this opening breaks my heart


Me: *opens book* could you just not break my heart for once?

Sarah J Maas: “My hair is so silky from all the tears of my readers”

anonymous asked:

I had this sudden idea , i dont really headcanon it but it seemed interesting to me , what if lance is adopted, its not really likely but maybe thats why he cherishes his family, i mean its not likely but it seems interesting,

[fandom exists to enjoy things - seriously, it doesn’t matter how likely an idea is to be canon, you are here to explore things and play with the characters you’ve come to know and love. so never hesitate to send us an ask, no matter how (un)likely it seems to be, we’re open for everything^^]


Imagine tiny, 3 years old Lance in an orphanage with next to no memories of his real parents. And he’s getting along fine with the other kids, he isn’t the most popular but not the most unpopular either, but he doesn’t have real friends. Sure, there is always someone to hang out and have fun with, but no one he can come to when he’s crying over the hurt bird he found in the backyard. Crying is looked down upon - everyone has a hard life, so what business does he have crying about anything? Learn to grow up.

So young Lance learns. He learns to smile and tease and be happy and outgoing. He learns to be confident and radiate positive energy because that’s what makes people want to stick around. When he is 7 years old, he knows how to be a “cool kid”.

A year later he gets put into a foster family. A foster family with lots of other children, all older than him. They are happy and outgoing and touchy and love to hang out with him. 

[Once, just once he tested how far this love would go: he pretended to have a stomachache. His foster parents were so worried for him that they forbade him to go to school, his siblings brought him crackers and kept him company in his room while he ‘rested to get better’. His grandma went out and bought new medicine, ‘just in case it might get worse’. For Lance, it was heaven - he thought that these people might really become “family”. People that maybe, one day, he could share secrets with and depend on.]

The first time he cries is when he gets adopted into the family. He is 10 years old then; he is 10 years old and loved and knows that these people want him. 

When his family sees him crying, their reaction is not the friendly teasing he anticipates. It’s shocked faces and hugs and reassurances and, finally, laughter when he admits that he is just so happy that he couldn’t help himself. He gets his hair ruffled and arms arounds his shoulders - and when they take their picture with a “612 days in foster care: now we are one family” shield held up by him and his siblings, he later discovers that he wasn’t the only one that had tears in his eyes.

They move to the US. The first months are harsh; he has learned some English in school but it wasn’t nearly enough to keep up with the kids over here. And the first time he cries because of insults getting hurled his way, his mother comes and envelops him in a hug.

A hug.

No one laughs about his tears anymore. No one puts their image above anyone’s feelings and for the first time Lance really understands what it means to have a family. He vows to protect them all and help them in any way he can. He cooks with his mom; he talks about planes with his dad; he knits with his grandma; he does face masks with his sister; he learns how to play soccer with his brother. Once a week, they all go swimming together - they all miss the ocean. They all miss their home in Cuba.

When a few years later the topic of adoption comes up again, Lance is the first one to say “yes”. His parents look at him in surprise and for the first time ever he really tells everyone how much becoming part of their family means to him. It’s an emotional event and more than one of them ends up crying. But it’s okay: it’s okay because crying is not a bad thing here, they are family, they are each other’s support, they have hugs and shoulder pats and cuddle piles. It’s okay.

A few months later, they adopt two new children. Lance is happy and proud and makes sure to be the best big brother anyone could ever ask for. He teaches them how to tie their shoes, how to sneak out of the house, how to whistle and how to properly throw a ball. 

Not even a month later, he goes on a school trip to a planetarium. It’s when he realizes that he wants to become a pilot - he wants to reach for the stars. He wants to fly and reach for the stars and be free of judgement. He wants to fly and have a home to come back to.

When he excitedly tells his family about it, they cheer for him and support him. They help him look for programs to get into flight schools, his father lends him all the plane magazines he has, they buy glow-in-the-dark paint and paint his bedroom ceiling. They help him with his grades to get him into the Garrison flight program and when he gets accepted, they have a huge celebration party in his honor.

He never forgets the picture they made at the airport, all together, waving him goodbye.

[He misses their hugs.]

[He misses their hugs just like he misses the ocean.]

[He misses their hugs, he misses the ocean, he misses home - but over time he comes to realize that he has found a new family. A smaller one than before but one that’s just as lively, just as fun. He still misses them, of course; but this new family makes the distance between them much more bearable.]

-mod: happylance

“Hey princess” part II - Jeff Atkins x Reader

Request(s): -  I neeeeed more flirty Jeff imagines!!!! Maybe with a kiss at the end? The rest is completely up to you😘

-  Can you please please please do a part two to hey princess. 

-  do a fluffy Jeff but please don’t let him die

-  for the jeff atkins imagines can i get one for his and the readers first date. like they go to rosie’s or the movies. anything really as long as it’s super fluffy. thank youuuu

You saw Jeff waiting by your locker at the end of the day. 

“Finally” he said with a smile.

“Aw, poor Atkins. He thought I wasn’t coming” you mocked. Jeff laughed. Oh, God, that laugh…

“Actually, yes. I was afraid you could change your mind about this” you smiled, he was so cute. 

“Of course no. I’m ready, are we walking to Monet’s or…?” 

“My car. Follow me to the parking lot, princess” he said with a funny voice, making you laugh.

The journey to Monet’s was really nice. You discovered that he was a huge fan of Oasis, just like you and you learned that his favourite song was ‘Don’t look back in anger’. Then you two had a playful argument because he said Liam was better than Noel.

“C’mon, Jeff. Noel is the one who wrote most of the songs. He is a lyrical  genius” you said while exiting the car.

