this movie is so stupid and terrible

kingtrashraccoon  asked:

Share ten facts about yourself, then send this to your ten favourite followers (❁´◡`❁)*✲゚*

  • this morning I drove 5 minutes away from the house without glasses in a bathrobe just so I could make a stupid adult-responsibilities phone call because the reception here is SHIT RIGHT NOW, FOR SOME REASON
  • I’ll watch horror movies even if they’re terrible. bad horror movies are enjoyable on some level that ordinary bad movies aren’t.
  • at any given time I have 10-20 tabs open because I can’t fuckign finish what I start
  • I crashed the car through the garage wall once 👍
  • I’m extremely picky, but at the same time if you’ve got some bogus either/or dichotomy, you can bet your ass I’m picking both. men/women? both. brains/brawn? both. science/art? BOTH.
  • I can’t wear makeup because I will spend the entire time it’s on obsessively checking that it’s even/not smudged
  • I don’t know how my self worth got tied to my intelligence…and I don’t know how my intelligence got tied to my academic performance…but that’s a thing that happened
  • spectacularly unhelpful when you grew up in a school environment that fostered apathy and scorned any type of engagement/effort, so the only way to get good grades was to understand stuff intuitively and effortlessly. which I did. for a while.
  • I can only write choppy gap-filled notes for stories anymore, the ability to write from point a to point b in coherent paragraphs is gone. like even this list wasn’t written fully in order
  • I have…so many playlists

ur cute this was sweet of you ♥

That ADHD thing where
  • friend: *speaks*
  • me: *nods, sips iced lemonade*
  • my train of thought: would you look at this little ice cubes, they're melting, oh this reminds me so much of the Arctic and it's so sad, DAMN CLIMATE CHANGE, it's becoming too hot and the polar bears are gonna die, speaking of polar bears and hot, why the fuck would you take an animal that needs to live where it's fucking freezing to a goddamn zoo in the middle of a city, that shit is crazy, zoo animals are so mistreated, which by the way is an issue not completely overlooked but romanticized in the movie 'Madagascar', I can't believe their nerve, why u always fuckin' lying, zoos are terrible in reality, well at least they decided to free them and let them live their lives, but no, those animals are fucking stupid and WANT to go back, what kind of crap
  • friend: *still speaking, oblivious to the fact that my brain is far, far away*
  • me: (interrupting) WHY THE FUCK WOULD THE ANIMALS FROM 'MADAGASCAR' WANT TO GO BACK TO THE ZOO, LIKE, U GOT A GORGEOUS ISLAND TO EXPLORE, GO LIVE YO LIFE, LET'S BOICOT ZOOS, SAY NO TO ANIMAL EXPLOITATION, PROTECT POLAR BEARS, VEGAN POWER
Ninjago: Why Cole and Jay REALLY Started Fighting

(Sorry my camera has such terrible quality, like… I hate this so much XD X’D)

(I’ll be doing more requests soon, for now I kinda really want to animate this scene from Lab Rats X’D sorry sorry for inactivity!)

Little things the Hogwarts Houses do

Ravenclaw:
-drinks a lot of tea or coffee
- is either really messy or really neat
-like debating stuff but really hate getting interrupted, so they set a lot of rules and have debate clubs and stuff
-generally introverts
-really epic at board games
Hufflepuff:
-look up cute animals on the Internet and coo at least once a day
-really appreciates people
-excellent at giving advice
-dislikes horror movies and tense scenes
- are generally peaceful but if you hurt their friend they will fight you
Gryffindor:
-watch horror movies on a bet and then get a little freaked out
-always ready to argue about anything under the sun and will happily switch sides if everyone agrees with them just so they can argue
-is generally terrible at board games but will always be very dramatic about them
-is actually just very dramatic in general
-is ridiculously proud of stupid things like being a Gryffindor or having the most freckles
Slytherin:
-BEST COMEBACKS EVER
-not all cool people are Slytherins but all Slytherins are cool
-a Slytherin wrote that not me
-are weirdly good at sensing which one’s the murderer in mysteries
-will shock you with their knowledge of obscure subjects

