this may or may not have taken three hours to do

University classes are a monster you can’t prepare for until you’re in them. I have been through every up and down with schoolwork possible in the past year, so here are some tips that can hopefully help you avoid those downs:

Choosing and Registering for Your Classes

  • Make sure to thoroughly check both your major requirements and your gen ed requirements. Normally, you’ll have an advisor to help you make sure you’re on track, but Vandy doesn’t assign first-year engineering students one until after registration when school starts, and I didn’t have an advisor for this year’s registration either due to my major change, so I’ve spent hours and hours doing this on my own. There’s often recommended courses and example schedules in the course catalog that tell you what classes you should be taking at this point in time. Pay attention to that and you should be fine. For example, you have to have taken a first-level writing class to qualify for junior standing here. Those are the little things you have to look out for. To keep track of it all, I have a spreadsheet I use for planning my sophomore - senior years that lists all the requirements I need to meet in terms of hours and courses in order to graduate on time. I plug in possible courses and see which requirement they would fulfill and when. You can check it out here to see what I mean, it’s very helpful.
  • Find at least one fun elective to take if at all possible. It gets very tiring when all you have on your schedule are really difficult classes that you don’t enjoy. Try to find at least one class that you’re genuinely interested in to help get you excited for the day. Each of my last semesters, my schedule consisted of a calculus class, a lab science, a comp sci class, and Italian. Italian was the only fun one that I enjoyed going to. It really helps you out. You’re not just in college to get your degree, you’re there to discover what you really want to do, so feel free to explore your catalog and take something completely out of character just because you want to. Bonus if it fills some kind of requirement (Italian filled my Foreign Language Proficiency and one of my International Cultures reqs.).
  • Have multiple versions of your schedule based on which classes you may or may not get into. I don’t know about your school, but at Vanderbilt, class registration is literally like the Hunger Games. You’re assigned an enrollment date based on your year (seniors get to go first, then juniors, etc.) and at 8 am on that day, you refresh the website and either enroll in your classes or get placed on the wait list for it. If you’re a freshman, you’re basically screwed because you go last, and so you could have planned out your perfect schedule only to find they’ve all filled up the day before your enrollment period starts. To avoid having to scramble, have multiple versions of your schedule, with back ups and substitutions for every class. This way, you won’t be surprised when you go to enroll and all but one of your classes are filled, then you have to search for other classes, but at that point, all that’s left are scraps that don’t fit your requirements. Plan plan plan and practice clicking the enroll button on all your classes as fast as you can for when the clock strikes 8.
  • You have freedom over your schedule now; take advantage of that! No more 8-3 Monday through Friday; you can take classes whenever you want. I prefer to have all my classes on MWF in a block of a few hours and only one or no class on TR. Of course, sometimes you’re going to have to take classes at less optimal times, but do try to accommodate yourself and take classes at times you know will be good for you. Lots of people prefer to start early and finish early, while I like to start no earlier than 11, even if I don’t finish until 5. The best part of college is you can do what you want.
  • Don’t take 8 ams. I’m repeating this cause it’s important. I swear, you’ll regret it. In high school, I woke up every morning early as hell to catch my bus at 6:30, but in college, it was nearly impossible for me to get up for my 11 am only three times a week. Don’t ever take an 8 am by choice. And if you have no choice, good luck lol.
  • Don’t be afraid to drop a class. If you’re doing terribly in a class or you absolutely can’t stand it, drop the class. There’s a very little chance that if you’re failing during the first half of the semester, you’ll be able to change your grade dramatically in the second half. Maybe you decided to be an overzealous freshman and signed up for the maximum number of hours possible and now you’re drowning. Drop a class! Sometimes, a course is going to do more harm to you than good, so it’s best to get rid of it than have an F or a W on your transcript.
  • Use RateMyProfessor! I totally forgot about this when I originally posted this and it’s already got almost 1,000 notes but hopefully people see this. RateMyProfessor is so fucking useful. It’s IMPERATIVE that you check this website before you enroll in classes. Someone at Vandy actually made a Chrome extension for our enrollment website that automatically shows a professor’s ranking while you’re looking for classes. Obviously, take it with a grain of salt, and make sure the reviews actually make valid points about the workload and class and isn’t just someone bitter about failing. I took calc with a professor who taught at my high school just cause she taught at my high school even though her reviews said she was insanely difficult and the class was near impossible to pass. Guess what? They were right and I failed as did a big chunk of everyone else in her class. You don’t have to let RMP dictate your schedule, but definitely check it out, and if everyone says the professor is awful, don’t fucking take them. 

Attending Your Classes

  • Establish a connection with your professor early. I recommended introducing yourself on the first day of class just so they know your name and face in another post. It’d be even better to attend an office hour or review session or something. Just make sure they know you. It’ll be easier to communicate when you need something later in the semester if it isn’t their first time seeing you.
  • Actually use this connection with your professors. In my experience, they can be pretty understanding and when you’re in a bad place, they’ll likely help you out. If something is preventing you from doing your best in class, go to them for help (I didn’t go to many office hours but I wish I did! Who better to explain to you something you don’t understand than the person who grades you on it?) or explain to them your situation. I had professors let me take tests late and redo assignments due to my mental health after I explained to them I wasn’t just a terrible student; if it wasn’t for this, I would’ve failed all of their classes. Maybe at the end of the semester they’ll drop one of your wonky grades or bump you up that extra half point you need. Your professors are a resource, and it’s up to you to use it.
  • Take notes however you want. I used my laptop in some, paper in others, and even my iPad and a stylus for calculus. In all of your classes will be a mixture of different techniques and no one cares what you do. Whatever works best for you and helps you get down the most information is what you should do. Also, you don’t have to write down everything. If your professor uses slides and posts them for you to download, you don’t really have to write down anything at all unless they add extra points, so that’s really convenient. 
  • You don’t have to sit in the front. As long as you can see and hear, which you’ll likely be able to due to large projection screens and microphones, it literally doesn’t matter where you sit. In my experience, the professors call on people from every part of the lecture hall, so everyone gets an equal chance at participation. It’s up to yourself to make sure you can pay attention, not your seat.
  • Do your best to attend every single class meeting. It’s inevitable that you’re going to miss class at some point; you will get sick, you won’t have finished an assignment, you’ll need a mental health day, something will happen. Missing class can too easily become a habit if you do it often, so try to never do it. Don’t force yourself to go if you can’t handle it, obviously your health always comes first, but I mean don’t skip cause you want to sleep in or cause you just don’t feel like going. If you do have to miss class and 1) you have a good reason for it (i.e. sickness) and 2) it’s a class small enough that your professor will notice you’re not there, email them and let them know why, just so they’re aware you’re not just skipping to skip.  
  • Try to make friends in your classes. A little study group would be even better. It’ll be really useful to have someone who can help you with a homework question you don’t understand or send you their notes when you miss a class. It can also be great to study with other people, depending on how you study best. I’ve had friends in all my classes so far and it’s been a great help, even if we just complained about the test we just failed then went to get pizza.

