this might be my favorite joke

creativebloon  asked:

How to make my day: *read SSLL end of chapter 17* (seriously is probably my favorite part so far. Wait. Axe kissing the Lady might top it XD)

“Red?” Your arm is shaking a little, and you hope he doesn’t notice; the question building in your chest makes you nervous.

“hmm?”

“Can you… start calling me sweetheart again?”

He’s silent for a moment, making you regret the query. But just as you’re trying to think of how to play it off as a joke, he chuckles lightly and squeezes your hand.

“sure. let’s stay like this a lil’ longer, ok… sweetheart?”

You smile, closing your eyes and letting your frazzled nerves finally relax.

“Okay.”

My feelings.  

I’m still hardcore shipping Red with every Reader of mine.  

So I learned my new favorite history fact in my AP US class today. It’s hilarious and goes a bit like this

In 1989, President Bush sent troops to Panama to capture the dictator and drug lord, Manuel Noriega. But Noriega had fled to (I had to look up the full name) the Apostolic Nunciature of the Holy See. The troops couldn’t exactly get in, so they surrounded the place and has to wait him out, or somehow force him out.
And it’s crazy how they did it.
The literal United States Navy SEALs did this
And it is real history

They blasted rock and roll music for days until he gave up

Apparently, Noriega only liked opera, so this annoyed him.
But it gets better.
The playlist was not only obnoxiously loud and obnoxiously American, it had a sense of irony.
Here are some highlights:

Danger Zone
Freedom Fighter
Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down
Give It Up
I Fought the Law and the Law Won
If I Had a Rocket Launcher
Nowhere to Run
Panama
Paranoid
Prisoner of Rock and Roll
Rock and a Hard Place
Stay Hungry
They’re Coming to Take Me Away
This Means War
Wanted Dead or Alive

And my personal favorite, and a thing that actually happened:
Never Gonna Give You Up

I just…
Imagine the board meeting
“Huh, how are we going to force this guy out of hiding?”
“Oh, I have an idea! Why don’t we blast loud rock music?”
“That just might work! And we should do it with a sense of irony, just to make it funnier!”

favorite parts of beauty and the beast:

  • “oh are you busy?” “No.”
  • the complete disdain for gaston as belle sings about being his wife
  • mrs potts explaining that there’s a reason the beast became the man he was, and a reason why the servants were punished
  • “i had a very expensive education”
  • “was that a joke? are you joking now?”
  • beast’s incredibly formal way of asking belle if she liked him, like for real imma use that on my crush. “i suppose its foolish to hope that one’s affections might be realized” i fucking love him.
  • the wardrobe dressing the three thugs and the one guy really feeling himself after
  • HIS FUCKING GROWL AT THE END
2

i did say i would do it, i just didn’t say it’d be mostly Bad Jokes. but this kid is too dorky and low-key relatable to not

where are the amajiki memes

Also: I feel like it’s perfectly reasonable that Amajiki would be a fav when Aizawa is a fav. The Tired and the Anxiety

8

get to know me meme: [4/?] favorite movies → me before you

live boldly, clark. push yourself. don’t settle. wear those stripy legs with pride, knowing you still have possibilities is a luxury, knowing i might have given them to you. this eased something for me. so, this is it. you are scored on my heart, clark. you have been the first day you walked in with your sweet smile and your ridiculous clothes and your bad jokes and your complete inability to ever hide a single thing you felt. don’t think of me too often, i don’t want you getting sad. just live well. just live. i’ll be walking beside you every step of the way. love, will.

random bios➳

Like the post and/or give credit to nddobrev on twitter.
De like no post e/ou de créditos para nddobrev no twitter. 

inglês/english 
  1. talents: sleeping 

  2. i didn’t choose the boob life, the boob life chose me.

