this one goes out to my boss

Seventeen as the Mafia + How He Met You

||| Requested by @dreamiedragon |||

S.Coups/Choi Seungcheol

Originally posted by sevixxteen

  • That type of leader that doesn’t take shit from anyone, except his members because he can’t fight them all at once. 
  • Gets to know and observes people for a long time before recruiting them
  • He’s very stressed lately as they are a relatively new gang and there are a lot of fights going on with others for territories.

He met you in one these fights when you tried to make a distraction for your gang. You were about to go upstairs to the roof when you bumped into him

“Who the hell are you?” he asked immediately taking his gun out and pointing it at you.

“The same goes for you. You’re not from my gang so I’m here to kill you.”

“Oh really.” he asked smacking the gun from your hand and getting your hands behind your back. “You chose the wrong member. You see I’m the boss and now I can use you as a hostage.”

Yoon Jeonghan

Originally posted by visual-17

  • Looks like an angel and he actually is but in reality he’s the one you should be afraid of the most.
  • Nobody has seen him kill anybody because his methods are too cruel to do them in public.
  • Apparently has some beef with EXO’s Sehun. No one dares ask him but it has something to do with Sehun mistaking him for somebody.

By accident you got involved in a weapon dealing incident with him and he has been planing on killing you ever since. You were good at hiding your tracks but he saw you one day in the city and decided to get rid of you just there in the street but then realized that this fight would probably end up in a blood bath so instead he approached you in secret.

“You have to keep quite and come with me, if you don’t want to die here.” he said pressing his gun to your back.

Joshua/Hong Jisoo

Originally posted by jihanlife

  • Nobody knows why he’s in the gang as he was never invited.
  • When Seungcheol first noticed Jisoo he thought he’s a spy or something (as he appeared out of nowhere) and was about to kill him when he promised that he’s good at at least something
  • And he was, to everyone’s surprise Jisoo’s aim and accuracy is the best out of all of them that’s why he prefers snipers.

He was told to get rid of you silently but you noticed him at the last second and he missed the shot causing a massive panic in the street. You used this opportunity to escape which made Jisoo even more angry. He hasn’t missed a shot in a long time and was determined to get you for that. But whenever he thought he got you cornered he somehow managed to miss and after a while he started to enjoy this little game of yours and soon realized that he doesn’t even want to kill you anymore.

Jun/Wen Junhui

Originally posted by jisoos-princess

  • Pro at hand to hand combat.
  • Trains all the members and teaches them different fighting techniques just in case.
  • His training routine is no joke and everyone is practically dead after it.

He met you before he joined the gang. You were jogging at the same park every morning. As it was really early and not a lot of people were out it became like a habit for him to greet you before he ran past. Eventually he wanted to engage in not only small talk and find out more about you and he started slowing down every single day till he was running at the same pace as you.

“Finally decided to slow down?” you asked.

“Only for you.” he winked.

Hoshi/Kwon Soonyoung

Originally posted by fyhoshi

  • Experimented a lot and finally came up with his own method to make drugs.
  • They were incredibly popular and so he quickly went up the ranks and now whenever there is deal going on it has to go through him first.
  • His first idea was to make poison but he somehow made drugs so nowadays he likes mixing different ingredients to try to create a new deadly weapon.

You had the audacity to attempt to take his throne as the king of drug dealing. You were stubborn and despite a lot of orders to report what you’re doing, you made your way around and stole half of his clients. He had enough and thought that the easiest way to fix this problem would be to get rid of you. But he had no idea you thought the same thing and somehow got his whole warehouse blown up. He caught you outside.

“You little shit, now you will have to take responsibility and I’m not letting you go any time soon.”

Jeon Wonwoo

Originally posted by visual-17

  • Likes money. A lot. And doesn’t like sharing. At all.
  • Easiest way for him to get rich was cards that’s why he started gambling at a really young age and now is a pro at it and is amazing at bluffing.
  • Enjoys tricking his own gang members and actually gets the most money out of them.

Played poker with him once. He lost. Now he wants his money back but you keep denying his challenge. He usually shows up at the most random places just to ask you. You got into your car and almost spilled your coffee when you noticed him sitting in the back seat.

“Wonwoo what the fuck?”

“Come on Y/N, let’s play.”

“Can you get over that already? Get the hell out of my car.”

“I guess I have to take some more drastic measures.” he said taking his gun out. “We’re going to my place.”

Kim Mingyu

Originally posted by fuckyeahmingyu

  • Can smuggle anything in and out starting from stolen cars and ending with guns.
  • Doesn’t stay in the city for too long as he always has deals all around the country.
  • But when he comes back everyone is extremely happy to see him as he’s mostly chill and just being near him calms the others down.

He met you when he was away on a trip. You asked him for help when your car broke down and he fell in love at first sight. He stayed in the city for more than two months just to keep seeing you and you eventually became good friends when Seungcheol was done with him ignoring his orders and went to get him back himself. Well Mingyu obviously didn’t want to leave you but you didn’t want to go to another city either so he decided to be blunt.

“Y/N I don’t know how you feel about me but love you so I’m sorry but you have only two choices, you either go with me on your own free will or I take you by force.”


Woozi/Lee Jihoon

Originally posted by seungcheofine

  • Somehow the ones who look the most innocent are the most dangerous in this gang. The same goes for Woozi. But he only uses violence when it’s necessary.
  • His specialty - torture. Favourite methods - teeth and fingernails pulling.
  • He charms his targets with his cute appearance and then gets every last bit of information they can muster.

You were unfortunate enough to be his target. You were screaming in pain for at least and hour, swearing that you don’t know anything when Seungcheol came in and told him that they got the wrong person. He set his tools aside and stood in silence for a few minutes.

“Fuck!” he shouted shoving everything from the table. You just watched in horror not knowing what’s going to happen next. He turned around and untied you. He was ashamed of himself and couldn’t look you in the eyes.

“At least let me treat you your wounds.”

DK/Lee Seokmin

Originally posted by livinthediamondlife

  • Is responsible for looking after the gang territories and making sure they don’t get taken over.
  • Usually doesn’t think twice when someone trespasses and just shoots them on the spot.
  • But still has incredibly good and friendly relationships with the residence of the areas he’s taking care of.

Trying to bypass through his territories was a big mistake. He noticed you’re not a local and decided to find out what you’re doing here. 

“Hey you!” he called you over but you just looked at him and started running. 

“What the heck?!” he thought as he started chasing you. You didn’t know the streets well and ended up in a dead end.

“I got you cornered. Now you’re going to tell me what you’re doing here or I will have to use violence.”

The8/Xu Minghao

Originally posted by mountean

  • He’s great at annoying and pissing everybody off easily but it’s hard to catch him as he’s incredibly fast.
  • That’s why they send him when their is a need to infiltrate, spy or track anybody.
  •  That doesn’t always work out as he likes to make either a grand entrance or exit and by doing that he attracts the attention of anybody nearby.

He was following you to get some information when he lost you. Suddenly he felt a knife press into his back.

“Why are you after me? Who hired you?”

He tried to take you by surprise by turning around and taking the knife out of your hands but he lost his balance and fell on top of you.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you asked.

“Well this is quite the unfortunate situation you got yourself in.” he smirked. “If you promise not to make a scene our meeting won’t take long.”

Boo Seungkwan

Originally posted by infinitblaq

*Jun shows up out of nowhere*

  • One of the first members who joined and everybody is thankful for that every single day because they wouldn’t have got where they are without him.
  • The missions he plans have a 99% chance of success.
  • Failure is not an option for him so he makes detailed strategies for all type of possible scenarios.