I just remember how fond I was of Ponyo’s Dad, Fujimoto, from the Ponyo movie. I mean yeah he was the ‘antagonist’ of sorts, but he’s this doofy once human, now wizard who lives in the ocean with his many fish daughters and loves a giant sea goddess. Not to mention he looks like a sleep deprived mess of a wizard (My favorite kind) And just decided one day to 'fuck the land, I’m gonna go live in the sea. Just fuck land. Fucket.’ Not to mention his stupid crazy ginger hair all over the place and the thing with wearing pinstripe suits in terrible colors, I just love him so much, permit to get passionate for a brief moment:

 

Imagine him getting mad at sailors who say 'Ahh….the sea is a harsh cruel mistress, but she’s my mistress…’

'Uh excuse you-The Sea is my WIFE and I will THANK YOU not to TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT’

 

'I DONT WANT HER TO BECOME HUMAN, I LOVE HER SO MUCH, GRANMAMARE.’

'Babe, we’ve got dozens of fish daughters, what about them?’

'I LOVE THEM TOO BUT I LOVE PONYO THE MOST. I DON’T WANNA SHARE’

'BABE YOU GOTTA SHARE’

'NO!’

 

'Your husband is a mess.’

'yeah but he’s my mess. and I love my hot mess. Looket him doing sciencey things with the fish.’

*Fujimoto falling off a boat screaming*

'Precious.’

 

Imagine him visiting begrudgingly for Ponyo’s birthdays. He just sits grumpily in a kiddy pool. Grown ass man. Sitting in a kiddy pool. In a suit and tie.

 

Granmamare just petting him like a cat.

'this is my husband. He is smoll and floofy. I must take good care of him. Sometimes he forgets to eat stuff and to sleep. He floofy and fragile and sometimes he stands on rocks and yells at seagulls to stop pooping in the sea. I love him.’

 

'Why did you decided to live in the Ocean, Fujimoto? I meant besides the fact to be closer to your giant sea wife.’

'I can avoid taxes easier this way.’ (I now believe that all the Ghilbi Wizards are notorious Tax Dodgers, please see Howl’s Moving Castle, he literally lives in 3 diffrent towns at the same time)

 

'Humans are disgusting’

'Fujimoto, you were human once.’

'I know, and It was gross, I hated it.’

 

'How many daughters do you have’

’ I DONT KNOW. GIANT SEA GODDESSES DONT NESSARILY REPRODUCE LIKE PEOPLE DO, I AM CONSTANTLY SURROUNDED BY TINY MES.’

’….Is that a bad thi-’

'Shut up, I love it, don’t talk to me or my 1,290 daughters ever again

Michael After Midnight: Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

This is it. This movie is… an experience. A trip. It is everything you could ever hope to see from a terrible Christmas special and more. This right here deserves the title of “The Room of animated Christmas movies” far more than that turd The Christmas Tree does. For one, this movie isn’t really painfully bad so much as it is entertaingly bad; yeah, there’s plenty of stupidity, but… well, what can you expect from an animated special based off of an awful novelty Christmas song?

The plot summary is right there in the title, but there is a bit more: after Grandma gets run over, the nefarious yet incredibly hot Cousin Mel decides to use Grandma’s disappearance to her advantage by tricking Grandpa to sign over the rights to Grandma’s store so she can sell it to Liquid Snake (yes, that is Clam Carke voicing him) for millions. This leads Jake Spankenheimer, the unfortunately named hero of the story, to go off to find his Grandma at the North Pole, where Santa reveals she has amnesia. They bring her back, but this leads to Cousin Mel trying to sue Santa. Can Santa be saved, or is Grandpa gonna sue his pants off and take him for a ride?

Keep reading

you know what
talking about horrible book adaptations, people usually only mention percy jackson, eragon and the golden compass
which are all indeed terrible in their own right
but you know which utterly amazing book got an horridly shitty adaptation
ella enchanted
a wonderful, insightful, witty story, with a well built and complex world, a natural and likeable romance subplot, and most importantly one of my favorite female heroines of all time
got a movie so disastrous it honestly only had like 10% to do with the book at all, it rewrote half of it, got rid of all the charm and complex world and character building stuff, all the actual deep and painful subjects, and made it into this frankly stupid parade of cliches that is painfully shallow in comparison to the source material

ella enchanted deserves a better adaptation 2k16
ella enchanted honestly deserves any kind of recognition 2k16

you know everyone hates this about me besides my Best Girl Junita but like literally what is the fun of watching a movie you’ve seen before, in your own home, with all your friends, if you aren’t going to be your own shitty version of rifftrax?????? literally half the enjoyment is yelling at the tv and making stupid jokes. my ex used to yell at ppl for singing along or talking during movies at sleepovers and whatever and also he was terrible and so if u dont like it. well i dont really care or think less of you we just won’t particularly enjoy a movie together. 