“Princess, I really like you but Liam Gallagher is God to me, so you have to stop or you are gonna break my heart” he said, opening the door for you.

“Oh, who knew that Jeff Atkins could be a gentleman? But if you think it’ll help, stop trying. Noel is the best one” Jeff let out a loud laugh.

“You are gonna be the death of me, Y/N”

You two found a place to sit in the corner. Monet’s was full of people from the school and you really didn’t want rumours about you and Jeff dating to spread. The corner was perfect.

“I’m gonna order. What do you want, princess?” he asked.

“Coffee and cake for me please” You said with a sweet smile. He smiled back at you and went to order. You were feeling relaxed in the car but now you were starting to feel nervous. Really fucking nervous.

You’re in a date with Jeff Atkins. Jeff, your crush since you were around ten years old. You never thought you’d ever have a chance with him but here you were. C’mon Y/N, do not screw this up. 

“What are you daydreaming about? Don’t tell me you’re already fantasising about me naked, Y/L/N?” you were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t sae him come back from the till.

“Stop dreaming, Atkins”

“You always say that. What do have against dreams, huh?” he joked.

“Actually, I’m always dreaming. My mum says I should be more realistic” you explained. You were always daydreaming, most of the time about Jeff.

“Reality is overvalued” he said. You agreed.

“What’s your dream? he took a long breathe.

“I want to be a professional baseball player. But I don’t know if I’m good enough”

“Dude, you’re awesome at baseball” you said “I’ve seen you play. You should apply to Vanderbilt. They have the best baseball program in the country”

“How do you know so much about Vanderbilt?” he looked impressed. 

“My dad loves baseball. We watch it together so I know a lot about it” you winked at him.

“Can we get married already?”  you laughed. 

The afternoon had passed quickly between jokes and laughs. You learned a lot about Jeff, he was really nice and he cared so much about his family and friends. 

As the clock struck 7, you both knew that it was time to go home. Jeff parked outside your house but you didn’t move from your seat.

“So… I had a good time” “I lied” you both spoke at the same time. You looked at him confused 

“When I told you that I only have one dream. I lied, I have two”

“Oh, okay. Well,  what’s your other dream?”

“ To kiss you” 

“Dreams should come true, don’t you think?” you smiled, getting closer to him. Jeff didn’t hesitate to lean it.

Kissing Jeff made you feel a mix of emotions. You felt something explode inside you, and its better than anything you could have ever imagine. 

“God” he says as you two broke away “you are amazing”

“I know” you tried to play it cool but your hands were shaking and as soon as he noticed it, he took your hands into his and smiled.

“So.. what do you think about a second date, princess?” 

“I say yes to that. And yes to the third and the fourth and…” he interrumped you with another kiss.

Oh, man. That boy was going to be the end of you.

“I should have died.”

Cullen: The last time I was here was the day I left for Templar training. My brother gave me me this. It just happened to be in his pocket, but he said it was for luck. Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our faith should see us through.

Quiz: I don’t think it worked. You haven’t been all that fortunate.

Cullen: I should have died during the Blight. Or at Kirkwall. Or Haven. Take your pick. And yet, I made it back here.

Oh man. This seems like quite an innocuous thing to say, but I think there’s actually a lot to unpack here. I normally choose the top or middle answers for everything, so I’d never heard Cullen say this before. To understand how devastating this line is (and I actually teared up when he said it) we need to understand Cullen’s history.

So, friends, let’s dive into a biography and character analysis of Cullen Rutherford (much longer than originally intended; my deepest apologies to mobile users who weren’t looking for a history lesson today) - under the cut so I don’t hit you with a wall of text. CW for some discussion of torture.

Keep reading


I’ve been there before, leaving my heart like an open door. Breaking my back, wasting my time, I lost my sight.
I’ll shake it off and step out of line
I’m thinking that it’s about time
to find control and slip away
Watch your step, don’t get caught.

Chase You Down (4)

Bucky x Reader

Based off of Chase You Down by RUNAGROUND

Summary: The infamous Brooklyn mob boss, Bucky Barnes, has a tendency of sleeping around and killing people on a short fuse. So what happens when a certain girl catches his eye and turns his already shitty world upside down?

BEFORE YOU READ: this is a semi-oc fic! You can still insert your name into the fic, that’s not changing. However, ‘you’, will have some characteristics that ‘you’ might not actually have in real time. It just fits the story better if I actually describe it instead of leaving holes in the story. Enjoy!

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), swearing, fluff, angst (grab a tissue box you’re going to need it)

Word Count: 2.7k+


Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Epilogue

Originally posted by oreo-wonderbatch

I love waking up to a warm bed side. Companionship is amazing and going to bed and waking up to the person you love most is an amazing feeling.

It’s been almost a week since the house incident and I haven’t let her out of my sight. I know I’m being paranoid, but I can’t help it. I’m scared for her. I’m worried what might happen to her if I take my eyes off her for too long. I can’t lose her.