Tackling the Coursework

  • Make a REALISTIC study schedule. The key word here is realistic. During winter break I made a study schedule that started with me waking up at 8 am every morning to go work out and ended with me going to sleep promptly at 11 or midnight after spending literally the entire day studying with breaks only for meals. No breaks on weekends, no room to socialize, and I thought this would be perfectly fine for me to follow. Of course, I didn’t last a week because that was fucking ridiculous. You don’t need to schedule every hour of your day; college doesn’t work like that. Just do something simple, an hour for a class or maybe less depending on how hard it is and if you have a test coming up. Trust your instincts. There’s no need to go overboard, and you don’t need to spend six hours a day working, just dedicate a time to studying and stick with that.
  • Explore study techniques until you find one that works for you. Everyone doesn’t study the same, so if you do what everyone else is doing you might not get the results you want. Even if you had a great system in high school, it might not be fitting for college, so check out a bunch of different methods and see how you do with them. Once you find the best way you study, you’ll be unstoppable when exam time comes.
  • Start your assignments early, as soon as you can after they’re assigned. There’s nothing worse than having a bunch of assignments/tests/papers due on the same day and you haven’t finished any of them. Trust me, it is so much less stressful to complete an assignment as soon as you can after it’s been assigned so you don’t have to worry about it anymore. Putting things off has much more severe consequences than it did in high school and you will regret procrastinating. If you have a weekly assignment due every Friday, try to complete them by Wednesday every week. At the very least, start an assignment the day you get it even if you can’t finish it that day. It’s a lot easier to do something after you’ve already begun working on it, and that one thing you do is progress.
  • The name of the college game is prioritization. If college teaches you anything, it’s how to prioritize your duties. You need to create a hierarchy of importance for your classes and types of assignments. For me, calculus assignments were always done first because that was the most difficult class and the one I absolutely needed to pass, and Italian was always done last cause it was my easiest class and I could complete even our biggest assignments in one day. You’re going to have a very large amount of work and sometimes you have to sacrifice finishing a small homework assignment to finish a huge paper or study for an exam. I liked to complete my hardest/longest assignments right when I got back from class to get them over with and leave my easier ones for later. Prioritizing is essential if you want to succeed in university, so learn how to do it immediately! 
  • Remember that uni is really difficult and your grades don’t define you. Something I learned the hard way is that sometimes you can try really really hard, do the best you can, and still fail. That’s just life. Sometimes you have to do something a million times before you get it right, or before you discover that it just isn’t right for you at all. I worked harder than I ever had this past year, and what I got in return was two failed classes, two D’s, academic probation, and a 2.3 GPA. Actually, my current GPA isn’t even a 2.3, it’s a 2.295, which is probably blasphemy to the studyblr community, but this shit happens. It happens to all of us and it sucks. It can be really shitty to feel like your effort wasn’t reflected in your result. What you need to do is adjust your expectations and keep working hard. After you hit your stride, your grades could be great in no time. Or you could discover that math or science or english just isn’t for you. Maybe you’ll discover university as a whole isn’t right for you, and that’s okay! Bad grades, whether you define that as a B or an F, don’t mean you’re a bad student or a bad person. You do what you can, and then let go of what you can’t control. The sooner you grasp this idea, and the sooner you learn to be gentle with yourself, the easier a time you’ll have.

So I feel like I forgot a lot of things but also this is pretty long so I’m going to end the post here. If you have any further questions or topics for a post you’d like to see, my inbox is always open. I don’t know which post is coming next, but I’ll keep you posted. Thanks for reading and I hope this helped you out!

Previous Posts:

Aliens Vs Menstrual

Re-posting this so folks actually see the damn thing.

Please forgive the length… the plot bunny got away from me… very far away from me…


There was blood on the floor.

Avrex blinked and stared at the red droplets on the floor. More red caught xer eye. There was more just under the edge of the seat. As if someone had tried to wipe it up but hadn’t thought to get under the very edge. Only one species on board had red blood.

This had to belong to one of the humans.

But why would blood be here in waste room of all places? Granted, humans were an odd breed, and used the waste rooms for more than the elimination of waste. Some even installed mirrors and extra lights and spent an hour or more in there! But blood? Why here? And why on the waste reclaimer lid? Surely if one of the humans was injured they would go to the infirmary….

…wouldn’t they?

Avrex shook xer scaled head and stalked out of the waste room. Xey would get to the bottom of this.


The humans had been hired three months prior. Two at first. Then another two a month later. And a fifth one a month after that. They were extremely useful, and didn’t really take up much space.

Hunting down any of said humans was a challenge.

Three of the humans were mechanics, and could be found shimmying their slender bodies between various components of the ship to reach the part they desired to work on. Even with an extra set of large eyes, Avrex would often walk right by the little beings, missing their little oil and grease smeared bodies in amongst the equally oil and grease smeared engine components. At a hulking ten feet tall, Avrex often missed the little monsters because they were under something or other.

The massive first officer dismissed the mechanics as a viable first target for questions. Searching through the entrails of the ship for crew members that xey may or may not find was not an effective use of xer energy or time. Xey could always catch the mechanics at the designated meal time if the other two humans couldn’t answer xer questions satisfactorily.

The fourth human was no easier to find. He was a security guard, and could be anywhere on the ship at any given time. Despite the fact that he wasn’t a mechanic, he seemed to share their proclivity for climbing on things, and for crawling into spaces that were inaccessible to most of the rest of the crew.

That left Carl.

Avrex made xer ponderous way down to the metallurgy lab. The human designated as Carl was not like the others. He was much older. The kind, gentle being had been the first human the ship had taken on, and had paved the way for the four other humans that followed. The others respected him greatly, turning to him for wisdom and advice. Surely Carl would have some insight into why there was human blood in the waste room.

Carl was right where he was supposed to be.

Avrex pressed the alert button and patiently waited to be granted entry just outside the lab doors. The request was swiftly answered, the doors sliding open with a soft hiss to admit the ship’s first officer.

Carl had put his work station into a safe position, and turned in his seat to give the hulking alien from Jarrok his full and undivided attention. Avrex had always liked that about Carl. While the human ability to multi-task often came in useful, it was sometimes disconcerting to hold a conversation with a being that never once even glanced in xer general direction while they spoke.

Carl smiled as he stripped of his protective gear. “Avrex. What brings you down here?”

The first officer assumed a parade rest position. “I have a query about human behavior, and had hoped that you could explain.”

The human chuckled and ran a hand through his graying hair. “Well, I’ll do my best. Go on and fire away.”

Avrex paused, then decided to ignore the odd turn of phrase. Experience had shown that large amounts of time were wasted when human parlance was questioned. “I discovered a small amount of blood in one of the communal waste rooms. I am aware that humans use waste rooms for more than their intended purpose, but I am at a loss as to what form of task could take place in a waste room, and possessed the potential to cause injury. The blood was red, thus it can be safely assumed that such belonged to one of the humans on board. But none of the humans have sought out medical aid. If one of my crew is injured in any capacity, as first officer I am entitled to know, so that I may account for such injuries when drawing up the duty roster for the coming cycles.”

The elderly male frowned thoughtfully. “There are a couple things it might be. But I’m not going to stir up panic by picking the wrong one. Which waste room was it you found the blood?”

Feeling dread curdle in xer gut, Avrex gave him the correct room number.

Carl nodded. “Melanie was supposed to be working up near that sector. More’n likely it’s her blood you found. Come on, I’ll walk up with you and help straighten this mess out.” Avrex started to protest. Surely xey could manage without taking Carl away from his work if given the pertinent information. The elderly human shook his head in seeming amusement. “Trust me Avrex, it’s better if I go along. If this is what I think it is, you’d just end up with a very angry or hurt mechanic on your hands.”

The first officer shut xer maw, frilled ears pinned back against the sides of xer head. What could possibly be going on that would result in a human being injured or angry?

Xey walked back down to the correct deck with Carl, deciding to wait and see. If what Xey had heard from other ships was true, an angry human was something to be avoided if at all possible.


Despite the consistent trouble the rest of the crew had in locating the mechanics while about their work in the engines, Carl seemed to have no problem tracking down the correct human.

At his call, she crawled out of a space so tight Avrex wasn’t sure xey could’ve gotten a paw in.

The second human the ship had taken on, Melanie had been hired barely a week after Carl. She was by far the smallest of the humans, and the quietest. Her peers took shameless advantage of her small size, leaving work in the tightest spaces to her. She didn’t seem to mind, preferring to work alone rather than with her group as most humans were purported to do. In fact, with the exception of Carl she seemed to avoid all of her kind for the most part.

The raven haired female flashed her teeth in the odd threat gesture that humans insisted denoted welcome, amusement, or joy.

Melanie wiped her hand on a rag and stuck it out to Carl for a traditional human greeting. “Hey Carl. Did one of your do-dads break down again?”

“Not this time dear.” Carl assured. “The first officer swung by with a question, and it seemed you’d be most likely to have the answer. Seems Avrex swung by the restroom and found human blood on the floor. Any chance you’d know something about that?”

Melanie paled.

The elder human nodded and patted her shoulder, seeming to have derived his answer from her silence. “It’s alright dear, no need to worry. I was married for thirty-five years before cancer took my sweet Belle, and she and I raised six beautiful daughters. There isn’t a thing under the sun I haven’t seen, and I’ve made more trips to the store for feminine things than I could probably count! Do you need any help, or do you have everything in order?”

