this moment just made me really happy okay

Joker Imagine  - He upsets you

Your P.O.V.

All relationships had their ups and downs, right?

Dating Joker was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was so happy when I was with him. We were literally made for each other. He was like the devil (some say) and at first I was as innocent as an angel. We needed each other and somehow we stole personality traits. Let’s just say thing went really well between us. Then came the bad days.

I had been really moody for a week. We had been fighting a few days agobut we were still bitter about it. Now that my hormones weren’t controlling me so much, I thought we could talk things through.

After gathering my courage by breathing slowly and thinking positive thoughts, I dared to walk into his office, of course knocking first. I found him by his brown desk. The usually bright room seemed a little darker. The curtains were pulled in front of the windows and no lamps were on. Joker glanced at me and then dramatically rolled his eyes and got back to whatever he was doing. It hurt a little bit but it didn’t stop me from going further in.

‘’We need to talk J’’ I broke the annoying silence. I knew he wasn’t going to be the first one talking either. ‘’About what?’’ He growled without looking at me. ‘’Look I didn’t mean to fight with you’’ I began with a sigh. Suddenly he threw his pen across the room and I flinched. Where did that sudden anger come from?

‘’Get out!’’ He yelled loudly. I swear if he yelled just a little louder, my ears would bleed. ‘’No’’ I barked back sternly. Was he serious? Joker looked at me like I had pulled the trigger on him. Then he got up, slowly, and walked closer to me. The look in his eyes was deadly and he scared me a little bit. ‘’What did you just say?’’ He wanted to know if I would repeat myself. ‘’I said no. We’re going to talk and that’s final’’ I crossed my eyes and tried to act tough.

‘’Since when did you become such a bitch? Get the fuck away before I lose it’’ He warned me loudly. He was really close now. I just narrowed my eyes at my boyfriend. ‘’Well I’m sorry but I care about our relationship.Can we please just take a seat and talk? I’m sure we’ll get this through’’ I tried to convince him.

‘’Y/N why can’t you understand anything?’’ He wanted to know. Geez, he was really pissed off at me. ‘’Why can’t you understand anything? I’m sorry for being bitchy earlier. I just want things to be fine’’ I admitted as calmly as I possibly could. His behaviour pissed me off as well. ‘’You’re always a bitch these days. Sometimes I wish I never met you. Just leave me alone Y/N or I will make sure you’ll never bother anyone ever again’’ He scoffed through gritted teeth. My eyes widened because his words shocked me.

‘’You were always such a weak little cunt. I thought I could change you. It was like a challenge. Damn, I truly did but you became an annoying bitchy version of Satan. Just go! I don’t care where’’ He raised his voice word by word. it’s like he had planned these words for a long time. I couldn’t deny that this hurt. I didn’t expect him to be this mad.

After just standing still for a while, he got tired of it. I saw how he raised his arm and it caused my heart to jump to my throat. I stepped back and then I put a fake smile on my face. ‘’S-Sorry J, I’ll go’’ I reassured him. I was terrified of being hit. I’d do anything to avoid it. So I decided to leave before he saw me crying. Then he’d totally think of me as a weak bitch. Oh damn it, he was right! I was a weak annoying idiot!

As soon as I stepped out of his office I ran to the door. I barely got my shoes on and then I was running down the stairs all the way from the penthouse to the first floor. I’d have to go away! Tears blurred my vision as I ran away. Damn, his words felt like a knife in the heart!

After running madly for a few minutes, I reached an alley. That’s when I noticed that it was raining hard and my hair and clothes got soaked. It was early spring so it was cold outside as well. Although I tried to stay strong I just couldn’t. I leaned against the cold brick wall and then I slid down so I was sitting next to a dumpster. At least people wouldn’t find me here. I hugged my knees tightly and I started crying really hard. I meant nothing to J!
The worst part of this all was that I had missed my periods for a while now. I had a small feeling that it had something to do with my moodswings. What if I was pregnant? I know tests weren’t 100% accurate but two of them showed positive.


“Y/N?” I heard someone calling out for me. For fuck’s sake! It was J. I covered my mouth with both my hands so I wouldn’t sob. I tried to hide but he had obviously been following me. All I could hear besides the city and the rain was my heart. It was going really fast.


Y/N!” He got closer. It didn’t take long until I had to breathe and he heard me. Joker walked up to me and then he found me leaning against the wall. “Leave me a-alone” I tried to yell, but I couldn’t control my breathing. My chest was rising uncontrollably and I was trembling. Panic.


Joker got down next to me and he pulled on into his arms even tho I tried to fight it.  I slapped his chest but it was useless. He held me close but he kept quiet. “Let me go!” I coughed through tears. “I’m not stupid enough to do that” He suddenly told me. I clenched my jaw but it didn’t stop my tears from oozing out of my E/C eyes. Joker seemed calmer now.


“I’m sorry okay?” He apologized which was a miracle. I bit my lips together so hard that I tasted blood. Then I looked up to him. J didn’t seem to happy or proud at the moment. He seemed sad. “I didn’t mean what I said” He added which was a lot from him. J was a proud man. He saw my teary eyes and then he wiped away some of my tears. “A-are you really sorry?” I whimpered as I started to calm down. He nodded and it made me a little happier. “I’m sorry too” I whispered and leaned against his wet chest.

 The rain soaked both of us.
“Let’s go home okay? We can take a warm bath and talk just like you wanted” He suggested while rubbing my back. I nodded and smiled. My Puddin loved me although he got really angry sometimes.  I’m not saying that I wasn’t sad anymore. I was just happy that he came for me. Talking and apologizing well could happen later.


I just hope that he wouldn’t be this angry if I was pregnant..

TO THE GIRL WHO LOVED ME

Maybe the reason why she kept asking if I loved her was because of me. I’ve stopped showing her off—I no longer post her pictures, write status about her, or tag her with silly memes. I no longer reply to her comments of sweet nothings and she just deletes them when I ignore them. For me these were stupid stuff but these little things made her happy before.

I stopped kissing her at random moments. I no longer hug her when she’s scared, anxious, or insecure. Hell, I couldn’t even remember the last time I did. I didn’t know how to tell if she’s really okay or not because I stopped asking her if something’s bothering her. I no longer remind her how beautiful she is even if she only wears a big shirt. When was the last time her smile reached her eyes? No, she did smile. She smiled at me even when I hurt her, lied to her, ignored her.

She lost her best friend, her brother, her lover, when I stopped being them. I took myself away from her. And it hurts to know all these without realizing what I’ve done to her.