Keep reading

womanhood // s. mardon

last year i wanted to write about girlhood but nothing came out right. this year i wanna write about womanhood, about this ache lodged inside my throat that i don’t think will ever leave. at work today i served a mother and her daughter; mother’s eyes were tight with exhaustion, daughter’s were wide and solemn. the daughter is cute, talking to me in the confusing language of toddler, telling me how she always steps in the puddles in her garden in her peppa pig gumboots. i ask, “do you make a splash?” and she nods, the first hint of a grin sliding onto her face and god, you know when kids smile and it’s like the sun comes out?

later, her mother quips how it’s so frustrating to be raising her daughter alone. i tell her, “my mother raised me alone in the first few years of my life.” i tell her, “i have so much respect for her.”

she looks at me, sitting on the dusty floor of our shop, halfway through putting on her daughter’s shoe, and i see it. that look. and i know. it’s like this thing ingrained in me, this knowledge i learnt in my girlhood that’s travelled with me till today, this thing i still don’t have a name for.

the way this mother looks at me - it’s fatigued, fed-up, ready to fucking throw in the towel, all this hurt carried inside her that she can never properly let out. “how did she cope?” she asks me. that, i don’t have an answer for.

i try not to cry. it’s hard for me not to get teary eyed when i think about my own mother, what she’s done. the lengths she went through to get me safe. how she escaped from my father only for him to follow her halfway across the globe, to settle in and make it clear that he was never going to leave. but she kept going. she kept fighting. that kind of strength dumbfounds me.

i say something simple, personal, how my dad fucked my mum over too but in a different way, and it’s like this mum just cracks right open and she’s talking, telling me how her daughter’s father fled when she got pregnant, how she had to give up her entire life, her career, everything, to look after her child. 

this is one of the things i know of womanhood. this ache carried around in women’s hearts, this awareness of sacrifice that this mum had to make, that my mum made, that millions of mothers have made. and it’s not just motherhood, but something broader, less definable. a fight, maybe, but a slow one. one you see out of the corner of your eye but can never really focus on.

it’s a culmination of things. it’s being scared to walk alone at night. it’s those close calls you had when you were a kid and things could have gone so much worse. it’s being hurt by men. it’s men’s ignorance, men’s aggression. it’s figuring out how to keep yourself together while caring for the other women and girls around you. it’s struggling, thinking you’re barely keeping your head above the surface but really, anyone else can see your feet are flat against the water.

sacrifice. i come back to this word. for all my life, i’ve seen mothers and daughters and aunts and grandmothers going without to try to keep other women safe. maybe that’s womanhood. maybe not.

the kid in the store is proving that she can walk in the new shoes by running to the door and back three times and cackling with laughter. i’m still crouched down, knees burning because my joints are bad, and her mum’s still sitting on the floor, looking like she could sleep for a year and still wake up tired.

“she’s worth it, though,” i say to her, because what else is there to say? it’s the truth. this little girl was me, once. not too long ago. when the mum looks at her daughter, her face softens, becomes open, vulnerable, loving. it breaks my heart and mends within a second, like my heart doesn’t know what to feel.

“she is.”

I Love You - AntiSepticEye Imagine

wc: 1,645

prompt: "i love you with all my piece of shit, fucked up heart.“

requests: closed OPEN!

don’t forget to follow, reblog and like ♡

She had grown used to this feeling of absolute worthlessness and loneliness. It wasn’t new to feel unloved, for the thing she loved put her through hell and back on a daily basis. She knew loving him was a death sentence, but she craved the attention he gave her, and even if it wasn’t real love at least it felt like it sometimes.

The other times it was just a waiting game, see how long it took for him to show back up in her life and ruin all the progress that she had made trying to show herself that she didn’t need him. However, she did, and always caved when he opened up his arms with that grin. It filled her up with false hope that maybe he felt the same about her that she did about him, but as she sat here for the third day in a row alone, those hopes left her.

Wrapping the blanket around her tighter, she squeezed her eyes shut and mentally called out to him. She cried out his name, echoing in her brain that she prayed would call to his attention.

"You called, babydoll?” static filled the air as he stepped in front of her, unravelling her from the cocoon she had secured herself into, pulling her into his arms and holding her close to his chest.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered, nuzzling her face into his chest. He smelled of blood and felt tense, though he was gradually easing up every second he held his beloved to his chest.

“I know, and I’m sorry, doll,” he sighed, moving one hand up her back to slowly card her hair through his fingers. Every bit of stress drained from his body as he pressed his nose to her hair, inhaling the smell of his own shampoo in her hair. She smelled like every bit of familiarity he had left, like an anchor to the home he always felt was slipping away from him.

Meanwhile, he was everything wrong with her. He was so unfamiliar, pulling her away from everything she knew was safe and right, but at the same time he was everything she ever wanted. He offered her a sense of safety and security, she knew with him that he was the only thing that would ever be able to cause her harm in this world.

‘Where have you been, Anti?“ she choked out, tears filling her eyes, "where have you been for the past days?”

He knew that she didn’t really care where he had been, she just wanted to know why he was leaving her so often. This was one of the times she wanted him to lie to protect her from getting hurt, but he knew that there was a point where he just couldn’t do that anymore.

“I had a job, baby,” Anti’s voice was scratchy and like that of static, however it remained soft, “there was some work I had to take care of, some presences that I’ve had to meet up with. You know how the jobs can get…”

“I do know, but please just stop leaving me,” her voice was absolutely destroyed, for a moment it seemed to be holding up but suddenly it shattered like glass and she just began trembling violently, “I can’t keep living like this, Anti! I try so hard to get over you but then you come back in just when I think I’m getting better and then I just become this dependent mess and I just can’t fucking deal with it anymore!”

The girl was out of breath, her sentence dragging on so long that she had to pause before continuing. Of course, Anti was quick to respond, pushing her back from him while keeping his arms around her waist. He put a cold hand to her cheek, bright green eyes flickering like broken television screens as he tried to read his mess of a lover.

“Doll, breath,” he spoke, body seeming to shift out of place as he glitched in place. Anti seemed like nothing more than a nightmare, a computer virus-like demon that she had been so idiotic to fall in love with. His sweet talk and charm had lead her into a spider web of horror that he didn’t know he had spun.

