this one's for sarah because i finally got around to giffing it

Buffy moments that made me cry

Oi! This post contains spoilers, read at your own risk or whatever.

So, this is gonna be a fun, happy time. 

Sike, because I’m gonna crush your hearts. And keep you here for a long time, because damn is this long. It’s important to understand that, when making this list, I was going off of memory so that could be a reason as to why not every terribly sad scene is in here. Another reason a scene could be left off is because I don’t like certain characters, so their sad moments didn’t cause me to emotionally explode like these did. For example, I’m not a huge fan of Faith, Joyce, Dawn, or Riley. I like them all, but I wasn’t invested enough in them as characters to warrant their hard times breaking my soul. Make sense?

Also, you will notice a common theme here, and if you’ve been following me for a while, this will come as no surprise (and neither will me talking about scenes I’ve already talked excessively about a million times): Spike, Spike, Spuffy, Spike. Spike is my all time favorite character from any show. So, it stands to reason that I feel his pains and woes more heavily than the other characters. Building on that, Spuffy is my ultimate ship. Ergo…you get it. In fact, most of this post will be about Spike, Spuffy, Twillow, and Xanya (is that their ship name?). You’re probably tired of hearing about the same scenes everyone (me) talks about, for example, a lot of the stuff from S7. And honestly, I’m getting a little tired of talking about them, but this list wouldn’t be complete without it, so bear with me.

So, I’m also gonna rate these by level of tears and soul-breakage (whether for happy or sad reasons). A scale of 1 to 5. Allow me to demonstrate with Dean Winchester gifs. 

1 - Prickly eyes, very deep feeling of sadness

2 - Eyes brimmed with tears about to spill over

3 - Tears fall

4 - Tears won’t stop falling

5 - All hope of composure is lost

Fair warning: there are only two 5s on here. So. And keep in mind that a 1 doesn’t mean it’s a bad scene. Think of 1s as very good scenes and 5s as mind-blowing, fuck me up scenes. Also, they’re just how I reacted. I know some of these hit harder with some or fell flat with others. And of course, there’s other scenes that were very sad to watch but didn’t quite make me tear up. For example, when Willow first sees that Glory took away Tara’s sanity or when Spike tells Buffy he’d risk his life to go after someone that hurt her. Okay, let’s get into it.

Okay, before the Buffy, I want to start with a few scenes from Angel that really got me. Not a lot in Angel did get me because I wasn’t as invested in it, but these were hard. 

Doyle dies

The episode: “Hero” 

My rating: 1/5

The moment: There’s a magical bomb about to explode so, Doyle decides to sacrifice himself to save everyone.

Why I cried: Doyle is one of the few characters on Angel that I had a really protective attitude with. Much like I did with early seasons Willow or with Tara, sort of just a sweet character that I want to keep safe. So, because we see Doyle struggle since the beginning with his identity as half-demon, this heroic last act means so much for his story. Not to mention, his last goodbyes with Angel and Cordelia were very heartfelt and sad.

Buffy forgets Human!Angel

The episode: “I Will Remember You”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Angel had become human for this episode and was able to spend a whole day with Buffy, consequence free. However, realizing he couldn’t protect the world as a human, he opted to erase the previous day. This moment is Angel explaining to Buffy that only he would remember their day together.

Why I cried: This scene got me for a number of reasons. One of the primary reasons is the behind the scenes information surrounding it. Sarah couldn’t hold herself together, David whispered her name (that you can hear in the scene) to calm her. That proves the power of this moment. Additionally, understanding that Angel will have the bear the memory of this day, cut me pretty deep. So did seeing Buffy so broken and panicked. All together, a gut-wrenching scene.

Fred dies

The episode: “A Hole in the World”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: Fred has a run in with an ancient coffin containing the Old One, Illyria. She kills Fred by cooking her organs, causing her to slowly fade away while being watched over by Wesley, her current love. 

Why I cried: Fred is another one of those pure characters that doesn’t deserve the fate she receives. Wesley and Fred spend so long dancing around each other, being with other people before finally connecting…only to have it violently ripped away from them. Requited love resulting in immediate tragedy is something Joss Whedon is a master of, and this certainly isn’t the last example on this list.

Wesley dies

The episode: “Not Fade Away”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: Wesley fights his final battle for Angel and the greater good, resulting in a serious wound that took his life. In his final moments, Illyria transforms herself into Fred to give Wes peace as he dies.

Why I cried: Honestly, the main thought running through my mind with this scene is that Wes and Fred will finally be together. His end is bittersweet for me, as he struggled so much in Angel. Adding on to this, seeing Fred weep over Wesley and knowing that it was equal parts Fred and Illyria feeling grief for him hits home as much as anything else. 

Okay, that’s Angel done. As I said, I wasn’t as invested so I don’t remember all the intense scenes, for one, and I also didn’t care about the story as much in general. Let’s move on to Buffy.

Buffy quits

The episode: “Prophecy Girl”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Buffy overhears Angel and Giles discussing the prophecy that Buffy is to die if she faces the Master. She makes her presence known and decides to quit her role as Slayer because she’s afraid of dying.

Why I cried: This is the first time we see Buffy terrified of anything. Really terrified. And understandably so. I think the thing about this scene that gets me the most is that Buffy is supposed to be this tough girl, not afraid of anything, least of all dying. Which is quite unfair to ask of anyone. So here, we see the rational reaction to dying that we don’t expect her to have. Hearing her tell Giles that she’s sixteen and doesn’t want to die is almost shocking because she’s right, but that’s something we don’t totally register before this scene. And it’s almost made sadder by the fact that we know she doesn’t really have the choice to walk away from her calling. No matter how hard she fights, it doesn’t matter.

Buffy and Giles cry together

The episode: “Passion”

My rating: 1/5

The moment: Right after Giles goes after Angelus for killing Jenny, Buffy pulls him out of the burning factory and screams at him for risking his life.

Why I cried: It’s just the combination of knowing Giles’ pain is so real and seeing Buffy’s fear of losing him. Giles, being a Watcher, hadn’t really had the opportunity to live a life outside of books and Slayers. Jenny was his chance to do that, and he lost her. He lost her right after he’d decided to take her back after the whole Angel/Angelus debacle. Remember that requited love turns to tragedy thing? On top of that, it isn’t often we see Buffy express her affection for Giles. This rare moment of vulnerability, for both of them, makes this scene crushing.

Buffy kills Angel

The episode: “Becoming: Part 2″

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Buffy resigns herself to killing Angelus, as it appears they won’t be able to ensoul him, and he plans to release Acathla and destroy the world. At the last moment, after the door to Hell is opened, Angel regains his soul. Unfortunately, the only way to close the portal is to the kill the one who opened it. Buffy, then, is forced to kill her love.

Why I cried: The acting. That’s what it is. Other than the fact that it’s terribly tragic that they have to lose each other after so long apart,–*coughs* requited love–it’s just the fact that I can see it all on their faces. And Angel is so confused by what’s happening, and Buffy doesn’t explain. She just says goodbye, a goodbye cloaked in loving words. And then Angel’s confusion turns to shock, and Buffy’s expression of responsibility overrun with pain…it’s all a part of why this scene is so, so sad.

Buffy cries in Willow’s lap

The episode: “The Prom”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Just after Angel breaks up with her, Buffy confides in Willow. She conveys that she’s trying to keep from dying, that she feels like she can’t breathe. Willow holds her head in her lap while she cries.

Why I cried: On a personal note, for me and I’m sure many others, this spoke to me. It related almost exactly to one of my break-ups in the past. Because of that, it was more than just watching these characters bleed and cry on TV and trying to understand it. This, I did understand. And it hurts. And seeing our hero weep like this over something so…mundane…that’s pain.

Willow and Oz break up

The episode: “Wild at Heart”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Oz has made the decision, after a few nights with a fellow werewolf, that he will leave Sunnydale to try and tame the beast inside of him. As a result, he has to initiate a painful goodbye with the woman he loves.

Why I cried: This is the ever-present struggle with relationships. You want to be together, you want to be with them, but when it comes down to it, sometimes you need to take care of you. And that’s a tough choice to make. The thing about this scene is that neither of them fell out of love with the other (despite Willow asking Oz if he had). Oz had to tear himself away from the one thing he’d loved all his life so that he could better himself. Which means, for me anyway, that you can’t blame Oz. And an ending relationship where neither party is to blame, well that’s a hard blow. 

Oz’s final goodbye

The episode: “New Moon Rising”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Oz returns to Sunnydale, hoping to reignite his flame with Willow. Upon returning, he realizes that Willow has fallen in love with someone else–Tara. In his final scene, he says a tearful and final goodbye to Willow.

Why I cried: You know that feeling when you’re watching something and you just know that this is the end for a character? Like, you feel the deep sorrow that this is the last you’ll see of them? That’s what I was feeling. And I’m sure that’s what Willow was feeling. Because Oz didn’t fall out of love with her, it’s saddening to see him so wilted because he wasn’t able to get back together with Willow. But at the same time, it’s amazing to see how understanding and caring he is regarding Willow’s love for another person. Happy goodbyes can be just as tearful as the sad ones.

Willow chooses Tara

The episode: “New Moon Rising”

My rating: 1/5

The moment: After leaving Oz, Willow goes to Tara’s dorm room. Tara worries that Willow is coming to tell her she’s chosen Oz. She assures Willow that she should be with the one she loves, to which Willow replies, “I am.”

Why I cried: Oh my goodness. Tara is just so happy in this moment. And so is Willow. After all the confusion, after all the concern and tiptoeing and worry, Willow and Tara finally choose each other.

The gang defends Tara  

The episode: “Family”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Tara’s family comes to take her home because they claim (falsely) that she is part demon. She’s prepared to leave to spare her friends the shame of knowing her. In a twist, the Scoobies–even Spike, to an extent–defend Tara and protect her against her family.

Why I cried: This is the first time Tara is ever officially welcomed into the unofficial family of the Scoobies. And we get to see characters come to her defense, not because she’s connected to Willow, but because she’s connected to all of them. It’s a very warm family moment that gives me the warm fuzzies.

Spike comforts Buffy 

The episode: “Fool for Love”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: After a long night at each other’s throats, Spike vows to kill Buffy despite the complication of the behavior chip. Upon arriving at her house, Spike finds Buffy crying because of her mother’s worsening illness, a fact unbeknownst to him. He asks what’s wrong, if there’s anything he can do and ends up sitting silently with her in the moment.

Why I cried: Why would I cry so much over such a small thing? Well, because of the little things. Spike looks…curious. Instead of this big, swanky, know-it-all vampire, Spike is intrigued and curious concerning Buffy and how he feels about her. It’s almost like Buffy is this magical, foreign creature that he can’t look away from lest it run away, never to be seen again. And when he pats her back, he’s so gentle with her, somehow understanding what she needs without knowing the situation. And it helps. You can see Buffy’s face, see that she’s comforted to have someone to be with her there. It’s a very serene, tender moment.

Buffy finds her mom dead  

The episode: “The Body”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Buffy comes home to find Joyce lying on the couch, dead. In a panic, she calls 911. After that, she calls Giles. All the while, moving from confusion to alarm to shock.

Why I cried: This is a very real reaction to death. Especially the death of a close loved one. And it’s very strange for us to see Buffy this shattered, even with all the pain she’s gone through before this moment. It’s a hard scene to pick at, but we feel the same sort of surreal blankness that Buffy does.

Buffy tells Dawn about Joyce  

The episode: “The Body”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Buffy goes to Dawn’s school to tell her about their mother’s death.

Why I cried: It’s just…I didn’t and don’t care for Dawn very much…so that alone should tell you why this scene made the list. Seeing her that sorrowful and knowing that she still feels, if only in this case, like a little girl that still needs her mommy…it makes this scene heartbreaking.

Willow and Tara embrace

The episode: “The Body”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Willow worries over what she should wear to the hospital to meet Buffy and Dawn. Her sadness and cries escalate until Tara goes to her, and they share their first (on-screen) kiss.

Why I cried: For one, it’s a good reminder that Joyce touched more people’s lives than Buffy’s and Dawn’s. Also, it’s a good moment for us to be there with Willow and Tara and feel their love and compassion. Just the way that they hold each other and breathe into each other’s embrace…it’s beautiful. 

Anya asking why Joyce died

The episode: “The Body”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: Tensions raise between Willow and Anya, as Anya doesn’t completely understand the actions taken by humans when a loved one dies. Anya soon breaks down and exclaims that the mortality of humans is nonsensical and stupid.

Why I cried: Anya is meant to be this confused, blunt, and uninformed character that never really grasps the spectrum of human emotions and mannerisms. But here’s the thing: in her ramblings about the stupidity of death and her confusion over why Joyce had to die, she makes the most sense of all. The beauty of her confusion and bluntness and uninformed nature is that she hits on the exact thought that everyone has when someone passes on: why? 

Buffy cries with Dawn 

The episode: “Forever”

My rating: 1/5

The moment: After Buffy stops Dawn from resurrecting their mother, she hears a knock on the door and runs to it, hoping it’s her mother. Dawn tears the photo of Joyce up that was used to bring her back in the first place, cancelling the spell. Realizing that they are truly on their own now, the two break down in front of the door and cry openly together.

Why I cried: It’s some of the first common ground we see with the two of them, especially since Joyce’s death. It’s horrible yet heartwarming to see Buffy and Dawn, at least for the time being, come together as sisters.

“I know you’ll never love me.”

The episode: “The Gift”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Spike and Buffy return to her house to pick up some weapons for their fight against Glory. Upon arriving, Spike offers to take the weapons over the threshold, having been locked out of Buffy’s house previously. Buffy invites him in for the second time and tells Spike she’s counting on him to protect Dawn. He replies that he will–“’til the end of the world,” even if he dies doing so. He then tells her that, even though he knows she’ll never love him, he’s grateful that she treats him like a man.

Why I cried: Oh my God, so many reasons. From the top, Spike’s willingness to cooperate with Buffy’s wishes to stay out of her house and then Buffy’s subsequent invitation to enter back in says volumes about how far they’ve come in such a short time. Spike’s facial expression when she invites him back in began the trail of tears for me. When Spike proclaims he will protect Dawn “’til the end of the world,” that solidified the notion that he’d really changed, which overwhelmed me with emotion. And finally, when Spike says “I know you’ll never love me. I know that I’m a monster, but you treat me like a man and that’s…” That moment really touches me, firstly, because of the respect you can see on Buffy’s face. Whether or not she even likes Spike, she respects him now, after it all. Secondly, Spike is expecting to die. Whether by himself or alongside everyone, he’s expecting that this night is the end for him. And his final words to Buffy tell her: it’s alright that you don’t love me, I’m just happy to be in your life. He doesn’t try and convince her one last time, doesn’t try and persuade her. He’s a complete gentleman, and that’s the best part.

Willow finds Tara 

The episode: “The Gift”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Willow is finally able to get Tara back after so long without her because of Glory’s magic keeping Tara from being in control of her own mind. In a rush of joy, the two embrace, Willow telling a previously lost Tara that she’ll always find her.

Why I cried: The happiest tears come from this scene. Can you imagine being separated from your true love for so long without ever actually being physically apart from them? Having to see them every single day struggling against their own mind? That must be the hardest fate you could have. But Willow stuck with Tara, and it paid off in the end. The found each other in one of the happiest moments of the show’s run. 

Spike sees Buffy dead

The episode: “The Gift”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: After a long and hard fight against Glory, Buffy sacrifices herself to close the portal opened up by Summers blood. Her friends and family show varying signs of grief for their loss.

Why I cried: So, Willow and Spike had the two strongest reactions to seeing Buffy dead. Dawn was crying, but she’d already talked to Buffy and knew she would be dead when she reached the bottom of the tower. Anya was blank, seemingly because Buffy dying was almost expected. Xander and Giles showed emotion–sadness–but didn’t cry. Willow and Spike were sobbing. But why does specifically Spike make me cry? Two reasons. First: Willow is known to be very sensitive, so it’s expected that she’d break down immediately and not need time to register that Buffy had died. She went instantly to grief. Spike is known to be sensitive as well, being a poet and often shedding a tear when Buffy rejects him. But this. Spike doesn’t do this. He doesn’t absolutely break. His body doesn’t heave and convulse with sobs and sorrow. The reason Spike reacted so violently leads into my second reason, a reason James Marsters himself has stated: Buffy wasn’t just a loved one; she was his only loved one. The only person he had. That’s why what I said earlier on comes into play: Spike expected to die alone or die with everyone. He never expected to be left alone in a world without Buffy. Never. 

“Be brave. Live. For me.”

The episode: “The Gift”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: As Buffy is preparing to sacrifice herself to save the world, she gives her little sister, Dawn, some final words of advice to live on with after she’s gone.

Why I cried: I think it’s safe to say that this scene is one of the most remembered scenes from Buffy. And rightfully so. The reason I found this scene to be tear-inducing isn’t because Buffy is leaving her little sister or even because she’s dying willingly not only to save the world but to save herself from life. The reason this scene is so powerful is because it speaks to everyone. It tells everyone that they can be strong and live in a world so prone to kicking us when we’re down. It tells us that we can all choose to be like Buffy–a warrior. So, when I watch this scene, Buffy is speaking to me. And hearing something like that come from one of my greatest heroes, that’s a dream come true.

Spike sees Buffy alive 

The episode: “After Life”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Spike storms into the Summers home, frantic to see if Dawn made it home safely. After scolding her for running off previously, Dawn draws his attention to a newly resurrected Buffy walking down the stairs. 

Why I cried: Two words to describe his expression: shocked and elated. It is so phenomenal the amount of emotion communicated through Spike’s eyes here. As soon as he sees her, you can see so many things pass over his face. Joy, disbelief, the effort not to cry, the urge to touch her, the need to be careful with her. All of that combined makes these few seconds something to talk about. No words, just…them.

“147 days yesterday. Uh, 148 today.”

The episode: “After Life”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Buffy asks Spike, who is examining her bloody hands, how long she had been gone for. Spike replies, “147 days yesterday. Uh, 148 today. Except today doesn’t count does it?”

Why I cried: Let’s just…he counted the days. He counted the days. Not weeks. Not months. Days. And the way he’s looking at her. His expression screams that he’s so happy to see her…but also that he’s not going to hurt her or push her. Which is the very first time this season that Spike does something for Buffy that no one else can or could. This man was so broken when he saw her lifeless body, and yet he’s able to compose himself enough to make sure Buffy is comfortable and safe. That’s love right there.

