this movie is so depressing and so lovely at the same time

Dear Self,

I know how you’ve been feeling today. Your life feels empty, and the sad truth is that you have nobody to blame for anything that’s happened . Unlike most people, you haven’t blamed yourself, because you know that you have done everything in your capacity to make things work, to make things happen. I know how ambitious you are, and you do everything you need to do to make your parents proud, to make them happy again. You have no one to share your pain with. Mainly since your pain isn’t because of some tragic accident or loss of life, neither is it because of a sappy breakup or a nasty flu.

But you can feel your true self breaking down a little bit more with every passing day. There’s so much you want to do and so much you want to achieve and you know that you have it in you, yet it’s always a dead end.

You look back in time and see a different version of yourself, someone you can’t recognize now. You have no idea how to define yourself any more. You were a social maniac and have always found yourself the most comfortable among people, lots and lots of people, friends, foes, family, strangers and you managed to plant a seed of memory into everyone you’ve ever met.

Now you’re uncomfortable to be around people, you repel even making a healthy eye contact with someone passing by. I know you aren’t scared or tense to interact with them - to ask how they’re doing, but you’ve lost the urge to make bonds anymore.

You’ve met all kinds of people, seen through each one of them but you’ve realized that no matter how well you know and understand them, you walk right into a boulder beyond which you cannot see, beyond which you know there’s a spot where all their weaknesses lie, and you peek between the brick walls and recoil back - you have seen the ugly side.

This side of them is nasty and no matter what is said or done following it, you’ve lost your trust, you just can’t go back to square one all over again. You know you can never be the same with them again. And as you walk away from them, you know they’ve taken off a small chunk out of you. These chunks total up to the whole of you and you lose yourself running away from them. You cannot risk losing anymore. So you walk alone, and everyday you die a little more.

You now focus on the few people you trust and you’d do anything for them. I know very well how greatly you suck at expressing your love towards these people, somehow you feel that if you reveal it to them you’ll lose the love you have for them, they’re eager and hope to hear it from you. Your family wants to hear you say that you love them. But you just cannot, because you’ve never learned how to. You’ve never told anyone confidently the way they show it movies, to confess love. You love them too much, it’s scary to say it out loud. But you show it in ways nobody ever does.

You have your own weird ways, only if they could listen. Only if they could listen when you scream at them and cry out of guilt the very next moment, when you swear at them now and internally curse yourself next, when you ignore them because you do not want to say you’re sorry, when you plan big to see them happy, when you struggle to smile even as you’re dying inside only so that they don’t sense your sadness.

You are scared to express that you are vulnerable and you are scared to admit that you are scared. You prefer to be an emotionless robot to them, because you’ll never be able to prove how much you really care. They distance themselves from you naturally, and again, you die a little bit inside.

But you know you’re amazing at being a lioness when you want to, your wounds make you stronger and that’s how you like seeing yourself - a lioness on the hunt. And you walk with all your pride as you walk by the people that you’d rather have by your side, again you die a little inside, yet you walk alone with all your pride.


Loads of Love,
Self.

- J.E.M
Good Things that Happened in 2016

·         New chemotherapy breakthroughs have increased the 5-year survival for pancreatic cancer from 16% to 27% (and is getting better)

·         Scientists figured out how to link robotic limbs with the part of the brain that deals with intent to move so people don’t have to think about how they will move the limb, it can just happen.

·         Child mortality is down everywhere and it keeps going down.

·         Thanks to the ice bucket challenge the gene responsible for ALS has been found, meaning we are closer to an effective treatment. Let me rephrase that: we are close to getting a treatment for a very bad disease because a lot of people (including really hot celebrities) got wet.

·         A solar powered plan circumnavigated the world.

·         Michael Jordan donates 2mil to try and help bridge connection between police and the community.

·         Tiger numbers are growing.

·         And manatees.

·         And pandas.

·         Pakistan has made strides toward outlawing honor killings.

·         70,000 Muslim clerics declared a fatwa against ISIS.

·         Pokemon Go players went insane with placing lure modules near hospitals for sick kids.

·         California is now powering over 6 million homes with solar power, a record in the US (and that is the tightest shit)

·         Volunteers in India planted 50 million trees in 24 hours.

·         Apparently world crime as a whole has drastically declined as a whole in the last couple of decades.

·         Coffee consumption has been proved to help curtail cancer and suicide rates.

·         Speaking of coffee Starbucks figured out how to donate perishable food in a food safe way.

·         500 elephants were relocated to a better, safer and bigger home.

·         We made massive strides in Alzheimers’ prevention (my grandmother literally told me that scares her more than getting cancer this is very good news)

·         The ozone layer is repairing itself and all the work we did to get rid of those aerosol chemicals was actually worth it.

·         A new therapy developed in Israel could cure radiation sickness.

·         The Anglican church resolved to solemnize same-sex unions the same as opposite-sex unions which required a super majority of all three orders of the church (lay, clergy, bishop).

·         The Rabbinical Assembly issued a resolution affirming the rights of transgender and non-conforming individuals.

·         Precision treatments for cancer are hitting clinical trials and WORKING (as someone who’s had relatives with cancer this is the best news)

·         Dentists are once again providing free care to veterans who need it.

·         The Orlando Shakespeare Festival showed up with angel wings to block funeral-goers for the Orlando Pulse victims, view from anti-gay protesters

·         Rise Women’s Legal Centre opened

·         Death by heart disease has decreased by 70% in the United States

·         Two brothers saw color for the first time thanks to specially-designed glasses

• Portugal ran its entire nation solely on renewable energy for four days straight

·         A retiree is launching a project to transport 80 endangered rhinos to an Australian reservation to save the animals from poaching

·         An Afghan teacher has been delivering books via bicycle to villages that lack schools

·         Harriet Tubman is going to replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.

·         200 strangers attended the funeral of a homeless WW2 veteran with no family

·         A teen battling cancer married his sweetheart

·         Bank firm pays for college tuition for the children of employees who died in the 9/11 attacks

·         New medicine has been shown to increase melanoma survival rate to 40%

·         Over 800 Boko Harem Hostages were rescued by Nigerian Army

·         Toys R Us is Offering Quiet Shopping Hour for kids with autism this holiday season

·         Volunteers made special tiny Halloween costumes for NICU babies

·         A 4-year old befriends a lonely man and helped him heal after losing his wife

·         Families grew

·         People survived c ancer

·         People overcame depression

·         Any kind of victory, even if it affects only one person,  is a victory

·         Now for the pop culture good news

·         LEONARDO DICAPRIO WON AN OSCAR! EVERYONE READING THIS LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO SEE LEO FINALLY GET WHAT HE DESERVED

·         There’s a new Harry Potter book

·         And a movie

·         Harry Potter has no plans on vanishing with time

·         This sweet father gave candy to passengers on a flight so his little girl could trick or treat on Halloween

·         LET ME TALK ABOUT ALL THE KICK ASS MOVIES WE GOT THIS YEAR OH MY GOD

·         Kung Fu Panda 3, this franchise is still going strong despite that its about a panda played by Jack Black

·         Jungle Book. The amazing remake none of us saw coming

·         Finding Dory. I haven’t seen it yet but I’ve heard good things

·         Kubo and the Two Strings. Haven’t seen that yet as well but its Laika so I know it’s a masterpiece

·         Deadpool. The beautiful and super accurate R-rated marvel film

·         Captain America: Civil War. Seriously is the best marvel movie yet in my opinion I need more.

·         Zootopia. Oh don’t mind me I’m just a movie that tackled the issue of racism and not only game changed animated films but also made a billion dollars

·         The Hamilton Mixtape is coming out. Which is a bunch of artists singing songs from the musical (Sia, Usher, Regina Spketor, etc.) I’m excited.

·         A personal victory for myself, I joined Tumblr and met angels in blog form so…that’s uplifting.

·         And I met my favorite voice actor at a con which was a bucket list accomplishment.

Good Things that have yet to happen this year

·         Birthdays

·        Thanksgiving

·         Black Friday

·         Moana

·         Christmas

Good things that have nothing to do with the year but will hopefully make you feel better

·         Puppies

·         Chocolate

·         Rainbows

·         Rain (I like listening to rain it’s one of the most calming sounds)

·         Cartoons

·         Kissing

·         Music

·         Friends

·         FF: If you are a religious person you are an imperfect masterpiece

·         FF: If you are not then you are a splendid coincidence

·         Any year spent with loved ones be they family or friends is a good year. Trust me.

·         ”A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have” –Roger Rabbit

#NeverForgetTheGood


*Plz feel free to add other good news (even if it’s something small like you ate cheesecake THAT is good news)

*at the end of the year I plan to remake this list with new things, fixed mistakes and links but will be posting from my side blog @iamrainbow

I have some opinions/thoughts that I’d really love to get off my chest even if other people think I’m completely wrong.

Gaston did not deserve to die, Gaston was hardly a bad person, Gaston was basically forced into being the villian of this story.

[I’m referring to the 2017 remake of BATB rather than the original animation.]

