this one is gross but i need to post it for reasons

@momecat replied to your post “@momecat replied to your post: Your one of the few…”

tbh fridays episode didnt bother me so much, it was just that it felt like it was written to follow much stronger+well-written episodes. honestly I can accept a lot…. BUT! and this is my main gripe: show dont tell! if they have a serious fight it NEEDS. TO. FEEL. SERIOUS to us… enough to warrant(mean that loosely tho!) the fallout…. here it felt like when rob cheated and on friday he was talking about a totally different fight from what we saw, that was much worse!

idk if I make sense (the writing limit is a pain) but basically I didn’t buy the reason for Robert feeling like they were over, so everything that followed felt like a ridiculous, gross and truly absurd overreaction. I mean ONE tiny fight where Aaron is (barely) callous and he’s throwing himself at Rebecca??? 😑😑😑

I still understand it like ED wants us to accept that Aaron’s words were harsher and that even he realized he really hurt and jeopardized their relationship with his actions and words……… (at least judging by subsequent writing) but the initial writing didn’t give us that…. and so we’re left with this piss poor SL….

Originally posted by meanwhileongiphy

fille you just get me, you know that? bless you for being you <3

honestly though, you make perfect sense and i whole-heartedly agree. the worst part about emmerdale (and tbf they are pretty good on the whole but when they get it wrong…. jfc) is that they deem it totally appropriate to tell rather than show on a lot of really important points, knowing full well that if it relates to robron (or anything really) that we will fill in the gaps and come up with meta to explain it all so they don’t have to

it’s not good storytelling???? in fact it’s lazy af and shit to boot and frankly we as audience members deserve better and so do the characters. i mean i’m not naive, i fully understand that they have about 22 minutes give or take to tell at least three or four separate storylines so obviously they can’t show everything, but that means that the scenes they do show have to count. they have to have emotional weight behind them, they have to matter to us as viewers, even if it’s just light-hearted comedy, it still has to be relevant within the context of that episode

the scenes on friday were so confusing, i almost thought i’d missed something on thursday which explained everything in a much clearer way but… apparently not. i do wonder if part of it is down to different writers interpreting things differently, but then it’s a soap… you have a different writer for each episode and it has to feel at least somewhat consistent otherwise what is the fucking point????

but yeah… thursday gave us nothing substantial, no real justification for any of it, and then friday swooped in to try and explain it all away with words alone as if that would be enough. and it wasn’t. how could it be? we’d just been punched in the gut the day before, blindsided completely (don’t even get me started on the blatant baiting by emmerdale’s social media team) and then suddenly on friday it was like we were all supposed to have read between the lines. 

it wasn’t good enough. none of it was up to the standard that we know emmerdale can achieve, and while i don’t expect every writer to be of the same calibre as the real heavy-weights on that team, i do expect them to know the fucking characters and be able to put together an episode that doesn’t feel like i’ve entered the fucking twilight zone

Moriel Meta - in which Moriel is actually a healthy and respectful relationship, who knew?

I dislike the ‘Mor has to fix the Cass/Az/Mor situation/Mor should just talk to Azriel about everything/Mor has to be the one to change things and convince Az that he’s worthy of her’ for a number of reasons, most of which I’ve whinged about before (largely that it’s…kind of gross that all the emotional responsibility for this triangle is placed on..the only female character involved in it which is…deeply unfair) but apart from that I think it just shows a lack of understanding as to these characters and how they work and why Mor hasn’t said anything after all this time? 

And people say she should just get on with it and she should just say something and stop all of this but…I don’t think they consider the more problematic aspects of that? Azriel is in love with her and has been for a very long time and she knows this. I think that…In a way if she confronts him about it it’s like telling him that he has to be with her now. She puts him on the spot and forces him to approach a subject that she knows he’s not ready for

“So if he were ever interested would you … ?”
“The issue, actually, wouldn’t be me. It’d be him. I could peel off my clothes right in front of him and he wouldn’t move an inch. He might have defied and proved those Illyrian pricks wrong at every turn, but it won’t matter if Rhys makes him Prince of Velaris—he’ll see himself as a bastard-born nobody, and not good enough for anyone. Especially me.”