The young female slowly relaxed at his kindly manner. She shook her head, asserting that she had ‘it’ covered. Avrex shifted xer weight, subtly drawing the humans’ attention back to xer question.

“You’re the only woman on board, Mel. Would you like to explain? Or would you rather I did?”

Melanie’s cheeks started to change color underneath the grease. “I can do it.”

Carl seemed pleased by the answer. “Go get ‘em then. And if you need anything, you go ahead and ask me or Cal. That’s the lad over in security, in case you didn’t know. Lord knows he’s young, but he won’t give you any grief if you need something and can’t get it yourself.”

Calling a farewell, Carl patted Avrex on the shoulder and headed back to his lab, leaving the massive reptilian being towering over the tiny female.

Avrex slowly squatted down as low as xey could manage in an attempt to put her at ease. Xer experience with humans was still somewhat limited, but observation had shown that humans tended to be slightly intimidated by a difference in height.

Her cheeks were changing color again. Looking down, the human female mumbled something at the floor.

Avrex cocked xer head. “Could you repeat that more clearly please?”

Melanie seemed to gather her courage and finally looked the massive officer in the larger pair of xer four amber colored eyes.

“I’m on my period.” The admission made, she seemed to lose some of her discomfort. “It started a few hours ago while I was up in the machinery. I had to climb down and run to the rest roo-damnit, waste room to clean myself up. I’m sorry about the blood, I’ll be more careful in future.”

Avrex cocked xer head. “I do not understand. I was under the impression that ‘period’ is a form of punctuation denoting the end of a sentence. How then, can you be ‘on’ it?”

She stared at xem for a long moment, eyes widening as she slowly seemed to realize that xey genuinely had no idea what she was talking about. “Ok. Um… the word ‘period’ also means a length of time. Human females use the word as slang to talk about a specific time. It’s… God, I can’t believe I’m giving an alien the talk. Ok, so basically…”

Avrex listened in growing astonishment as the little female described a process by which one of her internal organs partially deconstructed itself once a month unless she put it to use in forming a baby. If she was to be believed, it happened once a month from approximately age eleven to age forty to fifty. Admittedly, compared to the amount of blood in the human body the amount lost during one of the episodes she described was relatively small. But, she explained that other fluids were expelled as well, along with pieces of the organ that was shredding and rebuilding itself. The entire process took place approximately every three to four weeks.

Avrex shook xer head. “Shouldn’t such a process be painful?”

Melanie shrugged. “Well yeah. I know some women who stay in bed the entire time they’re on because it hurts so bad.”

The first officer reared back in alarm. “Are you in pain?!”

Another shrug. “My uterus is shredding it’s inner lining because I’m not knocked up with a baby. Yes, I hurt.”

Avrex had to work hard not to snap xer teeth in xer anger on Melanie’s behalf. “If human females require bed-rest while experiencing one of these ‘periods’, why are you not in bed? Surely if you explained the situation to the medical officer he would have given you medical leave. We do not require a crew member to return to active duty immediately after surgery, surely an internal organ coming apart cannot be so different!”

Melanie laughed. Laughed!

The little human caught xer hand and gave it a squeeze. “I said some humans Avrex. Some. Most don’t experience severe pain. If it gets bad, it means that more than likely something else is wrong. Most of us wear special liners in our clothes or inserted into our bodies to catch the blood so we don’t get it all over the place. And we just go on with our daily routine. Grin and bear it. We’ll be alright.”

The first officer wasn’t convinced. “At least tell me that you have spoken to the medical officer about something to relieve the pain.”

She shook her head, holding up a hand to forestall xer protests. “Some women do. I don’t like using pain medication for something I can tough out. Humans have this thing, where we can slowly build up an immunity to certain drugs through prolonged use. I avoid pain medication so I don’t build up an immunity. That way, when I do need it I know it works really well. As soon as I realize my period is starting, I start drinking more water. The human body is about sixty percent water, and making sure that I’m properly hydrated speeds up the process and makes it hurt less. Instead of dealing with it for six to seven days, it only lasts three to four. Seriously Avrex, I’m fine, and I’ve got a handle on the rest of the symptoms. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Avrex felt as if xer head was spinning. “Other symptoms?”

The human bared her teeth in another smile. “Most of us get moody because our hormone level fluctuate a bit. It hits every woman a bit differently. Some women turn into a weepy mess. Me? I turn into a grouchy, irritable, cow who avoids everyone like the plague. Other women will get angry at the drop of a hat and bite the head off the nearest individual that annoys her.” She must’ve seen the look of shock and horror on xer face because she immediately backtracked. “Shit, not literally! I mean they just get overly aggressive, usually verbally.”

She waited for a second, to make sure xey understood, then went on.

“Aside from the moodiness it’s a grab bag of ways your period will affect you. Some people get cravings, some people get back pain, or their breasts”, she put her hands illustratively on the soft mounds on her chest to be sure that there wasn’t any miscommunication between them about what ‘breasts’ were, “get sore. Most of us get cramps in our lower abdomens right about here.” Again the illustrative touch, this time to a spot just below her belt. “Some of us have an increased sex drive, while others just want to roll themselves up in a blanket like a burrito, and a lot of us are fatigued. Every woman’s different.”

Avrex slowly shook xer head, completely dumbfounded by the sudden influx of information. “Is…is there anything you currently require? I know that Carl already asked, and you informed him that you were sufficiently prepared, but…”

Her face softened. “I’m fine Avrex. Really. I just…”

“Hey! Melanie! You gonna keep up with the men today, or are you gonna have a tea party with the dinosaur all day?”

Avrex almost responded.

Almost.

Instead, xey remained stationary, watching as a strange change came over the female before xem. Where before she had been timid and shy, at the sudden derogatory call from the newest of the five humans, a male named Dave, her face suddenly became calm and smooth as granite.

She slowly turned and cast a threatening, and yes Avrex was sure that this smile was definitely a threat, at Dave and the other male mechanic Josh. Josh had been the fourth human taken on, hired within days of Cal the security guard.

As Dave was the one who’d spoken, Melanie seemed to focus most of her attention on him. “Care to run that by me again smart mouth?”

Josh, older and more mature than Dave, seemed to understand the unspoken warning. “Dave…”

The younger human ignored him. “Ooh, someone woke up on the bitchy side of the bed this morning. What’s a matter sweet cheeks?” He made an expression that Avrex would later learn was called a leer. The male grabbed her by the arm. “Maybe you just need a little action to settle you down, yeah? How ‘bout it babe? I bet I can get that stick out of your ass. Hm? Maybe put something better…”

A large wrench whistled through the air and stopped within a micron’s breadth of the young human’s nose. It was easily the length of the male’s forearm, and had previously been occupying a loop on Melanie’s belt. He stared at it, cross eyed and pale, then looked at the diminutive little female who could’ve easily broken his nose if she’d had less control.

“What’s a matter?” She parroted the question back, voice tight and dark. “What’s a matter is that I started my day in a fountain of my own blood, and that’s how you’re going to end yours if you ever call me ‘sweet cheeks’, ‘babe’, or any other cutesy nickname again. And as for keeping up with you ‘men’, I’m already three days ahead of schedule. You’ve barely been on this ship a month and you’re already two weeks behind. So I’d say it’s you who aught to be keeping up with me, because it seems anything you can do I can do better and faster while bleeding.” Her dark eyes narrowed. “And lastly? If you ever lay hands on me again? I promise you, they will never find your body.”

She slid the wrench back into her belt, cast a respectful nod to Avrex, and calmly crawled back up into the machinery.

Dave stared after her for a long moment, then pointed. “Josh! Did you see what that bitch just…”

The older male cuffed him over the back of the head. “You’re an idiot. Never piss off something that bleeds for seven days a month and doesn’t die. I haven’t got to know her all that well yet, but Mel is worth ten of you. That woman works her ass off. If you ever go after her again, and she doesn’t kill you, you can bet that I will happily beat you black and blue!”

Avrex bared xer teeth, allowing a tiny warning growl to rumble deep inside xer barrel chest. The reptilian first officer slowly stood to xer full ten foot height, looming over the miscreant. “Consider yourself warned.”


