this one was even harder than the other two

What would a open mic night standup in ML Paris look like? Can you even fathom how hilarious that would be? Just a handful of comics cracking jokes about what traveling abroad is like.

Comedian: “The stereotypes against the french are just out of control now. Everyone expects me to be wearing a beret and eating snails and that’s not fair. But you know, you have to hand it to them, there is a pretty sure fire way to know if someone is french now even from a distance. Because if we see a butterfly we will freaking scream.” 

I love the character specific ones, like Nino gets sorta well known in the comedy circuit when he’s a little older and he’s up there, smiling and interrupts his own jokes half the time with laughing, but his timing is impeccable. 

Nino: “So, super villains.” *the crowd waits for him to say more, but he shrugs as if the sentence needs nothing else, and laughter picks up. He’s grinning before he ‘sobers up’.* “Bad news, obviously. Probably. But, I can’t be the only jaded guy out there right? Like, am I not the only one who hears ‘MONSTER!!!’ and asks without looking up from my phone like, ‘Well, where? Like here?’” *crowds starts laughing and Nino pantomimes texting. “’Cause like, if it’s not on this block man, I was gonna order in probably.’” *laughter continues. Nino waits for a second nodding and smiling. “Have I put a pizzaman through hell by ordering two large pizzas in the middle of a warzone?” *nods* “Yes. Yes i have. Those guys are the real heroes.” *crowd laughs and he chuckles, taking his own queue to get back on topic. He readjusts the mic stand, feigning apprehension.* “So yeah. Super villains, bad news. Some more than others, and like, don’t get me wrong! It’s bad, but, come one. Everyone is a little curious what their super villain is. JUST A LITTLE.” *he calls over the laughter of the crowd, making them laugh even harder. He holds up his free hand that isnt dedicated to the microphone like hes placating them.* “I’m not saying that’s cool! I’m saying that’s the way it is. Paris is a weird freaking place now, gotta take those changes in stride. And for some of us, we already know, right? Got any other akumas in the house? *he waits, listening for the three or four cheers from different parts of the room* “Respect! Alright, so I’ve got something to ask, now that we’ve got that out in the open.” *he pauses, gesturing a little and looking around, building the tension* “Be real with me… But, come on. Was anyone else just a little disappointed?” *the crowd freaking explodes. Nino waits and tries to start again but he starts laughing too, and eventually has to raise his voice to be heard over the crowd.* “I mean, come on! You’re already striping me of my free will, now I don’t even get to pretend in the back of my head that maybe I looked super cool? I mean listen, we’ve all had our moments but, please appreciate the fact that I now have to live with the fact that my ‘dark’ alter ego is a bubble wielding super clown. Really, Hawkmoth? I don’t even get that much?” *Nino lets the laughter ride out, shaking his head and pacing the stage, chuckling to himself. In a slightly quieter voice he says* “Paris is weird man.” *slight laughter* “It is, it really is. But I grew up here you know, I remember the ‘pre-butterfly douchebag days. How weird is it? For the people who move here? Like when they pack their bags, hop on a train, get all moved in then BOOM” *Nino makes a large explosion with his hands* “Huge explosion! Shakes the earth! Fire down the side streets, evil cackling in the air, and they are seized with terror only to realize” *he pauses, turning full circle on the stage before shrugging* “No one cares. Everyone looks up, sure, they’re checking where it’s at but the people of Paris have got the calm and orderly exit thing down, it’s been years we are used to it. We’re just like ‘Oh, wow thats a rather big one isn’t it? Huh, anyways-’ Yeah no one cares. Unless it’s Mister Pigeon.” *huge laugh, a few foreign looking people look confused and Nino chuckles* “For those of you with an intact survival instinct and dont live here, it’s worth explaining. That this city has, twice, been taken over by a mad, pigeon wielding bad guy. TWICE. This is some real shit. People respect pigeons now, I will pay you to find one native citizen who still has the balls to kick at a pigeon. ONE.” 


and so on and so forth, with such famous bits as ‘Cat Noir makes a shitty roommate’ ‘Best Man at a superhero wedding doesnt really make you feel like the best man’ and ‘The Bubbler II: Return of the Super Clown (God Damnit)’

Just because there’s a lot of bi people out there who used to identify as lesbians and there’s a lot of lesbians that used to identify as bi does not mean that either identity is a phase……at all? I mean, when girls start to realize they like girls, society gives them two conflicting pieces of information:

  1. All women have to be attracted to men
  2. You are only allowed to be attracted to one gender, anything else and you’re just confused

This leads to these ain’t-straight ladies to possibly identify as something they’re not, since these mixed signals are confusing and frustrating and make the soul searching process even harder. But what it does NOT do is make one identity more valid than the other, they’re just two identities attacked by heteronormativity in slightly different ways.

I want to be with you (young!Remus x reader)

Summary: You and Remus are in love but it’s not as easy as it sounds…

A/N: I’ve written that one in German a while ago and finally decided to translate it so I can share it with you! It’s a bit long, I know, but I didn’t want to rush or split it!