 This scene has been approached in a whole host of different ways from people thinking that Mor is flat out wrong to assuming that this has happened before and she knows this from past experience but…I always just kind of read it as it was written. Az doesn’t think he’s good enough for her. It doesn’t matter what she does. It doesn’t matter if she tells him that she wants him. It doesn’t matter if she peels her clothes off and offers him every inch of her. This isn’t a question of want. It never has been. The problem isn’t desire, it’s not even love, it’s worth. 

We’re talking about the person that Mor spent four hundred years convincing it was okay to take a break from work every now and then and go to a club. We’re told Az’s dedication to his work and the lengths he push himself to border on sadistic. This is not someone who takes what they want. This is someone who struggles hugely with self-esteem and self-worth. This is someone who was locked in the dark as a child and set on fire by his brothers as a game because he was that disposable and that insignificant and had that little value. This is someone who is terrified of ever being in that position again and who therefore works ceaselessly and denies himself the things that he wants, even small things like rest or leisure time, because he cannot let himself not be useful again for even a moment because what if they lock him away again because he doesn’t matter? 

So, fine, let’s say Mor does what everyone says she should do. She goes to Az, tells him how she feels, tells him how she knows he feels, tells him what she wants, puts him on the spot, forces him to do something about it. Either: he does as Mor (who’s known and loved him for 500 years) believes and simply does nothing, freezes up, doesn’t move, doesn’t act. Or, okay, maybe he gives in to her because this is the woman that he loves, you know? The woman he’s devoted to. The woman he would look up from a pool of his own blood and snarl at the king who controls the poison running through his veins in order to protect. So maybe he yields. Maybe he says okay. Maybe he accepts her because well this is what she wants. 

For a start that…Doesn’t change anything? Mor going to him and telling him she loves him and wants him and peeling her clothes off in front of him isn’t going to change a damn thing. Rhys making him prince of Velaris isn’t going to change a damn thing. There is nothing that can be done externally to change Az. (And Mor is not under obligation to change him just because she’s a prospective partner that’s a seriously damaged way of thinking too) Az has to change Az. Az has to decide within himself that this relationship is something that he wants, something that will be good for him (and Mor), something that he deserves, something that he can have. Mor cannot do that for him. 

You can’t fix someone’s insecurities just by telling them that you love them/want them? That’s…Not the way this works, especially not for someone like Az where it’s such a deep rooted thing. This is something that he has to work himself through and in the meantime Mor (and Cassian who is…in this almost entirely for Az) will make damn sure that he has the time and space that he needs. However much of it that might be. 

And for a second thing her doing that would be…really unhealthy? Think about it. She’s essentially going up to this insecure, damaged person who’s deeply in love with her and saying: right, I love you, I’m tired of waiting, I’m making an executive decision here, one that isn’t really mine to make (it’s not Mor’s decision/up to Mor to say when Az is ready) and I’m telling you we’re doing this. That’s…Not okay? Like that’s borderline emotionally manipulative? She knows how Az feels. She confronts him about it and she uses that to get what she wants? And it’d be damaging for him. No matter how much he wants this. He. Is. Not. Ready. For. This. Relationship. 

And so many people call Mor out for this? As though it’s her fault? As though it’s a bad thing that she respects his boundaries, respects his insecurities, doesn’t try and force him to change for her because it would give her what she wants? She waits for him. She has waited five hundred years for this man to be ready. She has never pushed him. She has never pressured him. She never will. 

Because this is Mor. And is it really so difficult to understand why Mor, who suffered horrendous abuse of her own as a child, which shapes her just as much as it shapes Az, would wait? Is it so difficult to imagine her refusing to put Az on the spot and pressure him and control him the way she was controlled? Because oh well everyone around you expects you to do this so you should.

 Is it really difficult to imagine her refusing to tell Az who he should love and when he should be with them even though he’s not ready? The way her family told her that she should be with a prince of the Autumn Court, even though she wasn’t ready and didn’t want that? 

Is it really so difficult to imagine Mor, who spent her early life being broken by the demands and expectations and pressures of others - her family, those who were supposed to be closest to her, love her, protect her- refusing to put similar demands or expectations or pressures on another? Especially someone she loves so much.