Let’s point out some difference between the 1991 Gaston and 2017 Gaston
-2017 Gaston was not a misogynist
-did not abuse Lefou
-even verbally
-Like for fucksakes, the friendship between Lefou and Gaston was so genuine. I’m frequently seeing these things around Gafou is an abusive ship, buts it’s really not? He tells Lefou ‘thank you’ says ‘you’re the best Lefou’ sincerely asks ‘how has no woman snatched you up?’, messes around with Lefou like buds (wrestling bite marks, picking him up to demonstrate strength, gets on the table and dances with him), let’s Lefou calm him down and boop his nose, and not once does he insult or hurt even when it seemed like he would (after Lefou wrapped his arms around him, or when he couldn’t spell his name, when he said ‘who needs her when you’ve got us’, etc). They’re sincerely good, close friends, but don’t worry I’m not ignoring all the shitty things Gaston did to Lefou I will get to that in a second.
-I said he’s not a misogynist, right? Cause that’s important. Big step away from the OG.
-Doesn’t insult Belle for reading
-Instead he feigns interest in the book because he knows it’s her interest
-even brings her flowers, whataguy
-Has manners (“excuse me, please let me through” going through the crowd, didn’t push everyone out of his way)
-Goes to her rescue when the town’s people are being mean (sure this is because he wanted to be the hero to seduce her, but seriously he was one of the few people who didn’t harass or bully Belle for being different)
-Doesn’t call Maurice crazy and instead offers his help to soothe the men (again, seduction, but seriously he’s still being polite and helping the underdog unlike the OG)

I’ll probably think of more things to add to this Gaston-wasnt-an-asshole list but I think this basically gets the point across that, well, Gaston wasn’t an asshole. He was immensely vain, yes, but that doesn’t mean he was a bad person.
Cus ya know who else started out incredibly vain but still managed to be the fucking prince in this story?
Yep, the Beast/Adam of course.

Time to do some comparing of the prince and the villian because spoiler alert, they basically parallel each other.

I’ll begin this part with Belle’s comment of, “No one can change THAT much, Gaston”
Ahem

LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP ARE YOU SERIOUS
This line pissed me off immensely, because that’s literally Adam’s entire character arc, changing himself completely, literally and figuratively.

Like I’m sorry you wanna do a repeat of the song “Something there” aka the song where the lyrics are basically “he was an asshole brute who I hated but now he’s c h a n g e d”
Literally so pissed off at that all.

But as I was saying, Gaston basically mirrors Adam’s arc, meaning to say they’re practically the same character things going on but sorta reversed.

Like okay
-Upon first meeting Belle, the Beast locks her father then her in a tower and is a huge dick but then they bond over books and he gives her flowers and he’s nice to her.
-Upon first interacting with Belle, Gaston is nice to her, gives her flowers, tries to bond over books, but then he’s a huge dick and locks her father and then her in a cart.

Do you see what I did there? Literally the same actions, but backwards.

Let’s do some more comparing.
-They both have terrible, terrible tempers.
But you know what? The Beasts is definitely a lot worse than Gaston’s.

Let’s review how both Gaston and Adam dealt with Belle’s dinner rejection
-Beast: literally motherfucking demands she has dinner with him, bangs his paws on the door, scrEAMS at her, and then announces she can starve if she won’t eat with him
-Gaston: [not direct quotes, can’t remember exact words but basically what he says] “oh, busy?” nope “okay, then some other time?” boom that’s that. Yeah he still is persistent on winning her over even after this rejection but the man handled it a lot better then Adam (and he brought flowers for her dinner table).

I’m about to move on from Adam and start talking about how Gaston treated Lefou in a sec, but I would just really really really like to put some emphasis on the fact that both Adam and Gaston were incredibly narcissistic men. The amount of self pride and conceded they have is in the beginning is completely parallel and it leads to both of their unfortunate fates. The point in this, is Gaston is not a bad guy just because he loves himself a bit much, just as the Beast was not a bad guy for loving himself too much. Like, the way Adam turns down Agatha for being ugly seems exactly like something Gaston would do, so why does the movie end with Gaston dying while the Beast learns his lesson and gets his happily ever after?
Because, the OG Gaston was truly an asshole who deserved to die and this 2017 remake of course had to stay true to the story. Even though this Gaston really wasn’t a true villian and didn’t deserve to die – rather he deserves a redemption arc just as Adam was given – he died anyway because that’s how the story goes.

Anyway, I’ll get on with this and bring back Lefou.

Some of you have probably been reading this while thinking “But Marley [das my name], Gaston was a shitty person, he wasn’t a good friend to Lefou at all because he manipulated him, let him get punched in the face, didn’t protect him at all, and threatened to lock him up. Plus, he was only into Belle because she’s pretty.”

Alright alright alright: Lefou.
He’s an exceedingly important character as he gives us insight to Gaston’s character.
Two crucial things he reveals about Gaston … .

-Gaston has anger issues. My father has anger issues, and so do I, and we both are on meds for it. Let me say, having anger management problems and getting angry are very different things. It’s just like he having anxiety and getting nervous are very different things. I think most of you can probably relate or understand anxiety more then anger issues, so just put yourself in Gaston’s shoes with that in mind. Anyway, back to Lefou. He shows us that Gaston has anger issues when he rushes to Gaston’s aid by saying “deep breathes” and then “think about the war”. He tells us that Gaston has coping mechanisms for when he gets like this. Does it matter if Gaston has anger problems? Does it make him less of a dick? Like, seriously Marley, does this information really make up for any of the things he did? Yes, yes it does matter. It’s like when you/someone your love is having an anxiety attack, or when you fall into a depressive episode, or when a loved one acts out of PTSD [which Gaston could totally completely have], or when someone with schizophrenia or delusions starts having episodes, it’s basically exactly like whenever anyone’s mental illness starts to act up. You don’t feel like yourself and you don’t so things you would normally​ do. This is definitely the case for Gaston; he acts out of character when he gets angry like this. And that’s my second point that Lefou proves in this movie.

-Gaston is not being himself when he starts doing all that terrible shit that leads him to his demise. Lefou makes it fairly obvious that that is not how Gaston usually acts. He does this in numerous ways which I will quickly try to summarize and go through:
1) Questions Gaston. Obviously if Gaston often tied up old men to trees or in general left people to die, Lefou would have just went with it instead of going “are you sure?”
2) doesn’t immediately lie to save Gaston’s ass. Again, if Gaston frequently had Lefou lie for him, then it would have came to Lefou like second nature and he wouldn’t have hesitated.
3) Once more, questioning Gaston. The scene I’m about to refer to is when Gaston locks Belle and her father in the carriage. Lefou grabs Gaston’s arm and goes to question him again, but before he can Gaston threatens to lock him up as well. Dick move on Gastons end, no? But this isn’t something he would normally do or say to Lefou, for if it was Lefou wouldn’t have bothered speaking up because he would have known what Gaston’s reaction would be. Instead, Lefou is used to being able to talk sense into Gaston and reason with him (refer back to nose boop scene).
4) Running to Gaston’s side for protection during the fight [castle scene]. Lefou is probably used to having Gaston protect him during fights (war time) and obviously didn’t expect Gaston to throw him to the enemy. Like, yous guys heard him shriek Gaston’s name before the piano fell on him, right? He was obviously expecting Gaston to rescue him. Even after he’s trapped under the piano, he still reaches and calls out for Gaston. The way Gaston is acting is not the Gaston he knows.
5?) “I was on Gaston’s side, but we are so in a bad place right now” [however he says it you know the line I’m referring to]. Aight I think this is the one line that really captures the point I’m trying to make. Lefou has switched sides because Gaston is being a major douchebag and Lefou’s not having it. Lefou doesn’t put up with being treated like shit [MrsPotts saying he deserves better and Lefou agreeing]. So o b v i o u s l y Lefou is not used to Gaston being so cruel and angry. If Gaston treated Lefou like this all the time, then Lefou wouldn’t be by his side [because he left his side once he started acting like this]. Lefou knows how he should be treated, and how he’s being treated is not what he’s used to.
You dig what I’m saying? I’m kinda rushing through these points because I’m getting tired of this.

*deep breathe* Alright, last point, as I mentioned above, ‘Gaston only wanted Belle because she was beautiful’ Alright alright alright I’m not even going to talk about the Gaston in this point, I’m just going to talk about the huge flaw that is Beauty and the Beast.

Adam is turned into the Beast because he needs to learn to not judge people by how they look, he needs to learn that it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
Right.
So why is Belle the one that learns this lesson?
Adam falls in love with a gorgeous girl, meanwhile Belle falls in love with a hideous monster who turns into a nice dude on the inside.
Belle is the character who learned to not judge a book by its cover [cover being a monsterous beast but inside he is a gorgeous prince].
As soon as Belle walked into the castle, all the furniture was like “yooooo she could be the one, master hit her up” and instantly Adam’s like “well I need a girl to fall in love with to break my curse and she cute yeah let’s do it”. Like of course there’s more to our then this, but what I’m trying to say is Adam had already planned to try to charm Belle before he knew what kind of person he was because he was desperate to break the curse.
So he and everyone in the castle just saw her and was like “she was a girl, he was a boy, can I make it anymore obvious?”
So anyway anyway anyway, Gaston was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and he wanted a wife, but Beast was only interested in Belle because she was beautiful and could break the spell. See the parallels again? Like, Beast later fell in love with Belle for who she was and she made him a better person, Gaston could have totally done the same thing.
And okay, there’s no proof Beast cared that Belle was beautiful or not, but yo, Disney definitely should have made Belle ugly af so when Adam met her the snob in him would have been “ew she’s ugly, next” and then Lumiere and Mrs. Potts woulda been like “boi Imma whoop yo ass if you don’t give that girl a try, I don’t care how fucked up her teeth are smfh” and then Adam would have learned the lesson that the enchantress was trying to school him about in the first place [this applies to the 1991 animated film, not directly at the 2017 btw]

Well I was trying to keep this professional and moreso eloquently written but you can tell I’m coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine gotta gotta be down because I want it all

Okay okay okay
Okay okay
Okay

I believe we’re nearing the end. I believe I’ve said all I needed to say made all the points I could [honestly definitely not because I’m constantly thinking about this and arguing with no one in my head, I have a lot to say and later I’ll be making toast and be like “anD ONE MORE THING”]

I’m very upset Gaston died because he wasn’t a terrible enough character to deserve death.