An additional talk with Carl yielded a few ‘pearls of wisdom’ concerning ‘feminine’ needs.

With the thunderstruck captain’s blessing, Avrex ordered small metal receptacles installed in each of the public waste rooms on board at their next stop. Carl had suggested small boxes, but given the frequency of meteor showers and pirate attacks, evasive maneuvers were engaged fairly often. Avrex thought it better to have the receptacles affixed to the wall and a basic bolt lock placed on the lid so that the ‘feminine’ supplies wouldn’t be thrown around the waste rooms when the ship had to duck or roll suddenly.

Upon having the situation explained, the other alien members of the crew who hadn’t been released for shore leave were more than happy to help. They liked Melanie, and the discovery that she spent a week in pain each month and gave no outward sign was disconcerting to say the least.

Other changes included stain proof bedding, a heating pad, a new fluffy blanket, and a few earth sweets being slipped into her room.


Dave, the human who had harassed her, was not invited back to the ship.

Instead he was replaced with a male creylight from the Andromeda system. While not as small as the humans, he was still flexible enough to reach most of the components without taking a piece of the engine apart, and he was much stronger. The humans wouldn’t have to drag the lifting equipment out as often.

He was also made aware of how his predecessor had been fired for his disrespectful, inappropriate, and frankly downright threatening behavior towards Melanie.

The crew was not going to tolerate such treatment towards their favorite human.


Melanie nearly burst xer ear drums with her grateful calls upon returning from shore leave and discovering what xey had done.

She had been dreading coming back to work and having to deal with Dave. And then to find out he’d been fired, and to see what ‘sweethearts’ the rest of the crew had been…

As xey crouched down to receive the strongest ‘hug’ the little human could muster, Avrex couldn’t help but marvel at the change in her attitude. While she still treated Josh a little coolly, Melanie seemed much less guarded than she had before. She made friends with Cal, and Carl, and slowly started to get to know Josh. She was more outgoing while socializing with the rest of the crew. The timidity faded, an air of preparedness that the crew hadn’t even realized was there fell away. Leaving her relaxed and free. For the first time since she’d boarded the ship, she seemed truly happy.

She felt safe.

And Avrex couldn’t help but feel both saddened and enraged at how surprised she seemed that they would go out of their way to make her feel safe and comfortable. That she was so used to relying on no one but herself. So used to being stepped on and living in fear of the male half of her species taking advantage of her.

No more.

Avrex took care of xer crew.

Writing is Hard, pt 9: Sexting

Summary: You send Dean some dirty pictures.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Warning: Smut, taking pictures during sex

Word Count: 2600ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


You hold up the phone, then almost instantly put it down.

This is stupid.

No. This isn’t stupid. This will be hot. Just do it.

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Talks Machina Highlights - Episode 102
  • Pre-show picture: Travis photoshopped into an Eagles uniform
  • Matt’s birthday is on Thursday! Brian gives him a thoroughly mangled cake.
  • No TM next Tuesday, because it’s the 4th of July.
  • Matt: “Look, I have half the internet wanting to fight me after that episode.”
  • Matt had three or four more battlemaps prepped that will never see the light of day, including two that were in the tower that they knocked down; there were a lot more challenges that the party completely overcame by bringing the top of the tower down to them.
  • “Your imaginary boyfriend was killed by your real-life fiancé.”
  • Keyleth knows it’ll take some time to prep for Vecna, so right now she is entirely focused on Vax.
  • Matt: “The book we’re releasing after the campaign guide is The Man-Ass of Tal’Dorei.” Travis: “There’s a fold-out calendar.”
  • Travis thought the Earthquake spells were just gonna weaken the structure of the tower, and then they’d still have to climb it… “What caused the TPK? Our own hubris.”
  • Travis’s GTFO-alarm went off at the very first turn of the first round when five members of the party were paralyzed. Marisha knew that Keyleth’s wisdom was high enough to shake it off, but she quickly realized that everyone else would need to roll a natural 20.
  • VM would’ve had a chance to stop Vecna’s ritual. Once Delilah saw them and knew the threat, she escalated the timeline. On the other hand, if they’d taken too much time, they would’ve come back through the orb to the Shadowfell and just found a giant crater with no clues as to where to go. Matt emphasizes that things will happen regardless of where they are in this arc, whereas the Conclave arc had the baddies settling more on their laurels and VM had a little more leeway to plot and scheme.
  • Matt points out that almost no DMs ever get to run an epic-level game, especially since 5e is still relatively new. Travis: “We’re gonna peter out and start gradually leaving the game.” Matt: “I will run you over, Travis.”
  • Marisha talks about how Keyleth has started going into very competent crisis-mode in the moment, but she’s very freaked out at the prospect that Foresight may have given Vax a vision of his own death (which is essentially what that failed first Disintegrate amounted to), and after putting him through that, she doesn’t think Keyleth will use it again.
  • Travis: “There’s a whole line of vacuum-cleaners called Vax.” Brian: “That’s fucked up.”
  • Vecna’s a keeper of secrets and knowledge; he knows everything about VM. He immediately targeted those who had range and mobility.
  • Keyleth had mixed feelings in the past about True Resurrection, just because of the moral implications of wielding that sort of power, but now things have changed. (Matt mentions that Pike may have leveled and might have access to it as well.)
  • Brian points out that you can have those standards and principles, but everything goes out the window when it hits close to home.
  • Keyleth is also concerned about how the Raven Queen’s influence is going to come into play; Vax could be standing right in front of her, and she’d still feel like it was borrowed time.
  • True Resurrection bypasses Matt’s resurrection ritual completely. It does require 25,000 gold in diamonds, however…
  • Grog is feeling better about Scanlan being back after seeing him in action again.
  • If everyone had died and Pike was the last one standing, she was gonna ask the knight to send her to Grog so they could at least go out in a blaze of glory together.

MS-DOS Machina in the Dark:

  • Marisha wins the roll for hosting!
  • After a rough episode, Marisha paces around the living room for half an hour. Travis and Ashley are advocates for avoiding the internet and going straight to bed.
  • Ashley thinks Matt does the best Pike impression.
  • Marisha’s “Sleeves are Bullshit” shirt was a gift from Laura.
  • Matt: “Whenever I see a mansplaining comment on the internet, it just goes through a Papyrus filter in my mind. ‘Well, actually…’”
Favorite Adam moments

It’s Adam Parrish’s birthday and since he’s a character that has made me bite my fingernails and yell at the page and grin like an idiot and maybe even get a moist eye or two (this despite being spoiled to his ending), here are some of my favorite Adam moments in (I think) chronological order:

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we may be hollow, but we’re brave

Summary: Even had insisted they spend the night before their wedding apart, because he’s dramatic as fuck, but he ends up calling Isak anyway. Isak doesn’t even try to hide how endeared he is.

Words: 1,248

Isak groans as he adjusts the pillow under his head for the thirtieth time that night. It’s the first time in weeks he’s had to fall asleep without Even, and it’s fucking with him bad. Once upon a time, he thought he’d outgrow this urgent need to have Even next to him, touching him, just being with him always. But after a year together, he feels the exact same desperate ache for Even as he had when they first met—when real love, the kind that comes naturally with Even, still felt like a fleeting fantasy. He’s more or less accepted that forever is in his grasp now, but being without him when Isak could so easily drive over to Even’s parents’ place and crawl into his bed, still feels like the worst kind of self-inflicted torture.

He’d whined to Jonas about it for a good two hours earlier, until Jonas had threatened to hand over best man duties to Magnus instead. Isak had been scared enough to shut the fuck up, but not he’d just pouted silently instead. “I can’t wait until Even marries you, this whole engagement has brought out the clingiest, sappiest parts of both of you,” Jonas had complained.

“Do you really think that it’ll get better after we get married?”

Jonas considered this for a moment, before burying his head in his hands. “Fuck, it’ll be even worse.”