How could I give my attention to other girls without checking first if she’s okay? How could I text other girls and forget that she’s waiting for my messages? How could I allow myself to admire other girls without realizing I already have the best? I was too busy to see that she’s already drifting and I’m doing nothing to pull her back. And when I think of the idea of losing her, it broke my heart. It damaged me to think of some other guy making my girl happy, doing things we used to do, loving her the way I should.

No, I couldn’t lose the girl who stayed with me even after I broke her and cried herself to sleep. I couldn’t lose the one who only ever understood me, the only one who didn’t only tame my demons, but also danced with them. I couldn’t lose the girl who loved me when I didn’t love her enough. I couldn’t lose my best friend, my love, my world. She’s all things I need and I’m so stupid to only realize it now.

I’m sorry, my love. I love you. And I’d do anything in my power to keep you.

—hanzelwrites, Letters I Wish He Sent Me

Piece of cake to bake

μ’s takes out Nico to celebrate for her birthday. Unfortunately, Maki couldn’t make it, but she had her own good reasons. NicoMaki.

Word count: 1581

A/N: This is a collab with @myonmukyuu!!! sfuibfuiweb I was so excited when she asked me if I wanted to do something with her but don’t tell her that mkay??? thanks

[Ao3] [FF.net]

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you have any advice for someone who's having a bit of a "help I'm in a Comp Lit MA but the job opportunities for humanities grads are quite bad and oh god what have I done to my future why didn't I study law or something" moment? I know choosing law or smth wouldn't have made me happy, and I know I am relatively good at what I do, I'm just really really anxious at the idea of not getting a good job. I know I'll have to work hard, I guess I just need some reassuring words that it'll be okay.

Thinking you’re not going to get a job because you’ve done an MA in the humanities is self-sabotage. The humanities prep and train you with so many skills, and the whole myth that humanities students are un-employable is just that – a myth. So concentrate on your degree and apply to the jobs you want. 

Undo (Final)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10
Epilogue | Epilogue: We Meet Again

Description: “I’ll always be with you, my love. Always.”

Warnings: age gap, death, smut

Word Count: 10,009 (strap on your seatbelts, kids, this is why they call me the angst queen)

Pairing: Park Chanyeol x Reader

Author: Admin Xiufairy ㅅㅇㅅ (two epilogues next~)


Eighteen. The number felt so nice to refer to yourself as. You were finally eighteen. You once again spent the day with Chanyeol, it was like every other birthday except the two of you went out for this one. You held hands and ran through the streets, nearly falling backward when he stopped you to kiss you.

You giggled against his lips and grabbed his hand to pull him along with you. He followed you easily as if it was a second nature to him. You blushed when you saw the old woman sitting on the bench.

Keep reading

Bittersweet! Hwang Minhyun

Part 1// Part 2

Prologue: You get a wedding invitation. ♡ Angst?


It was a normal morning when you went down to the lobby of your apartment. You walked to the mail room and opened your room number to see a lacy pale white card with a tiny myrtle, the flower of marriage and love.

‘Ahh, so the time has come.’

You were 7 when you met him. Your parents told you to get ready for a fancy restaurant because they were going to meet their friends who went overseas for a couple of years.
“y/n, this is Mr. and Mrs. Hwang.” Your mother smiled and motioned you to go say hi. You did your greetings and glanced at the boy who was staring at you. You smiled at him before going to your seat. You didn’t notice the pinks in his cheeks throughout the whole night, and the dinner ended with you two only knowing each other’s names.

At the age of 10, you and Minhyun were at the park.
“Here y/n!” He handed you thornless rose.
“Oh, thank you!” You smiled as you observed the beautiful flower.
“You’re welcome! Do you know the meaning of this flower?” He asked, eyes twinkling with a huge smile.
You shook your head.
“It means love at first sight!” He laughed as he ran towards the swings. Oh, my lord, you should have had a mirror with you to see how red you got, like ‘y/n, did you get sunburn on your face??’ resulting to your dad going to the store to buy bulks of sunblock.

At 15, you joined the astronomy club with Minhyun and had countless stargazing nights.

“Hwang Minhyun! Come back over here!” You yelled as you ran towards the troublemaker. It was the last day of your high school, and the fact that Minhyun confessed to you on the chalkboard with huge letters didn’t help. Especially when he left red roses all over the classroom floor.
“Yah!” You were at least 10 ft away from him.
He laughed as he turned around, still running away but backward. Don’t do this at home kids. You blushed at the sudden eye contact.
“I love you y/n!” He uses his arms to make a heart before turning around and running faster away, still laughing.
“Idiot! At least come back and help me clean up!!”

One night, Minhyun took you out to the countryside to look at the stars. He took your hand and smiled at each constellation he got right. Making you giggle when he pouts at the ones he got wrong.
“y/n, let’s get married under the stars.”
Your eyes widen and your cheeks flushed red as you sat up and looked at him. He was red too as he looked back at you.
“Really?” He nodded.
You head up your pinky finger, “Okay, promise me in front of the moon!” You flashed him a smile.
He laughed before connecting his pinky with yours. “Promise.” He kissed you.

Luckily, you guys were able to go to the same college and your relationship just continued to blossom. Looking back, you guys always happy and enjoyed each other’s presence. There was never a dull moment, and he was always there for you when you were down and vice versa. You guys took care of each other. Both of you guys made it through college, despite the harsh courses and the messed up sleeping/eating schedules.

Perhaps… it was when one of your friends had a wedding. You and Minhyun were, of course, invited. It was a beautiful ceremony with one of your best friends being the maid of honor. She looked beautiful, almost distracting everyone from the original bride. Minhyun wasn’t an exception. If you just kept your eyes on the bride and groom, maybe you wouldn’t have noticed how Minhyun just continued to look at your best friend, Seomin. However, you did notice and entangled your hand with his, squeezing it a little while giving him a small smile. He returned your smile before continuing to glance.

Or maybe it was that time in college when your group of friends decided to have a karaoke party. You excused yourself to the restroom and came back to see Minhyun, not in his original seat. He was sitting next to your best friend. You brushed it off and thought it was a normal conversation and went to sit next to Jaehwan as he looked at the songbook.
“Which song are you deciding on Jaehwan?”
“Oh! Hey, y/n! Where’s Minhyun?”
“He’s talking to Seomin right now.”
“Oh- well let’s sing this song together!!”
He grabbed the mic from Seongwoo and took your hand.

Ps. Seongwoo was shook, but recovered and sang the song with you and Jaehwan.

It can even be the time when it was almost Jisung’s birthday and Sungwoon was planning a surprise party, so he invited the whole friend group to a family restaurant. You didn’t even pay attention to the sitting positions, but you couldn’t help but notice Minhyun wasn’t by your side- rather he was across from you and Seomin was on his right.
‘They must be talking about their class again.’

