this movie is amazing guys

I interrupt your daily dash-scrolling to present you the idea of a PIRATE AU FOR MIRACULOUS

(brought to you by maddy, who just watched the new pirates of the Caribbean movie which was amazing by the way)

okay but gUYS

-the baker’s daughter Marinette, loved by all, adorable, yeah yeah
-but all she wants is to travel the world and sail the seas
-her best friend Alya, the newspaper girl of the town, adores her more than anyone
-she’d do anything for her
-she’d ESPECIALLY love to be part of her crew
-but in this town, girls aren’t allowed to be captains of ships
-it pisses Marinette off so much but she’s the little innocent one she wouldn’t do anything right?
-nope. nope, she- she just stole a ship. she just stole a huge boat.
-Marinette what have you done
-now she’s on the run, with Alya by her side
-and a crew of Alix, Nathaniel, Kim, Max, Ivan, Mylene and Aurore
-the mayor of the town is so damn angry it’s actually hilarious
-he sends local heartthrob and son of the world-famous retired captain Gabriel, Adrien Agreste, to find her and bring her back to be executed
-so he does
-mayor’s daughter finds out and casually brings up that she’d like to be a part of the investigation
-‘girls can’t be on the ship, that’s why we’re chasing down miss dupain Cheng in the first place’
-yeah well Chloe doesn’t like that
-she sneaks on board pretending to be a guy
-chaos ensues, but the best part is when Chloe and Adrien come across the hot pirate known as Capt. Ladybug two years later
-and oH WOW HOLY SHIR THATS MARINETTE AND HER CREW
-WHY ARE THEY SUDDENLY SO HOT
-WHY ARE THE VILLAINS SO HOT
-AHHHHH???
-anyway
-hopeless romantics Chloe- no, dammit, she’s supposed to be a boy, her name is Keenan- and Adrien abandon their mission
-Chloe reveals she’s a girl
-'hell yeah welcome to our crew’
-they like to steal from their old town
-Alya, Adrien and Chloe have fights over Mari
-quiet and brooding Nath, who carves intricate patterns into the boat, finds out and joins in
-so does Nino
-until Nino and Nath end up falling in love with Adrien
-Nath totally forgets about Mari
-Nino doesn’t
-whatever
-I JUST WANT TO WRITE THIS OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE

dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes

How can people even complain and compare disney movies? Like Frozen is about how love between siblings can be stronger than romantic love. Big Hero 6 is about how depression can seriously affect people and how friends can help you heal. Tangled is about abusive parents. Brave is about how you are in control of your fate no matter what people tell you. Lilo and Stich is about how the family is all the people you love and you should always look out for them. Mulan is about no matter who you are and what people tell you, you make your own path in life and can be as strong as anyone else.

They may all be by the same company but all these movies have different amazing messages so stop pitting them against each other and enjoy the beauty in them

I obviously didn’t ask for Vortigern feelings but here I am crying on another fictional character who deserved all the shit he went through but managed somehow to break my heart anyway AND THERE’S NOT EVEN A FANDOM I CAN CRY WITH

4

In fact, such a funny moment happened with Liev Schreiber, who I was presenting with. I was backstage after we finished presenting and he was like ‘Oh my God, that movie was amazing, that guy made it!’ and I was like… I mean, I’m not from America so I don’t know pop culture as much and I was like ‘Who is he?’ and he was so… he was like ‘What?! You don’t know that person?!’ and I was like ‘If you go to India, will you know Amitabh Bachchan?’

10

HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE TWO

vanityfair.com
A Man from U.N.C.L.E. Sequel Is in the Works
Star Armie Hammer breaks the news.
By Joanna Robinson

Don’t tease me! You better write it AND make it!