because otherwise some lines might sound serious while they’re actually joking.

***VERY IMPORTANT***
Do NOT use this translation for subtitles, in ANY way.

I don’t support the upload of bonuses contained in BDs/DVDs, as they are meant to be (as the word says) bonuses for the people who spent money to purchase them. If you like a series so much that you absolutely need to watch the bonus contents, please buy the BDs/DVDs.


Kubo: Hello, I’m the original planner Mitsurou Kubo.
Miyamoto: Hello, I’m the choreographer Kenji Miyamoto.
K: Ah, Kenji-sensei. It’s been a while.
M: It’s been a while.
K: Ok, today we are going to look back on the choreography of Yuri Plisetsky’s short program, “Ai ni Tsuite ~Agape~”. This time, for the first time, Kenji-sensei is not the one performing the choreography. But you created it, didn’t you?
M: Yes, I did.
K: This time, Yuri Plisetsky still has the body of a 15 years old boy, so you know, we thought that if possible we would like to ask someone else to perform it. The reason is that this footage is an important reference when translating the choreographies into animation, and changing Kenji-sensei’s body into that of a young boy would have required quite a lot of work.
M: Ah, so it was for that reason.
K: Yeah.
M: I see.
K: So basically we said that a girl, a girl of small build, would be nice, and we asked Kenji-sensei to look for a person like that.
M: Yes. Honoka Kawanishi-chan.
K: Yes. She’s a 20 years old university student, and she even participated in the university’s Miss Campus contest…
M: Really?
K: Well, isn’t she really pretty?
M: Yeah, she’s a beautiful girl.
K: I was like, nice job Kenji-sensei for bringing such a girl!
M: When she was still a competitive figure skater she impressed me because she could dance really well.
K: You didn’t do choreographies for her at that time?
M: No, I didn’t. This was the first time, but really, she learned the choreography very quickly.
K: That’s right.
M: Yeah.
K: He was creating the choreographies at night, we had very little time, and I guess, there are skaters who learn faster and skaters who are slower, right?
M: Yes, and also, I think she was moving very close to the way I was imagining the choreography, so we could go on very smoothly.
K: We also had that impression watching, like, she was absorbing everything so quickly and she danced very boldly, she was really amazing.
M: And this hairstyle, too.
K: Yes, we wanted to draw Yuri with flowing bobbed hair, so we asked her not to tie her hair, to let it loose when she was skating, and you know, skating with loose hair is something that you don’t see in tournaments, so it was really nice to watch~.
M: It’s nice, it looks very dynamic.
K: Thank you. Hah~. So this was Yuri Plisetsky’s short program, “Ai ni Tsuite ~Agape~”.

K: “Really nice to watch~”, I made a face like an old man (LOL). Ok, next up is Yuuri Katsuki’s free skating. The song is “Yuri on ICE”. Uh.. (LOL)
M: Everyone’s laughing at me (LOL).
K: This part, of course the ones who watched the anime know it already, but we asked Kenji-sensei to start from the point where Victor hugs Yuuri from behind..
M: Yes (LOL).
K: Sorry, it’s just somehow amusing (LOL).
M: When I turned around everyone was laughing.
K: (LOL). But actually, it became a really nice scene. Ok. Regarding this “Yuri on ICE”, when we were creating the story later on I decided the title and made it “Yuri on ICE”, but in fact, when we filmed this footage the title hadn’t been decided yet, we just had the song ready, and the story wasn’t finished either, so we just asked Kenji-sensei to do the choreography in the meantime. This time I couldn’t physically be there, but what instructions did the director give you?
M: I’d say, “director, what do you think about this?”, and she’d be like “yeah, that’s good”.
K: (LOL)
M: I said “And this, what about this?”, and she was like “yes, I think that’s nice”. No matter what I said she always replied “yes”.
K: In other words, you were also kind of anxious too.
M: Yes, I didn’t really understand the story completely, so..
K: Yeah.
M: But I was asked to create a program that could win in a tournament, a well done program, and when I listened to this song, this delicate music, I wanted to create a choreography that would look like an ink painting, like thin streaks that vanish as they stream.
K: Hearing this, you know, I’m not sure whether it’s actually connected, but the opening is really that way, like an ink painting, with colors that spread out as the song plays, and I thought that it looks like it’s connected.
M: I was very surprised when I watched it.
K: Ah!
M: I was like, “ah, so they made it like this”…
K: But seriously, this choreography is really… In the beginning, Yuuri Katsuki has just started figure skating and has many worries, then in the scene where he meets Victor the sounds become richer, and we asked to make the choreography so that it would leave a stronger impression too, but the way you glide in that smo~oth line is really nice. Even in the animation version it’s breathtakingly beautiful. And…
M: Today’s socks are lime green (LOL).
K: (LOL). Yeah, we have explained this in vol.1 too, but basically it’s not like Kenji-sensei fancies this kind of fashion, he wore different gloves and socks to make the left and right legs different. Normally he’s a fashionable person.
M: You don’t have to say that (LOL). But this, you know, I really used up a lot of stamina to skate it.
K: Ooh.
M: That axel after a forward counter is quite difficult.
K: (LOL). Indeed, we asked to create a FS that could win the Grand Prix Final, so the movements leading to jumps, and all the other elements, are all made so that you can get a high level. Kenji-sensei did a lot of things (LOL).
M: Yeah (LOL).
K: Sorry for saying it a bit vaguely.
M: That’s ok. This part too, it has an outside rocker cluster with combined movements of the upper body, though my foot touched the ground a little (LOL). It’s made to get level 4, I mean, I’m not sure one could get it, but it’s made so that it’s possible to get it.
K: I heard that some real figure skaters said they wanted to skate this.
M: Yes, that’s true. I was asked to make a choreography for this song, but I replied that it would be better to wait some more time. It’s quite popular actually.
K: I really want someone to skate it! Seriously, the song is a bit too short for a competitive program, but someone could like, make it a bit longer, edit it, and skate it.
M: (LOL).
K: Ah, yes, in the end, he looks in Victor’s direction, points his fingers at him, and the song is complete.
M: My hair is so flat (LOL).
K: Yeah, kind of…
M: It was night in the end.
K: Yeah, it was night. All the clocks visible in the footage are showing past 12:00, but that’s not 1:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon, you know.
M: It was pitch black (LOL).
K: Yeah, it was. But really, now that I hear from Kenji-sensei that there are real skaters who are watching “Yuri on Ice” and want to skate this song… So is it popular?
M: Yeah, this song is popular, and, it’s a different story, but at the rink I went to the other day there was a boy who started skating after watching “Yuri on Ice”.
K: Great!!!!
M: When I told him that I was the one who made the choreographies, he was like “uwaaah”.
K: I’m so happy.
M: It’s nice to see things like this happen.
K: Yeah, I mean, of course grown-up women like this anime too, but I hope that young male skaters who are thinking of starting now or who are already skating, people from all over the world, can feel figure skating as something closer to themselves and continue it.
M: Yes.
K: You also said that you’d like people to feel figure skating as something closer, right?
M: Yeah, I think so.
K: You know, I’m really happy to hear that in some way, even just a little, this is becoming true.
M: I agree.
K: Ah, sorry, I’m wrapping it up a bit in a hurry. So, we have watched the choreographies of vol.2. Let’s meet again in vol.3! Please say something too (LOL).
M: (LOL).


firethesound  asked:

Linny 11 for the fox prompt meme?

Ginny tossed back the last dregs of her drink and leaned heavily on Luna’s shoulder. They were still giggling about Ginny’s latest encounter in the Quidditch locker rooms, trying to get a post-game quote for her commentary column in the Daily Prophet.

“I swear, though!” she insisted, waving her empty glass around for emphasis. “The amount of times I’ve walked in on them—they aren’t even on the same team! If I have to see that bastard’s lily white arse again because he’s too busy coming onto Harry in the showers, I swear, I’ll—“

Her oath was cut off when she nearly lost her balance on her stool, clutching the bar and Luna to keep from toppling over.

Luna collapsed against her in another bout of hysterical laughter. Ginny’s stomach did a neat little somersault as she listened to the melodic notes of Luna’s pretty laugh. It made a warm tingle settle in her belly. She grinned and swayed closer to Luna, getting a whiff of her strawberry and mint scented shampoo.

“You have nice hair,” Ginny commented. She snorted as she absently played with Luna’s hair. “At least they’re fit to look at,” Ginny admitted. “If you’re into knobs and tight arses.”

“Ginny!” Luna cried, clutched at her arm. Ginny could smell the tart wine on her breath.

She shrugged unapologetically. “What? I did used to prefer dicks. They aren’t all bad. To look at, anyway. I, ah, happen to prefer fanny and tits to play with now.”

Ginny froze after the words left her mouth. Oh shit, she thought. She wasn’t quite ready to put a label to her newfound adventures in the bedroom, let alone tell her best friend about it. Especially when she was half in love with her and aching for a chance to taste her soft lips and run her fingers over her smooth skin.

Luna didn’t seem phased by her brash admission in the slightest. The only indication she gave of hearing her was a raised eyebrow. Luna leaned closer to her and brushed the loose hair out of her face. Her eyes were dancing with interest and mirth.

“What are you doing?” Ginny asked, her heart skipping a beat in excitement. Her limbs felt tingly and wobbly with how much she’d had to drink. She was definitely sloshed at this point.

“Looking at you,” Luna answered in a soft lilt. “Seeing if you look any different.”

“Why would I look different?”

“Because now you’re being honest with yourself,” Luna explained.

“Oh?” Ginny breathed. Luna was leaning closer and her stomach swooped. She licked her lips and mirrored Luna, swaying in too quickly and ending up bumping foreheads with her. “Ow.”

Ginny frowned, holding her forehead. Luna hummed and rubbed at her own tender head.

“Sorry,” Ginny said sheepishly.

She felt like she was a teenager again, not a woman waving at her mid-thirties as they approached at a jaunty pace. Luna made her want to take risks and fly on her broom like she did ten years ago. She made Ginny want to kiss her; to taste her lip balm and run her fingers through her hair and press her into the bar until she was gasping.

Ginny brought her fingers to her lips and pressed against them, trying to hold in the things she wanted to say.

Luna was watching her with an amused expression.

“Can I kiss you?” Ginny blurted between her fingertips.

“Can you?” Luna countered challengingly.

“I can,” Ginny decided boldly. “I want to,” she admitted after a heartbeat. “Will you let me? I’ve wanted to for a long time—since we were kids, really. Luna. Luna, listen, I…I really, really want to kiss you right now.”