What a surprise You showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time and ruined all his perfect planing. The members haven’t seen him this pissed in a long time when he grabbed you and almost dragged you to one of the rooms. He roughly pushed you inside and you almost tripped on your own legs but his gentleman side couldn’t let a lady fall in front of him even when he was angry so he caught you midair and watched how confused you became by the second.

“Sit.” he said pulling you up and pointing you to the chair. “We have to talk.”

Hansol Vernon

Originally posted by sneezes

  • Knows anything and everything and the others should learn from him how to get verified information as fast as he gets.
  • Good with electronics that’s why he never goes anywhere without his trusted computer.
  • Despite some members protests he tends to sell the rarest info for big amounts of money to the other gangs.

He find out about you when he wanted to sell some info but the gang told him they already have what they need. Surprised that somebody besides him found it, he was determined to track you down. He was even more shocked when he saw that you’re a woman as there was not a lot of them in the industry.

“What? You think only men can do this type of work?”

“No but I find the women who do incredibly sexy.”

Dino/Lee Chan

Originally posted by dino-net

  • Despite being the youngest he knew about the mafia world the most.
  • His father had a gang and was killed during a deal so he asked Seungcheol for help to someday avenge him.
  • Takes all advice given to him very seriously and tries his best to help.

Some trusted former members of his father gang were asked to take care of him so that’s why you followed him and also joined this gang. He found this annoying as he wanted to escape his past and always treated you harshly but when he noticed that you’re not around anymore he got kind of sad. But to his delight you came back after a few weeks after taking care of business.

“Missed me?” You smirked.

“Please don’t ever do that again.” he said, giving you a surprise hug.

A/N: I wonder if I should make a masterlist but I’m so lazyyy… Anyhow, feel free to request more scenarios, reactions etc. I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female!! 😄

anonymous asked:

Since you brought up the sort of myths with fandom vs what you've seen in tv... I'm sure you've seen in probably all fandoms, there comes a time when a collective comes together to say that something is/isn't happening because of "X movie company" or "management". So my question is - from behind the scenes, how much of that is actually true? Like are there people really holding the strings like that? Or are we going crazy? 😳

The answer is it’s complicated.

Also, you’re not crazy.

Let me start by comparing TV writing to book writing. I just wrote a book, and I only got creative notes from one person, my editor. She does two rounds of notes with me (a general edit and a line edit) and then passes me off to the copyeditor, who gives me grammar and spelling and continuity notes. Then it goes to print! Easy peasy! (Well, not easy at all, it’s a lot of work, but very straightforward.)

Compare that process to the TV writing process. Every Rdale script is broken (meaning: figured out) in the writer’s room, where there are 11 writers plus Roberto, our fair boss and Showrunner. We all chime in with ideas and suggestions and Roberto decides what direction he likes best and chooses the pitches that work best until we have a working outline. Then we put the scenes onto notecards, moving them around, re-breaking, rejiggering, until the story works. That’s a lot of hands stirring the pot so far, but we have one head chef: Roberto.

Then we write an outline, which gets notes from the producers, the studio (Warner Brothers), and the network (CW). Then we adjust based on those notes, which come from a few of the execs at each company, who are smart and very good at their jobs, which involves reading and analyzing TV scripts from many shows and deciding what works well for them. They’re drawing on their whole careers-worth of experience doing this on lots of different shows to figure out how to guide the direction of Rdale.

Then we go to script. The writer of that episode takes the very detailed outline and starts writing scenes. Sometimes s/he might farm out some scenes to other people in the writers room, or sometimes the room will move on to the next episode and leave that writer to write solo.

Then the completed script goes to Roberto, who does a pass on it to make it sound like his vision for the show, and feel like the characters he has in his head.

Then, when he’s happy, he brings it back to the writers room and we all read it and go through it page by page together to revise it and give notes. At this point, Roberto has the script open on a computer in front of him, and he changes dialogue, action lines, scenes, etc. live as we give feedback.

Then, the script goes back to the producers, the studio, and the network, to get notes from them. Sometimes those notes are minimal, and sometimes they’re major, it all depends. The writer and Roberto make revisions based on those notes. Sometimes we have to go back to the room and rebreak as a group, but usually not.

Somewhere along the way, someone at Archie Comics reads it to make sure we’re taking care of the characters they’ve had and loved for 75 years.

At some point, someone in a legal department reads it for clearance, which means sometimes we can’t use certain brand names in dialogue or else we’ll get sued, and we can’t use certain people’s names unless they’re in the public eye.

Also someone in some department reads it to make sure we aren’t swearing too much or referring to something too vulgar or the FCC will fine us.

Then the script is sent up to Vancouver where production reads it and starts pre-production. Sometimes there are changes to the script at that point because we can’t get a location or we can’t get an actor because he’s booked on another series, or the weather won’t allow us to shoot somewhere, or we have to move an outdoor scene indoors, or a night scene to day for budget reasons. Revisions are made here. The actors read it, and occasionally they’ll have notes which require revisions.

Then it gets shot. Then the footage is sent to post-production, who starts to edit it. In the edit, frequently we’ll learn that our episodes are several (maybe many) minutes over, and we’ll have to cut lines, jokes, moments, sometimes whole scenes for time.

Then those rough cuts get sent to the producers, the studio, the network for notes.

You get the idea yet? There are lots and LOTS of hands in the pie here. Hundreds, maybe a thousand. If a certain idea isn’t making it through from initial pitch to the final screen, it could be any one of the people along the way raising a red flag. Usually there’s no grand conspiracy – there’s too many people with competing interests for that. If you find that you’re less than satisfied with something on your screen, it could be for the devious reason you suspect or it could be for a completely benign reason like budget or schedule. There’s no one grand puppetmaster holding the strings, but there are lots of people making changes along the way.

tldr: There are too many companies and too many people for any kind of grand conspiracy, but that doesn’t mean that a bunch of people giving tiny notes couldn’t add up to something bigger.

noolss  asked:

okay al so imagine: Neil and Andrew have been on the same pro team for a while when their nutritionist enlists neils help to improve Andrews diet. the high ups enforce it. how would Neil convince Andrew to eat healthier?? he'll find a way, Andrews jobs depends on it (but like imagine how funny this could be) <3

what’s this? al answering a prompt that’s been in her inbox for seven months? YIKES

  • it starts when andrew opens the freezer one morning for breakfast
  • and there’s no ice cream
  • there’s a bag of peas and sweetcorn
  • there’s an empty ice tray
  • but there’s no ice cream
  • which is strange, because andrew remembers buying some the other day
  • and andrew never forgets
  • he goes back out to the lounge where neil is giving sir an intense stare while scratching behind his ears
  • which is a sure sign of guilt. neil is intense, but he says that the cats are the most calming influence in his life. which is sappy.
  • so andrew stands there and waits for neil to meet his eyes
  • (generally andrew’s found that if he exists for long enough in neil’s presence, he starts talking)
  • (sometimes even when andrew isn’t there neil will start talking)
  • maybe if neil doesn’t respond, andrew’s death glare will develop true murderous powers. that would be a win-win, as far as andrew is concerned.

Keep reading

BTS Masterlist


Originally posted by sugataecups

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

While fixing up clothes, S/O accidentally finds the ring Pre!fall Gabe and Jack had been planning on using to propose to them :3

This was so cute to write! Thanks so much for the request! <3

Overwatch Masterlist

Jack Morrison
(I Can See That This Is Real Love)

You and Jack have a United Nations dinner to go to this evening so it requires you to dress up and look nice. You’re currently in the bathroom of the apartment you share, doing your makeup in the large mirror. The dress you’re wearing is red with a slit down the side, causing your leg to peak through when you walk. You admire it for a moment in the mirror and you’ve got admit that you look like you could play the part of the Strike Commander’s girlfriend.

