this never happens people

  • Me during Spiderman homecoming: I'm going to enjoy this movie and be a normal human being for the sake of the other people in this theatre !!
  • Peter Parker: *breathes*
  • Me: oH MY GOD !! DID YOU SEE THAT ???
8

Brave men, all of you. Butchered a woman pregnant with her babe. Cut the throat of a mother of five. Slaughtered your guests after inviting them into your home. But you didn’t slaughter every one of the Starks. No, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here, tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey.    d r a g o n s t o n e

Okay but I just imagine the Pevensies going to their respective schools after Prince Caspian, and it doesn’t take the other kids long to notice something is…off about them.
There’s something rough in the edges of Peter that the worst of the other boys keep getting cut on. Something powerful and confident. He was always likable, the shining golden child that the school trots out as a perfect example to incoming students, but now he is strong, he has emerged from the countryside a leader. He stands up to bullies, he always has, but he’s more eager to get into a fight these days than to talk them down. He’s a strong hand and quick word, but there’s power to back it up this time.
There’s something in the way Susan tilts her head that makes her seem like a woman. The way she carries herself high and tall, the proud line of her shoulders as she walks down the hall that makes some lable her to high and mighty for her own good. The world doesn’t know what to do with queens, and that’s what Susan seems to be these days.
There’s something dark lurking in Edmund that makes the other boys uneasy. Something wild and untamed in the now quiet boy. He no longer gets into fights, no longer bullies or mocks the others. In fact, he’s taken to stopping fights, to pushing back against his former friends when they try to take things to far. His roomate claims he wakes screaming from nightmares sometimes, and the stillness of his presence belies the intensity of his eyes.
There’s something burning in Lucy that wasn’t before. All the teachers comment on it. There’s something loud and cheerful in the girl who used to be quiet, and she makes friends even faster than before, pulled in by her captivating orbit. She spins fantastic tales, and is scolded for having her head in the clouds. She tells her tales of magical kingdoms as if she were really there, and gets sad sometimes, as if she misses the people who were never there.

Everyone agrees that something happened to the Pevensie children in the country, but they never talk about it. The adults eventually just chalk it up to the war, and almost forget about the strange children that populatetd their classrooms, until they read about the tragedy in the paper. Then they remember. And they never forget.
7

Plance draws ;///u///;;;
FFXV AU and Goblin AU

Everyone: *having fun with their OCs*

Me, continuing to latch on to one canon character after another: if you can’t make your own walking human disaster, store bought is fine

BMC YOUTUBER AU

LETS DO THIS


(I know there’s this amazing ask blog ( @ask-gaymermell ) and while this is separate from theirs (and I kinda came up with this idea before I knew about the blog) I still highly recommend that way more than these silly ideas.)


Rich:

•Starts out doing EXTREME stunts on vine of all places.

•They are freakin INSANE OK?

•Jake is the one who films it

•He does get pretty popular

•A little bit before Vine dies, Rich moves to YouTube and makes his videos more of showing him doing the set ups and showing what goes on for a stunt.

•They are still really reckless but that’s what everyone is there for.

•It’s soon coming up on the anniversary of him doing stunts for 3 maybe 4 years and he wants to do something EPIC

•Something that has NEVER been done before. And he hyped it up months in advance and his audience is mega hyped!!

•Until Rich suddenly disappeares

•For like three months, people thinking that he just… quit.

•Until Rich finally comes and uploads a video.

•It’s really vague, something happened with his stunt. Involving a fire. Him being in the hospital. And a friend getting hurt as well.

•Rich says that he can’t do stunts anymore, and that he doesn’t even know what to do anymore. YouTube was the way he made a living. But he doesn’t know what to do.

•"So… this might be goodbye. I’m sorry everyone.“

•There is a lot of people who felt bad for Rich and many who thought he was being a baby. This incident ended up becoming huge, news articles putting up stories, information being revealed.

•After 6 months, Rich appears again in a new channel. A vlogging channel of all things.

•Rich confesses that he had never truly showed himself to his audience before (for some reason…). And he had "edited” his lisp out of his videos. But he said that from then on, he was going to be honest and true.