Luna smiled at her and took a moment to sip her wine.

“Well? Go on,” Luna said after a minute. She set her glass aside and held her hands out for Ginny to take.

Ginny threaded their fingers together and rocked forward on her stool, nearly losing her balance again in the process. Luna helped her keep her balance and tugged her closer. Ginny’s heart felt like it was pounding in her ears as she inched nearer, so close she could practically taste Luna’s wine on her breath. Oh, Merlin, this was it. She was going to kiss her best friend after years and years of wanting this very thing.

With one last burst of bravery, Ginny closed the distance between them and pressed their lips together. It was gentle at first, tentative and patient. But then she felt Luna’s lips shift against hers and felt the edge of her tongue coaxing her lips apart, and then they were properly snogging right there against the counter of the bar, with Ginny nearly tipping off the perch of her stool. Ginny made a faint sound in her throat and pressed closer, stumbling off of her seat so she could stand closer to Luna, between her knees and press up on her tiptoes to reach so she could kiss her deeper. Luna pulled one of her hands free to gently brush Ginny’s hair away from her face again as she sucked on her lower lip. Ginny made another small sound and squeezed Luna’s hand.

Her whole world swam from the kiss and too much to drink when they parted. She was vaguely aware of Luna helping her sit back down and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I’ll get the next round?” Luna offered.

Ginny nodded mutely and reached for Luna’s hand again, twining their fingers together and trying to hide her heated cheeks from her friend.

—–
My babes!!! Thank you for prompting them, FTS! Very fitting because I drank a huge glass of wine tonight LOL!

Send me a pairing + a prompt from the list!

‘Avengers : Age of Ultron’ Audio Commentary By Joss Whedon

It is for the record and all about RDJ/Tony Stark thing or related.

That little “Yay,” by the way, for which both Robert and I have been given credit, was actually Jeremy Latcham, again, saying, “He needs to make a noise there,” um, in post-production. And I was like, “Oh, no, he doesn’t. We could do it, but no one’s gonna hear it.” So, he gets all the credit for that.

In a way that one-and-a-half people would recognise. I think I said, “Five people in the audience will cheer at this.” And Kevin Feige said, “Yes, but I will be one of them.” It was a big decision whether to go off on her smile or this grab. Ultimately, the grab very specifically said, “We have a problem, and the problem is Tony.” And, um, one of the things that also sort of hit me late in the game is that you can really look at this film and just straight-up say, “Tony Stark is the villain.” It’s not just the beard. He’s a good man who is corrupted by his own anxiety, by this vision of a disaster, and makes what is obviously a really bad decision. And I spent so much time in the writing process and during filming trying to protect Tony Stark. Trying to make sure that he was still a heroic figure. And at one point I watched the movie, and I went, “You can just go ahead and lean into this, that he’s now evolved into a villain.” Obviously, he’s not just that. He’s redeemed, and he is a hero in so many ways. But it was very freeing to be able… And I think it’s not something you get to do a lot in something like this, narratively. To just go ahead and say, “Your guy just might not be okay.” And again, that’s something that, thematically, the entire movie is about. It’s been commented on, and it’s not by accident that the word “monster” is used by most of the team about either themselves or each other.

so clearly we’re already leaning into the Jesus thing. And that’s, um, again, not by accident. We’re not saying anything specific about religion, but we are playing on Christian iconography a great deal, partially because both Tony Stark and Ultron have god complexes, and partially because the Vision himself does represent an ideal.

This little bit’s a bit of embellishment that Robert and I came up with on the day. It’s always nice to be able to have people who know their character so well that they can give you what you’ve asked for, but then make it feel lived in.

I really wasn’t sure where to put people and how to get them where they needed to go emotionally. Especially because Robert has a really difficult job in this scene of cracking up in the middle of the worst thing he’s ever done. And to me, it was really important, and Robert, too. The moment I pitched it to him, he latched on to it. He’s like, “l do that whenever I’m busted. I can’t help it. It’s so bad. I get nervous, I giggle.” But I also think there’s something… I feel like Tony’s… There’s a little bit of the Asperger’s, being on the spectrum with him, where he’s just, um… He’s not quite… He’s just not good at people.

And ultimately, my whole “Tony is the villain” thesis nicely plays into it as well. And again, “villain” doesn’t necessarily mean ”mwah-ha evil,“ because here you see his pain and the sort of epic nature of his heroism. Which is contrasted, as usual, with the very simple nature of Steve’s. And Tony is a guy who likes to do the math. And Steve is a guy who understands the situation he’s in, and is looking out for the people around him.

The Avengers have so much power at the beginning of this, and one of the things that I knew, and I had this problem in the first one, is nobody roots for the overdog. And so it was very important to me that they be brought down a peg, but not just by circumstance, but because they have… In Tony’s case, dramatically, but in every case to an extent, lost some aspect of the mission. Lost some aspect of their humanity, because that’s the thing about being a superhero, it’s the thing about having power. When your decisions affect more than the people around you, inevitably, you are going to destroy something. You’re going to harm someone in a way that removes you from humanity. The more power you have, inevitably, the less a part of the human community you are. And so Ultron himself says that, although he doesn’t always realise how much it applies to him.

We’re coming to something that never fails to get a laugh, which for a long time was a real problem for me because I didn’t mean it as a joke. I thought it would be cool and obviously comic book-y, but I didn’t think of it as a laugh moment.

He originally had a line, "Where are you taking us?” “A place I hoped I’d never take you.” But, on the day, all l could think was, Tony would be like, “Uh, I’m definitely driving. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds ominous.” And it either sounded ominous or heroical.

I’m embarrassed to say that “Hello, Deere” was Robert’s. That’s one of those moments where I just kick myself, I‘m like, “How did I miss that?”

The idea of playing Tony’s confessional. Because there was a long period where it was like, “Well, does he tell everyone he had a vision?” And we had lines in it for quite a while that indicated he had said something, or said something off-screen, but you don’t bring Nick Fury in without a reason. And although it was important to say that they were flying on their own, we knew we wanted to see Nick, and to have him be the first person that Tony can actually talk to, and for that to become, in a way, the sea change for Tony, even though he’s about to do something even more absurd than what he’s already done, is important for the whole group.

The idea, though, that Tony is searching his world, the world of science, and Thor is searching the world of magic.

and then it brings us back to the idea that Tony is the villain. One of the true villainous moments he has is telling Hawkeye, “Why don’t you disappear?” and I’m gonna make an evil eyebrow face, because I’m about to do something crazy. And the idea that he’s gonna lean into the very thing that is wrong with him is interesting to me, because the idea that the worst thing about us is useful gives this thing texture.

The voice in Tony’s head was originally a different actress, but, again, the “girl Friday” thing was something that I liked very much, but… And Friday was one of his HUD personalities from the comics, but when she came on as American, the only way to establish who she was as a sort of different person was to have banter between them, which literally meant establishing an entirely new character after the Vision. So to give her the accent, it sort of made a little piece of shorthand.

We did this in re-shoots, and I had said we really need somebody that expresses the gravitas of what they’ve been through, and Kevin said, “Or they could make that joke about the hammer that you almost put in.” I’m like, “Okay, yeah, let’s do that instead.”

l felt that we could very clearly explain the problem that Ultron was having and create a scene that really made you feel for Jarvis. Kevin and Jeremy, who really fought for Jarvis’ presence to be increased throughout the movie. I had always intended to make him the Vision. They kept insisting, “We want more. We want a visual. We want everyone to mourn him. We want him to be treated like a guy.” And I didn’t really understand the need for that the way they did. And then putting it together, it was clear, “Oh, yeah, wait a minute, this guy, he was there at the beginning. "He was there in the first few minutes of the first Iron Man.” And people have a bond with him that is palpable and very human.

anonymous asked:

I need your usual long ramble for the joint younow please! You always combine all the best moments into one place and I am always grateful <3

Aww thank you! I apologize for it being a bit late as always.

But to start, I’ll just quote my quick summary from the other day:

“Very happy old married couple bickering and completing each other’s sentences. You know how they say couples who have been together for a long time start morphing into one another and become really in sync with their behaviors and speech? That’s them. That’s Dan and Phil. This live show somehow just made that even more obvious than it already was. Incredible.”

Incredible, indeed. They are the epitome of old married couple going on their 60th year together. Grandparents got nothing on them. I apologize, I know the ‘married’ thing is a tired explanation by now but I truly don’t know how to describe it anyway else. They are more married than anyone I’ve ever known and they are not even married. That deserves a special award I think. And we only see not even 1/10th of their everyday lives. God only knows the level the domesticity reaches when no one is watching. I fear I may not be able to physically and mentally process that extreme so it is probably for the best that we are not exposed to it.

And as I mentioned before about the synchronized thing, I felt like there were several moments when quoting the Spice Girls and singing the line “when twooooo become oneeee” loudly would have felt alarmingly appropriate. Because they have definitely melded into a singular conjoined unit. They are one entity now. It’s slightly scary. But more so beautiful. Scarily beautiful if you will.

Favorite moments below:

Keep reading

Fanfiction Writers Appreciation Day

Originally posted by find-a-reaction-gif

I debated exactly how to celebrate this day, with personal messages or public posts or what have you, and I settled on a big rec post in which I will gush over a few fic writers that I love. Some are mutuals or friends, and some I only admire from a distance, but I’m flinging my love and appreciation for you all out into the open today. <3

Okay, here we go…

@khaleesa (mrstater on AO3) is such a wonderful fic writer across so many fandoms. I first saw her fics when we were both busily writing BruceNat, but she’s been aboard the Star Wars train recently, and writing some excellent fics for that fandom. She has too many wonderful fics for me to pick from and it caused me PAIN to choose a couple to rec specifically, because I LIKE EVERY LAST ONE, UGH. So this is a universal rec from me, for all her work. But I’ll particularly mention Sun’s Getting Low for the MCU fandom and Take The Sky From Me for Star Wars. The character work? The creation of real and touchable settings, even on other planets?? THE FLUFF AND PAIN?? And now I have to stop because I’m screaming internally and I want to include a lot more. SO GOOD. 


@thelonelybrilliance (TolkienGirl on AO3) writes amazing, AMAZING oneshots. For a vast number of fandoms. I still can’t quite believe how many fics she has to her name. I was first drawn in by some of her Tolkien-inspired work, and then she proceeded to kill me dead with the exquisite beauty of her Daredevil ficlets. Her interpretation of Matt is painful, beautiful perfection. Another universal rec. I can’t even hope to pluck out the best of her ficlets to rec because they’re all. so. good. For an example of her gorgeous Daredevil writing, I’ll point you to vie en rose. *sobs quietly* You should also check out her ff.net profile, where there’s a whole treasure trove of fics. HUNDREDS of them. Like becoming who we are and therefore is winged cupid painted blind and so many others that made my heart clench.