Perhaps Anti had never meant anything of making her fall in love with him. He didn’t cause this, she had just blindly convinced herself that maybe she could change him for the better or teach the heartless how to love. How foolish, to think that anyone such as him could love her.

How foolish… to think anyone could love her.

“I don’t want to!” she spat back, too much on her mind to think of anything else, “I’m so helplessly in love with you and I can’t help but regret it, because I know you can’t love me back! I know you’re not capable of love, and I know it was fucking stupid of me to think that maybe I was different and maybe I could’ve changed you. I know that I’m no different from anyone that you’ve loved in the past, or maybe even if I am it’s just my unstable behavior. I’m so sorry for the shit I put you through because I just want you to love me back!”

The dark void that consumed the place where Anti’s heart throbbed, absorbing every word that had been thrown out at him. He felt powerless for once in his life, so completely broken down by the words of a hurting girl that he wanted nothing more than to protect.

Some long lost time ago in some long abandoned place, he made some long forgotten promise to a girl that he would protect her from all harm, not knowing that he was just shielding her from everything except for him.

He spoke her name, whispered it so softly and held her so gently so that he wouldn’t make her hurt anymore.

“I love you with all my piece of shit, fucked up heart.”

She didn’t speak, didn’t look at him, didn’t breath, just stared off out the window and listened to the static that surrounded him. It all felt so heavy, this weight baring down on her that she had grown numb to feeling pressure against. The hands and arms tangling her in a cold embrace were barely there, just enough pressure that she knew he was there but not enough to ground her.

He waited for her to say anything, waited for her to say that she loved him too or that she was finally leaving him. He waited for her to scream and lash out. He waited for anything, he was prepared for anything other than the silence that followed his statement. The way it was left hanging in the air, not accepted or denied, it taunted him and he knew that she knew this too.

For he was ready for the words that would eventually pour out of her mouth, he was ready for them to tear him down and make him sob even though he hadn’t felt emotions in a long time. Everything about this silly girl he loved made him feel things he didn’t even know he could. Such guilt and sadness flowed through him when he saw the tears that he caused, but he never did anything about it. He knew sorry didn’t mean anything if he kept doing it, but he kept saying empty promises in a desperate attempt to keep his love safe from getting hurt by him.

However, in an attempt to put her back together he ended up breaking her down. He knew it was getting too late to undo the pain he’d caused, but he would try if she let him. Even a monster like himself couldn’t bear to see those he loved in pain, it was too much for him to handle. The thought of the emotions that would come was almost as terrifying as the lack of it.

Until that wall of silence broke, and his beloved looked him in the eyes with this broken expression. She was smiling, but it was going to shatter if he even took a breath. Despite no longer crying, she looked as if she would completely break down again if he moved a single inch. So he stayed still, kept his eyes locked against hers and just listened for once in his life. He didn’t make an effort to console her, just watched as she closed her mouth and opened it once more to speak.

“You could break my heart into a million tiny pieces and I would just put them back into your hands.”

He wished the silence would come back, because now everything was deafening. Her heartbeat was pounding, a steady thump-thump-thump that held the only rhythm in the mess of sound around him. Thunder crashed from outside as rain forcefully hit the window. His own sound of static was drowned out by the sound of both of their breathing.

Anti pressed his forehead to hers, feeling her legs go weak under her so he pulled her body ever closer to his own. Her eyes stayed on his, dilated pupil consuming every bit of light that radiated off of his body and reflecting the intense pain she was feeling.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore, my love,” he whispered.

“But what if you do?” her voice betrayed her calm appearance.

“Teach me not to,” Anti pleaded, “please teach me how to keep you safe from myself.”

“I will,” she promised, blinking away tears, “if you promise me that you love me and won’t leave me.”

“I love you more all the stars in the sky, my love. I will never leave you again unless I have no choice, I promise you.”

“I love you too.”

medieval/ancient based plots i desperately need.

tw: abuse, rape mention, triggering topics in general.

  • muse a is the prince of (country) and muse b is the princess of (another allied country). muse b spent quite a bit of time in muse a’s kingdom during the war and the young couple began a picturesque romance. when muse b went back to her country they kept in touch with letters, writing to one another constantly since they were unable to see each other. unexpectedly muse b stops writing back to muse a. a few months later muse a and his family are invited to a grand wedding (in anther country), the king has found himself a new bride. upon arriving muse a finds out that the kings new bride is muse b. muse b’s father had arranged the marriage in exchange for an alliance, not caring that his daughter begged him not to go through with it. only after the wedding do muse b and muse a get a moment alone so muse b can explain what’s taken place.
    • possible addition: muse b’s new husband could be abusive or just a cruel king in general, maybe a significant age difference as well. 
  • muse a was a slave girl, most likely a love child of a brothel worker and a local traveler. around the age of 12-13 she was sold into slavery and used by men of status on a daily basis, never really knowing anything different. after a hefty number of years she’s on her own. (either she escaped, or they got tired of her - maybe have someone new, or someone in the palace who felt bad for her helped her escape, etc) she wanders the streets, sleeping when she can and where she can until she travels out of the city, only making it a mile or two before she collapses (exhaustion, hunger, thirst, etc) and muse b is traveling back to his home and comes across her. he brings her back to his home where she sleeps for quite a bit of time, finally waking up and unsure of where she is. muse b explains that he owns the land and found her on his way back from the city and wanted to help, muse b asks her if she has any place to go or where she’s from and she doesn’t have an answer. muse b starts to slowly understand where this girl came from, maybe she tells him in bits and pieces, maybe he sees bruises or scars… etc. long story short muse b takes care of muse a, letting her stay there, maybe letting her sleep in his bed, feeding her, and muse a starts to form an attachment to muse b since he’s the only person who’s ever really shown her kindness. 
    • this could remain platonic or spark into something more ‘love story’-ish.
  • based on the movie troy. muse a falls for the queen of another king, muse b. she’s beautiful, intelligent, she challenges him and she’s everything he’s ever wanted in a partner. muse b is married to an abusive & hateful man who she cannot fathom spending the rest of her life with. muse a proposes that muse b come back with him to his country and muse b agrees. muse a smuggles her back to his country and when muse b’s husband finds out he is furious. muse a wants to do everything to keep muse b with him but now muse b’s husband is threatening to start a war. muse b thinks it would be best to return home to save everyone the trouble of fighting in a war over her, but muse a doesn’t intend to let it happen.
  • muse a is a handmaiden for the queen/princess of (whatever country), and muse b is the king. muse b has always been fond of muse a, admiring her from afar. muse b is driven by pure lust one night and the two end up sharing a night together in his chambers. this happens time and time again until muse a believes she’s pregnant. muse b knows what could happen if anyone found out, so he tells her to keep it a secret, and so muse a agrees, knowing she doesn’t have much of a choice and she doesn’t want her child to be known as a bastard. muse a has the baby, telling everyone the father was a traveling merchant. muse b has his kingly duties, most likely has a queen and of course a country to rule but he cares for muse a and his child but all they have are secret and private moments together and that’ all they will ever have. 
    • just cute lil family moments where he sneaks off to see them and gets to see his kid and then be with her and just break my heart.