So Dear Disney, either make Gaston more of a shitty person, or bring him back to life. I’ll be waiting for an apology letter until this is done.

Of course I’m kidding.

I just have such a love and passion for Gaston and I’m truly sick of hearing people tell me that Gafou is an abusive ship and Gaston is a villian.

And if you refuse to see that Gaston wasn’t a bad guy but still believe that Adam is such a prince than you’re insanely hypocritical.

People just see what they want to see.

Also I’m terribly sorry for making this so diddly damn long, I honestly have no idea how to do the cutoff “Show more” thing, I’m on mobile. So sorry if you’re trying to rapidly scroll past all of this and it’s taking forever.

But honestly fuck you don’t scroll past my argument.

And also if you legit read all this then motherfucking congratulations to you. Like I don’t even want to read all of this shit to edit it.

Thanks for the attention. Marley OUTT

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

hannahtheladybug  asked:

Hi! I love your blog soooooooo much! I was wondering if you know any good fluffy slow burns? Thanks!

WOW! Thanks for all these requests! I looove slow burn fics, they give me life! Let me know if you think I missed some!

Originally posted by shiruba-tsuki


Slow Burn


Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches by Reiya, Explicit, 197k
A single event changes the course of Yuuri’s life, throwing him into a bitter rivalry with Viktor Nikiforov that spans across his entire skating career. But as the years go on, rivalry and hatred begin to develop into something very different and Yuuri doesn’t seem to be able to stay away, no matter how hard he tries. Hatred and love are two sides of the same coin and even though everything changes, some things are still meant to be. Oh, man, do these boys not communicate their feelings! Seriously one of the best fics I have ever read in ANY fandom. Love this fic so much.

starstruck by shizuoh, Teen, 58k
(in which yuuri is a simple barista, viktor is a famous movie star, and yuri is an 8 year old kid stuck in the middle of it.) SO good!

What Fades On The Ice by KasumiChou, Gen, 54k
Yuuri Katsuki was a living legend in the skating world. A living legend that depended on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety tablets to survive. Viktor Nikiforov was a young ‘up-and-coming’ skater who was determined to convince his idol to coach him after an extremely bad result at his last competition.How will Yuuri survive the hurricane that is Viktor Nikiforov? Very angsty!

Bear Your Soul on the Ice by SassySalchow (diedraechin), Mature, 118k (WIP)
At age fourteen, Katsuki Yuuri had been determined to be Japan’s next great figure skating hope, but with no coach that would never happen, so his ballet instructor packs him up off to Russia to train with Yakov Feltsman. The Yakov Feltsman, otherwise known as the coach to rising figure skating star – and Yuuri’s idol – Viktor Nikiforov. AMAZING!

You Can’t Plan for Everything by RivDeV, Explicit, 138k (WIP)
Yuuri forgets that he has a scheduled heat coming up until it’s just a couple weeks away. He scrambles to get everything ready in time, including deciding whether he’ll spend it alone or with someone. Victor only wants to help. A/B/O rec’d to me by my followers!

Tantalus, Reaching by chellethewriter, Teen, 
A retelling of the series that chronicles how a five-time Grand Prix champion might attempt to woo a somewhat oblivious Japanese figure skater.

Nerve Endings by Phyona, Explicit, 51k (WIP)
When Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg, they have to work through Yuuri’s anxiety and Victor’s secrets to find their balance. LOVE!

rekindling by fan_nerd, Mature, 9.1k
Victor stands on Yuuri’s doorstep in the pouring rain with a bouquet of flowers. It’s the middle of the night. The tall man is out of breath, soaking wet, and his eyes are red. Yuuri sighs, letting his ex-boyfriend in like the sympathetic fool that Victor knows he is. “What are you doing here?” He hurries to catch his breath and reply, but his mouth is dry. Victor doesn’t exactly have an answer to that question. I love this so much??? Amazing fic!

not gold like in your dreams by ebenroot, Teen, 49k (WIP)
In which Victor and Yuuri are roommates and Yuuri has a secret. WOW!

matched by bigspoonnoya, Explicit, 52k
Viktor Nikiforov considers himself an excellent matchmaker, but there’s one love life he can’t seem to get right: his own. AMAZIN

and I feel life (for the very first time) by smudgesofink, Teen, 10k
In which Victor helps Yuuri with his skating, but Yuuri helps Victor find himself again.

cover story by fan_nerd, Explicit, 8.2k
Yuuri stares down at the person standing in the doorway. The stranger hisses, “Who do you think you are, anyways?” Quickly, before he can really think about it, Yuuri responds, “I’m Victor’s boyfriend.” It’s a lie, but the words feel good in his mouth, and for some reason, he doesn’t want to take them back. Such a good one shot!

Dancing Daffodils by grayclouds, Mature, 51k (WIP)
“As Love gently wipes away the tears that trail down his cheeks something within Victor quakes, its tremors resonating throughout his entire being like a deafening echo. He is in the arms of a god.” BIG THUMBS UP!

offer me) that Deathless Death by melonbug, Teen, 19k (WIP) **Major character death
It was the curse he and his family were fated to: Death would come for him the moment he turned eighteen, and he could only hope the flimsy wards passed down through the generations would protect him. But Death always won eventually, Death would snatch him up as he had all of his ancestors.But somehow he wasn’t what Yuuri had expected. He was a constant presence in his life, barely there. A vigilant spectator to his burgeoning skating career, a gray haired man with a soft expression who found him again and again, waiting for him to let his guard down, but becoming something more, over time.

Beside the Dancing Sea by lily_winterwood, MapleTreeway Explicit, 186k
New York Times-bestselling author Viktor Nikiforov arrives in the sleepy seaside town of Torvill Cove to cure his writer’s block. After encountering local wallflower Yuuri Katsuki at a party, he discovers that this mysterious dark-haired man has a couple secrets up his sleeve. And Viktor will be damned if he doesn’t find out just what those secrets are. LOVE this fic!

Until You Return to Me by BatMads, Teen, 113k
Yuuri and Victor are in St. Petersburg together at last, but when Yuuri has difficulty adjusting to the transition and tragedy strikes, it seems as though they may be separated forever. Now they struggle to find their way back to each other when the universe seems to conspire against a happy ending. So angsty omgomg

Everything on Fire by SakanatoAi, Teen, 28k (WIP)
In an alternate universe where the physical closeness between two soulmates is measured by body temperature, Yuuri Katsuki and Victor Nikiforov have spent their entire lives chasing after fleeting moments of warmth. As they grow older, their actions begin to draw them towards each other in a blind search for their anonymous soulmate, and the eventual release from the relentless cold which will be granted by their union.

The Boyfriend Experience by cryingoverspilledvodka, Explicit, 119k (WIP)
Katsuki Yuuri is an accomplished escort at 23, operating under the pseudonym Eros, in Detroit. When one of his favourite clients sets him up with none other than world-renowned figure skater Victor Nikiforov, the delicate balance between Yuuri’s personal and professional life teeters ever closer towards ruin. Such a great fic!

Like a Fairytale by lucycamui, Teen, 63k (WIP)
In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his ‘Cinderella’ Yuuri. VERY cute!

November’s Secret by LanaBerry, Mature, 23k (WIP)
Overwhelmed with anxiety and his fear of failing, Yuuri faces the issue of if he should continue skating. His best friend, Yuko, proposes a solution - if no one knows it’s you, then it’s less embarrassing, right? Yuuri begins to create a completely new disguise and persona.But it works a little too well.Before he knows it, Yuuri has become the biggest mystery of the skating world and everyone wants to know who he is. Especially Viktor Nikiforov, the idol he’s been loosely basing his new persona on for years. Ahh I love this!

how the mighty fall (in love) by braveten, Teen, 28k
Every Victor Nikiforov fan has three things in common.
1. They have unrealistic expectations for romance.
2. They mark their calendars with the dates of his newest book releases and the premieres of his latest movie adaptations.
3. They either passionately hate or love his greatest rival, a mysterious author whose pseudonym is only two letters: “KY.” Lots of mutual pining!

Aria: Stammi Vicino, Non Te Ne Andare by exile_wrath, Teen, 34k (WIP)
The tale of Yuuri Katsuki, who never ages and never dies and has lived frozen in time for centuries, and his attempts to keep his adopted son from killing the new guest. Such an amazing immortal AU!

pas de deux by intertwingular, Gen, 24k (WIP)
in which yuuri, premier dansuer and four time usa international ballet competition gold medalist, ends up teaching yurio ballet, and viktor is just the slightest bit smitten. Very sweet!

fire on ice by indianchai, Teen, 15k (WIP)
Everyone in the world had some sort of affinity with one of the four elements; the proper term was elemental affinity– whether they were best suited with fire, water, earth, or air.All figure skaters were water users. Never in the history of the sport was there professional ice skater that didn’t have water as their elemental affinity. Katsuki Yuri had a well-guarded secret that he can’t have anyone find out about.