“You look beautiful.”

You see Jack through the mirror, leaning against the doorframe. He’s wearing a black suit with the matching tie to your dress. The smile on his face is tender as he watches you finish putting on your lipstick.

“Thank you,” you tell him as you turn around to face him. “You look great yourself.” You pat his chest gently before he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close.

Jack leans down to gives you a kiss but you lean your head back, preventing him from doing so. He frowns down at you and all you say is “fresh coat of lipstick. Sorry.”

He gives you a playful laugh before trailing his lips down your jaw and neck. You avoid biting your lip since you don’t want to ruin the lipstick you just expertly applied but since you don’t, a moan escapes your lips as he continues to kiss along your collarbone.

“If you continue with that, then we’re going to be late,” you whisper.

“What’s a few minutes?’ Jack murmurs against your skin.

“Ana’s death glare,” you tease.

“I suppose you’re right.” Jack stands up and pulls away from you but you notice his pants look off.

“Wait, honey!”

Jack turns back around to you. “What?”

You take a step and close the distance between the two of you, feeling his pants for what’s wrong. Jack tenses underneath your touch. You feel a square object in one of his pockets before reaching in and pulling it out. It’s a small black box and your heart drops in anticipation.

Jack quickly grabs it from your hand and goes to speak but you interrupt him before he can say anything.

“Is that what I think it is?”

“It is. I was going to propose after dinner tonight but you’ve beat me to the punch.”

“Oh,” your cheeks redden from slight embarrassment.

“What do you say?” Jack kneels down to one knee and opens the box. The ring is a decent size and elegant. Everything you could have secretly wished for. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” You drop down to his level and give him a kiss, lipstick be damned. Before you wrap your arms around him in a hug. “Of course, I will!”

Jack’s face lights up before he lifts you up and spins you around, careful to not knock you against any of the objects in the bathroom. He sets you down on your feet before placing another kiss against your lips, breaking it with a smile. “How about it, my future wife? Let’s get going before Ana has our heads.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you say cheerfully.

Jack grabs your left hand and slides the ring on before the two of you walk out hand in hand.

Gabriel Reyes
(Dance With Me)

You, Gabe, plus a few other Overwatch members have been invited to a state dinner by one of Gabriel’s former bosses. The dinner goes lovely as you sit beside him, making small talk with old colleagues of his and having more fun than you could remember having in a long time. Blackwatch is stressful on the two of you but you notice how Gabe looks more relaxed than he has in ages.

You’re currently standing near the edge of the room, talking to Lena and Angela with a drink in your hand when a familiar tune begins to course through your ears. It’s the first song your grandparents danced to on their wedding night and you can’t remember how many times you asked them to teach you the dance they choreographed when you were younger.

You feel a familiar presence behind you as Gabe wraps one arm around your waist to pull you close before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Come dance with me, Cariño.”

You turn around to face him before scanning the room. “But no one else is dancing.”

“Who cares?” Gabe grabs the glass out of your hand and gives it to Angela to hold before pulling you along the floor, accidently bumping into Jack.

“Sorry Jack!” You exclaim before Gabriel brings you to a fairly empty part of the room.

Gabe spins you so you’re facing him and starts backing you up in familiar steps before dipping your upper body. You stay there for a few seconds before Gabriel brings you back up and you look at him with amazement. How did he learn your grandparents’ dance? It doesn’t really matter at this point since Gabe is spinning you around the floor with expert precision. You feel warmth and awe fill your body with the kind gesture your boyfriend has done for you.

At one point throughout the dance, you felt a small object in Gabe’s pants that didn’t feel like his wallet, keys or phone. Once the dance has finished, everyone is looking at you two and giving small claps as you walk over to where Angela and Lena are standing.

Lena leans over and whispers in your ear. “You two are so cute!”

You smile at her and tell her, “Thank you,” before turning to Gabe.

“That was wonderful! But Gabe?”


“What’s in your pocket?”

“Nothing. Just my wallet and keys.”

“But when you spun me around it felt like there was something else in there.”

“I can assure you, there’s nothing else there.”

You give him a quick look of ‘I don’t believe you’ before leaning in for a kiss. He falls for it and just before your lips touch, you place your hand in his pocket and grab a small box.

“Ha!” You turn away to look at it. It’s a small black ring box and you feel your heart speed up in anticipation. You quickly turn back to face him. “What’s this?”

He runs his fingers through his hair before speaking. “I was going to propose a bit later if you had been patient.”

“Oh,” you whisper as your cheeks turn a slight shade of red from ruining your boyfriend’s plan.

“So, why don’t I do it right now?” He asks as he steps closer to you, grabbing the box from your hand.

You nod your head in agreement before Gabriel grabs your hand and drags you through the crowd to the near by balcony. He gets down on one knee and grabs your left hand while opening the box with the other. The ring is simple and elegant at the same time. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!” You quickly drop to your knees and wrap your arms around him to give him a hug. “Yes, yes, yes! I will marry you!” Gabe pulls away for a brief second to put the ring on your finger before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you close.

The kiss you share is long and passionate before you break off, slightly out of breath. Gabe leans his forehead against yours, lips millimetres apart. “I love you so much, Cariño.”

“I love you too.”

Request List

✔️Clubs and Blood–Jerome smut? where he gets incredibly jealous where it gets to the point where he kills the guy right in front of you thats been flirting with you all night? and then ends with angry passionate s m u t ?

✔️Laughter is the best medicine–jerome fluff where the reader was held hostage and jerome saves her but shes hurt and he cares for her and is just super over protective? thank you so much and love your imagines!

✔️Number one fan–Can you do one where the reader is the number one crime boss/villain and Jerome admires her so much that he follows them around until he gets caught. Maybe they become partners, he gets jealous and stuff, and it has a pretty happy ending.

✔️Breaking out my baby–Imagine where the reader gets thrown in Arkham when Jerome is killed,since she was crying over his dead body and Jim saw this as an opportunity to arrest her.So when Jerome returns he goes to save her,finding her completely insane from being tortured

Jelly beans–Could you please do a fanfic where Jerome gets Jealous or one where he meets the reader in Arkham? Thank you! You’re a great reader! I look forward to reading more of your work soon! :)

Sticks and Stones? Staples and Thrones- You should do one where Jerome meets Harley for the first time after being all cut up. (Yet he’s somehow still beautiful!!) And he takes an immediate liking to her because she’s totally bad ass and doesn’t care about his scars? The rest is your imagination, I guess.

Don’t be so stupid–Could you do a rough kinky Jerome smut

Perfectly plump–Hi can you write something where Jerome reacts to someone making a rude comment about the readers weight? Thanks XxX

Lost and found–Could you do a Jerome imagine where he finds the reader after coming back to life

Monkey see monkey do–Jerome with a little kid who likes to mimick him and wants to be just like him? Murdering and all? It can be whenever in the time line

I’m the boss–I was thinking of a jerome x reader. Like maybe you’re part of the Maniax with him and you get in an argument with him during a job that gets a little rough. Maybe he pushes you against a wall or something? Maybe an “i’ll deal with you later” and so on and so forth.