  3. this semester isn’t done but i sure am 

  4. never tell a fangirl to calm down. it won’t work 

  5. i dont know whats emptier, my bank account or my love life 

  6. if you eat enough pizza it tastes like love 

  7. im 900% ready for summer vacation 

  8. please don’t waste good pizza on bad people 

  9. i just want to sleep forever because dealing with people is annoying as hell 

  10. 2010 me would literally be terrified of 2015 me and I love it 

  11. why be moody when u can shake dat booty am i right ladies 

  12. quick tip: fuck off 

  13. i wish i had dora’s parents they let that bitch go everywhere 

  14. never trust anyone who can bite an ice cream without flinching that shit’s not natural 

  15. i wish I had a pair of skinny genes 

  16. still not exactly sure what studying is 

  17. when I die, I want my grave to have free wifi so people will come visit more often 

  18. “don’t be sad” ok im better now thank u 

  19. my parents don’t realize that i am perfectly happy avoiding humanity 

  20. why are u such a little bitch 

  21. why is every girl my age 1000% prettier than me 

  22. love me back 

  23. everyone is stupid except me

  24. stu(dying) 

  25. if im weird around u that means im comfortable around u 

  26. ur a lil bitch 

  27. im always hungry 

  28. dont be a dick 

  29. i want to sleep for like 30 hours 

  30. i have too many shows to watch maybe i should drop out of school 

  31. i got 99 problems but I’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all 

  32. I’m so cute why am I not dating anyone 

  33. baby girl please don’t trust these fuckboys 

  34. wear black and be gold.

  35. you can tell a lot by listening to a girl’s favorite song 

  36. who needs april’s fools when ur life is a joke 

  37. sorry mom, i only have a virtual life

  38. sarcasm is my only defense 

  39. I think I might actually be dead

  40. i dont argue, i explain why im right 

  41. 50 shades of tired 

  42. just imagine how great life would be if pizza made u skinny 

  43. i say idk a lot but trust me i be knowing

  44. can u lose weight by running away from ur feelings 

  45. dropping out of school to become a princess

  46. apparently, when you treat people the same way they treat you they get offended 

  47. me and my mom gossip about u 

  48. 420% good vibes
português/portuguese
  1. miga não força

  2. sou meio vagabunda mas sou uma boa pessoa 

  3. prefiro morrer do que perder a vida

  4. meça suas intimidades parça

  5. sua mãe pode até te amar mas eu não

  6. miga deixa jesus fazer a obra na tua vida

  7. o twitter pergunta o que ta acontecendo eu começo chora 

  8. isso fofa come mais chocolate continua comendo vai explode logo

  9. seu cu agr é meu

  10. quero voltar pro útero da minha mãe

  11. (✿◠‿◠) minha cara de quem se importa

  12. olha só onde estou parece q o jogo mudou n é msm

  13. vc está louca querida 

  14. vai com calma viado a senhora tem um cu só

  15. olhando pro nada pensando deus me mata 

  16. toma aqui as vírgulas que eu não faço questão de usar ,,,,,,,, 

  17. vc já caga pelo cu não precisa cagar pela boca

  18. miga seje menas otaria 

  19. vc que me seguiu fofa agr aguenta

  20. meu sonho eh ser uma diva pop 

  21. vc atingiu 100% do seu limite diário de ser otaria

  22. sєjє мєησs ρυтα 

  23. a solidão me fez fã de series 

  24. 420% paz e amor

  25. lembre-se que: não sou obrigada a te seguir de volta

  26. bebendo as lagrimas das inimigas 

(◕‿◕✿) (✿◠‿◠)  *∘✧* ღ ♥ ♡ ❤ ❥ △ ∞ ☆ ★ ✖ 。®™✤ ❝❞✥ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✫ ✬ ✭ ✮ ✯ ✰ ✱ ✲ ✳ ❃ ❂ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷ ₪ ❃ ❂ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷ ☢ ✌ ♔ ∆ ∇ ☾ ☽ ♡  ☼  ☁ ▲ ▼ (◡‿◡✿)  ☩ ☨ ☦ ✞ ✛ ✜ ✝  ✄ † ✞ ✝ ⇦ ⇧ ⇨ ⇩ ← ↑ → ↓ ➳  ➴ ➵ ➶ ➷ ➸ ➹ ☯ ♠ Ω ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ ♡ ♦ ♢ ➀ ➁ ➂ ➃ ➄ ➅ ➆ ➇ ➈ ➉ ➊ ➋ ➌ ➍ ➎ ➏ ➐ ➑ ➒ ➓ ⊱✿◕‿◕✿⊰ ◑△◐ ◑▽◐ ☂ 《》 ▶◀ ℃ ℉

youtube

So this is one of those projects my friend and I have been working on for the past few months. We are both HUGE Zelda nerds and we really wanted to talk about this game with other Zelda fans.

However this is video I a little late in the game and its’ basically a personal critic video, so don’t take too seriously. lol 

We both put a lot of time into making this in between out jobs. Caleb did the scripting, voice work, and video editing where as I did some script editing and all the drawing frames.

