this one's for you ed

anonymous asked:

its not like you're out here pontificating lol someone literally came to you and asked you for your own advice......... not to mention that the whole "how i perceive myself and how i perceive others are totally different things" thing is kind of a gigantic part of EDs so why WOULDNT you be just as capable of giving good advice as someone who knows about EDs but hasnt had one themselves??? ugh

Thank you <3

I was especially frustrated because I actually would do what I said in the message and am making a lot of hard but necessary choices right now every damn day, but discussing that in a response was tangential to the point.  People who see you online don’t know nearly as much as they think they do about your daily life, but again that’s not what was important to convey.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.
Move on, leave, run away, escape this place… but don’t forget about me, about us, about this town. Always remember where you come from so you can appreciate how far you’ve come.
—  c.j.n.