Eye catching–I need me some Jerome circus imagine in my life!!! Maybe you could do one were the reader is into 80’s/90’s fashion and rocks it?. She’s blonde and loves clowns and freaky shit so when they bump into each other in Gotham’s carnival they’re both instantly stunned!? They could be super flirtatious and both as bad as one another. (P.S if you make the reader British I’ll love you for life

Has anyone seen my Harley?!–Could I get a Jerome fic? Him and Harley were already an established relationship and she was there with him the night he died, after he kills Dwight he goes to find her!! I need total worship of his face please :)) You can have whatever you want to happen just as long as they reunite.

Sweetie pie–Okay so Jerome always seems to have a sort of narcissistic additude right? What if there was a girl he’d known his whole life who he had on a pedestal? Like do no wrong, maybe even wanting the cult to worship her instead.

You wish!–Hi can you do an image of Jerome X Reader where everyone knows that the reader belongs to Jerome even after death so when Dwight tried to become Jerome he takes the reader and she keeps fighting him and saying things like he will never be Jerome so Dwight hits her on live t.v. causing Jerome to become furious and he saves the reader in the end.

King and Queen–Reader met him when he was in circus and both are crazy (XD) in love with each other. And have plans to be King and Queen of Gotham city. When Jerome is in Arkham he misses her so much. One day he find Queen of hearts card under his plate..and then Queen’s and hers entourage most epic and badass arrival in history.
I have end in my mind, but don’t want to tie you with to many details. So you have free hand, I guess. Just some mad fluff.

Sweet little monster–Jerome with a little kid who likes to mimick him and wants to be just like him? Murdering and all? It can be whenever in the time line

Have you learned nothing?!–Can you do an imagine where The reader is Jeromes ex and he finds them after they went on a date with another man and it turns into jealous smut?

Good Cop Bad Cop–Maybe Jerome could have a thing for, or be in love with, Jim Gordon’s fiancé or girlfriend before he died?And she finds reawakened Jerome instead of Lee?

Triangles–Can you do a imagine or headcanon where everyone likes the reader, as in they’re all cool with her & got her back, so when they find out she’s in a polyamorous relationship with Edward & Jerome (let’s pretend that Penguin isn’t head over heels for Ed ) they getting really upset cus shes basically everyone’s little sister & its just a bunch of funny dramatic fluff mess 😂😂😂 Also your work is awesome❤❤

Lookie here!–Hi I was wondering if you could do a Jerome imagine where he meets the reader at Arkham is always trying to her attention

Innocence is Pure–Do you think you could please make a fluffy imagine where the reader is not into the whole, “murder yay” thing (I guess you can say she’s a bit innocent), so Jerome is a bit sensitive/careful around her? Idk, something different than when the reader is a bad girl.

Now that’s interesting–I love your blog and you’re writing can I request a Jerome Smut where he’s just been bought back to life and he comes to find and sees your dating some one else and gets jealous . So he shows you who you belong to

Nice Effects!–Can I request an imagine where Jerome is back from the dead and on the hunt for his face when he meets reader and she points him to Dwight and when Jerome finally gets his face and puts it back on they can kiss and have some naughty times lol?

The best people are–reader being a normal teen girl and then being crazy and then being a maniac and then being jerome’s girlfriend or something, i can’t be more clear XD

Small but violent–could I maybe get a fic where Jerome is just wandering the streets to just cause chaos, and sees the reader and decides to mess with her. but he seriously underestimates what they’re capable of and he likes her dark side. I hope that makes sense and I gotta say I love your work. Makes my day.

Chicken noodle soup–Can you do a request with Jerome where he comes home “after work” to a sick gf and they just have a cuddly moment wrapped up in the covers and just fluff

Red as blood–Jerome request His not-so-sane plans for valentine’s day? Humorous yet smutty, maybe x

Familiar– Can I request an imagine where the reader and Jerome both come back from the dead and don’t remember each other. But then Jerome remembers the reader after a near death experience

Armed and ready–Could you do a Jerome smut where he is in a relationship with s crazy evil girl y/n and he basically gets arrested and then y/n bursts into the prison covered in weapons and saves him then they have rough sex with a lot of biting from Jerome

Entertainment–can you please make an imagine where the reader is like the hottest stripper at the club and jerome notice how good she looks and can’t stop looking at her so he take her to his place and they well you know. Thank you!!

Roof tops and dark ally ways–Can I have an imagine where Jerome stalks

Who even likes sticks?–Can I have an imagine where I’m curvy and Jerome has a crush

A guest actually managed to get me fired...

… because my boss is a coward.

I usually don’t work Saturdays. But last week I did. That’s OK though because I know Saturdays have someone else at the desk. However this particular Saturday that person was not there because my boss didn’t schedule one. So there goes my security and my assistance. There goes my stress relief because he’s my favorite coworker.

So I have a full house. A full house of one ball team and the rest are a bunch of regular customers and government trainees who are accustomed to a level of comfort my small town (and my boss… former boss… doesn’t even attempt to do by hire maintenance guys who can fix things like the mold in the fitness room or buy new weights to replace the missing ones?? People steal random things). I had three (technically 4) problem children.

One was a 3rd party where it put her in a king smoking rather than a 2 queen, nonsmoking. Room 325 who was suppose to be extended a day and was not (the the technical part is the women who I checked into that room). Then the dad and son who got me fired (the dad, not his son).

There are cameras on all 3 floors. Only 2 floors work. You read that correctly.

First hiccup was the 3rd party who I had to send to another hotel on our bill. I called my boss and told him. He was cool with it but wanted to know why I didn’t call her. 1, that’s 1st shifts job but they get a pass and 2, 3rd party only gives you a name so there is no way to call (that’s where that pass comes in). 325 didn’t get extended, again 1st shift but I wasn’t there and she could be lying but she’s nice so I’m not gonna chew her out. I told my boss I’m gonna comp the room and he can look over books in the AM because I don’t have the authorization to like my title is suppose to but does not because my boss won’t put anyone (not even assistant manager) on authorization for review. He was cool with it. Didn’t even act bothered. Said that’s what he’d do.

Then the dad and his kid…

He was mad because all we had left was a study and I would not give him a price of a standard. Of all the things my boss is cool with… that’s not one of them. Like… take it out of your check not cool with it. And that was all I heard of him. For ever. Never saw them for the rest of the night.

I have always told on myself, keep that in mind. I don’t like surprising my boss and gives him the opportunity to prep for whatever goes on. Usually things that are broken that maintenance should have fixed or someone being a fucking racist in my presence.

I get a text on SUNDAY EVENING. AFTER coming into work. It’s 3 paragraphs long of condescending, passive aggressive bullshit telling me I’m fired.

So I call him.

The guy with the kid said I cursed him and screamed at him AND his kid (who has autism) so it took him all night to comfort him. If I was not fired by the time he comes back then he was going to take this to the papers.

Even though there is footage of the opposite.

So my boss fired me. Even if there is footage to show otherwise. I have rent coming up and I live paycheck to paycheck.

Illis Impetus Latrinus

So I’ll start off by saying I have minimal experience DMing, only one dreaded 4E session over a chat roulette. But I’d recently got together with large group of adult friends to play 5e. The first two sessions were 9 or so hours long (we only play monthly so we make a day of it), and it was during that time I realized my players were quite… interesting. They were all new, fresh from normal society and very pushing on wanting to be thrown into the game with minimal preparation, no beginner’s stuff. So other than a basic tutorial they haven’t had much idea as to how to play the game.

The first session was atrociously bad, I was coming up with the encounter, enemies, environment and basically everything else on the fly, but it still became the most memorable moments in our campaign so far, until session 3. I’ll preface session 3 with that I, as DM, will not change die rolls when they are important, and to never say “no” to a player if they take the game seriously.