#this part destroyed me #like he probably wants alec to help #but he doesn’t know how #like not only was he executed #but his emotional state must me off the charts #and not only bc he was in the body of a psychopath #but bc he through the agony rune #his emotions on his mamma were unlocked #his mother who killed herself after she had found out that he was a warlock #bc he had demon blood #and she knew ever since his cat eyes first appeared #and that’s probably why he glamors his cat eyes #and that just breaks my heart #all that pain out in the open #like an open wound #and he doesn’t know how to react #let alone how to deal


The first thing Dex notices about Nursey is that he’s disgustingly gorgeous. The second is his tattoo.

The first thing Nursey notices, apparently, is that Dex has noticed. He hikes up his sleeve to give Dex a better look. “You like it?”

“Yeah,” Dex says, “it’s nice,” and it is, but that’s not why he’s looking. He’s heard of guys doing ink to embellish their soulmark, and, well, he has to wonder. Because Nursey is the best-looking guy Dex has ever seen, and because Dex’s soulmark lives in a similar place – high up on his own arm, wedged underneath so it can’t be seen unless Dex lifts his arm above his head. His heart thuds dully as he stares at Nursey’s ink and wonders if this could be it.

Then Nursey opens his mouth and breaks Dex’s heart.

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Bathroom Echoes

Stuart Twombly / Reader

Author: Me, myself and I.

Words:  1780

Warnings:  Fingering, penetrative sex [ unprotected, use a condom kids ]. Mentions spanking.

A/N: I wrote something similar to this on one of my other writing blogs [ which is deleted now ], but I ended up deleting it. I rewrote the whole thing and added so much more to it. The first one was just her giving him a blowjob but come on, just a blowjob? Gotta spice it up more. Also, note this might carry to a part two so look out for that. My next writing will hopefully be posted sometime this week, I do start school on Friday but we’ll see what happens! 

And holy shit, 50 new followers?! Hello, yes welcome, oh, my god. And we got 200+ likes on ‘Craving’ in just a week?! Um, what? Insane, insane, insane. Thank you, everyone, who read it, gave it a heart, reblogged it or even noticed it, and who clicked follow. This is all just mind blowing to me that my writings get read by so many people in a matter of days and give me feedback. I can’t thank you all enough. I love you all so much and stay tuned in for my next one. Hope you enjoy this as much as ‘Craving’. <3

[ Gif, never mine ]

I stroll into Google, carrying two cups of coffee and greeting people who bothered to glare at me. I make my way into this large office space with around thirty plus people typing away on their computers. Notice my boyfriend at his desk and run up to him, leaning down behind me and placing a wet smooch on his cheek. 

“Hey, babe.” I grin putting the coffees down on his workspace.

“Hey, bumble.” He half smiles calling me by my nickname from when we were kids.

Stuart and I’ve been dating for a while now, a little over a year, we’ve known each other since high school. We never talked to each other until he asked me to prom. Of course, I said yes and we hit it off from there. Our sex life is great, I mean I can’t complain, we try to have sex once every week but It isn’t enough. I thought once a week was fine but lately, I’ve been wanting more.

I grab an empty wheelie chair, identic to Stuarts and sit down next to him. He turns back around to the computer and continues to work as I push his cup closer towards him.

“Thanks for the coffee.” He picks it up, taking a sip and pursing his lips together.

He places the cup back down and continues to type away like everybody else in this room. Signing, I lean my elbow on the table with my chin in my hand, studying those eyes I love with the computer screen reflecting onto them. Thinking of all the things I want to do to him, making myself tingle all over and chew my lip. He notices as his eyes dart to me for a second and back to the machine.

“Hey, Stuart… Would you want to do something after work or maybe right now?” 

“Like what?“ He turns his head, scanning me up and down.

I stand up, fixing my dress and walking behind him as his eyes follow. Gripping his shoulders and leaning down, gliding my lip up his ear.

"Like skin on skin.” I whisper, softly giggling as he shifts in his seat.