Spike blames Willow

The episode: “After Life”

My rating: 1/5

The moment: Spike corners Xander after a pointed comment about Spike returning to his days of stalking Buffy now that she was alive again. Spike expressed anger that no one told him about the plan to revive Buffy. Xander, unable to come up with a reason as to why they didn’t tell him, is baffled when Spike proposes that Willow kept it from him on purpose. Spike suggests that Willow knew Buffy could come back from the grave other than herself and they’d have to send her back. However, since Spike wouldn’t allow that to happen if any part of it was still Buffy, he guesses that Willow kept him in the dark to keep him from interfering in the case that Buffy’s reprieve was brief. 

Why I cried: This is a little moment, I understand. But the fact that it’s implied that Spike, of all people, wouldn’t allow the gang to get rid of a rabid Buffy, that’s pretty impactful. In fact, I would’ve guessed that Spike would be the one to opt for putting Buffy back in her grave, that he wouldn’t want Buffy to live and suffer. The shocking revelation that Spike wouldn't do just that is what rocked my emotions enough to include it on this list.

“Every night, I save you.”

The episode: “After Life”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: Buffy visits Spike in his crypt, likely looking for a break from the Scoobies. After an attempt from Spike to make small talk, he sits down and begins telling her what it’s been like since she died. He tells her he blames himself for her death and that ever since that night, in his mind, he never stopped saving her. 

Why I cried: Aside from character deaths, I’d put this scene in a top 5 list for Buffy’s saddest moments. He reminds her that he never stopped protecting Dawn, but then he backtracks on that idea, talks about the night she died. The way he blames himself…he erases everything else and only sees that he should’ve died protecting Dawn so Buffy wouldn’t of had to jump. And then he tells her he did save her, like it’s a sure fact, before saying he didn’t save her when it counted but he has every night since. This part is so easy to imagine: Spike laying in bed at night, maybe thinking, maybe dreaming about doing something different. About finding some other way to save Buffy, about pretending the last 147 days didn’t happen. He loses himself in his explanation, finally assuring Buffy, “Every night, I save you.” 

Giles and Tara’s duet 

The episode: “Once More, With Feeling”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Willow and Giles share a song, both expressing the need (but not desire) leave the one person they love the most. Giles, singing as a father; Tara singing as a lover. Both grieving the future loss of a relationship they wish they didn’t have to let go.

Why I cried: This little tidbit of a song gets me every time. Individually, Giles and Tara singing about losing Buffy and Willow respectively is heartbreaking on its own–but together…they both have to leave but for separate reasons, they both don’t want to leave for separate reasons, they both recognize the ending of their separate relationships. The power in this song is how a father and a lover can sing about a daughter and partner, say the exact same thing, mean the exact same thing, but for completely different circumstances. 

“You have to go on living, so one of us is living.” 

The episode: “Once More, With Feeling”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: As Buffy is dancing, about to go up in flame, Spike catches her. He sings to her about life and tells her that, even though it’s hard, she has to keeping living because that’s the only way she’ll heal.

Why I cried: This is another moment where Spike seems to know just what to say. He’s simply telling Buffy to keep fighting, like she’s always done. He’s telling her that she has to live so at least one of them is living. It’s as close to selfless as we’ve seen from Spike thus far or will see from him until his soul. It’s all for Buffy.

Tara realizes the truth

The episode: “Tabula Rasa”

My rating: 1/5

The moment: Xander accidentally steps on the crystal used to facilitate the memory spell, thus breaking it. Tara, realizing Willow had again cast a spell to affect her memory, cries for the loss of their relationship.

Why I cried: It’s a very sudden moment, and that makes it harsher to watch. Willow had previously fallen on top of Tara and was still there when the spell was broken, so Tara shoved her off and stood up immediately. The jolt of the movement punctuated the possible finality of Willow and Tara. 

“Goodbye To You”

The episode: “Tabula Rasa”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: As Michelle Branch sings “Goodbye To You,” we see two endings and a beginning. Giles flies out for London and Tara leaves Willow. Simultaneously, Buffy and Spike indulge in each other for the second time. 

Why I cried: Let’s start with Giles. So, the saddest part about Giles’ portion of this moment is that he’s alone now. No more Buffy, no more magic shop, he’s totally alone. Dawn feels betrayed by the crumble of Willow and Tara’s relationship. Tara feels guilty about that, but she also feels sorrow for having no other choice but to leave. Willow feels remorse and pain. Meanwhile, Buffy seemingly turns Spike away after he tries to comfort her from the spell being broken, as she was slammed back into her life that she’d described before as “painful”–until she decides she wants him. And Spike gets to indulge in his need for her. Through all of these goodbyes, at least someone got the (albeit brief) happiness that they needed.

Willow’s breakdown

The episode: “Wrecked”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: After meeting with Rack, a black magic dealer, Willow crashes a vehicle with Dawn in the passenger seat. Dawn subsequently is nearly killed by a demon, saved just in time by Spike and Buffy. Spike takes Dawn home as Willow has a breakdown, exclaiming that she can’t stop using magic, that she ruined everything.

Why I cried: When you see a character, especially one you love, completely shatter in front of you, that has an impact. Willow was just so limp and weak in that moment, a moment where she admitted that she was wrong and that she needed help. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for her to come to that conclusion, how much the guilt of nearly killing Dawn was eating at her. And yet, in this moment of weakness, she asked Buffy for help. And that is the strongest thing she could’ve done.

“I could never be your girl.”

The episode: “Dead Things”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Johnathan, Warren, and Andrew devise a plan to frame Buffy for the accidental murder of Warren’s ex-girlfriend. After their plan was successful, Buffy planned to turn herself in. Spike, however, wasn’t going to let Buffy throw her life away because of an accident. She began hitting him as Spike egged her on, told her to put it all on him. When she did, he said, “That’s my girl.” To this, Buffy hit him faster and harder, screaming that she could never be his girl because he was a soulless, evil “thing.”

Why I cried: The first part of why this scene is so emotional is because Buffy is trying so hard to deny that she enjoys being with Spike. Combine that with the guilt from “killing” that girl, and Buffy’s portion of this scene is extremely intense. Now, for Spike’s. Seeing Spike get insulted and beat on and emotionally torn up, crushes me. Considering all he’d done in the past, yes, he deserved it. But considering that he was trying, he definitely didn’t deserve it. And even after all that, he still tried to keep her from going into that police station. And Buffy looked horrified when she took in what she’d done to Spike. “You always hurt the one you love, pet.”

Buffy confides in Tara

The episode: “Dead Things”

My rating: 3/5 

The moment: Buffy had previously asked Tara to test her and see if she’d come back from the grave wrong. When Tara confirmed that nothing was wrong with her, Buffy broke down, insisting that there must be for her to let Spike touch her. Tara assured her that it was alright and that she understood. Buffy, not wanting to be forgiven, laid her head in Tara’s lap and begged for Tara not to forgive her.

Why I cried: The small thing here is that Buffy and Tara’s relationship is being built up by this, which is the one positive thing. But, it’s just overwhelmingly sad that Buffy feels so horrible for being with Spike and increasingly more sad that she thinks she should be punished for it. Of course, there’s more in her that’s broken aside from her attraction to Spike, but the sheer shame in her eyes is completely heartbreaking.

“You glow.”

The episode: “Hell’s Bells”

My rating: 1/5

The moment: Spike and Buffy attempt to be civil after their break-up. Spike tells Buffy that it’s nice to see her happy, even if it isn’t with him, because he doesn’t get to see it a lot. He tells her she glows, and then she does.

Why I cried: The thing that kept running through my mind during this scene was that if they had simply treated each other like this before, they would’ve been beautiful together.

Xander leaves Anya at the altar 

The episode: “Hell’s Bells”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: Xander, afraid of ending up like the man in his falsified vision or even like his parents, leaves Anya at the altar on their wedding day. 

Why I cried: Anya was supposed to be the one to leave. Anya was supposed to be the scared partner, afraid of getting hurt. Instead, Xander was the one to leave. Because he was afraid of hurting her. Unfortunately, both Xander and Anya did or got exactly what they didn’t want. 

Xander and Buffy catch Anya and Spike

The episode: “Entropy”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Due to a camera put in the Magic Box by the Trio, Xander and Buffy see Spike and Anya having sex. Xander, determined to kill Spike, is chased down by Buffy who stops him. Xander and Anya argue about Xander’s choice to leave Anya at the altar. Xander says he can’t look at her anymore because she’s been with Spike. It’s at this moment that Spike reveals his previous involvement with Buffy, causing a rift between all four of them.

Why I cried: It’s just one of those scenes that all you can do is sit back and watch as it all crumbles in front of you. You want to agree with Buffy and Xander because they’re the traditional “good guys,” but they are the ones who left Anya and Spike out in the cold. A lot of conflicting emotions for the viewer.

Spike attempts to rape Buffy

The episode: “Seeing Red”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Spike goes to apologize to Buffy for hurting her because of his encounter with Anya. Buffy tells him that, although she has feelings for him, it isn’t love. This is misconstrued by Spike, leading to an attempted rape that is quickly derailed by Buffy kicking Spike off.

Why I cried: I could go on about this scene. The very first time I watched this, I didn’t cry. I didn’t do anything. I just sat there, completely frozen. I felt helpless, hopeless. I couldn’t stop what was happening, I couldn’t look away. I understood fully and entirely what was going on in this scene, what the point was. I knew that Spike instantly regretted what he did, that he didn’t even register until afterwards what it was that he’d almost done. I knew Buffy knew that too. But all I could think was, “This is it. This is how Spike and Buffy’s story ends.” And it just saddened me so much. It made me so empty to think that this was how the greatest love story I’d ever seen before got it’s end. I just felt like the world drained away and all that was left was hopelessness. I remember I had to shut off my computer afterwards and sit in silence for hours, not moving, not thinking, just hurting. And then the tears came. Because of all that I mentioned above, it all hit me and once and I broke. I couldn’t and, really still can’t, touch that scene. To this day, it just brings back the feeling that nothing matters and hope is lost.

Tara dies  

The episode: “Villains”

My rating: 5/5

The moment: After Tara is shot and killed by Warren, Willow weeps over her body.

Why I cried: It’s Tara. It’s Tara and it’s Willow and it’s not fair. It’s not fair that they only got to be happy again for a moment before it was all ripped away. It isn’t fair that Willow has to feel pain like that. It’s just not fair.

Yellow crayon

The episode: “Grave”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Xander goes to Willow, who is bent on destroying the world. He tells her that if she plans on destroying the world, he’s going with her. He repeats that he loves her, angering her at first, but eventually getting through to her as he tells her one last time.

Why I cried: It’s just a very powerful moment coming from Xander. After all both of them have been through: losing their loves together (whether that be Cordy and Oz or Anya and Tara), growing up together, staying together through all the pain. Of all the relationships on the show, Xander and Willow have got to have the strongest one. 

Willow cries in Xander’s arms 

The episode: “Grave”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: After talking her down, Xander is finally able to embrace Willow as she comes back to herself.

Why I cried: He did it. Xander saved the world. Xander, the guy who always considers himself useless. He saved the world. And he saved Willow. How amazing is he? 

The church scene

The episode: “Beneath You”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Spike reveals to Buffy that he got his soul back. He first tells her that his soul has been torturing him ever since he got it back, that he doesn’t blame her for not loving him, that he feels terribly for trying to hurt her. He then asks why everything isn’t fixed, confused by the fact that his soul is causing more trouble than it is fixing him. He then rests on a cross, burning himself as Buffy watches in the distance.

Why I cried: The whole scene, Spike is saying seemingly nonsensical things that all add up to him telling Buffy about how miserable he’s been since he got his soul back. Knowing the pain he went through to get his soul in the first place and that he’s in pain still is enough to tear anyone up. But my pain comes when Spike says he wasn’t a good man–or rather, a man at all–before he got his soul. That moment when his voice breaks and he tells Buffy he got his soul for her so that he could be worthy of being. And then he lays himself on the cross, a symbol for the fact that he’s still a monster, still worthy of pain and unworthy of love. And Buffy looks to be a combination of horrified and guilty as she stares on at this man that went through Hell for her and can’t find his way back.

“Stay here, and help me be quiet.”

The episode: “Help”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Buffy comes down the basement to ask Spike for his help in saving a girl that is meant to die on that day. She asks Spike if there is any evil in the basement, and he identifies himself as the evil because he hurt Buffy. Once Buffy realizes he has nothing useful for her, she begins to walk away. Spike calls after her and asks her to stay with him to help him be quiet. Buffy replies that it’s worse when she’s there and walks away.

Why I cried: Spike just looks so beaten. When Buffy speaks to him, he uses her voice to ground him and keep him in reality. You can see him trying to think, trying to stay there in the moment. Trying to understand what she’s asking of him. And he says that he’s paying (with the pain from his soul) because he hurt Buffy. He doesn’t want to hurt the girl. Finally, as Buffy walks away from him, he pleads with her to stay there, to help him keep the voices out. She denies his plea and leaves him sitting alone.

“It’s still all about you.”

The episode: “Sleeper”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Buffy accuses Spike of killing the girl he went out with the night before. Spike tells her he couldn’t have, because he got his soul. Furthermore, he’s offended that she thinks he would go to the trouble of getting his soul back just to kill again. He tells her he does go out and talk to women, but only because he can’t talk to her. Spike continues, saying that, unlike the chip, the soul he got on his own, for her. As Buffy’s telling him she knows that, Spike says that he only passes time with other women because at the end of the day, it’s still all about her.

Why I cried: Spike is trying so hard here to make her believe that he’d really, undeniably changed. And he looks so hurt that she really thinks he’d kill someone after all he went through to be better. More than that, he’s so terrified that somehow he did do it. Because he doesn’t want to be the bad man anymore. This whole scene is just pure emotion.

“Do it fast, okay?”

The episode: “Sleeper”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Spike asks Buffy to kill him in this scene. He mentions that “He” said she would do it, prompting Buffy to ask him what he remembered about the killings. Spike, upon saying that he doesn’t remember anything, begs to forget what he’d done. Buffy tells him that something mystical has been messing with him, to which Spike responds by asking her to help him, and Buffy agrees.

Why I cried: He looks so small. That’s not something we’re used to seeing. This big, bad, 100+ year old vampire is cowering in the corner, begging for death by the hands of the Slayer. And the way his voice breaks when he asks Buffy, “Do it fast, okay?” just breaks my heart. All he wants to do is stop the pain, whether that means ending his life or forgetting it ever happened. 

“I believe in you, Spike.”

The episode: “Never Leave Me”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: Spike insists that Buffy kill him before he can hurt anyone else because of the First. Buffy assures him that if he hadn’t really changed, he’d already be dead. She tells him that he fought every evil instinct he had to be the good man standing in front of her. Right before the Bringers break in and kidnap Spike, Buffy looks at him and tells him she believes in him.

Why I cried: During this scene, all I think about is how much they’ve grown, namely Buffy. I think about all the negative feelings she had towards Spike, how she realized that she didn’t need to feel those things anymore. She let go of the hate she had for him and instead put faith where hate had previously resided. Faith for Spike. That’s a damn big change. Just the way Spike looks back at her… He is totally and completely surprised by what she’s said. It’s hard to put that into words, but he’s so taken aback by the fact that she believes in him. In my opinion, it isn’t, “You believe in me?” It’s, “You really believe in me?” That’s what makes it magnificent. 

Spike resists the First

The episode: “Bring on the Night”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: The First interrogates and tortures Spike, who refuses to give over to whatever the First has planned. The First challenges him, asks him why he thinks he’ll be any good at all in the world as something other than evil. Spike simply says, “She does. Because she believes in me.”

Why I cried: So, for one, resisting the most powerful force of evil ever is hard enough, especially since Spike, as a vampire, is supposed to be evil by nature. But Spike isn’t resisting because the First hurt him. He isn’t resisting because he wants to be a good man. He’s resisting because Buffy believes he can be a good man. And that’s enough. 

Buffy saves Spike

The episode: “Showtime”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Spike, becoming doubtful that Buffy would risk her life to save him, looks up to see her standing in front of him with a knife in her hand. Sure that it’s the First playing with his emotions again, he insists she’s not real. Buffy, without a word, cuts him free of his bonds. They look at each other, relieved, and walk out of the cave, free.

Why I cried: Look at his face. He was so scared that Buffy wouldn’t come for him, even though he’d tried to convince himself that she would. When she does come for him, he just looks so happy. Almost in awe of her and his love for her and his elation at seeing her and knowing she cared for him enough to save him. And Buffy. I think upon seeing Spike that joyful, she got overwhelmed herself. Almost assuring him with her eyes that, “I’m here,” but also feeling that heavy emotion with him. All together, a peaceful and beautiful scene.

“I’m not ready for you to not be here.”

The episode: “First Date”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Spike suggests that he leave town in the case that the First wasn’t done using him yet. Buffy tells him he’s not going to leave. Misunderstanding, Spike tells her that with Wood around, she won’t need him in the final fight. But Buffy corrects him and tells him that’s not why she needs him to stay. Spike asks her what her reasoning is and she says, “’Cause I’m not ready for you to not be here.”

Why I cried: Let’s talk Spike first. He looks as though he’s discovered for the first time that Buffy feels something more for him. And I think it confuses him. Buffy doesn’t just disregard the idea that she only needs Spike for the fight, she doesn’t even make that a possibility. She could’ve said she needed him for the fight as well, but also because she just needed him. But instead she implies that the only reason he has to stay is because she needs him. That is…wow.

Andrew closes the Hellmouth 

The episode: “Storyteller”

My rating: 1/5

The moment: Buffy tells Andrew that, unlike other people’s blood, his will close the Hellmouth rather than open it. Andrew fears that Buffy is going to kill him, and Buffy makes him see how horrible it was that he’d killed Johnathan. She holds him over the Hellmouth as he cries, and as his tears hit the Hellmouth’s opening, it closes. 

Why I cried: Andrew’s redemption arc was something that I took very well and appreciated. Knowing the First’s affect on people can shed some light onto why Andrew would’ve killed Johnathan, no matter how bad of a decision it was. So, seeing him repent like this is hard. At the same time, you can see Buffy feels a little bad for causing him pain, even though she was mostly only doing it to close the portal to the Hellmouth. It’s also the first real time we see Andrew gain any acceptance from Buffy. It’s very touching.