Get Out.

Originally posted by tess453

Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Yes

Summary: Deciding to stay in for a date, Peter and the Reader are faced with annoying and embarrassing comments from the whole team, who are unaware of their relationship.

Word Count: 2,428

Warnings: language, fluff, annoying avengers (??), embarrassed!Peter, embarrassed!Reader, cuteness, LOTR trilogy. (Let me know if I missed any)

A/N: Alright homies, I apologize it has taken me so long to upload something. I’ve been reaally stressed. So hopefully this is okay? For the anon that requested this, I hope you like it. I’d love some feedback, as always. Enjoy reading!


Dark, gray clouds blocked any source of light from shining through the big, thick glass windows surrounding every inch of the building.

The entire tower was filled with a solemn mood that spread into every corner and room.

Most of the team dreaded days like these, since it put a damper on their mood, (especially Steve).

You, however, cherished days like these the most.

It’s where you find your peace and inner self, no matter how depressing that may sound.

It helps you relax and release any stresses that corrupt your thoughts.

But the best reason of all is that you don’t have to leave the house, even if you had a date with Peter tonight.

However, thinking that idea through, you realized something.

The whole team would be here.

With Peter and you.

During your date.

Well, fuck.

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My favorite anime movies

This is a list I always wanted to share, so if you haven’t watched those please go and don’t lose time time reading this. You will come and thank me later lol

Hotarubi no mori e

Originally posted by animeonjapan

“It is sad not to love, but it is much sadder not to be able to love.”


Once in life you  find a form of media that is able to touch your heart in more ways, It’s abe to make you laugh, cry out loud, get angry, make you feel happy: This was anime for me. And hotarubi no mori just remembered me why anime has such an important part in my life. Hotarubi is the kind of gem that no matter how time passes you just can’t forget it. In just 40 minutes it leaves such a bing impact in your life. This is literlly one of the biggest masterpiece anime has made so far, so please go and watch this gem

Synopsis

Intrigued by the tale of a mountain god, six-year-old Hotaru Takegawa loses her way in the ancient forest while visiting her uncle. Exhausted and desperate for help, Hotaru is thrilled to find a masked forest spirit named Gin. She learns the hard way that she should not touch the boy, or he would disappear. In spite of this, Gin leads Hotaru out of the forest and warns her never to return when she promises to come again with a gift.

Paying no heed to his cautionary words, and despite being separated by both distance and planes of existence, Hotaru and Gin become close friends as she visits him every summer. However, their relationship and resolve are put to the test, when romantic feelings conflict with the one and only rule.

Based on Yuki Midorikawa’s manga of the same name,

Hotarubi no Mori e

is a tale of friendship and compromise of two people who should never have crossed paths, as their lives become hopelessly intertwined.

Whatch this anime if you’re looking for:

  • Stunning soundtrack
  • Amazing character devolpment
  • Love is pure and this anime will prove it to you
  • Simple yet touching story, Simple is best
  • Watch it you love youkai and you like MIdorikawa yukis works
  • Fluffy and cute gags
  • Start it and stay for the fees

Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo

Originally posted by mirayama

I literally discovered this anime by mistake and it was the most beatiful mistake I’ve ever made. It make me laugh, it made me cry, it broke my heart. This is one of the most simple yet beatiful anime I’ve ever seen. It just plays with the cruelty of how impotent we are and how we should cherish any moment, since time is precious buddy.

Synopsis

Makoto Konno is in her last year of high school, but is having a hard time deciding what to do with her future. In between enduring the pressure of her teachers and killing time with her best friends, Makoto’s life suddenly changes when she accidentally discovers that she is capable of literally leaping through time.

Toki wo Kakeru Shoujo

follows Makoto as she plays around with her newfound power. However, she soon learns the hard way that every choice has a consequence, and time is a lot more complicated than it may seem.

Whatch this anime if you’re looking for:

 Amazing leads

Great and imprevidible story

Beatiful soundtrack

Amazing charachters

Hilarious comedy

Fantastic character devolpment

Whatch it for one of the best and most memorable anime couple


Hal

Originally posted by nataku-s

Hal is one of those anime who people skip thinking that is the same superficial love drama. Or maybe they don’t even know it’s existence since it’s so underarted. And once they finish it they understand how wrong they were. This anime broke and yet healed me in so many ways.

Synopsis

Kurumi is a beautiful young woman whose beloved boyfriend,

Hal

, died in a sudden airplane accident. Left heartbroken and gloomy, she isolates herself in a small house. But this soon comes to change when her grandfather requests the help of a humanoid robot named Q01.

Taking on the appearance of Hal, Q01 is sent to Kurumi’s house in order to save her from her state of despair. As Hal returns day after day and increases his efforts, Kurumi, despite her initial reluctance, slowly begins to open up to him and break free from her depression. But there is more to Hal than meets the eye, and these two will soon learn an unexpected truth about this relationship between a human and an android.

[Written by MAL Rewrite]

Whatch this anime if you’re looking for:

  • The lovely io sakisaka art properly animated I disliked aoharuride animation
  • Some real dramma
  • The feels
  • Amazing characters
  • Lovely soundtrack

                  

Kokoro ga Sakebitagatterunda.         

Originally posted by kwmikos

As a HUGE  fan of Anohana and toradora  there’s no need to say hoe thrilled I was when This anime movie was annunced. Having Masayoshi takana and okada mari working together once again gave me big expetations. No need to say it was worth waiting.

Okada’s character once again made me love them with all my heart. Jun is literally once of the most human characters I’ve seen in anime and I love it so much. I could relate so much to her “being to talktive problem”. Her problem is so real that actually hearts. Loved it.

Synopsis

Jun is a girl whose words have been sealed away. She was once a very happy girl, but because of a certain thing she said when she was very young, her family was torn apart. One day, the egg fairy appeared in front of her and sealed away her ability to talk in order to stop her from hurting anybody else. Since this traumatic experience, Jun lives in the shadows away from the limelight. But, one day, she is nominated to become an executive member of the “community outreach council.” On top of that, Jun is also appointed to play the main lead in their musical…

(Source: Official website)

Whatch this anime if you’re looking for:

  • Great characters
  • Real life problems and issues
  • AMAZING ART. Masayoshi lives up to his name after all
  • Great soundtrack and inserted songs
  • Breathtaking animation by  A-1 Pictures my fave studio yass

Originally posted by iyashikei


Hotaru no Haka 

No need to say I’m not going to trust anymore any anime with fireflies on the title

Originally posted by caravelasemfreio

This has to be the most heartbreaking and cruel anime I’ve ever seen and yet only a few seems to know it’s existence.  Probably one of the best masterpiece made by ghibli.

This anime movie is so pure in many ways and all the praise il could recieve would be never sufficient to show how beatiful it is. It’s the proof that a masterpiece survives time. Even after 29 years this movie is out it sill remains a gem among anime.

Whatch this anime if you’re looking for:

  •   A great psychological drama impact, very well developed
  • The best sibiling love
  •   Real catastrophes, the provoked damages, the victims and the ruined lives of the remained people
  • Human nature, or rather how the society works, are painted beautifully

anonymous asked:

I need some tips on getting through high school and also how to get good grades when you're depressed and just don't care about anything anymore.

Hi Anon,

Here are some awesome ways to beat school blues:

College needs:

Food

Helpful sites:

High school needs:

Mental health resources:

Misc resources:

Motivation:

Music/Sound:

School resources:

Stress relief:

Studying/school help:

English/History:

Foreign Languages:

Geography:

Math/Science:

Study Needs:

TIPS:

  1. Remember that today’s day in age is different from how it was back then. So don’t stress about school too much.High school students today have the anxiety of what a mental patient in the insane asylum had in the 50s. Here’s also a thing to show how times have changed.
  2. Prioritize. List what needs to get done first and when. Sometimes getting the bigger/harder tasks is easier than conquering the smaller/easier tasks.
  3. Set times when certain projects need to be done and stick to that deadline.
  4. Turn your phone off or give it to your parents while doing work/studying. I know that we live in the age of technology and literally everything is at the touch of our fingertips. Honestly though you can wait on what your favorite celebrity has to say or if your crush liked your instagram photo. You’ll be more involved in that than you are into your work.
  5. If you have trouble in a certain subject and there is no assigned seating, take advantage of the front. I guarantee you’ll learn more.
  6. Ask your teacher what exactly you’ll need to know. If you’re taking notes during the year, write in the margins whether or not it will be tested. It will be easier to know what you will be tested on.
  7. Save your exams. Half the time your teachers use the same questions (or questions similar) from your exams on your midterms or finals.
  8. Don’t try to do homework straight afterschool if you can’t, despite what everyone says. Give yourself an hour, and try to get some exercise in. I find it stops me getting bored of sitting down. Not to mention helps me concentrate better.
  9. Don’t just read the material, write it, draw it, recite it, quiz yourself on it! Until you have the material down.
  10. Join clubs, sports, or organizations! You’re guaranteed to find friends in there. You’ll already have common interests. Start with that and go with the flow.
  11. College kids: If you don’t have assigned seating, and you have been sitting in the same seat for 2 weeks. That is you assigned seat now. Don’t move or you’ll screw everyone up and they will hate you.
  12. Color code things, such as your notes. If you want to see how I color code my notes message me and I’ll be happy to show you
  13. Be kind to one another.