“Right now? Babe, not here. Maybe later tonight.”

I groan moving back to my chair and flopping down, picking up a pen off his desk and fiddling with it.

“Hey, Stuart.” A slim, tall blonde approaches him, rubbing his shoulder and my eye slightly twitching with jealousy. 

"Oh hey, Kaley.“ Stuart smiles looking up at her.

Her eyes meet mine and that smug look flies right off.

"Who’s this? Your new assistant?" 

"This is my-” Instantly cutting him off and standing up tall, trying to get to her height while punching the wood aside of me.

“His girlfriend.” I growl.

“Oh, feisty. Need to put some chains on her.” She smirks crossing her arms, giving me nasty looks as her eyes travel up and down my body.

“Trust me, he already does.” Stepping forward to her as Stuart hastily gets between us, holding me back.

“Hey, babe, come on now quite it.”

“Yeah, quite it psycho.” She scoffs giving me a wink and strutting away.

“Son of a bi-”

“Hey! Calm down alright? What’s your problem?” Stuart cuts me off holding my forearm.

“My problem?! What hell is your problem?! Letting her touch you and feel you up! Are you kidding me?!” I snap throwing his hand off me.

“Babe, can you not create a scene here, please?”

“Create a scene? Am I embarrassing you?”

Stuart signs loudly and grabs my arm, pulling me along with him. 

“I’m not the one creating the sence! She is!” Everyone’s eyes glued on us as I continue to shout.

He opens a large door and drags me inside as the lights flicker on by themselves. A clean, one toilet bathroom.

“Not to mention that perfect bitch called me a psycho! Like what kind of person would-” Stuart’s hands hold each side of my face and crashes his lips onto mine.

I hum falling into it, closing my eyes as my hands find a spot to rest on his chest, heart rising. The kiss breaks and I open my eyes slowly to him staring at me. We take a moment, taking each other’s features in and feeling his breath against my lips.


“Shut up.” I mumble gripping the collar of his shirt and smashing our lips together as our teeth collide.

Sweeping my tongue across his lip and into his mouth while his hands explore down my back, to my ass and getting a good grip on it. I groan, sending the vibration through both of us as our tongues dance together. My hands hooking into his belt and grinding my whole body against him. His hand moves down up my inner thigh, taking my dress with him and touches his hand up my soaking panties, feeling his smirk on my lips. Slipping his hand in my panties, running his finger along my slit and into me. I gasp, gripping his forearm as he teases me, taking his finger out, back up my slit, stopping before he hits my clit and back down inside me. I pull out the kiss, biting his bottom lip with a growl as his eyes match mine and his finger slowly pumping in and out of me. He licks his lips darting his eyes down at his hand movements and back up to my eyes as soft moans escape my lips. My hand snakes around his neck, pulling him close as his finger curving in a way made me crazy, I yell his name, digging my nails into his skin. My head falls back, panting as his mouth latches on my throat, sucking roughly but yet so sweet. He walks me backward until my ass hits the sink, gripping onto it as he lifts me up on the edge, my back pressed against the cold mirror. His hand leaves where I need him most and he swiftly slips my panties off and continues pumping two fingers in me as my lingerie hands around my ankle. I cup his throbbing erection through his jeans, struggling to undo his belt not quick enough, my body begins to come apart. His fingers moving faster and his thumb pressed against my clit, getting a tight pinch in my abdomen and my legs start shaking, body trembling.

“Stuart!” I scream clenching around his fingers, arching my back and flinching as he continues to touch my bundle of nerves.

Panting heavily as his hand pulls away, coated in my juices. My eyes follow his hand as it leads up to his face, sucking his fingers dry causing me to shudder. 

“You’re so hot screaming my name.” He mutters as I  pull him closer and connecting our lips.

My hands move to his belt and down with his boxers. His dick springs free as I wrap my hand around him, stroking him firmly causing him to groan and escape the kiss. I bite back a smirk, tapping my finger over his precum as he signs loudly and sucking my finger while humming, loving the taste of him. 

“I- I don’t have a condom on me.” He whispers somewhat breathlessly.

“That’s alright, you can just pull out.” I giggle running my wet finger up along his shaft as his hips buck.

He grasps sink underneath me, pushes himself all the way in as both of us sign at the feeling and I adjust to his size.

“Stuart, move.” Giving him the ‘okay’, he starts to thrust, creating a speedy pace.

I wrap my hands around his neck, tugging the hairs as my hips roll into each thrust with his eyes locked down on my movements.

“Faster.” I whimper.

With those words, he looks up to me to double check and I nod. He starts to slam into me quicker than before, rough just how I like it. Moaning between each thrust as he leans close to me, breathing heavily against my neck, moving as humanly possible. I pull on the back of his shirt, twisting into a fist as his hand pushes my thigh back and my body was about to slip.

“Stuart-” He cuts me off grabbing underneath my thighs and settling my feet back on the ground.

My legs weak as I turn around, bending down in front of him, practically waving my ass in his face. He pushes my dress up and his strong hands grope my ass as he pushes his dick back in. Moving painfully slow as I grip the sink, thinking as though I would break it. His hand moves to grip my hip and a hard slap lands on my cheek causing me to flinch. I hum, biting down on my lip as he stops moving, just standing there, enjoying the view. Becoming impatient I move onto his dick, moaning at the new angle. His grip on tightens, and he pounds into me suddenly fast as I scream. Taking a bunch my hair, pulling my head back as I notice him in the mirror, biting his lip, eyebrows furrowing, and his nose and cheeks red. Hitting all the right spots as he caresses my ass and lands another hard slap making me yelp. The sounds of pleasure and skin slapping skin, echoes throughout the tiled walling. I get a tight familiar feeling in my abdomen as my toes curl in my shoes, screaming his name and clenching around him. I see stars and my body begins to feel weak again as I almost fall he wraps his arm around my middle, holding me up. He slows down his rhythm, letting go of my hair and pulls out, cumming all over my ass, moaning. I breathe heavily as he pulls his pants up and grabbing some toilet paper, whipping my ass and helping me stand up straight.