Word count: 4,003

(Y/N) = your name

Warnings: heartache, kisses, fluff

(Masterlist)

* * *

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Not A Joke

Summary: Dan and Phil’s friends have dared Phil to get Dan off right this second, despite the fact that they despise each other. 

Includes: voyeurism, enemies to lovers, and a sudden need for church

Word Count: 1.7k

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anonymous asked:

As Simon fell from the tower, he wondered if Baz would finally be happy.

This was the goal after all. As soon as he hits the ground it’ll be the final end of Simon Snow. Doesn’t matter that it’s all an accident and Baz isn’t even here for it.

He always thought he’d die by a direct force, not accidentally tripping himself over a ledge while trying to get a better view of the darkened forest where he thinks Baz is lurking.

Simon shuts his eyes and focuses on the wind rushing past him in his descent. It feels like time has slowed to the nanosecond right before it stops.

There are probably things he should be thinking about. Isn’t your life supposed to flash before your eyes? Shouldn’t he consider Agatha? She’s not his girlfriend anymore, but he should spare her more of a thought than just wondering if he should spare her a thought, right?

He squeezes his eyes shut tighter and let’s his brain go where it really wants to, thoughts landing on the only thing that’s ever really felt like a solid constant in the grand fucked-up life of Simon Snow.

Baz.

Pity, Simon thinks, that he only just realizes it, here at the end. That he’s probably in love with his greatest enemy. That Baz matters for more than one simple reason. That this obsession Simon has developed lately, might have another layer.

Penny has always made jokes about him being oblivious, even to his own feelings.

Simon wishes he was able to tell her she’s right.

He thinks of Baz’s face. Cold, hard-set and pale, but once, just once Simon saw him blush.

And that’s the image that’s stuck in his memory. The one Simon recalls every night when he wonders where Baz is, but has made himself not think about too deeply.

He’d give anything to see it again, or any expression on Baz other than hatred.

He bets Baz, wherever he is, will smile when he hears the news of Simon’s demise. His thin pink lips stretching into a beautiful sneer, and Simon won’t ever get to see it.

The tear slips down his cheek before he can stop it.

He should be hitting the ground any moment now, not even his erratic magic coming to his rescue. Even though he supposes that might have something to do with the slowing of time. If only he could catch himself.

He tries. Conjures all his will in the last seconds and envisions arms catching him right on time. If he knew a spell he’d say it, but his magic has never really worked like that anyway.

He leaves his eyes shut, doesn’t want to see if this doesn’t work.

He even holds his breath.

He can feel gravity pulling harder.

Any moment now.

Three.

Two.

One.

Then nothing.

Or it should be nothing. But he feels those magic arms. The ones he pictured.

But they’re thinner than the ones in his mind, and they don’t feel as wispy as he thought they would.

They feel like they’re attached to a body, a thought that startles him into opening his eyes and gasping for breath.

He’s met with the steely gray gaze of Baz. Who’s panting, one arm shaking under Simon’s shoulders and the other dropping his legs. Forcing Simon to stand on his own.

“Bloody hell, Snow. What’re you doing tumbling from the astronomy tower?!” Baz’s voice is hard, edged with a worry Simon’s never heard, but Crowley is he glad to hear it now. “If I hadn’t slowed time you’d be a puddle.”

Simon blinks and tests his weight on his feet. He’s alive. This isn’t a dream.

“Then why’d you’d slow it?” He asks. It’s not a dumb question. Baz shouldn’t be saving him. Baz is meant to do the opposite. “Why didn’t you let me die?”

Baz’s hands are still on his shoulders, and the hard expression on his face waivers for a second.

Simon is expecting a quip, some level of Baz’s usual snark. Something like ‘I don’t want you to die, if I’m not the one killing you.’

But the quip doesn’t come.

“Crowley, Simon.”

Baz whispers softly, leaning forward.

Then, Simon finds himself shocked for the third time tonight as Baz’s lips cover his own.

It’s a hard press. Desperate and full of need.

Simon responds with everything he has.

Rota Fortunae

Originally posted by taegxk

Words: 3,812.

Genre: Angst? Soul swap au? how do I classify this??

Request: You and Taehyung bump into each other and swap souls.

Summary: “Though you had never been a firm believer in fate, maybe it was her doing that constantly led to having Kim Taehyung in your life – and you could not help but to despise him.”

A/N: This was a very different request that I really wanted to write and honestly I don’t even know how this turned out but it was fun. Let me know if you guys want a part 2 lmao

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Tonight in Sam Plays the Ukulele

Sometimes when I want to learn a new song I google a bunch of different versions – that way I can pick the version with the easiest chords or the version that matches my vocal tone best, and sometimes I can frankenstein a bunch of versions together to get something playable.

Sometimes I go through three or four versions of a song, experimentally strumming, and reject them because they’re a little too difficult. But sometimes I reject them because they straight up just sound wrong. 

I think it’s really gratifying, and kind of a great feature of the internet in general, that sometimes I reject two or three versions and I start to think to myself, you’ve been through three versions that you think are wrong, maybe you’re playing poorly. And then I hit a final version that sounds so much better and I realize no, those other tabs were in fact crap and this set of tabs is the proper one. Then I feel all kinds of validation because it turns out not only can I play this song even if this version is harder than the others, but I was right and proper in rejecting the unplayable versions. 