@blueincandescence (blueincandescence on AO3) is a stunning writer who took my breath away with BruceNat fics back in those golden BruceNat days, lol. I betaed a few and my comments were mostly gushy variations of YES GOOD. Yet another universal rec. She’s writing Illya/Gaby fic for The Man From U.N.C.L.E. these days, and I highly doubt that that fandom knows yet how lucky it is to have her. I’m not part of that fandom (my loss) but I can rec those fics with blind confidence anyway. As for the MCU fics, I rec Lost & Found and Experimental Design at the top of my lungs. But actually I rec all her MCU fics forever.


@devereauxsdisease (Devereauxs_Disease on AO3) writes the most amazing crack fics I’ve ever seen. FOR THE HANNIBAL FANDOM. I used to think that things like fluff and crack weren’t really possible for a show as dark as Hannibal, but then I got to Tumblr and let me tell you, I saw the light. The fandom is a joy, and devereauxsdisease is one of my absolute favorite contributors. I have laughed until I CRIED at fics like the Say Cheese series and Where There’s a Will. But devereauxsdisease is also just an amazing writer whether or not crack is involved?? Fics like Space Invader have killed me dead with feels and laughter and angst (but with a happy ending, thank goodness). Just…how??? It’s a question I can’t answer, but I can rec all these fics. I can rec them SO HARD.


@pinkbagels (pinkbagels on AO3) is one of my newest faves in the Hannibal fandom. I remember seeing Been A Son updating frequently on AO3 and resisting reading it, because it was a/b/o and I wasn’t really feeling the genre. But I ended up trying it and was instantly blown away, along with my genre hangups. IT’S SO GOOD. I can’t say enough good things about this fic. It constructs a complete alternate world from the ground up along with alternate versions of our beloved characters that are so perfect in this alternate reality. It made me see characters from new angles, had actual relevant social commentary, and had a plot that had me alternately cheering and gaping in horror. Very Hannibal, in other words. ;) This fic is a glorious accomplishment and I can’t shut up about it. The other also unbearably amazing fic in this universe is They Can Smell Your Intentions which also had me dying of happiness and stress in equal measure, all depending on the chapter. Such glorious use of space imagery in this fic. I just can’t. And now she’s in the midst of You Are Now Entering Gate #12, a fic which has me laughing so hard one second…and nearly in tears the next. (That scene of Hannibal alone in the car, looking at the pictures, was all kinds of NOT OKAY. MY EMOTIONS.) I desperately need to read pinkbagel’s entire body of fic work, but for now, I yell FIC REC over all of these masterpieces.


@damnslippyplanet (damnslippyplanet on AO3) is one of the best known fic writers in the Hannibal fandom, so there’s no point in even reccing her work, because everyone already knows it. So this is really just an I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH post, because her work is some of the most moving, exquisitely written fic I’ver ever seen. For any fandom, really, but it’s especially striking because it’s part of the Hannibal fandom, a place where fic can get very violent and dark very quickly. I was just reading the last bit of A Gentler Ending yesterday, and very nearly cried in my car because it was just. so. beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like the way Slippy handles Hannibal and Will. It’s in character, but we don’t hit a hard stop at the violence and the despair as is so often the case in the show. Things get worked out in Slippy’s fics. And the imagery is just? so?? good??? In summary, this is an unnecessary fic rec, yes, but mostly I’m just saying IT’S SO GOOD, HOW IS ALL HER FIC SO GOOD. Everyone should read Songs of Experience and Somewhere Between and What We Talk About When We Talk About Blood AND ACTUALLY, JUST READ ALL OF THEM.


@bonearenaofmyskull (feverdreambloodopera on AO3) wrote the single most exquisite Hannibal fic I can think of in Crossing Caïna. And I want more, darn it. So not only is this my yelled-from-the-rooftops FIC REC over this subtle, glorious, slow-burn of a fic that features so much striking and beautiful boat and water imagery and kind of takes my breath away…it’s also my yelled-from-the-rooftops request for more Hannibal fic from her. But I’m yelling in a polite way. Wouldn’t want to be rude to authors I admire, especially not in the Hannibal fandom. ;) Fic rec. Fic rec forever.


All my love to all of you wonderful writers. Your work has moved and entertained me so much. These are all fics that actively make my life better. Thank you for writing. <3 

Yuri on Ice BD choreography commentary translation - Volume 1

Since I did all the rest I figured I might as well translate the voiceover commentary in the choreography footage too. As this was not very long, I translated the complete script, it’s not partiaI (I actually wrote down all the Japanese and translated it). The commentary is by Kenji Miyamoto & Mitsurou Kubo.

Notes:
-It’s two people talking, not a written interview, so expect them to hop from one subject to another within the same sentence… Even if it sounds a bit unconnected at times, that’s how they said it.
-I still arranged it a little to make it easier to understand as written material, by removing lots of “ehm” “uuhm” “you know” “yes” (I especially removed all instances where someone says “yes” in the middle of the other speaking) and fumbled words.
-”tn” in square brackets are translator’s notes.
-Amusingly enough both their initials are KM/MK, but I used the surname initials so M is Miyamoto and K is Kubo.
-I put (LOL) when they’re laughing because otherwise some lines might sound serious while they’re actually joking.

***VERY IMPORTANT***
Do NOT use this translation for subtitles, in ANY way.
I don’t support the upload of bonuses contained in BDs/DVDs, as they are meant to be (as the word says) bonuses for the people who spent money to purchase them. If you like a series so much that you absolutely need to watch the bonus contents, please buy the BDs/DVDs.

Actually, one of the reasons I am translating all the content (booklet, commentary etc) is to encourage people to purchase the BDs/DVDs. I know many hesitate because they are expensive and they are only in Japanese, but you have the subs online and now you have translations for all the contents too, so it’s not like you will “not be able to enjoy the contents at all because of the language barrier”. The best way to support the series and help in the possible creation of a 2nd season (or a sequel in any form) is to buy the discs.


Miyamoto: Hello, I’m the choreographer Kenji Miyamoto.
Kubo: Hello, I’m the original planner Mitsurou Kubo. Thank you for today.
M: Thank you~.
K: Thank you for coming. Well then, this is Victor Nikiforov’s free skating, “Aria (Hanarezu ni Soba ni Ite)”. So, regarding the choreography, what did you pay attention to when you created it, Kenji-sensei?
M: Yes. Regarding Victor, I created the choreography trying to make his throat and chin look beautiful, like in the stone statues you see in museums.
K: So basically, it’s important to have a clear image when you create a choreography, isn’t it?
M: Yes. When you want to show something, you have to make it so that it comes forward.
K: So that it comes forward.
M: Yes. If you try to express too many things it will just get confusing, so I always try to show the points I want to convey as much as possible.
K: Ok. Regarding this choreography, well, it’s not really the choreography itself, but I would like to explain the reason Kenji-sensei’s clothing style is a bit unfashionable. If the right & left arms and legs don’t look different in some way there is a high chance that they’ll get mixed up when creating the animations, so we asked him to make them look somewhat different, and that’s why he’s like, showing only one sock, using different gloves, and so on.
M: Exactly. And it just happens that I was wearing striped socks that day (LOL). If I think about it now it’s quite embarrassing (LOL).
K: He’s also changing outfits a few times, and this is because from time to time we would like, retake the sequence, or ask him to skate again a part we didn’t have enough material for, and such.
M: This outfit [tn: the white shirt] was used to check how to depict the fabric fluttering because of the wind.
K: Though it was just in the beginning, right? (LOL.) But yeah, Victor’s skating in episode 1 is really, you know, the animated scene was really amazing, but actually “Hanarezu ni Soba ni Ite” is also the first program that was choreographed.
M: Yes. At the time there wasn’t a clear image for it, but I received lots of input from sensei, so…
K: Yeah, we requested the choreography when the story wasn’t completely decided yet, and I was kind of worried that we had made Kenji-sensei uneasy, but he came up with such nice steps.
M: Well, indeed, I did make it so that you could get level 4. In the program I used deep edges, choctaw, bracket, rocker, counter and all kinds of steps, so if you use it in a tournament you might actually get a good score. I mean, you will get a good score.
K: You do?
M: Yes.
K: See, we can feel at ease because we know that Kenji-sensei will think about all these things too when he creates the choreographies… Ah, this is my camera (LOL). [tn: when Miyamoto looks like he’s skating toward the screen]
M: This is when Kubo-sensei asked me to bring out a man’s sex appeal…
K: Yes, that’s right… (LOL)
M: That was really embarrassing (LOL).
K: I was gripping the camera and going “haaaaah” inside (LOL).
M: I see (LOL).
K: But I think that anyone who watches the final footage that was created for the broadcast will understand right away that Victor is a great skater, I mean, we could get a convincing sequence that conveys that. Thank you very much, Kenji-sensei.
M: Well, I’m not Victor, so it was really hard to skate that (LOL).
K: (LOL). Ok, so this was Victor Nikiforov’s free skating, “Aria (Hanarezu ni Soba ni Ite)”.

K: Ok, next up is Yuuri Katsuki’s short program, “Ai ni Tsuite ~Eros~”. Regarding this short program, in the anime it’s said that he’s skating it picturing a katsudon, but actually that’s something I added afterwards, so I never told anything about katsudon to Kenji-sensei when we requested the choreography. How did you create it?
M: I created it expressing the passionate feelings that a person straightforwardly directs to the thing they like.
K: Since it’s eros it’s about sex appeal, so we wanted athlete Katsuki to skate it with plenty of sex appeal. When we were creating the image, you know, I believe there are many child skaters who use sexy choreographies, and I heard that when Kenji-sensei teaches children how to perform the choreographies he tells them to imagine having honey on their hands and such, so I thought, “oh, it’s possible to compare it to food”, and that’s how I came up with katsudon.
M: I see (LOL). It happens pretty often that I teach athletes using expressions such as “like when soft ice cream melts”.
K: As a result, I received quite a lot of comments like “what a naughty katsudon”, so I was really happy to have done it, even though the impression might change at some point. Also, I think you have already noticed from the footage, but here we are shooting the sequence without using the full rink. I think it takes a lot of stamina to skate this using the full size of the rink, doesn’t it?
M: Yes, normally it would take about 3-4 strokes to reach top speed, but here I’m using 1-2 strokes, so if you were to do the same using the full rink I think it would require lots of power and skating skills (LOL).
K: But really, I mean, since we have recorded this footage as a bonus, I really would like some people to try and actually skate it in real life (LOL).
M: That’s right (LOL). I also would like to ask my students to try their hands at it (LOL).
K: (LOL). But yeah, this Kenji-sensei… The footage is made by putting together parts recorded at the Edogawa rink and at the Chiba rink, but isn’t your body shape a little different from part to part? You look like you’re getting a lot thinner… Is it fatigue?
M: No well, that’s because here you were saying, what was that…
K: “Do your best Kenji”? (LOL)
M: You said “do your best Kenji” and so I was doing my best moving around as much as I could (LOL).
K: Thank you (LOL). Ok, this was nice. Thank you. So, this was Yuuri Katsuki’s short program, “Ai ni Tsuite ~Eros~”. Thank you, Kenji-sensei.
M: Thank you.
K&M: See you~.
K: I’m waving my hands (LOL).
M: Waving them a lot (LOL).