About a year after college, Minhyun and you haven’t been meeting up as often. When you had free time, he just seemed to be busy. When he had free time, you agree to meet up despite being tired. As the months passed, you guys grew more distant.

You still talk Seomin, since you guys were best friends.
“Hey! Do you want to hang out today? Minhyun canceled, and I have a reservation at a pretty cafe.”
“Sure! Can we meet up in an hour-”
“Babe, do you want to get something to eat?” You must be hearing things.
“…was that Minhyun? Sorry, I must be missing him too much to the point where I’m hearing his voice.”

“…”

The silence answered everything.

“Goodbye Minhyun.”

Ever since that day, you always had purple hyacinth delivered to your door every Friday. You ignored them for 2 weeks, before realizing flowers deserve better treatment than your hate for him. Thus they are potted in your balcony.

Back to the present, you grabbed the lacy invitation and walked back to the elevator.
‘The boys are coming later, I better have food ready.’

“Woah y/n! This is really good pasta!” Sungwoon said as he continued to chomp down the dish. The others nodding in agreement.
You laughed, “Thank you.”
So… are you planning to go to the wedding? Ow- what the heck Jisung.” He grabbed his shin.
“Shut up Jaehwan,” Jisung muttered.
“Haha, no it’s fine guys. I’m okay!” You smiled and glanced at the purple flowers. “It’s been years.”

The 5 boys follow your gaze and sighed one by one as they saw the flowers.
“You still get flowers?” Daniel asked, still looking at the garden of purple.
“Mhmm”
Seongwoo sighed, “You know the meaning of the flowers?”
“Mhmm… ‘I am sorry, Please forgive me…’”

“…”

“…Ah… he’s even able to make my taste sour.” Jaehwan frowned.
Everyone burst out laughing.
“You know, you can go with me to the wedding y/n.” Seongwoo offered as he winked at you.
You raised your eyebrow. “Oh?”
“No way. If she’s going with anyone, it’ll be me.” Jisung stood up and posed.
Sungwoon pushed Jisung aside, making him lose his balance. “Why you? I think I’ll be a better choice.” Sungwoon strikes another pose.
“Please guys, let’s be real. She should go with the best visuals in this room, me. Kim Jaehwan.”
You burst out laughing with Daniel before he grabs your hand “Your pick should be Nayana.”
It was a fun afternoon filled with food and laughter.

The place of the wedding was beautiful. It was in the countryside, with the moon and stars shining above.
‘So he’s still in love with the night sky.’ You chuckled quietly before parking your car.
There he was, at the entrance, looking ethereal as always. You waited for a huge group to blend in with in order to go past him. But he noticed.
“y/n.” He grabbed your wrist.
You gave him a smile, before signaling him to let go of your wrist.
“Hello Minhyun, I like your choice of the wedding’s place.”
“Look y/n-”
“It sure is beautiful here, reminds me of the past.”

He grew silent. 
You continued, looking up at the moon, “You remember the promise?”
Tears were gathering in your eyes. “Just promise me that you’ll be happy now.”

Your vision blurred as the tears fell.

“Thank you for everything Minhyun.”

You smiled once more before walking away.
The others were waiting for you at the assigned table. As soon as they saw you, they offered open arms and smiles.

‘Ahh, how bittersweet.’



Unedited. 1458 words. A bit angst…?
Thank you for reading!  

SVT Cute Jobs; Joshua!!

Originally posted by jishooua

ok so yall knew this was coming

i hope

also i got inspiration from Shawn Mendes’s new song cause the guitar work in the song is making me sCREAM YES (i might be a lowkey stan)

¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸¸.•♥•.¸

-Joshua Hong

-aka

-je

-guitar dad (who shouldn’t have acquired a nickname that his related to his religion thanks)

-it all started when his parents opened up a music shop before he was born

-then the brightest sunshine on the whole planet was born

-and the rest is history 

-sort of

-so when he was old enough his parents gave him his first guitar

-at first he had no idea what to do with it

-he used it as a lightsaber once oops

-in the long run he actually started to learn how to play guitar and it was really cool cause he could play all these different songs on the guitar

-he tried to replicate the opening to Still Original by Dr Dre and Snoop Dogg

-it actually went really well damn kid you got talent

-he also owns a small channel on youtube but doesn’t upload often rip

-after working in the shop for a while he had a genius idea

-he noticed that a lot of kids were getting guitars from his family’s shop

-but wouldn’t know how to play

-so he offered to teach the kids

-for free

-what a kind soul

-his parents suggested that he did it for money and to earn it as a job but it didn’t appeal to him as much as seeing little kids smile after mastering twinkle twinkle little star on guitar

-he also asked if he could hold sessions in the shop and his parents agreed

-so everywhere he went he put up flyers about free guitar lessons in the shop and 1 on 1 sessions too

-at first the parents weren’t too sure about a teenager teaching kids how to play songs like Toxic by Britney Spears and Its Gonna Be Me by Nsync 

-iTS GONNA BE MAY (EVERY LITTLE THING I DO)

-but after they came in to see him

-they soon realised that he is a gentle soul and cannot hurt anyone at all

-not even a fly

-except for that one moth in the 7th grade but that was because it flew into his face

-but that’s not the point

-speaking of parents

-your parents and little brother have been talking about taking guitar lessons and after seeing him with the other kids they soon agreed

-but you didn’t exactly know what was going on

-so one morning

-you wake up before anyone else

-it was like 10 am and your parents were out of town

-what amazing timing 

-your little brother was dressed before you

-and it was a saturday morning

-w      h      a     t

-”dude why the hell are you dressed before me??”

-”i’m practising guitar today”

-”since when did you start guitar??”

-”i started a while ago”

-”thats why im finding note sheets i thought i was losing my mind wow okAY”

-you shook it off as it was nothing because

-a. your little brother was weird as hell and b. your life was like a really cringey and cool 2000′s Disney Channel sitcom 

-you continued eating your breakfast as it was nothing special because it was nothing special

-ding dong

-just as you put your plate in the sink someone rings your doorbell

-as you’re walking to the door you’re thinking about who it could be

-shit maybe your mum and dad came back early cause you and your brother alone in the house spelt out the word trouble in big fat fucking letters

-or its the mailman 

-you’re at the door in your pjs holding a cup of tea

-you’re ready to fuck shit up if it’s not the mailman or your parents

-did i mention you had great bed hair like you looked like you just came out of a Pantene commercial 

-you open the door

-its a dude

-just holding a guitar

-your fACE GOES SO RED LMAO

-like wtf

-he’s incredibly handsome

-and hes just smiling to you

-like he doesn’t notice the fact that you’re in your god damn pjs

-like they have little eEVEES ON THEM FROM THE TIME THAT YOUR PARENTS WENT TO JAPAN AND THEY WENT TO THE POKEMON CENTRE AND GOT THEM FOR YOU

-eeveeshua

-can that be his nickname instead of the reference to his religion thank

-if he has notice them

-then 

-you’re just praying that hes just like awww thats cute

-you give a blank stare like what are you doing why are you here what’s your name hi are you single and ready to bingo

-sorry

-”hi is y/b/n in? i’m joshua and i’m here to teach him guitar. whats your name?