I hope that helps!

Best,

Lena

the ‘no longer human’ (2010) that you probably haven’t seen (and nakahara chuuya’s significant role in dazai osamu’s life)

You read that right. ‘Ningen shikkaku’, or as we know it, ‘No Longer Human’ had a movie that came out on 2010, directed by Genjiro Arato and starring Toma Ikuta as Oba Yozo (and to a lesser extent, Dazai Osamu). 

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Do you remember our first day together, our first touch, the first time you told me you love me, the first time you held my face in your hands and kiss me? Or how about that day you decided “I would like her to be with me for the rest of my life. I think she’s the one,” or that fateful day when you ask for my hand? Do you still remember any of it? Because I do. I still do. And those memories burned longer and brighter on my heart, those memories are engraved on me, memories that I know you also have. So why did you do this to me? Why did you cheat on me and leave me after all the moments we’ve shared? Why?

I thought this kind of problems only happen in movies, or in novels I read. It’s not supposed to happen in my life. I mean it’s you after all. The half of my life, the one I trusted the most, the one I loved the most. But it did happen. The first time I caught you cheating, I forgave you. It hurts so much, but I still keep on forgiving you. My trust with you are irreparably broken, and could you blame me? But I still choose to forgive you. I choose to forgive you because I love you. Why can’t you do the same for me?
—  cynthia go // Why?
Dear Anti Tony Stark Community,

yes, in am well aware that Tony Stark is fictional, as do I understand why it may be difficult to understand a character you may not be able to relate to. However, I don’t think many of you realize the message you’re sending to fellow Marvel fans, and people and general with mental illnesses. By not supporting and validating his manifestations of mental illness, you harm an already taboo and shunned community of people who’s symptoms, like Tony’s, can be destructive and scary.  I 100% empathize with Team Cap. Bucky has been through unimaginable pain and deserves to be protected and supported, as do most of the others. Bucky is seen as a martyr. His pain, his suffering, his mental illness is “pure” and “beautiful”. He is on a pedestal. His issues are handled in an idealized fashion.  As someone who is has symptoms in both categories, I’m not saying Bucky isn’t valid, he very much is, HOWEVER, don’t you dare tell me that Tony Stark is not valid in his pain as well. All of the demonized traits and actions of the man you hate so much stem directly from his own issues. From the beginning of his life, he was a victim of verbal, emotional, and (if the comics are being followed in MCU) physical.  That alone fucks shit up in a person.  Over the course of his life, he’s been taken advantage of by “friends” and romantic partners, betrayed by his only father figure (Obadiah) and best friend (Rhodey in IM2), degraded and demonized by the media and press, kidnapped by terrorists, tortured repeatedly (as a civilian, nonetheless), suffered (misplaced) guilt and over illegal weapons dealing he had no part in and dedicates his life to making right, had a near death experience with the arc reactor, experienced severe PTSD after flying a nuke into a wormhole to save the world, had his mind manipulated by Wanda to take advantage of his love for his teammates and need to protect the world, been physically and mentally abused by said teammates/friends (Natasha in IM2, after he trusts her, Thor in AoU, Team Cap in CW), found out his parents were murdered after having it kept from him by a trusted friend, left by the woman he loves, and other more minor things as well (feel free to add to that list yourself).  

Tony Stark’s mental illness is different than the rest of the MCU characters because it is not beautiful.  He is depressed, paranoid, traumatized, and isolated.  I’m not saying he is guiltless, far from it.  He made bad choices.  He has been selfish, ignorant, volatile, confrontational, defensive, and irresponsible.  But that doesn’t discount his suffering.  Drawing on my own experiences and research, he has classic PTSD and anxiety (panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares, paranoia), severe symptoms of depression (isolation, self deprecation, alcohol abuse, suicidal tendencies, guilt, hopelessness), and a possible bipolar or personality disorder (manic energy/hyperactivity, impulsiveness, restlessness, anger).  His creation of Ultron (and other post-Afghanistan behavior) was, in my opinion, the culmination of severe, UNTREATED mental illness and trauma.  There is no evidence in any canon of him receiving counseling, medication or support for his issues, nor are they treated with the consideration, care, or sympathy of the others.  Instead, he becomes the villain.  

The point I’m trying to make is that alienating and abusing those with destructive manifestations of mental illness is not only wrong, it’s harmful to the individual, as well as society.  Mental illness is not pretty or easily sympathized with.  It can be screaming and anger and pushing loved ones away.  It can be recklessness and mania and skewed judgement and ugly breakdowns.  Tony and Bucky are different, but in many ways the same.  The only reason that one is adored and the other hated, is the stigma surrounding an honest portrayal of mental illness.  When you call Tony Stark a villain, a selfish bastard and an irresponsible, egotist, all you’re doing is telling the world that you only support those with depression, PTSD, anxiety and other disorders if they fit into a glorified mold of what mental illness is.  What validates one character demonizes another.  When you say those things, you hurt people like me who love Tony because we see ourselves in him.  He’s not unattainable or better than us.  He is relatable.  He is me.  It feels amazing to see someone we admire so much in a flawed way that makes us feel valid and represented in a positive way, not as the villain, but as the hero for once.  Whether you agree with me or not is up to you, but please, PLEASE, at least think about what you’re saying next time you post.  It could be more hurtful than you know.  Remember, pain is relative, and there is no one size fits all for mental illness.  Support people in pain, even if it’s not easy.


( @itstonystarkbitch back me up, fam)

Masterlist

*Special thanks to @thing-you-do-with-that-thing for making me this beautiful header!*

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Victor Nikiforov Appreciation Post!!!

I just want to take a moment and talk about how much I love Victor Nikiforov and how he’s just such a refreshing character. I know everyone and their dog has done a post like this already but I’ve been crying over this lovable goof for months and this had been sitting in my drafts for too long now anyway and also I’m avoiding my textbooks AND THIS SORTA TURNED INTO A CHARACTER ANALYSIS I’M SORRY.

So as far back as the PV, there were assumptions flying around that Victor would end up being an antagonist of some sort. That either he was using Yuuri for his own gain, or was just straight up evil. Laughable now, of course, but the reason those rumors were prevalent was because we see it so often. How easy was it to think that Victor was “helping” Yuuri only to further his own goals in the end? We’ve seen this common mentor-betrays-student trope before and it’s no wonder that early on fans were afraid of this even as the show progressed. And honestly? This would have made for some great drama—for Victor to turn out to not be such a nice guy and for him to eventually become someone Yuuri had to defeat in competition. However the show did not go down that route at all. It turns out that yeah, Victor is actually just a really nice guy who cares a great deal about Yuuri and the people around him. He doesn’t show up in Hasetsu with any evil ulterior motives—he just wants to get to know Yuuri and help him take his skating to the next level, and maybe find inspiration (and love) along the way.

Also how could a man with a heart-shaped smile be evil???

(Continued under the cut.)

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The first time is serious business - Older!Damian Wayne x Reader

#10. Making love for the first time. Only slightly NSFW, mostly fluffy. And not great…Thank for the compliment by the way :), hope you’ll like it :

THERE’S SOME SORT OF PART TWO HERE : Titus likes you…too much

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

_______________________________________________________________________

The first time he saw you, he was barely ten years old. You were in the same class than him in Gotham Academy, and he noticed you right away because your uniform was old and had clearly been used before. He guessed pretty fast that you were one of those kids from poor families that his father gave a scholarship to, which meant, you were a smart one. 

“Smart”, didn’t even do justice to your intelligence. He never met anyone (that wasn’t his father or brothers) like you, you were extra-brainy, sometimes he even thought you were almost as astute as him…But not only, you were also full of wit and quick responses, and so damn brave. You were a short one, and yet, when he saw you get bullied by sixteen years old, he didn’t even had time to react and come help you that you already shot your foot to one of the guy’s crotch mercilessly. And then kicked his face. The two others bullies were so stunned, they just ran away. They ran away from a short ten year old girl…You were amazing. 

He pleaded to his father so that you wouldn’t get fired from school for kicking that guy’s ass, and Bruce was so impressed with you, and how his son defended you, that he pressured the school into keeping you. 

-I know it’s thanks to you I’m still here, so…yeah, thank you dude. 

-I didn’t do anything. 

-Lier. I know who your dad is. I know it’s thanks to him I have the opportunity to be in the best school of Gotham. And I know he convinced the school’s board not to fire me. My guts are telling me you’re the one responsible for your father’s intervention. So…Thanks. 

And that’s how you became friend with him. You quickly guessed he was the night vigilante “Robin”, and it wasn’t really a big deal. Maybe it was your child’s brain telling you that a hero, with all the costume wearing a people saving, such as him was just wicked cool, that you thought it really wasn’t a big deal On the contrary, you thought Damian was like, the coolest guy you ever met. After Batman and Nightwing of course. He made it his life goal to show you he was better than them…and it made you slowly fall for him as the years went by, and as you grew up together. 

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What is Self-Care and Why is it Important?