He pretty much gave me free range of the images though, so there were quite a few pictures where I put a joke in. But the go by quick so you might be pausing a bit just to see them. tee hee

here are some of my favorites:


There were a lot more I wanted to add but this post is getting long.

Sorry, I’m just really proud of my dumb drawings.

Hope you liked the video!

and if you didn’t that’s kool too. :)

-Love Amos

Back At One (Lin-Manuel x Reader)

Summary: Your husband makes you slow dance to your song in the middle of a grocery store.

Word Count: 608

Warnings: So cheesy it hurts. Nothing other than that. Very, very cheesy is all. (you’ve been warned)

A/N: Don’t break my heart and tell me you’ve never listened to Back At One by Brian McKnight. If you did break my heart, you can mend it by listening to it for the first time right now - and if you decide that’s not really your thing it’s okay, I’ll let you in on a secret: I love you anyways.
______________________________

“Anyways, so I told her-” 

“Shh!” Lin interrupted you and your eyes flashed to his, your utter annoyance unmasked in them.

“It’s not like I was-” you started when you felt Lin’s finger against your lips as his eyes were squinted in focus. You sighed dramatically, moving to take over the shopping cart so your husband could explore whatever new idea had popped into his head without crashing into a display. His hand flashed to intercept yours though and pulled you towards him, positioning one of your hands in his and the other on his shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“Listen,” Lin murmured, his eyes moving upwards to indicate he meant for you to pay attention to whatever was playing from the speaker on the ceiling. You had yet to identify the song from the few opening words that had been sung. “It’s our song.”

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a list of running gags in fullmetal alchemist that will never not be hilarious

- creative excuses as to why alphonse is always in a suit of armor
- “edward drink your milk” “BUT I HATE MILK!!”
- fight me the ed being short jokes will always be funny
- bonus: “maybe if you drink your milk you’ll get taller!!” [insert Ed’s Anger Rampage™]
- roy being useless when it’s raining
- someone transmutating a spear and it being broken almost immediately
- ed doing really Extra things whenever someone so much as implies he might have a crush on winry, my personal favorite being reciting the entire periodic table
- “ed don’t ruin ur automail this time” [immediately proceeds to ruin his automail]

2

It’s Spider-man’s premiere. Tom’s smiling for the cameras and waving at fans and interviewers.

He’s walking on the red carpet when an interviewer from E! News approaches him

“Hi Tom! How are you tonight?”

“Hey, how are you? I’m fine, thanks”

“There’s a lot of people here tonight, are you excited about seeing your movie for the first time?” She asks, bringing the microphone closer to him

“I am, yes, I’m a bit nervous though because there’s a lot of important people from the industry here, like… Cate Blanchett is here, so are Matt Damon, Kate Winslet… They’re all incredible actors and they’re going to be seeing my work today so I’m kinda freaking out about it” he laughs, taking a deep breath after saying the whole thing without a pause.

“I saw Y/N earlier at the red carpet, have you met her?

He blinked at the interviewer for a few seconds, processing what he just heard

“Sorry, who?”

“Y/N… You know, from the X-men movies” She said, almost believing he didn’t know who you were

“Oh my god. Oh my god oh my god oh my god” He started running his hands trough his hair histerically, giving little jumps on his spot “I’m sorry, it’s just.. Oh my god! Is Y/N really here? I can’t believe it!” He said, covering his mouth with his hands and waiting for the interviewer to tell him she wasn’t joking

“Yes, she said she was really excited about watching the movie because spiderman is her favorite superhero. And I’m starting to think you might be excited too about seeing her?” She teased him

“Oh dear god you have no idea! I’m a huge fan, I’ve been following her carreer since she started, she’s an amazing actress and I want to work with her one day, and befriend her and marry her” he blushed because he didn’t mean to say that last part. It was a joke he had with his friends and now it had slipped out on in international television, making him look like a weirdo.

He heard laughing from behind him and turned around, his heart stopping at the sight of you there, standing in a red dress, smiling at him. You had heard him

“Well, I’ll give you my answer depending on if you do my favorite hero justice”. Tom turned an even darker, brighter shade of red, if that was possible.

