i can’t focus on things for long. my brain doesn’t let me. if i need to focus, i need to move. my leg has to bounce, i need to fidget.
i can never finish what i started. tasks I start off excited about quickly get left behind in favour of new, more stimulating things.
i need to have a million things going on to feel satisfied. music and a book, a game and a movie, i have to have constant stimuli of every kind.
everything is a distraction. noise, lights, etc. even without physical distractions, my brain wanders off. i have to re-tune in to things, often after several minutes.
i never know when to shut up. i try, but it’s hard. and i always interrupt people. i hate waiting for turns, i need to be engaged constantly. listening to other’s is a struggle.
organizing is impossible. my room is always a mess, no matter how much i want to clean it. i lose everything constantly: my phone, my keys, my wallet, the remote, my pen. everything.
if i don’t like it, i can’t do it. even if i have to. if i like it, focusing is easier, but my attention still waivers.
some days are worse. some days, my brain is jumping from activity to activity. staying on tasks i usually enjoy wont happen. sitting still is impossible. when i can’t move or i feel bored, i get extremely frustrated and angry. everything in me wants to scream.
i always forget to do things i need to. notes and reminders don’t help. i have needed to pay my brighthouse bill for 2 months and i still haven’t.
i got so frustrated in class when i couldnt focus that i had to leave and i cried in the hallway. this isnt a first.
in elementary school, id read instead of paying attention in class because my books could hold my attention and didnt make me restless.
in middle school, i doodled instead of paying attention. i almost failed algebra because i couldn’t focus on the content. somehow i got a 5/5 on the exam.
i cried in the shower tonight because my brain doesn’t work.