 Is it really so difficult to imagine Mor, who was shown so little respect that once she was no longer of use or value she was treated like an animal and cast out to die, to be someone else’s problem, would be able to muster up enough respect to let the person she loves so much make their own choices in life? The things that were denied her? 

Is it so difficult to imagine that Mor wants to allow Az a choice? That she feels he should be allowed to choose what he is ready for? And not have her decide for him? Not have her step up to him and say, this is what’s best for you, this is what you want, this is what I’m deciding that you should have?

Is it really an indication that Mor doesn’t love him that she waits? That she’s waited for five hundred years. That’d she’d likely wait the same again, that she’d likely die before feeling like she’d forced him into a relationship with her because she decided that it was time and he was ready and that this was what was best? And therefore that gave her the right to strip away his choices because she knows what’s best? 

Is it really such a terrible thing for one partner to actually respect the other, their history, their situation, their insecurities and understand that they can’t just make these disappear with ~the power of love~ because that’s not the way that mental health works? And that maybe the best thing they can do is not put any extra pressure onto them and give them time and space and support to work through things in their own time and way? 

And is it really so difficult to believe that this is actually the healthiest and best thing that Mor could do both for Azriel and her relationship with him? And that anything else is unfairly pressuring him and manipulating him and forcing him into accepting something that he himself isn’t ready for? And that an emotional abuse victim doesn’t want to emotionally abuse the person that they love? And that that really isn’t a bad thing, you know; that anything else would be toxic and one-sided and selfish and unfair?

Is it? 

TL;DR: Mor is actually capable of respecting Azriel and demonstrates her love for him through that respect in allowing him space, time and a choice in his own life and the relationships he feels ready to pursue. Her keeping her distance from Azriel, the man she loves, for over five centuries is selfless af and I am tired of seeing it twisted around to make her appear to be the opposite. She’s actually dealing with this situation in the best, healthiest way possible and if you’ve got an alternative to what’s happening that doesn’t involve a fukc tonne of coercion and emotional manipulation backing Az into a corner and forcing him to deal with something he’s not ready to face I’d love to hear it :) 

Space Australia

you know that post that goes around talking about how alien life would be afraid of earth and its crazy oxygen breathing lifeforms?

I need to write a one-shot about Hal Jordan explaining to a young Superman that earth is actually an extremely gross hella toxic hell world for alot of other alien life forms out there. Sure,alien invasions are happening all the time, but no one wants this pathogenic shit hole. Nah.

“Okay,” Supes would say, “but if we’re such a lousy planet, why do we have like two Green Lanterns? How come so many threats end up out here?”

And Hal gets all cagey like “Look, man, don’t be mad but 99% of the reason bad dudes come to this planet is because its like space Australia. Lanterns think it’s funny to like… trick bad guys into coming out here so they either get wiped out by some mutated super virus or a tropical storm or something.”

Supes just like, “Lobo doesn’t seem like he’d be bothered by a storm.”

“Right, well, if the storms don’t get them, then the statistically improbable Kryptonian roided out on yellow sunlight certainly will…”

“Do not send dangerous criminals to Earth to fight me! And I am not ‘roided out’. Is that what you’re telling people?!”

“They never see it coming. It’s like intergalactic Thunder Dome.”

“Hal!”

Hey friends! I am pissed. Beyond pissed. I’m sick of fans being disrespectful to Panic! They’re disrespectful to all members, and Zack, and I’m sure that’s one reason they’re not doing true meet and greets this year. 

It has been called to my attention that this happened within the past few days: 
(All faces have been blocked out of privacy) 

A ‘fan’ thought it would be a good idea to paint a picture of Brendon as Jesus, holding the Milk Fic Bible. Not only did they think it was a good idea to do this, but they then proceeded to give it to Brendon, and took a photo with the band with the picture in it. 

I’m utterly disappointed and grossed out, that fans think that it’s okay to do this. It makes my physically feel sick. People need to grasp the reality of situations. I hope to god no one else does this on tour. It’s not fair to any of the band or the fans who don’t do shit like this. Brendon has personally stated he’s uncomfortable with the fanfiction that was written. 