“You alright?” He smiles looking me in the mirror.

I nod my head and he throws the paper away, flushing in down the toilet as I pull up my panties and fix my hair. He hugs me from behind, leaning his chin on my shoulder smiling happily. We make our way to the door and open to see everyone eyes on us as I swallow thickly.

“I think they heard us.” Stuart whispers in my ear.

I look around and spot that tall blonde from before, staring also with an awful expression. A smirk stretches across my face and I flick my hair back, strutting my way down the office.

“That’s right, he’s mine. Not yours.”

Bad Girl Ch 18: Home

Kris’s POV

My hands are shaking, I don’t know why, I’ve done this before. But  at the same I know this isn’t just my baby clicking her heels down the hall, it is Kim Jooyoung, a full grown woman. I’ve handled full grown woman, but never any that I’ve cared about. I have never been shaking with so much fear that I could say the wrong thing and drive her away. What if she hates me? My heart drops, I can’t handle that.

“Daddy?” Her sweet voice pulls me out of the black hole of fear I found myself in.

I snap out of my daze and stare at her with wide eyes. My sweet baby only reaches my chest even in her heels, her small frame looks amazing in a dark red two piece outfit. The skirt is flowing back as she continues her way toward me, the high slit giving me peeks at her slim legs. A gold body chain is peek out of the bottom of her high collared crop top that ends an inch or two above the skirt. My eyes continue their way up, noticing the large golden earrings hanging on either side of her beautiful face. Full lips that match the same color as the dress form a small pout when I don’t respond. Those forest green eyes are accented in gold eye shadow and black eyeliner that look like Baek’s doing, are staring at me with concern.

“Daddy?” She grips my hand and squeezes it tight.

“Sorry!” I quickly apologize, “You are just so beautiful.”

She flushes, “Daddy, stop.”

“Are you ready to go? Do you want to drive again?”

She shakes her head, “I can just type the address into your GPS.” I watch mindlessly as she takes my hand and leads me out to where my car is parked in front of the house. I open her door for her before climbing in the drivers side. She is already typing the location in, humming some song to herself. It’s a strangely familiar song, not one that I can place but puts me on edge.

“What song is that?” I wonder, pulling out of the driveway and following the directions given.

“Jiho hums it for me all the time, he told me he doesn’t know.”

I nod, “I feel like I know if from somewhere.”

“I do too but can never place it.”

“So where are we headed on this adventure? Another hot spring?”

“Nope, we are going to dinner, like you always wanted.”

“Please don’t tell me we are going to one of Jiyong’s places,” I groan.

She chuckles and once again shakes her head, “Nope, mine.”

I raise my brows at that, “Yours’?”

“You don’t honestly think I just live off Jiyong’s income do you? I’m a big girl, I make my own money, have my own businesses.”

I whistle, “Look at you, such a big girl.”

We make small talk for awhile until we arrive at her restaurant. It’s a small place on the beach with lanterns outside that lead the way up the double door way. A man is there holding the door open, he bows a full 90 degrees before greeting us, “Welcome Madame Jooyoung and her guest.” I scan the man, he isn’t much shorter than me with circular sunglasses and an emotionless face.

“Good evening Zion, how are you tonight?” Jooyoung muses with a smile.

“I am happy I can be of service to you tonight. It has been too long since you’ve come to visit.”

“I know I’m sorry, I’ve been really busy lately.”

“You are here now, that is all that matters,” A genuine smile graces his face, though it is small. “Your table is set up on the back porch, would you like me to escort you there?”

She shakes her head, “I can lead the way, thank you though. You can go back to the kitchen.” He nods before turning and returning to wherever he came from.

“Who is that? The host?”

“He’s the chef.”

“No offence Baby but your place is pretty empty at the moment.”

She chuckles, “You guys aren’t the only ones who can close things down for a night. I sent everyone home except for him so we could be alone.”

I gulp. This is all I’ve ever wanted. Just single night alone, completely alone where my brothers weren’t sneaking around trying to steal her attention. But yet again I find my hands trembling. She leads me through the beautiful yet simple restaurant and out on to the patio where we see the sun almost completely setting. Heating lamps are set up around one table that is set just for us. I pullout her chair for her before taking my seat across from her.

“Are you okay Daddy?” She asks in a sweet voice. “You aren’t talking much. Did you not want to go out?”

“I did! I’m sorry, I’m just… nervous,” I admit looking down at my hands.

“Nervous?” She echoes, “You’re nervous? Why? I’ve been shaking in my booties this whole time thinking you hate me and this whole idea.” She lets out a sigh of relief.

“I could never hate you,” I remind her. There is no way I could ever feel anything but love for the pretty little princess in front of me, how could she ever think different.

“You might not hate me but I know me being big isn’t your favorite thing.”

My heart breaks, my hand reaches out for her small one and holds, it tight, “I’m sorry for ever making you feel like I don’t love all of you.”

“If it makes you feel any better it isn’t just you, I saw it in Xiumin’s eyes too, and Luhan, and Suho. It’s you older folk you seem to have an issue,” She chuckles and smiles but I can see the heart break in it.