Just a final note in case you’re wondering: Yes I am planning to translate all contents of future volumes (from 2 to 6) as well. I’ll be very very happy if at least a few people decide to buy the discs thanks to the translations.

Enchanted Chapter 6(Part 2)

My devoted dersha fam! First off I want to thank you again for your extensive support on the last chapter. I really do appreciate the commentary, likes, reblogs and so on and so forth! Even the threats when I haven’t posted in awhile lol! I want to say that I apologize for the delay I usually post a new chapter each week and never have you guys waiting this long for one! But with finals approaching, new projects, the stress of midterms, essays and exams, I wasn’t able to write as much but I assure you the wait will be worth it once you read. Welcome to the Dersha rollercoaster, buckle up cuz it’s sure to get bumpy! Catch up with chapter 5 right here ! Likes, re-blog, and comments are always welcome! Let’s jump into it! 

Jelena’s Condo- 2AM

Terrence was sitting down on the sofa, while watching Jelena curled up comfortably to his side, sound asleep, finally. It took him about an hour to get her to calm down after the robbery. She cried on the way to her place and when they got inside. She was very reluctant at first but after convincing her, Terrence gave her some pills to calm her down and she fell asleep shortly after that. After she fell asleep, Terrence kept going back between his head and his heart. On one hand, he really didn’t want to be here with this woman who crushed his heart into a million pieces. His pride was hurt without a doubt, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he still cared for her. He knew he should’ve left once she fell asleep but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t leave her like this. Not tonight. He couldn’t leave, at least for now.

Jelena began to move around a little on the sofa as these thoughts lingered in and out of his head. He lifted her head, and propped it on the pillow, releasing himself from her hold on him. He kicked his shoes off and quietly tiptoed to the kitchen, making sure he didn’t wake her up. He wrestled through the cabinets looking for green bags of Chamomile Sleepy time tea, put some water in a kettle and placed in on the stove to heat up. He leaned against the counter scrolling through his twitter on his iPhone. He read through a few tweets made to him by fans congratulating him and the team on making the playoffs. Few minutes later, the kettle hissed alarming him that the water was ready. He reached in the upper cabinet above his head for a mug, picked the kettle off the stove and poured the hot liquid into the cup. Placing the kettle back on the stove, he ripped open the tea package and placed it in the water, grabbing a spoon to mix it together. He added a taste of sugar with lots of honey knowing that’s how Jelena would like it. He did a test taste bringing some of the liquid to his lips and looked up to see movement on the sofa.

“Terrence” The woman says weakly.

“Yeah it’s just me”

“Where’d you go?”

“Over here by the kitchen”

“I sure hope you’re not cooking” Yawning in the middle of her sentence.

“Nah that’s your department remember”

“How could I forget? Every time you came home from an away game, you sent texts about how hangry you was”

“Sweating my ass off through a 3 ½ hour game makes you that way. Besides, you’re supposed to take care of me”

“Like you gave me a choice” Rolling her eyes looking toward the kitchen.

“I wasn’t that bad was I?” He asks and she stares at him giving off the ‘Are you serious’ look. He snickered at her facial expression.

“Point taken J-bean”

“I hate when you call me that” She stated and they laughed together at the mention of her nickname. It was given to her once Terrence discovered her secret love for jelly-beans. Laughter stops as she starts to shiver.

“Hey you okay?”

“Fine. It’s just chilly in here” Throwing the blanket over her legs.

“Well maybe this will warm you up a bit”

He says walking back over to the sofa, with the cup of tea in his hand.

“What’s that?’

“I made you some tea. Thought it might help you release some of the tension you’re feeling”

“You did?” Raising her brow.

“Just the way you like it”

“Pinch of sugar?”

“With a whole bunch of honey” He confirms. He offered the cup to her and she accepted, pressing her lips on the side. He sits next to her observing her as she sips.

“Thank you for the tea”

“No worries. How are you feeling?”

“Okay I guess. I mean the event was frightening enough, but you know me, got tough skin”

“Sometimes you have too much”

“It’s not like he killed me or anything”

“He had a gun J” Reminding her.

“I know” Taking small sips from her cup, staring down at her feet.

“That didn’t freak you out? At all? Not even a little bit?”

“Of course it freaked me out. I’ll admit…I was scared, who wouldn’t be?” Putting her cup down.

“But he didn’t shoot and I didn’t get hurt so there it is”

“You could have”

“& I didn’t”

“Yeah but you still could have” Terrence fought.

“I know, but I didn’t. You were there to save me. You didn’t have to but you chose to anyway”

“Jelena,” Reaching for her hands as she sat with her legs crossed and head down.

“I couldn’t live with myself if I let anything happen to you where I was around and I had the power to prevent it”

“You didn’t have to do that” Looking away from him.

“Hey, J, look at me” Terrence requested before grabbing her chin, turning her face towards him.

“I said look at me” She turned her head slowly.

“I didn’t have to but I did and I would do it again if I had to, ok?” Clearing things up.

“& why would you do that?”

“Because I care about you”

As he said these words, she reaches for his hand, placing it on top of hers.

“Thank you for caring”

“Your welcome” He answers her, as he starts an intense gaze into her green eyes. The two ex-lovers stare into each other’s eyes and the room stopped moving for a fraction of a second. With her hand on top of his, she reached up to massage his cheek, gently, very gently. Terrence closed his eyes at the warmth of her touch. She proceeded to keep massaging his cheek as a burning desire pulsates through her body. This was her chance to say something. She took it.

“Terrence- I” He interrupted her, removing the palm from his cheek and placing it on her thigh.

“I better go”

“It’s late”

“I’ll be fine getting back”

“Ok” She replies watching him get off the sofa. He slips his J’s back on heading for the door as she remains sitting on the couch. As he puts his hand on the knob, he feels a hand pull on his arm.

“Wait”

“Listen I know you’re still angry with me. I broke your heart and I’m sorry. I know we need to talk about it but…do you think you can just forget about how angry you are with me for one night? We don’t have to do anything, I just… want you to stay here with me. I really can’t take being alone right now” The devil girl pleads, with his back still turned. Suddenly, he locks the door and slowly turns to face his ex.

“Fine. But just for tonight”

“Ok” Grabbing his hand leading them back to the sofa. He kicks his shoes back off as he sits down next to her.

“It’s late you should rest”

“I really can’t think about sleep T”

“Maybe I can help”

Positioning his body to lay fully on the sofa. Jelena goes between his legs so her back is laying against his chest. She sinks down a little more as she rests her head on his shoulder. Hesitantly, Terrence wraps his arms around her tiny waist. Jelena turns her frame and wraps her arms around his waist as well, laying her head close to his heart. She listened to the soft sounds of his heartbeat as a tear fell down her cheek and they both begin to drift off to sleep. As his eyes closes, he wrapped his arms tighter around her. He took time to enjoy this moment because tomorrow, they would go back to being strangers.

—————-

The Warehouse

Head titled to the side, Ahsha feels a drop of water hit her leg as her eyes slowly open, bringing her back to conscious. How long had she been that way? Few hours? More? She didn’t know. Another drop meets her leg and her eyelids completely open. She reaches to run her fingers through her hair but instantly figures out that she can’t. She can’t even reach her fingers, not at all. They were tied behind her back. She was sitting in a chair, hands tied up behind her back, her legs too. She had no way to move and it pissed her off right away. She moved around in the chair looking around the room trying to make sense of where she was. The room she was held in was very spacious, lots of room, yet completely empty beside some cardboard stored on the side next to a baseball bat. No windows, no direct sunlight, nothing. 

She couldn’t think clearly, all she could think about was how did she get here. Why is she here? Who’s responsible? The last thing she remembered was talking to Devin before she screamed and was captured by a dark figure. She had blacked-out before getting a good look at the person. One thing that was clear was the fact that it was a man. No questions needed for that. But now, where was she? What was this place she was in and was she alone. No, not by a long shot. Her head was fuzzy as hell and her muscles were numb to the touch but she managed to tilt her head to the other side and her eyes wandered some more. Fear was instilled within her body, an electric shock that kept striking your skin as her eyes moved in other directions of the room. What she saw next shook her to the core. It was a start.

“Devin?” She whispers. Diagonally across from her chair was another person tied up exactly the way she was. His familiar face, beaten up pretty badly. The man was unconscious, completely not moving, at all, not once. His lip was split open, his head had a huge gash across his forehead, and purple bruises covered his once angelic face. If Ahsha knew anything, he definitely knew somebody hurt him more than they had planned on hurting her. Of course he couldn’t hear her but she tried to reach him anyways.

“Devin wake up please” A little louder this time. No response. Head still tilted. But a sound, a soft groan. One more time should do it.

“WAKE THE HELL UP DEVIN!” Whispering loudly now. Head moved all the way up, and his eyes opened. His vision wasn’t clear but he could spot this lady from miles away.

“Ahsha”

“Yes, yes it’s me, are you awake?”

“Half-way, where are we? What happened?” He asks.

“Trust me if I knew the answer to that question, we wouldn’t still be sitting here”

“You’re tied up”

“You’re tied up. Yea I gathered that apparently so are you” She replied sarcastically.

“Ok I get it but seriously what the hell’s going on?”

“You don’t remember anything?”

“My mind is blank right now”

“Your guess is just as good as mine”

“Can you remember anything?”

“No, all I remember is you sitting on the steps trying to tell me something. Someone came behind you then me and I passed out afterwards” She explains.