Shiro is a Giant Nerd™ Headcanons
  • his ringtone is the x-files theme
  • he has a german shepard named Michelangelo he named her after his favorite ninja turtle. he was 11 and didn’t care if he was supposed to give her a “girl” name 
  • he forgets to put the butter back in the refrigerator after making toast and when he finally remembers 7 hours later it’s all melted. it happens every time
  • he has a pile of clothes just laying on his bedroom floor. they’re clean he just can’t be bothered to fold them. he has a dresser and a closet too yet he only ever picks from the clothes on the floor 
  • “shiro have you eaten?” “yea” “three cups of coffee and a string cheese is not a meal” 
  • he’s a teacher (at the garrison or in a modern no end of the universe AU) 
    • i’m guessing he might’ve been a flight instructor at the garrison
    • in a modern AU he’d be a high school astronomy teacher 
  • since he’s working on a teacher’s salary he has to watch how he spends his money but he will spend $20 on a pack of nice pens in a heartbeat 
  • he’s usually very punctual but the few times he happens to come in late his excuse is always “time isn’t real” 
  • this scene from brooklyn 99 except with his class 
  • he has posters of favorite bands/shows up all around his house 
    • “aren’t you a little old for this?” “you comE into MY HOUSE
  • sometimes when he answers a student’s question before he explains the answer he’ll say “SCULLY YOU’RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS” 
  • he loves his students so much. he makes cheesy jokes about each of them being a star 
  • at the garrison:
    • right before his mission to kerberos a whole bunch of current and former students decided to throw him a going away party. there were lots of hugs and tears
    • “when i come back some of you might be pilots by then!” 

aaaaaaaaaand that’s it for now. to be continued…

Bloody Mikaelson’s - Kol x Reader

Originally posted by lovekolmikaelsonstuff

Pairing: Kol x Reader

Prompt: Kol is jealous about you being affectionate with everyone but him. He decides to tag along when you go shopping to try and get you to like him more. Fluff and confessions ensue!

Warning: Smut (?)

ENJOY!!

****

You sat down next to Niklaus on the sleek leather couch, phone in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. As you lent against him, his arm automatically wrapped around your shoulders. You and Klaus were best friends, the kinda of friends that spoon at night and talk about relationship problems. You sighed contently as you sipped your coffee. Despite his psychotic tendencies Niklaus was the biggest cuddle whore ever.

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REIVEW #1: OVERWATCH

hey guys its ya girl sara and for my first review i will be reviewing everyone’s favorite new guns game about killing your friends called Over Watch

over watched is a hot new video game made by blizzard inc. about watching over your friends to make sure they dont die as well as watching over your enemies to make sure that they do die. its a personal view gun shooter with guns and shooting. there are many cool, fun, and goofy characters who love to kill and also to have fun and the game is neat and good to play if you are person who loves to die and not die.

graphics: you look at the pictures in this game and think “hey this is very good”. it is smooth and everyone has a face and you can see all of the guns very clearly. its very pretty-looking.

gaming: this is a fun game to play but is also hard. you are going to die and its best to accept that. i often bring my rosary to recite hail marys while i wait for it to load. because i am going to die lots and i seek forgiveness. there are lots of guns to shoot with and they all do something different. the levels are big and good. the game is fun, though it might not be as fun as my favorite game, ecco the dolphin

characters: this is the best part of the hot new videogae ovenwatch in my opininion. they are all nice and sweet and have a lot to say. some of them are mean but it’s ok because they are made up and not real. here’s some of the characters now

this one is called tracy. she is a time traveler. tracy likes to play future video games and eat pizzas. she is a good character.

i think this guy is named….. joke rat? i think he is joke rat. as you can see he has a big gun and wears sun glasses everywhere he goes. he is cool and like to tell jokes but he also made me die many times.

winston! here’s the big ape man everybody is talking about. he loves to eat bananas and shoots coconuts at the enemies to bonk their heads good. i especially love it when he shouts “ook! its your friend and monkey, winston!”

this is is the revolting and mean gun man who is made entirely of guns called Bastard. he shoots and it is all he knows. god has forsaken him and his inventor was excommunicated from the catholic faith. which is good because he is very mean and from hell and he laughs at you when you are dead.

and then this one is named mccreed. a cowboy. i think this is the wrong pic but it might be the horse he rides in on at the start of every round after saying “howdy partners, bum me a smoke?”

music and sound: i didn’t hear any so i can’t say anything about that. it was just “boom!” and “bang! bang!” which is very exciting but then i took the headphones off to listen to the clean sounds of my favorite baroque composer, George Frideric Handel.

overall: overwanch is a really fun game that is exciting to play and makes you learn valuable lessons about friendship, guns, and having a talking ape as a friend. i wish there was a dolphin hero in this game like the dolphin hero of my favorite videogame, ecco the dolphin. maybe if i write to the game makers about it they will add ecco the dolphin to the game. a girl can only hope. i recommend overwatch to anyone who likes guns, being a girl, or losing but sometimes winning. thank you


FINAL RATING 8.4/10

Birthday Games

Summary: You try to get Gabriel to play some drinking games for your birthday but things don’t go quite as expected.