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anonymous asked:

Dude, requests are back up, awesome! How about DAI companions + Krem de la creme reacting to the inquisitor being one of the last avian folk?(Like, they have big ass wings, so they always wear an even bigger cloak to hide them, and during battle somehow, they end up losing the cloak? They can legit fly with them)

Cassandra: She stares and stares before angrily demanding to know why they hid this from her. They sheepishly explain their situation, and she calms down, but it doesn’t change the fact they hid it. When she eventually gets over it, she sometimes just sits and watches them fly around (which they do for fun; they’re actually sort of relieved to be revealed for this reason). It makes her nervous, at first, worrying they’ll suddenly drop, but she’s awed by how agile and graceful they are in the sky. Once or twice, they have to pick her up and drop her somewhere else, and it makes her nervous every time they pick her up, and she hates how helpless she feels suspended in the air. If Romanced: Sometimes he takes her flying for no reason other than a good time. She likes it significantly more than non-romanced flying. Eventually, they’ll land, and have a quiet, serene place to sit together while she listens to him recite poetry.

Blackwall: He stares. That’s all he can do as he gawks with a slack jaw for a long time. He has no words– trying for speech just results in helpless sputtering. The man stands aside as the others fuss and try to make sense of the situation, and speaks last. He gets over it, though, once he hears the story, and doesn’t mind at all. “They’re like a pair of griffon wings,” he admires, “powerful and fast.” If the Herald can lift him up, it makes him supremely uncomfortable the first time they take him into the sky, but he finds that he thinks it’s fun. If Romanced: He regularly compliments her on how beautiful her wings are, and he tries to help itch and clean the spots she can’t reach easily. He brings her flowers that grow all the way up on a mountainside, and she gently teases him and says she could just fly him up there. “No, my lady,” he refuses, “it’s not the same if all the work’s taken out of it. You shouldn’t waste your time helping me get you flowers; let me do the work.”

Iron Bull: After getting past the initial shock, he’s utterly green with envy. It looks like SO MUCH FUN, taking off like a dragon to the skies. The Herald tries to pick him up (to no avail, he’s too heavy) to give him the experience of flying, so he takes it upon himself to make them stronger and faster, so they can. Push-ups with wings, laps around Skyhold, timing their speed of flight, you name it. “Just wait. You’ll go back to your people and fly circles around them! When you can finally lift me up, you can air-drop me on the enemies for an attack from above! It’s gonna be great!” If romanced: Hot. He’s 100% into this. He snickers if any feathers get ruffled or fall off after sex. “Did I ruffle your feathers, Kadan?” he teases, and he just laughs as they slap him with a wing. He ties one of the feathers that fall off to the dragontooth necklace, as long as they don’t mind.

Sera: She’s freaked out and utterly shocked. She has no idea how to react, so she just stares for a long time, sputtering helplessly. She feels bad later at how upset they seemed at her facial expression. “Aw, shite… well, your feathery ass is welcome here, alright?” she reassures. She likes tossing things at them when they’re flying to see if they can catch it, and it becomes a sort of game/exercise routine. She also talks them into using their wings to prank others. She screams the first time they pick her up and take her into the sky, but soon she realizes she likes it, so long as she trusts the Herald. Sometimes she’ll ask to be taken with them, because she thinks it’s exhilarating– and a few times, shoots arrows at people from above while the Herald carries her. “Death from above! Arrows from the sky! I even have a source of feathers for fletching at any moment! Hah!” A few times, if she needs them, she’ll just pluck a feather clean off if there’s none lying around, and sticks her tongue out as the Herald protests. “What? You still got a lot of ‘em. Your wings are huge!” Also jokingly refers to wings/feathers sticking out as “wingboners.” If Romanced: She likes tickling her wings and playing with her feathers, and sleeping under a wing when they’re in bed together. “They’re soft. And fuzzy. And cute.” she gushes. She also learns how to preen the feathers, and takes to doing so regularly out of affection, at least in the areas her girlfriend can’t reach with ease. She typically finishes it off by taking a feather or two that falls off to keep for herself.

Varric: “Holy Mother of Andraste’s ass.” he breathes, taking it all in. He comes around quickly, though, and asks a lot of questions– though few on anatomy, unlike Dorian, and more on who they are, where they come from, and about their people. He’s fascinated, and taking notes. Sometimes when he’s out of writing quills, he wryly asks them if he can take one of theirs– or may just take one if they drop off from time-to-time. He’s not a fan of going into the sky, at all. “You know, I like the idea of getting as far away from the Stone as possible,” he says nervously as he looks down at the world below, “but this is a bit too far. Dwarves don’t fly.”

Cole: He knew, and he doesn’t mind in the least. “I am sorry. The others know, and they want to help. They don’t mind the wings.” He also comments that the others are happy while watching the Herald fly, and the Inquisitor takes to doing small shows on a regular basis for the crowd at Skyhold, which always draws large numbers. Everyone is cheered by the amazing sight of them in the sky, and morale goes up. People start sitting and waiting for hours before the show starts. Cole smiles– they helped.

Dorian: About five million questions start flying from his lips as soon as he’s out of the initial shock. How fast can you fly? How many feathers do you have? What’s the bone structure of your wings? Can you stick one straight out so I can measure how long it is? Where are your people from? Why are you the only one out here? It makes them more than a little uncomfortable, and he feels bad when he realizes how uncomfortable they are. “Oh.” he says, suddenly quiet. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… if you need to talk, let me know?” He loves watching them soar through the sky, and he takes notes as he watches. He considers them and their wings utterly beautiful, and he feels honored to know them and witness their flight. He does not particularly care for going in the air, though, citing a sudden fear of extreme heights as he clings to the Herald, trying desperately to not look down. If Romanced: He loves preening his lover’s feathers, because it’s hard for them to reach behind and get them clean. He finishes it all with a kiss. He feels so safe under his boyfriend’s wings as they lay together, and he silently smirks as he imagines his father’s reaction to seeing his boyfriend.

Vivienne: She has to work to hide her complete and utter shock, and briefly scolds the Herald for not telling her before. When they’re comfortable, she examines their wings in detail. She figures out a grooming regimen. “Darling, everyone knows what you are now– there’s no point in hiding your wings any longer.” She smiles. “So use them. Preen them. Take the time and effort to make them presentable. You will be imposing, awe-inspiring, beautiful, majestic, and everyone will know it with a single glance.” She introduces them to her tailor, who manages to make them outfits that accommodate the wings– even accentuate them. Vivienne does not like being taken into the sky, but tolerates it if necessary in combat.

Solas: Their people were known to the ancient Elvhen, but their numbers were in slow decline– he’s honestly surprised that there’s any still around at all. He’s sympathetic to them, and surprises them by being the least shocked of any of the party members. He claims that he has seen their people before in the Fade, and suddenly the other party members are coming to him, asking for information. When he shakes them off, he mentions to the Herald that they shouldn’t hide their wings, for they are beautiful and proof of their ancient people. He asks them a lot of questions about the current state of their race, about their society, which befuddles the Herald. He doesn’t seem to mind being lifted into the air, if need be, and may even ask the Herald to carry him to places inaccessible by walking alone. If Romanced: They spend dates just finding places that only winged creatures can reach, and they look over the world together. They slumber and see memories previous unexplored by the remote location, and Solas feels genuine happiness that someone can understand the value of unexplored dreams. “Thank you, ma vhenan. Thank you…”

Cullen: He just sighs. Somehow this doesn’t even shock him. Maybe he’s seen too much. He’s a bit frustrated that they didn’t tell him to begin with, but lets it go readily. He asks if they know any others of their kind who would be interested in joining the Inquisition– flying soldiers would be excellent– and finds himself bewildered as they tell him that the vast majority of their people are shy and mistrustful of land-dwellers. He apologizes, and does not press the matter further. He enjoys watching them fly, and compliments them on their ability, but absolutely hates being taken off the ground and into the sky in any circumstances. If Romanced: He’s somewhat more tolerant of being taken into the sky, but he still doesn’t like it. Sometimes when he’s having bad dreams, he awakens as one of her wings gently folds over him, covering him softly, affectionately, and his heart rate slows. He’s safe, and she loves him, and he feels it. He goes back to sleep in peace, happy with what he has and who he loves.

