this might be the single worst thing ever

major-trouble  asked:

You need to tell that story immediately.

The Colin Mochrie story? Gladly. This is a good story.

So I go to this college, and it can best be described as a little weird. It desperately wants to be Cambridge, but it’s not Cambridge, so it takes out its frustration with not being Cambridge on weird collective mockeries of Cambridge stuff. So far so good.

One of these weird mockeries is the debate club.

It’s hard to even properly call the Literary Institute a debate club - it is a club, and it does debates, but the debates are 100% stand-up comedy in a parliamentary format and the other half is bullshit pantomiming. For instance, every year at matriculation, the club drunkenly rushes the stage, interrupts the ceremony, and calls everyone in the audience a horse’s ass (occasionally while quoting Dune). It also puts on a yearly event called ‘Tuck-Ins’, in which people in the dorms can sign up (or sign their friends up) to have the entire LIT burst into their room, give them bedtime snacks, give them bedtime beer, sing some bedtime songs, and tell them a bedtime story. Except, the LIT never does anything seriously, so the bedtime song was always Barrett’s Privateers and the bedtime story was almost always something we called ‘The Rat Story’. Let me tell you about the Rat Story.

The Rat Story was a piece of… literature… that a LIT member dragged out of the dregs of the internet many years ago. Nobody knows where it came from, and my efforts to find it again were unsuccessful, but good lord, it was bad. It was a page-and-a-half-long Hermione/Wormtail (rat form) smut fic and it was awful. So awful. I’m cringing just thinking about it. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever read, and at this point I basically know it by heart. We read it aloud, from the poorly worded introduction to its horrible closing line (AND HE SCAMPERED AWAY WET! STUNNED! AND THRILLED!) dozens of times in a single night to unsuspecting students. It was an experience.

Now you might be wondering how Colin Mochrie fits into this.

So, one of the other things my college does powerfully and often is pretension. We are the most pretentious college you will ever see, and our college clubs are proof positive of this. Every year, various college clubs send out dozens of official-sounding letters inviting our various favourite well-known-people to attend our meagre college events (I, as president of the James Bond Society, personally invited Barack Obama, Sean Connery, and the Queen to our AGM). However, this year the Comedy Club was riding particularly high, and it sent out quasi-sincere invitations to speak to a variety of Canadian comedians.

And Colin Mochrie showed up, one fateful Tuck-Ins night.

He gave a talk, which was very good, but noticed as the talk finished that many students were rushing away to something in an awful hurry. We explained that it was the night of Tuck Ins, an important and sacred college tradition and that

We would be delighted if he would join us.

And that, my friends, is the story of how I found myself crammed in a dorm room with 20 other people, listening to Colin Mochrie describe Peter Pettigrew’s rat boner to a couple of second years who had no idea what they were getting into.

To everyone with an omo kink

I usually never post these kind of things, but because I’m terribly sick and I have loads of time to think about stuff, here goes

It is totally okay to have a pee kink

Honestly, I kinkshamed myself for years. For years I believed I was a freak, or that I liked something totally disgusting. Therefore I was disgusting.

NO.

It’s totally okay to like whatever it is that makes you feel good, in any way, sexual or not. If pee makes you feel all fuzzy and warm inside, then that’s a good thing, and nothing more. Not disgusting. Good.

AND TO ANYONE THINKING ABOUT CONFESSING THEIR OMO KINK TO SOMEONE


Do it. Don’t be afraid. I’ve told all my friends, I told my ex, I’ve told all the people wanting to get close to me.


And not a single one of them has ever said or done anything to hurt me. Sure, I’ve gotten a lot of “What? Uh…That’s…okayy???” but like, honestly, that’s about the worst thing I’ve heard. None of them started treating me differently. My best friend sends me piss memes now, and draws me omo, even though it’s not her thing.She’s amazing, and I love her. And she doesn’t hate me for what I am. None of my other friends do either.

The people around you might be more open minded and supportive than you think, just give them the chance to be.

And Don’t hold yourself back (that…was a bad pun) , because if they do start treating you like shit, they weren’t good friends to begin with.

Love yourself, love your kinks, cuddle the puddles and so on.

Just be you!

-Kacchan 💖

“How can I ever forget? Just because we aren’t what we used to be to each other doesn’t make the memories we made together worthless. How can I ever forget a single detail about you- you, whose arms comforted me in the worst of times and beside whom I once wished to spend all my best days. It must be ages ago but there was a time when I thought you were the best thing in my life. Everything you said and did is imprinted on my mind and it would take something infinitely more heart breaking than a break up to erase it. Don’t you see? We might have moved on with our lives but we left a piece of ourselves in each other. I might have given my all my love to another but still I wouldn’t be who I am without you in my life. All these years might have changed you but once with these fingers, I touched your soul and went to sleep listening the beats of your heart .And yet you ask if I remember…..”

~~an answer to “Oh! You still remember?”….
~~an answer to “ Why does your ex mean so much to you?”

7 Thoughts On Singleness: Is Something Wrong With Me?

Anonymous asked:

I’m 27 years old and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve only dated once but that didn’t go so well. I’ve prayed and I’ve prayed and I’ve asked God for my significant other but honestly sometimes I feel as if God doesn’t hear me. Which then causes my heart turmoil especially when I see other girls getting married and dating all the time. It just makes me feel like there is something wrong with me or I maybe I’m unworthy of someone else. I just really need some peace in this area or my life.

 

Hey dear sister, I know this is an especially painful season for you right now, but please allow me the grace to share a few thoughts with you.

 

1) Singleness is not a season of waiting.

I’ve said this before, but: You’re not waiting for a man.  A man is not the focal point of anything.  Jesus is the focal point of everything.

A Western culture indoctrinated in romanticism would lead us to believe that “singles” are simply biding their time, waiting for some significant other to save us from the throes of loneliness.  And I know that the latest pop song or chick flick or young adult novel has awakened some weird feelings in you, and it would even be nice to have someone. 

But relationships are hard work, celibacy is hard work, and life is hard work.  There’s really no such thing as waiting for a spouse: your life has launched into being, and there’s work to do.  If God is your priority, then a man who comes along who can even catch up to you would be dang lucky to have you. 

 

2) Singleness doesn’t define your value, ever.