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Word Count: 6696

Warnings/Tags: smut, swearing, drinking games, intoxication (reader and Gabriel), stripping, oral sex (female receiving), fingering, grace kink, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, perfect body Gabe, a touch of possessive Gabe, fluff  

Author’s Note: Written for @bloodstained-porcelain-doll‘s #Challenge of Raven My prompts were:  “Loser does a striptease!”, Gabriel, and smut.  All tags are at the end.  

Special thanks to @sumara62​ who does such a fantastic job as my beta.  This wouldn’t be what it is without you. 

Originally posted by castiel-left-his-mark-on-me


“How is this supposed to be celebrating again?” Gabriel asked.  

Sam and Dean had forgotten it was your birthday again, heading in the opposite direction to visit Garth rather than returning from their latest hunt to celebrate.  As unashamed as you were about your drinking habits, you drew the line at getting drunk by yourself.  Doing it with a bunch of strangers wasn’t appealing either, which left your options pretty limited until Gabriel happened to pop in to drop off some birthday cookies.  

It had been a pleasant surprise to say the least, and once he was there you weren’t about to let the opportunity go to waste.

“I like drinking games,” you reminded him, your words taking on the slow drawl you got right before you hit the tipping point between tipsy and completely hammered.

“Ok, princess,” sarcasm rippled through tonight’s nickname he’d bestowed upon you, all because you insisted on having fun your way, “But these are all boring.”

One hand came up, toying with the neon pink umbrella decorating his glass, but it was the other hand out of your sight that had you worried.  You could feel the hum of his energy rise behind you, fingertips drifting idly across the top of your chair, brushing you in the process.  

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Imagine admitting you want to marry Chris while you’re drunk.

You tumbled out of the cab and stumbled up the driveway of your boyfriend, Chris’ house. It was 2:18AM and you had just finished up at your co-worker’s bachelorette’s party, a party where you got ridiculously wasted. The original plan was for you to spend the night at your own apartment- as it was closer to the bar you were at- but after the third round of tequila shots, your urge to see the ever-so-handsome Captain America had you arriving at his doorstep instead.

You pulled out your keys and fumbled with the lock for a while before you finally opened the door. The noise drew the attention of Dodger who was now on alert and ready to pounce on the intruder. He barked once then stopped when he saw that it was you, he padded towards you and nudged his head into your hand when you reached down to pat him. You struggled to get your heels off and winced when your keys and box clutch clashed against the hardwood floor.

“Shhhh!” You told Dodger and pressed your finger to your lips, trying not to giggle. “The fossil is asleep upstairs, we can’t afford to wake him up.” Dodger tilted his head in confusion. “I could use some Fruit Loops.” You said to no one in particular and made your way to the kitchen. “Dodger, do-” You glanced back and realized the pup had made his way upstairs. “I’ll take that as a no.”

Chris was aroused from his sleep thanks to the noises you were making downstairs. He turned on his bedside lamp and glanced at the clock, wincing at the bright light; 2:23AM. He could hear Dodger scratching at his door but it was only when he heard a loud crash that he scrambled out of bed. He opened the door and Dodger barked at him before racing downstairs. Chris followed him and caught sight of your keys, heels, and clutch making a trail towards the kitchen; the only room with some of its lights on. He entered to find you trying to pick up the broken pieces of your favorite Captain America drinking glass.

“Dodger, stay.” Chris instructed him when he saw him start towards you; you looked up at them, eyes wide like a deer in the headlines. “Don’t move, Y/N.” Chris instructed you but you moved anyway. “Y/N, just- stay.” He spoke to you like he would to Dodger and you stilled. “What are you even doing here? I thought you said you were going home.”

“I thought you said this is my home.”

“I see you had a great time at Carly’s party.” He commented with a light chuckle and you nodded with a wide grin. “Hold up.” He said and reached for the light switch and turned on all the lights in the kitchen so he could have a better view of where not to step. “C'mere.”