This isn’t something I could have done before the internet – if I just had books, they’d all probably have more or less the same version, and anyway who can afford to buy fistfuls of ukulele music books? Not me. So I think the internet makes it just…so much easier to be self-taught about stuff like this and I’m really grateful that a lot of ukulele nerds have thrown their stuff online so I can learn from them. 

It’s a really kind of intense thing to say about a song as silly as The Easter Parade, but there you go. 

(I have nothing planned for this weekend except sleeping, playing Easter Parade on the ukulele, and making hot cross kolaches. It’s gonna be awesome.)

U.C.

Fandom: Law and Order SVU

Pairing: Dominick “Sonny” Carisi x reader 

Summary: Imagine going undercover on a case with Sonny as a couple

Originally posted by emilyabeth

You reached for the door handle, then pulled your hand back, then reached for it again, hesitating as your hand hovered over the cool metal. Your hair was curled, heels long making the exposed part of your legs look longer than a mile, you looked hot as hell but was slightly worried about what the others would think. This was your workplace so of course they had only seen you in nothing less than a blazer and black pants. The outfit was for undercover and that required you do dress up like this but even so it felt weird stepping into the squad room feeling this fancy. 

“C’mon Y/N!” Carisi shouted through the door. “We don’t have all night.” He said, fixing the collar of his shirt. Rollins punched him in the arm knowing how much she hates being rushed. You took a deep breath and just ripped the band aid, turning the knob and swinging the door open before you could psych yourself out again. 

You stepped out and cringed as everything around you stopped. The room fell silent as the attention drew to you. You pursed your lips together, stepping forward, this released some of the tension as most of the people standing around went back to what they were doing. The only ones who kept their attention on you was the squad. 

“Damn Y/N.” Fin called, making the rest of you chuckle. 

“You know the plan?” Liv asked once again, handing you your purse. Liv’s voice snapped Carisi out of his trance and he exhaled a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. You nodded at her, checking your purse for your phone and other stuff. 

“Get in, get the info, get out.” You recited to her. The victim of your current case was a member of a couples only club. The club was very protective of their members information and more Manhattan judges were part of the club than one would think so it was going to be a lot harder than usual to get a warrant. So instead of going through all that two of you would just have to go undercover and it ended up being you and Carisi because you two had the best chemistry or so you were told. Carisi held his arm out for you to take but your hands went to his neck, loosening his tie. 

“You look too much like a cop.” You said. Carisi’s ears turned pink as the tips of your fingers brushed the skin on his neck. You tossed the tie onto a nearby desk. He stepped back as you started to un button his shirt. He couldn’t handle the proximity to you or the feeling of your skin on his. He swallowed the lump in his throat, hoping the tension in his crotch wouldn’t grow. 

Carisi cleared his throat, trying to clear those thoughts from his head and focus on the case, but you looked so damn pretty. You took hold of his arm and he tensed up, you squeezed his arm trying to comfort him, only to end up measuring his bicep. 

When you got to the club, the bouncer looked you up and down and Carisi hand pulled you closer into him, pretending to be protective of you. You flashed him a smile and he opened the door for you. Inside, people crowded around a stage, watching as three people had sex. You looked at Carisi to see his eye’s wide, red face looking pink under the dim lighting. You put your hands on his face, making him look at you. 

“Eye’s on the prize, detective.” You whispered, not meaning for it to come out as seductively as it did. He swallowed deeply again as you lead him to the bar. 

“Hey.” You bit your lip, smiling at the bartender. “There was a really hot guy working here last week, Harry I think his name was?” 

“Terry, he’s not working this week, but look around, I’m sure a pretty thing like you will find someone to play with.” He said, wiping down the counter. 

“What about you?” You flirted. “Do you wanna play?” You smirked when he smiled at you. Carisi stepped closer to you. 

“Play time.” Carisi chimed in, letting the bartender know he was still there and part of the situation. 

“Diana, I’m going on my break.” The bartender smirked, and Carisi’s arm found your waist once again. The two of you followed the bartender to a private room, so you could get your information. The guy was pissed when he found out you were NYPD but had no other choice than to tell you what he knew. 

The two of you left the room, hand in hand, at first you were hesitant but Carisi gave you that lop sided smile that you loved and convinced you that you had to sell it, even if you already had the information. 

In the taxi, he sat beside you with an arm over your shoulder, you leaned back into him, the stress of the day finally reaching you. 

“You’re so gorgeous.” He whispered into your hair. At first you though you heard wrong because you were half asleep but then you craned your neck up to look at him. Your faces were inches apart, his lips dangerously close and eyes that dared you to kiss him. 

“Sonny, we’re not undercover anymore.” You whispered, contemplating letting yourself give into temptation. 

“I know.” He stated. You didn’t need to think about what it would be like to kiss him anymore because he made that decision for you, placing his lips on yours. At first he was hesitant and gentil but as soon as he felt your lips moving against his, he let go, letting another part of him take over in a kiss that not only woke you up but left you feeling like you were walking on clouds. 