Leliana: She’s just envious, if anything; she wouldn’t mind being able to fly. She was wondering what they were hiding, and found several stray feathers (which may or may not be in unusual colors) from time-to-time, and this explains it. She takes it pretty calmly, and asks if they know any others of their kind that might be willing to join as agents, or even airborne couriers. If the Herald ever takes her into the sky, she acts totally calm, but she LOVES it, even though she doesn’t say so.

Josephine: She’s at a loss. She tries to quickly compose herself and awkwardly make sense of the situation, but once the shock wears off, she’s endlessly curious about being able to fly. She watches them zip through the sky with grace and speed and is utterly mesmerized. Like Vivienne, she encourages a strict preening regimen– if they’re going to have wings, they might as well make them presentable. Eventually, the Herald offers to take her flying, and she squeals with a mix of delight and a bit of fright. Her hair blows loosely, and the wind’s on her face, and by the time the Herald brings her back down, she’s dazed and eager for the next time they fly together. If Romanced: They take her flying with them all the time, and it makes for interesting dates. She giggles and squeals (and on one occasion, screams as they do a loop with her in their arms) and has the time of her life. They always end it by landing somewhere picturesque, and they sit together, cuddling and admiring the world around them.

Krem: “Your… your Worship?” he asks, shocked, not sure if he’s seeing correctly, or if Bull’s pulling a prank like that time they all covered themselves with feathers– but no, it’s really them. If they don’t mind, he asks them questions about flying, and remarks that the Chargers would love having one of their kind on the team, if they know anyone looking for work. Sometimes he tosses his stuffed winged nug plushies at them from the ground, and they catch, not unlike the game played with Sera. He really likes flying, and admires the view of the world below.

Some Tips On Organic Chemistry
  1. When you’re looking at two compounds and wondering how they may react, pay attention to the carbons - if they are bonded to a halogen or something more electronegative than them, then they have a partial positive charge and they’re going to want anything that will give them more electrons (a.k.a. a nucleophillic attack). If they’re bonded to hydrogen, they have a partial negative charge and they become your nucleophile, which will want to give those electrons to something that’s lacking them. Once you get these basics down, mechanisms become much easier to memorize because you can see the logic in them and sometimes predict them.

  2. Get the basic mechanisms ingrained in your brain. Think of SN1, SN2, E1 and E2 as your new multiplication table. Make flashcards about them and take them to class. Or put them at the back or front of your notebook. Just have them handy at all times.

  3. Draw the final steps in 3D. ALWAYS. You can draw the mechanisms and the first steps in 2D because it will make it easier to understand, but never forget that you’re working with a 3D structure that can flipped (and attacked by nucleophiles) every which way. Also, if you don’t know the basic perspectives used in orgo (Fischer, Newmans, sawhorse, wedge-dash) please take half an hour to learn them. Mainly wedge-dash and Fischer, but Newman is very useful when deciding which position you should put your atoms in if you’re dealing with sin and anti.

  4. Colors. If you’re one of those people who ONLY writes in black pen, awesome, keep using it for WRITING. For reactions though, you’re going to want options. you’ll need to differentiate between:

    • The molecules (same color for atoms and bonds, unless you want to finish your notes on your deathbed).
    • Your three types of arrows: electron flow, actual steps in the reaction (think intermediates) and steps you may take to make it clearer for you but that happen at the same time.
    • Formal charges
    • The electrons that stay with its original atom and the ones that are given/shared, if you’re like me and you like your mechanisms to be spelled out.
    • This is not an excuse to go nuts with the coloring, 3 colors are enough. Personally, I use purple for molecules, electrons and reaction arrows, black for electron flow arrows and charges and light blue for clarification step arrows. Also optional but to denote a homolytic fission I usually write a blue line perpendicular to the bond. Similarly, if two atoms share one electron each, instead of just one them donating both electrons, I link said electrons with blue.
    • Remember to be consistent, otherwise you’ll end up like me, looking at your notes from the beginning of the semester and wondering if that dash is a bond or a -1 formal charge (to avoid this, preferably circle formal charges. Lol I never do this but I should).
  5. Flashcards are so helpful! Write the reactants on one side and the mecanism and products on the other. Test yourself until you are one with the electrons.

  6. If it’s a concerted mechanism, number the arrows. You’ll thank yourself a month from now.

  7. Khanacademy. Khanacademy will save your butt when it comes to mechanisms. Chemwiki is likely to have anything that Khanacademy doesn’t. If it isn’t in either of those, Google images just became your new best friend. Books also tend to explain those nicely but I personally find them to be poorly structured and they usually include much more info than what you’ll actually be requiered to know. If you have the time to read two pages on a reaction though, by all means go for it.

  8. Study in advance. Good luck studying for your final two days before if you don’t understand the mechanisms and you don’t have your material organized. Seriously, don’t do it. A week before the exam you could make those flashcards mentioned above. They’re a great way to review but it will be impossible if you are learning these things from scratch.

  9. Get your hands on past tests. This goes for any subject but especially for orgo. Try to get a past test or at least ask an upper-classman who’s taken orgo with that professor. Does his/her tests focus on mechanisms? Retrosynthesis? Or does he/she give you the reactants and ask what the product is or what environment they should be in to obtain x? Ideally, you should be able to answer any of these if you know the material. However, if they focus on retrosynthesis, it may be a little tricky, so make sure to cater your study techniques to that.

  10. You should also check out @colllegeruled’s Surviving Organic Chemistry, it’s super helpful and it has lots of resources (seriously, you introduced me to Khanacademy, I OWE YOU MY LIFE).

So, this is what I can offer so far. I hope it shines at least a faint light into the dark path that is organic chemistry.

Other masterposts

Melted

AN: You should be warned…this fic is almost 6,000 words of Nessian. Most of that is smut. NSFW. This is the longest single fanfiction I have written on this site. This turned out to be so much more fun than I thought it was, and I totally ended up loving them and exploring who they are the dynamic between them. They are very new characters for me to be writing and I haven’t uite gotten the hang of them yet but…holy cow. This was fun. This was inspired by @blogtealdeal ’s post which you can find here. This is also dedicated to the other two thirds of the Night Court Queens, @illyriantremors and @kitashiwrites . Also, yes, you can have your virginity taken and feel no pain. Ask my roommate ;) Also this fic doesn’t 100% make sense with the timeline: just pretend. <3 And enjoy!

Nesta was thoroughly unimpressed.

First she’d been angry. Furious. Livid. Seeing Elain break down in the corner of the cabin they were essentially being held captive in had made her blood boil. Literally. The first time Elain had broken down and cried, Nesta had accidentally charred the edges of her own dress, the chiffon smoking beneath her fingertips.

Curse her Fae body.

Curse the Cauldron.

Curse the Mother for letting this happen to her. For letting this happen to Elain.

For letting this happen to Feyre.

A small part of her wanted to blame her youngest sister for all of this. A small voice in her head still whispered If she and her High Lord hadn’t come slinking around and used us to get to the mortal queens, none of this would have happened.

But with that voice spoke another in answer, one that she’d ignored for too long. One that she couldn’t ignore any longer.

If you’d taken some of the responsibility for feeding your younger sisters, Feyre would never have entered Prythian in the first place.

And now…now that she had to control her anger so she didn’t accidentally burn the place down, now that she and Elain were stuck in this melty, drippy world that promised spring, now that the terror of becoming Fae had worn off…

She was unimpressed.

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Favor

Your weekly Sunday night oneshot based on the new episode! Spoilers below. 

Jon and Dany have another goodbye besides the one we see in the show. 

She knows she shouldn’t be going to his chambers, knows that there’s nothing she can say that will change his mind…but she has to try. 

Her feet travel of their own accord, mind spinning. stomach churning. She feels slightly ill and she doesn’t know why; it’s the same sick fear that’s hovered in her chest ever since Tyrion brought up the idea of a wight hunt in the first place and doubled when Jon volunteered to lead it. 

Come now, Daenerys. You can’t say that you like him now, after all that’s happened? He’s still your enemy. 

She shakes her head, even though there’s no one around to see her. Not an enemy. A friend. 

He has to be a friend, doesn’t he? Friends are people who smile when you smile, who make your heart fill with joy when you step into a room, and can make you laugh without trying. And Jon does that. She never realized it until now, never realized how much she might grow to love him until she might never see him again. 