Buffy gets kicked out

The episode: “Empty Places”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: The potentials, Buffy’s friends, and fellow Slayer, Faith decide to vote Buffy out of her leadership role. They state that she’s too reckless and controlling and that they’d much rather be under Faith’s command (much to Faith’s dismay). Buffy then leaves with one last plea for Faith to protect them.

Why I cried: Here’s the thing, it’s hard to watch because everybody in this scene is right. Buffy is right about the vineyard holding something important to their battle. The group is right that she’s been too brash and bossy about her decision making. Buffy is wrong in assuming that her opinion is the only one that matters, and the group is wrong to throw her out of her house. Just knowing that there’s a better solution to this situation makes it horrible to watch.

Spike gives Buffy strength

The episode: “Touched”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: Spike finds Buffy in an abandoned house, saddened by the realization that she had lost herself in her journey as Slayer. As a part of Buffy confiding in Spike, she mentions that he only wanted her because she was unattainable. This prompts Spike to sit her down and tell her why it is he loves her, giving Buffy back the confidence that she needs to finish the fight.

Why I cried: All this scene is, is Spike totally and utterly being there for Buffy. He’s not doing it for selfish reasons. He’s not doing it as a backdoor way to tell her yet again that he loves her. He’s only saying these things to Buffy for Buffy. He only wants for her to see herself the way he does, the way many do. And, for the first time, he tells her why he loves her, not just that he does. Which is something I don’t think he could articulate before his soul. And Buffy is just so touched by what he’s saying, she’s washed away by this man sitting in front of her. There’s nothing better.

Spike holds Buffy

The episode: “Touched”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: As Spike prepares to sleep either in another room or on a chair in the same room as Buffy, she calls to him and asks him to hold her. The two spend the night together in each other’s arms.

Why I cried: It’s just lovely, isn’t it? To see them be intimate? Especially amidst every other character in this montage making love. Spike and Buffy had their turn to be physical, now they get the chance to just be with each other. Spike goes to Buffy with no hesitation after she asks him to hold her, at first prepared to do whatever made her comfortable. It’s another moment where Spike removes himself from the situation, only there to be there for Buffy. Absolutely lovely.

“Terrified.” 

The episode: “End of Days”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Buffy asks Spike how he felt about the night before, the night they spent together. He tells her he’s terrified. He says that the night before was the best night of his life. Buffy tells him she was there with him just before the two decide to leave the rest of this discussion until after they “go be heroes.” 

Why I cried: Goodness, where do I start? Both of them are afraid the previous night didn’t mean as much to the other as it did to them. Buffy finally decides that she wants to lay out her feelings for Spike and know his feelings for her. Spike is terrified that he loves her so much, that he might lose her, that she may not want him. And when Buffy tells him she was completely in that moment with him…oh my God, Spike’s face. He’s just so hopeful. After all the Hell they’ve both been through, they find hope in each other.

Buffy calls Spike a champion

The episode: “Chosen”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Buffy comes home, after her talk with Angel, with an amulet that is meant to be worn by a champion to save the world. The champion is meant to have a soul but be more than human, so Spike tells Buffy that if Angel wasn’t staying to wear it, then he should instead. Buffy tells him that it’s meant to be worn by a champion, and Spike’s expression falls just before Buffy steps forward and places it in his hand.

Why I cried: Buffy set that up on purpose specifically to show Spike how deeply she felt about him and to make him happy. You can see in her eyes that she’s trying to convey the way she feels, and Spike glows when she implies that he is a champion. This little moment between them is breathtaking. 

Buffy and Spike spend their last night together

The episode: “Chosen”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Spike and Buffy look at each other fondly before spending the night–what they assume to be their last night alive–together.

Why I cried: All together, these silent few moments mean so much. They could’ve spent their last night with anyone, but they decided to spend it with each other. That alone shows how much they mean to one another. A happy moment to preface the end of their story on Buffy.

Anya dies

The episode: “Chosen”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: In her heroic effort to save Andrew’s life, Anya sacrifices her own.

Why I cried: Anya finally got to be brave. She wasn’t running away anymore, she took her stand and became a warrior. It’s a bittersweet goodbye knowing that she and Xander could’ve come together again, but in the end, Anya died a hero.

Spike and Buffy’s goodbye

The episode: “Chosen”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: As Spike’s amulet activates, Buffy rushes over to him. Spike tells her he’s staying behind to finish the job, and Buffy grabs his hand, igniting a flame. Buffy then says a long awaited, “I love you.” Spike responds, “No you don’t, but thanks for saying it.” 

Why I cried: Why did I cry? I cried because Buffy loved him as soon as their hand’s clasped. I cried because Spike didn’t believe her. I cried because they’d come so far just to lose each other. I cried because within this tragic moment, this made me happier than anything. I cried because it’s Spike and Buffy.

Spike dies

The episode: “Chosen”

My rating: 5/5

The moment: Spike sacrifices himself to save the world.

Why I cried: I was in denial that he was dead up until the end. I couldn’t believe it. Spike’s journey is the single most amazing thing ever to be shown, not just on Buffy, but anywhere. In his final moments, he gets to be a good man–a champion. Spike isn’t just a secondary character. He isn’t just someone Buffy had a relationship with. Spike became so important to the show and to its viewers that he got to save the world in the biggest, baddest final battle. And he didn’t just save the world, he saved himself. And he saved Buffy. He saved his world, and that was enough to give him peace in this final moment. 

“That’s my girl.”

The episode: “Chosen”

My rating: 2/5

The moment: Andrew tells Xander what happened with Anya, that she died saving his life. Xander bears a sad smile as he says, “That’s my girl.”

Why I cried: Xander didn’t get angry or cry or break down. He was just proud. And even with all the pain Xander and Anya caused each other, she never stopped being his girl.

“Spike.”

The episode: “Chosen”

My rating: 3/5

The moment: Buffy reunites with the gang, and Giles asks what caused the massive destruction left behind after the Hellmouth was destroyed. Buffy simply replies, “Spike.”

Why I cried: Spike deserved to be the last word said from Buffy’s mouth. And, much like Xander’s reaction to Anya’s death, Buffy looks to be a combination of sad and proud. So proud that Spike saved them all in the end, even if she had to lose him.

The End

The episode: “Chosen”

My rating: 4/5

The moment: Buffy looks on at the remains (or lack thereof) of Sunnydale, her home, destroyed. But, as the gang asks what they do now that the battle is over, Buffy smiles, excited for this end and for another beginning.

Why I cried: Because this is the end. It’s that feeling of punctuation, of finality. You reflect on all that has happened before this point and all it’s done for you. And then you realize that it’s over. But at the same time, you know that nothing ever really ends. 

Okay, I hope you enjoyed this depressingly wonderful post, and I hope I made you cry. Honestly, I do. In all seriousness, it’s everything about this show, not just its sad moments, that made me (and so many others) better than we were. I’ll always look to Buffy because, even in its tragedies, it makes me stronger.

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #130 - Veronica Mars

Spoilers below (for the TV show too).

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes!

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #283.

Format: Blu-ray

This post is dedicated to @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer, the best Marshmallow I know.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

1) Veronica Mars - this film - exists because of a Kickstarter campaign that went live on March 13, 2013. The series ran for three seasons before being cancelled but gained an incredible cult following. Series creator Rob Thomas, Kristen Bell, and the rest of the cast had been hopeful about a movie being made for years before turning to Kickstarter. Their goal was 2 million dollars, they got that in less than 24 hours (breaking most of Kickstarter’s records at the time). They ended up with five million total dollars by the end of their campaign (which was broke the REST of Kickstarter’s records at the time). This movie is made by the fans, for the fans basically, and that’s awesome.

2) I first started watching “Veronica Mars” on Netflix DVDs AFTER the Kickstarter had come and gone, meaning I did not have to wait the seven years many fans did for a resolution to the series’ cliffhanger ending. I fell in love with the show instantly. I binged it as quickly as I could with Netflix DVDs (ie: not very quickly but passionately) and love almost every twist and turn. It is an excellent show and my love for it definitely in part fuels my love for the film.

3) The opening, “I need your help Veronica,” montage is a great way of starting off the film. For fans of the original series it reminds us of everything we’ve been missing for a while, and for people who have never seen a single episode it gives them enough info to understand the movie and its characters. And it has this wink to the fans of the show:

Veronica: “New me? People say I’m a Marshmallow.”

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

For all you newbies, fans of “Veronica Mars” refer to themselves as Marshmallows because of this line from the pilot. It was either that or “twinkies” and you can spell “Marshmallows” without “Mars”.

4) Kristen Bell as Veronica Mars.

Originally posted by veronicaneptunes

It’s difficult for me to talk about Veronica as a character because most of my understanding of her as a character comes from both the film AND the TV Show. A lot of what I have to say is really going to be echoes of what @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer has said in her fantastic recaps for the series. Veronica is strong willed, fiercely loyal, but she’s got some blinders on. If she decides you’re guilty or innocent, it is fact. That is just the way it is and she will not recognize the notion otherwise. But see, that does not come into effect in as huge a way in the film as it has in the show in the past.

Veronica is incredibly sharp. I will speak later on how physical strength is not one of her greatest attributes, but she more than makes up with it in wit and the ability to think on her feet. Tough as nails, with an incredible sense of humor (which in and of itself is probably a defense mechanism of some sort), Veronica is amazing. And Veronica would not be the Veronica we know and love if it were not for the truly perfect Kristen Bell.

There are some character who are just defined as much by the actors who play them as the writers who craft them. Veronica Mars is one of those characters. Kristen Bell inhabits all of Veronica’s qualities perfectly. Her contradictions, her strengths, her weakness, her love, her aggression, her need for intimacy with some people, her ability to be independent with others. Honestly in the same sense that Sarah Michelle Gellar IS Buffy or that Robert Downey Jr. IS Iron Man, Kristen Bell IS Veronica Mars and no other actress could ever play her with the same perfection as Bell.

5) Jamie Lee Curtis.

Understand that even though this film made more than twice what it was asking for in the Kickstarter campaign, five million bucks to make a movie these days is close to nothing. Comparatively speaking at least (although recent best picture winner Moonlight only cost 1.5 million so…). Most of the famous faces in this film - the small bits here and there like Jamie Lee Curtis in the very beginning - have some sort of working relationship with those involved in the movie (usually the actors). For example: Curtis worked with Bell in 2010′s You Again. I’m sure this most be some sort of favor to her.

6) This flip off is very Veronica. You can tell a lot about her way of handling jackasses and her sense of humor from this moment.

Originally posted by veronicaneptunes

7) 

Gayle: Fifteen separate articles or briefs in cases ranging from multiple homicides to dognapping.

The season one episode “Hot Dogs” involves Veronica helping what was one of the kindest and most sincerely uncorrupted characters on the show (Mandy) help find her missing dog which she loved so much. I like to tell myself that is Veronica thinking fondly on this case which means little to others (especially when compared to multiple homicides) but one where she helped this really kind girl with something that really mattered to her.

8) Let’s talk briefly about the film’s “sex tape” references. Towards the end of season 3 a “sex tape” was released of Veronica and her then-boyfriend (and current boyfriend, at the start of this film) Piz. Except Veronica said she and Piz were just fooling around and didn’t actually have sex. We see the sex tape very clearly later on in the film, that has clearly been retconned. Painfully, too, as Piz is not exactly the most loved of Veronica’s boyfriends.

9) On that note…Piz.

I cannot get into the intense dislike people have for Piz without getting into how he was written and portrayed in the final season of the TV show (which was the season he was introduced in). In a nutshell, Piz was the Nice Guy™. As in the character who in reality isn’t really a nice guy, but is sort of a privileged manipulative white dude bro who thinks he deserves to be with a woman he basically sees as the female lead in his own personal romantic comedy. But the writers still write him as the “nice guy”. The movie does not have as much of that Nice Guy™ vibe to Piz though. It’s definitely still there though. He tells Veronica that he oversold her to his parents. That, “They cannot believe I landed a creature such as the one I’ve described.” But mostly Piz is kinda sorta not an awful dude. He seems to have some genuine feelings for Veronica but you can tell Veronica is with him just because he’s the safe choice. Because this is the clean life she wants. And that’s never who she was and so Piz isn’t dating the REAL Veronica. Piz is not interested in the REAL Veronica just the kind of girl he expects her to be and wants her to be. Even if he’s not a total dick about it in the film, that’s still what their relationship is.

HOWEVER I will say even though I may have issues with Piz as a character I do truly enjoy Chris Lowell as an actor. My distaste for how Piz has been written in the past is not a reflection on his performance.

10) Veronica talks about how Bonnie DeVille used to be known as Carrie Bishop. Carrie Bishop was featured in a few season one episodes of the show played by “Gossip Girl” actress Leighton Meester. Meester had scheduling conflicts with the show so they recast her part.

11) Never ever think too hard about the timeline or continuity in the Veronica Mars universe. Like…Logan is supposed to be a different age than her but they were still in the same graduating class or his dead girlfriend was a different age because she went to school with her brother who was…just, it’s confusing to think about it too hard. Just know that this film - while released in 2014 - takes place in 2016. Because the characters graduated high school in 2006 and their ten year reunion is featured in the film.

12) The theme of addiction is heavily featured throughout the movie, mainly throughout Veronica’s internal monologue. She constantly mentions her alcoholic mother while comparing her return to Neptune and the world of a PI to that idea. Not to mention Veronica described her past self as a, “possible adrenaline junkie,” within the first five minutes of the film. It’s a neat idea that gives the film a unique arc and helps it feel more than an extended episode.

13) Logan Echolls, ladies and gentlemen.

(GIF originally posted by @veronicaneptunes)

With most of (if not all of) these characters, it is difficult for me to talk about them ONLY as they are presented in the film. Logan is someone who throughout the TV show had a very troubled life. His father beat him, his mother committed suicide, his girlfriend was murdered, the murderer turned out to be his father, he had been manipulated by many people he considered family, but he was good to Veronica (for the most part) when they started dating. He cared for her, truly. There was an honesty to their relationship, an ability to be himself, which he lost when she left. I think the second Veronica Mars book Mr. Kiss & Tell goes into this more (I read it two years ago), but Logan needed to get his life together post-Veronica. So he joined the freaking Navy. That first image of Logan already sets him up as a clean cut, mostly kept together man that is FAR different from the, “obligatory psychotic jackass,” we met in the pilot of the show.

Much like Kristen Bell, Jason Dohring gives Logan a lot of depth. The reason the character was given such a prominent role and more layers - initially - was because of Dohring’s skill as an actor. He is able to present Logan as mostly collected but still vulnerable. Still with a deep sorrow in his soul, still with a darkness to him. But we as an audience are invested in him as a character. We understand Veronica’s trust for him because we see just who he is around Veronica. The chemistry between Dohring and Bell is incredible. It is not just hot steamy chemistry (although it can be, more on that later). It’s a trust, it’s friendship, it’s an ability for these two to truly be themselves around each other in a way they can’t be with pretty much everyone else.

It is a truly wonderful performance and character we get to see in the film and I think the entire franchise of Veronica Mars would be far less without Jason Dohring and Logan Echolls.

14) It is fun how to see how easily Veronica slips into her old routine at her dad’s office. Also it goes into the idea of how an addict is more easy to fall into their addiction when they get into a certain habit. Veronica was addicted to being a PI when she was in Neptune, working with Logan, and helping at her dad’s office. Is it any wonder she can’t fight off the need to go back to that life when she’s in the town for less than a day and all these things have happened already?

15) Keith’s face when he sees Veronica!

We don’t get AS good a look as Keith’s relationship with daughter Veronica in the film as we did in the TV show (we got three seasons to examine it, after all), but it is still one of the best parent/child relationships to ever grace screens and the chemistry between Enrico Colantoni and Kristen Bell is great.

16) Although the film only had a budget from Kickstarter of about five million dollars, Warner Brothers studio was comfortable enough with the film that they paid an extra million (I think it was a million) for some reshoots to help make the story more understandable. The most noteworthy of these reshoots is the scene where Keith and Veronica are driving through town and discover a bunch of kids being framed up by the police, tazzed, basically abused for being “riff raff” and Keith being able to extort the police into letting the kids go by taking a video of them abusing their power. This was all told to the audience in the original shoot at the office scene, but the use of “show don’t tell” not only paints a grim picture of what kind off corrupt place Neptune is but also what kind of man Keith is. He really is - as his daughter says - the George Bailey of Neptune.

17) Mac & Wallace!

Again, if you like what you see of these two in the movie and want more…GO WATCH THE TV SHOW! The friendship Veronica forges with Wallace is one of the strongest in her life, second only to her father and even ahead of her relationship with Logan I think. He is there through it all. Through all the boyfriends, all the drama, all the times she’s a pariah, he is there for her. He helps her out, he does favors with her, and it is just such a beautiful and loving friendship.

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

The relationship Veronica has with Mac - while not necessarily as strong - is still great. Tina Majorino breathed such life into this character from season 1 who could’ve easily been a one off but ended up being second only to Wallace when it came to Veronica’s friends. The trio of them are great, and they’ve always got each other’s backs.

18) Dick Casablancas.

(GIF originally posted by @veronicaneptunes)

Otherwise known as: your problematic fave! Man, I don’t even know where to start with Dick. He’s…well…he’s a dick! But like a likable dick! Somehow Rob Thomas gets away with Dick doing some really awful shit in the show and still have him be Logan’s best friend. Dick in this film is - I think - mostly comedic relief (and, at one point, a suspect) and Hansen is just a lot of fun in the role.

A little note about Dick though. This line has way more significance than you would think:

Dick [after Logan’s potential lawyer makes a remark about his pot brownies]: “Medicine, man. I got my card. Chronic depression. You wouldn’t think, huh?”

That’s actually very telling about Dick. Season two ended with his younger brother being revealed as a mass murderer before killing himself, and there was some fair amount of time devoted in early season three to examining how Dick dealt with this.

19) This scene alone shows a lot of fun back and forth between Veronica, Logan, and the idiots of Neptune.

Logan [after these two Canadian drunks call a girl a crazy bitch at karaoke night]:

(GIFs originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

20) Again with the theme of addiction:

Veronica [internal monologue]: “You know what? It’s a one time deal. A farewell tour, if you will. [Sees hot as fuck Logan] Then again, you ever hear the one about the junkie who was satisfied with just one more taste of the good stuff?”

(GIF originally posted by @veronicaneptunes)

Veronica: “Neither have I.”