“We have to get out of here”

“Unless you can manage to get me and yourself out of these ropes, it’s not going to happen” 

She said annoyingly. The victims wanted to know why this all was happening. Little did they know their answers were inches away. They wrestled in their chairs and a door creaking open sounded. They both turned their heads quickly at attention to the special guest. By the look on Ahsha’s face, she wasn’t happy to see who it was.

“Oh Good you’re both awake now”

“What the fuck…German!”

“Guilty. Did you miss me? Oh hi buddy, sorry about the rope you know I tried telling my boys to go easy on you two but, they have a hard time following orders, like somebody else I know” Making his entrance.

“You crazy ass bastard untie me now!”

“Sorry darling, can’t do that I’m afraid”

“Am I missing something here?” Devin intrudes.

“Why are you doing to this to me?”

“Me me me, it’s always about you isn’t it Ahsh? Thought you grew up a little since college”

“& I thought your DICK grew too but I guess we all can’t get what we want then can we!” She spitted angry. Devin watched these two go at each other, completely and utterly confused of the connection.

“German what is this ghost of ex-girlfriend’s past and I didn’t get the memo?”

“Back the fuck up you know him too?”

“Yes and it appears you do also and I’m the last to find out” Devin scoffs.

“What the hell does that mean?!”

“I’m just sa-“Devin begins before German cuts the commentary.

“Now now now now calm down love. There’s a way to do this, and I know just the right way to do it”

“DO WHAT?” Devin and Ahsha say together.

“It’s obvious we need to spend some time clearing the air, setting the record straight because, you don’t know-“

Pointing at Devin.

“About Ahsha and I, and you don’t know-“

Pointing at Ahsha.

“How Devin and I know each other. So I would go with the long version but we don’t have time for all of that right now so why don’t we start with this…Devin and I have history. Way, way, way before I met you Ahsha”

“Meaning?” She questioned.

“Let’s just say there may have been a few things I left out about my past before I met you back in college” 

Moving closer to her chair, bending down and presses his lips on her cheek and she fiercely pushed it away. He forcibly grabs her cheek and kisses it hard. If her hands would’ve been free she would’ve wiped it off and slapped the taste out of his mouth.

“You sick freak!”

“Oh come on you know you like it rough. Now where was I with my story? Ahh yes, how we and Devin know each other. Me and my buddy right here. We go back, way back” Patting Devin’s backside.

“But still even that, didn’t keep me from lying to him, or you. Guess I’m like my father in that way. He told lies until the day he left this Earth…didn’t he Devin?”

“How would I know he was never around me long enough for me to figure that out” Devin responds.

“YES! And I know why. As it turns out, you and I shared a lot more than just a neighborhood and family dinners. More than you think”

“More than I think?”

“My mother. God rest her soul. You and I have known each other since we were 12 years old. My mother fed you, bathed you, drove you to school with me, and always made sure you were taken care of. She loved you and you knew that right?”

“I was there wasn’t I?”

“You was but what you didn’t know was that…she was fucking the drug kingpin of an organization…” Devin stared off into the headlights as he easily put it together.

“My father” Sighing heavily.

“OH- MY” Ahsha expresses in a low tone.

“Ding! Ding! Ding! BUT here’s where it gets tricky see…I was the only person that knew this. Caught em’ in the act, couple times actually and boy was it a sight to see, mommy dearest rode that pole pretty often and quite well if I may add. Anyway I didn’t read too much into plus business was booming and for a while I thought she was actually happy. That is until the cops came knocking and hauled his ass away to county. He goes away, gets sentenced to what was it, 30 years in prison? Pitiful right? Then again, you already felt that way. So, after seeing my mother cry way too many times, I decided to pay the son of a bitch a little visit. I wanted answers. Why sleep with my mother if you KNEW you were just going to leave her behind”

He starts. Pacing the floor.

“I just couldn’t understand, how a man could love someone and then just leave them behind. So I went to see him to ask him that exact question. Know what this nigga said to me…I would never leave you boys like that unless I had no choice”

Boys? The pieces of the puzzle were coming together.

“Then it hit me. My mother produced a child with him, and this was his way of letting me know that, this child was me” 

He concluded. Devin looked in shock, and disbelief. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. His father was his role model, his best-friend, not anymore. He thought he knew him, in and out, turns out he didn’t. Ahsha was speechless, this man she knew and dated for three years wasn’t who he portrayed. The life he portrayed with her was a total lie. She knew his life was complicated, not having both parents around but she never imagined it to be this way. Their entire existence as a couple…false, completely fabricated.

“Are you telling me…what I think you’re…telling me?”

“Do I really have to answer that?”

“TELL ME!” Devin spat, getting pissed by the second.

“Yes”

“No I want to hear you say it!”

“Were brothers!” German confesses.

“It’s been what twenty years you’ve known this and you never said a word!”

“I was given specific orders not to tell you aight!”

“BULLSHIT!”

“Before he was killed in prison, when I went to see him, he told me that I needed to protect you. He didn’t want you knowing about this and he wanted to keep it that way. So I kept it from you but I made sure you were always taken care of, even when you were locked up” He retorted.

Devin wasn’t believing any of this explanation. Meanwhile Ahsha stayed in silence watching her ex argue and reveal his true self to his not so long-lost brother.

“I only got locked up because you told me he would want me to take his place in the business. I was set up I didn’t get caught!”

“At least you didn’t have to serve most of your time, I needed you more than the system did”

“Oh word! So that’s why your ass bailed me out of jail”

“What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t do that for me you did that for yourself. Get me out of jail, landed me this job, all so you could…it all makes sense now. You bailed me out just so you could use me to get close to her. She’s the common denominator, it was all for her” 

The sibling hollered. Things seemed crystal clear but there was one more missing piece that was about to be uncovered. German paused as his ex looked at him with so much loath and his brother filled up with disgust. Yet, he stood emotionless.

“Well, yeah that’s exactly what I did, it was never about you. I didn’t act alone though, I had some help”

“As sick as you are, it only makes sense for you to have someone else help you do your dirty work” Ahsha commented jumping back into it.

“Touché’ baby girl. Turns out though, there’s somebody out there who hates the idea of you and Derek together forever just a little more than I do”

“Really and who would that be?”

German shrugged his shoulders and his partner appeared. The woman’s heels clicked against the pavement, strolling toward a very distraught Ahsha. She approached slowly, straightened out her hair, one hand on her hip, dressy blouse and skirt, looking like a sexy secretary.

“Hello Ahsha”

“Mary Roman”

———————

“Mrs. Roman sweetie” She corrected.

“You would stoop so low as to use my ex-boyfriend and try and break me and Derek up”

“Hardly, he contacted me actually”

“I don’t understand” She says and Mary giggles under her breath while German chuckles.

“What, are you two screwing each other and want to torment me about it?”

Devin accused them while German looked back and forth between him and Mary.

“Why don’t you finish telling them love?  I’ll take care of this” Moving closer to them. She scooted their chairs next to one another so they both were facing them now. She went behind them both and seen their wrists had red rings around them so she loosened the rope’s grip and untied their feet. She left out a third chair empty.

“I’m having fun guys aren’t you? No answer, Oh you want to hear the rest of my story. Well, Ahsha and I were together through college little brother. I was still dating her while you were in jail and she fell in love with a baller a few months into her position as a Devil girl. Long story short on that is she left your older brother for an coke-addict and basketball player”

“Wrong”

Ahsha intercepted him.

“What was I wrong about baby?”

“You really wanna know?” Batting her eyes.

“Of course I do. Go on and tell us”

“Come closer” She said to him. He approached creeping up on her, invading her personal bubble.

“Closer babyShe ordered him. He stood face to face as she leaned forward and whispered in his ear,

“I left you because your dick wasn’t big enough to make me cum every night, but he could, annnnywherree.” German moved away rapidly. He looks at her.

“I’m getting moist just thinking about it” Returning his look.

“Oh you don’t wanna hear my story. Come onn, I wanna tell you. You’re going to really love this one. The night we broke up, I went to him and he made sweet, sweet, love to me on the hood of his Ferrari. You know those cars you told me you’ve always wanted but we both know you’ll never be able to buy it. Mmmm…it was soo gooood” Taunting him. He backed away, step by step as she went on.

“But that’s not the only reason, I served you dust like I did. It’s because you’ll never ever be half the man he is to me. You never was and you never will be” She told him, with an evil smile.

“Well I’ll be damned” Devin adds, snorting.

“Did that hurt your feelings? Oh I’m sorry, wait wait, I’m not actuallyy” She sang.

Mary decided to help her partner out for the time being.

“Look here lil bitch, shut up about my son and let the man finish” Pulling out her pistol, pointing it in her direction. Gun or not, Ahsha wasn’t backing down.

“I have something for you too”

“What might that be sweetheart?”

“Go to hell”

“Ooooh, I’m shaking. Bad ass aren’t you? Well since you won’t let him continue the story, then I will, but first, we need everyone here. German, go get him for me”

German walks to the door, opens it and there he was.

“DEREK!!” Ahsha screamed in horror on the brink of tears as German dragged her fiancé and placed him next to her. Surely tied up but hardly beaten or bruised, just tape over his mouth. German removed the tape from his mouth roughly.

“What did you do to him?”

“Oh he’ll be okay, won’t you Roman emperor?” German tells him smacking him up a few times.

“Get the fuck out of my face” German still in his face.

“What you gone do baller?”

“Ohh I’ve got ideas trust me”

“Really? let’s see it”

“Alright boys. Let’s not be hasty here. Just relax. German pipe down” Mary defers.

“Yeah run to my mother like the punk ass bitch we all know you really are” Derek makes it known, smirking. German says nothing and stands next to Mary.

“You two are literally psycho. The sickest human beings I’ve ever met in my entire life I can’t even believe I have to call you my brother” Devin chimes in, his mind going too many places at once over all of these turn of events while Ahsha was only worried about one thing.

“Baby are you okay?”

“I’m fine”

“You’re hurt”

“Ahsha its okay I’m fine and so are you” The two lovers communicated. Mary points her gun towards the couple.

“She will be, for now. Of course that all depends upon you son”

“What more could you possibly want from me you greedy selfish bitch!” Derek fumes.

“Simple, you all to myself. German here, would like the same with Ahsha. See, when I found out you had proposed to, this one, I was mortified. I was tired of sharing you and it so happens that German was tired of you “taking” things from him. It was a miracle when I saw him in the streets about a few months back. I told him the news, he didn’t know at first but when I broke it to him, we both agreed it would be a match made in unholy matrimony. He wanted to stop it, so did I and that’s where we came up with this”

The mother started, without her or German even knowing what was happening while they weren’t looking. Given the fact that Devin had already freed himself, he mouthed to Derek to loosen his tie a little more and to free himself and Ahsha.