Self-care is addressing the needs of your body, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual. Because we are all built differently, self-care isn’t going to look the same for all of us. For some, self-care is gathering the strength to get out of bed and take a shower while for others it’s finding 15 minutes in their busy day to sit alone outside. There is no RIGHT way to self-care only YOUR way. So it’s essential that you listen to your body and allow it to lead you towards what you need in order to care for yourself.

As stated above, there are 4 areas of yourself that require acts of self-care to stay in balance and working properly. Though they are separated, they are also very much connected. Ignoring one area has the potential to negatively affect the others so it’s important to scan through all aspects of yourself and not disregard any. Below is a further explanation of each area and examples of how to self-care.

  • Physical - The physical refers to the physical body and out of all 4 areas it’s probably the easiest to spot when it’s out of sorts. It’s also the area society puts the most focus on. Sickness, pain, exhaustion, fatigue, soreness, and just an overall sense of feeling like crap are some indicators that you need some self-care in the physical area. Some examples of self-care are adding healthier foods into your diet or making sure you are getting enough of each of the essential vitamins and minerals, doing some kind of physical activity (even just taking a walk outside), adjusting your sleep cycle so that you are getting enough GOOD sleep, taking a warm bath to soothe tired and achy muscles, and most importantly RESTING! Your body is sacred and when you treat it as such the world becomes a lot less formidable.
  • Mental - Sadly, mental health is still struggling to get out of the shadow of physical health. Theres so much stigma on mental health that a lot of times this area goes untouched which can cause the other areas to fall apart regardless of how much self-care you throw at them. So let me stress with bold italics to make it clear: MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS PHYSICAL HEALTH!!! Okay one more time just in case anyone missed it. MENTAL HEALTH IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS PHYSICAL HEALTH!!! Whew, glad we got that out of the way now we can continue. Mental and physical health are equals in regards to our overall health especially because they are strongly linked. It’s been my own experience that when one is off the other is soon to follow, but thankfully it also works in the opposite direction. Improving one will also help improve the other. So a lot of the examples of self-care listed for physical can also apply to mental. Though that doesn’t work for everyone or it will only get you part of the way. It’s important to understand that we all have our own individual struggles with mental health, with some being more severe than others especially when you take into account our home lives, our environments, our experiences, and of course our access to healthcare. So this area especially is going to have many different forms of self-care and like I said before, there is no right way just your way. Some examples for mental self-care are seeing a professional, taking your medication as instructed, finding healthy coping mechanisms, being kind and patient with yourself, meditation, rewarding yourself for even the littlest of achievements, and allowing yourself to have bad days without punishing yourself.
  • Emotional - So some might think that the emotional should tie into mental and though it is true that emotional and mental have an EXTREMELY close link, emotional can operate outside of the influence of mental allowing it to be its own area. Other than mental and physical, the emotional aspect is deeply connected to our life experiences and our interactions with people. So in a lot of cases when our emotions are in a state of chaos it’s an indicator we haven’t properly dealt with a painful experience. Or we are currently experiencing a traumatic event or relationship. When your emotions are running rampant the most crucial and mandatory act of self-care is to LISTEN! It may seem like the emotional is just being a cruel bitch, but it’s actually trying to tell you something important. Its sounding an alarm, trying to bring your focus to an area that desperately needs your attention. It’s like when your body sends pain signals to your brain when you have a wound or a broken bone. It’s telling you that there’s parts of your body that needs healing. The same goes for your emotions. They are telling you that there’s issues that you haven’t yet healed from or even dealt with. So absolutely part of your emotional self-care should be allowing yourself to heal from whatever it is that’s caused you trauma, pain, and distress. Other examples of self-care for the emotional aspect are journaling, confiding in someone you trust, allowing yourself to cry, treating yourself to what comforts you, finding or creating a place you feel safe and relaxed in, movie marathons or netflix binge watching, and being very gentle and loving with yourself. Oh and it’s also important to note that for some of us it’s natural to get emotional flare ups, especially for those of us who menstruate. In those cases, it’s still imperative to listen to your emotions (and body) which are most likely telling you to rest and take it easy! Seriously, one of the best acts of self-care for any (and really all) areas is to allow yourself time to really rest.
  • Spiritual - It’s my personal opinion that this is the hardest area to gain access to yet it also has the greatest ability to positively affect not only the other areas, but your own relationship with self-care itself. I have to say feeding my spiritual area was a game changer for me. It’s the reason I made self-care a vital part of my life and it’s the reason I’m here typing up this post. Its allowed me to start healing from my abusive relationship (emotional), its helped me learn to cope with and control my anxiety and depression (mental), and its aided me with treating my body like the sacred temple it is (physical). Now i’m not saying that all your problems will be fixed by putting all your efforts and focus into the spiritual, I just think when you make taking care of yourself part of your religion or practice, you are much more likely to see it as a priority. So ways to self-care the spiritual are being outside and soaking in nature, going to a place of worship, earthing, sitting outside during the full moon, going to the beach, meditation, sit with a deity or some kind of higher power, enjoy some silence, and spend time in sacred space (create sacred space if you don’t already have one).

I also want to stress that self-care should be a part of your everyday life not just when one of the areas goes into chaos. Getting into the habit of checking in with yourself routinely and practicing self-care daily makes it much less likely that you will even reach the point of complete chaos or at the very least you will find stability a lot quicker. Though in order to truly make a habit of practicing self-care the key concept that you absolutely need to accept and embrace is that YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! Repeat it. Say it right now! Say I AM WORTH IT! You are 100% worth dedicating time and energy to yourself! You are 100% deserving of love, patience, rewards, and kindness from yourself! You are 100% entitled to all the self-care and self-love you need. You are worth it, my friends. You are so worth it. Now go give yourself some much deserved love and care!

~Jessie

anonymous asked:

RFA and saeran reacting to MC grieving the death of a relative ? Sorry it's so depressing ....I love your writing, please take care of yourself. 💖

~Thank you, bby!! You are so kind! <3


Yoosung

  • His heart was aching when he saw you upset
  • He can relate, after the whole thing with Rika
  • After you heard the news he just held you and let you cry as long as you needed
  • He encouraged you to talk about your feelings with him
  • He tried to cheer you up with kisses
    • “Do you wanna look at old photos? Sometimes that helped me…”
  • He cooked you a nice dinner
  • And you sat together and looked through photographs and he asked a lot about your relative
  • He was happy to see you smiling a bit as you talked
  • The next day he asked you to come to the clinic
  • And he brought you to the back and let you hold a bunch of puppies and kittens
  • It’s hard not to smile and feel happy when you’re holding baby animals
    • “It’s okay to feel sad, but know I will always be there for you” he kissed you

Jumin

  • He dropped everything to be there for you
  • Family is important to him
  • And you are important
  • So it hurt him to see you like this
  • And although it was hard to see you cry, he let you cry it out
  • And Elizabeth 3rd was by your side to help comfort you
  • He made sure you kept eating and drinking regularly
  • It was hard for him to open up emotionally to you but he was there just the same, and if you wanted to talk he would listen
  • Even if he wouldn’t quite understand your feelings
  • Sent beautiful flower arrangements and gifts to all of your relatives
  • And took over paying for the funeral
  • It was expensive but tasteful
  • And you appreciated all of the thought and care that he put into everything
  • He urged you to spend time with your family, grieving together, because it’s always easier with your family by your side

Saeyoung

  • He wanted to cry seeing you cry
  • It was super hard for him
  • But he was there to comfort you in any way he could
  • He believed in comforting touches
  • So he would run his fingers through your hair or rub your back
  • He took over everything in the house so you didn’t have to cook or clean
  • And he asked if you could tell some of your favorite and funniest memories with your relative
  • Because laughing helps
  • He kept being silly every chance he got, just to see you smile a bit
  • Lots of take-out in bed while you talked and talked about your feelings and memories
    • “Don’t worry MC, God is taking care of them,” he smiled
  • For a while you guys would light a candle in their memory
  • And Saeyoung put together a nice site where compiled old photos and movies of you guys, so you could go on there and smile when you were missing them or sad
100 reasons NOT to kill yourself