21) Chekov’s random trucker hat line…

Veronica [about being able to hide cameras in anything]: “My dad has a trucker hat that’s rigged with a camera -”

22) There’s this rule Pixar has with writing: a coincidence that gets the character into trouble is plot. A coincidence that gets them out of trouble is cheating. The fact that Veronica is able to get into someone’s house by saying she’s doing a location scout for a Clint Eastwood movie only for that person to have a connection to Clint Eastwood falls into the former of those two categories.

23) This film THRIVES on fan service which also serves the plot. For example, Veronica - like she did all the way back in season one - calls Wallace for a favor.

Veronica: “Hey Buddy! I need a favor. Can you get me a student’s permanent file?”

Wallace: “You do realize that I’m a teacher now, Veronica? An educator? This is a position of responsibility.”

Veronica: “So you’re saying it’s gonna be super easy. Good. I did NOT want to put you out.”

The theater I saw this in - with quite a few Marshmallows - all found this scene hysterical.

24) The inclusion of Deputy Sacks is a nice way of bringing in even what some would call the smaller characters into the film. AND it ends up working out really well.

Originally posted by veronicaneptunes

25) Jerry O’Connell as Sheriff Dan Lamb.

The perfect personification of slime and corruption in Neptune. Lamb’s brother Don Lamb was the incompetent (and assholish prick of a) sheriff throughout most of the show, and somehow they made his brother even worse. At least Don Lamb would OCCASIONALLY do his job if presented with enough compelling evidence. Meanwhile Dan is even more egotistical, even says at one point he doesn’t care if Logan is innocent or not, and later in all likelihood tries to have Keith killed. Jerry O’Connell plays Lamb as wonderfully vile. A villain you love to hat.

26) I love that this film brings in so many memorable characters from the TV show, even though some are limited to one scene. But that one scene is enough for us to remember why we love them. This is very true for Daran Norris as Cliff McCormack, Neptune’s resident public appointed attorney.

Originally posted by veronicaneptunes

27) It is interesting seeing how these characters have grown in the seven years since the TV show ended. For example, Veronica is able to show off QUITE clearly that she spent a considerable amount of time at law school when she’s defending herself at the police station.

28) The whole scene at the 09er is very entertaining, if for no other reason than a trio of fun cameos we get. We see exactly the stupidity of the “cool kids” at Neptune, we get the series’ first use of the word, “fuck,” AND we get Veronica’s trademark sass. Also we get this nice moment between husband & wife:

29) But the 09er scene is NOTHING compared to the reunion at Neptune High.

Originally posted by lovelykristenbell

The entire graduation scene perfectly shows off the film’s ability to balance out fan service AND move the plot forward. It brings back almost all the memorable characters from the TV show, friends and enemies a like. And for you who haven’t seen the show, we get a very clear picture of just how much Veronica “enjoyed” high school.

Veronica: “In a lesser known epic poem, ‘Dante’s Inferno 2: Hell Freezes Over,’ ten years after escaping the nine circles, Dante returns. You know, for old times’ sake. Have a couple shots, catch up with the gang…”

Madison [as Veronica approaches]: “Name?”

Veronica: “See if Lucifer’s still a bitch.”

We get a see of characters in this scene.

  • Madison Sinclair is still an entitled, judgmental, condescending asshole.

Originally posted by singfromthehair

  • Gia Goodman (played by the incredible Krysten Ritter of “Jessica Jones” fame) is REMARKABLY different from the last time we saw her. Back then she was a chipper, positive (if a little naive) young woman. Then Veronica exposed her dad as a pedophile to the world, he was killed by Dick’s brother in a plane explosion, and some really awful psychotic shit went down where she is basically owned by a man named Cobb (Martin Starr). Gia is likely the most changed character since the TV show and Ritter’s amazing range supports that.
  • Eli ‘Weevil’ Navarro has gotten his life together, which is an incredible thing to see from the former member of a bike gang. He has a daughter, he has a wife, he is reformed! But of course Neptune is gonna tear him back down.

Originally posted by marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer

  • We even get a chance to see Horny, the recurring comic relief and nice dude from the show, in a little moment which I as a fan appreciate.

Edit: I have had it pointed out to me that the character’s name is Corny, not Horny is I’ve thought for four years. You can find the reply in notes, but I’m going to leave the name as I originally thought so you all know my shame.

30) The high school reunion also serves as a turning point for the story. Veronica realizes that Carrie’s death is tied to the death of her friend Susan Knight YEARS ago on Carrie’s father’s boat. And now her investigation has some more direction.

31) When you watch the works of Rob Thomas (the writer, not the singer) you find he is wonderfully aware of his famous name-twin.

Piz [about talking about some 2006 music]: “Maybe some SOLO Rob Thomas.”

That’s nothing compared to what we got on “iZombie” though.

32) I love this.

(GIFs originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

33) A great peek at how Veronica is not as alone as she may think is after Madison (asshole) shows Veronica’s sex tape at the family reunion. For one thing Wallace is immediately at Veronica’s side, running to turn it off. Then Wallace, Logan, Weevil, Dick, and Piz (at least. Maybe Horny too, I’m not sure.) all jump into a fight with the assholes who want to put the tape back on. A great recall from this line:

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

34) Principal Clemmons is another example of a great supporting character from the show making a brief but appreciate appearance in the film.

35) Veronica at the reunion’s after-party is very much her being in her natural environment. The scene where she’s dancing and it cuts to slow mo is very predatory to me. She is a lion ready to pounce on its prey. This is her in her element and its great to watch.

36) Martin Starr as Cobb is a…unique new character in the film. He was not in the show at all and now he’s part of the group of established characters. In hindsight it’s obvious that he’s the evil mastermind of it all (spoiler alert).

37) Veronica impersonating Martina Vasquez to get info out of Lamb is as nice callback to the series while also showing new viewers just how crafty she can be.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

38) Leo!!!!

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

Leo was like the best boyfriend Veronica had on the show who wasn’t Logan, an actual nice guy and not Nice Guy™. Max Greenfield has gotten a lot more recognition lately for his memorable turn as Schmidt on “New Girl” but he’s GREAT on the show and in this film. He only has one scene but it’s a bit bigger than say Cliff’s scene or Clemmons’ scene, and him screwing with Veronica by pretending to not remember her is a lot of fun.

39)

Leo: “By the way, I didn’t know the FBI was looking into the Bonnie DeVille case.”

Veronica: “I’m not with the FBI.”

Leo: “You sure? I could’ve SWORN I heard somewhere that you were in the FBI.”

Veronica: “Another life maybe.”

Rob Thomas pitched a drastically altered version of the show which would have seen Veronica join the FBI in season 4. I’m kinda glad it didn’t work it, but they shot this pitch:

40) So James Franco is in this movie.

Rob Thomas said in an interview:

“My producing partner, Danielle Stokdyk, her husband is an Academy Award-winning visual effects artist who happened to have just done ‘Oz the Great and Powerful.’ He had become friendly with James, and it really was easy as this: I emailed a script and said we’d love you for this part and honestly five minutes later, five minutes later, he emailed me back and said, 'sounds fun, I’m in.’”

41) Add Vinnie Van Lowe to the list of fun appearances from the show!

Originally posted by nickmillerturtleface

42) According to IMDb:

In one of the shots, a man dressed like a gorilla was needed to dance in the foreground while Kristen Bell and Ken Marino played a scene on a bench. Ryan Hansen had just wrapped his last scene in the film a few hours earlier and was hanging out on set and agreed to do the scene. Rob Thomas and Ryan then decided to prank Kristen and Ken, who didn’t know it was Ryan in the gorilla suit. The stint made the DVD bloopers reel.

43) Veronica cannot say, “I know what happened,” without me thinking of this:

(GIF originally posted by @marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer)

44) Chekov’s random trucker hat line.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

45) This line that Deputy Sacks has is very telling about who he is as a character, his conflict, and what is up in Neptune.

Sacks: “I saw this thing on, uh, YouTube a few weeks ago, Keith. It’s a funny video. A…uh…two nazi they’re uh…looking at the skulls on their insignias and the piles of dead bodies. And they have this moment of clarity. Wait a minute…we’re the bad guys.”

46) Deputy Sacks’ death is a surprisingly powerful moment. This is a character who has been around since the pilot in 2004. Someone who was always there and who Veronica or anyone else never got super close to. But he was always there, always a good cop, and the sorrow of his loss is seen in one simple unanswered question:

Doctor: “Was he a friend of yours?”

47) The following LoVe love scene (LoVe is the ship name for Logan + Veronica) really shows off how these two not only have a chemistry built on being able to be themselves, but also the fact they’re each INCREDIBLY attracted to each other and just have this raw sexy passion. There is a tenderness, a connection, a heat to them that is just unmatched by any of her other boyfriends.

48) Remember how Veronica is sort of an addict?

Veronica: “The only way I’m not going to spend the day obsessing about my dad is by nailing Gia and Luke to the wall.”

49) One of Veronica’s most defining character traits is that when she decides a person is guilty, they are guilty. And it takes a lot for her to alter her theory or her idea of what is going on. This is seen when she is watching Gia and Cobb hook up, and she comments…

Veronica: “Gia seduced her lap dog into killing Carrie.”

There is NOTHING about that scene that shows Gia initiating sex with Cobb, it’s totally Cobb doing it. But Veronica can’t see that, she only sees what supports her theory. And then there’s this line that shows what she thinks of Gia.

Veronica [after Logan warns her to be careful]: “Child please, it’s Gia Goodman. The day I can’t handle Gia Goodman…”

This is very much a line that would be applied to high school Gia, not this new Gia. Veronica has little to no idea who this new Gia is.

50) The following scene between Veronica and Gia is a great character moment for Gia. Krysten Ritter’s skills as an actor show us just how tortured and trapped this once kindhearted and positive girl was, and it’s heartbreaking.

Originally posted by shes-a-maarshmallow

51) The entire climax (where Cobb has Veronica trapped in Gia’s apartment building) is very tense. Cobb has the upper hand physically and Veronica knows that. She has to play this confrontation by hiding, being patient, and outsmarting Cobb. And she does! It is wonderfully paced and choreographed and just a great moment of tension.

52) My biggest criticism of this film is that I’m always surprised by how quickly it wraps up, but it’s also something I’ve gotten more comfortable with in repeat viewings.

53) The metaphor of Veronica as an addict has never been clearer than her last lines of the film (an internal monologue).

Veronica: “My name is Veronica, and I’m an addict. Hello Veronica.”

54) Logan often had inspirational messages on his voice mail in the show. This message which plays over the end credits is very nice.

Logan: “This is Logan reminding you: if you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask which seat, just get on. Sheryl Sandberg said that. So don’t leave a message. Go get on that rocket ship. Or, leave a message. Your call. Your decision will tell me a lot about you.”

That - to me - seems very telling about the film. They took a chance on asking fans to finance it and it turned out wonderfully! They got on their rocket.


This recap ended up being much longer than I intended. And there’s still a lot here I can talk about which I haven’t. And that is very telling of the film. There is a lot to dissect, a lot that works and is going on in the movie. The writing is incredible, with a good balance of fan service and plot. The acting is as good as it ever was on the show, Rob Thomas’ direction is great, and it is just what fans who were waiting seven years for closure deserved. A great, great film and a fantastic potential finale to the series.

Out Of Shape (Brendon/Sarah Urie)

Maybe this gif fits, maybe it doesnt? Anywho! Hello, hi, I’m Ro, and I have been invited (coerced) to write on this blog so it’s not a ghost town. Nice to meet you guys!

Originally posted by officialzackcloudhall

“Oh shit, this is the most exercise I’ve ever done,” you panted, lagging behind as Sarah and Brendon hiked on.


“It’s not that bad, babe,” Sarah called.


“Says you, you work out every day, even when we’re on tour,” You whined, nearly collapsing as you attampted to climb higher.


“Are you going to whine the whole way up?” Brendon asked. You mewled pathetically as you tripped and climbed slowly up the mountain behind them, “Fine, why don’t I give you a piggy back ride?”


“Yes, please,” you sighed, still panting and clutching your side as Brendon approached you, he helped you up to a small rest area. You sat in the rest area for a while before you were to start off again.


“Why didn’t you mention that you’re so out of shape?” Sarah asked as you caught your breath.


“Because it didn’t come up? Playing the drums is exercise enough,” you stated. Brendon chuckled lightly, nodding in agreement.


“Alright, just climb up and we’ll get on with this. It’s worth the work,” He stated. You nodded and climbed on his back, already getting an interesting from your perch.


“Better?” Sarah asked.


“Yes, very much,” you giggled, kissing Brendons cheek.


“Now you’re making me jealous,” Sarah whined. You giggled and kissed Brendon once more on each cheek. Sarah jokingly pouted and pulled Brendon in for a sloppy kiss. You made it quite far up the mountain, that was until-


“Oh my god!” A voice behind you suddenly screamed. Brendon turned a bit too fast, and almost lost his balance. Sarah caught him before he fell and dropped you. The person who screamed walked toward you, she was obviously a fan, her shirt and screech giving her away.


“Um, this is awkward, give us a sec so I can get down,” you chuckled, sliding off Brendons back.


“Can I get a picture with you guys?!” She asked excitedly. You both nodded and let her hand Brendon (who was the tallest) her phone. He quickly snapped a picture, and gave some final hugs, hoping she would leave. She did, but not before her mother commented on your realtionship.


“I know it’s in the job description, but I’ll never get used to that,” you commented, “I miss being a nobody.,


"You’ve never been a nobody,” Sarah said, giving you a short peck on the lips, “not to us.” You rolled your eyes and climbed back on Brendons back.


It was only a short twenty minutes later that you made it to the top of the mountain. “It’s so beautiful,” you whispered, “you guys were right, totally worth the trip.”


“I can think of something more beautiful,” Sarah said, wrapping her arm around your waist.


“That was so cheesy,” you giggled. Brendon slid behind you two and wrapped an arm around each of you and rested his head on your shoulders.


“But it’s true,” he stated. After a moment you all broke apart, taking pictures and posting on various social media sites. Right after you got a picture, you turned and noticed Brendon right behind you, on one knee.


“What the fuck is happening?” You asked quietly.


“Well, since everyone says we can’t be in our relationship because you’re a cheater, I decided I kind of need to lock you down,” he said, reaching in his back pocket and taking out a plain engagement ring, “so, will you marry me?”


A hand flew to your mouth, you were at a loss for words. Tears sprung to your eyes as you nodded. He smiled happily and took your hand, sliding the ring on your finger.


“I’m the happiest person in the world,” you said, jumping into Brendons arms and hugging him. Sarah slid behind you and wrapped you in her arms. You were envoloped in warmth, and that’s where you always wanted to be.

Fame

Word count: ~1300
Summary: AU, The Doctor and Rose are bandmates whose fans firmly believe have been dating since their rise to fame. 
A/N: Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. I hope that I’ll have more time soon and will be more active on here, one can wish right?


After years of playing gigs at empty bars and pubs, the Doctor and Rose Tyler’s rise to fame was both wholly unexpected and faster than either of them could have imagined. Almost exactly two weeks after going from nobodies to household names they had their first interview together. There was a couch large enough for at least four, but with her nerves getting the better of her, Rose ended up tucked into the Doctor’s side.

After sufficiently promoting their upcoming tour, the interviewer asked if they were dating. Rose blushed furiously at the question and put her feet back onto the ground, uncomfortably aware of how it would look if she shifted over on the couch now. She hadn’t even noticed that the Doctor’s arm was cradling her, or that she’d chucked her shoes and pulled her legs up underneath her at some point.

The Doctor removed his arm from around her and tugged at his ear before answering, “er, no we aren’t – that’s not to say Rose Tyler isn’t brilliant and any man would be lucky to have her – but I just – what I mean is, we’re only mates and in a band – we just live together – ”

Keep reading

New Things

Request:  Lynn gunn where u go to a party or event and have common friends yet never met each other and now you get to and over the night you start to have feelings for each other?

Requests are oooopen! Also can we appreciate this gif cause it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen… (I got very distracted by this gif while writing so apologies)

Originally posted by pvris-love

Tonight was girls night. Your friends dragging you along with them as you all decided to go party with some other friends of theirs. You didn’t mind meeting some new friends because you like your friends and they’re fun so their other friends are probably very fun too. You’re wearing black jeans with a black top and a colorful shirt over it and make up all done, all your friends in dresses but you were used to it and so were they. 

“So we’re going to wait on each other at the parking lot and from there we’ll go further together” Kelly says as all of you pile into her car, you double check to see if you have your keys, money and phone. Everyone hums as an okay. The car ride is filled with music blasting through the speakers and everyone singing along. You sit in the back seat with Melissa while Kelly drives and Sarah is sitting shotgun. 

“So who are we going to meet tonight?” You finally ask, wanting to at least know some names of the girls you were meeting tonight.

“Well, I know Ciara is coming, Lynn and Michelle” Kelly answers with a turn of her head but something is off on her face, she’s smirking for some reason.

“Okay, then what is that smirk for?” You frown, She slows down the car and drives onto the parking lot. You see three girls already waiting there, one immediately stands out with long blonde hair and dress in all black. Looks like someone you might connect with since she seems to be the only one from them to wear pants and not a dress.

“Well, Lynn is gay so” Kelly shrugs as she parks the car and the fact that she’s into girls changes a whole lot for you. Whenever you meet someone that’s cute you’re not too bothered by it but when they appear to be gay, like you, it puts a lot of pressure on you and you just want things to go well. You don’t know how to respond to that so when Kelly stops the engine and everyone gets out to meet the other girls.

When you reach them everyone starts to hug everyone and introduces each other, when you reach Lynn she wives shyly which is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen so you both go in for a hug.

“Nice to meet you” You smile at her and eventually at the two other girls, Ciara and Michelle. 

The club is one block away so you start walking and talking about what everyone does in life so you tell them that you work in a record shop in which Lynn starts to walk next to you.

“That seems like such a fun job to have, do you sell all types of music?” She asks and you nod in response and before you can open your mouth Ciara pipes in

“Lynn shut up you literally have the best job out of all of us” So you frown and loo at Lynn,

“What do you do then?” You asks and you notice a faint blush on her pale cheeks.

“I ehh, I am in a band, we’re called Pvris” She admits and you recognise the name from somewhere.

“I heard that name before, could it be that I sell your record?” 