•People were a bit salty about him still not doing stunts. But to Rich it didn’t matter, soon he admitted that he was having more fun doing this rather than stunts.

•Soon after a couple of months on the first day of June, he comes out as Bi. Telling a story that he had never thought of guys before and when he did he denied any sort of attraction. Until after the fire, when he decided to be true to himself.

•He does make an icon out of that, no longer being known as the “stunt guy” but the “bi boi” which made Rich laugh.

•Not soon after did Rich introduce his best friend (soon later to be boyfriend, but I’ll explain that later) Jake. Who had been shown in videos before but never introduced.

•But Rich always kept a jacket on. And wore makeup on his face.

•Many people would ask about what happened but Rich never wanted to talk about it. Many theories about it arose about it.

•Until on its anniversary, where Rich decided to tell how he was “convinced” to do this big fire stunt. Even though Jake and others had warned him.

•Rich then took off his jacket and his makeup to show his burns.

•In the middle of the video Jake had to come in and help Rich talk about what had happened.

•Jake had saved his life, but had broken both of his legs in the process. Jake still had to wear braces on his legs at the moment.

•But it was getting better. Rich and Jake were often considered the “power couple” of YouTube. Despite the fact that Jake didn’t have a channel. Or did he?


Jake:

•Loves music, so much. And puts his music on YouTube for fun.

•This is even before Rich had moved to YouTube or had even gotten big on Vine.

•He never shows his face, he makes his own art for the song and has it play in the background.

•He wasn’t popular at all. No one knew about his channel, not even Rich. But Jake rarely uploaded anyway. Only like one song ever couple of months.

•Jake wrote about being popular, about having fun, about summer, and about school.

•One day… he wrote about love.

•It was after the fire and Rich was in a full body cast. Him in a wheelchair. Rich had confessed everything to Jake. The Squip. The stunts. Everything.

•It only took a month for Jake to fall for him and write a song about it.

•and it EXPOLDED

•Which Jake didn’t even realize until Rich came in happier than he had been in weeks saying “Jakey D! You gotta check this out!”

•When Jake heard his own voice, he was shocked. He then checked later to see that it had over 1 million views.

•Jake started getting emails, asking to sign on. But Jake denied them all. Music was hobby, and Jake didn’t really want it to be more than that.

•But he continued to write music, but now. He wrote about his family. About being alone. About drugs. Each one getting more and more popular.

•And Jake honestly couldn’t believe it. Especially when his best friend / crush became his biggest fan.

•He never planned on telling anyone. But one day as Rich had one of his worst days in awhile. Jake wrote another song. For him.

•But instead of uploading it first. He came into Rich’s room with his guitar. And he sang.

•Rich originally thought it was just another one of his songs. Playing from his phone. But he didn’t recognize the song. So when he looked up at Jake, he was shocked.

•Jake sung about all the things he loved about Rich. How despite everything they went through he still loved him. Jake poured his heart and soul into it.

•when he was done, Rich kneeled on his bed grabbed him by the shirt into a big kiss. Didn’t really matter that the big guitar was in the way.

•Jake didn’t reveal himself as the mysterious artist for awhile. But the inside jokes that Jake and Rich had may have hinted at it.


Jeremy:

•Jeremy was told by Rich, who he had met in passing. Recognizing him on the spot. To get a Squip, and that’s how Rich could do all that crazy shit he did.

•Jeremy wanted to be cool like that. Have fans. Michael already had his own gaming channel, but Jeremy wanted to be better.

•The Squip had decided that Jeremy should ditch the gaming and do challenge videos instead. All the popular stuff. Even though Jeremy didn’t really care much for it.

•Soon Jeremy was starting to do more dangerous stuff. Talking about sensitive topics.

•Michael tried to talk to him, but Jeremy just said that he was jealous that he was getting more subs than him.

•The Squip is about to make him do something really crazy when Jeremy finds out what happened to Rich. So he gets Michael’s help and shuts down the Squip.

•Jeremy then makes an apology video about the sensitive stuff he said. And deletes his channel. Making anew as a Lets Player.

•And he and Michael start dating.


Michael:

•Michael had been doing Lets Plays for YEARS!!!