1. we would miss you.
2. it’s not worth the regret. either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.
3. it does get better. believe it or not it will eventually get better. sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.
4. there’s so much you would miss out on doing.
5. there is always a reason to live. it might not be clear right now, but it is always there.
6. so many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.
7. you ARE worth it. don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.
8. you are amazing.
9. a time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. you will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. because things always get better.
10. what about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? what about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? you can’t do them when you’re dead.
11. i love you. even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.
12. you won’t be able to listen to music if you die.
13. killing yourself is never worth it. you’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.
14. there are so many people that would miss you, including me.
15. you’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.
16. how do you think your family would feel? would it improve their lives if you died?
17. you’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.
18. think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again.
19. you’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day
20. listening to incredibly loud music.
21. being alive is just really good.
22. not being alive is really bad.
23. finding your soulmate.
24. red pandas
25. going to diners at three in the morning.
26. really soft pillows.
27. eating pizza in neww york city.
28. proving people wrong with your success.
29. watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life.
30. seeing someone trip over a garbage can.
31. being able to help other people.
32. bonfires.
33. sitting on rooftops.
34. sweing every single country in the world.
35. going on roadtrips.
36. you might win the lottery someday.
37. listening to music on a record player.
38. going to the top of the eiffel tower.
39. taking really cool pictures.
40. literally meeting thousands of new people.
41. hearing crazy stories.
42. telling crazy stories.
43. eating ice cream on a hot day.
44. more harry potter books could come out, you never know.
45. travelling to another planet someday.
46. having an underwater house.
47. randomly running into your hero on the street.
48. having your own room at a fancy hotel.
49. trampolines.
50. think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again.
51. think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke.
52. tour survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.
53. people do care.
54. treehouses.
55. hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse.
55. snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees.
56. i don’t even know you and i love you.
57. i don’t even know you and i care about you.
58. because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!
59. you won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.
60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS!
61. starbucks.
62. hugs.
63. stargazing.
64. you have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.
65. you’ve changed somebody’s life.
66. now you could change the world.
67. you will meet the person that’s perfect for you.
68. no matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.
69. you have the chance to save somebody’s life.
70. if you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.
71. making snow angels.
72. making snowmen.
73. snowball fights.
74. life is what you make of it.
75. everybody has a talent.
76. laughing until you cry.
77. having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.
78. the world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.
79.its possible to turn frowns, upside down
80. be yourself, don’t take anyone’s sh*t, and never let them take you alive.
81. heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. be your own hero.
82. heing happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. it means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
83. one day your smile will be real.
84. having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day.
85. lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.
86. getting completely smashed with your best friends.
87. eating crazy food.
88. staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one.
89. sleeping in all day.
90. creating something you’re proud of.
91. you can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit.
92. being able to meet your internet friends!
93. tea/coffee/hot chocolate.
94. team starkid.
95. cuddling under the stars.
96. being stupid in public because you just can.
97. if you are reading this then you are alive! is there any more reason to smile?
98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years.
99. people care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.
100. but, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen!

& if that isn’t enough:

-depression hotline: 1-630-482-9696
-suicide hotline: 1-800-784-8433
-lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
-trevor project: 1-866-488-7386
-sexuality support: 1-800-246-7743
-eating disorders hotline: 1-847-831-3438
-rape and sexual assault: 1-800-656-4673
-grief support: 1-650-321-5272
-runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
-exhale: ater abortion hotline/pro-voice: 1-866-4394253
-child abuse: 1-800-422-4453

UK HELPLINES:
-samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090
e-mail jo@samaritans.org
-childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
-mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393
e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
-mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463
legal@mind.org.uk
-b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open mon-fri 10.30am-8.30pm and saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
-b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open mon-fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, saturday 1pm-7pm)
-cruse bereavement care: 08444779400
e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
-frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
-drinkline: 0800 9178282
-rape crisis england & wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm)
e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
-rape crisis scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
-india self harm hotline: 00 08001006614
-india suicide helpline: 022-27546669
-kids help phone (canada): 1-800-668-6868, free and available 24/7

SUICIDE HOTLINES;
-argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
-australia: 13-11-14
-austria: 01-713-3374
-barbados: 429-9999
-belgium: 106
-botswana: 391-1270
-brazil: 21-233-9191
-china: 852-2382-0000
(hong kong: 2389-2222)
-costa Rica: 606-253-5439
-croatia: 01-4833-888
-cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
-czech republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
-denmark: 70-201-201
-egypt: 762-1602
-estonia: 6-558-088
-finland: 040-5032199
-france: 01-45-39-4000
-germany: 0800-181-0721
-greece: 1018
-guatemala: 502-234-1239
-holland: 0900-0767
-honduras: 504-237-3623
-hungary: 06-80-820-111
-iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
-israel: 09-8892333
-italy: 06-705-4444
-japan: 3-5286-9090
-latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
-malaysia: 03-756-8144
(singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
-mexico: 525-510-2550
-netherlands: 0900-0767
-new zealand: 4-473-9739
-new guinea: 675-326-0011
-nicaragua: 505-268-6171
-norway: 47-815-33-300
-philippines: 02-896-9191
-poland: 52-70-000
-portugal: 239-72-10-10
-russia: 8-20-222-82-10
-spain: 91-459-00-50
-south africa: 0861-322-322
-south korea: 2-715-8600
-sweden: 031-711-2400
-switzerland: 143
-taiwan: 0800-788-995
-thailand: 02-249-9977
-trinidad and tobago: 868-645-2800
-ukraine: 0487-327715

just in case you’re having a hard time.

stay strong.

anonymous asked:

Can you give us some book recommendations?

Okay book recs. Oh my god I have so many. I have a question after this that say’s POC book recs, so I’m going to keep this post to book recs that arent poc to keep these separated just for the sake of the anon’s that asked. 

Red Rising by Pierce Brown (Trilogy with a new book - a ‘spin off series’ coming out next year) - I will fucking promote this book series until I die. This is hands down, one of the best books I have EVER read. Honestly, for me it sort of beats out Harry Potter (Which if you know me, I’m obsessed with. I mean, I had a Harry Potter Sweet 16. [I’m from Long Island. Everyone there has a Sweet 16]) Not only is Red Rising extremely diverse and beautifully written,  but the storyline is incredible and the characters literally jump off the page. I dont think I’ve ever read a more human character than Darrow. Honestly PICK UP THIS BOOK. IT NEEDS MORE FUCKING ATTENTION. 

^^^^bolded it so people know that this is the best book ever and needs the read. 

Abarat by Clive Barker (Four books so far) - Now, this may not be everyones cup of tea. Maybe because I’m a painter, I appreciate him more. But his books are wonderfully illustrated with his paintings that follow along with the beautiful storyline. I recommend this book to the fucking stars. Its a fantastic story with amazing paintings. (Clive Barker, for those who don’t know, also created Hellraiser [Pin Head] and Midnight Meat Train along with a plethora of other stories. It’s worth the read.)

Song of Achilles (novel) - I mean, If you want to fucking CRY  then this is the book for you. It’s so fucking depressing but so FUCKING GOOD. I mean, if you know the story of Achilles, then you know why its depressing. But that doesnt take away from the beautiful story between Achilles and Patroclus. Definitely recommend this book. 

Along with that last book, a book that I feel goes hand in hand with it:

Captive Prince by C. S. Pacat (trilogy) - Now. A lot of people have a problem with this trilogy. I personally, as a (mixed, black) poc, have no problem with this book. It’s about two kingdoms, one of poc, Greek-like, and the other of boujee af french-like, white kingdom. In short, the Prince from the Greece inspired Kingdom is framed and shipped away to the french kingdom as a slave. Now, he becomes a slave (as a dark skinned man) to a white prince. There are a lot of things that happen like he gets whipped and other horrible shit. People have a problem with the book because of the dynamic between the two. They find it racist and insensitive. Here’s a great post as to why people don’t like the post, and the second comment is why I read it. I honestly find it to be a beautiful story that develops amazingly over time. I definitely recommend it. 

Kids of Appetite by David Arnold (novel) - I’ve just recently read this book and I absolutely fucking loved it. It’s an extremely diverse, beautiful story. Personally, I found the story sad, funny, heart warming, and inclusive. They brush upon the difficulties that black men specifically, have with the judicial system, by having an African man whom is loving and kind, constantly blamed for crimes that he did not commit. Again, it’s a really lovely book and this stuck with me for a very long time. I really recommend it. 

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness (novel) - If you don’t want to fucking SOB then don’t read it. If you want a beautiful story, I recommend this book to the stars. Honestly, I went into the book not knowing shit about it, just that people loved it. Then I realized that it was about fucking cancer and I was about to throw my god damned book because I don’t fend well with sad things. THEN I found out that it’s also now a movie with Liam Neeson. Ugh. I havent seen the movie yet, but damn was this book magical and heart breaking and wow… Read it. I personally fucking loved it. 

Fangirl  by Rainbow Rowell (novel) - I mean, I feel like this book actually summed up my early college experience lol! I was writing fanfiction, roleplaying, cooping myself up in my room - the only difference was, I didnt have a quirky, beautiful, sweet man to hold me as I read outloud to him (if you read the book, then you know what I’m talking about). Honestly, this was a fucking amazing book and I loved it so much. it was feel good and extremely nostalgic for people of my generation (’94-’96 specifically) really well. If you loved Harry Potter, grew up with it, went to the midnight book releases and movie screenings, submerged yourself in the fanfiction, then you will love this book. I thought it was fantastic. 

which leads me to this rec. 

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (novel) - Ugh. So in fangirl, there’s a fanfiction that the main character is writing. I know that this book is not the fanfiction, but it is named the same thing - so thats a nice connection. Again, if you love Harry Potter, if you love shipping Drarry (i dont because I find it problematic. But I feel if you like Drarry) then youd love this. I mean honestly, if you just like a cute story, with ridiculous spells, and adorable love, then read it. If you love Harry Potter ESPECIALLY READ THIS BOOK. 

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor (Trilogy) - Okay. Honestly, I havent seen many people promote this book series, but it is amazing and arguably, one of the most beautifully written trilogies that I have ever read (besides Red Rising. Ahem. Read it). It’s a wonderful story that comes together beautifully and is such a different book from your usual YA. 

The Archived by Victoria Schwab (Series of two) - So, if Victoria Schwab sounds familiar, that’s because she also goes under V.E. Schwab okay. Listen. I know that everyone loves A Darker Shade of Magic. I havent finished that book yet and I bet it’s amazing. However, we cannot forget the other amazing books she has written. The Archived is such a lovely, creative story that deserves more credit. Honestly, I’ve never read a book like it before and it stuck with me for an extremely long time. Apparently there is a third book coming out that I have actually been waiting for forever. I’m not going to say much about it, but these books are wonderful and deserve the read. 