-”ah, yeah hes in. i’ll get him quickly. and my name is y/n.”

-so that’s why the brat is dressed up so nicely

-and why he has a guitar

-that also explains the sandwich you had that was wrapped in music sheets

-thanks dad

-you let him in and you let him sit in your front room

-and you slyly watch from the sidelines

-and you think

-theres an angel in my god damn house

-oh m y   g o D

-so you just go upstairs and call your brother

-”why is there an angel in the front room??!!!!”

-”oh you mean Joshua? yeah hes pretty cool! you should hear him sing too! he sounds like one of those dudes on the voice!”

-oooooooooooooooooooHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT

-inside you’re breaking down

-f u cjokjsdkwjd

-aaaaaaa

-okay calm down y/n

-you finally get dressed after spending like 10 hours in your eevee pjs i want some so badly 

-and you just wear a normal jumper and a pair of jeans 

-nothing fancy

-and you just brush your hair

-but when you go to check up on your brother and his new guitar teacher

-joshua

-he just

-freezes?!??!?!

-like he stops after you ask them if they want a drink and hes just looking at you

-like wow

-yoU’RE SO CUTE

-you bring the two drinks in and place them on the table

-”let me know if you want anything to eat, okay?”

-f  r   o      z     e   n

-hes just screaming on the inside

-after a while you hear them play a really popular song

-ok it’s There’s Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes

-aka it’s the song you kind of like

-take away the kind of 

-you like it a lot

-so you’re just in the kitchen

-you hear them play it

-and you just hum

-then you quietly sing 

-then you just sing

-and boi your voice is nICE CHILL FAM

-and joshua hears you laugh a little

-he stops pLAYING BOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU LEAVIN LITTLE MAN HANGIN

-”you hear that?”

-”oh it;s just y/n singing. she does it a lot.”

-”her voice is beautiful.”

-and as he said that

-yOU WALK INTO THE ROOM

-YOU FREEZE

- W  H   A   T 

-hE HEARD YOU SHIT 

-Joshua is also shook that you’re in the room too

-”y-you heard me? i swear we need to get that echo fixed in the hallway omg you know what i’m gonna call my mum about that now–”

“no, he said that your voice was really nice.”

-”i said beautiful”

-”what he said”

-your face juST GOES AS RED AS A RED BALLOON

-you smile so much

-yOU’RE TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLd help

-“i have an idea! i’ve been thinking–”

-”bro thats a little dangerous”

-haha very funny but my idea is that you sing and Josh can play the guitar! just once, please?”

-joshua smiled to your brother then to you 

-”that sounds like fun, what do you say y/n?”

-YOUR FACE. IS. STILL. RED.

-……cute 

-”y/n are you okay?”

-”i-i’m fine…could you excuse me for a moment?”

-you run out the room

-you run upstairs to your room

-you jump on your bed

-and you sCREAM 

-FU CK 

-you calm down and then go downstairs again

-”that sounds really cool”

-but you always thought

-maybe theres a catch

-huh

-maybe not

-so your brother just sits on the chair 

-and you two are sitting on the sofa

-THE GUITAR SINGING POWER COUPLE

-SHAWN MENDES IS SHAKIN

-you two finish

-and smile to each other

-i smELL A RELATIONSHIP COMIN

-you genuinely made him happy with his voice

-so at the end of the day

-you say goodbye at the door and he just gives you a piece of paper

-with a number

-”what’s this?”

-”it’s my number. we should sing together more often.”

-”it’s a date.”


-“wait iS IT A DATE??”

-”IDK IF YOU WANT IT TO BE”

-”THEN SURE I’LL SEE YOU LATER Y/N I LOVE YOU– I MEAN I LOVE YOUR VOICE”

-and then your little bro is just in the other room like

-”i swear to god they’re made for each other….”

fall back into place

requested by anonymous: nico asking jason for relationship advice. warning: this went off in a completely random direction, but i hope u still enjoy!

::

Jason has a big, dumb grin, which suits him, as far as Nico is concerned, because he is a big, dumb guy.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Nico grumbles, but nope. The big dumb grin appears to be scowl proof.

“I just can’t believe you came to me!” Jason says, and he sounds genuinely excited and happy about it. It’s kind of weird.

Sometimes, the amount that his friends make him roll his eyes back into his skull makes him long for days of being alone with his thought and feared by the ghost of one thousand year old entities.

But those days were sad. These ones are much better.

Keep reading

honestly?? i know it’s kind of stupid but klance genuinely makes me feel less shitty and depressed and this interview made me feel terrible. like i get that this is a kids show and it’s not about romance but klance is one of the few things that makes me feel actual genuine happiness and ,, yeah. i love them? a lot? and they’re one of the things that motivates me to get through things.

KuroMahi {8: Things You Said When You Were Crying}


@simplyrisichu Here you go!


Happy Mother’s Day, Kuro read the sign and glanced worriedly at Mahiru. He continued to walk down the street to his family grave with a solemn smile and anyone passing them on the street wouldn’t question it. But Kuro wasn’t a passing stranger and he knew Mahiru better than anyone. He thought Mahiru was acting strange when he insisted they go outside for the day and buy flowers but now he understood.

“Mahiru,” Kuro gently took his hand and stopped him. While he was smiling bravely, his silence told Kuro that he was barely maintaining that smile. Mahiru looked back at him and he hesitated for a moment. He had never been the best at comforting people and he was often ungraceful with his words but he wanted to say something, anything, to help Mahiru.

“I know you don’t like going out but it’ll only be for a little bit. I just need to stop by one more place and then we can go home. I’m sorry I dragged you here with me.” He smiled apologetically at him and Kuro chastised himself. Mahiru was the one in pain yet he always thought about others before himself. “If you want, you can hang out in one of the shops down the street while I do this.”

Mahiru slipped his hand from his and Kuro felt a weight fall on him. What could he do for him? Kuro remembered all the times Mahiru had supported him and pulled him out of his darkest moments. The words he said made him happy and Kuro repeated them. “Mahiru, I’m your partner. So, if you’re worried or troubled, I want to help. I’ll listen whenever you’re ready to talk to me.”

He let out a shaky breath and his smile fell for just a moment before he regained his composure. Mahiru shook his head and Kuro felt as if a wall suddenly rose between them. “It’s okay, Kuro, really. You don’t need to worry about me.”