What exactly is “singleness”?  I wish we would stop defining things by the absence of something else.  Being single doesn’t mean you’re somehow “incomplete” until someone else completes you.  Let’s pause to consider that even the idea of singleness is false at its best, and oppression at its worst.

In the first century, Apostle Paul wrote 1 Corinthians 7 specifically to address single people.  To paraphrase, he said, “If you want to get married, good.  If you want to stay single, good, and it could be better.” To you, this might sound ordinary.  But at the time, it was a loaded bombshell. This was actually an entirely revolutionary view of sexuality that had been previously unheard of.

During Paul’s life, the Emperor of the Roman Empire was actually charging a fee for the unmarried because it was considered bad for the economy and the family (never mind that Caesar was already bad for both).  Being married with a family was considered the gold status of society, and a single person could only have been a widow or prostitute; there was no middle ground.

So Paul comes along, and moved by the Spirit of God, completely wrecked the whole idea of family and marriage and singles.  He legitimized singleness as an absolutely acceptable life-choice, but more than that, said it can often be better for carrying out God’s mission on earth (1 Cor. 7:29-35).  Paul himself was single, which itself would’ve been quite a scandal.

 

3) Please don’t allow singleness to rush you into being not-single.

Take as long as it takes.  In the same passage (1 Cor. 7), Paul is urging us to not rush into relationships.  Not only is rushing this unwise because we could shortcut God’s growth in our lives, but we could end up getting into a string of bad relationships or making other poor judgment calls when we’re clouded by the impatience to be with someone. Again, relationships are hard work.  Pursuing anything goes beyond our idealistic hologram picture into a gritty, sweaty, pulsing reality that requires our everything.

God might or might not send someone to you tomorrow: but so long as you’re pursuing God, you might hardly notice.  That’s a good thing.  Find Christ, you find yourself, and maybe you’ll find someone else.

 

4) Your season of un-attached life, or the “gift of singleness,” is a unique season like no other.

There is a very particular way that God works through us when we’re not married or attached somehow, and it’s downright impossible for God to do those things any other way.  I’m not trying to diminish one status or the other, but there are pros and cons to both which cannot overlap.  I’m about to be married soon, but my married friend tells me the other day, “Use your remaining time wisely.  Have a lot of solitude.  Take long drives.  Read as much as you can.  Once you’re married, that’s it.  It’s good, but so is your time right now.”

 

5) It might simply be that others are intimidated by you.

It could just be that your godliness is thinning out the dating pool. That’s a good thing, too.

When I was single and I went after the lady who is my fiance now, I have to tell you that I was totally intimidated by her.  She was godly, she was a strong career woman, and she didn’t flirt back easily.  Compared to her, I was a scrub, and I knew I couldn’t really pursue her unless I got it together.  It could be very possible that other men see you as super-awesome, and as with most men, we’re just trying to get confident enough to make a move.

 

6) It’s okay for ladies to give a hint.

Do you see a dude you like? Ask him out for coffee.
Do you really, really want to meet someone?
It’s okay to be in situations where you meet people.
Are you kind of shy or new to the whole thing?
It’s okay to ask a friend for help. It’s okay to pray together.

 

7) Before relational intimacy with others, we first need relational intimacy with God.

My friend, again: I know this is a very tough time.  Anything I’ve stated here is not a magic formula or silver bullet that will suddenly wash away the nights alone.  I don’t mean to minimize anything you’re feeling, because I do believe most of us are called to be married, and singleness can be a tough time. 

So I want to encourage you to continue to seek after God and trust Him.  That’s probably the predicable pastor-ish thing to say, yet no one can give you the validation, affirmation, and approval that God gives you.  If we squeeze that from a spouse, we will crush them and crush ourselves. Before we can rightly estimate people in our lives, we must first hold an accurate picture of God and who He is, so that our foundation would be deepened to the very bottom of our roots. 

But more than simply seeing God as a vehicle to fill us, He is also the center of all things, the one who in Himself is worthy of all our affection.  He is the pure beauty we’ve been seeking in all our relational ties; He is the only love who knows us exactly as we are, the very depth of our ugliness, yet He continues to pursue us and press in.  I know that you know this.  Sometimes it feels like a pithy consolation prize, like “Yes I know God is God, but I want a date."  I just know that the more I press into Jesus, the more I understand that he became ugly so we might become beautiful, he was single his whole life and calls us his bride, he stayed on a cross to absorb all the ways we have failed: such a costly love puts all others in their place.  My situation might hurt me or maim me, and life is never easy, but we have one who stands with us always, who gives me a value and dignity apart from whatever I’m going through or have done, and in this, I am never truly alone.  Each day, even with my tiny frail faith, this is enough. Trust Him, bask in Him, know His glory. You are absolutely loved by Him, as if you were the only one that ever was.

"You are significant without a significant other.”

– Shauna Niequist

– J.S.

 

This post is now part of my book on dating here!

Angel! EXO react to falling for a human

a/n: omg this made me want to write more angel exo asdfghjkl. enjoy! ~juni

Xiumin:

Minseok would feel slightly panicked. It wasn’t the first time he’d felt love. Unlike most angels, he’s already been there. But this time, he was a protector. It was his job and he would be taking it very seriously. He would have already been part of your life, giving you a helping hand here and there. A schoolmate, a co-worker, an acquaintance you couldn’t seem to get to know enough, even if you tried. So realising he was starting to fall for you and want to get closer to you would be hard on him. He’d try in little ways. Talk to you more. Notice things he pretended not to see. He would generally be more present and even softer than before. Eventually, things would naturally develop and a relationship would blossom.

Luhan:

Luhan would be another with previous experience. He’d probably be the most experienced out of them all and recognise the signs early on. However, he wouldn’t act on them unless he was sure it was love and not just fondness over someone he was meant to look out for. He’d have positioned himself as a good friend already, so getting closer to you was natural. He’d be bold and open with his feelings, while keeping his job to watch over you completely separate. He’d be even more sensitive to you, as he begins to know you personally as well as your guardian and would be very attentive to everything.