“But you told me not to move,” you pouted like a child.

“God, you’re wasted.” He chuckled; he could smell the alcohol on you as he scooped you up off the ground. “Okay, lemme see.” He sat you down on the kitchen bench and took your hands in his so he could examined them for cuts. “Did you cut yourself?” He asked when he couldn’t find any. “Hey,” he cupped your face in his hands, “are you hurt?”

“I missed you tonight.” You told him and wrapped your arms around his neck; he chuckled softly and hugged you back, kissing the side of your head. “I wish you could’ve been there with me, it would have been a lot more fun.”

“I wish I could’ve been there with you too.” He agreed and pulled back, brushing your hair out of your face. “So I could’ve kept an eye on you and made sure you didn’t get totally hammered,” he chuckled. “I’m honestly surprised you found your way back here.”

“I can always find my way back to you, Cap.” You smiled and poked his cheek, drawing another chuckle from him. He always found drunk you incredibly amusing; it wasn’t a side he saw often as you weren’t one of those girls who partied all the time, but let’s just say that when he did- he made sure to enjoy every second of it. “I want some Fruit Loops, do you have any?” You tried to hop off the bench but he used his body to lock you into place. “What are you doing? I want Fruit Loops.”

“The last thing you need is sugar,” he said then chuckled when you pouted adorably. “Right now, you need Advil, lots of water, and- sleep. Stay up here, okay? I don’t need you cutting yourself.” You scrunched your nose and nodded. “I’m going to sweep up this mess first.”

He left you there and walked to the broom closet to grab the broom and dustpan. “Hey Chris?” He heard you call out to him from the kitchen. “Can I have my water in that glass I like?” You asked as he walked back in. “You know, that Captain America glass from Stan Lee’s team.”

“Yeah um-” He chuckled and lowered his gaze onto the said glass that was shattered on the ground. “I don’t think you can ever drink water from that glass again. Considering you broke said glass,” he reminded you and your face fell. “Exactly how much did you drink?” He squatted on the ground and swept up the glass that was fortunately empty when you dropped it.

“Lots,” you responded simply and he chuckled with a shake of his head. “Hey, where’s my phone?”

“You left it in the hallway,” he answered and you hopped off the counter. “Uh uh-” he held up a finger at you and you climbed back on the counter. “I’ll get it for you, just stay there please. You are in no state to be maneuvering around, I don’t need you to break anything else tonight.”

“What did I break?” You asked, completely forgetting about the glass you’d dropped earlier tonight.

“You are ridiculous,” he chuckled. “Just stay there.” He dumped the swept up shards into the bin then walked out into the hallway to get your clutch. He picked it up off the ground then fished out your phone and saw a text notification from your best friend, Luca, that was addressed to him.

“Hey, Chris.
Did she make it to yours okay?”

Chris responded with a quick “yeah, I’ve got her.” With your phone in his hand, he placed your clutch on the table then made his way back into the kitchen. “What are you doing?” He stood in the archway and chuckled at you; you had stripped off your red dress and was now sitting on the bench top in just your bra and panties. “Aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes?” He teased you as he walked over.

“Just out of curiosity.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as he pushed himself in between your legs and placing your phone down on the counter and his hands on your waist. “Are you going to marry me?” Your question surprised him, but made him smile nonetheless; your drunk mind was speaking for your sober heart.

“Are you going to remember this in the morning?” He asked and you thought about it for a while then nodded your head. “Yeah, I don’t think so.” He chuckled softly, rubbing small circles into your skin. “Well, since you won’t remember this- I might as well be honest with you.” You raised your eyebrows, waiting for his answer. “I am definitely going to marry you. I’ve been thinking about it since our first date, I’ve just- been waiting for the right time to ask. We’re both busy people, I want the proposal and the wedding at a time that works for the both of us.”

“Have you thought about how you’re going to propose?”

“I have,” he nodded, “numerous times. My favorite is still the cliché of taking you to a holiday cabin, cooking you dinner, and putting the ring in your dessert. I’m just a little afraid you might swallow the ring whole,” he joked and poked your side, causing you to giggle. “Why so curious? Are you afraid I wasn’t going to marry you?”

“Well- if I’m being completely honest, I guess I was a little afraid you didn’t want to marry me because I wasn’t sure about having kids.” His face fell slightly; he was a little upset with himself that he made you feel that way. “I know you like children and that they are an important part of your life plan, so yeah- I was a little afraid I wasn’t enough.”

