this one is for you homies

derryflurries  asked:

which loser do you think is the biggest thot

ok now this is a fantastic question because everyone thinks it’s stan or richie BUT LEMME TELL YOU

it’s bill and ben

bill steals stan’s lingerie and sends thirst traps not just to stan, but to ALL of the losers that boy is wild he knows he looks good and he’s not afraid to show it

ben on the other hand is a massive flirt like homie knows how charming he is and he uses it to his full advantage with individuals of any gender regardless of orientation bc he is just one smooth motherfucker

send me random asks

anonymous asked:

hey, congrats on 2,000! i've been here since about 800, and can i see it's been such a short time? wow. - nskdf anon (haha, been a bit!)

i lose all sense of time- but that doesnt mean i dONT SUPER APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU ESPECIALLY THE DAY ONE HOMIES 👋👋👋👋👋👋

When you not prepared to get pussy...

Me: Masturbates multiple times in 1 day out of boredom😒  

(Later on that day, Took a Shower, now chilling with homies)

Originally posted by harlena-quinner

Me: (Gets a Call from GF)

GF: Want to come over so we can have sexy time? 😏😊

Originally posted by lokatiemidze

Me: Nah babe, I’m good, we can just chill another time. 

GF: What bitch you been fucking?! I’m about to come over & smell your dick! Is my pussy not good enough?! 🔪🚬👿 

Originally posted by blog-of-hide

Me: oh my god… 

GF: THATS WHAT THAT OTHER BITCH HAD U SAYING, ILL FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH! IM OMW!!😡 

Originally posted by ionlywannaseeyousmile

Me: Bruuuuh just chill it ain’t like that, 😕 

GF: I’m outside, open the door! 

Originally posted by animamlp

Me: (sends homie outside to tell her calm down)

Homie: 

Originally posted by butlercat

Gf: 

Originally posted by gamergoodgirl

Homie: I tried man, you have to face her now…

Originally posted by xxshadowxxpro

Me: (Opens the door)

Originally posted by indomitablefocus

Me : Oh My Fuck….

Originally posted by rapidrouge

All because i kept my hands to myself…

GF: I just wanna talk babe

Originally posted by theyandereblog

Me: Nah I’m good (runs back in the house)

Originally posted by kazucrash

GF: (Busts the door down)

Originally posted by bisky

GF: Give me my dick right now

Originally posted by uuvine

Me: (Dick gets hard but is still sore from earlier)

My Dick: We were not prepared for this!, but we have no choice…

Originally posted by luna-ly

Me: Lets get it!

It's funny how times flies when you're bettering yourself. It's crazy how at one point you never thought you could move forward, let alone did you think it was possible to get the past out of your system, but look at you now, gloing up and shit. Minding your business. Thinking positively. Eating healthy. Drinking water. Fuck it, look how many times you smiled and laughed today. You'll be alright homie. Keep your head up!

Champion out now in North America. Song will be up everywhere on Friday (midnight local). Also gonna drop something fun we shot tomorrow with the homie Post Malone once the song is out worldwide.

Chicago, we know you’ve been waiting patiently and we hope you’re ready for part one of your announcement.

We’re bringing M A N I A to you first on September 16th at the House of Blues to celebrate the release of the record.

Since this is such a small show, we want you to get the tickets, not the scalpers/bots. Register for Ticketmaster’s Verified Fan for your chance to get tickets on June 27th at 10am CT. Registration closes Sunday at 5pm CT, so don’t get left out. $1 from every ticket sold will go towards the Fall Out Boy Fund which will help benefit local Chicago charities 💜

p.s. part two is coming Chicago

p.p.s. the rest of you grab your tickets to the M A N I A tour w/ blackbear now

Shoutout to my bi homies that didn't get to go to pride

Whether it’s because there wasn’t anything in your area or you couldn’t risk outing yourself, I’m letting you know that I feel for ya and that one day, you’ll be able to strut your beautiful bisexual butt™ through pride parades and have an amazing time being you!

Trying to use Gender Neutral pronouns, while living in the South.

[Closed captions]

Person 1: And Thank you for shopping with us. Have a nice day.

Person 2: ummm Have. Nice day…WHO? Didn’t your parents teach you any manners?