“Yeah it’s possible, let’s change the subject please” She laughs nervously and Michelle and Ciara laugh loudly

“She doesn’t like talking about it but they’re amazing though” Michelle winks at Lynn, turning even more red.

“I think it’s cool you’re in a band” You smile at her before starting to talk about other topics, like your job. Lynn asks about what music you like selling the most and what you listen to so you name some bands like Tonight Alive, We Are The In Crowd and Hands Like Houses.

“Thank god, all these idiots are into mainstream music so whenever I put music on they’re all so clueless!” Lynn exclaims right as you reach the club, showing the bouncer your ID’s.

“Same here, that’s why I never get to shotgun because it’d be only me singing in the car” You laugh and Lynn joins in. You like talking to her a lot and notice that you’ve got a little bit in common.

Once inside, first things first, you go get drinks so as you ask everyone’s order everyone gets some cocktail but Lynn and you get red wine, for some reason you laugh to yourself about that. You don’t feel the pressure anymore because you genuinely get along with her and the others but you knew that before. Friends of Kelly and Sarah are automatically friends of yours. 

Throughout the night you get to know everyone better and better and things start to loosen up as most of you get a bit tipsy except for the drivers. The music courses through your bodies and everyone is moving to it smoothly, well, that’s what you all think cause after a couple of drinks everyone thinks they’re a good dancer.

“I’m gonna get more drinks, everyone want the same?” You throw into the group and they all nod and give a thumbs up. As you turn around Lynn comes up behind you and says in your ear,

“I’ll come help carry” Which you hadn’t even thought about because you couldn’t possibly carry that many drinks but also the fact that Lynn just whispered in your ear makes your stomach turn. You really started to like her because honestly what’s not to like.

At the bar you stand next to each other as you wait for the bartender to make your drinks. The proximity suddenly making you nervous, making you tap your fingers on the counter. Just because she’s gay doesn’t mean she’s into you but you honestly thought she was beautiful and funny and you had noticed that when she’s thinking she twitches her nose which is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

A hand rests on top of yours, snapping you out of your day dream. Looking from the hand to it’s owner you see Lynn smiling at you.

“You’re making me even more nervous by doing that” She laughs and you laugh to but then wait, even more nervous? Is she nervous around you?

“Even more nervous?” You ask, this time turning more towards her, the blush is already creeping up on her cheeks. You see her trying to look for words and her nose twitches again.

“Well, I think you’re beautiful and I get really nervous about being around beautiful girls and I don’t know if you know this but I’m into girls so” This time you put your hand on hers to stop her from rambling.

“I know, don’t worry. I think you’re beautiful too” You smile widely, her words registering in your head. She thinks you’re beautiful, this wonderful creature thinks you’re beautiful.

“Oh thank god, I didn’t want to fuck this up cause I really like talking to you and you’re really funny” Lynn smiles back so you tell her that you feel the same way which you honestly do. The drinks arrive and you take four drinks as Lynn takes three and carefully make your way over to the others and you already see Kelly eyeing you curiously.

The night goes by just like it has before, but slightly drunk now. Everyone is laughing and talking and still slightly dancing as the way to the car is being made. Lynn and you trailing behind the others, slightly more quiet than the others. Your hands occasionally brushing against each other as you walk side by side, butterflies erupting in your stomach. When eventually her hand slips in yours and you squeeze her hand in response, showing her that you don’t mind.

The parking lot comes in sight and right before you’re going to turn the corner, Lynn pulls you back, out of sight from all the others as they keep walking towards the car. You’re with your back against the wall and face to face with Lynn who has a slight smile on her face which you return. You kinda know where this is heading so you’re about to pull it out of her.

“Is there something you want from me?” You say softly but a smile wide on your face in which Lynn shakes her head. She steps forward and places her hand on the side of your face, her lips barely touching yours, you can feel her breath on your lips, your heart racing. 

“I think it’s appropriate if we exchange phone numbers” Lynn whispers and leans forward so your lips connect to hers. Her lips soft and testing the waters so you press into her and kiss her back a little harder, your hands grabbing her closer by her shirt.

“YOU GUYS ARE CUTE BUT CAN YOU STOP MAKING OUT, MICHELLE IS ABOUT TO PUKE SO WE NEED TO GOOO” Ciara yells from around the corner in which you both pull away laughing and exchange phone numbers as soon as you reach the car. You are definitely going to see Lynn more often.

Is this what you expected? I kinda like it? Idk, if it’s crap I would still post it so HERE YOU GO

Peggy’s granddaughter Steve Rogers x Reader Part 4

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Featuring: Tony Stark

Word count: 2362 words

Warnings: none i think

Tags: none.

Summary: after ignoring Steve for two weeks he finally shows up at your apartment

Notes: this is the last part of this story. I hope you liked it!

Originally posted by forassgard

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3


When Steve woke up he felt the worst hangover so far hitting him. Damn Thor and damn his special demi God drink. The only good thing was the he remembered every single thing he did. With you. A smile appeared on his lips and he turned on the bed, waiting to see there still sleeping but he found an empty bed. Where were you? Maybe you were in the bathroom?

“(Y/N)?” He said out loud, supporting himself on his elbows. Nothing. Silence. 

With a lump on his throat he woke up, noticing that all your clothes were gone except for your ripped blouse. He took it from the floor and looked into his closet to find a t-shirt and finding out you had taken one. His favourite. Where you really gone? After what happened? You couldn’t be that type of girl. Maybe you were just having breakfast downstairs? Unsure, he walked out of the bedroom somehow knowing you were gone. 

“Morning Cap”, Tony said from the couch as soon as he was downstairs. He looked around expecting to see you and then looked at Tony. “She… She left a note”, he said pointing at the bar.

Steve walked towards the bar and took the piece of paper with your handwriting. With a frown he looked at Tony, not believing a word. 

“I’m sorry, man”, Tony said with a sigh.

Steve took a deep breath and threw the paper away before going back upstairs. He really thought you were different. Last night meant something to him and he thought it meant something to you as well. Obviously, he was wrong. So damn wrong. You just left, leaving him completely alone on that bed and still he couldn’t hate you. 


It had been two weeks since that night. Two weeks of you thinking about Steve the whole time, two weeks without hearing from him, two weeks trying to ignore the t-shirt you stole from him and was now folded in your closet and two weeks not being brave enough to take the phone and call him or just show up at the tower to apologise. Somehow you expected him to call you or text you but deep inside you knew he wouldn’t do such thing. After all, you were the one who left. You were the one who screwed up the best night you ever had and the chance of real happiness. 

You tried to focus on your work, on your articles, and on the most ordinary things in order to keep him away from your thoughts. Sarah also tried to help you. She took you out every time you let her, she showed up at your door with food, ice cream, movies or any way of entertainment but it just didn’t work. Somehow he was always there, at the back on your mind, no matter what you did. Every time you took your phone you expected a text from him, when you went to work you wanted him to be at the door waiting for you. But that never happened and you were starting to accept that you had just a one night stand with the best guy on this planet. 

“Damn, I’m so stupid Sarah”, you sighed.

The two of you were at her apartments, watching Friends all over again. It was your favourite TV show ever but not even Chandler’s sarcastic jokes were helpful. She paused the chapter and looked at you with a sigh. 

“Why don’t you call him? You have his number and you’re obviously dying to talk to him and apologise or…whatever you want to do”, she said. 

“No! I can’t do it over the phone. I’m not 16”, you frowned looking at the TV. 

“And you won’t go to the tower, either. Tell me, Einstein, any brilliant idea? Maybe you should just take a pigeon in Central Park and send him a message with the bird”, she said sarcastic. 

“Shut up”, you said with a sigh. “I know I should do it, alright? I just… I know he hates me right now and I don’t think I can handle that from him”, you said looking at your hands.

“How do you know he hates you?” She asked. All you could do was shrugging. “Exactly, you don’t know and you won’t figure it out by sitting there and cry. But I have already told you this a million times and here you are, so I don’t know what else you want to hear”, she added. 

You looked at her not knowing what to say. She was completely right about everything. She had been trying to help you, giving you any advice she could think of but you always managed to come up with any excuse. You knew you were just being a coward. 

“You’re right”, you sighed nodding and bite your lip. “Ok, I’m going to the tower”, you said getting up.

Sarah looked at you, surprised that for once her words actually worked on you. Smiling she got up.

“Wait, what if they’re on a mission?”, you said looking at her again.

“Then you’ll go another day! Go girl before you change your mind!” She said pushing you to the door. “Just be careful if he gets mad. You know, he has super strength and stuff” she said as you put on your shoes.

“Thank you Sarah”, you said sarcastic as you opened the door. “That was really…” You stopped talking as you saw someone waiting at your door. “Steve?” He turned around as he heard your voice. 

“That was really Steve?” Sarah laughed coming to the door as well but stopped as he saw the superhero. “Holy shit.” She mumbled. Gulping you looked at her. “Oh no, you’re not coming back in here. Go”, she said pushing you outside and closing the door but she opened again “Hi Steve!” 

With that she definitely closed the door, leaving you completely alone and speechless. You turned around again and looked at him. Now you had no choice but to face him, face what you did and give him an apology and an explanation, praying for it to be enough. As you walked to your door he didn’t stop looking at you but he didn’t say anything either. You opened the door to your apartment and let him walk in first. 

How did he even find you? You never told him where you lived. Just to get some more time you kicked off your shoes and left the keys in the bowl next to the door. When you looked at him you expected him to be looking around the place but he was just standing there, hands in his pockets, looking at you completely serious. No emotions on his face. A cold mask where once was tenderness and sweetness. 

What were you supposed to say?

“Do you want water or…something?” You asked but your voice betrayed you and it came out in a whisper. But he heard you. 

“No”, was all he said.

Taking a shaky breath you nodded and walked down the three stairs to come a bit closer to him. But instead of stopping you walked to the fridge to have some water and also so you didn’t have to look at him. 

“How did you find me?” You asked not looking at him. Speaking was easier if you didn’t have his eyes locked with yours. 

“Tony helped me”, he replied. His voice was cold as ice but how could you blame him?

You put the bottle back in the fridge and closed it to finally look at him. Even though you knew what you had to say you just couldn’t find the words to do so. And the fact that your heart was racing didn’t help at all. Your mind was full of memories you had been trying to avoid. Memories of his hands on your body, of his lips on yours, of his eyes literally lighting up when you said his name and of his playful smile. 

“Steve, I…” You tried to start but the words didn’t come up.

“You left. That’s what you did”, he said. You closed your eyes and looked down. 

“I know…” You whispered and bite your lip. 

“And all you left was a note with some lame excuse that not even you believed”, he added. His words were like knives one after another. 

“I know…” You said again.You knew that wasn’t enough but you honestly didn’t know how to say what you wanted to say. How sorry you were, how you felt… You had it there, inside of you but you just didn’t know how to take it out.

“That’s all? I’ve spent the last week tracking you down, not sleeping, just for you to say that you know?” He snapped. “I really thought you were different (Y/N)” he added.

When you looked up you saw him walking to the door. No. He couldn’t go. If he left you wouldn’t get another chance. He wouldn’t let you talk anymore. This was your only chance. 

“I’m sorry!” You said moving from your spot to stand where he was standing just a few seconds ago. “Please, don’t go”, you begged. He stopped but didn’t turn to look at you. “I shouldn’t have left. I regret it the minute I did it but I freaked out when I woke up. I just couldn’t face it at the moment because…” You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. “You were Peggy’s first love and I know she was yours, and she was my grandmother who passed away just two months ago. And you and I just met, got drunk and had sex. It was an amazing night, the best of my life and I swear I never felt more alive but it became too much when I woke up. I…didn’t know how to handle it, I know leaving wasn’t the best option but… I didn’t know what to do”, you said. 

As you were talking he turned around to look at you, making you feel so small partly because he was taller, partly because you were barefoot and partly because he had gone to the top of those three little stairs that know seemed like a mountain between you two. 

“You could’ve called me, or came to the tower to talk about this instead of hiding, don’t you think?” He said. 

“I was scared, terrified of the idea of you hating me.” You admitted looking down again. “I’m a coward, I know, and I know you hate me”, you added. 

The silence between you two just grew bigger as you stopped talking. It was slowly killing you, which made no sense but you really had developed feelings for this guy in front of you. You really had tried not think about it or about him but now that he was in front of you, you just couldn’t deny it. It was there. Like a huge red balloon. About to explode. And there was nothing you could do because you had been that stupid girl who had screwed everything up before it even begun. 

“I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to hate you, you know? I tried to forget about you, about how it felt to have you in my arms, but every time I closed the eyes there you were.” He said. You looked up. He still hadn’t moved so you just stood there, controlling your breathing the best you could. “Smiling at me, kissing me, sleeping… And I couldn’t. I needed an explanation because I just couldn’t believe you were one of those girls.” Finally he moved and walked towards you. “So I told Tony and he found you, he found your address in two days and still took me a week to come here and face you. Because I was also afraid of you being something I didn’t want you to be”, he said now standing in front of you. 

“And what I am?” You asked looking up at him.

“You’re not Peggy. Not at all. You may look like her but that’s all.” He said. “Yes, I loved her but (Y/N)… That was more than 70 years ago. I moved on. It took me sometime but I did and so did she. And then there you were, out of nowhere, lighting up the room when you were in your darkest moment”, he placed some hair out of your face. “That makes you unique, you know?” He whispered.

“But I left…” You whispered looking down but he moved your head up.

“And now I know why. I forgive you.” He said. As he said those words you let out a shaky breath and closed your eyes. Thank you. When you opened them again there he was, the man you met, with bright blue eyes and a warm smile just for you. “I know we barely know each other but…”  

Before he could keep on talking you stood on your toes and pulled him towards you to kiss him by grabbing the collar of his jacket. Immediately, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him as he kissed you back. 

“You know you owe me a t-shirt, right?” He chuckled against your lips, making you laugh as you two kept on kissing like there was no tomorrow. 

You didn’t know what you had done to deserve this moment, to deserve him, but you knew you weren’t going to let him go easily. You were going to fight for this and you didn’t care about not knowing him. You two had plenty of time for that. 

“I’ve been dreaming about this since the moment I fell asleep with you”, he said making your heart melt a bit more. “Shall we take this to the bed?” He whispered pressing your foreheads together.

You pulled away and taking his hand you walked to your bedroom where he just didn’t gave you time to mentally prepare yourself, he just turned around and kissed you picking you up from the floor and walking to the bed for the second time. But this time you weren’t moving from his side anytime soon. 

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #179 - Scooby-Doo (2002)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

1) According to IMDb:

The idea of a live action Scooby-Doo movie languished in “development hell” throughout most of the 1990s. In 1996, Jim Carrey was attached to play Shaggy and Sara Gilbert was attached to play Velma. At one point, director Kevin Smith was attached, but later dropped out. Later, Mike Myers accepted the project and was the one who most often had his name linked to it (Myers’ friend Janeane Garofalo was supposedly tapped by Myers to play Velma). Eventually, even Myers had to leave the project.

This film was originally set to have a much darker tone, essentially poking fun at the original series, and was set for a PG-13 rating. Shaggy was set to be a stoner, Velma and Daphne had a side relationship, and there were many marijuana references. According to Sarah Michelle Gellar, after the cast had signed on, there was a change and the film became more family-friendly.

2) The Case of the Luna Ghost

Originally posted by evilartist

The Luna Ghost was heavily featured in promotional material, to the point where it seemed like it would be the primary antagonist of the film. This is likely because visually the Luna Ghost is comparable with some of the best monsters from the original run of cartoons. From a storytelling standpoint the prologue wastes no time in establishing the tone and characters which - in my opinion - is actually pretty spot on. It doesn’t waste time in telling us, “This is Fred, this is Daphne, this is Velma,” because you either are familiar with these characters or will figure out who they are very quickly. Also the prologue plays out like the end of a Scooby-Doo episode, where the group tries to execute a plan to catch the villain but it ends up failing.

3) Wait, that’s…that’s Pamela Anderson? AS PAMELA ANDERSON!?

I did NOT catch that as a kid, although in some ways it makes sense. In “The New Scooby-Doo Movies” there was ALWAYS a celebrity guest star who worked on the case with theme (Don Knotts, Phyllis Diller, Sandy Ducan, Batman & Robin, etc.).

4) For whatever problems this film has (but more on those later), they get the characters VERY right. Writer James Gunn (yes, writer/director of both Guardians of the Galaxy films) 100% nails the film’s characterization of Shaggy, Scooby, Fred, Velma, and Daphne. Even when he makes them different from how they were in the show (notably Daphne and Fred) it FEELS right. It feels in line with who the characters are/were in the show and like a natural extension of those people. The reason I enjoy this film as much as I do is because in so many ways they FEEL like the cartoon characters through and through.

5) There are surprisingly deep life lessons between this film and its sequel.

Originally posted by pisces-history

6) Matthew Lillard as Shaggy.

Originally posted by bossygifs

Honestly, Lillard gives the standout performance of the film (although Linda Cardellini’s Velma is VERY close). Like all the actors he is able to support the characterization found in the script with a true to form performance, but he is by far the most chameleonic. You can see shades of Freddie Prinze Jr and Sarah Michelle Gellar in their performance, but Lillard IS Shaggy. He gives off the heart/warmth - as well as the occasional stoner vibe - associated with the character since the late 60s. There is not an ounce of ego in his performance, being totally honest and committed. AND he acts with the CGI Scooby incredibly well. When working with a character who is not actually on set (namely: an animated one) it is important to see them and not see through them. Through all of Lillard’s scenes you believe Scooby is there with him. There’s not a doubt in your mind that he was on set, it’s not like he was added with CGI in post production or anything. And considering Shaggy’s relationship with Scooby is the heart of the film (and that Lillard shares the most scenes with the great dane), the fact that he’s able to nail this is all the better.

7) There are a number of deleted scenes in this film which I think are actually NEEDED for it to make sense in a lot of ways. Namely: when Fred, Velma, and Daphne meet at the airport and we get a juxtaposition of how they’re not as great in life as they say they are.

8) Sarah Michelle Gellar as Daphne.

Originally posted by killuarke

This is the first time I’ve watched this film since having become a fan (and completing) “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”, so seeing the lead from one of my favorite show in that new light adds a level of fun to the movie. In the cartoons Daphne is not always the most consistently written character (although more modern entries into the franchise do better with this), often being relegated to the role of damsel in distress. But writer Gunn and actress Gellar are able to make Daphne more than that without disrespecting the source material. She’s unique, has her own personality which isn’t always true for the original show. Gellar adds warmth, humor, and gusto to the performance, while her striving against her own role as damsel in distress makes for surprisingly interesting conflict.