Don’t be assholes, don’t be dicks. One day you’ll look back on stupid shit like this and cringe. Don’t be that person. 

anonymous asked:

I don't condone hate either. I think it's gross to send personal hate to people over a ship. I just block people and move on. No need to be rude or disrespectful over fictional characters. I honestly hate karamel and I don't watch the show because of it. I have many reasons for hating it, not just cuz I ship supercorp and I wish karamel shippers would see that. I've gotten my fair share of hate even on posts where I've explained not to send hate. There's a block button for a reason

Yeah basically. People shouldn’t feel scared to share their criticisms of a fictional character in a fandom. Everyone should realize that no one is perfect. Yes, Kara isn’t perfect. She’s far from. She’s the main character, there should be flaws to her. But I would like to get a substantial argument developed over why Karmel fans are calling her self-centered and racist, rather than just calling her as such and leave it at that without any explanation. If they could come up with a coherent argument, I would say okay, let me share my opinion and then agree to disagree and leave them be. That should the norm and should be what a healthy fandom rivalry does.

I agree with you on the Supercorp vs Karmel thing. I’ve had people say that I don’t like Karmel because I ship Supercorp, which I’ve said multiple times and backed up with evidence multiple times that who I ship has nothing to do with why I don’t like Karmel. And in fact, I really want to like Mon-El, but his writing is so poor that I can’t. I think Chris Wood has done a phenomenal job acting wise with a character I think is poorly written, so my dislike of Karmel has nothing to do with Chris like I’ve also been accused of. In fact, if people knew anything of my own fandom contributions, I’ve tried in my own fanfiction to make Mon-El what I envision him to be. And in fact, people who have told me they hate Mon-El in canon, like how I’ve written him. It is possible to make people who don’t like Mon-El, like him. Not everyone hates him just to hate him because his name is Mon-El. 

I’ve always been a proponent of the block button. Though I never use it myself because I don’t get overly upset over people sending me hate. In fact, I find it amusing and I just screenshot it, send it to my best friend via Skype and we have a laugh about it.

Sometimes I think people take ships far too personally and seriously. If you don’t like the fandom and the antis, block them on an individual basis or leave the fandom completely. If you can’t stomach the hate, don’t engage in the fandom. It’s that simple. It’s unfortunate, but it’s also the way it is. Any individual can control their own actions, but no one can stop the actions of others, especially on the internet. I wholeheartedly condemn people in both fandoms who personally send hate, flame bait and are overly antagonistic. It starts this ugly cycle of hatred over fictional characters and a TV show that I think is completely unnecessary. 

8

Just a few selections of the gross and disrespectful men who can’t read profiles. All of these are men, I’ve received well over 100 messages from men, when my profile clearly states multiple times that I only want to talk to women. Some take it with grace, some throw names, others throw slurs. They are all disrespectful because they all messaged me without respecting my boundaries. Some of them you’ve seen, others I have yet to get to. I have a folder I am organising of encounters with these men (some much longer than others) that has over 1,000 pictures that I need to group, sort, and seperate into one long collection of pictures from the encounter. That’s also the reason why I am spacing out posts. They take a longer time to organise than you might think. So if I should falter for a few days or neglect the queue, just remember it’s coming back when I have the time required to organise these.

Does it really need to be explicitly stated why a lot of misgendering/gendercanons where people choose to swap a character’s canon gender from male to female or vice versa based on physical traits/presentation and run with it is gross and transphobic? [Regardless of whether the person doing it is cis or trans?]

Do I gotta explicitly lay out why it’s gross to say a male character is actually a lady because he’s got thick thighs, or he’s got shapely legs, or wide hips or plump lips or a small waist or notable eyelashes, etc? Or even because he’s the target of misdirected misogyny or misdirected transmisogyny?… Do I gotta go into how those are the exact reasons I’m misgendered from the second I take one step out the door, and the exact same things I’m targeted with on a daily basis? Do I gotta lay it out that swapping a character’s gender/pronouns from “he” to “she” like this is an exact parallel of how absolutely nobody outside of my immediate friendgroup doesn’t do the exact same thing to me every goddamn day of my life?

