this moment broke my heart


The very moment Victor knew his world record would be broken broke my heart, and also made me realize what closure looks like. And I am choking up because Yuuri got to be there and see that moment, and the calm expression on Victor’s face (which could be either a happier or sadder emotion, based on our interpretation) that he didn’t want to disturb. 

Okay but Victor’s reaction to Yuuri saying he was alone at the banquet and that he couldn’t even talk to Victor broke my heart.

Sure it led to a hilarious moment and a plot twist, so to speak, but man I feel so sorry for Victor. This right here shows that Victor has spent the past 10 months or so believing, in earnest, that Yuuri remembered everything that happened that night. It explains the hurt look he gets when he offers Yuuri a photo and Yuuri just turns away and walks off. It explains the sad look when asked what he plans to do for the next season. It explains why he seized the opportunity to fly to Yuuri and why he used the excuse of wanting to be his coach. It explains the flirty touches and the desire to build up on their relationship. It explains a lot of his confusion when Yuuri is embarrassed or flustered. It adds a new light to that bit when Yuuri is skating his free program and Victor says something along the lines of, “This is the part that represents when I became your coach…it doesn’t look like you were very happy about it.” IT ALSO SHOWS WHY HE LOOKED A LITTLE SAD WHEN SAYING IT. Also, Victor’s reactions to Yuuri’s skating seem much more adoring now because of that. AND THE REASON VICTOR ASSIGNED EROS TO YUURI IS A LITTLE MORE CLEAR NOW. 


AND YUURI DOESN’T EVEN REMEMBER IT. Like Victor literally gave up everything to be with Yuuri and Yuuri doesn’t even remember asking. 


My friend recently had her first kiss.  When she called to tell me the news she said she hadn’t realized there could be “so many worlds to explore in a single mouth”.  She also said it in many ways reminded her of “eating something slimy.”   I smiled for a long time about that one.   A few days ago I was telling this same friend about something Frida Kahlo said before she died.   She said, “I hope the leaving is joyful, and I hope never to return.”  My friend asked me, “Do you think you want to return?”  As soon as she asked the question I started crying.  I thought about every year of my life, every hard fist of a moment, and it broke my heart to think I might not choose to come back.  For whatever reason, the days, they do not slow river into me.  They never have, and lately the moments have been especially rough.  Last week I said to a friend (not the kissing friend), “I wish I could take naps… life would be a whole lot easier if there were less of it.”    We both laughed.   Laughing is medicine.  I have a personality I developed whose only job is to laugh at the personality in me that’s depressed as hell.  I have another personality that screams at them both,  another that does nothing but bounce on a mini trampoline, and yet another that tries to make sense of it all via poems about the moon.  It is this final personality that in the end, thank god, always seems to win.  This personality says “Yes. Yes.  I think I do want to return.  Mostly for the kissing, for the slimy kissing, for the many worlded kissing, the only time I know for absolute certain I am not praying alone. “
—  Andrea Gibson

Sometimes I have the stupid idea of compiling a list of moments that fucked me up or left me speechless or broke my heart or all of the above, and then I get to item one -

- and, yeah. No way I’ll ever be able to finish this. Because item two would have to be -

- and then I’d have to stop and think, so, Cas learned how to wink from Dean, didn’t he, simply because he learned how to do everything by watching Dean, and if so, what would he make of it? He’d notice that Dean winks at everybody, men and women and people he wants to bed and people he’s trying to be friendly with and people he doesn’t care about but needs in some way, because that’s who Dean is and flirting is his default functioning mode. And I’m not sure that S9!Cas understood that a wink was bizarrely inappropriate - or, well: really meaningful - in that context, but endverse!Cas knows exactly what he’s doing, and the question is, was that wink a secret message between them, a quiet, Hey, or was it a We’re having an orgy, wanna join us babe? or maybe it was simply a Life, uh? This is all I’ve got now, and it’s decadent and unhealthy, but who the hell cares? This part’s actually great and this is the point where my path darkens, because how well does Dean remember endverse!Cas and does he think on some level that this is who Cas will become if he Falls, apocalypse or no apocalypse? Simply because Cas is used to absolutes and needs something bigger than himself to lose himself into and can’t stand to be alone inside his own mind for long periods of time and if so, is this why Dean’s trying so hard to keep Cas just as he is? Because if Cas’ still the BAMF, impatient, I don’t understand that reference seraph Dean first met in a warded barn, that means Cas’ okay, that Dean didn’t break him, and he can sleep a bit more easily because, yeah, it’s his fault his father’s dead and his mother walked away from him and his brother’s messed up and unhappy and alone because Dean failed him, but Cas - Cas is exactly that creature he was before he met me, okay, Cas’ not doing drugs and Cas’ not disillusioned and dented and shattered from the inside out like everything else I touch, Cas is -

(not mine)

- Cas is okay, and that’s the one thing I didn’t screw up, and thank God.

[gifs by @timetraveldean, here]


CS little moments appreciation [4/?]

Requested by @quirkykayleetam

It’s amazing how much is behind three little sentences. That entire scene was very strong, but I think my heart really broke at that moment (even more than on the I loved you) because at that point Hook felt that by using “tough love” approach, he made the DO angry. He spent decades evoking the darkest side of the DO, and there he was feeling that he was doing it again, in that case by rejecting the woman that he loves. He was so used to being the person the DO hated the most, that he actually thought she would punish him for his words like Rumple did for so long.

You also see him totally accepting it, accepting the sacrifice and price for trying to show her that she can’t have both. She can be the DO, or be with him. But not both. In a way, he was willing to make the same sacrifice he did in the past, and give up the Jolly once more in order to get her back, in order to save the woman he loves that he believed was so deep within her at this moment.

And as much as Hook’s face is breaking my heart, so does Emma’s. Because she knows what the Jolly means to him, and you can see how hurt she is by the fact that he actually thinks she would ever take it away from him. And from the wisdom of knowing the real story now, we also know that everything she did was in order to save him, and there he was, looking at her in the complete opposite way, thinking that she would want to avenge him for his rejection.

These last words “the ship’s yours”, coming to say how she respects his wishes, his individual life and possession, but as a CS shipper I couldn’t help but take these words in the fandom sense of the words. At that moment I felt like dark Emma was leaving Hook also to lead the CS ship, kind of like taking care of “the kids” while she’s away. Because she knew that as much as it was painful to hear, he was right, she was deceiving him there, even if for a good cause, she was more of the DO there than Emma, that is until she said these last words, that was the real her talking.   

Send me a CS little moment and I will add it to the appreciation list

The  CS little moments appreciation project

Let me pinpoint the moments my heart broke and ached

· when stiles didn’t tell Scott what he saw · when stiles fucking saw the wild Hunt · when Mrs.Martin forgot stiles · when liam Hayden mason and Corey forget him because hello liam is his child therefore by association so are the other three · when HIS DAD FORGOT HIM BUT HE CALLED HIM SON SO STILES HAD A LITTLE HOPE · when HE CALLED SCOTT AND SCOTT ASKED WHO IT WAS · when Lydia realized stiles was next · when STILES REALIZED LYDIA REMEMBERED HIM · when LYDIA HELD ON TO STILES FOR DEAR LIFE · when STILES GAVE HIS DAMN REMEMBER SPEECH · when THEY RIPPED STILES LITERALLY OUT OF LYDIA’S HAND · LYDIA FUCKING SAYING REMEMBER ME · NEXT WEEKS PROMO

Originally posted by sassmastersarahkv