She knows that it’s for the best. She was never supposed to like him, to see him as anything more than a subject. But here she is, outside his closed door, with her hand raised to knock and her heart in the back of her throat. 

She’s startled when the door opens and almost hits her in the face. Jon looks surprised to find her there, though she supposes that of course he would be. She’s almost surprised to be here herself. “Your Grace.”

“May I come in?”

He looks surprised, but waves her inside. “As you wish.”

She examines the room carefully-it’s spotless, as it was when he arrived. A trunk sits at the foot of his bed, packed and locked securely; there’s no other trace that he was here at all. Nothing to remember him by. He was only ever passing through anyway. He needed you, to fight in the wars to come. “You’re packed.”

He nods. “We need to leave soon, before the waves get too rough.” 

There’s a silence between them, not companionable like most of their silences are, but fraught with unspoken tension. He knows why she’s here. He must. “Lord Snow-”

He sighs, deeply. “I have to lead them, your Grace. I’m their king. I swore an oath to protect them.” He’s so beautiful in the light filtering in from the window, shining off his dark eyes and hair. 

Not for the first time, she wonders how it would feel loose and woven around her fingers. 

“Don’t you trust me?” He throws his words back at her. 

She nods. “I trust you. But I don’t trust the dead men. You must know how dangerous it is-”

“It’s always been dangerous, your Grace. It always will be. But that won’t change until we fight them, and I can’t fight two wars at once. If this is what it takes to convince Cersei-”

“How do you know she’ll even agree to meet? How do you know she’ll agree to an armistice?” 

She can pinpoint the exact moment he snaps. “Well, it’s better than staying here and doing nothing.” 

“You’re no good to them dead.”

He’s silent for a minute as he looks at her, with something like surprise in his eyes. “I wouldn’t think that you’d care.”

“Me neither.” But maybe I do. A little bit. She looks down at the ring on her finger, twisting it around nervously. She can see her reflection in the bright silver, in the white mother of pearl inlay and the tiny three headed dragon sigil cut into the back. “You’re not what I expected.” 

“People very rarely are. You’ve certainly found ways to surprise me, your Grace.” 

“You touched Drogon. Weren’t you frightened?”

He looks taken aback. “I didn’t mean to. It just…I don’t know how to explain it. I could just feel that he wouldn’t hurt me.”

“That would be a hard thing to explain to your sister.”

His smile looks unexpected-and genuine. “You’re the Dragon Queen. I’m sure you would find a way, if you set your mind to it. Like you’ll win the war against Cersei and get your throne.” He doesn’t say what she knows he’s thinking: if you don’t die in the one against the dead. 

Come to my coronation. I’ll save you a seat.” 

“Maybe I will.” For a moment he looks almost confused…and then he looks away from her, almost embarrassed. “You asked me, earlier, about what Ser Davos said-”

She interrupts him, even though all she wants to do is listen to him talk. She’d listen to the cadence of his voice for hours and hours, if only it would make him stay. “Don’t tell me now. You can tell me when we see each other next, whenever that might be.”

A faint smile plays across his features. “Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

“I’m counting on it.” She slips the ring off her finger and places it in his palm. It’s far bigger than hers but it’s warm and soft. He looks down at her in disbelief as she curls his fingers around it, holding it tightly. “Take this, please. As a token of my favor in the battles to come.”

His expression is unreadable, but there’s a look in his eyes that makes her wonder if he’s about to kiss her. “Your Grace-”

“I insist.” The words take a bit of effort to get out, because she’s not used to saying them. “Your Grace.” 

He’s still staring at her, almost mesmerized. “I don’t have anything to give you-”

“I didn’t ask for anything in return-”

He pulls her close suddenly, but tenderly, arms holding her in a tight embrace. She closes her eyes on reflex, breathing in the smell of him-the smell of furs and wood and wide open spaces she’s never seen before. And underneath all of it, there’s just a hint of snow. When she looks up at him in curiosity, his lips brush her forehead and she can feel herself tremble under his touch. “It’s not much, but…”

“It does the job.” She disentangles herself carefully and takes a step back, her hand feeling suddenly exposed without the ring. 

The distance between them stretches like a cavern, impassable. 

Until she finds herself looping an arm through his, looking straight ahead. “May I escort you downstairs?” 

“I believe that’s my job,” he says, and he smiles at her-a real smile, one that makes her world shine a little brighter and does nothing to put her fear at ease. But he’s dead set on it and there’s nothing she can do to change his mind. 

Yes, she’ll miss him when he’s gone. She can only pretend for so long, even to herself. 

Next week is going to end me, you guys. Really. 

I write Jonerys fics-and lots of them lol! Taking requests now! 

2

“Better luck next time.”


Bank Robber AU for @ambiguous-eyepatch for the Valentines @aftgexchange!

I had a lot of fun drawing these and I hope you like it! 😃

I realized too late that this wasn’t exactly what you meant by your prompt, sorry about that, but I hope it’s still okay!

The rest of my mini-fic/headcanons/ramblings about this AU are below the cut:

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Supergirl AU

Cat Grant knows her assistants are cheating, she just doesn’t know how yet.

She even knows the exact date it started almost two years ago, when suddenly her constant stream of incompetent aides began to improve, to last longer. All her life her assistants have been barely adequate, but for some reason the last handful have gotten sharper and sharper. 

It’s been three weeks with this new one and, while his performance within CatCo is lackluster at best, he has yet to make a single mistake with her coffee or food orders. And if there is one thing Cat values more than all else its what she consumes; she spends all day creating media for the consumption of millions so what she herself takes in is of the highest priority.

This week she had a stress headache and she sent him off with a screech to get her some sustenance. Now she had very low expectations for this, so imagine her surprise when he comes back with a perfectly made bacon wrapped hamburger (her headache guilty pleasure) and a medium latte with just a dash of cinnamon. 

There is no way on Earth that this Witt fellow should know about that. Her guilty pleasures are closely guarded secrets, and Cat Grant has never explicitly told anyone about her infatuation with bacon and cinnamon (both separate and together). And yet when she needed it the most, he just happens to get it exactly right. This assistant hasn’t even made it a month yet; there’s no way he knows this is a weakness of hers.

Which means there’s a snitch somewhere feeding answers to her assistants.

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Close Call ~PART 1

Some writing to celebrate VLD’s one year anniversary! This may be a bit late in the day, but I was really busy… whoops.

This is the first of four parts, and the parts are just going to get longer, so sorry if this is too short. The next three parts should be up soon. Yes, I’m posting a multi-chapter-ish thing. Today seemed a good day to do it.

Vague Summary: Lance and Keith get captured while on a solo mission… and separated. Lance is very badly injured already, which is not a situation one wants to deal with when in a Galra prison cell. And Keith is worried. (This is also kind of inspired by Jeremy Shada’s “I mean, Lance dies, so that’ll be fun,” when talking about season 3).

Catch this fic on AO3

Psst: @voltronpaella the best beta, @dogsahoy this is the thing I was telling you about,  and @taylor-tut you’ll probably like the other parts better, but I wanted to tag you with my angst anyway if you want me to stop tagging you in my whump/illness/injury stuff just say the word


Keith woke up to an empty cell. The room was dimly lit, a faint purple glow  making it just possible to see. As his eyes adjusted, the ache on the back of his head reminded him of exactly how he ended up here.

Keith supposed he should feel lucky. After all, once the sentries surrounded him, he figured they’d just kill him. Still, it was hard to feel optimistic when he was stuck in a Galra prison cell with no hope of escape.

It’d been no one’s fault, really. The rebel group Matt was a part of had been reported captured, and taken into this prison base. They had to act fast, before the prisoners were sent off to other locations. Two of the Paladins infiltrated, while the rest monitored from the castle, opting for a stealth job.

And, like so many other plans before it, everything had gone to shit.

Keith had been holding off a large crowd of sentries, but once Lance’s location was discovered—

Lance.