“All we needed was a way in. That’s where Devin came in, he was the bait, just like German’s “drunken accident” at your engagement party was”

“How creative you two are not” Devin laughs.

“You would have anything to do with destroying the good things in my life” Derek affirms.

“I live up to that but he made it easier than I anticipated. Create a scene where my son would be forced to protect the one thing he loves most, Ahsha. I knew you would do just that. All that was left for me to do was pull on the right strings to make sure my bait got used. The rest is history. Bottom line is this” She paused.

Derek and Devin were both free and were trying to release Ahsha to set their escape. They did it smoothly, with little to no movement, while German remained oblivious to it all.

“You can’t have us both Derek. You have to make a choice, but choose very carefully” Pointing her gun directly at Ahsha, inches away from Devin’s face. German walked around the room, moving behind their chairs, gradually.

“So son, who will it be? Me or her?”

The couple look at each other than back at Mary. Derek and Ahsha looked at each other once more, leaned forward, shared a light kiss then turned back to Mary. Her question was answered and she clicked on the trigger letting them know how unpleased she was. As German crept up behind the chairs, before he could say a word, Devin snatched the gun out of Mary’s hand,

“Game over bitch!”

Derek and Ahsha ducked for cover in sync and it went off. Their chairs fell to the floor as another gun shot by German sounded.

“You picked the wrong team little brother”

Firing two shots toward Devin as Ahsha and Derek tried to gather themselves off the floor.

“GO!! Get out of here now!” 

Devin demanded as he fired another shot at his brother who disappeared, for a second. Suddenly, as the couple headed out for escape, Mary grabbed Ahsha by the neck, and German took Derek in a choke hold from behind.

Both duos were fighting against each other and Devin ran to a corner and got the bat he was hit across the head with and went to Derek and German. German had kicked Derek to the floor and they scuffled on the ground over his gun. Without waiting Devin swings the bat and hits German’s skull violently and he crumbles to the ground and drops the gun. Devin grabs it fast and shoots him in the back three times.

“Bet you didn’t even feel a thing”

Derek gets off the floor. Devin helps him up.

“Thanks for the hand”

“Looked like you needed one” Devin added.

By this time Mary was still choking Ahsha from the front with the gun in her hand. She pressed her body against the wall. Ahsha didn’t want his help, this one she would handle on her own.

“AHSHA!”

“Aaargh!” Ahsha voices barely breathing.

“Told you to stay away from my son hoe”

“You crazy ass bitch!”

Ahsha struggled some more until she butt-headed the woman, took the gun and fired three shots in her stomach, and she fell to the ground. The nightmare was finally over, and never to return. Gun in her hand, she threw it to the floor and her eyes traveled across the room to Derek. Their eyes connected and she ran into his arms, sobbing. He welcomed her wrapping his arms fully around her frame, kissing her hair.

“It’s okay its okay”

Devin collected the guns letting the couple have their moment. She looked into his eyes as he held her face in his.

“Nicely played Ms. Hayes”

“Right back at you Mr. Roman”

“Are you okay?”

“No, but I am now”

He kissed her forehead and held on to her tighter.

“You guys alright?” They turned around to face Devin.

“Were fine. Thank you, for helping us”

“Turns out I have some crazy ass family members just like you” Speaking nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders.

“Tell me about it” Conversation was halted by the bust of cops invading the premises.

Police! Police! Police! Don’t move!

The trio put their hands up as they ran through. A single woman officer and male detective came in, witnessed the dead bodies, two pools of blood and the guns in Devin’s possession, next to Derek.

“What the hell happened here?” The cop asks them. They all stare at each other and all at once say,

“I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED” The cop nodded her head and waved her hand to the door so they could vacate.

“You three wait for me outside”

Passing all the policemen going in and out, they walked outside of the warehouse. The couple walked hand in hand as Devin made a phone call walking in front of them.

“Where do we go from here?” Derek stops walking, turning to his fiancée.

“Home”

Back in the Warehouse

“Two dead bodies, one male, one female, one blow to the head, three gunshots in the back. The other with three gunshots in the chest”

“Seems like the villains were taken down before they could cause any more damage”

“Accident?”

“Mm not likely” The male detective reassured.

“Investigation of a homicide?”

“Yes, only there’s two here”

“Where do you say we start?”

“Talk to the ones we found. Take them to station for questioning”

You made it! Did you enjoy the ride? ;) Two more chapters before we wrap up! Thank you for reading! 

������S�Y�F

OPEN LETTER TO FUTURE…

Dear Nayvadius DeMun Wilburn:

Fuck boy born November 20, 1983. Better known to the masses as Future. Let’s be clear about a couple of things off the bat… I don’t like you (please reference the above term of endearment). I think your music is ok- nothing spectacular there though. You are ok looking, not hard on the eyes at all but, whatever attraction could exist- cannot, due to your demeanor, attitude and persona that unfortunately represents nothing I would want to emulate.

Everyone pretty much knows your rap sheet:

3 Baby Mamas (*blinks*)

3 Children- Onesies w/ each Mom (At least no one was dumb enough to have more than one with you)

No Wedding bells for any of them (I am sure all 3 of them were the problem, not you *rolls eyes*)

You start dating Ciara at a pivotal (and convenient) time in your career

You Impregnate Ciara

You two get engaged

Ciara posts a pic with the 3 Baby Mamas referring to them as “Her Family” (Basically co-signing to an already fucked up sito, but she gets mad props for that)

Y’all engagement didn’t last (no surprise there)

Ciara becomes Baby Mama #4 (another onesie, making this 4 Baby Mothers, 4 Kids)

Ciara releases a single called “I Bet” inspired by your actions or lack thereof

Ciara keeps her promise and gets a better boyfriend (*inserts crying laughing emojis*)

Ciara makes an adult decision to have her new (and better) boyfriend around y’all son

And this is where it gets “tricky.”

There is commentary flying all over social media concerning whether or not Ciara is operating under a respectful and responsible guise by having her new boyfriend, Russell Wilson, around y’all young son, “Baby Future.” Celebrities are starting to weigh in like this is Drizzy vs. Weak Mills. Even though I think that the obsession with Pop culture can be kinda detrimental to our own personal lives, (as we only know but so much and need to concentrate on our own shit), I think that this is a good subject to discuss since you decided to speak on behalf of the Black community. Yes, Future… you suggested in one of your recent interviews that in the Black community WE don’t allow another man who isn’t the Father of OUR child(ren) to be around OUR kid(s).

Interesting.

Well, I have some questions for you:

The only way you can expect a woman to not have other men around your children is to marry her and become an official family unit vs. a broken unit. You have been blessed with 4 children, which in your case equals 4 mothers of your children. It didn’t work out with any of them? #IWillWaitForAnswers

While you are busy telling US the rules of engagement for new partners and children within the Black community, do you believe in giving a strong nuclear experience to YOUR children where there is a loving Mom and Dad in the same household? #IWillWaitForAnswers

Are you the custodial parent of ANY of the 4 children that you have helped to create? #IWillWaitForAnswers

Do you honestly believe that once a woman and you have broken up, you get to make up FUTURE (pun intended) dating rules for her when she is the custodial parent of the child??? #IWillWaitForAnswers

See Future, this isn’t about Ciara being inappropriate. She is the custodial parent who chooses to spend time with her boyfriend and her son at the same damn time (you see what I did there? Lol). I believe that any custodial parent has the right to make a responsible decision about WHO they allow to meet their child. This decision should be based upon how the new partner treats you, their own kids if they have any and, tell me “what that character do?” If all those things check out, who expects the custodial parent to sit in the house while the non-custodial parent is living their life like its golden (possibly creating more broken homes/more children, such as you’ve done, Nayvadius)? Maybe that controlling bullshit worked with the other Baby Mamas because they were still interested in you or they needed your money… I really don’t know. But I do know that Ciara doesn’t need her damn permission slip signed as the custodial parent to make decisions about her day to day life with a son you don’t take care of on a day to day basis. She sure as hell ain’t interested in you any longer and she sure as hell got her own coins!

I am not suggesting that just because we do not see pictures of you with your son, that you do not spend time with him, but let me tell you what I think your “criticism” is REALLY all about!

Jealousy. Envy. Fear. Pride.

Jealous that Ciara moved on to someone equally popular or more popular with his own coinage. Jealous that y’all son is spending a consistent amount of time with another man, even though you had your chance to be with her and therefore could be with him more often.

Envious that perhaps you think your son will end up fuckin w/ Russell way harder than he does with you. And on a much deeper level, maybe fearful that Russell may not only be a better man to Ciara, but a much better Father-figure than you are to your own son (and other children). You see, this jealousy, fear and envy is only topped by one other trait that no one seems to be talking about… Your pride.

It’s so not “manly” for another man to be handling what you should be handling, right??? Your pride is DAMAGED because the world is watching another successful Black man spend quality and seemingly loving time with YOUR son. Pride can be a mother fucker, this I know. But you made this bed over and over again and now you have to lay in this one.

Ciara isn’t doing anything wrong. The only thing wrong she did was date a man like you. She appears to be an awesome Mother who does an array of activities with her lil one. She has a demanding schedule with her fashion endorsements, tours, volunteer activities and musical aspirations (slight shade). She happens to be dating one of the most popular quarterbacks in the NFL. His schedule, too, is very demanding. I think it is beautiful for them to spend time together with y’all son. Ciara is sending a consistent message to her son that Russell cares about her, loves her and because Russell is an important part of HER life, he has no choice but to love her son like he is his own. See, Future, when you decided not to marry Ciara, that turned Ciara and Baby Future into a package. Russell is doing EXACTLY what any man in his position should be doing. Russell can’t have Ciara’s whole heart if the man she loves doesn’t love her child. They’re just practicing anyways! I believe very soon Russell will shut down all naysayers with a big ass ring. Then what will your argument be Future? Your son can’t spend time with Ciara’s husband and Baby Future’s Stepfather? Psssssshhhhhhhhh! #IBet oh and #GTFOH!