Kris:

Yifan would be an angel that has already lost a lot. He’s not exactly on the verge of falling, but he would be close to being “tainted” by all the negativity he’s been through. So he would be cold and strict. He’d watch out for you, yes, but it wouldn’t be in a cute and fluffy way. He would probably position himself as a boss, co-worker or someone to whom you weren’t close. Falling in love would be his worst nightmare. He’d probably get even more distant for some time, fighting his own impulses with all his willpower. Having already faced this, he’d be very in control, but it’d make him suffer. Something would have to push him over the edge for him to ever act. For example, growing so distant from you that he might lose sight of you for good.

Suho:

Junmyeon would be an angel that positioned himself as someone quite close to you. A male friend you looked up to, a senior that looked out for you, something of the sort. He’d be very open with how much he cared for you well being and do his best to let you know you weren’t alone and had someone by your side. However, he is innately like this and tends to treat people with a lot of care, so falling for you would be a complete surprise. He wouldn’t know what to do and feel really guilty. Getting into that type of relationship with someone he is supposed to protect could end up hurting you and it was the opposite of what he wanted! He wouldn’t distance himself though and eventually explain the whole situation, apologising profusely for having fallen for you.

Lay:

Yixing wouldn’t be too surprised he fell for you. You were sweet and he felt a lot of care towards you from the start. He’d be pretty open about his feelings. As someone who had made sure he was a close friend of yours, he’d explain to you how he felt and not make it a big deal. He’d be really sweet about it too. “Aah, I couldn’t help but fall for you. You’re so kind and pretty.” I think he wouldn’t really get why it was a bad thing and would continue his job, working as hard as usual and being as kind as ever. It’d honestly be an unofficial relationship. He wouldn’t even realise it wasn’t official. He’d just help you tidy your room and fall asleep on your bed or bring you cake and watch movies.

Baekhyun:

Honestly, whether Baekhyun is actually an angel or just a devil that infiltrated heaven is really up for interpretation. He’d be by your side and he’d make you suffer, in the best of ways. He would make you laugh a lot but also fluster you a lot because he has that kind of power over people. Baekhyun falling for you would, however, be a surprise. Being a tease, he’d already be aware that you have a crush on him and exploit it to make his job easier. So admitting that he had fallen for you would be opening himself up for retaliation. But you would notice. He had trained you to be sharp and you would notice the little changes. And one day, “Aaah, but you liiiike me~” he’d tease, and you’d answer “But so do you.” And after the initial shock and obvious denial, things would go naturally.

Chen:

Jongdae be really flustered when he realises what’s happening to him. Little gestures you made towards him like touch his knee or stand close to him in a crowded bus would shake him up and he’d go from his usual, teasing self to silent Dae with his quick eye blink. Obviously, it wouldn’t take long to notice. It’s not that Jongdae is conflicted about breaking rules to date you. It’s more over that he’s never felt this way before and really has no clue how to properly act at first. However, this wouldn’t last too long and he’d get used to it for the most part and would start returning the favour by flustering you. It’d be a little game for a while. The can make the other the most flustered. Obviously, kissing works best and it’d eventually turn into that.

Chanyeol:

Chanyeol would be the ray of sunlight during your darkest days. He’d be that close guy friend that’s almost too close for you to be just friends, yet nothing would ever happen. At least at first. Until Sunshine got shy, realising you made his heart flutter, every day a little more. And he’d thumble around you, trying not to distance himself, but unsure what to do with those feelings. They weren’t allowed and he was worried he’d be reassigned someone else. But the bond between the two of you had become too strong for either of you to sever because of pesky feelings and he’d end up fessing up shyly, asking you to forgive him and explaining he never wanted to hurt you. Little puppy would be a bit lost and completely shocked when you returned his feelings and would honestly have to ask you. “Oh. Now what?” with a massive smile.

D.O:

Kyungsoo would be the most conflicted of them all. He’d want to do well and work hard. Stay professional. But dammit you’d make it hard. And you’d always end up pulling smiles out of him. You made him feel like more than a pawn in some heavenly plan and he was very devoted to protecting you. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from looking at you fondly, but for the longest time, he’d manage to hold off, no matter how close you got to breaking down that last barrier. He’d be very sweet and present by your side, so making the first step wouldn’t be too hard and he’d be relieved, immediately reciprocating. He would keep his ‘job’ and his affections for you separate and not be lenient just because he liked you.

Tao:

Zitao would be the quickest to tell you his feelings and acknowledge them. Emotional, passionate and fiery, those were probably the worst traits angels could ever have, and he embodied every single one of them. So he’d have no shame is flirting with you and expressing how he felt, the second he realised he liked you. Things would go pretty quickly with him. You liked him back? He was now your boyfriend, with eagle eyes, watching for anyone that might so much as touch you. He’d be grateful you helped him experience humanity at its fullest, as it was something he’d always been curious about. Even if he ended up being found out, he’d have no trouble leaving heaven for you and staying by your side.

Kai:

Jongin would be the silent onlooker, watching over you from a distance and taking care of things in the shadows. But he’d soon find himself insanely frustrated by his limited position and would seek to insert himself into your life in discreet ways. A regular and charming customer at the coffee shop you worked at, a friend of a friend that eventually started talking to you, someone close but distant. And then, he’d find himself wanting more. To really talk to you himself and spend time with you. Eventually, he’d ask you out on a date. And you’d go out a few times before he ended up admitting he’d had his eyes on you for a while and had liked you for quite some time.

Sehun:

Disobeying his higher ups was the plan. Actually falling for you was a bonus. They had stuck him with you against his wishes. Having a strong will for an angel, he didn’t even try doing his job at first. He was just your buddy. You hung out and that was it. Occasionally you’d find yourself being comforted by him, but it slowly became more. He started caring and his instincts were growing. He would become protective and actually start doing his job, suddenly afraid they’d take him away from it. However, the changes made you grow apart for a while, since you weren’t used to him acting that way. Things would become awkward until he’d admit to his feelings and apologise. Oh, and he wouldn’t try and hide your relationship after that. As long as he got the girl and got to be a brat, all was good.

anonymous asked:

I need to "talk" to someone who has had a SPNCon experience. I'm going to my first Con within the next year, and I'm already panicking about photo ops. I am plus sized and nowhere near pretty. I have convinced myself and truly believe that anyone I get photo ops with will smile and pretend like they're happy, when in reality they don't want to be anywhere near the far girl. I've already practically talked myself out of getting any photo ops and I still have months before my Con.