List of reasons why the secret life of pets is great

-varying body types in pets

-varying personalities between diffrent anilmals besides just “the hero! the token black friend! the one who is definatly gay but we never say that in the movie!“

-so cute!!!

-leaves a love story in there, uses it in the actual movie, but doesn’t make it the main focus

-genuinlly made me cry

-not a lot comedy that was slapstick and stupid like “farts and butts!“, but left some of it for the kiddies

-litterally so fucking adorable

-katie was a huge sweet heart

-showed genuine character development throughout the movie with all the characters

-charters all had obvious flaws and weren’t made to be either perfect good guy or awful terrible bad guy

-gidget was super girly but still a fucking bad ass

-SO

-DAMN

-CUTE

-listen that sweet old grandpa and duke made me sob in the middle of a movie theater surrounded by 5 year olds

-fantastic animation!!! sticks to the style, but still great and ctue!

-that hawk was so sweet and cute !!! i cant remember his name atm but he was great

-pops was damn hilatious and sweet

-shows why you shouldn’t abandon your damn pets you asshole

-shows why you should neuter or spay your cat goddamn

-sO FUCKING CUTE SERIOUSLY I VERABALLy AWWED MULTIPLE TIMES

-duke was the purest being i love him

-so was max

-but mostly duke

-lots of relatable characters!

-took a great idea for what could have been a short and made it a full length movie

-fantastic movie

-go watch it right now if you haven’t

-please

blackcur-rants  asked:

Re: "Swan Princess: A Royal Family Tale", what was it exactly about Scully the Scullion that made him bad enough to count as a "Sin"? Also, just how big does a problem in a Musical have to be in order to be made a "Sin"?

He babbles on incessantly, he tells terrible jokes, his nickname is the result of thinly-veiled cultural insensitivity (he rattles off his real name to Odette, and rather than trying to figure out how to pronounce it she says “I’m just calling you Scully” and he takes it like a compliment) and they never do explain how he knows the truth about Odette when nobody else does.

A sin is not so much a question of size, but how I react to it and how I think it affects the movie as a whole.  A single really, really stupid line can be called a sin if it pisses me off enough.  It’s not a fair system, but I never pretended that it was.

anonymous asked:

Why is Thor's hair short in this new movie? The long locks were a nice part of his design. And the two ladies on the magazine cover have terrible costumes. Lady Sif had a good costume, but these two don't.

I have no idea. It looks freaking awful. I knew Thor Ragnarok was going to be stupid but I didn’t think they’d be so incompetent that they’d get rid of Thor’s signature look. I’m seeing people even fail to recognize that’s Chris Hemsworth! He looks like Max in Mad Max: Fury Road and that’s not how Thor is supposed to look.

youtube

(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omD3m-xwBWk)

I love this movie so much, and especially this scene. I find it really beautiful. Turpin is an awful character but Alan is just wonderful.

I love when the camera is looking down at his face while he’s singing. His eyes are SO expressive, and like Casey, Alan has a really beautiful and sensual mouth–also very expressive. Ugh, I appreciate this scene, and Alan Rickman, so much. I mean he is iconic for being Snape but seriously I never think of Snape ONCE when I watch this movie which I think is a great testament to Alan’s acting talents that you could know him in such an iconic role, but then completely forget it exists in the next, because he’s just that good. (I’m not sure if that makes sense or not but I don’t know how else to explain it.)

Anyway.

I have to go to work when I’d rather stay home and watch this.

I’m putting Alan Rickman and Casey Biggs in my doghouse for being too handsome though. There’s a reason I made a silly headcanon that Alan is Damar’s “Uncle Alon”.

Couldn’t you just see it? I don’t know, I can.

The Damar guys have strong features, intense eyes, and beautiful mouths. Just saying they have some great genes going on.

Damn you Disney

You don’t have the nerve to show Tangled before the movie premiere?