Well, by session 3 they’d gotten in the middle of a political quest I’d made, for several Player levels later. But with the power of their stupid luck, they rolled high enough to get the higher-up person to hire. Hire them, for the assassination of a War General of the most prosperous city in my world. Now the War General was given insane thought, buffs, and items. I’d designed him to be a final boss character much much later in the game. So I think: I’ll let them attempt to kill him and watch them fail terribly, then I’ll make an easy escape and they can come back to fight him another day. This did not happen.

During a gathering in celebration of a holiday I made for my world, which was preemptive for a big meeting between the world powers, my players manage to sneak in and find him. As they sit and talk among themselves, my older brother who plays says, “If we can get him somewhere alone before getting to his room, we can make this a lot easier.”

My one player I allowed to be an Undead, and this undead was busy inside their bag of holding, chewing on the corpse of the guy they killed in the alley. In there he was using some spells to freeze the blood to make what we come to call GoresiclesTM. So this undead player asks me, “If I gave him the poison we bought and I mix it with the blood and make him drink, would he throw up?”

I reply, to my later great dismay, “It would take a little bit but he’d probably throw up, probably be running to the bathroom once he started feeling queasy.” The player walks up to the general, a large and scary-looking man, and hands him the drink saying it was from their female companion. When he asks what it is my player simply replies, “It’s a bloody mary.”

Well, he drinks it and he rushes to the bathroom which is in the middle of a large bathhouse with an open roof. He gets there and begins puking and my players all at once, jump on his back and begin pushing down on his head to put it into the toilet. Every time they roll to grapple him down they win until several rounds have gone by in just drowning him in the toilet. They did all this, fully knowing there were people in the nearby open baths! But, and this is where the dismay kicks in, every time I rolled for the Perception of others I would roll a one or a two. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Eventually I started sending people to use the bathroom, but one of the players companions goes and begins convincing people to turn around. He was doing this, and had the lowest Charisma of any of my players, a total Charisma of 5. He just kept rolling nat 20’s, over and over and over, all of them did! Even when one of my players blew a hole through the bathroom with eldritch blast, NO ONE NOTICED. Eventually they drowned him in that toilet, my boss who was 6 levels ahead of what would be a deadly encounter for them. Then my players made it out of the building undetected, with no issue whatsoever….

After that they decided to make it tradition and painted this Latin phrase onto the side of the boat they stole:

“Omnis Qui Rebellionem Contra Nobus Timueritis Illis Impetus Latrinus” Or simply, “Illis Impetus Latrinus”

It means, “Everyone who revolts against us, fear the flushing of the toilet.” and shortly, “Fear the flush of our toilet.” My players now carry out all of their executions by drowning their enemies in a custom-made execution toilet. You can probably imagine the kind of crap I have to deal with. 

Ba Dum Tss…

Don't waste my time when I'm tired

I’m the youngest person working in the finance department of a company. Last Friday, I was running on empty after 55+ hour week and enough caffeine to kill a small child, and was about to go home for the weekend. As I grab my things, my older coworker runs up to me frantically asking if I can help her with her excel spreadsheet because she has a report due TODAY and she doesn’t know how to do what needs to be done. Me being the nice guy that I am, I walk back and sit down with her.

About an hour and a half later, what had started as me showing her how to do things had ended with me finishing her spreadsheet for her. I save the file and tell her she can run the report and turn it in.

“Oh, Jesze_, this report isn’t due for two weeks. Thanks for staying late today so I can turn it in early and look like a great employee even though I’m not at all!” I might’ve paraphrased a bit but that’s beside the point.

After she left, I got a fantastic idea to be petty. This particular coworker is the one in the office that claims one of the tables in the lunch room as her own, and she does needlessly large puzzles on them. I’m talking 1000+ pieces. On my way out of the building, I stopped by her table and took a puzzle piece that goes right in the middle of one of her puzzles. Today, exactly one week later, I walk into the lunch room and see her tearing the place apart looking for this puzzle piece. It’s currently sitting on top of some old food in my trash can at home.

Edit: she wasn’t stealing my work and claiming it as her own. I made sure my boss knew I was helping her with it. She just wasted my time and pushed my weekend back further.

Super Double Triple Agent Akechi AU

I had this hilarious idea where Akechi is some Snape-level secret double-triple agent or something working for like Mitsuru or something to catch the real black masked persona user around the time they realized personas and shadows were involved because the ones who don’t die basically have apathy syndrome

so they investigate and realize Shido is involved but the track record of annoying ‘gods’ playing a role in this kind of thing makes them decide to play along

so they fabricate the story that he’s a detective and raise his record with a bunch of fake cases and he gets close to Shido but Shido never lets Akechi meet the real killer

and everyone he 'took care of’ (by which I mean drives insane) himself is actually in super witness protection and when you get to the part where he’s about to kill you, he’s actually like

“This is probably really confusing but I totally didn’t sell you out to kill you I just needed Shido to think you were dead”

And they’re all like

“Well fuck, that didn’t work out the way I wanted at all”

And they’re all scrambling to figure out what to do next when he realizes that he just 'saved’ a cognitive version of the guy he was trying to save and he shows up at the cafe like

“You guys ruined all my plans but he still thinks you’re dead and I kinda need him so like stop trying to eviscerate me with that spoon Futaba I stg I will arrest you”

And then it’s just a few days of

“I thought you were the killer”

“Well I thought one of you may have been the killer”

“If we aren’t the killers then who the fuck killed my mom”

And it just goes on as they try and figure out who could have been on to them all this time

And in the end it turns out the killer is someone completely unexpected like you walk into the 'final’ boss chamber (the one twenty hours before the actual ending) and it’s that kid with the green pencil case who sits behind Akira in class and he’s actually Akechi’s secret brother who wanted revenge against Shido for similar reasons Aketchi wanted revenge and also he wants to get revenge on Aketchi for being successful

And then they all team back up to stop Yaldobaoth and life is good.

Haru’s dad is in persona prison, and actually not dead at all, Futaba’s Mom is still dead because Akechi wasn’t investigating at the time of her death and all the accidents with the subway were staged and nobody actually got hurt too badly. And deaths were just fake numbers.

Maybe I will write this crackfic someday

Just to clear though the idea just made me laugh and occurred me while reading a Harry Potter fanfic .w.

i’ve never been so ready to quit a job in my life.

my boss has been a massive asshole to me for the last few months - but last night she was the worst she’s ever been. we went out with all the employees from our stores to dinner for a going away party for one of the employees. my boss didn’t say anything to me the entire time, except once. i made a comment that my car was clean and she goes “i can’t believe that ANYTHING you own is clean.” and it completely blindsided me. i’m not an unclean person in any way whatsoever.

and then, she asked me to take one of the employees home but i was trying to rush home to see my dad, as he was leaving the very next morning to go on a work assignment that he would be away for MONTHS, and i was upset about it and wanted to see him. i started to say no to taking this employee home and tried to explain myself and my boss cuts me off and goes “whatever, never mind, i don’t care.” and that was all she said to me all night.

i drove home crying the entire time. i’m looking like crazy for new jobs. i cant handle this stress anymore.

I have a terrible joke, and I must share it.

So a frog goes in for a loan. He hops up to the desk of Patricia Whack, one of the bank employees, and says, “I want to borrow $500,000.”
Patricia says, “Well that’s a lot.”
Frog says, “It’s okay, my dad’s Mick Jagger.”
“That’s nice,” Patricia answers, “but if you want to borrow that much, the bank needs some kind of collateral.”
So the frog takes a ceramic pig out of its little bag and sets it on Patricia’s desk (he looks very smug at this point). He says, “I think this ought to take care of that.”
“Uh, let me check with my boss.” So Patricia takes the ceramic pig and goes back to her boss’s office and explains the situation. “And what the hell even is this?” she concludes, pointing to the ceramic pig.