Her Solution:

Learn to control the controllables. You don’t own the child you have in the first place. You were just chosen (for whatever reason) to help give the child a healthy and happy environment to matriculate and evolve in. I understand that you are feeling prideful, but as long as your child is SAFE, you cannot control or be upset when the custodial parent decides that it is time to introduce the kids to the new partner.  If you cared that gotdamn much about your child being exposed to another partner, that ass should have married Ciara… or the other women. You’re worried about the wrong things. Worry about spending as much time as you can with those 4 kids instead of using your energy to hate on what has nothing to do with you. When Ciara marries Russell all your crying is gonna be obsolete. I pray that you get delivered from those demons of jealousy, envy, fear and pride and that you get filled with an enormous amount of love for your son and other children. Don’t be mad that another man is doing what you had the opportunity to do 4 times thus far. Embrace that you will possibly have to deal with 4 stand-ins at some point. Worry about being the best Father YOU can be… If we followed your rules of engagement for the Black Community, we’d be handing out broken families to everyone. No one should take your advice!

Get It How You Live,

Jessica

P.S. You have so much to say about Russell, but are forgetting how Ciara accepted your other Baby Mamas smh… You gotta do better brotha!

XOXO

~Tsukkiyama Fest~

Day Three: Internet Friends

Title: XOXO

Rating: PG

Summary: Tsukishima has something important to tell Yamaguchi, but he has to go to practice. Yamaguchi promises to wait up for him.

Tsukki11: I have something I need to tell you… but, shit, I gotta go to practice.
Yamayamakkun: its ok! how about tonight? are u gonna be on?
Tsukki11: Oh, yeah.
Tsukki11: Probably around 10 my time, but I don’t want you to lose out on sleep.
Yamayamakkun: itss fine!! ill stay up. i mean i should probably study or read or do something or homework or other ish maybe
Tsukki11: lol You already sound delusional. Are you sure you’re gonna make it?
Yamayamakkun: omg did you just lol? i mean really. like for realz.
Tsukki11: …are you kidding me I’m on the bus
Yamayamakkun: LOOOOOL im just imagining you making faces at your phone
Tsukki11: Clearly you are REALLY delusional
Yamayamakkun: and some1 is probably snapchatting themselves with u in the background omg omg
Tsukki11: That. Is not happening.
Yamayamakkun: ok im just saying i would totally snapchat with you in the background
Tsukki11: ………..
Yamayamakkun: or in the foreground, whatever! if ur face was here. but its not, its at volleyball practice
Yamayamakkun: gogo dont let me keep u
Tsukki11: …Are we still on for tonight?
Yamayamakkun: of course u nerd. i wanna hear what u have to tell me.
Tsukki11: Okay then. Talk to you later.


Tsukishima exited the chat program and slipped his phone into his bag. He had gotten off the bus and was walking up to the gymnasium for tonight’s volleyball practice, where cell phones were strictly prohibited. Apparently chatting with a long-distance online friend while squatting and tossing was not considered acceptable behavior by the rest of his team mates (he had tried it and been scolded at least twice).

Yamayamakkun, aka Yamaguchi Tadashi, was a friend he had met online through some Reddit forum or another that he couldn’t really remember now. Somehow they got into a conversation with each other that had continued outside of internet forums and into instant messaging, texts, and video chat.
Separately, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi were pretty different people. Where Tsukishima approached much of life with disdain and sarcasm, Yamaguchi met the day with quiet pleasantness and shy benevolence. Maybe being the same age had cemented their friendship, or perhaps the way both of them were different but liked to laugh at the same things. Maybe it was the distance the internet itself provided that allowed them to vent about their days in thorough detail or describe otherwise incredibly private personal facts with one another without worrying about a backlash.

At this point, they were each other’s best friends. There wasn’t a day where one wouldn’t talk to the other (the longest they had gone without speaking was 9 hours and 22 minutes, a fact Yamaguchi had informed Tsukishima of but that he had himself secretly counted out). They knew practically everything about each other, including class schedules, allergies, and the timing of their bowel movements. As soon as one saw the other online, a chat would be started that would carry on, inconsistently or with constant a constant barrage of jokes and commentary, throughout the day and night.

Maybe that was why Tsukishima was having a harder time putting down his phone lately. He was always checking for messages. He had even gotten disciplined in class for blatantly checking his phone in the middle of a lecture. He couldn’t stop himself. Yamaguchi’s texts and photo edits made the world a brighter place, even if his grammar and spelling sometimes read like the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Tsukishima wasn’t really the smiling type, so it weird but also a huge relief to have found somebody that made him grin like an idiot. He wasn’t great at making friends, and he certainly wasn’t going steady with anyone. He didn’t wax poetic on love, and often complained about the ridiculousness of the chaste shoulder-bumping and umbrella-sharing his dating classmates were so ritualistic about. Shove a note in someone’s locker, bake them cookies? It was all so medieval. Yamaguchi had laughed with him about it, too, although Tsukishima couldn’t forget how Yamaguchi had later mentioned that he’d listen to a dating proposition if he was offered some squishy french fries. They had then argued in length about whether squishy fries or crunchy fries were better, and at which restaurant, and whether or not fries were a food worth reheating. 

Tsukishima took note of Yamaguchi’s preferences, both in his head and on paper. (Squishy. McDonald’s. Yes but you should also just buy more.) That was one red flag. That it wasn’t the only time he took notes on Yamaguchi was yet another. At first he didn’t want to accept the possibility of loving a guy, especially a guy that lived so far away. But the longer he sat with his emotions and the more he chatted with Yamaguchi, the harder it became to deny that Yamaguchi made his life not only tolerable, but immensely, immeasurably better. And sometimes that made him want to do that medieval lovey dovey crap like buy him fries or hold his hand.

That’s what Tsukishima had wanted to talk to Yamaguchi about tonight. He’d wanted to do it every night for about three weeks now, but it took him until waking to his twentieth nervous stomachache and giddy grin at Yamaguchi’s “good morning” text for him to decide enough was enough. He would tell Yamaguchi how he felt, even if it made things awkward. More fries for me, Tsukishima posited.

He made it through practice and the short commute home with next to no focus on what he was actually doing. He got hit in the head with a volleyball at least six times that night and had only yelled about it once, much to the confused horror of his team mates who were used to Tsukishima’s surly insults. As he opened his front door, he greeted his family, yanked off his shoes, and tripped over the stairs to run up to his room. He turned on his computer and the video chat client he and Tsukishima used, eager but also a little panicky and sore in the shins.

The tension in his shoulders evaporated completely when he noticed Yamaguchi’s idle status. He clicked on the icon for his video stream only to see that Yamaguchi was fast asleep. His face was hidden in part by his hair and by the arm his face was half smashed up against. His mouth hung open and a droplet of drool quivered on his lip with every measured breath he took. It wasn’t what a stranger would call an attractive moment to be caught in, but Tsukishima wasn’t in a position to be objective. He was in love with his stupidly distant internet friend and any moment with him, however far apart they were, was one that he held embarrassingly dear.

He didn’t want to disrupt Yamaguchi with a loud noise, so he sent him a message instead. No response. He sent him another, and then another, just to be sure.

Tsukki11: Yamaguchi?
Tsukki11: Hello
Tsukki11: You are asleep.

He was hopeful but also terrified that Yamaguchi would wake up. If he did, he would at least get the words that were eating him alive into the open and with Yamaguchi to do with as he pleased. But there was also the fear of rejection, the terror of losing somebody who had somehow managed to get through to him in spite of the usual separation he kept between himself and others. His stomach rolled again as he thought of the possibility of losing his relationship with Yamaguchi, even though his brain blandly reminded him that Yamaguchi wasn’t actually there to be lost. All he’d lose was some Skype contact, some text messages, some emails. His classmates joked about online relationships all the time and he knew that to most people, such relationships held no value. They were stupid, fake, built on lies, and not at all centered in reality.

Tsukishima watched Yamaguchi sleep. People could say what they wanted to. He couldn’t think of anything better to do with his time beyond what he was doing now. His stomach felt like the victim of a velociraptor attack, but his chest was tight with a happiness that he would never be able to describe as fake. What he felt was the real deal. And he wasn’t going to run away from it.

He put his fingers back on the keyboard and began to type again.

Tsukki11: Hey again.
Tsukki11: Thanks for trying to stay up for me.
Tsukki11: I really appreciate it.
Tsukki11: Really.
Tsukki11: I’m sorry I didn’t make it in time to talk to you tonight.
Tsukki11: But I’ve gotta say… I’m glad you left the video on.
Tsukki11: You look really cute when you sleep.
Tsukki11: Have a good day.
Tsukki11: XOXO

He covered his face with his hands and groaned internally. Those four stupid letters were more emotionally charged than any other words he had ever used in his life. Pathetic. Was Yamaguchi going to catch on? And if he didn’t, would it matter? Wouldn’t Tsukishima still love and support him anyway?
He sighed heavily and rested his chin on his hand. If this was the closest he was ever going to get to sleeping with Yamaguchi, then he would let himself enjoy every second of it. “Good night, ” he murmured to himself, pretending that Yamaguchi would hear.

In the morning, Yamaguchi woke up to two painfully tingling forearms and a puddle of drool the size of his face soaking the top of his desk. Crap, he thought to himself. I fell asleep on Tsukki. He looked up to his darkened screen and shook the mouse, cursing himself for not just falling asleep, but doing it at his computer with his video chat on. It was embarrassing enough to have gone on video chat without Tsukki even there on the other side, but to have also fallen asleep while waiting for him to show up was probably something Tsukki would wind up laughing about for weeks. Even though he was mortified, he was glad that his ridiculousness would bring a smile to Tsukki’s face. He deserved it. More than anyone, Yamaguchi had long since decided. He did his best to make that stubborn grump smile every day.

When his screen blinked on, he squinted at light as his eyes readjusted to its brightness and gaped at what he saw. It was Tsukishima. He had come online, after all. But like Yamaguchi, he, too, had fallen victim to the hour. His arm was bent at the elbow with his head resting against it, glasses skewed off his ears and halfway onto his forehead. He was snoring quietly and at intervals would grunt in his sleep. Yamaguchi stared at his screen and bit his lip absentmindedly. I’m lucky, he thought to himself. I’m so lucky.

After a few long minutes of watching Tsukishima, Yamaguchi noticed that a notification was blinking for chat messages. He opened the dialogue box and read over the words.. As he read the last message from Tsukki, his heart began to pound loudly in his ears. Oh, God, Yamaguchi thought to himself as he felt his face turn an inevitable deep red. Does he mean it? Does he know? He stopped breathing for a second as he felt the threat of tears rise up behind his eyes. Did Tsukki really send him that? Did he really mean it when he said XOXO? And was he really getting this worked up about four letters?