9) Wait, ISLA FISHER IS IN THIS!?

Originally posted by scoobycloos

(GIF originally posted by @scoobycloos)

Originally posted by wish-for-the-moon

10) The gag above is a good example of how this film was originally meant to be darker and poke fun at the original source material. While the movie ends up much more family friendly, some of these jokes do find their way into the final cut.

11) Rowan Atkinson as Emile Mondavarious is an occasionally fun role (more so for the reveal at the end than anything else), but unfortunately the comedic talent doesn’t get too much of a time to shine. He’s fine it what he does I just wish he could do more.

Originally posted by stevenscrivello

12) Linda Cardellini as Velma.

Originally posted by theperksofperkiness

Favorably comparable to to Matthew Lillard as Shaggy, Cardellini similarly is able to 100% abandon any sense of herself/ego to support the strong character writing. You don’t SEE Cardellini, you only see Velma. She is able to embrace the intelligence and work with the occasionally cartoonish tone of the character/film in a way which never comes across as annoying but is instead a treat to fans of the cartoon. Also able to play Velma’s occasional insecurities well, Cardellini shines as Velma in a standout performance.

13) I get a big kick out of some of the jokes this film makes.

Bartender: “We got a Mr. Doo here? I got a call for a Mr. Doo?”

[Random guy stands up]

Melvin: “Melvin Doo?”

Bartender: “Nah. Scooby.”

14) Splitting up Mystery Inc. for the first chunk of the movie on Spooky Island makes the film a little scattered from the beginning. We never commit to one point of view or the other and this is another case where a deleted scene on the DVD (I believe it’s called Nightmare Boulevard) helps to slow down the pacing and establish some things better. Because I can hardly fault the script for equating in this film’s structural problems (as I haven’t read the script on its own), but it seems like every deleted scenes in the DVD would have improved the film. So the fact they’re cut is disappointing.

15) I actually really dig the sense of place Spooky Island conveys. Its fascinating, supported by a unique art style and conveying a sense of tone which makes the movie pleasantly macabre.

16)

Shaggy: “Like, Scoob and me don’t do castles. Because castles have paintings with eyes that watch you, and suits of armor you think is a statue with a guy inside that follows you every time you turn around!”

This all happened in the first episode of “Scooby Doo” ever.

17) I have a head canon here. So Daphne does the usual bit of, “I’ll give you a Scooby Snack if you go into the spooky castle and be detectives.” Except she was planning on solving the mystery by herself and she came to Spooky Island expecting to be solo. I think she carries Scooby Snacks around out of habit. As a reminder for the friends she used to have, it just so happens that right now they’re actually useful.

18) Freddie Prinze Jr. as Fred

Originally posted by captainshanyn

Much like Daphne, the film takes the occasionally flat character of Fred and builds on who he is in the cartoon to make someone who is unique. Fred is utterly buffoonish in the most fun of ways, but he is still human and sympathetic. Prinze Jr is able to make Fred a jerk when he has to be a jerk, but we’re still rooting for him and we still see that he’s Fred from the cartoon. Just with more of a personality.

19) Oh Fred…

Originally posted by kpfun

(GIF originally posted by @kpfun)

Originally posted by mulder-scully-gifs

20) The brief set piece of the Spooky Castle ride gone haywire is kinda fun to watch. Slapstick, madcap, energetic, but it makes me understand why the ride was shut down. It’s lethal.

21) I think one of the reasons this film is not so well received by critics is because the mystery can be confusing. Each time I watch it I have to remind myself how one seemingly random piece of information connects to the other (which I think is the victim of some deleted scenes), but here’s what I got: “Mondavarious” is planning world domination after having taken over Spooky Island from the real Mondavarious because the island has demons just living below the surface (I don’t how “Mondavarious” learned this but whatever). He uses the park as a front while at night he lets the demons posses the college kids. He needs to teach the demons HOW to act like “normal” teenagers so he creates an instructional video. His reach is far, even infecting the Coast Guard so no one can help people out on the island. But apparently just by knocking over the vat of souls everyone around the world is cured and we’re assuming all the monsters burst into flames. But why does “Mondavarious” want to take over the world? Just because he’s evil? And why would these super powerful demons let him lead them? I think I’m just going to move on.

22) Did we really need to have a burp/fart off in this film?

23) Mystery Inc. hiding in the armor is very cartoonish, which I mean in a compliment as it feels like it’s right out of the cartoon.

(This was the best image I could find of the scene. It conveys what’s happening well enough, I think.)

Heck, it is at this point in the film when they start really working together as a team again. Which is fun for us as the audience ot watch.

24) Okay, Velma’s boy friend always looked like Orlando Bloom to me. Am I just crazy?

25) Scrappy-Doo.

Scrappy is almost exclusively despised in the Scooby-Doo fandom and this film WORKS with that. As I understand it, James Gunn wanted to make sure Scrappy never appeared in a piece of Scooby-Doo media again. And outside of jokes about the character, he never has.

In the film Scrappy is portrayed as bossy, arrogant, and a general pain in the butt (as he was perceived by the fandom). He even pees on Daphne in what Fred calls, “marking [his] territory!” before getting kicked off the team. And potentially the best part is this:

Velma: “He wasn’t even a puppy! He had a glandular disorder!”

26) Apparently in the original script, Velma and Daphne were having a relationship on the side. This deleted scene plays into that more than anything else.

Is it wrong that I ship Velma & Daphne? Even if it is, I don’t care.

27) The CGI for the monsters is - at times - sort of lacking. I think this may be a key reason that the Luna Ghost was heavily marketed instead of the actual demons which make up the majority of the film: he’s more interesting to look at.

28) As a kid, I LOVED “Man with the Hex”. That songs did and still gets me pumped, so I always smile when it plays in this film under a chase scene. Also, the use of the song during the previously mentioned chase is very in style with the original cartoon (which would often use songs by The Monkees during chases).

29) It’s fun seeing Daphne stepping up to take charge in the absence of Fred and Velma. Although unfortunately the deleted scenes and lack of focus the film has means we don’t get to see this as much as I would like.

30) Another example of deleted scenes making the plot confusing: it is never established that Velma is possessed, we never know why there’s a random scream from somewhere in the island to tip off demon Fred that something is wrong. But a deleted scene establishes this. Making me wonder: why was it even deleted?

31) While I do love James Gunn’s characterization and tone in the script, could the film not come up with a better reason for Shaggy & Scooby to have conflict instead of them fighting over a girl?

32) Similar to note #31, the scene which established Daphne getting possessed by a demon is deleted. So we just see her kidnapped then Shaggy finds her head in a vat. That’s it. Another instance of a deleted scene which should’ve probably been kept in.

33) And here I was thinking Shaggy was the only one of the gang who dabbled in hallucinogenics.

Fred [when Shaggy is holding his disembodies ectoplasm head]: “Listen man; someone must’ve spiked my root beer last night. Talk me down man. Talk! Me! Down!”

34) It’s kind of fun seeing Sarah Michelle Gellar perform as her then-boyfriend-future-husband Freddie Prinze Jr and seeing Freddie do the same for his then-girlfriend-future-wife. Although I must say Prinze does a better job playing Gellar than vice versa, but that’s not to mean she isn’t good playing her partner.

35) So Scooby-Doo theory is that it’s always the first person they talk to. And guess why the first person they talked to was when the gang arrived to Spooky Island: “Mondavarious”.

36) This hits me harder than I expected it to.

Shaggy [trying to save Scooby’s life after they fought]: “Who’s your best buddy?”

Scooby: “Raggy?”

Shaggy: “That’s right. And who’s my best buddy in the whole wide world?”

Scooby: “Rooby-Roo?”

37) Let’s just just take a moment to appreciate the fact that this movie decided to make Scrappy-Doo the bad guy.

THEY MADE FREAKING SCRAPPY THE BAD GUY! Oh my god, I love that so much more at twenty-one than I did when I was six. Although, unfortunately Tim Curry turned down the role of Mondavarious because Scrappy was in the film (THAT’S how much Scrappy is hated).

38) The “Buffy” fan in me smiles every time I get to see Sarah Michelle Gellar get her martial arts on.

39) It is really satisfying - if a little expected - that Fred allows Velma to take credit for the plan which captures Scrappy.

40) File this one under “Jokes I Didn’t Get As A Kid”.

Scrappy: “If not for you meddling sons of -”

[He’s cut off.]


So I know this film isn’t exactly Oscar worthy. The structure is a mess due to messy editing, some of the humor is infantile, it’s a little scatted. But you know what? I like it. I’m a fan of the franchise so watching this film is fun. It makes me feel like a kid again. The characters are spot on in both the writing and acting, the tone is fun, and it’s just a good 90ish minutes to shut your mind off too. If you’re a fan of the series, there’s a good chance you’ll be a fan of this film.

Sarah Smiles? What about Me?

{Imagine: Reader is in love with Brendon but he’s dating Sarah so she’s sad. 

Request: Yes / Can you do an imagine where the reader gets heartbroken when she finds out the Brendon is dedicating Sarah Smiles to Sarah, because she’s in love with him.

Word count: 942

I hope this one gets more notes than my last imagine….unles I’m just a “one hit wonder” XD. My ask box is open guys. Don’t be afraid to send me something!

Imagine coming up *ding ding*}

{Not my gif. Found on google.}


(Part 2)

“Hey guys good morning!” You say with a happy and bright smile on your lips. Spencer goes up to hug you, as does Brendon. You and Brendon hug for a bit longer than you had with Spencer. “Hey Y/N, how have you been lately.” Brendon asks.

You had, had a crush on Brendon for a long time. More like since you joined the band. Which was way back when Brent had asked you, and you guys were doing Blink-182 covers. 

Brent was your brother. So when he heard you singing to Blink-182 he just had to ask you to join their little band. After Brent left, you decided to stay with the band not only did you really like Brendon but you had loved singing.

Your ‘daydream’ is interrupted by the snapping of fingers in front of your face. Brendon and Spencer were staring at you. “You ok Y/N? You zoned out on us.” Spencer asks. Brendon puts a his hand on your shoulder and squeezed it gently with a worried look in his eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just zoned out like you said, not the first time it happens.” You say laughing nervously.

“Are you sure you can record today Y/N? We can always reschedule.” Brendon says.

You shake your head. “Guys! I’m FINE.” You say emphasizing ‘fine’. “Can we please start recording?” you ask.

“Yeah, sorry. Okay, Brendon has a song that he wrote and dedicated it to a special girl.” Spence says while wiggling his eyebrows. My heart drops a bit at hearing the he dedicated it to a girl. ‘Maybe it’s dedicated to me’ You thought, but you knew in your mind that, that would never happen.

Brendon looks at you with a shy smile. You live for these moments. When he acts like a little boy who’s happy. You just wish that you could witness them all day, everyday. “That’s fine. Who wants to start singing?” You ask with a smile on your face.

“Brendon can start since it’s for his girl.” Spence says. “Oh, okay.” He says nervously. He steps into the sound booth. Spencer Starts the music. Brendon stares at you while he’s singing.

I was fine, just a guy living on my own,
Waiting for the sky to fall.
Then you called and changed it all, doll.

Velvet lips and the eyes to pull me in.
We both know you’d already win.
Mm, your original sin.

You fooled me once with your eyes, now, honey,
You fooled me twice with your lies, and I say,

As he sings he’s locked eyes with you. As he continues singing the smile on your face starts to get bigger. Actually thinking that he’s singing to you, maybe he does like you. 

Sarah smiles like Sarah doesn’t care,
She lives in her world, so unaware.
Does she know that my destiny lies with her?

Sarah,
(Sarah, Sarah, Sarah)
Oh Sarah,
(Sarah)
Are you saving me?

Waking up to a kiss and you’re on your way.
I’d really hoped that you would stay,
But you left and went your own way, babe.
I don’t mind, take your time, I got things to do
Besides sit-around-and-wait-for-you.
Oh and I hope you do too.


Your smile suddenly drops along with your heart. 

Sarah? Who’s Sarah? 

You immediately look away from Brendon to Spencer, who is giving you a sad smile. Spencer, aside from Brent, knew about your crush on Brendon. As your eyes fill with tears, you get up from your chair and start to get your things together. 

Brendon sees this and immediately runs out of the booth. “Y/N where you going? I thought you were liking the song so far?” He asks. Your grab your rucksack and throw it over your shoulder. 

“I have to go. Uh, Brent just called me. He wants me to go see him as soon as possible.” You say with your voice cracking. You don’t dare look at him in the eyes, knowing all to well that if you look at Brendon in the eye you would breakdown and tell him that you loved right then and there. You didn’t want that.

“Oh okay. Family first right?” He says a bit deflated. All while this is happening Spencer is just sitting in his chair wanting to escape the awkwardness of this entire conversation.

You nod and turn to the door. Right when your about to walk out of the studio you say over your shoulder, “Have fun with Sarah.” With that you close the door behind you.


You Got the first flight out to Nevada. 

As soon as your plane lands you are the first one to get off. You walk to baggage claim with tears in your eyes. You grab your stuff and walk out of the airport to hail a cab. 

“Ahhhhh I love you so much Brandon!!” You hear a high pitch scream. You turn instantly, mistaking Brandon for Brendon. You shake your head knowing that you are only feeling this way is because you are in love with someone who could never love you back.

You finally are able to get a cab. “Where to miss?” The cab driver asks. You give him the address to where Brent lives. 

Upon arriving at Brent’s, you thank the cab driver and pay him what you owe him. “Thanks” you say with a very small smile. “No problem.” and with that he drives off to his next customer. 

You walk up to Brent’s door finally letting the tears you’ve been holding for hours fall. Knocking while sobbing is not a pretty picture. You hear the locks being undone. The door opens to reveal your older brother, who you could confide in for anything. 

“He loves someone else.” You sob out to him. He says no words to you, only wraps his arms around you and walks you inside. 

This morning I had a strange realisation about my time in this fandom. I ended up close to tears (in fact I did shed one or two) yet I was happy. Despite all the shit that has gone on here in the last two years I felt okay, I felt an odd sense of pride and even awe. Yes, there was indeed something very melancholy about it, but somehow that did not overpower the joy that existed there too.

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Since we now entered 2017 at my place as well, I think it’s about time to finally post what I was planning to do for quite a while now!

Other than a follow forever (speaking of which, I don’t think this is even necessary, like, once I follow you, I’ll always follow you, sooooo), I just wanted to thank every single blog I’m following for making 2016 a quite pleasant year for me! I haven’t been on this blog for a long time, yet I always had a lot of fun when going online and that’s thanks to you and only you, so I hope that with this post I can give some of my happiness to you and give you a nice start into 2017, even if it’s just a little!

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From Subtext to Canon - Farewells on SVU, Warehouse 13, and Person of Interest

Ugh, the agony and ecstasy of this week’s Person of Interest for Shoot fans!  I’m still seriously traumatized two days later.  But - But: at least we got canon - canon words, canon actions, canon KISS.

Once upon a time, Alex Cabot and Olivia Benson on Law and Order: SVU were one of the hugest femslash fandoms.  And that was even before their launch-a-million-more-fanfics episode 5.4 Loss, where they had the most intense goodbye scene ever on that show and even non-shippers thought, “Wait, what *is* this?”

2003: Alex and Olivia, Law and Order: SVU

[gif sans caption from MIFPandOra]

Then we got Myka Bering and Helena “H.G.” Wells on Warehouse 13, and that was a gut-wrenching almost-canon relationship involving end-of-the-world scenarios on a regular basis.  Helena gives up her life to save Myka in 3.13 The Greatest Gift, and in Helena’s last moments, they look at each other like doomed never-were-quite-lovers:

2011: Bering and Wells, Warehouse 13

[gif sans caption from fuckyeahhgandmyka.tumblr.com]

Then the show ruined what could have been by sticking H.G. with a guy and a kid far away from Myka and the amazing life they could have had together as Warehouse agents, and worse, pairing Myka up with fellow agent Pete.

And so, even though we’re agonizing over Shaw being at the very least gravely wounded (and knowing we’re not going to be seeing her for a while, ‘cos Sarah Shahi and twins pregnancy), before all that, we got a real conversation between them about their relationship.  One where Shaw told Root her being “hot” was something Shaw “greatly admired” (hell, yeah!).  Where Shaw basically said that she had been pushing Root away all this time not because she wasn’t attracted to her (and definitely *not* because she didn’t care about her and wouldn’t, say, die protecting her or something), but because the two of them together would be too explosive, volatile, out of control (and Root smiled her smile and replied that, hey, that sounded just perfect to her). 

And then, in the moment when Shaw is about to go to her almost certain death - making the sacrifice that the whole chess backstory was foreshadowing - they look at each other, really look at each other without smirks, without banter, and Shaw grabs Root and kisses her hard, like she means it with every fiber of her body, even though it’s also a tactic.  Looks at Root like it’s the last time she’ll ever be able to do it, like maybe she finally regrets that it took her so long to kiss her in the first place.  And Root’s face and reaction afterwards - I can’t even (or maybe I can, but in another post). 

The point is - this was another gutwrenching farewell between two women whose relationship has been read as romantic by many of us - but we didn’t have to settle for subtext like Alex/Olivia or Bering/Wells.  We got the canon I honestly didn’t think we would.  I don’t even have to caption the gifs, 'cos what we saw speaks for itself.  (And props to Ramin Djawadi for the amazing score in the whole final sequence of the episode.)

2015: Root and Shaw, Person of Interest

[gifs from bo-x-lauren.tumblr.com]

(Now Shaw - please please live, and come back some time while Root’s still around, okay?)