Ok so I’ve been sitting on this kind of all day since I read it debating how to answer it. I’m plus sized and nowhere near pretty so you’re knocking on the right door. I’ve been to 7 cons now and I’ve had tons of ops now, granted, I’ve lost quite a bit of weight between the first and the 7th and but I am NOWHERE near skinny or pretty. I got some pretty gross Tumblr hate about it when I posted an op on here at one point and that’s why I don’t post pics here anymore. I’ve had some pretty shitty ops that I’ve never posted anywhere, but I think that’s true for everyone regardless of how they feel about themselves. Sometimes you just take a shitty picture.

With that said, not once has anyone in the cast ever made me feel like they didn’t want to be near me, quite the opposite actually. The only place I’ve ever felt included or pretty or what have you is at pretty much every con I’ve ever been to. The cast are truly genuine, appreciative, inclusive, non judgmental people. 

My advice would be to get the ops that you want. Every single damn one. Because the absolute worst thing would be to regret it later and no get the opportunity again. If you hate them you can tuck them away somewhere and never look at them again but you just might really love them. You won’t know unless you do it though. 

How can I ever forget? Just because we aren’t what we used to be to each other doesn’t make the memories we made together worthless. How can I ever forget a single detail about you- you, whose arms comforted me in the worst of times and beside whom I once wished to spend all my best days. It must be ages ago but there was a time when I thought you were the best thing in my life. Everything you said and did is imprinted on my mind and it would take something infinitely more heart breaking than a break up to erase it. Don’t you see? We might have moved on with our lives but we left a piece of ourselves in each other. I might have given my all my love to another but still I wouldn’t be who I am without you in my life. All these years might have changed you but once with these fingers, I touched your soul and went to sleep listening the beats of your heart .And yet you ask if I remember…..
—  ~~an answer to “Oh! You still remember?”….
~~an answer to “ Why does your ex mean so much to you?”

“How can I ever forget? Just because we aren’t what we used to be to each other doesn’t make the memories we made together worthless. How can I ever forget a single detail about you- you, whose arms comforted me in the worst of times and beside whom I once wished to spend all my best days. It must be ages ago but there was a time when I thought you were the best thing in my life. Everything you said and did is imprinted on my mind and it would take something infinitely more heart breaking than a break up to erase it. Don’t you see? We might have moved on with our lives but we left a piece of ourselves in each other. I might have given my all my love to another but still I wouldn’t be who I am without you in my life. All these years might have changed you but once with these fingers, I touched your soul and went to sleep listening the beats of your heart .And yet you ask if I remember…..”

~~an answer to “Oh! You still remember?”….
~~an answer to “ Why does your ex mean so much to you?”

—  Oxymoronicsoul
Love her writing! Check it out guys, very relatable and very well written thoughts

Might as well get comfortable. Looks like we’re going to be here a while… What’s the single worst thing you’ve ever done?

Fuck off.

Is it arrogant of me to think you use that word more because of me? I mean, seems that way to me… But it’s not like I invented the word or anything. Any-fuck-fucking-fuckity-way… Come on. We’re killing time… Waiting for those things to be led away… Or for them to bust in here and fucking put us out of our fucking misery or whatever… So let’s kill some time. Worst thing you’ve ever done. Go.

It all kind of runs together at this point… Hard to narrow it down. It’s one solid block of bad all boiling down to one thing… The worst thing I ever did… Live. When so many others… Who should have… Didn’t.

Well, that’s… That’s… I hear that. So many fucking people… Fucking weak, fucking weak-ass fucking people. Crying. Scared. Doing every-fucking-thing in their power to get themselves killed. Spineless fucks cowering in fear until they were ripped to shreds. I was surrounded by them. Watched them all die… So many I lost fucking count. After a while… I just started seeing everyone like that. Hell, most everyone is like that. Dwight, those pussies at the gate – Fucking running in terror. I just lost all respect for the human race. Makes it really easy to bash a man’s brains in when you think it might save all his friends… Especially when you think the only way his friend can be tricked into living is if they’re made into slaves. You stop seeing people as humans after a while…

I’m not making fucking excuses. I know what I did was fucking fucked up one side and fucked right back down the other. You helped me see that. You helped me see another way. That’s why I sat in your cell. That’s why I brought you Alpha’s head. That’s why I just saved your fucking life. 

Worst thing I ever did was leave my wife to rot. I couldn’t do it, had someone else put her down. And why? I had some kind of compulsion at the time – the dead need to stay dead… Like she was in agony or some shit… Some kind of perversion of who she was… An abomination. Where did that come from? I had no – Still have no fucking clue what it’s like to be one of these undying fucks. Everything could taste like pumpkin pie, and it could be like a never-ending Neil Young concert in your head for all I know. Fucking light shows and shit. But no, she was put down, and I didn’t even see it. I even stayed in the area for weeks… Never went back to do the right thing. I just… I couldn’t see her like that again. I couldn’t put her in the ground – put her to rest. She’s a pile of dry bones rotting on a fucking floor… My wife… Because of me.

The worst thing ever is when you can feel someone important to you getting bored with you.

idk how long it’ll be til i de-register my business bc honestly this was the worst desicion ever and i had no part in making it?? i literally don’t gain a single thing from doing this ‘’’by the rules’’’ the only thing that happens is that i lose 60-70% of my income and i literally can’t afford to be alive lol. the only reason my mom did this is so she could brag about it to her friends and that’s literally it

to new writers:

My roommate and I were just talking about this, so I apologize, but I am going to go ahead and give out some UNSOLICITED ADVICE.

New writers (or old writers or any writers, really, but especially the new ones):

Please know that every. single. writer. in the history of time and space has, at MORE than one point, sat back, thought about what they just wrote, stared at the screen for a long time, and said to themselves:

Dear god above, This. Is. Stupid. 

Sometimes it comes early on. You’re only a couple thousand words in and you’re like: Wait, what is this? This will never work. Gotta scrap this one. No good. No, sir. Maybe my next idea will be better. I’ll move on to that. Or, no, no I’m never going to be a writer. I’ll leave it for someone else. I’m done.

Sometimes it comes in the middle, when you realize that you ARE in the middle and suddenly your beginning is horrifically boring and your ending doesn’t matter and holy shit, this is terrible. 