P1: umm have a nice day……….Thou

P2: SIR OR MA'AM? DO I LOOK LIKE A MAN OR WOMAN TO YOU? PICK ONE.

P1: *Sweating and studdering nervously* I JUST…i DONT….i just…i uhh…….HAVE A NICE DAY *clears throat* HOMIE!

Martial Arts got a rework later

My homie Lee and I are playing a homebrew, Dragon’s Tale. He just got flying kick, and can gain power on it per distance travelled. He happens upon a chasm as he continues his journey.
Lee: so, do I hear anything at the bottom?
Me: only a distant roar interrupted by heavy steps.
Lee: I use flying kick down the hole.
Me: if you miss the enemy, your character will take fall damage and instantly die.
Lee: I flying kick down the chasm.
He goes down, speed exceeding a descending peregrine falcon as he falls, and by one lucky roll, lands on the boss at the bottom. He slides straight through the T-Rex and murders it instantly. He saved the rescue target Ian Malcom without taking any damage.
Needless to say, the rule underwent some changes later.

3

Who am I…

Who am I…

Invisible…

  • What she says: I'm fine.
  • What she means: The phantom exterior like fish eggs, interior like suicide wrist-rags, I could exorcise you, this could be your Phys-Ed, cheat on your man, homie-AGH tried to sneak through the door, man! Can't make it, can't make it, the shit's stuck! Outta my way, son! DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! Grenade! You're a GENUINE DICKSUCKE-

This is the “Lowkey Worried but Also at Peace with It” Jake.

If you’re seeing this it probably means that something is weighing on your mind. No matter your worry, Jake wants you to know that homies help homies, always — he’s holding up double peace signs for double the peaceful energies to be sent your way.

You’ll find your peace, Jake guarantees it, ‘cause your his homie. 

>>> Reblog to help other homies find their peace, too!

We are all just people chasing people.
We’ve become revolving doors in an attempt to find a person that makes love feel real.
One person spins in and we let them in and guide them to the elevator.
It’s as though each wall we have built around our hearts is synonymous with the floors of our hotel.
What level will they get to?
The goal is the top. The penthouse. It’s where the deepest parts of us reside.
Protected by the security guards and the 112 floors laying below.
Another person walks in, they get inside, they make it to floor 12.
The higher the floor the more homie it gets.
It’s less of the standard ice machines and blankets you don’t dare sleep underneath And more filled with stocked up fridges and comforters that you’re sure are dry cleaned after each Stay.
Higher up, it’s less of a room and more of a suite.
Higher up, and you get a view of a city that bustles, but here you feel at home.
Another one comes, the door doesn’t really stop spinning, as one comes in, one leaves.
You wonder if you should shut the hotel down, it simply costs too much if they don’t stay on the upper most floors.
*ding ding*
Another one must have checked in, you wonder if your tower is too tall, you speed her up to the 56th floor.
She likes the stay she claims.
You’re hesitant. But you bring her to a more “permanent,” floor.
You call to check in on her stay, silence.
You try daily, surely she’s out exploring all the hotel has to offer.
Silence.
Silence.
Silence.
Empty phone calls and unanswered memos.
Silence floods you like the dark floods the unoccupied home.
Suddenly there’s an answer and you know that her stay has come to an end.
You ask for a follow-up.
A review.
You want to know what went wrong.
Did home feel like a prison?
Or was it just not luxurious enough?
Did you find a better stay?
Deep down I know that they’re seeking a hostel and I am a home.
Permanency is not a word that is understood by this generation.
*ring ring ring *
Someone’s calling.
They ask if there’s room. The cost is not a problem.
You stare at the city below.
How do you answer?
Are you open or closed?
Are you content being a hostel or are you determined to be a home?
“Hello, miss, I’ve heard such good things about this place, it looks beautiful, I’d pay anything to stay here.”
You blink back into reality.
And the cost? Is it more expensive to them to put so much into something they end up leaving behind or more expensive to you to give all you can to make the stay as pleasurable as possible and you have nothing to show for it?
“Ma'am?”
There’s room, we have a place on the 100th floor, I’m sure you’ll love.
“Great, I’ll take it!”
You grease the door, you try to follow up with that review.. we are all people chasing people, round and round we go..
When it stops nobody knows.
Dating Jungkook would include