Her boss says, “It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

someone i once knew

This one is for @paradoxicalpsychic ! Thank you so much for so much encouragement and prompts!!

Read on AO3 here!

Talking has never been Aomine’s strong suit.

Words just… aren’t easy.

Aomine is brash and abrasive; he says whatever is on his mind, and really doesn’t give a shit about the consequences. You don’t like being told the truth right to your face? Tough. He’s not the kind to sugarcoat things, because he honestly just doesn’t see the point in it.

If he’s being honest, his nature has always been a cause of strain in his relationships. Some of his friends have gone, not willing to put up with it; the few who have stuck around have helped dull the edges around his personality, but he’s never going to be a nice guy. It’s just not who he is.

But since his poor attitude has lost him the only relationship he ever really wanted to try for - well, he has realized that he can’t keep living his life this way.

Still, though, when confronted with someone, the words that he really wants to say, the ones buried deep, they really struggle to come out. When he’s forced into social interactions, he just reverts back to old habits.

It’s a lot easier talking to someone… not face-to-face.

Keep reading

Teru Headcanons

yo yo i just got all caught up to the manga so its time to pump out some Content featuring my favorite fashion disaster.  Edit: so it looks like this is going to be a series now

// Teru // Shou // Ritsu // Reigen // Mob // Serizawa //

  • a fashion disaster
    • not even like ironically or anything he just really fucking likes bright colours. Teru stop put those bright pink plaid capris down you’re negatively influencing Mob with this
    • thinks he can wear and look good in anything
    • thinks
  • usually stays super composed in public because he still subconsciously cares about his Cool Image
    • actually is a huge dork when left alone 
  • puny sense of humour, a lot of eyebrow wiggles and finger guns, snorts when he laughs really hard, smiles a lot when with friends, all that good stuff
  • has a tea obsession
    • can’t leave the store without buying some more loose leaf tea
      • “oohh, what’s this? vanilla chai tea? oh damn I probably don’t have this one yet.”
        • he does have that kind. He bought it the last five times he went shopping
    • likes green tea in particular but hey he’s flexible
    • has a Tea Cupboard
      • it’s overflowing with tea that would last him a few lifetimes
      • has some of his ‘fancy’ mugs that are chipped and the designs are kinda worn and have weird flowery patterns on them
      • he only ever lets Mob use these mugs
  • he secretly can’t stand silence in his apartment
    • he will always have the radio playing in the kitchen, the TV barely ever turns off in the living room. He usually hums to himself in his room since it’s the quietest room in the house
      • it makes him feel lonely when it’s too quiet, kinda like a reminder that he is very very alone
  • likes to tease the shit out of ritsu
    • “ah hello little brother how are–” “don’t call me that.”
    • “hey I know that your birthday is pretty far away but i bought you these spoons anyways because I figured you’re probably almost out of them by now…. you know, because you bend sp–” “I’ll take them but this means nothing.”
    • “hello Ritsu welcome to my house. I’m sorry to tell you that i had to hide all my spoons because I can’t afford to–” “Hanazawa I swear to god drop it with the spoon thing.”
  • Mob and Teru are friends! Teru would now die for Mob
  • calls Reigen ‘boss’ all the time. No one can really figure out why since Teru only goes to Spirits and Such to see Mob or to eat all of Reigen’s food
  • if you invite him to your house, keep him out of your kitchen. He will eat you out of house and home with a smirk on his face the whole time
  • “Hey do you want to come along to the festival?” “aah sorry little brother, I have some Very important Adult stuff to do–” “My brother will be there.” “What time do we meet up?”
  • he’s bi and he makes sure that the whole world knows it
  • very Dramatic when it comes to being sick
    • “I’m sorry Kageyama-kun I can’t go to the festival today.” “what’s the matter?” “I coughed once this morning and I think I’m dying.”

so more like bad coworker story. i work at a small coffee shop and usually there’s only one of us working there. well this one girl is SO big on getting out at exactly when she’s scheduled to leave, even tho we’re usually there about half an hour to an hour after our scheduled leave to help cover while the other goes and runs errands, she’ll leave us with unfinished tasks so we have to finish them for her when it would literally just take her 5 extra minutes. so my other coworker who is one of the best workers there decided to come in an hour early so she could run the errands and still let the other girl get out when she wanted to. well they ended up being a little busy so she stayed to help, then when it slowed down she said “i’m going to the grocery store, ill be right back.” so she goes and when she gets back like not even 10 minutes after the other girl was supposed to leave, she’s not there and our boss is. he said that the girl told him that my coworker just left without saying anything. such fucking bullshit. the same girl has also thrown temper tantrums and given us eye rolls when we try to correct her on something she’s doing wrong, then goes and tells my boss that we’re picking on her?? i wouldn’t be surprised if she’s fired within the next month because my coworker is also the assistant manager and she is on very thin ice with her.

Clone Wars and Rebels character summaries Part 4:



2. Purple lightsaber, because fuck your gender norms.

3. Not fond of Problematic Fave.

4. Badass.

5. Sam Jackson.

6.Decapitated Bubba Feet’s daddy.

7. Kind of a jerkass but still cool.

8. Doesn’t have as many spotlight episodes as you’d expect him to.

9. One of three important black people in the whole galaxy.


1. Didn’t deserve to die the way he did.

2.Brought Bisexual Disaster to the Jedi Temple.

3. Is sort of an unofficial second mentor to her.

4. Genuinely cares about his clones and thinks of them as people, it’s so sweet I can’t.

5. Cinnamon role.

6. I think he’s in his 400s or something.

7. Wears oxygen mask and goggles all the time because his species can only breathe the atmosphere of their homeworld.

8. I guess the mask helps him survive in space for a limited time as well.


1. Seriously, she needs help. you’ll find out why in the season 5 finale.

2. Free her.

3. Not to be confused with Wicked Witch Of The Outer Rim.

4. Almost always has her hood up.

5. Even when she’s asleep.

6. Bisexual Disaster’s ex-girlfriend. I mean best friend. I mean girlfriend.

7. Trained by Green Jedi Mum.

8. So fucking stressed out.

9. Goes from 0 to 100 really quickly.

10. Got posessed by a creepy brainworm once. It was terrifying.


1. Trained Needs Help.

2. Friends with Sassmaster, Problematic Fave, and Bisexual Disaster.

3. Honestly tho she and Sassmaster are prolly friends with benefits.

4. “I don’t care” she says, caringly, as she cares deeply.

5. Verbally owned Boss Ass Bitch once. But then Boss Ass Bitch almost killed her, so I guess it wasn’t a good thing.


1. Sexy facial hair.

2. My husband.

3. Seriously I’m so gay for him hELP ME.

4. Stands up to General Douchenozzle.

5. Becomes a Conspiracy Theorist in Season 6. 

6. Tuns out he’s not very good at it tho. :/

7. Bookworm’s best friend.

8. Breaks things.


1. Follows the rules.

2. Good at board games.

3. Six Minus One’s bestie.

4. Survived an explosion that he was literally inches away from, talk about badass.

5. Has OCD probably.

6. Instinctively repeats every order, even tho he knows everyone else heard it too.

7. After getting blown up he gets captured and experimented on by Water Trombone, or whatever his name his.


1. Grumpy.

2. Uncle Plo’s second-in-command.

3. Hates Life-Sized Oscar Award.

4. Boss Ass Bitch cut his eye out.

5. Won’t admit it, but Uncle Plo is totally a father figure to him.


1. The Ambiguously Gay Duo!

2. Comic relief.

3. Basically the Skywalker family pets.

4. Those 2 episodes from season 4, those were so weird but so hilarious, God.

5. Somehow everyone understands Sentient Trash Can even tho he speak in beeping sounds.

6. Life-Sized Oscar Award is such a fucking whiner, Jesus Christ.

It’s been awhile

A/N:Just a short Shane Smut XD Expect My Character Roxy to be in ALL My WWE Fics. Also a little background on them two. They’ve been together for well I’ll just say quite awhile (I’ve been in love with Shane for 17 years) and were Married at one point.Now she’s Married to Triple H,but her and Shane got back together when he came back to WWE. Roxy’s Polyamoures. 