And, sometimes, it’s right at the end. When you’re almost done and it’s 24k and you’ve been nonstop writing for THREE DAYS (or worse, six months) and your hands literally hurt - like stabbing pains up your arms hurt - and you suddenly realize that this ENTIRE fic is the worst thing to ever happen to literature. It’s too long and too jumpy and switches styles at random and that is three days of your life you’re never going to get back. You look at it and think- what am i doing right now? 

Also, more bad news, this moment might happen MORE THAN ONCE. Hell, it might even happen when you’ve already posted it and people seem to like it.

I don’t know why this happens. But, rest assured, every single fic or story or poem or song, you are going to have this moment. And it’s going to seem like this is a clarifying moment. Like the rest of the time you’ve been kidding yourself and THIS is when you can finally see the truth. That you are not a good writer and this is not a good story and this is a waste of time.

Here is my message to you: THIS MOMENT IS NOT TRUE. It is not some secret you’ve been keeping from yourself. It is not your moment of clarity. It is not a divine message from above that you are wasting your time. IT IS NOT TRUE.

Don’t let it beat you. Don’t stop writing. Don’t be afraid to write. Don’t be afraid to post. Push forward and write what you love and your. work. is. not. stupid

Your. Work. Is. Not. Stupid.

It’s just a moment. And fuck that moment.

Get out there and write.

jakeyawakey  asked:

So I frequently see people talking about reasons why you shouldn't kill off a character, but I was wondering what good reasons are there for killing off a character, and how can I make their death meaningful?

  • They no longer serve a purpose. You can find this often in fantasy novels, where the protagonist usually has a mentor who often dies immediately after imparting meaningful lessons upon the young hero. 
  • It changes things. Where the characters may have done one thing while someone was alive, they will now do this other thing because they misinterpret the dead character’s wishes, want to honor/avenge the dead character, because they lack the dead character’s steadying hand/impulsiveness/trait, or basically act in a way that differs from how they would have acted with the character’s survival
  • Motivation. You want your character to do something. You’re fresh out of angsty teenage rebellion, out of the goodness of one’s heart is running low, and loyalty to the cause is in the red. There’s nothing like grief to spice things up.

“But clevergirl!” you cry, “These are the reasons you said we shouldn’t kill off characters for!”

Yes and no. You can kill off characters for these reasons but you must disguise the fact as best you can that you killed them off for these reasons. The character’s death shouldn’t come across as necessary for plot advancement. It should come across as a tragedy of the highest caliber. You’re writing from a character’s perspective. They don’t know that a character died because they outlived their usefulness. All they know is that their best friend is dead and they don’t know what to do with themselves.

To that end, here are some ways to make character death more meaningful:

  • Do it sparingly. I say sparingly within the context of the work. War, plague, or disaster novels might have people dying left and right, but secondary/main characters don’t die every other page. (Also, if you kill characters off too much, you risk desensitizing your readers to death.) If you’re writing about a softer topic, don’t murder the grandmother and the dad in one day.
  • Acknowledge the character’s existence. The dead character might have family or other friends who are also reacting to their death at the same time as the MC(s). The character’s absence should be noted in all aspects of their life, from the knitting club to the desk in the corner. The absence should have an impact on the proceedings of these aspects. The knitting club should disband without the dead character’s conciliatory influence. The desk in the corner should go unoccupied and is generally avoided for weeks.
  • Appropriate levels of grief. Another thing that annoyed me about the Inheritance Cycle was that Eragon bawled his eyes out when he had to kill some snakes and insects to gain their power. When actual people died, he shed “a single, shining tear”. Come on! Your characters don’t need to descend into a frenzy of grief for every dead character - indeed, they may feel happy or can only sympathize with people who were impacted worse by the sudden loss. Save the real grief for character deaths that really impact the MC. If there are multiple deaths, the MC should not react in the exact same way to all of them.
  • Emotions other than sadness. When one of my relatives died of terminal cancer, I was sad, but I was also relieved because they weren’t living in pain anymore. In the same way, a child might be happy their parent is dead so they can receive money they desperately need to pay off their debts, but still deeply mourn the parent’s passing. Some characters might feel anger or self-hatred if their actions led to the death. They might feel overwhelmed because of events other than the death or events stemming from the death. They might feel betrayed if the character died doing something stupid or contrary to orders. Grief is many emotions, of which sadness is one.
  • Grief is not overcome by a single reason/event/person. Probably the worst thing ever in the history of literature is the belief that romantic love will overcome anything. In this case, many grieving characters will soon find their emotions taking a backseat to their new love, who will teach them to find a middle ground. In an equally annoying and false trope, characters automatically find their grief satisfied when they avenge the dead character’s death by killing the character’s killer. NO. You don’t automatically get over someone with a new love or by satisfying some goal deep inside you. It takes time and a variety of factors, not just one.
Who to Love (Marshall Traver)

You didn’t understand why the world was so against you. You’d done everything right – you went through school, got a decent job, bought a nice apartment… But something, as with all the other winning streaks in your life, just had to go wrong.

And you must have totally fucked up this time – you must have cursed every single god known to man a thousand times over – because this was the worst thing that possibly could have happened.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t the worst thing that could happen and maybe you were being a bit dramatic. But it might as well be the end of the world now.

Everyone was born with this tattoo – a unique symbol that perfectly matched only one other person’s in the entire world. You were as excited as ever when you finally found your person after 24 years… Until you actually got to know him.

It wasn’t that Tyler wasn’t a good guy, he just…wasn’t who you imagined your soulmate would be. You always pictured someone strong and adventurous and not afraid of anything life had to throw at him.

But Tyler…

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vinbhass  asked:

I'm curious. What's the "satanism scare of the 80s and 90s" and the "political correctness craze" of the 90s?

Basically, in the late 1980’s - early 1990’s, there was a massive scare about sexual abuse in daycare centers, which also branched off into related concerns of Satanic ritual sacrifice of children (hell, the 80’s in general were rife with occurrences of mass hysteria).

The problem was that much of the testimony regarding these cases of “Satanic ritual abuse” was obtained through the use of a type of recollection therapy via hypnotism that has since been completely discredited (the same type of therapy widely believed to be at the root of many cases of alleged “alien abductions”), because it is actually more likely to implant false memories into the subject through suggestion. 