Speaking of V.E. Schwab

Vicious by V.E. Schwab - This book deserves more recognition. Not only is the cover absolutely AMAZING, but the story is fuckign awesome. If you like Brandon Sanderson books, if you like superheros or Marvel and DC, read this fucking book. It’s fantastically written and needs to be read more. Get on it people. 

I mean, these are just some books. I purposely stayed away from some YA  series because I feel like a lot of people know about them. But I mean, some YA series that are well known that I like are:

Obviously Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas

The Darkest Minds  by Alexandra Bracken

The 5th Wave by Rick Yancy (ONLY THE FIRST FUCKING BOOK. THE REST OF THE SERIES IS SHIT AND IF YOU WANT TO JUST READ THE FIRST BOOK THATS COOL. COME TO ME AND I’LL TELL YOU THE REST BECAUSE THAT SHIT WAS RIDICULOUS. IT HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL, IF ONLY RICK YANCY DIDN’T SHIT THE BED. ALSO THE MOVIE WAS SHIT)


So anyway.. i think this is all I’ve got right now haha. I’ll put my favourite books written by poc in the anon above this!  

Full Benefits

Full Benefits

Word count: 5.6k

Genre: smut, angst, fluffy ending (?)


You and Namjoon had a special relationship, you mean there were plenty of people who had ‘friends with benefits’ relationship. Then again yours was still a little different because you two were close friends before and still were close friends. You spent most days together, not always have to do anything sexual.

Keep reading

amoralamusement  asked:

Hello, I always enjoy the work on this Tumblr. It's informative, interesting, and satisfying. Anyway, being an Ne dom like yourself, do you have any tips to not be overwhelmed by Ne a.k.a. How to Train Your Ne? I admit there are times when the ideas are buzzing and I yearn for stimulation then I become drained to the point of being physically tired.

Good timing, since I was just reading about Si-grips last night and realizing I basically live in one six months out of the year. :P

I’m not sure exactly what you mean, so I’ll cover all the bases I can think of.

There’s pretty much four stages in my life:

Ne-dom Extraordinaire: this is when you are the unbeatable monarch in your field, when you are on such a roll that not only do you finish your project ahead of the damn deadline, you went ahead and did sixteen other magnificent things that day too, just because your brain was on such a rush of SO MANY IDEAS. For example: you felt good about finishing your essay, so you wrote six movie reviews, four e-mails, 26 blog posts, and worked on your book to boot. And then you went to bed with a smile on your face because damn, I’m so fine.

Ne-dom Uninspired: this is when you feel “meh.” Not awesomesauce, not the lowest of the low, just plain MEH. Meh for a Ne-dom equals: semi-bored, semi-uninspired, semi-annoyed about it. Now, a sane person on this day goes and watches 24 episodes of ALIAS in a row to chill. Me, I FORCE myself to be ‘creative.’ And because I’m generally good at what I do, it comes out fine. Not knock your socks off stupendous, not awful, not even average, just fine. But it feels like dragging my brain through a cheese grater and I go to bed mad that my Ne-brain was lazy as hell today. Like, it’s supposed to be AMAZING all the time!!! What’s up with this?!

Ne-dom Bored-as-Hell: generally, this happens when your life is stagnant, or you are stuck on the same god-awful project for weeks, or your friends have not spoken to you in days, and you are so bored you can hardly stand it, but NOTHING appeals to you. You crave something, but don’t know what it is. You drag yourself through the work / school day like a fish on dry land, you scope the depths of depression, you maybe force yourself to do stuff, but it’s a clear indication that your Ne is STARVING TO DEATH. You must feed it. How? That’s up to you. Get in the car and drive. Go hang out with someone. Start learning something new. Read a book that you know you’ll hate, and blow your own mind by loving it. Try something totally, radically different.

Don’t be like me, and dye your hair purple and cut into a punk rock style. Although, God knows I looked adorable.

Ne-dom Work-a-Holic: also known as tunnel vision, also known as inferior Si grip, also known as the perfect way to make yourself exhausted at the end of the day. Picture a nice normal Ne being a freight train barreling through a tunnel at 976 miles per hour. Now picture a peasant maiden (or peasant lad, if that’s you’re thing) running out onto the tracks, and holding it in place for about 15 hours. It grinds to a halt, its wheels start to smoke, and the peasant maiden/lad is inching forward at, oh, about 6 miles per hour. Fast by her standards, slow by yours. Now imagine that’s what happens to your Ne, when you develop tunnel vision. All that power, going nowhere fast. Imagine the tremendous energy that just ground to a halt. The creeping subconscious despair of the engineer. You are both the peasant maiden/lad and the freight train. See the problem? You are ripping yourself apart. How’s that peasant maiden/lad going to feel at the end of the day?

Yup. Exhausted.

Now, what if that peasant maiden does this day after day for about a week?

Exhausted. Mental exhaustion, from holding back the train, forcing Ne to stay on one topic, or focus on “boring” things for days on end. Where’s the fun? Where’s the zany? Where’s the sarcasm and jokes and random connections? Hello, inferior Si. Obsessive compulsive, aren’t you? Fixated. BAD.

How to Train Your Ne:

1) Give yourself permission to stick to one idea for awhile.

I get it. You will have thousands of great ideas in a single lifetime, or maybe even a week. If you follow all of them right now, you will never finish anything. Do what I do: think about them, ponder them, don’t let them get too developed, and write down the ones you want to hold onto, put them in a jar, and… walk away with the biggest, shiniest, most exciting idea you just had. The others will keep. Let them stew in their juices. Focus on THIS IDEA.

2) Reward yourself for finishing things.

If you want to accomplish something, give your Ne what it wants – a challenge, and a reward. I used to motivate myself through “boring” tasks by setting time deadlines and writing like a bat out of hell, or dividing the task up into separate shorter parts that I can cross off after I do them. That shows me I am making progress. Right now, I’m sitting next to a half-crossed-off list of chapters in my book, which I am proof-reading / editing. Each time a pink line goes through someone’s name, I know I’m THIS MUCH CLOSER to finishing. THIS MUCH CLOSER to starting a NEW project. THIS MUCH CLOSER TO THAT PIECE OF CHOCOLATE I PROMISED MYSELF.

Ahem.

3) Accept that you cannot be at 110% all the time.

This may be hard for you to hear, but you’re a normal human being. You need sleep. You need rest. You need food. You need days off, and dates, and to go places, and be with people, and do things other than your job or your school or writing or whatever it is that occupies 90% of your time. Those normal things that a sensor can do without much fuss, wear you out. Tedious details wear you out. Planning wears you out. Keeping track of things wears you out. The temptation when this happens is to under-estimate what you, as a low Si, needs – which is a break. You tend to way overestimate what you can do in a single week, and sometimes you get way too much on your plate… so, if you know about things in advance that are going to “drain” your Ne, because it requires other, lower functions to be heavily used in your stack, plan to limit your interaction with those functions in excess of your responsibilities.

In other words, if you (me) have to do a bunch of tedious line-editing at work, it is not a good idea for me to come home and do… a bunch of tedious line-editing on my novel at the same time. That’s all Te/Si stuff.

Ne-stuff is… new ideas, new people, new philosophies, reading things that excite your mind and imagination and help you see things in a different way, or watching something new, or going somewhere where you can just be yourself. Your Ne cannot run on full power all the time, especially when you’re trying to hold back the freight train – so give yourself permission to take time off.

4) Pace yourself.

This piggybacks on the above, but as a Ne-dom, you way over-estimate how much you can do physically. Things like going places, driving for hours, being in crowds, walking long distances, etc., are tiring to someone with minimal sensing. Ne-doms need down time, to process their experiences. You are an introverted extrovert. Remember that, and give yourself down time. Try not to be out and about 24/7. But don’t stay home all the time either. That’s a cesspool of Ne-draining boredom waiting to happen.

5) Either do it right now or write it down.

My usual pattern is: get a good thought about 10pm. Then springboard into another idea. Then zip over that way for more ideas. I lay there, staring at the ceiling, telling myself to go to sleep, while thinking about everything I should talk about, investigate, or do in the morning. By morning, of course, either the ideas are all gone or I have lost any motivation to do them. Some of my best work is from dropping everything and doing it RIGHT NOW. Strike while the iron is hot, my dander is up, whatever. Some of my best short stories or articles came from getting up at 5am and pounding the keyboard. So, do it NOW… or write it down. If you write it down, you won’t have to try and remember it (also a chore for Ne).

The best things you can do for your Ne are the following:

  • Accept that this is who I am, and it’s okay.
  • Realize that mundane or tedious tasks drain your Ne
  • Let your mind wander
  • Give yourself permission to fantasize
  • Reward periods of the mundane with fun activities
  • Never let a week go by without planning something ‘fun’
  • Stimulate yourself with constant NEW things (books, movies, music)
  • Read a wide variety of things on a continual basis
  • Give yourself challenges and deadlines to beat
  • Make sure they are SHORT-TERM (you cannot stay too long)
  • Always have something in the immediate future to look forward to

Hope that helps.

(This week on tumblr has been DULL. Is it just me or is it dead?! Thank God for a new Doctor Who tomorrow! I need me some NEW Capaldi + Bill Potts. I totally want to be her best friend and hang out in space and eat blue cubes together.)

- ENFP Mod