Warnings:Smut,slight Daddy kink.

After Smackdown: I was backstage doing my stretches (Not in my wrestling gear),in a low cut top and shorts,my hair in a high ponytail,when I hear the door open I think I know who it so I don’t turn around just smirk and do the splits. I hear Shane Mcmahon take off his jacket as he slides up behind me and with two deft hands,picks me up from my splits,still not facing me he kissed my neck.

“Mmmm…Roxy I’ve been stressed out tonight and we haven’t had time alone in forever.” Shane says in a low tone. “How about we fix that?” 

I shiver as his breath hits my ear and turning around,wrap my arms around his neck kissing him passionately. When we break apart,he looks down at me with those half lidded lustful eyes and smirks,a dimple appearing in one cheek. I almost swoon right there,already feeling my body respond to him.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Shane reply’s. Shane turns me around facing away from him again,my hands in fists at my chest,he holds my wrists and nuzzles my neck. “Now since you’ve had a stressful day too how about I take over those thoughts for awhile,hm?” He whispers in my ear. Raising his eyebrows and smiling.

I intake sharply and nod. Shane lets go of my wrists and palms my thighs,then slowly dances his fingers up them,grazing my butt,he lets go and takes a step back. “Turn around.” I shakily turn towards him. 

“Take of your boots.” Shane demands,causally. I do so slowly as he stands there hands clasped in front him ,he looks up slowly,eyeing me with those puppy dog eyes and licking his lips. 

“Next.” He gestures to my top and shorts. I smirk knowing he want’s a show as I slowly pull down my shorts,nothing underneath. Shane’s eyebrows raise  and he cocks his head as he starts to unbutton his shirt still keeping a safe distance. After his dress shirt is off and I’m completely naked,he snaps his fingers and points down. 

I walk towards him,heat behind my eyes,I kneel down and start undoing his pants,his head rolls back as I take his already hard penis out and start to roll my tongue over the head,i take all of him in my mouth and start sucking,hard. 

Shane grabs the base of my ponytail and forces my head back,forcing my mouth to let go of him. He tsks and shakes a finger. “Nah Baby girl Daddy doesn’t want to cum yet. It’s been too long.” He stops mid sentence and grabs me up,standing on the leather couch and pressing me up against the wall,eyes burning into me,he whispers. “I’m not letting you off that easy.” 

Shane kisses me deeply,one hand fisting my hair,the other locked around my wrist,pinning me to the wall. I wrap my legs around his now naked body,using my free hand to snake around his neck,I’m so aroused sliding up and down his  hard cock but never having him inside. 

I feel like I’m gonna die,tears spring to my eyes and I moan around his lips,practically whimpering. “Please Shane.” He pulls back a little,his face serious. 

“What did you call me?” I backtrack real quick. “Daddy,I meant Daddy. Please fuck me I need you.” My fingers his short silver hair. My silver fox smirks and catches both wrists,pinning them above my head.  “Of course Princess,but were not going to fuck tonight,I want to last,so were going all night long.”

 I close my eyes and bite my lip. Shane grips my chin, “Understand?” All I can do is nod as he pushes himself into me slowly.

 Pumping slowly with a growl,Shane releases my hands and,picking me up by my ass cheeks,he leads me down to the couch,still thrusting inside me,he uses one hand to play with my clit and bites my neck,then goes down to lick and stuck on my nipples.  

My eyes roll back and I moan out. “No I’m gonna cum.” He looks up at me and says in a stern voice. “Who’s the boss here?” 

“You are Sir.” I look down at him,breathing heavy. Shane raises his eyebrows and winks. “That’s right.So when The Boss wants you to cum,you cum.” His other hand grips my ass,hard as he draws his words out. “Like.Right.Now.” With one last flick of his finger,I come fast and hard. My pussy pulsing around his dick.I cry out. 

Shane lets out a slow smile. “Oh I’m not done yet.” He says,I close my eyes and let his thick hard cock fuck me into oblivion. Shane promised all night long and he delivered just that. 

A/N:Yes that gif is from Gossip Girl XD hoped everyone liked it ;) A longer one is coming up soon!  

Tagging: @kravekitty  

Cassandra: The Inquisitor hears she’s craving blueberry sweet rolls, and they make a fresh batch. Cassandra, abashed and flattered, agrees to try one, and she stops short as she puts it in her mouth. It’s warm and sweet, and the taste of sweet blueberry hits her. They’re sticky and stain her fingers blue, but Cassandra doesn’t care. It takes great effort not to start moaning in ecstasy, it’s so good, tinged with bittersweet memories as she thinks of Antony. The Herald asks, hopefully, if she likes it. Cassandra, in turn, nods eagerly and takes another sweet roll. She’s tempted to take the whole plate. “You are the Maker’s chosen, indeed.” she declares. “It’s wonderful.If romanced: her love surprised her with the sweet rolls, and it makes her heart swell with adoration. She drags him off to a quiet grove, and the two eat the pastries and cuddle, her head on his shoulder. New memories together would be nice.

Blackwall: He thinks he’s about to get standard camp fare when the Inquisitor makes stew for the others. When he tastes it, though, he’s actually shocked by the exquisite taste. He stops short, spoon still in his mouth, and stares down at the bowl for a moment before wolfing it down. He’d ask for seconds, but the whole pot is already gone, finished by the others. He sighs in mild disappointment, then looks to the Inquisitor with so much joy, so much hope. “If we get the ingredients for you, could you cook for us in camp from now on? Please?” If romanced: he tries to help by doing whatever his girlfriend tells him to. The food comes out delicious, and she giggles and praises him. He laughs and shrugs sheepishly. “Oh, I was just following your orders, my lady. Only thing I had to offer is love.”

Iron Bull: The Inquisitor was showing Sera their cookie recipe when he asked to try one. More than half of the plate was gone already because Sera nabbed them, and she reluctantly allows the Bull to take one. The taste of melty, sweet warm chocolate and sugary sweet cookie dough actually makes him moan in ecstasy– he doesn’t hold back. “This… you made this, Boss? Wow.” The Inquisitor nods and goes to get another batch out of the oven, and Bull’s eye is full of hope and desire. “Boss? Can I have this batch to share with the Chargers? Please?” From then on, he always hovers around the kitchen whenever they cook, eager for a taste. If romanced: He’s not much of a cook, but he tries to help anyways. By “help” he means intermittedly coming into the kitchen, dipping a spoon into whatever they’re making, tasting it, and nodding. “Yep, Kadan, it’s good. Aren’t you glad I’m here to help you taste-test?” They kiss, and they get second-hand taste in doing so.