~YAY I have moree 

About You Now (Decode Part Four)

A/N so for this final song you need to be hearing the slow acoustic version by the sugababes, not the normal faster version.

When you got home that night, Paul wasn’t there. He’d been home by the looks of things, gotten changed, and gone straight back out again.

Thinking back to the conversation with Dave, you poured yourself a glass of wine and took your phone out, dialling your Mom. After exchanging pleasantries, you took a deep breath.

“Mom….. Would you and Daddy be upset with me if I left Paul?”
..

You didn’t sleep that night. Paul rolled in at around 2am, not noticing the suitcases that you’d placed by the door, the bags you’d packed. He went straight to bed whilst you paced the apartment, drinking coffee. Leave now and leave a note, or tell him?

Finally at 4am, you went back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. You nudged him awake.

“Go away…. ” He mumbled.

“I am. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. Wake up.”

Paul’s eyes opened and he squinted to see you.

“Let me guess, another case?” The disdain in his voice was apparent.

“No. I’m leaving you. For good.”

There was no argument, in fact there were very few words exchanged after that. You both knew that there was no point in disputing it or trying to save it. There was nothing to save anymore.

So at 5am, you found yourself outside Spencers apartment again. Your bags were in your trunk, you would take them to Emily’s later, or to Dave’s if she wouldn’t have you. There was still a chance that Spencer would turn you away, after all, you’d messed him around so much without meaning to. You should have been honest months ago. Honest with everyone.

It was so easy that night,
Should have been strong, yeah I lied,
Nobody gets me like you,

You knocked on his door, calling his cell when he didn’t answer. It was still so early and it took him a few minutes to answer the door when you told him you were outside.

He didn’t speak when he did, sleep still clouding his features, his hair messy and light stubble covering his jaw.

“Y/N?”

I know everything changes,
All the cities and faces,
But I know how I feel about you,

He blinked a few times and then glanced down to your left hand. You knew what he was looking for, checking for. It was still there though. You hadn’t taken it off, simply out of habit. He moved to close the door again.

“I love you” you blurted out, the words that you should have said weeks ago slipping off your tongue. You reached to your ring finger and quickly tugged the wedding band off, shoving it into your hand bag.

Spencer twitched, just because you’d said those words didn’t mean you’d done it.

You tried again.

“My bags are in my car. I’ve…. I’ve told him.”

He moved aside to let you in, closing his robe around him as he closed the door.

“It’s over?” Spencer asked quietly.

“It’s over. I’m sorry. I should have done this at the very beginning. I love you Spencer.”

Can we bring yesterday back around,
‘Cus I know how I feel about you now,
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down,
But I know how I feel about you now

You closed the space between you and waited. All this time he’d been waiting for you to say something, to do the right thing. And now you were waiting for him.

Had you messed him around for too long?

Had he changed his mind?

“Spence?”

All that it takes one more chance,
Don’t let our last kiss be our last,
Give me tonight and I’ll show you

“I love you, Y/N. Oh god, I love you so much.”

Your lips were on each other almost the second the words left his mouth, arms wrapping around the other tightly, like you’d never ever let each other go. Tears were trickling down your cheeks, happy tears. Spencer broke the kiss, feeling them, and he moved his mouth, kissing the trail away.

“No more crying, no more sadness Y/N.” He cupped his hands under your chin, pressing his forehead to yours. “Say it again….”

“I love you Spencer Reid.”

He kissed your cheek, nuzzling your ear with his nose. “Again.”

“I love you.”

His hands slipped under your jacket, pushing it off, a clanking sound as it dropped to the floor. Peppering your jaw with kisses, he worked his way to the other cheek, his fingers starting explore over you torso.

“Again.”

“Spencer, I love you. I’ll tell you everyday. Over and over again.”

Now the words had left your lips, they felt perfect. Magical even. You were in love and he loved you back. It wasn’t ideal how it had started, but it was what it was. And now… you were no longer with someone else. You could be honest about your feelings. And it felt glorious.

“I love your mind, I love your voice. I love how intelligent you are, how you can stun someone with a phrase or a sentence.”

Spencers lips had moved to your throat, your words feeling like they were vibrating as he kissed up and down your neck.

“I love…. I love how you can make me laugh until I cry, but if I’m crying, you always know what to do.”

“Again… ” he whispered, nipping at your neck, his hands slipping under the hem of your tank top, skimming over your stomach.

“I love you. I love how you sleep with yourself around me and if I move, you wake up. I love how your hair looks in the morning. I love your smile, your lips, your taste. I love every inch of you.”

His mouth was sucking along your shoulder now, inciting jolts of pleasure.

“Now I’ve said it….. I won’t ever stop saying it. We were meant to be together, I’m just so sorry it took so long for me to realise.”

I know everything changes,
I don’t care where it takes us,
‘Cos I know how I feel about you

Your own hands moved to Spencers body, pushing his robe off so that he was left in his t-shirt and boxers, boxers that were doing very little to hide his happiness that you were here. You nudged against him slightly and ran your hands over his back, skating them over his butt and giving it a soft squeeze.

