Summer is officially over. It’s Texas, so summer could last another two months. But as I sit and reflect on it, I come to realize, this summer was different.
This was the summer of water. It was the summer I fell in love with a swim hole. The same one I’ve been swimming in for three summers. It was the summer of SUP and kayak. Someone pointed out my fin on my SUP was backwards. Makes all the sense because I installed it and that’s the only way it would fit. So I’ve learned how to SUP with a fin pointing in reverse. Life imitating SUP? Maybe. Wait for the last paragraph. I have moments where the universe talks to me and tells me to buy things. The universe told me if I came back with $400 from Colorado that I could buy the kayak. I did, and the kayak was on sale for $199. The universe was good to me.
The water wasn’t about speed this summer. It was about peace, silence, reflection. During our 5k swim last week, the gentleman who founded our running club manned a kayak for support. His first time doing it.
“I just realized how quiet swimming is. During a run you can talk and distract yourself with conversation. Same on a bike. But on a swim, it’s just you and your thoughts”
Yes it is.
So back to learning how to SUP with the fin in reverse. The past is a tricky thing. My favorite Coldplay line is , “when you feel so tired and you can’t sleep. Stuck in reverse”. So much of my healing from past hurts gets extended because of my resistance to letting go of the past. Of constantly reliving the very things, words, events that hurt me.
A friend was saying bye and told me to look at life through the windshield, not the rear view mirror.
And just like that. Epiphany.
Living in reverse.