The launching point for the “Satanism” scare can be traced back to a book released in 1972 called The Satan Seller, by Mike Warnke.  Warnke had claimed to be the high priest in a Satanic coven, and the publication of his book basically caused the nation to view him as some sort of authority on anything regarding Satanism.  Well, as it turns out, the man was a total fraud.  Unfortunately, that didn’t stop the mass hysteria from continuing to build momentum, especially as other frauds like “Lauren Stratford” crawled out of the woodwork with similar claims.  Stratford played a large part in falsely linking the sexual abuse scare to Satanism by claiming that she was forced to sacrifice her own child in one of these rituals.

The nation was awash in a genuine mass hysteria.  Daytime talk shows dedicated entire episodes to “educating” people about the “dangers” of Satanism.

Others created videos about recognizing the “warning signs” of Satanic behavior–

–And there were even police training videos made to demonstrate the possible “signs” of a “Satanic” murder.

Heavy metal music came under a lot of blame for causing violent behavior in teenagers during this time period, including “Satanism” accusations brought against many popular musicians/groups, including KISS (parent groups insisted that the band’s name was an acronym for “Knights in Satan’s Service”), Ozzy Osbourne, and Alice Cooper.  The 80′s were a time of tremendous moral backlash at the behest of then-president Ronald Reagan, and there were even groups like the now-defunct Parents Music Resource Center (headed by Tipper Gore) that took to condemning these artists (the beloved Twisted Sister anthem “We’re Not Gonna Take It” is a direct response to this backlash).

In the end, not a single shred of evidence was ever produced to confirm any kind of wrongdoing due to “Satanism”.  It was all little more than the public imagination running wild, and concocting a worst-case scenario with no credibility behind it.

As for the “political correctness” of the 90′s, it was a movement that sought to create sugar-coated euphemisms for anything and everything that might be deemed “offensive”.  The thing was, they took it to a level of sheer madness.  Short people became “vertically challenged”.  A blind person magically became “visually challenged” (both of these sound like fuckin’ obstacle courses from Family Double Dare).  All this kind of extremism does is set back a lot of the progress that’s been made in changing outdated mindsets.

Here’s a quote from (of all people) Roger Ebert:

“Political correctness is the fascism of the 90’s.  It is this rigid feeling that you have to keep your ideas and your way of looking at things within very narrow boundaries, or else you’ll offend someone.

Certainly one of the purposes of journalism is to challenge just that way of thinking, and certainly one of the purposes of criticism is to break boundaries.  That’s also one of the purposes of art.”

This is coming from a man who sought to ban various horror films due to their content, and even he could see the damage being done by this line of thinking.

Things began going downhill when many of the minorities this language sought to “protect” found the new terms just as offensive as what they were trying to change.  Unfortunately for them, they were spoken over the top of, as if they couldn’t possibly think for themselves (as George Carlin once said in criticism of these PC crusaders, “Big daddy white boss knows best.”).  Much like how musicians lashed out against the censorship of their music, many high-profile comedians lashed out against this insane stranglehold on communication.  Yes, there are some words that are better off left in the dust of a bygone era, but there are others that are used by the people they are describing (i.e., “black” vs “African American”).  It was argued in some cases that their very identity was being erased by people that had no right to try to rename them.

“Its goals are all wrong. Political correctness doesn’t teach people to be mindful of problems in the way they think; it teaches them to avoid “offending people.  By focusing on hurt feelings, discomfort, or anger provoked in people instead of focusing on the moral transgression or underlying mistake, political correctness is discredited.  On the scale of societal importance, feelings are way lower than morals. ”

When it finally died down, the term “PC” became the butt of its own joke.  It was something to put behind us, and shake our heads at with a nostalgic chuckle.  I mean, have we all forgotten the fact that there was even a cult classic film lampooning this shit from 1994?

Now, many years later, this “politically correct” nonsense has reared its ugly head once again, long after it was spoofed, parodied, and buried as the big joke it truly was.  It takes a less-sinister form in notions such as “rape culture”, except that it operates with an intense level of aggression and hatred, and relies heavily on long-discredited lies in order to keep people ignorant, afraid, and under the spell of its madness.  Instead of coming from far-right conservatives, it’s now the lefty liberals that have created their own version of social and political censorship, and are abusing otherwise serious issues to try to legitimize it.  Thankfully, many people are seeing it for exactly what it is, and are reminding us to not go down that same path again.

This “social justice” lunacy will eventually go the same route, and be looked back on with embarrassment and disdain.  Hell, it’s already lost a great deal of support, and is quickly on its way out, especially with the revelation of situations like that of Joss Whedon, who has since come out to say that he had been receiving harrassment from so-called “feminists” on his Twitter long before the first Avengers film ever came out.  This is a man that openly supports Anita Sarkeesian, which just goes to show that these people really don’t care who they’re attacking, even if it’s one of their own.

They will tear themselves and each other apart until nothing is left.  Then the rest of us will bask in the silence.

#19 (Imagine) - Both in this

#19 from my au to-do list “i need to know were both in this”

*****

LIST HERE

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REQUEST ARE ALWAYS OPEN BABES (be sure to message me a #!)

******

Originally posted by influenzare

It was constant . Every single day , there was a new fight . It could be the littlest thing. From me having the television up too loud , to him not paying attention to the laundry . Just little things would strike an argument between us , but this one felt like the worst we’ve ever had .

“I hate you” I scream at him ,pushing at his chest with all my might .

It had been at least thirty minutes of constant yelling at eachother , him saying hurtful things that made my heart break repeatedly , and me hitting well below the belt with my words.

He didn’t say anything , just clenched his jaw and took my blows , but I wanted to hurt him . I wanted to hurt him like hes hurt me .

“I don’t know why I ever thought I loved you . You don’t deserve to be happy Justin , you deserve to be lonely forever” I shout venomously , and even im surprised at my hurtful words , but they were already said , and there was no taking them back , not after everything .

“Then why are you here Y/N? Why are you wasting your fucking time?” He spits back , grabbing my hands and pulling me close to him .

The tears are pouring out of my eyes at this point , at for one moment , I truly did hate him . I missed the way we used to be , before all the fighting , before the wall that was put between us for some reason .