He wanted to shake Tsukishima by the shoulders, yell at him to explain himself, to be more direct, to just say something, anything! But of course he couldn’t do that through a screen. So he pouted and with shoulders slumped continued to stare at his internet friend as he snored into the night. Ah, right. The night. It was still dark, and as leaned over to peek out his windows Yamaguchi noticed no trace of the coming dawn. Duh, he thought to himself as he checked his computer’s time. That’s because it’s 2:43AM, dummy. He tilted his head back and sighed dramatically. He had to get some more sleep, but he wasn’t going to be able to do it in his bed - not now that Tsukki was right there on his screen. He bit his lip, and with his head cocked to the side, typed out a message for Tsukishima to find in the morning.

Yamayamakkun: not as cute as you.
Yamayamakkun: xoxo
Yamayamakkun: good morning <3

So I’ve been talking to people in the real world, about the 3b finale. My anti-SQ friends in real life, who ‘just don’t see it’ who laughed when I talked about subtext, are now being weirdly sympathetic about my frustrations. It’s as though seeing a really forced heterosexist ship sail to completion made them go 'ohhhh…yeah…that really is in your face…’

When I talked to a straight friend of mine, someone who doesn’t ship SQ, was enticed by CS at first, but now thinks that CS has veered right into the middle of a rape-culture fantasy, she said to me, 'you know…it’s just not fair that there aren’t more lesbian couples on television.’ What struck me about it was the 'not fair’ part. It’s not fair. She and I nodded silently at that for a long time. She hated the CS make-out scene and she is (was) a CS shipper. Because she had a moment of being an ally instead, of seeing the show through my eyes and the eyes her queer female friends, for whom CS and OQ are about heterosexism (hence the rushed, forced nature of both, pretty much a commentary on heterosexism!). 

Not fair. To be told 'just keep watching’ and then have this flung at us as a giant LOL for falling for the subtext, enjoying and supporting the show, and believing that a whole bunch of people wouldn’t play 'Henry has two moms’ as a joke and a slap across the face. And the 'shippers’ who are attacking SQ shippers over all of this, are often just Hook and Hood fans who hated the queer following that this show has from the start. They get furious at us for calling them heterosexist but they put it this way 'stop calling everybody homophobic.’ Which is revealing, isn’t it? They get to demand when the term is useable. Homophobes telling us 'don’t you dare use your own language to describe me, I am above you.' 

We should all keep noting these things because they’re a good microcosm and case study in how oppression operates. 

katelrar  asked:

Hello! In your response to the "grumpiness" post you refer to a co-star of B. Cumberbatch as having a history of racist, homophobic and sexist remarks. I'm hoping it's no one associated with BBC Sherlock. Would you be willing to name this person, assuming these remarks are "in the public domain", so to speak? If not, I understand, but I really am curious to know. Thanks!

Hi katelrar!

Ahhhhh hmmm. I think many people know about this but I feel bad talking about it, because it rains on my parade when I think about it for sure.

During Hobbit press last year Martin Freeman made (not his first) rape joke, which launched a fresh round of “can we still like this guy” kind of commentary. Like: “Martin Freeman’s Jokes: A Consistent Pattern of Offense.” This piece links back to what is likely the most infamous evidence on this front—a 2008 interview with The Daily (F)ail, which included this gem from Martin Freeman. I will bold the part I find mind-boggling:

Multiculturalism hasn’t and doesn’t help, because rightly or wrongly it polarises people so much. Racism is one thing—and I don’t agree with that in any form—but noticing that there are differences is normal and fine and to be encouraged. We’ve reached a state now where it’s, ‘You shouldn’t notice. Why are you noticing he’s got a bomb and has a beard and is Muslim and wants to kill your family? There is no country in the world like this. If all of a sudden all the traffic wardens in Ghana were Welsh, they’d really notice and might not love it… We give ourselves a hard time in this country in a sort of mea culpa way. But if we were that racist, people wouldn’t come. Very simple.

LOL, right? If there were really racism in a place, the victims of that racism wouldn’t come/stay! Then the DM journalist tosses in, “Personally, I wouldn’t want Freeman hanged for these remarks.” Ahahaha it’s amazing how you can be paid to be such a hack writer. Anyway, it goes on, “Before he moved north he lived in Crouch End, and before that Bethnal Green [diverse, formerly relatively cheap neighborhoods in north and east London, respectively]…Of the move he says: ‘I got out just after the BNP were elected in 1993. That was a disgrace.’” (The BNP is the British National Party, fascist white supremacists who are batshit insane. Total disgrace, yeah.) I include this context because I do hate it when quotes are taken out of context; these are problematic views, side by side with unproblematic ones.

In the same piece MF casually uses the n word and talks about “poofs” in Hollywood. Etc. And I remember I found out about this when, years back, I googled “Martin Freem—” and Google helpfully jumped in, suggesting “Martin Freeman racist.” No Google, that was not what I was after, but.

When I was looking around for these quotes today I found a piece (post- Hobbit rape joke) that compared the question of whether we can like Martin Freeman to whether we can enjoy Roman Polanski films, which is INSANE. But it does offer up a perpetual question with artists, the idea of divorcing the art they make from the person making it. I think this is an easier question with an actor than with a writer: you can be a talented actor and as dumb as rocks, for example (see: Adrien Brody—this very topic was discussed at length with unreconstructedfangirl last week). Just because you are great at saying beautiful words doesn’t mean you personally are full of beautiful words.

There’s another question here, too, about exposure and the kinds of questions people ask in interviews. I think there’s a difference between making a joke in the heat of the moment and this 2008 conversation. I don’t think the latter would happen today; it strikes me as very mate-y, this kind of middle England ‘this is just the stuff we all say down at the pub, amirite’ kind of talk. On an international press junket for a multi-film blockbuster, I’d be shocked if he said any of this. But does that mean he isn’t thinking it? Does that even matter?

(A pause here to say that on an international press junket for a multi-film blockbuster, he did make an extraordinarily deadpan joke about Lucy Liu being ugly—“a dog”—than many interpreted as sexist—and racist. This one is a little more grey for me. Is there another way to use sarcasm to highlight the fact that she is the more beautiful Watson? Yes, his language choice was poor. I doubt he’d use the same words to make a similar joke about Jude Law, arguably also a more beautiful Watson. I think when it comes to issues of sexism I’m a little resigned; the codes deeply embedded in our language are hard to call out. You could make similar arguments for racist or homophobic language too, though.)

I got a Netflix subscription years back solely to watch the entire back catalogue of Gary Oldman, who I’d become obsessed with. I had, until a few months ago, a line in the bio of my my tumblr about this. I always cringed through the DVD extras because he never sounds like a genius; he speaks quite slowly, and the punchline you’re waiting for is rarely impressive. And then a few months back I started seeing out-of-context tweets like, “Fuck Gary Oldman,” and it turned out he told Playboy a whole bunch of racist, anti-semitic, and homophobic things. He stuck up for Mel fucking Gibson. To make matters worse—AH SO DEPRESSING—he said he was a libertarian. A libertarian in Hollywood is not the acceptable kind of libertarian.

(He also hides under the mantle of the First Amendment-y sort of, ‘why can’t we all just say our minds’ thing trolls love so much. He tells Playboy, “I just think political correctness is crap. I think it’s like, take a fucking joke.” I add this because I do think we should be able to take a fucking joke. I have laughed at plenty of offensive jokes over the years. But you can usually tell if “I’m not PC” means you’re a kind of uncensored, edgy comedian, or if you are looking for shorthand to tell me you’re racist. Usually it’s the latter.)

I was disappointed—but not shocked. I know GO’s background: post-war working class, an abusive childhood in southeast London. No excuses, but our beliefs are constructed by the circumstances of our lives: who raised us—who taught us not to be racist, or, of course, the flip side—and the things we experience along the way. And I guess while I want people to confront these dudes and shake them a little, tell them it’s not enough to apologize but to actually learn to not secretly think these things anymore, I simultaneously think, “Who cares what they think? They are not paid to think; we should not give their words so much weight.” It’s so, so complicated—and I still love Gary Oldman the actor, just maybe not Gary Oldman the man.

By the same token, I still love Sherlock, even with Martin Freeman’s casual racism, Steven Moffat’s thoughtless sexism, Mark Gatiss’s—no, MG is perfect, don’t tell me he’s ever said anything offensive. We can love and consume and engage with these people and their show; we can critique and call out and demand more from all these people and their show. These dialogues are always evolving—and that gives me hope. 

Just watched Benedict’s cameo in Zoolander 2. I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did.

First: the trailer took that scene so out of context it was ridiculous. The scene is not funny, Hansel’s commentary isn’t meant to me a joke (nor is All) and All seemed pretty hurt by it. And Benedict’s acting in this part, man… Just a few seconds, All had no expression at all, but you could see in their eyes how affected they were by the shitty comment. Yes, Benedict Cumberbatch did it again. Blew my mind, this time in a goddamn trash movie.

All is also a fucking genius, by what they did to the two idiots later (the “old lame” joke oh mY GOD.). Derek and Hansel ARE the biggest joke in it, made even more clear by how the audience inside the movie laughed AT them and by the conversation both had after All was gone. All is nothing but a badass.

I’m in love with this character, and it was on screen for less than 5 minutes. What the fuck, Cumberbatch.

mtellerz replied to your post: My brother and sister saw Mad Max toda…

yeah george miller started it as a graphic novel relying on visual storytelling so it was never meant to have lots of dialogue, but yeah they do have a point with pocppl you’re right though it’s just a movie with important themes that looks A+++

yeah, true, thinking about the origins of something and how it was made is also v important. Like there wasn’t even a script for Mad Max…it was honestly just the storyboard as you said. Like in the press conference Tom said having a script would’ve been nice lol but that’s why you get more visuals versus dialogue. But on the commentary for the dialogue being simple i think that’s just part of the universe and world-building…i don’t think it’s neglect on George Miller’s part. There is intent behind it. And I actually appreciated there was just such simple descriptors for things…”Gastown”, “Bullet Farm”, “The Green place”. It’s elementary and lines like “I am the scales of justice, conductor of the choir of death!” is ridiculous but that is the point. Like I loved that scene with the bullet farmer and I love that I can laugh AND take that scene seriously despite how much damn fun it is, and how ridiculous it is. It is fun. It is silly. Mad Max is a weird movie. But you have to brace yourself for the wild ride it is and just accept it and go along with it.

I like it because it really puts you back in touch with your inner child. Like who doesn’t want to say ridiculous things like that and go back to playfighting and swingsets, and putting on fake capes and pretending they’re on top of the world? That’s what Mad Max does for me and I love it. I love it’s ability to be silly.