You heard him groan softly against your skin and then he bent his knees slightly, readjusting his arms and then hoisting you off the ground. You locked your legs around his waist, toeing off your ballet pumps as he walked you into his bedroom, lowering you down onto his unmade sheets.

Your clothes came off quickly, joining his in a pile on the floor, and soon he was on top of you, settled in between your legs, your lips moving together in a feverish kiss. His skin was warm against yours, his hands trailing up and down your body as your tongues repeated words of love to each other silently.

This was how it was meant to be. You and him, together.

As you spread your legs and wrapped them around his waist, there were no longer any feelings of guilt. You were no longer doing anything wrong.

Rolling your hips against him, you signalled what you wanted. You hadn’t had him in twenty four days now, you needed this.

Not a day pass me by,
Not a day pass me by,
When I don’t think about you,

“Already? …. We’ve barely….. ” He sucked your bottom lip, releasing it slowly as he broke the kiss to look at you. You tucked his hair back behind his ears so that you could look into his eyes, his beautiful hazel eyes that shone with so much emotion. You nodded at him.

“I need you. Plus… We have all day right.”

He nodded and slipped his hand between your bodies, positioning himself ready to push inside.

“We have forever.”

And there’s no moving on,
‘Cus I know you’re the one,
And I can’t be without you

He fit inside you perfectly, two jigsaw pieces that slotted together because they were made to be that way. He started to move, slowly at first; you pushing back with your hips and groaning at the feeling. Your eyes stayed locked on each other the whole time, you pushing his hair back everytime it fell forward again.

Spencer increased his pace and you clamped down on him, loving the look on his face as you did so.

“I love you, I love you so much.” You whispered to each other over and over in between gasps and pants as Spencer thrust harder and faster, not taking long to reach his high. You raised your head and caught his mouth with yours as you felt him release himself into you, juddering as he did.

You smiled widely, happiness surging through your veins. It didn’t matter that this had taken less than two minutes, or that you hadn’t even finished. You’d get to that later. What mattered was that you could be together, with the one you loved.

Spencer lay on top of you, his head burrowed into your neck as he panted softly, getting his breath back.

Can we bring yesterday back around,
‘Cus I know how I feel about you now,
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down,
But I know how I feel about you now
But I know how I feel about you now

When he could speak, he tilted his head, placing an open mouthed kiss on your neck. “I will do whatever I can to make you the happiness woman alive, Y/N.”

“Spence, right now, I already am.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too.”

Hiraeth | Pt.4

pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3 | pt.4 | pt.5 | pt.6 | pt.7 | pt.8 | pt.9 |

Words: 7,135.

Genre: Zombie apocalypse au, angst.

Summary: A world full of dwindling hope and lost loves and yet you and Jungkook are all the other needs to feel at home.

A/N: Inspired by The Last of Us.

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5

Roman x Reader

Requested By Anon

Warnings: bondage, swearing, rough sex, smut, bossy Roman, Dom!Reader, Roman’s thing with the razor’ biting, blood play




Roman couldn’t help but laugh at how angry he’d made you. You’d actually taken his keys and headed out to the car as if it would make him follow you out of the club. When he finally found you you’d started the car and he had to lean into the roadster, pulling the keys out, so you wouldn’t drive off.

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twin-imagines-deactivated201704  asked:

So because I'm a loser and because I lie your writing. Can I request a Scenario for kyoya and his S/O having their first fight and kyoya accidentally tells them he loves them? HAHHAHAHAHA big nerd out

Aaaaaaaaaaah I love this so much.


If Kyoya knew that he was going to have an argument with his partner that day, he would have taken the time to mentally prepare himself. He never liked arguing with them, due to the fact that he always ended up feeling shitty about it. He knows he always gets carried away, and ends up saying something horrible to them that he would never mean, after being caught up in all of his emotions. Things  like that just blurt out of his mouth, whether it is something that he has been meaning to say to them, or something said to specifically hurt them. Most of the time, it would be something to hurt them.

It’s not like he does it on purpose, the words just end up falling out of his mouth, and it seems to him that there wasn’t anything he could do about it either.

How the argument started, he didn’t know at all.The were just studying together one minute in peace, and then in the next, the two of them were at each others throats like dogs.  

“You know, I hate you when you get like this! You act like such a jerk and I don’t even know why I’m with you!” His partner yelled finally getting up out of their seat to leave the room “Maybe we should just break up if you are just going to treat me like this all of the time!”

Kyoya got up quickly, and grabbed their arm a little harder than intended, and drew them close to them, so they were face-to-face before hissing in an irritated tone “You know I couldn’t break up with you” He said, not yelling anymore, speaking lowly in an extremely intimidating tone “I love you way to much to do that, so I’m not letting you go!”

~Day

Taehyung Scenario: Bright Up My Sky.

Request: I would like to request a Taehyung scenario where OC has a bad day at school (like either just her in high school or both of them can be) and they’re dating and she’s like upset about how her day went and he tries to cheer her up. Thank you so much if you do write it.