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” he kissed your forehead. “You are enough, Y/N. You have no idea how much you mean to me,” he told you. “All I want is you, you are the most important part of my life plan.”

“And you’re the most important part of mine, which is why I’d gladly have children for you.” You told him for the first time in three years and he felt his heart skip a beat. “I tell people I don’t want kids because it seems scary, but with you- it doesn’t seem as scary.”

“This is by far my favorite drunk Y/N moment,” he told you with a wide smile. “Thank you for telling me that,” he gently pinched your chin between his thumb and index finger, brushing your pink lips with his thumb. “You won’t remember this but at least I know where you stand. Like you say, drunk minds speak for a sober heart.”

“I’ll remember this,” you nodded. “Give me a pen and I’ll write it on my hand.”

“No,” he chuckled with a shake of his head. “I would prefer you not to remember this ‘cause I would like the element of surprise when I propose to you. Now c'mon,” he lifted you off the bench and plopped you onto your feet. “Let’s get you an Advil and put you to bed.”

“Chris?” You grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards you when he tried to walk to the pantry to get the medicine box. “I think I’m in-love with you.” You told him and he nodded in acknowledgement, chuckling. “No, I’m serious.”

“We’ve been dating for three years and you just told me you’d have kids for me, I think I already know that.” He caressed your face and kissed your forehead. “Do you want to make any other shocking announcements? ‘Cause I really need to get you that Advil and put you to bed otherwise you’re going to be having one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

“No,” you shook your head, letting go of his hand. “That’s the only one.” You said then grinned which made him laugh. “Can we have pancakes in the morning?” You asked as he grabbed a sachet of Advil from the box.

“You can have anything you want,” he nodded. “Take this,” he popped two pills out of the sachet and passed it to you. “Let me get you some water.” He grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with the filter tap water. “Here,” he passed it to you with the instruction, “down the pills then drink it all. I don’t want to see a drop of it left in the glass.”

“You got it, Captain.” You saluted him then proceeded to do as he instructed.

“You’re going to have a lot of fun tomorrow morning,” he chuckled and kissed the top of your head.

What do we think, part 2?

Here’s my mini-series Masterlist.

Back to the Fire

Cinders was a transfer to Elsewhere University, a young upstart from somewhere he refused to disclose. He practically lived in the Engineering Hall, English Hall, and Campus Café, but it was easy enough to lure him outside for a talk with the promise of pastries. With a smile like the Cheshire Cat and a sense of humor straight from the gallows, he coyly danced around prying questions, turning them back at the asker in as little as a single sentence.

He clamored on about the stories he wrote, about his characters who all seemed to have a more vivid existence than his own. He knew them inside and out, could recite their family histories and backstories without a moment to look through the notebooks he carried around. He could name hundreds of landmarks in his fantasy world and explain their historical significance.

But he wouldn’t–couldn’t, it seemed at times–name his hometown.

He smirked at the questions, tapping his fingers on the table as if considering how to respond. His eight rings, all some combination of iron and silver, clicked on the wood in an awkward, stuttering rhythm.

“I remember salt. And storms. And an ocean past the breakwater, full of excitement and danger and the unknown. I remember the mermaid statues, decorating the street corners like peace offerings. But the name? My hometown is just as central to my identity as my first name. You’ll need more than a couple kolache to coax that out of me.”

Dime put her chin on her hands. She had heard from Cinders’ roommate that kolache was his favorite. If anything would get him to talk about his hometown, Hearth had insisted, that would be it.

There was a half-joking bet among the writing students Cinders told his stories to that he might be one of the Fair Folk. Dime knew better. They only knew the Cinders who wandered from the Campus Café to the English Hall, dazed and rambling about some aspect of his stories he’d been stalled on for weeks prior. She knew the Cinders who obsessively put his rings back on immediately after completing a mag particle test because he didn’t feel safe walking around, even in the Engineering Hall.

They didn’t know Cinders’ rings were silver and iron. They didn’t know that he wore jackets still coated in iron dust from his first mag class. They didn’t know he sewed a ring of iron jewelry chain into the lining of each of his hats.

Of course, that was because they never saw Cinders with his rings, jackets, or hats. Neither Dime nor Hearth knew why, but whenever Cinders went to the Café or to visit the writing students, he didn’t wear his protection.

“Cinders,” she started.