Honestly the way people choose to justify it when they’re called out is what takes it from Questionable to straight-up Gross. If your response is along the lines of “this is the reading that makes me the most comfortable, but I’ll make sure to 1. think about the motivations behind my actions and 2. tag it to make sure nobody gets hurt so we can all have a good time,” then that’s at least being honest and conscientious and keeping others’ safety in mind. 

But what I’ve seen more often than not is this vehement denial that absolutely anything about this could be even slightly problematic how dare you, and then this additional immediate response to try and pin the blame on the person who brings it up? Either in the form of “you just don’t want there to be more female representation you enormous misogynist,” or “excuse me I’M trans, trans people are by definition incapable of perpetuating transphobia except for you, you massive transphobe” and honestly that has gotten old and tired as fuck. There’s also the “uhm you can’t ‘misgender’ a fictional character, they’re fake and this has absolutely no effects on the real world or real people, everyone is an island and all actions exist in a vacuum” which is just.. christ on a cracker, keep telling yourself that.

I’m not really sure how to end this post. I don’t really even know how to sum up my point, so how about 1. could you not, or at least, 2. could you at least put some thought into your actions, their possible effects on people, and not try and immediately make it the fault of the person pointing shit out?

Seeing this repeated a hundred times over just makes me so, so tired, and seeing actual people in the trans community violently defending why this is 100% Not Even Hypothetically Problematic You Actual Monster is even more draining and hurtful and just… pls don’t

Antis go on and on about how gross it is that we say we love abortions or that abortions can be a good experience, but do they not realize they’re the reason we need to do that?

I love abortion the same way I love open heart surgery, but since no one is trying to ban open heart surgery, and no one is told they’re going to hell for getting open heart surgery, there’s no reason for me to talk about why it can be a good experience. Everyone knows how and why someone might be grateful for that procedure. 

So if antis would stop demonizing abortion, we would probably top publically loving them, it would no longer serve a purpose.

i’m exploring this new community because i want to learn and listen and also give voice to some of the things i’ve been thinking and feeling for a long time

it’s really hard to do that when i have to navigate around and through posts that are carelessly, unapologetically, purposely cruel

i want to read about “cotton ceiling” ideology and listen to criticism of it based on the fact that it compromises consent and contributes to rape culture. i don’t want to be distracted by toxic, scary, sickening-to-read posts that are just meant to hurt people

“no one should ever feel pressured to have sex with anyone, for any reason,” is a good enough line of reasoning. it’s enough. it’s more than enough. it’s all that needs to be said (although it’s helpful to expand on this).

“of course cis lesbians don’t want to sleep with trans women, why would they, it’s gross” ad nauseum is not helpful! it’s not informative! it’s not even a simple recounting of individual experience! it’s pointlessly cruel, it’s disruptive to the conversation, and it alienates people who genuinely want to listen and learn.

It seems I need to further clarify something from last night.

Not all trauma is physical violence.  Not all trauma responses involve panic.  The post I made detailing my PERSONAL response to ptsd triggers was describing ONLY MY response.  Some people get horribly depressed and can’t get out of bed.  Some people faint.  Some people dissassociate.  The point I was trying to make is that there is a huge difference between trauma triggers/trauma responses and being uncomfortable with or grossed out by something.

Additionally, I want to further clarify that there are a lot of things that make me dysphoric and depressive (or trigger dysphoria and depression if you absolutely believe the word trigger has to be used)–but with that being said I don’t ask for trigger warnings for those things because I understand that there are reasonable requests and unreasonable ones.  It would be unreasonable of me to ask the people I follow to post trigger warnings for posts about happy childhoods, supportive parents, drag shows, cattle prods, or any of the million or so other things that have the potential to set me off.  It would be unreasonable and unfair of me to ask that people shield me from the entirety of human experience.  That’s on me.  If I’m in a place where I can’t function as a human being, then the onus is on ME to avoid all of those things until such time as I can handle them.

And once again, this is just my personal experience/opinion/etc.  Now please, PLEASE, I am BEGGING you do not send me ANY more messages about this topic for a couple days.  You guys are stressing me out to the point where I feel like I need a break from this website.