Genre: Fluff / Drama


You had a theory that if something went horrible wrong on first period at school then the rest of the day you’ll spend calm and peaceful. Today you proved your theory wrong.
Everything that could go bad went bad, starting since the moment you woke up and found out you were late, so by the time you arrived at school the professor had already started the class but you decided to test your luck and go inside only to be scolded in public. The professor was ruthless and you even dared to say impolite, but you kept your mouth shut thinking that this was the bad event of the day and nothing could get worse.

Your boyfriend was nowhere to be seen, you kept looking for him on your breaks but he wasn’t around, he wasn’t answering his phone. Maybe he was sick, that’s what you thought making yourself worry about his well being, Taehyung didn’t just disappear like that.
But at the end of second period you saw him, laughing happily with his friends, you called him out as discretely as you managed to, he obliged, his smile never faltering like he had done nothing wrong.

-Jagi, you’re here-

You just stared at him and shook your head. -I study here too, although you seem to have forgotten that-

Taehyung looked at you puzzled. -What’s wrong?-

-I’ve been looking for you all morning, where is your phone?-

He sighed and scratched the back of his head carelessly. -Oh sorry jagi, I left it at home, at first period I couldn’t leave the classroom because we were doing a project-

You pondered on his words for a second and then nodded, he had no reason to lie. -Alright, I just wanted to say hello-

Taehyung looked at you with a little smile on his lips. -Want to go grab a snack together?-

You thought about it but decided against it, third period was about to start. -It’s better if I go back to my classroom-

He nodded but when you were going to leave he grabbed your hand, Taehyung turned you around and planted a kiss straight on your lips. -I’ll see you after class-

Keep reading

Children of Frey and Freya

Requested by Anonymous:

  • A lot of the children of Frey are afraid of fire, though none of them can quite explain why. 
  • Just like the Athena cabin, most children of Frey look a lot like him, with the same blonde hair and blue eyes.
  • Frey’s children and Freya’s children see each other like siblings. A relationship between two of them would - though not technically wrong - be seen as weird and unnatural. 
  • Every year they have a huge celebratory picnic in the middle of summer. A lot of his children come from all over the world to be together.
  • Children of Frey find it harder to form a bond with enchanted weapons as their father is the god of peace.
  • The children of Frey are usually really slender and flexible, which is why some mortals associate these traits with elves. 
  • Children of Frey and Freya are allergic to scented candles as their scent is unnatural/ chemically recreated beauty or lust.
  • Most children of Freya only have one of her three abilities (Golden tears, amokinesis, mystiokinesis), but sometimes really powerful demigods or her children with elves can have two or even all three. 
  • There are a lot more children of Frey and Freya in Norway than in any other place around the world, due to them being so praised there. 
  • Children of Frey are really good swimmers. 

PSA: I hope you don’t mind I also added Freya to the request and that it aren’t as many headcanons as usual. I don’t remember much about the Magnus Chase series as it’s been a while since I read it and I haven’t been able to catch up yet with the newest book. 

- Marge

the night patrol, chapter four

chapter title: Sweet Little Lies
words: 3.4k
story summary: Ladybug and Chat Noir independently discover each others’ civilian identities, and start doing their own night patrols to secretly learn more about one another. In the process, they find themselves falling even harder for each other—but when they fight together, both feel compelled to pretend that they don’t know the truth. (lots of Marichat, lots of Ladrien, slow burn Ladynoir)

previous chapters: 1, 2, 3

a/n: Shout out to all the folks who have been waiting since February for me to update this!! I promise you won’t have to wait more than two weeks for the next chapter this time :D

AO3 | Fanfiction


It’s Wednesday night, and Ladybug is sitting on top of Notre Dame, waiting for a familiar pair of neon green eyes and a Cheshire grin to appear beside her.  Tonight’s the night for their joint patrol, and he should be here soon.

Tonight, they’re going to patrol all the popular tourist spots in Paris—one of which, incidentally, is the same place where she learned the truth about Chat Noir’s identity and it turned her world upside down.  

The clock strikes 9, and she wonders why he’s running late. But at the same time, she’s a little grateful. She’s been daydreaming about the events from last night all day, but she’s still not sure what to say to Chat Noir when he shows up.

Because Ladybug doesn’t know if she can be casual around him anymore. She cares too much now. It was easy, when she thought that Chat Noir was a stranger, to stay neutral and composed, to flirt with ease and bat off his attempts to kiss her hand.

But now she knows he’s Adrien, and she’s seen the way he blushes when he looks at her with those sea foam eyes. And she’s seen Chat Noir at his most vulnerable and unguarded, visiting his civilian classmate at her bakery at night, all for the sake of learning a little bit about her, and instead revealing his own need for simple comfort and acceptance, with no judgment or expectation.

And though Ladybug’s great at hiding secrets, she’s always been one to wear her heart on her sleeve, and sometimes, it makes her act before she thinks. That’s why Chat’s always been such a perfect partner for her. He tempers her, makes her come down from the extremes she reaches when she goes too far and leaps ahead of herself.

But how can he help her now, when he himself is the reason behind her emotional turmoil? There’s so much she wants to say to Chat Noir now that she’s aware of who he really is, to respond with actual sincerity when he flirts with her, because now she knows the truth about his feelings. And how they reflect her own.