•He loves it a lot.

•But as Jeremy ignores him, his motivation for videos slip.

•When they have a fight where Jeremy just thinks Michael is jealous. Michael does have a panic attack and just can’t make videos because of it.

•Once it’s all resolved. Michael apologizes and promises to put more effort into his videos.

•Michael is also a big figure in the LGTB+ community (like Rich) having no shame in admitting since the very beginning.

•Once Jeremy and him start dating they start a collab channel that is them either playing games. Doing funny stuff. And vlogs.

•They are kinda of like the Dan and Phil of this universe.

•They have people guessing for months if they are dating or not.

•Till at Vidcon they are doing a panel and someone just yells at them to kiss.

•Which they do, to the surprise of MANY!

•"Man, I was having fun teasing everyone though.“

"Think of it this way, now you can kiss me anytime you want.”

“True that.”

AND THATS ALL I HAVE GOOD NIGHT

2

“Brave men, all of you. Butchered a woman pregnant with her babe. Cut the throat of a mother of five. Slaughtered your guests after inviting them into your home. But you didn’t slaughter every one of the Starks. No, that was your mistake. You should have ripped them all out, root and stem. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. When people ask you what happened here, tell them the North remembers. Tell them winter came for House Frey.”

  • historia: so i woke up this morning and ymir was shivering, so i put a blanket on her, and you know what she looked like?
  • sasha: like an angel??
  • historia: no, she looked like--
  • sasha: LIKE A DEVIL???
  • historia: no! she looked like a fucking bean
8

“Rapier Two.” Lieutenant Karé Kun sounded positively bored. “Everything’s green, Commander.”

“Rapier Three, and I have to agree with Rapier Two, Commander.” This was Iolo Arana, flying to Poe’s withdrawn starboard. “This is another waste of fuel and time.”

“Rapier Four. Standing by.”

“You see,” said Poe, “you should all follow Muran’s example, there. You hear how nicely Rapier Four reported in, without editorializing or anything?”

The sound of Karé’s yawning for effect came over Poe’s speakers. He grinned, despite himself. —‘Star Wars: Before The Awakening’ by Greg Rucka

Batfam as things my fam has done and/or said

There’s eleven of us in my family, so it gets pretty crazy.

Damian: *goes to pour himself some juice* *sees it’s all gone* *sees Jason has a full glass* *yells* THANKS FOR DRINKING ALL THE JUICE, JASON!

Jason: *yells back in an equally loud voice* YOU’RE WELCOME!

———————————–

*screaming followed a loud noise is heard upstairs followed by more screaming and some crying*

Guest: *looks up very concerned* Umm….are you going to see what happened?

Bruce: I have nine kids. It’s the silence that worries me. 

Guest: Oh……

Bruce: Noise means they’re not dead.

————————————

Jason: *keeps putting pieces of a napkin in Tim’s hair without Tim noticing* *laughs* *accidentally drops gum out of his mouth into Tim’s hair*

Tim: *feels the gum hit his head* What did you just do?

Jason: That depends. Do you want to be mad now or later?

Tim: Jason–

Jason: So now then.

—————–-———————

The Kids: *sitting around the table for dinner* *all screaming and fighting with each other*

Bruce: Only in death may I find peace.

—————————————–

Bruce: No more T.V. It’s late. Time for bed.

Dick: *goes to his room*

Dick: *10 minutes later* *gets out of his bed* *sneaks to Bruce’s room to watch T.V. from the doorway*

Bruce: *sees him* *in a loud, booming voice* WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Dick: *runs back to his room at lightning speed* *does a flying leap into his bed* *completely clears the bed* *lands in a plastic bin full of Legos* *screams*

——————————————–

Bruce: *drinks a cup of coffee*

Tim: Can I have some?

Bruce: No. You’re too young to drink coffee.

Tim: Am I too young to have lost my will to live?

Bruce: *pours Tim a cup* >————————————————

Tim: *builds a catapult with Bruce for a school project* 

Bruce: Let’s test it.