I open my mouth to explain but nothing comes out. Guilt is settled deep in my chest leaving no room for the words I need. I’m the person who made her look so sad, who made it a little harder for her to smile, how the hell could I do this to her?

When I don’t respond she looks away as if she is ashamed, “I’m sorry, lets not talk about that.” She chuckles awkwardly.

“No! Lets talk about it! I’m… I’m sorry!” That seems to be all I can get out, “I’m so sorry!”

To make this situation worse the man from before appears with to heavy looking plates in his hands. He freezes a few feet from the table and looks to Jooyoung on what he should do. She just gestures for him to continue with a fake smile plastered on her face. After doing so he leans closer to her and whispers in her ear, giving me quick side glances.

“Thank you Zion but it’s okay, you can go now, I appreciate you staying late. Have a good night.”

He looks hesitant to go but when she shoos him away gently he finally obeys. When he is out of sight I can’t help but ask, “What did he whisper to you?”

“He wanted to know if it was safe for him to leave me here with you alone.”

I grimace, “Who the hell does he think he is?”

She chuckles, “He is just worried, it’s not often I go out by myself like this.”

“You are with me,” I mumble holding her small hand.

“But he doesn’t know you, he honestly doesn’t even trust Jiyong that much. The few times I’ve come here with Jiyong those two have bumped chests.”

“So who does he trust?”

“Jiho and my other dongseangs, people under me like him.”

“Jiyong’s little thugs?”

She smiles, “They are my little thugs now.”

Mentioning foot soldiers brings something to mind, “Have you had a run in with our dongseangs?”

She seems completely thrown off by the question, “What?”

“Jin and his boys? You were close before and I’m guessing they heard the same story as us so did you have any kind of run ins with them?”

“Once,” She admits. “It was my first night out after the whole thing and Jiyong took me to a party where I saw Namjoon from across the room. We locked eyes and I smiled, I wasn’t sure if my bridges were burned with them too but after he gave a dirty look I went with yes. After that they stopped coming to parties, I had people keeping tabs on them so I know what they are up to.”

“When are you going to tell them you are alive? What about Jihyo?”

She sighs, “I want to wait a little while. I have so much going on with you guys and work that I don’t think I can add them into the mix right now. But once we get everything figured out I plan on letting them all know.”

“And your family? They had a funeral and everything.”

For that she just shrugs, “Why ruin their now peaceful lives with my craziness? It’s not like the miss me much anyway.”

The conversation seems to end there. She tells me to try the food but I’m too focused on her, I can’t even think about anything else. I feel like I’m killing th mood with all these questions, this isn’t what I should be doing with my small amount of time with her. Who knows when I could get this again, I can’t waste it on other people.

“When I was younger I used to think that if you opened the oven before the timer went off it would explode.”

She stops moving her fork around and looks up at me with a small smile.

“Like I was honestly horrified when our nanny would try and peek to see if the food was done. One time I actually through myself in front of the over door so she couldn’t open.”

Now she’s laughing, that beautiful smile returns lifting the weight off my heart a bit, “I thought for the longest time that I was adopted from a fictional alien character because of how different I was from my family. I remember screaming at my mom that I she wasn’t my mom and that my real family will come back for me by the time I’m eighteen. Fate threw that back at me, you guys found me just in time.”

“I’m sorry we aren’t aliens.”

“Yea, I expected more, but I guess this is going to have to do.”

We laugh. We talk more about our childhoods, silly stories about one another and my brothers, I didn’t want to talk about them but she asked and who am I to deny her. Time flies by as we talk and sometimes just listen to the waves crash up on the shore. By ten we are sitting side by side near the edge of the patio with the heating lamps hanging over us and my jacket around her. She is giggling about some stupid joke Baekhyun had told us at home that has me rolling my eyes. Her love for that stupid boy is beyond me.

Out of the corner of my eye I see someone down on the beach near the restaurant’s steps that lead down there. I glare down at the figure as I try to figure out who it is, is it the man from before, Zion? No he was thin, this man looks more built and more familiar. Joo notices me staring a follows my gaze.

“So he did follow us.”


Jooyoung’s POV

“Who the hell is it?” Kris snaps.

“Jiho, I told you I don’t go out by myself.” I muse.

“How did he find us? How long do you think he’s been here?”

“I’m guessing Zion called him right when we showed up, and probably a good amount of the time. He has probably been hiding on the little gazebo down there.”

He pouts, “Get rid of him.”

I chuckle but stand up to do so, “I’ll tell him we are okay.”

“Can’t you just give him the finger to fuck off?”

“I’ll be right back, don’t worry,” I squeeze our inter locked hands before letting go and wandering in the direction of the stairs that lead down to the beach. The  three flights of stairs lead me to where I saw him standing a moment before but now he is gone.

“Pretty bird,” He whistles from the bench swing in the gazebo, exactly where I expected him to be. I wrap Kris’s jacket tighter around me before join him on the swing. “Hello Pretty bird.”

“Hello my guard dog,” I muse, “what in the world are you doing here? This is your weekend off.”

“There is no such thing as a day off when you aren’t at home.”

“I’m safe here with Kris, you can go home.”

“I don’t trust those boys. Plus I don’t want to go home. I’ve been stuck in there for just a day and I’m going out of my mind with boredom. You need to come home. We will see each other tomorrow morning as I remember for work.”

He doesn’t respond, we just continue to swing.

I chuckle, “Some one misses me.”

He glares at me, “Of course I miss you. The only other person I can talk to in the building is Jiyong and that is just depressing. Cause all we want to talk about is you and he just gets sad.”

“I feel bad.”

“Don’t, just come home.”