Keep reading

I really love the fact that Virus and Trip are canonly only 3cm apart (182cm for Virus and 185cm for Trip), but the official art is just like 

(Hello NoiCle)

I mean look at how tall Trip is compared to Virus and Aoba. And he’s bending forward.

On most of the other art they’re sitting so it’s harder to tell, but most of the time there’s more than 3cm between them and I like it.

So yeah, basically, I now feel compelled to exagerate their height difference and no one can to stop me

anonymous asked:

Have T and S ever addressed past relationships? I assume it would be difficult for any ice dance team's real life partners on some level. The time and dedication to that one thing is nuts. To hen have two people be close, like T and S are, might make even a confident person a little insecure/unsure. Not because T and S seem like cheaters, it just might feel like other relationships aren't as tight.

I don’t think they ever addressed them in a way that was anything more than acknowledging its existence (and not all the relationships they had were confirmed) as far as I know. 

I don’t necessarily think it’s harder to be the SO of an ice dancer compared to other disciplines of sport that is formed of teams (and most notably - pairings of two athletes). All athletes have the same difficulties - dedicating most of their time to training, going around the world for competitions, being in highly stressful situations, etc. And many (most actually) ice dancers and pairs athletes have relationships outside of the sport or at least not with their partner.

However I definitely think that to be Tessa or Scott significant other is very hard no matter how secure you are. Their emotional connection is very noticeable and their physical boundaries are unorthodox to say the least. There was a quote from Tessa where she said that it’s hard for people to understand her and Scott because what they do is so physical - and what strikes me about it is the fact that it really doesn’t have to be THIS physical, they are no doubt the most physical couple in ice dance (in a field that has several very handsy couples…). So I think what they do is their definition of normal, it’s just not the definition most people have… 😊

A Mission for someone little with great nerves

Originally posted by hashirama


Request: 1) Can I ask for a fic where the reader is really short (5'0") and goes on a mission with Altaïr?

2)Altair x short!reader on a mission in which the reader “burns” Altair because he teases her for being short? With an innuendo please!

A/N: Let’s give Altair some love… And a burn he will never forget ;)-Jinx

Warning: Cursing(I just can’t help myself, this is almost me as an assassin… The perks of being short lol) and nerves ;)




She watched as her fellow assassin walked in front of her, moving cautiously and silently in the dark corridor. She couldn’t help but think back on the frown on his face when the Grandmaster announced that he was going on a mission with her. Y/N thought that after all this time they had formed some kind of a friendship, and why not something more than that? The young female could have sworn that she had seen him look at her from the corner of his eye when she was training with the other men of the Brotherhood multiple times.

In all these years of knowing and secretly admiring him, she had developed those unwanted, strong feelings for the male. It was something not understandable, how could she be attracted by such an arrogant and selfish bastard?

She was mad at herself for caring for people that didn’t do the same for her.
She forced herself back to her senses, only to notice that Altair had stopped walking. Her fingers barely brushed at the back of his robes, and she prayed she didn’t notice. She wished she could do it again, but the Eagle of Masyaf would notice that for sure.

They hid in two recesses the wall had as some guards were passing by, their weapons ready for a fight, one they were trying to avoid. The last thing they wanted was attention. Altair looked at the h/c girl, and she looked right back at him expressionlessly. The man made some signals, and she nodded as she understood his plan. He turned his head away sharply, and Y/N noticed his body tensed and relaxed in a few seconds.

Altair carried on with his mission, and the female assassin stayed to that dark alley for a second. After noting that there was nobody near, she looked at the ground, and detected the outline of a very small door. Only a little child could get in it without getting stuck.

She was once thankful for her small body.

She opened it carefully and slid inside, ready to strike anyone that stood against her. With her muscles screaming in protest, she closed the empty space once again, so if anyone came they wouldn’t suspect a thing. The Templars wouldn’t know what hit them.

As if she would just stay hidden there, just like the Master Assassin had ordered her. They were in the same rank, for God’s sake, what was his problem? He was frustrating her endlessly with his constant attempts to impress Al Mualim. If the Grandmaster believed it was a mission for two, it was a mission for freaking two.

She could see some light at the end of the tunnel. She flicked her hidden blade out, and held tightly on the other hand her sword as she almost reached the end. She was ready for anything that would try to kill her, and used the darkness as camouflage. She took a deep breath, and looked down, to see that Templars had outsmarted Altair. And he was having a pretty hard time, something that didn’t go unnoticed by her. She could see blood on his robes, and she freaked out.

“Altair!” She screamed as she watched him add pressure onto his aching ribs and almost trip on his own feet. Just how tired was he? That idiot, that’s why this is a mission for two, she knew something like this would happen! That foolish, arrogant…

“Assassin!” One of the men yelled, and Y/N let out a low string of curses. “The hay! Move the cart away before she falls on it!”

But it was too late. She had already performed a very skillful leap of faith, and landed on the haystack with a small “thud”. The first templar that came her way felt her harsh kick on his jaw, and backed away, holding onto it painfully. Without losing anymore time, she threw a knife at his chest, ending his life instantly. Altair hadn’t stopped fighting with five or six other men, bigger and stronger than him. But as the h/c girl had noticed, he was faster.