Mahiru could see Kuro’s hesitant expression and tried to reassure him. He knew that Kuro probably already guessed that they were going to visit his family grave considering that he brought incense and flowers. He thought that having Kuro with him would make him stronger but his emotions had never felt more suffocating. Whenever he looked at Kuro or the graves, he only wanted to cry so he looked down at the ground.

“Kuro, can you hold these for me while I clean up?” Mahiru asked when they reached his family grave. He didn’t meet his eyes as he passed the bags to him. Without a word, Mahiru began to wash the cold stone. He had cleaned it alone so many times in the past and he didn’t understand why his hands were shaking now. But the more he tried to stop his hands from shaking, the more his emotions shook him until he couldn’t move his hands anymore.

A hand fell over his and gave him a comforting squeeze before it took the brush from him. Kuro went through the motions of preparing the grave but he kept Mahiru in the corner of his eyes. He kept his gaze to the ground but he could how pale he was. Kuro didn’t know if he was doing the right thing or if his actions gave Mahiru the barest hint of support but he needed to do something to make him smile again.

Mahiru sat in front of the grave as Kuro placed the flowers they brought in a vase. He didn’t move even after Kuro poured water over the grave and it was time for them to prayer. Kuro patted his shoulder before he put his hands together and spoke out loud.

“Your son has become very strong and brave. I’m sorry that it’s probably because I got him caught up in a lot of dangerous business. But I’m doing my best to protect your son. It’s a little difficult because he loves to rush in and save everyone. I wouldn’t change that though, because it just proves that he’s a kind and brave person. You don’t need to worry about Mahiru because I’ll always be here for him. Even without a contract between us, I’d feel the same.”

“How can you say that?” Mahiru asked and his voice was small. “How can you say I’m brave when all I want to do right now is cry? I don’t even know why I feel like this. This is the first time I get to visit my mother with someone but I still feel like this. I shouldn’t feel like this! I should be grateful that I’m not alone but I just want to cry. I haven’t felt like this since…”

Mahiru couldn’t remember the last time his emotions overwhelmed him like this. It felt as if there was something heavy on his chest and he couldn’t breathe. Every time he tried to take a breath, the dam holding back his tears threatened to burst. He didn’t even have the strength to wipe away his tears and they blurred his vision. “Why do I feel like crying?”

“It’s okay if you want to.” Kuro gathered Mahiru into his arms and pressed his face into his chest. He couldn’t bring himself to return Kuro’s embrace because he felt paralyzed but he pressed himself against him like a lost animal seeking shelter. He stroked his hair and pressed a kiss to his temple. Finally, Mahiru’s tightly strung emotions snapped when he felt those two small actions.

He let out a pained sound and tears followed. His body shook as he cried and he was certain that his tears were going to stain Kuro’s jacket. Neither cared. Kuro focus was only on holding Mahiru through the torrent of tears and Mahiru wrapped his arms around his neck. Through the outpour of emotions, Mahiru clung to him desperately. The more he cried, the tighter Kuro held onto him.

After Mahiru cried all the tears he didn’t know he had in his body, he rubbed his eyes against Kuro’s shoulder. He didn’t want to let go of him and was glad that Kuro continued to hold him. Taking a breath still hurt him a little and his breathing was unsteady but Mahiru finally felt like the weight on his chest was gone. His body felt strangely empty but lighter as well. Kuro felt his body stop shaking but he didn’t say anything and waited patiently for Mahiru.

When he started crying, Mahiru didn’t understand why but he slowly began to as continued to sob. He wasn’t crying because he was weak. He was crying because he recognized he could. He had someone that wouldn’t judge him for crying and would support him even in his weakest moments. He had Kuro. His body realized this before Mahiru did and let out all the tears he had been holding throughout the years, trusting that Kuro would support him.

Mom, I’m doing okay and you don’t need to worry about me. I found someone strong and dependable. He’s a little unconventional and a lazy slob but he’s everything I never knew I needed. I’m sure you’ve been watching me so you already know this. I love him.


This is a little longer than I expected it would be.

[Send me a ship and one of these and i’ll write a mini fic]

Better late than never.

Originally posted by jjaebs

Request: Id like to request a Jealous!Reader x Kino or Hongseok angst/fluff if its not a problem, im not good w ideas so Im leaving the plot to you.

Word count: 801.



Hyunggu could feel jealousy creeping into every fiber of his being. His eyes narrowing as he watched a boy he didn’t like wrap his arms around your shoulders. His stomach clenched in frustration when you smiled, turning your face to look at the boy as he said something to you.

“We’re just friends”

That’s what he always said when people asked him about you, and now he was wishing he would have stopped saying that a long time ago. He wished he would have stopped being scared and just told you that he liked you.

Keep reading

daphtheowner  asked:

Heelloo sweetie i don't remember if i already request something for you (omg i request so many things i can't count LOL) and if you want to, feel free to ignore (idk if someone can request twice, omg, each blog have their own rules SORRY) but can I have some angst hc where toshinori say something hurtful to his s/o when she was just trying to be sweet for him in front of some people? I know it's kinda confused, but i feel that he's somehow shy LOL thank you darling <3 wonderful blog *------*

I had another request that was similar to this where Toshinori and his s/o get into a fight and he says something along the lines of “you’re nothing but a burden to me” and they run away and he tries to find her. This one was very similar so I’ve combined the two!

Hello! ^^ You didn’t send in an ask before, but even if you did that’s perfectly fine because there’s really no limit to how much one person can request, so go crazy! Hope you like this ( ^ω^ )

~

Yagi Toshinori

• He really didn’t mean to hurt you like that. He was just overwhelmed by everything going on around him. If he could take it back, he would in a heartbeat.

• Your boyfriend was in his “muscle form” and was giving an interview for some huge network. You were invited, too, because apparently people wanted to hear what it was like to be All Might’s girlfriend.

• It started out great! You and your boyfriend were having a lot of fun in the beginning, enjoying answering the reporters’ questions.

• “So what’s All Might like at home?” one reporter asked. It wasn’t a super invasive question, but still one that you had to be careful about answering.

• “He’s really great,” you responded. “He’s always helping me out with things. Even really simple things like laundry and cooking. Sometimes he’ll give me flowers or take me out on dates, and–”

• “I-I think that’s enough, ______,” All Might said with a nervous laugh. Since you said that he took you out on dates, the media would begin to question why they’d never seen you out together before. Then people could become suspicious and All Might really didn’t want that right now.

• You didn’t get this, though. Maybe you did, but that didn’t help the fact that he shut you down when you were trying to thank him for all of the wonderful things he’s done for you. You didn’t speak for the rest of the interview.