Sera: After tasting her cookies on the rooftop, the Inquisitor drags her to the kitchen to show her their cookie recipe. They giggle and toss flour at each other as they cook, and when the cookies come out, Sera hardly gives them a chance to cool before tasting one. Her eyes bulge at the flavor, and with a moan, and she immediately reaches for another. “Soooo good. And you! You made me not hate cookies anymore. These… these are friendship cookies, yeah? You’re the best cook ever.” Like Bull, she starts hanging around the kitchen whenever the Inquisitor is cooking. If romanced: Both of them are covered in flour and their faces are covered in melted chocolate, especially around the lips that kiss, and they’re giggling like maniacs. “These are us cookies, yeah?”

Varric: He mentions braised nug with elfroot, and how awful it was, and the Inquisitor is on a mission to make it appetizing. They soon present him with the dish, and he fully expects it to taste moldy and dry, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try it. To his shock, the meat is moist and melts in the mouth, and rosemary combined with a hint of dried elfroot just right, just tantalizing right. “Maybe I ought to change your nickname to Chef.” he says wryly.

Cole: He doesn’t eat, so instead he takes to distributing the Inquisitor’s baked goods to people in need throughout Skyhold. Spirits are raised immensely with the gesture, and soon thereafter the kitchen is asking for the Herald’s recipe after a bunch of requests for more. “it won’t be the same,” Cole says, “they put love into it as the main ingredient. They have to make it.”

Dorian: He was talking about a traditional Tevinter dish that he hasn’t had since he left home, mentioning how much he was craving it, but no one would make it. The Inquisitor then looks up the recipe and makes it themselves, and presents rice and curry to a surprised altus. He tries it, and he’s utterly floored, and so, so happy that he got to have it again– it tastes like home. “It’s even better than at home! Thank you!” he says, sincerely, as he reaches for more. He then pauses and reaches for a bottle of wine and looks up to the Inquisitor, grinning. “This goes down well with it. Dine with me?” If romanced: Dorian is breathless, imagining two things: being home, and being home and living in peace with his amatus as they eat the delicious food. So they settle for looking over Skyhold together, and he’s rarely been this happy before.

Solas: He makes an off-hand mention that he would like to get petit fours next time they go to Val Royeaux, and he’s actually surprised, for once, when the Inquisitor presents him a few hours later with a full plate of lemon and raspberry petit fours. He thanks them and reaches to try one, but he never expected it to be so good. Sweet, tart lemon filling and a sweet crumbly base melt in his mouth, and his eyes widen. “These are… delectable. Thank you…” He tries to surreptitiously be around the kitchens whenever the Inquisitor is done cooking, though he denies it. If romanced: “Vhenan, open your mouth.” She does it, and he gives her a half of a petit four he cut in half. She giggles as he tries to feed her, though he does it with closed eyes and misses her mouth and hits her nose instead, leaving cream on it. He’s mortified, but she thinks it’s hilarious.

Vivienne: She had asked to talk to the Inquisitor, and was surprised when they brought up a few of the petit fours they managed to spirit away from Solas, who took most of them. She sends for tea, and the two talk for awhile when she finally reaches for one of the petit fours. She was absolutely not expecting them to be so good, and she asks where the Herald bought them. When they reply that they made them, she’s even more surprised. “Truly? Well, my dear,” she says, eyes hopeful, “we’ll have to have tea time again sometime soon. With more of your petit fours.”

Cullen: One day, when he’s particularly stressed, the Inquisitor makes him simple shortbread cookies. He’s excited to see them, of course, and after eating one sweet, buttery cookie, the entire plate is gone within the hour. He finds them later and thanks them profusely– it really cheered him up, as well as complimenting them on their cooking skill. If the Inquisitor ever wants to give him a gift or anything, he only wants one thing: more shortbread cookies. He actually dreams about them on rare occasion, when not having a nightmare. If romanced: The next time they go to make butter cookies, Cullen comes to help, and together they make cookies that are even better than before. He forgets his worries for a while as he stirs batter and cuts the cookies, and the two sneak dabs of cookie dough and tease each other.

The Inquisitor sends her some petit fours from a batch they make, and Leliana has already heard from the others how good they are, so she’s eager for a taste. A rare smile blossoms on her face as she tries them, and she wants to savor them, enjoy them for as long as they last. She offers her compliments to the chef, and one day when the Herald mentions they’re in the mood to cook, she has an agent take care of whatever they were going to do to free up their time. “It seems as though you now have some free time. And the chef is out of the kitchen! Have fun.”

Josephine: When the Inquisitor is asking her about Antiva, she mentions a popular dish there– paella. After being unable to get fresh seafood to Skyhold, the Inquisitor settles for making a vegetarian paella. Josephine is eager to try it, and when she does, the spices and flavor takes her back home, if only for a moment. “Thank you so, so much,” she says, utterly floored as she leans back in the chair, thrown back by the flavor, “I just… it takes me back to the shores of Antiva City. Would you be willing to make this again, sometime?” If romanced: she carves out some time to go cook with them, and she giggles and chatters away happily as they cook together. A few times, she stops them just to give them a kiss, and then they go back to cooking, all blushes and spices.

anonymous asked:

Do you know any Clace fics with crime in them? Like maybe a Bonnie&Clide AU or something like that?

I couldn’t find any Bonnie & Clyde AUs, but I did find a few Clace fics involving crime!

Clary wakes up in a strange place with a splitting headache, no idea how she got there, and a Golden Boy telling her they, along with others, have been kidnapped. But there may be more to this place than she originally thought. AU. Some OOC. Clace. Malec. Sizzy. Jaia. Adult Content. Rated M for violence, language, rape and lemons. Bad summary, sorry.

Everyone has secrets. Some people have more than others and some secrets are deadlier than most. Jace happens upon the wrong secret when he meets young Poppy Fairchild. AU. (Just work with me here)

When Clary goes to bail her brother Jonathan out of jail, she finds herself in the middle of a jailbreak and wondering how a certain blonde ended up beside her, let alone saving her…at least twice - so far. I don’t own the Mortal Instruments series.

COMPLETE: All Mundane. Clary Morgenstern lives under the reign of her father who is also a crime boss. When a threat is made against the organization, Valentine moves Jace to be Clary’s personal security. Jace, while cocky and annoying, is the only one Clary doesn’t have to hold back the truth about the “family business” when she talks. M for violence and crime, some language

Crime is her specialty. He smoothes over girls. She’s a playgirl. He’s a playboy. So when she’s married off to him to maintain peace between the rivaling gangs, it’s not surprising when she doesn’t stop fooling around with boys. But will he ever be able to tame her heart? And her, his? Will they even try? CLACE.

Pirates are always trouble, especially in the 1600s. As Princess Clarissa Morgenstern of England travels to France with her friends, Lady Isabelle Lightwood and Lady Maia Roberts, they are ambushed by Magnus Bane’s crew - including Jace, Alec, Jordan, Simon - and captured. For the girls, love has always been far away, but will these boys change that? Clace, Malec, Sizzy, Jai

Clary is waiting in line in the bank. Suddenly three people gos in and rob the bank. The bank belongs to Clary’s father. But there’s a reason why they need the money so desperately. Will Clary just stay there and watch as her father’s bank is robbed or will she stop them? Or unexpectedly help them? Oneshot! AU

Jace finds Clary broken and bleeding, and after refusing to be taken to the hospital Jace decides to take her to his house. Clary needs help and only Jace will understand. ONESHOT/AU/AH. 

It had started great between them, and then things had just gotten worse…Clace. OneShot.

ONE-SHOT A/U I don’t own TMI, Cassandra Clare does. It’s a nice day in mundane Jace’s life. Or, at least, ordinary. Sorry, but that’s all I can say without giving away too much.