Personal Imagine for Sarah

Imagine: “Harry! Harry are you dating her!?”
“Harry, how long have you two been together?!”
“Harry what’s it like dating a model?”
“Excuse me, Sarah? Can you answer some questions for us?”
“How do you feel about your fans hating on your model girlfriend?”
The paps all shout at you, shoving their microphones and cameras in your faces as you and Harry push through the crowd to the waiting black car. You grab onto Harry’s arm to keep your balance as people throw themselves at you, but this proves to be a bad idea when the paparazzi practically explodes in excitement, snapping picture after picture of you until Harry helps you get safely into the car. “Whew, that was worse than usual!” You exclaim, brushing your now-messy curls out of your face. “They think we’re secretly dating.” Harry mumbles, gently picking up a stray strand you had missed and putting it into place away from your face. “They’re gonna keep bothering us until we admit it.”
“But we’re not dating.” You point out.
“I know that.” Harry smiles. “But they don’t.”
“Well they don’t know anything.” You giggle. “Last week they thought you died in a tragic car accident, remember?”
Harry chuckles as he settles back into the leather seats. “Yeah, I don’t know where the tabloids got that one from. It’s pretty crazy.”
“Just like the rumor that we’re dating.” You add as you lean back too. Harry frowns and looks at you. “What do you mean?”
“What? C'mon you’ve got to admit that the idea of me being your girlfriend is pretty crazy.”
Harry sits up again, looking intensely at you. “Why is it crazy?”
You look down, suddenly uncomfortable by Harry’s gaze. “I dunno.” You mumble. “I mean, we’re best friends…right?”
Harry looks at you for a bit longer before finally nodding and leaning back again. “Yeah. Right. Best friends.”
You’re both silent for a while. “But say we did like each other. You know, as more than friends.” You say quietly. “That would be crazy, right?”
“Yeah. Really crazy.”
“I mean, you’re Harry Styles. You’re a member of like, the world’s biggest boy band. And I’m…”
“A gorgeously perfect supermodel.” Harry finishes for you. “Every guy in the world wants to be with you.”
“Every girl in the world wants to be with you.” You remind him.
“Except for one girl.” Harry says quietly, looking at his hands. “And she’s the one I really care about.”
“Who’s that?” You ask, feeling your heart sink for some odd reason. You didn’t care if Harry had feelings for another girl. Did you?
Harry looks pointedly at you, and you frown. “M-me?” You ask quietly, pointing to your chest. “You…you like me?”
Harry nods. “I have for a while…” He says quietly.

You look out the window, millions of thoughts running through your mind. Still looking out the window, you whisper, “You think I don’t want to be with you?”
You look at Harry’s reflection in the corner of the window, watching him shrug. "You said it would be crazy.“
You turn around to look at him. "Harry, look at my life. I’ve been in fashion shows and magazines. I fly from New York to Milan to Japan in like, a month. I go to huge parties with you and spend hours running around the city laughing and dodging the paps with you.” You grab his hands. “I like crazy.”
Harry looks down at your hands and smiles, rubbing his thumbs softly across the tops of your hands. Then he looks back up at you, and you notice his smile has faded the slightest bit. “I hope you like it. Because if we do this, if we start…dating, it’s gonna get way crazier. You know that, right?”
You smile and lean in, gently pressing your lips to Harry’s. Harry doesn’t waste time responding to your kiss, leaning in closer to you and placing his hand on the back of your neck. It should feel weird, kissing your best friend. But it doesn’t. It feels…right. You know in that moment that you don’t care. You don’t care if the paparazzi goes wild, asking you personal questions every time you go out. You don’t care if the fans hate it, constantly sending you hate about being a shallow model. You just wanted to be with your best friend in every way possible. You loved him.
“I want you. The other stuff doesn’t matter to me. You do.” You tell Harry before leaning in to kiss him again. 

Loft 89 Experience - Manchester!!!

Hey guys.

So i’ve had a lot of messages from people asking me to talk about what happened last night so here goes!!!!

My friends arrived to mine on the Tuesday and we stayed up making our posters and finishing our outfits and posted a few pictures on Tumblr. We thought we’d mix together ‘Wonderland’ and ‘Bad Blood’ and took inspiration from the line ‘We both went mad’ - changing the ‘both’ to ‘all’.

We got up really early on the Wednesday, did our makeup and stuff then headed to Manchester! 


When we got there we just chilled out with everyone, then got into the queue for normal entry at like 2pm ish! We wanted to be at the front so we’d be one of the first to the TN booth and wouldn’t miss any of Vance Joys set!

We hung out with Jaime, Mollie and Kristina, who’s costumes were AMAZZZING and just generally all freaked out :’)


As soon as the doors opened we ran to the TN booth and met Sierra who was SOOO NICE! My friend Hannah ( redheadswift ) was on facetime so she could say hey to Sierra and she found it hilarious, she was like ‘OH MY GOD! HEY HANNAH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!’
We took a photo and then went to our seats!


Anyways when we got to our seats we were just overwhelmed with how close to everything we were and just danced around and took photos! We saw some of Taylor’s dancers wandering around and also got to meet Claire, who is one of Taylor’s backing singers! She was sooo nice!


Vance did an amazing set and then we started getting CRAZY excited! We saw Taylor’s bodyguard walk past a few time and then ERICA walked past! For anyone that doesn’t know who Erica is, basically she’s Taylor’s assistant and the UK have fallen in love with her! Every time we’ve seen her at events in England she’s always been so sassy and funny and pulls these hilarious facial expressions. We started a hashtag about it on twitter ( #EricasExpressions ).
I was like ‘ERICAAAA!’ and she turned round and did a cute little dance and wave!

Then the show started so I wasn’t really paying attention to anything else around me other than Taylor!
A few seconds into New Romantics, I turned round because my friends were screaming and Andrea was stood there!!! I was so happy to see her, she looked incredible and was glowing!
She said ‘WOW LOOK AT YOUR GUYS!’ ‘I have a question for you…have you ever met Taylor?’ - we didn’t want to lie so we told her that we had met Taylor, but at a radio station after camping out and that we only got a few seconds. She said ‘so you’ve never had a proper meet and greet? Do you guys want to go to loft 89?’ - We all started screaming and crying and I was literally shaking, I felt like flinging myself over the barrier to hug her!


After that we just went crazy for the rest of the show - it was incredible, i’ve never seen anything like it. I was just in awe of how special Taylor is. I cant even pick a highlight because each song was so different and had such a different feel. 
During clean she flew right past us and waved and smiled and then basically had a conversation with our friends ( thebesttay13 , music-in-my-mind-swiftie and nashvilleandswift ) and told them how she’d seen their signs and photos online! We were nearly crying for them because they are honestly 3 of the most amazing people! Kristina has never met Taylor and deserves to SOOOO much so I was made up for her that she got a special mention :)

image

After the show we went to the allocated level and waited to be let in. We were told the rules and then were led into loft 89! It was so cozy and cute! There was pizza and cookies and drinks and we were told to help ourselves!
Before Taylor came in Erica came in and we ran over to her! We told her how much everyone in the UK loved her and about #ericasexpressions and she was like ‘WHAT! OMG SHOW ME!’ she thought it was hilarious and was like ‘WHY DO I LOOK SO MISERABLE ON ALL OF THEM’. I asked her if we could take a selfie and told her how iconic it would be and she laughed and said okay!  

image


A few minutes later we were told to put our phones away and then next minute Taylor came through the door shouting ‘HEY GUYS!’
She looked beautiful and perfect and was radiating sunshine :)


We made her way around the room and we waited for our turn. When she got to my group she looked at me and smiled and went ‘SINEAD! SINEADS HERE! ITS SINEAD! COME HERE BUDDY!!!!’ and hugged me! I was like ‘HEY AFAGJAIG’ then I thanked her for what she did for me in February at radio one when she looked for me in the crowd and she was like ‘OH MY GOD YOU’RE SO WELCOME! THE PHOTOS FROM THAT DAY ARE SO FUNNY! WHEN I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU! I LOOK LIKE AN ANGRY MOM!’ – I told her about how much I freaked out when I saw the video and she was like ‘awwww buddy’. We talked Sarah and Curt (our friends who had met her in the pre show meet and greet), Hannah and how I was meeting her at MetLife and she said ‘oh my god. You and Hannah together. That’s amazing. You’re going to get on so well.’ I told her how I facetimed her during Style and that Hannah said she vomited hot tar and Taylor started laughing and went ‘OMG DID YOU SEE THAT GIF OF HER’ – then acted it out :’)


When we took our photo she said ‘Why don’t we recreate that photo you posted last night on your yard’ and I looked at her and was like ‘oh…you saw that?!’ and she said ‘Of course!!!!’
After we’d taken the picture she hugged us all again and thanked us for coming and then signed some things for us and wrote out ‘I think I am finally clean’ so I can get it tattooed in her handwriting!

Afterwards we went to talk to Andrea! She came over to me and said ‘Taylor was so happy when she found out you were here! Thank you so much for being honest and telling me you had met her. I’m glad you’re here though, you deserve it! I know you always camp out and go the extra mile for her so I’m so glad you’re here’. I hugged her and told her what an inspiration we all thought she was and how much we adored her and she said ‘Thank you so much. I’m so happy you’re here!’


Shortly after than Taylor had to leave and she shouted bye to everyone again! We were then led out and pretty much all collapsed on the floor!
I spoke to Sierra as we were leaving and she was like ‘We’re all dying over that Ericas Expressions thing. Come and find me in America!!!! It was nice meeting you!’

We went back to the car and just sat there trying to absorb what had happened!
 

Taylor. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Last night was incredible. It was amazing to hang out with you and it felt like I was just hanging out with a really good friend!!!

Thank you for being my friend and helping me to love myself. I think you’re incredible and I’m so blessed to have you in my life.


I love you :)

3

You know those feelings you get when your favorite character dies? The hollow in your gut like you’ve just been sucker punched by the writers’ fists of creative fury; the outrage at this injustice because there are characters far more deserving of death; and the despair that takes over as soon as the screen goes black, because you know you’ll never see that character crack a smile or shed a salty tear. You know, those feelings?

I don’t.

I don’t, because my favorite character in Orphan Black—the deliciously flawed and wonderfully complex Dr. Delphine Cormier—isn’t dead.

“You’re just in denial!” you shoot back. In the week following the finale I certainly was. And maybe a small part of me still is. But, now that I’ve had time to process season 3 in its entirety, I’ve gained a new perspective on this narrative turn that is built on concrete details, storytelling logic, and the big picture—and not based on living life in the ballpit of denial.

So join me for Part 1 of the Delphine’s Not Dead series: “The Delphine of Today Is Not the Delphine of Yesteryear.” (Silly title, I know.)

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New York: Friends, Christmas and Tumblr (oh my!)

And last, but certainly not least, I couldn’t write about New York City without mentioning: 

Christmas in New York

I was blown away by how decked in lights New York City was. I had heard the city around Christmas time was magical, but I had no idea as to what extent, until I was wondering around and everywhere I looked glowed with Christmas cheer (even coming back from Hoboken, the tunnel had lights in it!).  

I also stumbled across four (four!) Christmas markets (Union Square, Bryant Park, Columbus Circle, and a church on the UES) where I moved between little stalls buying random Christmas presents for friends and Family. 

Friends

Somehow over the years I have scooped up some wonderful friends in New York City. Some are friends who have moved to NY from Canada, and others I’ve been lucky enough to meet via this blog, but that’s neither here nor there, as it was glorious to see them all. 

Over the course of my trip I stayed with two amazing friends (on the UES and one in Williamsburg) who opened up their apartments for me (so thankful), and it was so nice to catch up with each of them properly.  I hadn’t even realized what quality girl time I needed until I was there. 

I also finally got to meet my friend Janine’s son, Ryan (who turned one this week)! Besides the whole Janine and I have one of the craziest/awesomest friendship story of all time (remember!?) thing, Janine is one of my favourite people in this world. Our friendship is so natural, and I feel like when she talks she’s says exactly what I’m thinking.  

ps. Anyone else’s scarfs do that to their hair in the winter?!

I also caught up with my friend Val, who’s also now a wonderful mom to a one year old! I honestly love life so much, I feel like it was just yesterday I heard Val was pregnant - the difference a year makes is amazing.  It was so great to catch up with Val, and hear about her new role as a mom, and share stories as we dined on delicious pizza at Casa Nonna. Val, thank you so much for taking the time to meet me, and for the champagne and delicious chocolates! Until next time (March!). 

And then, of course, there was Jaclyn (umm how did we not get a photo? Also, I keep thinking about that apple and brie sandwich, and next time we’re doing a night of wine!), and Sara, and Emily, and my friend Catherine. 

Seeing friends in NY is always the highlight, and I’m so thankful for each of these ladies meeting up with me. Truth be told lately (as in since I got home from Australia) I’ve been in a rut with friends (how do you make friends as an adult?!) so I really can’t thank each and every one of these girls for taking the time to meet me, for the beautiful birthday gifts, and quality chats. xoxo

Tumblr Party

The week before I headed to NY I got an email from my friend Christine (who works at the only n’ only Tumblr!) inviting me to Tumblr’s Year in Review party.  After bargaining with my boss “I promise I’ll work from NY!!” I moved my flight, and instead of flying back Monday, flew back Thursday morning. 

As my friend Sarah and I were waiting in line outside some Brooklyn Warehouse, I told her, “I think I’m peaking in my cool status at this moment in time,” because really. Who would have ever thought I’d get invited to this party! 

To say Sarah and I played the party perfect, would be an understatement. As per Christine’s instructions, we arrived early, and from always creeping the party’s social media hashtag (#Tumblr2014) we headed straight to the ball pit. 

And, you guys, it was sooooooooo much more fun than we even remembered! 

The party also included mini put, GIF photo booths, delicious food, arcade games, and performances by The 1975s, Reggie Watts, and Chris Gethard.

A huge (huge!) thank you to Christine for inviting me! Like I said, I peaked at an all time high coolness. 

And with that, my friends, concludes my New York City trip. Because as I already noted, the next morning I flew back to Toronto for that epic day of travel

#GiveLoveToday

I nominate @grippedperdition-pushedpurgatory , @thelittlestbearcub , @fandomloverspn , @amy-de-l-abc , @idjitmonkey , @bloody-woman-in-white , @procrastinating-angels , @chloereneemotionless , @awake-butstill-dreaming , @smoldandelion , and @kaz2y5-imagines for Misha Collins’ #GiveLoveToday event. Thank you for giving me the chance to write this post today.

My heart is with everyone affected by this horrific, unnecessary, mind-boggling tragedy in Orlando. Even the words in the depths of my soul can’t express how shocked and appalled I am to read about an atrocity I can’t begin to fathom. I am so, so sorry.

This post is going to be long, and parts of it will probably be cheesy, or sad, or anything in between really. But my goal is for it to be unapologetically so, because I mean every bit of it: every sentence, word, punctuation mark, down to the very last period. This is my chance to thank every one of you for touching my hearts in ways I didn’t think was possible. I joined Tumblr a little over a year ago, and in that blip of time, I’ve found a group of people I will never forget. I’ve found friends, confidants, mentors, inspirations, partners-in-crime, and family among countless other things. Honestly, I can’t put a label on any of them. If I hadn’t said it before, and even if I have because I can’t say it enough, I love you all. And I’d like to talk about how each of you personally have affected my lives in ways I am so incredibly thankful for.

The first person from my Tumblr family I want to thank for being a part of my life is @grippedperdition-pushedpurgatory . Morgan–or Charlie, as I know her–is forever my big sister. From the first moment I met her in that fateful day on Chatzy, I knew we were going to be great friends. I just didn’t know how close we would actually be. Between fangirling mercilessly over our favorite actors, characters, TV shows, books, and many more fandom-related things, she makes me laugh. She makes me forget anything bad or stressful happening in my life. She never hesitates to check in with me each and every day, send me pictures of interesting things she thinks I’d like, tell me stories about what’s happening at her school, or just tell me a truly awful pun that still makes me giggle behind my hand. I still remember the first time she told me we might be able to “ACTUALLY MEET IN PERSON.” I squealed. Out loud. Little ol’ introverted, self-conscious-around-new-people, babbling-when-I’m-nervous me squealing out loud at the mere prospect of getting to meet such a wonderful girl. I bounced the entire way to my local bookstore where we’d arranged to meet up. The whole half-hour of me traveling there, we texted back and forth furiously in all caps while my mom shared in my excitement from the driver’s seat. Charlie warned me she was probably going to knock me over when she ran to hug me, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the rush of emotion and laughter and love that came with that bear hug. It was like reuniting with a friend I’d known my entire life rather than meeting one for the first time. I’m proud to say I kept my balance, although we’ve fallen down together in similar situations that followed that day. Because of course once we met, there was no keeping us apart, despite the hours between us. I’m so grateful that’s it’s only a few, making our frequent get-togethers possible. Fate was kind enough to give me that along with this gorgeous, thoughtful, funny, talented, intelligent, inexpressibly amazing girl.

Next is Sammy ( @thelittlestbearcub ), someone who proves over and over again that age doesn’t matter when it comes to friendship. She’s a little more than six years older than me, but the gap is irrelevant when it comes to our relationship. She treats me like an equal, not like an adult to a kid. Quite a bit farther than Charlie, we let the Skype calls and texts be enough until she can come out and see me in person again. The first time we met was part of a sweet sixteen birthday surprise where she flew out to see me for a few days. I cried at the airport and chased her down for a hug as big as the one Charlie had given me at our first meeting. I failed to knock her over, but we held onto each other for a long time. Sammy doesn’t give herself enough credit, but I spend every day trying to get her to see herself how I see her, even just the slightest bit. She’s strong, brave, refreshingly honest, empathetic, loving, selfless, beautiful, witty, smart, and a whole list of other things that barely scratch the surface. I feel 100% safe and free from judgment with her. I can break down or be my dorky self and she’ll join me for every minute of it. One of my favorite things about our friendship is that I can just send her a look during any situation and know we’re thinking the exact same thing, and then the giggles bubble up and we absolutely lose it, causing everyone around us to think we’re crazy. And we probably are. But crazy makes the world go ‘round, and the world’s so much brighter with Sammy in it. She’s my partner-in-crime, through and through.

Next is Sarah ( @fandomloverspn ), but I knew her as Mikey first, and somehow I can’t imagine knowing her as anything other than that. She’s my “big brother,” the bubbly girl of our close-knit family, the one who always makes faces when someone pulls out the camera. I swear, I don’t have a single picture with her that doesn’t involve her either a) sticking out her tongue b) pretending to bite my ear c) going cross-eyed or d) all three at once. Within five minutes of a conversation with her, I’m in stitches. Her dry humor gets me every time. And if I just need someone to smother me with cuddles, she’s first in line, sometimes virtually pushing people out of the way to do so. We commiserate together when our shared klutziness causes us to walk into walls, closed doors, or anything solid, really. Our talent for absolute obliviousness when it comes to the world around us can make for a dangerous combination, but she watches out for me, and I watch out for her, and what more could a girl possibly need than that?