• After the interview was over, All Might knew he had to talk to you. He’d made you so upset, but he couldn’t address it just then. “______, listen, I–”

• “That’s enough, Toshinori,” you said, not daring to meet his eyes. “I don’t want to talk right now. I’ve obviously done too much of that during the interview, huh?”

• He frowned, seeing how sad you were. “I didn’t mean it like that. If I could have talk to you about it during the interview, I would have, but I–”

• “So all you care about is the interview now? Are you for real, Toshinori? Forget it, I don’t want to talk right now. You had your chance during the interview you care oh so much about, but you lost it.”

• There was a moment of silence. “I’m leaving,” you said after a while. “Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow, but I don’t know. I really hope you’re happy.”

• Toshinori had no idea what to say. There wasn’t anything that he could say; you’d already made up your mind. He could only watch in stunned silence as you shoved some of your belongings into a bag.

• “I’m going to my friend’s house. Don’t follow me, okay?” Why didn’t he say anything? Why couldn’t he say anything? As you shut the door behind you, Toshinori stood stunned, trying to process what just happened.

• He’d lost you. You left him and he wasn’t sure if you were coming back or not. He couldn’t call you or follow you because that would only make things worse. There was nothing he could do. And if there’s one thing the number one hero, All Might, hates, it’s feeling helpless.

• So he did the only thing he could do. He sank to the floor and cried.

Picture Me With You (Monsta X Changkyun)

Genre: Fluff I guess

Word Count: 806

_____________________________

“Changkyun, are you ready for the photo shoot with Y/N today?” Minhyuk joked elbowing him. Changkyun let out a quick chuckle and shook his head.

“Minhyuk stop messing with him we all know he will never be ready.” Kihyun said.

“Guys I’m begging you not to make this small crush obvious when we she gets here. We’re friends and I don’t want it to become awkward.”

“Don’t worry Changkyun, I don’t think Y/N takes half what we say seriously anyway.” Hyungwon reassured him.

“I hope not.” Changkyun said under his breath.

When you finally arrived all the boys were excited to see you. It had been a few months since you guys last each other. It was hard to keep up when you lived on the other side of the world, but thankfully you would be able to see each other for the next week.

An hour into the photo shoot you guys were finally taking a break before starting the couple photos. You and Jooheon sat across from each other talking and eating your food while the rest of the boys were somewhere else. You guys were talking about the next set of photos and who should go first.

“I don’t know Y/N I feel like you and Changkyun should go first. That would be a cute set of photos.”

“Jooheon, you know how I feel about Changkyun. I feel like I would freak out if we went first.”

“Y/N you’ll be fine. He’s gonna be just as nervous.”

“Hey guys,” Kihyun came and sat down with you. “what’s up?”

“We were talking about who should go first. I think Y/N and Changkyun should go first.”

Kihyun’s eyes lit up so fast when Jooheon said this. “I was thinking the same thing Jooheon. Changkyun, you and Y/N are going first!”

“Okay!” He yelled back.

“I really hate you guys right now.” You got up and walked back to set looking way too flustered to be in front of a camera.

“You guys are too stiff loosen up a little. Chankyun, it’s okay you can get closer.” The director said.

Changkyun looked at you for approval before he started putting his arm around you and bringing you closer like you were a real couple. After awhile the awkwardness in the air started to die down and you and Changkyun began to have more fun.

The last set of pictures were a little more romantic compared to the ones you guys were taking before. “Okay guys look at each other now and Changkyun wrap your arms around her waist and Y/N put your hands on his chest. Yes, like that.” The director was practically making you guys a full-on mess.

Being this close and looking him in the eyes like this was nerve wrecking. You could have sworn he looked just as nervous, but it passed fast when you felt him grip your waist tighter.

“OK guys your photos are gonna look great. You two were like a real couple up there.”

You guys stood there ignoring what he just said still looking into each other’s eyes. It felt so weird but good at the same time to be this close and almost intimate with one another. That moment ended quickly when Kihyun came to move you guys out of the way.

“Okay love birds I know the camera loved you, but it’s our turn now.” Kihyun joked.

Changkyun pulled you to the side. “Can we talk outside really quick?” He asked

You nodded and followed him out of the room.

“I…Y/N, I don’t know how to say this, but when we were doing that shoot and I was able to be so close to you made me feel happy and I’ve been wanting to tell you how I feel for months now, I just didn’t know how. It’s fine if you don’t feel the same, but you have to admit there was definitely a spark between us.” His words were rushed and he most definitely did not look ready for a response. You had to give him props though for trying to be confident.

“I’m so happy you said something because I don’t think I ever would have. I like you so much Changkyun. Being around you never fails to make me smile.”

The moment would have been very cute and romantic if it wasn’t for the yells coming from inside. Especially if the yells weren’t about you two. You guys walked back in and the yelling died down. It was quiet only for a few seconds before Minhyuk decided to say something.

“Finally, you two have accepted your love for each other. I will be the groom at your wedding and Hyungwon will be one of the bridesmaids.”

“No, no I won’t.” Hyungwon replied.

“We’re not getting married yet, calm down.”

“He said yet!” Minhyuk yelled.

_____________________________

I finally made a new fic! Irma was a real pain in the ass but I’m back now and trying to put out new stories you guys can enjoy. I’m working on other requests right now, but you can still put in more.

Dylan Strome - Pink Everywhere

Hi!! Can you do a cute Dylan Strome one where you guys are expecting/have the first strome girl in the whole fam.

Once everyone in the Strome household knew you and Dylan were having a baby they were beyond happy, but once you guys found out it was a girl there was more than just happiness. This would be the first girl in the Strome household beside you and his mom. This would be a Strome with the Strome DNA and that made everyone go nuts. So when you came home after a game to see your living room full of pink stuff you knew that Dylan’s mom and dad were here.

“Wow. I’ve never seen this much pink in one room before.” Dylan said looking around the room. 

“I can’t wait to see what happens when we have a boy.” You giggled while rubbing your swollen belly. 

“What’s this?” Dylan said holding up a pink swaddle cover in owls.

“It’s a baby swaddle. You wrap the baby in it.” You said while going back through the stuff.

“So it’s basically something to make a baby burrito?” He said smiling. 

“I guess you can say that, dork.” You laughed at your husband. “Aww Dylan look at these!” You said holding up some bottles with hockey puck print on them.

“Oh those are cute I think uncle Ryan got those.” He laughed at the Islanders logo on one of them. 

You both keep going through all the stuff for what seems like hours until you look at Dylan and tell him your going to bed. Just as your climbing in bed Dylan walks in with a oneis in his hand. 

“Hey baby, you okay?” You ask as he walks over to his side of the bed and lay his head on your lap. 