Originally posted by hohbi

Jeon Jungkook

- Texting all the time
- But not sweet texts
- More like that one things that’s like the “What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.” thing idk fr what it is but he would send you that
- And he’s not mad when he sends it
- You just asked what time he wants to go to the movies
- He’s actually a meme
- You could be in a group chat with the other boys and use your boyfriend’s face as a reaction to things they say
- And he’s so athletic w o w
- You’re dating the golden maknae, just a reminder
- Tbh he’ll never cheat on you because you’re the only girl he can even look in the eye
- He does really weird things
- All the time
- You look over and he’s making a weird face
- You turn around and he’s walking on his hands
- Who knows
- Your closet is full of white shirts because that’s all he wears
- You could wear one of his white shirts and he’d know exactly which one it is out of his 219 white shirts
- “YOU’RE WEARING NUMBER 46 DON’T GET ANYTHING ON IT, THAT ONE IS MY FAVORITE”
- “I THOUGHT 23 WAS YOUR FAVORITE? NEXT TO 114?”
- “THEY’RE ALL MY FAVORITES”
- You wear his flannels
- Matching couple shirts?
- More like matching Timberlands, lace up homie
- Random singing
- Also dealing with Jimin
- GETTING DOWN TO GDRAGON TOGETHER IT’S GONNA HAPPEN
- Honestly he’d probably pick you up the same way he picked up Jimin in that jail sene thing
- Minus the ass slapping
- But at the same time he might tbh idek
- But playfully
- He and every one of his fans can think that he acts tough all he wants
- But tbh he’s still slgihtly scared of doing something out of line
- His hyungs tease him because aw their maknae is dating someone
- What they don’t know is that your relationship is an all out w a r
- BUTT SLAPPING WARS
- YOU RUN UP BEHIND HIM AND JUST BAM
- HIM TURNING AROUND LIKE “FRICK U THAT WASN’T FAIR”
- “COME AT ME”
- Throwing a pillow at him
- “hAH TAKE THAT- o shit”
- Running from Jungkook after throwing said pillow
- Best friend couple tbh
- He goes from being really shy with you to being just so comfy and weird
- But certain things still catch him and he’s suddenly all blushy and shy
- Learning things together
- Shyly giving you flowers with that lil bunny smile
- But also
- Have u seen him move bc um
- W O W
- Golden maknae is good at everything
- E v e r y t h i n g
- if u catch my drift
- In general the relationship would just be so fun all the time
- It’d be a learning process that you get to do together and all of it is just so worth it

The Mistake (Part 6) - Stiles Stilinski

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “The One Where They Return Their Rings”

Characters: Stiles Stilinski & Reader

Author’s Note: This chapter might as well be a collaboration with @ellie-bee242. She helped me so much, so far as to offer ideas for lines throughout the piece. I am grateful. Aaaaaaand as always, I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times more, all my love and devotion to the number one homie forever @fillthevoid-stilinski. Go read Between Us!

Summary: Stiles and Y/n make a decision about their relationship. 

Prologue - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Epilogue

Originally posted by love-is-in-the-air-baby-love

I do. Let me prove it to you.” Stiles waited until your eyes connected with his, then leaned forward and crashed his lips against yours.

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Prompt 38

Person A is smol and surprisingly strong and can always carry their tol Person B (much to everyone’s surprise).

A Quiet Refrain

It starts with some of the most mediocre eggs Taako’s ever clapped eyes on. Seven out of ten for taste. Zero out of ten for plating. Somehow, they’re still the best damn eggs he’s ever eaten.

(Or: Taako realizes he loves Kravitz back.)


Taako wakes to a smooth, rich baritone wafting down the halls of his home.

He growls at the sunlight streaming through his windows as he rolls out of bed. In a quick flick of his wrist he changes out of his sleep shorts and into a flowing nightgown. Sure, Kravitz saw him fall asleep in his shorts, but this nightgown is an aesthetic he’s hella proud of - there are sequins pressed in layers down the back of the gown, right over his shoulderblades, reading out the double-Ts that are part of the Taako brand, baby. Rhinestones glitter down his arms, from shoulder to a fabric hook over his middle finger, so if he needs to flip someone off, he can do so with extra pizzazz.

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