I miss when we could just talk about anything , and cuddle , and he would randomly kiss me , making my heart lurch in my chest every single time .

I miss the way he would hold me close at night , as if afraid to lose me , and the way he woke me up with kisses .

But something has changed between us . I don’t know when it happened or why , but sometimes , I beg and pray to god that we can get back to that stage . That this is just a bump in the road, and that soon the road wont be bumpy anymore , that everything will get back to normal .

I couldn’t answer him . I couldn’t tell him all of that , because right now , he was hurt and angry , and he was going to use any of my vulnerability against me .

“I don’t know “ I sob , ripping my arms from his hold and turning around , completely and utterly defeated .

I give up . I was simply exhausted , and I didn’t want to scream anymore . He completely wrung me out from the inside out .

I silently walked up the stairs to our bedroom ,walking into the closet , and pulling out a duffle bag .

I set it on the bed before opening my underwear drawer , pulling out a handful of panties and bras and throwing them in the bag . I grabbed random things , too hollow inside to focus on what I was doing , and after closing the bag , I changed into some jeans and a sweatshirt , sliding on my keds and grabbing my duffle bag , car keys , and phone .

I slowly walked back down the stairs and set my duffle bag near the door .

Even though this relationship wasn’t healthy at all , I couldn’t leave like this .

“Im giving you one more chance” I tell Justin , who was now in the kitchen , his hands on the counter as he looked up at me .

“One more chance to fight for me , to tell me that we can work this out , that im not the only one in this . I need to know were both in this Justin” I say , my voice quivering.

“But if not , ill just walk out that door , and well be done. For good. No more fights , no more hurt , no more disappointment . Its not up to me anymore . Ive tried , now its your turn to try” I finish , letting out a deep breath .

I stood there , like a fucking idiot , counting to 60 in my head and hoping hed say something . Hoping he’d beg me to stay , and promise to be better . But he didn’t say a word .

I shook my he’d , fighting the tears welling up in my eyes as I said “ I hope you find the right woman for you Justin , because obviously it isn’t me .”

I quickly turned around and walked towards the door , wiping my eyes furiously as the tears fell , scolding myself for not waiting till I got outside to continue crying .

“Y/N” I hear behind me , and I stop abruptly , not daring to move .

“Im in this” He says , my heart is racing so fast I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack.

“I can be better. We can be better” He continues , his hand grabbing mine gently and turning me around .

“I love you. Please , don’t go” His voice cracks , and my heart warms slightly .

I raise my hand and gently cup his face , his eyes slightly puffy .

“Promise me well make this work” I say softly , and he nods quickly .

“I promise”


************************

THIS WAS SO SAD I CRY OLM IM SORRY

ALERT ALERT WHINY SOCIAL JUSTICE TALK ALERT ALERT

The most coherent criticism of this blog that we’ve received is that we’re being too picky. Black metal is supposed to be evil. It’s just a shirt. It’s just a lyric. It’s just a joke. By focusing on that, you miss the big picture. You’re being too sensitive. Stuff like that. 

The thing is, what you, personally, find nitpicky, other people might find very offensive. You might not care about something, that doesn’t mean it’s a non-issue. Looks little, but it’s part of a pattern, and it builds up, and it contributes to making metal an unsafe place. It’s not just the Neo-Nazis, guys. Pretending that’s the only problem is missing the point. Pretending that a single shitty thing said is THE WORST THING EVER is missing the point, but ignoring that single thing isn’t the best idea either.

Lady followers: how many times have you been groped or sexually touched against your will at a show? (For me, it’s at least five.) Everyone - how many times have you overheard the guy next to you in the pit call the guy who shoved him wrong a faggot? How many times has that been addressed to you? Not manly enough. Not feminine enough. Not enough, in some way. How many times have I gone with a black friend to a show and had some prick ask her, menacingly, “why the fuck are you here?” How many times have you been told to get out, or glared at, or laughed at, because you’re not white? Ever get dyke whispered at you for the rainbow bracelet and the girl on your arm? Listened to some sick riffs on a top-ten list and then the singer jars you out of your groove by talking about the Aryan struggle? 

People are shitty on their own, yeah, but metal can sometimes provide an environment where that shittiness is allowed to thrive, given a background and excuse, and that’s unacceptable. It builds up, you know? Everything builds and builds and builds. 

Your line might be different than my line, my line is probably different from a bunch of people’s lines. We’re laying all out so everyone can check how they feel. Nobody’s perfect. Listen to what you want. Look if you want, care if you want, adjust your spending habits if you want, or don’t. You think we’re missing the point or don’t have context for something, feel free to tell us. You think we’re being assholes and have a good reason, tell us. Use the ask box, or the submit box if you have something longer to say.

Metal is for everyone, all right. Be excellent to each other.

chaosandfiddlesticks-deactivate  asked:

Who are your favorite ships in Downton?

OKAY OKAY OKAY FRIEND ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE READY FOR THIS

*clears throat*

I’m going to start right away with zero hesitation and say that my favorite is Matthew and Mary. And, yes, before anyone says anything, it is (I almost said “was” but then I caught myself becAUSE NO I REFUSE TO BELIEVE) the most primary relationship on the whole show, the one that everyone likes, yada yada - but I truly, honestly, wholeheartedly adore it for reasons far beyond it just being there and being cute. My reasoning is this - their relationship is probably the single most healthy on-screen romantic relationship I have ever seen.