“I’m going to be a father. It hit’s me every once in a while, like really hits me that this is really happening. You and I we made a human. Us.” He said looking at the tiny oneis in his big hands. Looking closer you saw the words “I want to be just like my daddy.” It made you smile. 

You remember the moment you told Dylan about baby Strome, he was so happy all he could do was tell everyone he met. Within each month he became more and more happy and ready to be a dad. 

You leaned down and placed a kissed to Dylan’s temple. “Baby Strome is going to have the best daddy ever, and she is going to adore you if she is anything like her momma.” you joked. 

Dylan looked up with a smile. “ I love you. And I love you nugget.”

“We love you too.”

-Julianne 

Originally posted by lattsandhags

Just a little something…
@creepingsoul , @briefpaperexpert , @silver-twilight , @the-flightoficarus , @shit-i-forgot-bout-dat , @tonystarktogo , @susieeslei , @darkly-stark , @readingfanficsblog


It was five months. Five months of Brock being his boyfriend. In that time a lot had happened except one thing, they hadn’t had sex yet.

“Brock?”

“Hmm?” Said man was sipping his beer as one of the Die Hard movies played on the TV. They were in Tony’s apartment tonight, Jarvis sprawled on the cool hard wood floors, Brock in the corner of the couch, feet propped up. Tony sitting diagonal from his, cold toes wedged under Brock’s thigh, the hand that wasn’t holding his beer was rubbing along Tony’s calves.

“Are you gonna fuck me?” Brock’s how body lurched, choking on his sip of beer, his eyes watered up he was coughing so hard. So hard he missed Jarvis jump up and exit the room. “Shit, I’m sorry. It’s just. I wasn’t – I’m” Brock put a hand out, cutting off Tony’s nervous rambling.

He finally caught his breathe enough to speak, “You’re fine, just caught me off guard.” When Tony looked like he was going apologize again he grabbed the other’s knee and gave a gentle squeeze. “Hey stop that, I told you, you don’t have to apologize. Now, what’s brought this on.” Now that the topic was brought back up Tony blushed hot rod red.

“Well, uh…” His hands fiddled with his shirt and his eyes wouldn’t meet Brock’s. That wouldn’t do. He leaned forward and placed his beer on the coffee table and then turned so he was facing Tony on the couch. With some maneuvering he put his legs up on the couch and made sure Tony’s were out to the before pulling him closer into the V of his legs. Once he had Tony within arm’s length he kept him his arms around him and brought his feet in behind his back.

Tony was still stubbornly avoiding his eyes, even after all the manhandling. Head titled down, watching his hands fidget between them. So he kissed the forehead presented to him and then leaned his head down so their heads rested together and they both stared down at his hands. “Come on Tonio, talk to me.”

“I don’t get it, we’ve been together almost five months. I’m not complaining, I’m very happy and I really like you but I don’t get it. I just thought that we might have tried something by now, like we haven’t even really made out. Yes we kiss, and I love when you kiss me cause it’s different but you never push for more. Do you not want it, are you not attracted to me that way?”

“Hey. No. That is not it. At all. Don’t think that okay?” He waited, waited for the eyes to look up at him. It took a moment but Tony finally got enough courage to lock eyes with him before looking down again. Hand reaching out and tangling in the fabric of his shirt. “To be honest, I’ve never been in a relationship before, yes I’ve dated around but it was never anything serious, always casual, always sexual, and always over quickly. You’re different, and I don’t want the same thing with you. Do I want to have sex with you? Yes very much,” He stopped watching the blush grow behind a valley of freckles (god he loved those freckles) “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought of fucking that ass into the mattress,” The shiver that went through Tony’s body was very enticing to watch, “but you’re not like the others. I want to cuddle with you while we watch movies, listen to you talk about your day, take Jarvis for walks in the park. I want to do a lot of things with you that aren’t just sex, so much so that sometimes I forget it’s an option.”

Tony bit his lip, contemplating, “Can we explore that option?” Tony glanced up to see Brock’s real smile coming to play. His eyes struggled to take in all of the man’s features, his long nose, strong jaw covered stumble. Brock didn’t answer him verbally, just tilted his head until he could bring their mouths together, but that was all the answer Tony needed.

I think the saddest part of where I am in my life now, what I’m feeling, is that I know I’m better, but I’m still not okay.
I don’t think about hurting myself as much as I did 7 months ago. But I did today. I thought about it for a while. I was angry, I was boiling with frustration and hurt and it took every piece of me to not go directly to the desk drawer where I still hide my blades. Something held me back, maybe it was just my own conscious telling me I’d regret it later.
I’ve accepted the decisions people have made to hurt me. I’ve learned it wasn’t my fault they left how they did. Whether or not these people meant to hurt me, they did. The pain was deep, it absolutely consumed me, but simultaneously made me feel hollow. I went through waves of hurt and healing. It doesn’t hurt to talk about anymore. But sometimes a certain song comes on or I catch a breathe of nostalgia in a moment, and it stings. Just for a moment.
I hate the cluster fuck of words that spills out of my mouth when someone asks me how I’m doing. How am I doing, really? I reply with a combination of “fine”, “okay”, “alright”, and sometimes “good”. None of those say happy below the surface. I’m starting to think I forget what it means; happy.
I know I’ll get to that place one day. At the end of all of these back roads and alleyways in life, there are pit stops of happiness but also plenty of rough terrain. I just want to fucking get there. I’m sick of just having happy moments. I want to feel it wholeheartedly, purely, all over,

I want my happiness to radiate so brightly it can’t be ignored.

—  please let me get there soon
Where It All Begins {Finn Balor} (Part Four)

Finn, and I have been dating for three months now. Everything was going great. He is such a sweet, genuine person. He was a bit hesitant to show me what he does in his downtime. “Come on, babe. It can’t be that bad.” I comment, crossing my arms over my chest as I lean against his kitchen sink. “It is, (Y/N). I even out everything away before you came over the first time.” He says, fidgeting. “Finn, please just show me. I promise it can’t be as bad as you’re making it out to be. What? Do you collect dead bodies?” I ask jokingly. That earned a chuckle out of him. “No.. I’m just afraid you’ll leave me if I show you.” He says to me sadly. “Hey, everyone’s got flaws. I won’t leave you. Whatever it is, I promise you, Finn. It will not change the way I love you.” I say, kissing him softly. He nods, standing. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He says quietly. I nod, smiling. I sat in his seat, watching him pull a box down the hall. “This is it.” He sighs, turning away. I looked into the box to see a bunch of Lego models. “You build Legos?” I ask. “I know. It’s sad.” He says. “No it isn’t. Finn, why did you keep that from me? I think it’s cute. You’re a kid at heart. One of the main reasons why I love you so much. You always do cute things.” I say, staring into his eyes. “Really? Ya don’t think it’s creepy?” He asks me. “No. I actually want to help.. If that’s okay.” I say, biting my bottom lip as a massive smile forms on his face. s “I’m working on a pirate ship here!” He says excitedly as he pulls the partially done model out of the box. Watching him sit there, explaining to me where every piece goes with such joy just made so happy. Of all the people in the world, I get to share these small genuine moments with him. “I love you.” I say quietly. He places the piece he had in his hand onto the table gently. “You mean it?” “Yeah. I mean it.” I nod. “Good. Because I love you too.” He tells me, kissing my cheek quickly before going back to work. I couldn’t help but smile at him. I am one lucky woman. ———————————————————-