No. Of course you don’t. Frozen is overused and Elsa’s a stupid and selfish bitch and a terrible role model for children as ANNA is the only character I like in the whole film!

And as for the parents they can go to hell. Rapunzel’s parents are so much better.

At least you’re forgiven by playing the Toy Story films you bastards.
2

Seriously though, help me!

This movie is even worse than Batman Forever! I know everyone else has said this, and I know this “film” has acquired an unbelievable amount of hate over the years, but it’s earned it. It has earned every single one of the negative reviews it’s received because it’s so rottenly bad that it’s not even funny.

The acting is terrible, the special effects look unfinished, the story is stupid, there’s no chemistry, no pacing, no atmosphere, and the setting is just ludicrous. I can’t believe how bad they could treat Batman and the Dark Knight mythology, but this is a new low. I guess the only good thing to come out of this is that we can’t sink lower than this…right?

And now, if you excuse me, I need an aspirin. And a hug. I haven’t been so sad in quite some time.

Featuring: Pirate Dash as Mr. Freeze (Batman: Arkham City) and Pun Pony as Mr. Freeze (Batman: The Animated Series).

2

So my only real exposure to Cloud is from watching his terrible CG movie in high school, but my sisters and I loved watching a movie that was essentially Super Smash Bros. with a cast of perfume commercial rejects.


Incidentally, these still look like bad perfume ads to me.

Tumblr when Disney releases a new movie
  • Before the movie: *sees promo material* OMG they're doing the same-face thing again! They're shitty representations of women/POC! This is gonna be a terrible movie, Disney needs to learn! *insert more stupidity here*
  • After the movie is released: OMG the movie was so diverse! They covered mental illness/had a diverse cast/covered bullying/covered grief/wrote a well-rounded woman! I really hope people see this movie!!! *insert more sudden praise here*

RandL Watching Shitty Movies: a thing brought to you by today’s episode.

So imagine Rhett and Link are sitting on the couch late at night watching really terrible movies together. The later it gets the giddier they become, practically yelling a running commentary over all the ridiculous shit that’s happening and imitating every terrible one liner. Link keeps laughing that crazy high pitched laugh over mouthfuls of cereal at Rhett’s stupid jokes until Rhett’s face aches with the strain of smiling but he feels like he might as well be floating. 

But eventually, inevitably, things begin to quiet down. They aren’t kids anymore, and weariness is starting to win the battle over them. Rhett is still managing to hang on though, still hoping to make it through the final half hour of the current movie. When one of the secondary characters suffers the most absolutely laughable death Rhett has ever seen, he looks over to appreciate Link’s reaction only to find that Link’s head has drooped to the side and his mouth is hanging open. Rhett sighs. Instantly he feels his determination to stay awake dissolve now that his best friend has fallen asleep, so he allows himself to relax his eyelids a bit and slouch slightly deeper into the cushions. 

Rhett is barely conscious when he feels a thud and a lingering weight on his shoulder. It takes him several groggy seconds to realize it’s Link’s head, and when he does Rhett’s suddenly wide awake. “Link,” he hisses, using his shoulder to give Link’s head a small shove. It just flops uselessly back down into its former position, so Rhett does it a little more loudly and forcefully the second time. Finally Link stirs, managing an oblivious “mmm?” But then he only snuggles up closer, nestling his head into the crook of Rhett’s neck. When Rhett tries Link’s name a third time, he can’t believe how small his own voice sounds.

Rhett doesn’t even notice when the movie ends, only at some point later becomes cognizant of the obnoxious, looping blare of the menu sequence. He sits still in the near darkness, helpless, transfixed by the way the light from the TV and the occasional passing car flit across the contours of Link’s sleeping face. Rhett’s almost glad this doesn’t happen more often because he’s sure his heart couldn’t take it. It would be far too easy to reach over now and brush aside the the messy, dark strands hanging into Link’s eyes. To press a sneaky kiss to the top of his head. To just scoop Link up and pull him on top of him like he’s always wanted to. But all Rhett does is shift his hand just so that the side of it rests against Link’s thigh, inconspicuous enough to be an accident, and he holds it there. 

When Link finally does wake up, the first hints of morning light have permeated the room, and Rhett pretends to be asleep.