Tim: In the house? I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Bruce: It’ll be fine. *puts a paper hornet (if you don’t know what it is, it’s a very tightly wadded up piece of paper that, when launched with a rubber band from even just three feet away, feels like a hornet sting) in the catapult* *launches it*

*the paper hornet sails across the house and hits Jason in the face while he’s sleeping*

Jason: *wakes up immediately and already has a giant red welt on his face* *through tears* What the fuck?

Bruce: *hands the catapult back to Tim* It works.

—————————————————-

*family goes out to eat* 

Bruce: This is a fancy place, so act right.

Dick: Dad, this is Pizza Hut.

——————————————————

*at a restaurant*

Dick: *opens a straw and launches the wrapper at Jason*

Jason: *launches his at Tim*

Tim: *launches his at Damian*

Damian: *launches his accidentally at Bruce*

The Kids: *terrified silence*

Bruce: *stares them all down* *picks up the straw trash* Cut this shit out right now. You hear me?

The Kids: *nod their heads*

Bruce: Good. *launches his at Damian*

———————————————————-

*at McDonald’s drive thru*

Bruce: What does everyone want?

The Kids: *shout their orders from the back of the car in one loud, indecipherable sound*

Bruce: *to the speaker* Hello, I’ll have 10 burger Happy Meals.

The Kids: *start to complain*

Bruce: Shut the hell up or I’m keeping all your toys.

The Kids: *shut up*

———————————————————

Dick: *annoyed* Dad, why’d you have to have so many kids?

Bruce: Look at it this way: with so many siblings, you’ll always have best friends.

Damian: *comes inside holding a hand over half his face* Dad, Jason threw a golf ball at my face.

Dick: So much for best friends.>———————————————————-

Tim: *stands on a stool to hang something up* *falls off the stool* *stool and the thing he was trying to hang up fall on top of him*

Bruce: *yells from downstairs* What was that loud noise?

Tim: *tangled in the stool and trying to breathe again* *yells back* Something just fell.

Bruce: *yells again* Okay.

*10 minutes later*

Tim: Remember when I said “something fell?”

Bruce: Yeah…?

Tim: I was the “something.”

————————————————————-

Bruce: *drinks from a water bottle* *chokes* *spits out a fish* *yells* DAMIAN STOP PUTTING YOUR FISH IN MY WATER BOTTLES!THIS IS THE SECOND DAMN TIME!

Damian: But that’s a different fish.

Bruce: What happened to the other one?

Damian: You swallowed it. >———————————————————————–

Dick giving Jason a haircut: I’m just gonna shave the edges. You know, like a fade.

Jason: That’s fine. As long as you don’t shave my whole head, we’re good.

Dick: *messes up* *panics* *shaves Jason’s whole head*

Jason: *feels his head get mysteriously lighter*

Dick: Okay, well I’m done, and I gotta go. Enjoy the haircut.

Jason: Wait, how does it look?

Dick: Definitely faded.

Jason: *looks in the mirror* *sees that he’s now bald*

Dick: It was the razor, I swear.

Jason: I’M GONNA KILL YOU!

——————————————————————–

The Kids: *fighting with each other*

Bruce: Why. Why did I have to have kids.

Jason: Love you too, dad.

———————————————————————-

The Batfam: *gets invited to a birthday party*

Dick: *gets really hyped up on sugar*

Jason and Tim: *spin Dick around until he’s dizzy*

Dick: *runs into the bird fountain* *breaks it* *throws up in the pool*

Bruce: And that is why we don’t get invited to anything.

———————————————————————

Bruce: *has a coupon for free McDonald’s meals*

Cashier: Sir, this only covers two meals.

Bruce: I knew I shouldn’t have had so damn many of you.

———————————————————————–


 

Hope you enjoyed!

3

Peter: I’ve been ‘Puny Parker’ since first grade. I couldn’t fight back then, and I can’t now unless I want the other kids to know my secret. But luckily I have Gwen (whos super scary when she needs to be) and Harry (who has very threatening body guards) to back me up and help me out. And it’s not so bad, I get to put Flash in his place every once and a while but Aunt May always says he probably has it bad at home. So I just try to keep my distance and tape my glasses back together while I roll with the literal punches.

8

Boardwalk Empire meme
[1/5 Relationships] Team NY