He cut her off with that Cheshire Cat smile and a flippant, “Did you make the kolache? Not bad, but I could give you my recipe.”

He was avoiding the question he knew was coming. Dime lifted her chin off her hands and tilted her head at him. The engineering and writing students both had questions about Cinders–questions they’d tried asking him before, only to have him talk in circles and turn it back on them. “You know what I’m going to ask. Just do us all a favor and answer this time, please.”

He sighed. He put his hands in his lap and shook his head slowly. “Do you know why I chose Cinders as my name for the University?” He waited for her to shake her head. A quiet, bitter laugh shook his frame. “Because I just can’t stop playing with fire, even after I get burned.”

Dime thought she understood what he was getting at. “You made a deal with Them, didn’t you?” Her voice was hushed, barely above a whisper. The Gentry heard everything; They would know if she addressed them improperly.

Cinders took off one of his rings, holding up at just the right angle for him to look through it. “Not so much a deal,” he sighed, “but a trade. A few, actually.” He put his hat on the table. The dull thunk from the sewn-in chain was a stark reminder of his paranoia. Even after all the precautions he took, he still prattled on about feeling unsafe walking from his dorm to the Engineering Hall.

“What did you trade?”

He put the ring back on, returning to the awkward, stuttering tapping.

“Cinders, what did you- Oh my god.”

“I needed inspiration, Dime. I couldn’t stand to have all these unconnected ideas in my head, all these stories that just wouldn’t go on paper no matter how hard I tried. It was torture. I couldn’t write stories, but I could tell them. I would sit around the English Hall after class, telling stories from my childhood to anyone who would listen, and I would notice some of the Fair Folk listening from the edge of the courtyard.”

Dime stared at him, understanding and horror dawning on her as he told the story of his first trade.

How he took his rings, jacket, and hat off and approached the Gentry at the Café with an offering of–what else–kolache. How he offered them a story just to listen to his request, and how when they accepted, he told them about the Woman of the Storm, a story he grew up with. How he bartered for inspiration and drive afterward, offering up the first few years of his childhood memories in exchange. How he ran back to his dorm in a haze, waking up the next morning with stories that finally made sense but a loss of interest in his oldest friends.

“They loved my stories.”

“Gamble nothing you cannot lose. You know this. Hearth told you; I told you! Why would you barter memories?” Her hands shook, curled into fists on the table, and she gritted her teeth. It made perfect sense now. Why he never went home for the holidays and breaks. Why he insisted on keeping so much secret. Why his stories and characters had more life than he did. Why he never wore iron around the English Hall anymore.

As an engineering major whose primary focus fell on metals like iron and low-carbon steel, he should have been safe from the Gentry. It hung in the air around him, dust from grinding and liquid from mag particle on his skin and clothes. As far as Dime knew, They would never take him, despite his stories.

But like a fool, he sought Them out. An offering and a story for an audience, memories for inspiration.

“The payoff seemed worth the price until I went home to family I no longer knew, a city whose name never stays with me, and friends I had to befriend again. All I had were my stories.” Cinders wasn’t looking at her anymore. He wrung his hands, eyes focused on the trees behind Dime. “I had played with fire, and I was burned. I came back here before break was over so I could have something familiar, but the inspiration went away again, so I made another trade.”

Dime got up. She couldn’t listen to him explain any more. “I’m sorry,” she said, wiping at the tears welling in her eyes. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

He let her go without a word.

It was weeks before she saw Cinders again in more than passing. He’d been seen telling stories to the writing students after classes, lurking around the Café during his lunch, and wandering the Engineering Hall, but even Hearth wasn’t sure what he’d been up to.

His eight rings were down to six, his jackets finally washed, and his hats nowhere to be seen.

She heard from a few of the writing students that his stories were more vibrant than ever, more detailed and full of life than he seemed to realize. She wondered if they understood the cost of Cinders’ creativity.

She saw Them, too. Listening to Cinders as he wove his tales, venturing closer and closer with each time she saw him. She feared for him. Music students came back most often, followed by the writing students, but Cinders was a wild card, an engineering student who just happened to be a storyteller.

Once, she ran up to him when she saw him stumbling away from the trees near the English Hall. She called his name four times before he heard, yet he didn’t seem to really see her.

“Cinders, it’s been a while, what have you been getting up to? Hearth and I-”

He cut her off with the same Cheshire Cat smile and flippant tone as he had all those weeks ago.

“I knew you once, didn’t I?”

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