The first word that pops into anyone’s head when it comes to Amy ( @amy-de-l-abc ) is “sweet.” Whenever her name is mentioned to someone who knows her, a comment that’s most often made is, “You can’t possibly not like Amy.” And they’re right. No matter how busy or frazzled she is, she will be the first person to ask about your day, how you are, did you have enough to eat today, are you staying hydrated, how was that test you told me you were nervous about, congratulations on that poetry contest I saw you post about on Facebook, did you sleep well last night, is there anything I can do to help make your day even a little bit better? You just smile whenever she’s around. She’s the one who leaves the longest and most thoughtful notes in your birthday cards that make you tear up. When she does rarely take a minute to stop and take care of herself, we’re all right there with her to help, because she’s constantly taking care of us.

Hope ( @idjitmonkey ) is my honorary cousin and weirdo twin. (She’ll deny it, but she knows it’s true. We may as well be the hyenas from “Lion King” with how much we make each other crack up with the dorkiest things). She’s got to be my favorite person to follow on Tumblr, because she never hesitates to tag me in posts she thinks I’ll like, whether they be funny or sweet or sad or just one of the many flattering pictures of Jensen Ackles that’s been circulating the internet. It didn’t take her long to find out that those pictures are my kryptonite. Hope has been witness to many of my autocorrect fails, and though I make no secret of my embarrassment whenever she cackles and uses them against me, it’s honestly one of those seemingly insignificant things that makes me feel loved. Whenever I’m expecting mail from her, I sprint to the mailbox each day in impatient anticipation. It usually takes a few days for the cards to arrive, but it’s worth it when I see the sticker-covered envelope, or rip it open to discover she filled it with some kind of glittery confetti that I now have to clean out of my laptop keyboard. (She was extremely proud of herself for that.) Texts from her are bright spots in my day, especially when she calls me “cuz.” She’s the mom of the group without a doubt, and the best one we could ever ask for. If anyone even so much as looks at you the wrong way, she’ll ask if you need her to bury a body. And as soon as your messages “strt to book like thiss,” it doesn’t matter how much you claim you’re “aawke,” she’ll send you off to bed with a teddy bear and a lullaby. One of these days I’ll meet her in person. There’s not a chance it won’t happen with both of our stubborn determination.

Where do I even start with Toni ( @bloody-woman-in-white )? Her sarcasm and cunning knowledge of how exactly to push your buttons in the best way possible makes my mom ask daily, “What are you laughing at?” And when I’m turning blue and unable to answer, she’ll say, “Toni?” My renewed giggle fit is all the confirmation she needs. It doesn’t matter how crappy my day is, five minutes and a fast-paced gif war later, it takes me a second to remember why I was down in the first place. All I need to do is whisper a few words to get her to go on a long and highly-entertaining rant about season finales or bad writing in a TV show or equality or why her dreams are so weird or anything at all. Sometimes I try to use that as a distraction so I can steal one of her fluffy and adorable cats before she or Hope can jump in and stop me because of my allergies (but pfft, what’s a couple of swollen eyes and a closed up throat when you’ve got a CAT to snuggle??). Watching an episode of “Supernatural” with her is the best commentary you could ask for. I’m sure I’ll get a shoe thrown at me from her for saying this, but despite her short height, she has a heart big enough for a giant. (And yes, I may have worded it that way just to give her a healthy dose of my mischief for the day, but it’s absolutely true.)

Soph ( @procrastinating-angels​ ) is my go-to girl when it comes to fangirling over Marvel movies or “Hamilton.” We share a deep love of Chris Evans and Lin-Manuel Miranda, and she is just as adorable as they are, if not more. (Just take a look at any picture she’s in and you’ll see what I mean when I say I’ve never had a friend more photogenic than she is!) Her playful personality is sure to get any of us giggling after a long day, but somehow she manages to balance responsibility and goofing off better than most people I know. She challenges me to work harder and makes everyone around her happier, like a Patronus against the dementors we may have encountered that day.

Hayley ( @chloereneemotionless ), Riley ( @awake-butstill-dreaming ), and Crow ( @smoldandelion ) are the almost unbearably cute oddballs that make me wish I could be as unapologetically myself as they are. Hayley’s words of encouragement always come right when I need them. Riley initiates a good amount of my “OMG WHAT OISDLJKGLAD AHHHHHH I’M SCREAMING” texts, which then gets us into a long back-and-forth of all-caps messages. Crow makes the time to check in with everybody, even if it’s for a quick hello. They all make me feel like a true sister to our family.

And finally, to the person I can’t even begin to thank enough for making these girls an important part of my life, Kazzy ( @kaz2y5-imagines ). Her stories inspire me to be a better writer and she inspires me to be a better person. I’ve never seen a popular Tumblr blogger so in touch with her fans, so willing to be a listening ear. She is the reason I have a life-long connection with my Tumblr family. Thanks to an impromptu sleepover in her Fort City chatroom, a group of “Supernatural” roleplayers invited me to join them in their fangirl fun. That was the first day I met them all. Every single day that followed I would be in contact with at least one of them. We’ve celebrated victories together, we’ve felt loss together, we’ve laughed and cried and sang and danced, we’ve been rocks in what seemed like an endless ocean some of us almost got lost in, we’ve been the first to wish each other a good morning whenever we wake up, but most of all we’ve embodied the main theme of “Supernatural,” the first thing we all bonded over. Love and family that doesn’t end in blood.

I am and have always been a writer. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t at a keyboard or holding a pen or reading a book and thinking I want to write stories like this. But when it comes to trying to describe these phenomenal girls to people who haven’t yet had the pleasure of meeting some of the best human beings I’ve had the privilege of getting to know, I’m at an utter loss. They welcomed me with open arms and haven’t let me go. They accept my flaws and even love me more for them, they ground me, they rekindle my undying belief that there are good people in this world even when it seems to only be filled with hate. I surround myself with tissues as I type this, and I’ve had to hit the backspace button so many times due to the blurry screen and the fact that I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed to portray my Tumblr family to the extent that they deserve.

There is good in this world. There is love and hope and people who make a difference, even if they don’t realize it. These girls are proof of that. I love them with all my heart and more.

#GiveLoveToday

MTVS Epic Rewatch #30

 BTVS 2x09 What’s My Line Part 1

Stray thoughts

1) This is the first episode of a two-parter, so I’ll give you my verdict after I rewatch 2x10. Heads up: this two-parter is not among my favorite BTVS episodes.

2) Willow looks so giddy in the career fair. And of course she would be.

3) “I shouldn’t even be bothering with this. It’s all mootville for me. No matter what my aptitude test says, we already know my deal. (…) Do the words ‘sealed in fate’ ring any bells for you, Will? Why go there? I’m sorry, it’s just… unless Hell freezes over and every vamp in Sunnydale puts in for early retirement, I’d say my future is pretty much a non-issue.” This is kind of sad. It’s just yet another teenage experience Buffy has been deprived of. And it’s not just this particular experience, but the whole teenage constant feeling of possibility, that “I could be or do whatever I want, my whole life is ahead of me” thing. Buffy never got to enjoy this prerogative that most of us take/took for granted. 

4) Why would Dru need to do a tarot reading to know what’s coming? She’s a psychic, after all. And I know they used the cards as this device to literally show us what was coming, and they are pretty, but it just doesn’t make sense.

5) Angel hugging Mr. Gordo is the cutest. He’s such a dork. Also, he looks kind of stupid.

6) “There’s a surprise. Angel comes with bad news.” Funny how this still held true way after he left the show.

7) 

Angel:  Yeah. I’ll never be a kid.

Buffy:  Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle robbing, creature-of-the-night boyfriend.

I know Buffy’s line is supposed to be funny “oh haha she’s cracking a joke about the age difference and his vampirism haha” but actually this is exactly what bothers me about the Buffy/Angel relationship in the early seasons. She was just a girl. Literally. She was 16! And for the sake of argument, let’s say he was 26, which is how old he was when he was turned (I’m not gonna say he is 240something because that wouldn’t be possible in the real world). Can you see how wrong is that? Why would everyone around Buffy be so on board with their relationship? Giles knew about it from the start and he thought that it was “rather poetic” since she was the slayer and Angel was a vampire. I don’t want to get nasty, but I just think it is utterly wrong that the writers - and as a result the characters - and the fandom romanticized a relationship that was, at the very least, questionable. 

I guess this is because Sarah didn’t look like a 16-year-old. Well, Sarah wasn’t. She was 20 at the time. But even if Buffy “didn’t look 16″ she still was. And just so that you can understand why I feel this way, this is what Buffy would’ve looked like at 16.

Do you still think it would be okay for Buffy to date Angel?

And don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy their relationship and all the fluff and the angst and most of their scenes are really romantic and everything. Angel was Buffy’s first love, after all, and he really did love her, and they grew up and they still loved each other. But there’s still something very wrong about a 26-year-old man following a girl around since she was 15 and claiming he had loved her the moment he saw her. 

Oh well. Let the unfollows begin!

8) Xander as a prison guard doesn’t make much sense, but Buffy as a police officer totally does. She had been policing the streets since she was 15, after all, right?

9) “She’s the gnat in my ear! The gristle in my teeth! She’s the bloody thorn in my BLOODY SIDE!” Well, Spike was definitely obsessed with Buffy since day one, wasn’t he? And yes, it is not healthy at all. 

10) “Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.” Sometimes, I’m Snyder.

11) 

Recruiter:  The test was irrelevant. We’ve been tracking you for some time.

Willow:  Is that a good thing?

No, Willow, that’s not a good thing! That’s fucking creepy and scary!

12) And FINALLY they meet!

I love how he smiles when he realizes he has finally found “that girl”. <3

13) This dude looked super scary.

14) And this dude looked super creepy. And not just because of his wormy physique.

15) And she’s just plain gorgeous.

And btw, why did she beat up the guy in the plane? That’s not very slayery of her!

16) Watching Buffy as she skates is a nice reminder that, no matter how many apocalypses she has stopped, she is still a girl. And that’s what she keeps saying.

17) Of course, this girly girl will slice your throat with her skates if you mess with her or her boyfriend.

And now I’m laughing at Angel’s open mouth in this gif. Just look at him.

18) This was pretty cool but I’m so glad CGI has greatly improved over the last 20 years. Thank you, science.

19) I laughed at this way too much.

Giles:  Well, perhaps my words of caution were… a little too alarming.

Xander:  Ya think?

20) Oh, Willy the Snitch! Whatever happened to him? He just kind of disappeared, right?

21) Man, Angel does love a dramatic entrance. Or exit. Especially if there are shadows involved.

22) “Who are you? If you tell me what I need to know I won’t hurt you.” And you’re trying to threaten the girl who just kicked your ass?

Try again.

23) Oh, Kendra’s accent. What a gift from the heavens.

24) Vampire strength is a fickle thing in this show. Just two episodes ago, a bunch of vampires had broken a steal door, and yet somehow we’re supposed to believe Angel can’t break out from that flimsy cage?

25)

Cordelia:  I can’t even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?

Xander:  That’s what a lot of the guys say, but it’s just locker room talk. I wouldn’t pay it any mind.

26) And then the first amazing WTF moment in BTVS.

27) And of course…

There weren’t that many “TBC” in Buffy, right? I guess we’ll have to wait! ;)

A Quick Revisit Travelers Part 2

Chapter 1 A Quick Revisit Amnesiac Stefan
Chapter 2 A Quick Revisit Stefan With PTSD
Chapter 3 Pt 1 A Quick Revisit Kathlena Part 1
Chapter 3 Pt 2 A Quick Revisit Kathlena Part 2
Chapter 4 Pt 1 A Quick Revisit Travelers Part 1
Chapter 4 Pt 2:
As Marcos escapes from the otherside, Stefan and Elena starts having fantasy dreams of each other. Pretty much a SE AU.
I’d like to point out this opposite parallel first. 5x01//5x18

See? She’s not okay with it anymore like she was at the start of the season. In my opinion this kind of opposite parallels are important. (like this one X ) Stefan thinks he’s going crazy and first thing he does is to call Caroline though at this point he can’t call Damon or Elena about some fantasy dreams of Elena but we still consider this a plus because Stefan doesn’t hide this from Caroline like he did with PTSD problem. Except this there is not much to tell. They both depend on each other by the end of season 5 as it’s been proven that Stefan seeked the comfort in Caroline in 5x22.

By the fireplace Stefan and Elena talk it out and officially admit that they grew apart, changed and moved on from each other.
Stefan: You can either be friends with someone or in love with them. I don’t think you can be both.

Then somethings happen happen and happen. In the end Enzo dies by Stefan’s hands but not exactly by Stefan’s hands?! Well it’s complicated.
Who knows maybe Enzo is obsessed over Stefan so much because Stefan the white knight stole his heart. Like for real!

Travelers are after the doppelgangers so mfg decide to go into hiding at Caroline’s dad’s cabin in the woods. Did I say hiding? Naah more like a double date with secrets and well a house in the woods cannot be complete without a ghost! Luckily we have one!

Firstly this is where Caroline’s being so obvious to everyone but herself but we’ll get to that. Stefan didn’t tell he killed(according to Stefan not me) Enzo to Damon and Caroline but he told it to Elena for some reason that I don’t know (and don’t tell me they are friends, he’s in love with her or he trusts her blah blah “Sarah Salvatore-Damon-Enzo-Secret” I’m sure these words evoke something) So Stefan and Elena were acting strange which has been noticed by both Damon and Caroline but interpreted differently. Awkwardness in the air…

Careful Stef you didn’t see the worst yet! Damon thought it was about Enzo and Caroline thought Stefan and Elena were secretly making out. Making out? Really Care?? lol Clearly jealousy was finally getting best of her because she doesn’t know what she’s up against. That’s a weak spot. Even a control freak can’t control something she doesn’t even know. If she knew she had feelings for Stefan and she was jealous this whole episode would play out entirely different.

Helps with the cravings huh? I sense some nervousness!

Damon: Elena got all cagey when I brought up Enzo.
Caroline: No, no. I’m not talking about Enzo. I’m talking about
Stefan and Elena.

Damon seems pretty confident with his judgement. They start playing games and clearly Damon and Caroline as a team sucks at charades 5-0??? that must be a joke but Damon wants everyone to put their cards on the table so “never have I ever climbed onto a building without a ladder”

So Damon and Caroline drop the big bombs one by one.
Caroline: Never have I ever kissed a Salvatore brother… “today”.
Damon: Never have I ever lied about where Enzo is.
Well drinking didn’t help her jealousy issue it made it worse as expected and she’ve had it enough already!

Stefan: Nothing obviously because nobody’s drinking.

Finally they found out the secret was about Enzo and Caroline’s powers of deduction really suck then we got this.

Enzo spent some time with Caroline-Stefan and he already started throwing some little comments around and he’s gonna use Caroline against Stefan in 6x02 to get Stefan do what he wants which was perfectly explained by threadsandspiderwebs
ENZO is thinking about HIMSELF, in that moment. He is thinking about DAMON in that moment, and he is thinking about STEFAN and his hatred for him for giving up on Damon. Caroline is hardly important here, just a tack-on. He’s over and done with Caroline’s feelings the moment he puts his hands on IVY. He’s now thinking about all the ways and reasons and plans to not just hurt Stefan but to literally force his hand. Light bulb. He thought from what he witnessed last year, that bringing Caroline was bringing the big guns, but since he saw that it’s REALLY not gonna help him…I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he could USE HER again to try again later. But what he sees from her face….says wait this guy is really about THIS life. He really divorced the old and Damon is OUT THERE.

I repeat Caroline is not relevant to IVY’s death. She’s relevant to being one more thing for Enzo to be angry at Stefan for. That does not alone = kill Ivy. You know what does? That Enzo has bigger plans and a purpose. Bringing Caroline was a tool for his own purposes to begin with. Whether he goes inside the house “for HER,” he ultimately acts in killing IVY FOR HIMSELF. One big gun is CLEARLY a wash, he’s gonna pick up another, one for whom, he doesn’t give a fuck.” ( X )


I might add Enzo may have a thing for Care(which is still in question) but he stated it a couple times that duty is something and love is another. What must be done must be done.

Caroline is mad at Elena because she didn’t have a proper reason to keep it from her but Elena says she didn’t want to put her in an awkward position.
Caroline: Because it wasn’t awkward when I accused you and Stefan of being make out buddies again?
Then Elena asks the magical question that Caroline never asked herself “where did that even come from”. She just literally kicked the hornet’s nest.
Then we see Caroline alone with her thoughts lost in the fire.

Kinda looking at her own burning feelings, you can feel the warmth, it’s real, standing by it, she’d want to reach out in the cold night but if she gets too close to them she could get burn, she’s walking around a dangerous fire. Admitting it is at one hand and living with it is at another.
Then Stefan comes.

Caroline: We are friends right?
This time it’s not just “we are friends” it has the question mark as if she needs to hear it, because she’s in conflict. If you’ve read these chapters until here you know why. Because Stefan misled her, he acted like their relationship was building up to something more and even his some actions were kinda flirty which I mentioned.
Caroline thinks that Stefan doesn’t trust her as much as he trusts Elena which is very wrong. In this situation Stefan knows that if he says “I trust you” it wouldn’t matter. It would be just empty words. SO he tells her the real reason. It’s not about “trust”. But first how can I miss this?
(gif by nikaaa49)

Yeah Stefan such a perfect bullshit excuse to brush her cheek lol Even Paul said this was beyond platonic before this scene aired.

Stefan: I didn’t want you to know that I killed Enzo.
Caroline: Why?
Stefan: Because I know you and I know you guys had that little weird chemistry thing going on.
Strange choice of words. Why weird Stefan? Why didn’t you just say “that chemistry thing”. So like I said in the part 1 imo he’s uncomfortable with it and he doesn’t like it. Not exactly a “jealousy” but not exactly a “not jealousy” either. It’s complicated.

That’s what he tried to do in his entire relationship with Elena which was romantic relationship and he ran away and pushed her away almost everytime she saw a bad side of him and I want to get your attentions at how the talking goes down. Stefan doesn’t tell the real reason until the very last moment as if he doesn’t want to say it, because he’s afraid of getting hurt if he lets someone in just like he lied because he was afraid of losing Damon and Caroline. Lastly they share a look and the conversation ends here.
(gifs by maliahales)(Original gifset X )

I guess we all took this last look as her realization moment. So with this the conclusion of part 2 is “realization”.

Though JP told that the realization moment was in 5x22 but they cut it out during the editing…