“A midget came to assist his friend?” One of the Templars that had surrounded her laughed.

“You really shouldn’t have said that…” She hissed lowly as she got up from the haystack, and another male laughed too, even harder than the previous one.

“A-A she? A short female will be able to stop all of us…” He was cut off by a knife thrown on his throat. He gagged at his own blood, and the others stopped smiling.

She walked calmly, maybe too calmly, to the first one that had talked, and smirked under her white hood.

“Do not ever, ever underestimate women, and short people, do you hear me?” She was carrying the man she had killed a few seconds ago, and two Templars ran to her, their swords ready to strike, avenge the death of their friend. Those two that came were previously fighting the male assassin, and he managed to assassinate other two.

He was tired, blood mixing with sweat and nerves with that unmistakable feeling of fear. It had a death grip on his heart, his worry for the girl increasing. Adrenaline pushed him to his limits, with just one goal; get to Y/N and help her out of this situation.

He stabbed someone in the chest with his hidden blade, and swiftly made a turn to slice the other man’s throat. After he was done with the distracted and very scared group that had overpowered him momentarily, he turned to Y/N’s direction again, and saw at least four bodies down. Her robes were full with the familiar red liquid, her arms and feet moving graciously as her rugged breathing matching his own.

He felt… proud of her.

He ran to her rescue, even though she didn’t really need to be saved, and stabbed a man at the back of his skull. A heart breaking scream left his lips, causing a few more heads to turn towards his direction. The duo fought back to back, always defending each other’s blind spots and putting up a very good fight against the Templars.

“The document, Altair!” She yelled in order to be heard above the clashing of metal. They were kept at the centre of the room; he would be able to find the right one there for sure. “Get it while I am finishing this up!” She had a swordfight with two men, some trying to follow Altair but meeting a tragic fate.

He obeyed, something that made her sigh in relief, and that was when a templar got hold of her. She braced herself for what was coming, and crushed her forehead against his, making him stumble back and call her many, many things.

She smirked and stabbed his abdomen with her sword glistening, and the last templar, looking like he was going to cry, ran away.

She was too tired to chase after him, and Altair came to her side, smirking. “No matter what he tells, I have stolen some unnecessary documents too. The Templars will not be sure which one we wanted.”

“Smart,” she complimented, and took a different route back to their horses. That coward would call for back up, and they had to hurry.

“Of course and it was, you would have never thought of it,” he commented rather sassily, and she growled.

Altair was smiling slightly at her flustered frame, and she threw a rather strong punch on his side.

“That’s the highest you can reach? You are disappointing me, Y/N.” He told her, knowing that being called short was not something she could let pass.

She got a bit taller by studying on her tip toes, and Altair let out a mocking laughter. She still couldn’t even reach the top of his chest.

“You bastard,” she hissed and jumped to grab hold of his ear. She pulled his face down with minimal resistance from him, and whispered quite seductively.
“Life is short too, just like your ‘hidden blade’”.

He was left there dumbfounded, as she continued walking to the exit, finally reaching it.

“I am not going to wait for you to stop daydreaming about me, Altair,” she said and sun bathed her short figure.

He smirked at the challenge she was giving him, already intrigued by her new-found attitude. He would push her more often and see where it actually leads them.

“For a person with such short legs, you sure walk pretty fast…”

“Goddamn it, Altair!”

Having Vernon As Your Boyfriend Would Be Like:

• gawd, he’s such a dork that he’d stumble and studder (?) his words, looking down with a shy smile and pink, flushed cheeks every time he talks with you

• he wouldn’t know what to say to you and one of his members (someone like Seungkwan) would have to give him a little push or advice

•S: “why are you stressing?? You English is very low quality right now! Go talk to her!”

• v: “it’s harder than it seems hyung!!”

• though he’s not good at speaking, he’s good a rapping so he’d always impress you with raps he made (secretly about you)

• vernon and you wouldn’t even have had an official way on how he asked you out because he never did

• you two would just one day know that you liked each other and from that, you acted like a couple and were a couple

• even after being in a relationship, he never changed. His awkwardness and cuteness stayed with him

• he’d always let out small cute laughs and smiles every time you were affectionate to him

• he’d love to listen to music and create music with you by his side

• vernon would love having peaceful alone time with you, mostly at home, late night, watching TV or something

• though when you did go out, he occasionally make it a bit special by getting you a little gift or hold your hand, giving you small kisses

• you’d be close w/his family since he loves his sister dearly. It would make him happy to see the two of you get along

• it’d be great if you got along w/ his friends/members as well but also know that he has to get a bit more special treatment when you guys are w/them

• being in a relationship w/him would almost seem like a secret because the two of you wouldn’t really act much of a couple but they’d know you guys are super close

• but the two of you know that you really do love each other and when it’s just you guys, the love in the air is more noticeable.

• Vernon would show that he loves you through little actions but every once in a while he’ll actually tell you he loves you just so you know for sure.


I know ppl have done this so many times but I just felt I should make my version for some reason lol