Originally posted by finnybalor

anonymous asked:

MILLIE! I have mixed feelings too! They all look so well and so happy in the VLive. They were laughing and teasing and I was so happy. Then I remember what happened and I get this like "???1!?!" feeling inside. But then again, I'm just so glad to hear from them (esp from Mandu, ohmygod). I also love that they all look great. I especially LOVE Sungjong's hair atm. He looks amazing. As always.

Yessss okay here are my observations from the VLive:

  • WOOHYUN LOOKS HEALTHY AND HAPPY he also moved slowly closer and closer to Sunggyu until he was basically in his lap, which like… same
  • Sungjong’s hair is so luscious and beautiful at the moment. When Woohyun was touching it I was super jealous ‘cause I wanna touch it too
  • Dongwoo eating the whole time made me hungry but also very happy
  • Sungyeol bigged up Golden Child and his brother, also he looked really tan and handsome and just goooood??
  • Myungsoo was quiet, but that’s not unusual. He did, however, join in with all the teasing and clapped like a seal
  • Sunggyu looked so good, I just ughhh what a gorgeous man

I did have mixed feelings, but overall I am just so happy to see the six (will this ever feel normal to say??!?!) of them together. And to hear that comeback stuff is happening, and to see that they all seem in a good, positive mood.

I love them all.

anonymous asked:

Could you write a scenario for Shouji and his crush who has to quirk to glow (any color) and when ever they're around Shouji, they glow really bright. Eventually finding out they like him?? Is that good for being specific, I'm not sure if it's too much?

it’s great love!! and this request is super adorable btw, tysm for sending it in!!!! ❤️

It was a sunny day, and Shouji and s/o had made plans to take a walk together. Nothing big, but still, even if it wasn’t easy to see, he was absolutely THRILLED. They met up at about sunset, and as always s/o looked breathtaking. They were also glowing a deep, bright red, but Shouji didn’t think much of it. They were usually glowing some shade of red or pink when he was around, and he’d assumed that was just their quirk’s default glow.

Few words were exchanged throughout the walk, but it was a comfortable silence. They didn’t need words to enjoy each other’s company, and besides, Shouji was more than happy to simply watch their gorgeous red glow fade into a beautiful pale pink. A ways into the walk though, s/o suddenly stopped.

“Oh… oh my god. Oh my god! Shouji, look look look! Look at this flower! It’s my favorite kind! I thought these kinds of flowers wouldn’t be in bloom for at LEAST another month, and—” as they continued talking enthusiastically, Shouji watched their glow go from pink to red again, now with hints of purple every here and there. He’d seen that before too, though on rarer occasions. Usually, it was when they got assigned projects together or made plans to go out for lunch.

“…your glow is very pretty.”

“What? O-oh! Thank you! It’s, um— I just really love these flowers, and I always glow like this when I’m really happy and see things I really love and stuff and um… yeah! I-I… didn’t realize you thought it looked good!” And for a moment, Shouji just took it at that, not thinking much of it at all until they were walking again and—

Wait— They… they like me?

anonymous asked:

Would you ever be comfortable with talking about identifying as male then to female? That would be really interesting

I have a little bit, but sure! I can definitely talk about it more :-)

So, I started identifying as male right before I turned 13 which was a couple years ago! People always told me I looked and acted like a boy when I was younger, and for some reason that was super fucking cool to me and made me SO happy. But then I guess it started making me feel bad because some girls were really mean about it and my parents started buying me really feminine clothes and I just wasn’t having any of it … so over the years I started randomly going up to strangers and friends and teachers and asked if I seemed like a boy or a girl ? Idk why I did that but at the time I think I really wanted to be a boy but I wanted reassurance that I actually seemed like one? If that make sense? So YEARS later when I found out that transgender people were like … a thing .. (cuz I literally had no idea they existed) … Everything suddenly made sense, and I identified as male :-) I threw out all my ‘girl’ clothes and I told my family, my friends, my teacher, kids at school, EVERYONE … and a lot of them were surprisingly supportive about it.

After a year or so I started dressing more feminine again because I was forcing myself to be masculine since that’s what I thought men had to dress like (which is not true at all). But, dressing masculine made me feel incredibly unattractive and depressed. But… so did dressing feminine! Because I felt like I was faking being trans since I was into more typical ‘girl’ stuff again. I was dating a gay trans boy at the time and felt like I was stuck because I knew if I identified as female again … he’d leave me. But … at the time they were also going through something similar, so it was extremely difficult for both of us and we finally broke up. After that, I really thought about my future. I thought about if I actually did want to go on T, if I did want to start going by she pronouns again, etc. and honestly, I’d never felt so uncomfortable and suicidal in my entire life. I felt so grossed out by myself because me forcing myself to dress masculine and being called ‘he’ just made me feel so BAD because I felt like since I had made such a big deal about wanting to be male, it wasn’t possible for me to go back as female. I thought people would get angry and irritated and tell me they KNEW that I was just ‘faking it’ or ‘going through a phase’ and it was fucking horrible.

But, after a few more months I suddenly changed my pronouns on here! It was a spur of the moment thing and made me feel really sick and scared and I was so nervous about what people would say, and… Everyone was so nice. SOOOO kind and unbelievingly sweet! A little after that I immediately became comfortable with myself again, I was so fucking confident and happy and  !! Ugh, it was great… so, that’s how that happened!

What I really wish I was told during that time and what I wish teenagers and just people in general would realize is that it’s okay to identify as whatever the fuck you want, and to change pronouns as fucking often as you want. It’s totally normal and okay to be one thing for a year, a month, a WEEK, and then go back to something else … It takes years for people to figure out who they are or just how to be comfortable with themselves and I really wish someone had just told me that switching pronouns was no big deal, because it really would’ve made me feel a lot better, yknow? But thankfully, I got through it ! :D And I’m super happy with the way things are now and that I got the opportunity to identify as other things and really figure myself out while also having an amazing supportive family :-) !