  • They, above all, treat each other as equals. From the get-go, they match each other in wit and cleverness. Both develop a (begrudging, at first - and on Mary’s part, at least) respect for each other that starts somewhere around the vicinity of their second meeting. Rocky start aside, they always, always sincerely speak and think highly of each other, whether it be in the privacy of their own thoughts or out loud - I think both of them have actually said out loud something along the lines of “I don’t deserve you”, which is interesting. They admire and respect each other an incredible amount, and it’s done in such a natural, organic, simple way - none of this hero-worship/kissing-the-ground-you-walk-on sort of nonesense that novels seem to promote? Like, for example, it could very easily be said that from maybe the second meeting Matthew is very clearly head over heels in love, but he is never blind to Mary’s faults. He embraces them and chooses to admire and respect her despite them (same goes for Mary with Matthew, though it took a bit longer for her to come to the same conclusions)
  • They’ve each seen the other at their worst - before they were married. something that I would never ever change about this relationship is the way it grows and changes and becomes so deep and touching over the very long time that they know each other. If they had gotten married straight off the bat, when Matthew first proposed, it would have been very different, and, while they may have been reasonably happy, the dynamic, the intimate way they know each other, truly know each other, that is present by the time the season 2 CS rolls around just wouldn’t be there. A friend of mine once told me that you should never decide to marry someone unless you’ve seen them and accepted them at their utter worst, and I agree. They argue constantly, even get into full blown fights several times, before either comes to their senses and decides it’s high time to get hitched – that means they’ve seen each other in miserable emotional states, they’ve hurt each other just enough to show that they’re capable of hurt but little enough that it can be forgiven and accepted – just – okay, arguing in relationships is a healthy thing, I think, as long as it doesn’t get abusive (which it definitely doesn’t here). If a relationship is all happy go lucky and sunshine and daisies, neither party will ever see the other at their worst. And then when they do see them at their worst, it’ll be too late and things might collapse. So THAT’S IMPORTANT. And in this particular case we’re not just talking arguing – Mary’s seen Matthew in what is probably the most vulnerable state he can be, when he’s laying broken on the hospital bed. That scene where she tells him about losing his legs and he apologizes for “blubbing” gets me every single time because it’s so dreadfully emotionally (not physically, though there is that whole thing about Mary helping Sybil undress him but I digress) intimate and private and you can see Mary’s heart breaking even as she smiles at him and tells him it’s perfectly alright to blub. And the whole business with Pamuk and how Mary finally tells him and he doesn’t truly judge her for it (and this is a whole other conversation because Matthew Crawley is so bloody important but let’s not get ahead of ourselves) – that’s Mary practically baring her soul and dissolving in front of him and okay yes basically before I start rambling they’ve both seen each other at their worst, emotionally and physically, and that’s important.
  • They embrace each other’s flaws while still being prepared to challenge the other on it – like, they don’t just blindly accept, you know? They call each other out on their bullshit, point out hypocrisy or rudeness or hurtful behavior and try to get around it and fix it. I think part of what comes out of knowing each other for like, ten goddamn years before getting married is that they’re well-acquainted with each other’s screw-ups. Notice that the tipping point in their relationship is when Mary finally Reveals The Thing and trusts Matthew fully with her Sordid Past (or whatever) and he doesn’t judge her for it – he asks her why, of course, and is shocked and hurt and all manner of other things, and doesn’t take it lying down – but in the end, he sticks by her despite it, and comforts her, and assures her that she doesn’t need his forgiveness, etc – like, that part where he says “stop joking about this when I’m trying to understand” is So Important because it shows that he’s willing to work with her on figuring things out and not just have an overtly emotional reaction and walk away, and/or immediately say “no it’s fine there’s nothing wrong in what you did”. Am I making any sense? Likewise, Mary approaches Matthew’s own self-condemnation with a similar air – she allows for the fact that he screwed up, agrees that he did wrong and everything, and allows for him to push her away. But she still sticks by him. She still stands up for him, defends him to Richard, seeks out his company, etc etc. She is there for him and gently poking and prodding until he is ready to accept his mistakes in a less self-deprecating fashion and sksdkfasd yes okay I just really like these nerds.
  • THEY ARE ALSO THE VERY BEST OF FRIENDS AND THIS MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH SWEETER AND NATURAL AND OKAY like the single most important thing in a romantic relationship is the fact that you are best friends with the other person, because being best friends means that you trust each other, that you are mutually supportive and co-dependent, that you are protective of each other, that you love each other, that you enjoy spending time with each other and have fun talking – there are so many things this entails, anD I JUST. Like, their playful friendly banter is nothing compared to those scenes in which they so obviously get each other on this whole other level and are constantly looking out for each other in the smallest of ways – and how they’re both so fiercely loyal and protective of each other, how the first time in the whole show that Mary very nearly starts crying in public is when she gets angry and defensive on Matthew’s behalf, how she prays for his safe return in her room and supports him throughout his injury and doesn’t let anyone stop her; how Matthew, the moment he realizes that Mary’s relationship with Richard is less than ideal, immediately assures her that she doesn’t have to marry anybody and that she can live at Downton comfortably as long as he’s alive – and it’s not done with ulterior motives, not done with the idea that “ditch Richard and come with me”, it’s purely out of concern and friendship and protectiveness and like it just makes me so happy and like, when he says, all the way at the beginning of season two, how “I’m sure I’ll like him once I get to know him – if he’s good to you, that is. If he isn’t, well, he’ll have to go through me” Just. I just. bYE. AND THE WAY THEY JOKE AND TEASE EACH OTHER and how they make each other laugh so easily and how very comfortable they are standing next to each other and talking and aaaaaaashfalskhflsdf.
  • THE LUCKY SOCK PUPPET LIKE DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT STUPID STUFFED DOG
  • As I said before, co-dependency and mutual support. They help each other grow and are constantly encouraging each other to better his/herself. This is … unspeakably important.
  • Above all else, how they so freely and honestly love each other. How Matthew grins so hugely at Mary and how Mary’s face lights up when he says something to tease her, how they have those stupid innuendo-laced conversations and how Matthew shows up at her door then night before their wedding to apologize, how even when they’re both engaged to other people they’re still sincerely happy for each other because all that matters is the other’s happiness and yes okay the bottom line is that this is my favorite ship in the entire show AND I AM SO UNSPEAKABLY ANGRY THAT DAN STEVENS LEFT sorry Dan Stevens I’m sure you’re a lovely person BUT I HATE YOU 

(I also enjoy Sybil and Tom because it wasn’t cliche at all when it could have very easily been and also they’re very cute)

anonymous asked:

winterfalcon - "Relax."?

“Relax.”

“I am relaxed,” Bucky spits out, flushing hot with embarrassment when he hears Sam stifle a snort behind him.

“I’m sorry,” Sam says. He doesn’t sound sorry at all. “It’s just, if you get any more tense you might snap in two.”

Bucky grits his teeth.

“Come on, Barnes,” Sam says. “You’re not gonna be able to convince me that having to share a single bed with me is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a close second.” 

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