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The Only Exception (Part 4)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,873

Warnings: language, fluff, angst, sarcasm, hot firemen

A/N: So many of you were right on. But what’s the fallout now? PS - I had a lot of writer’s block, so I don’t know how I feel about this, but I had to push forward with the story or I’d end up abandoning it.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 -

Originally posted by upper-east-side-elite

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Request: Loved

Request: May I request Mary (season 12 reference) coming to the bunker with dean and meeting the reader (she is a relationship with dean and told his mother about her)? :)

Word count: 1,130

<3

“Dean?” Your voice is barely a breath as you answer the phone, escaping as a transparent cloud on the cool spring air. It can’t be him – Amara and the bomb and Chuck and Rowena and… all of the jumbled, clouded images flit through your head at once and then disappear completely as he speaks again.

“Yeah, it’s me. Y/N, where the hell are you? Were you with Sam?” He cuts to the chase, and you quickly pick up on the panic in his voice – you’d know it anywhere on Earth.

“No.” There’s more shame in the word than you’d like him to hear – it wasn’t that you’d abandoned them. It wasn’t at all. It was more that the goodbye with Dean had been too much for you to bear, and you needed a few hours to be alone with your thoughts. The world may have been saved, but yours had been irreparably shattered, “And I’m about a mile away from the bunker. Probably less.”

“Good. Sam’s gone, there’s blood, and- and-“ His voice sputters and dies, “I can explain when you get here. Can you just…?”

You don’t have to pause, “Give me a minute. Maybe five.” You tell him, and then he’s ended the call – and that’s how you know it’s him, not some sick perversion like it was last time or a cheap imitation: there’s no goodbye, no ‘see you soon’. That’s it, it’s a given that you’ll be there.

***

“Dean?” The door creaks and clanks as you haul it open, gun in one hand. You creep down the stairs, not quite knowing what threat to expect, if any. However, by the time he’s taken three steps out of the war room, you’re on him, throwing your arms around his neck as the gun clatters to the floor and his arms wrap you up, strong and safe, lifting your feet clean off the ground. Dean buries his face into your shoulder, vaguely reminiscent of the hug you’d last shared – except this one is joy and relief, where the other had been sorrow and fear.

“God, Y/N.” His breath is warm and face scratchy and he’s alive. The last thing in the universe that you want to do is pull away, but when you finally open your eyes and look over his shoulder, you’re startled into pulling back.

A blonde woman stands behind him, watching you both with a mixture of intense confusion and affectionate amusement. You look from her, to Dean, and then back to her – for one, she’s wearing your shirt, and for another, she looks familiar in a way you can’t place.

“Y/N,” His arm remains tight around your waist, although he does let you back down onto the floor, “Meet my mom, Mary. Mom, this is Y/N.”

She quirks an eyebrow, and for a split second you realise that the mannerism belongs to Dean – many of her features do, in fact. It’s only then do you recognise her as the woman from the photographs Dean never has out of arm’s reach.

“This is Y/N?” She asks, and Dean nods in confirmation, smiling proudly – like this is a moment he’d always wished for; to introduce his girlfriend to his mother. Mary takes a slow step forward, looking you up and down – not scrutinising, but examining. Wanting to familiarise herself with you.

“You mentioned me?” You glance up at Dean, but his mother cuts in before he can even think of an answer.

“Oh, you’re all he mentioned. I was starting to think I’d had another child I didn’t remember until he specified that you were his girlfriend,” She smiles, and you can’t help but laugh a little at that, “Oh, Y/N, you’ll love Y/N. She’s so beautiful and smart and funny and…”

“Mom!” Dean interrupts indignantly, his face flushed red. Both you and Mary manage a laugh at that, despite the situation at hand – but the confusion and anxiety soon cloud her features again, and you look between the two of them for a few moments.

“Dean, babe, have you tried calling Cas? He came back here with Sam, and if that’s an angel-banishing sigil I see over there, he definitely was here.” You offer, lifting up to kiss his cheek before withdrawing, “Mary, I feel like you could use a cup of tea… milk and extra honey?”

For just a moment, she hesitates, looking between the two of you – and then she nods, relief flooding her features – an excuse to avoid the stressful situation for a little while, and to get her out of Dean’s high expectations so she can take a few breaths. You couldn’t be happier for him, but you know as well as anyone that he can be a bit of an overexcited puppy every now and again.

***

“So… you’ve done this before?” She asks, heaping more honey into the tea. You nod, giving a small smile and sipping your drink slowly.

“Once or twice. Sam and Dean have too, but we all lost count a few times ago.” At the look of horror on her face, you reach over and rest your hand over hers – the idea of her sons dying and coming back must be awful to her. Especially when her own experience of it seems to be going less than smoothly for her, “They always seem to come back. Dean always used to say it’s because angels were watching over them.”

Mary’s eyes widen slightly at her own words being echoed back from the mouth of an outsider, but she doesn’t seem to have the words of her own.

“There isn’t a day goes by when he doesn’t think about you.” You tell her softly, giving a small smile, “Don’t take that as pressure. But take it to know that you’re loved here, and always have been. I get it, fitting back in can be awkward. But I’m here, and so are Sam and Dean. And if you need to be stupid and quiet and go and get our nails done or do something menial, I’m always up for a girls’ day out.”

Again, she only seems to stare at you, and you fear that you’ve overstepped the mark – after all, you’re practically a stranger to her. But, instead, after a few moments, a wide, warm smile spreads over her face and her eyes wrinkle in exactly the same way that Dean’s do.

“I get it.” She says softly, her eyes twinkling, “I understand completely… what he sees in you. Why he loves you so much. Why you love him.”

All of those thoughts you’d had, growing up, about meeting your boyfriend’s parents and trying to impress them… this couldn’t be further from that if it tried. But you wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

Heart Of Gold

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader (Female)

(Requested by Anonymous) Summary: Reader comforting Peter with reassuring and loving words after being bullied by Flash Thompson.

Written By: @spiderlingy / Krystal W.

Warnings: Angst & fluff.

Word Count: 1.9K+

PLEASE DO NOT PLAGIARIZE OR CLAIM THIS STORY AS YOUR OWN. REBLOGS ARE ALLOWED. REQUESTS ARE STILL OPENED.

MASTERLIST


    You calmly strutted through the laughter-filled halls of Midtown High School with your textbooks clutched against your chest, sparing a genuine smile to the students who waved in your direction. According to the teachers and students throughout Midtown High School, you were considered to be an intelligent and well-respected student. You had grades above an A in every class and did not mind tutoring another student. You were also well-known throughout the school due to your spot on the school’s swimming team. Being properly raised by your parents, you’d grown to be very lady-like, calm, generous, and warmhearted. You enjoyed brightening up a person’s day and helping a person in need. Doing kind gestures would make your heart flutter in happiness and satisfaction. You cared so much about helping others that sometimes you would even forget to help yourself.

    Shortly, you arrived at your locker and dialed the combination of the lock. Unlocking it, the first thing you saw was an old photo taped on the locker door—you smiled at the sight of it. The photo was of you and your best friend, Peter Parker. Your head rested on his shoulder, smiles displayed on the both of your features. The memorable photo was taken a few years ago. When his parents died, Aunt May and Uncle Ben had became his surrogate parents and took him in. When you found out about his parents’ death, you refused to leave his side. You two had been inseparable ever since. Even through the toughest times, Peter was always there for you as you were always there for him. It’s you and Peter against the world—together, you were invincible

      Most of the times, when you were over at Peter’s house, you two would just do homework, have deep conversations, or watch movies and cuddle next to each other wrapped in blankets. Aunt May would walk in to catch you two sleeping the night away together—cherishing the adorable sight by sneaking a quick picture. Aunt May and Uncle Ben were convinced that you and Peter were destined to be best friends, or even more, since the very start when you two had met in elementary school.

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100 things the Lodgers are no longer allowed to do

1.       ‘For the good of science!’ is not an appropriate response to ‘Why is everything on fire?’

2.       Unrelated to the above, Mr Sinnett and Mr Luckett are not allowed to combine their work in any way without written permission from Dr Jekyll.

3.       Related to the above two, Mr Luckett is not allowed in the Chemistry Lab. Ever.

4.       Mr Hyde is no longer allowed to make comment on or imply anything about any of the Lodgers’ sex lives.

5.       Including his own.

6.       Especially his own.

7.       Do not taunt the repair kraken, we don’t want another incident.

8.       Do not make comment on any Lodgers’ height. Especially the blonde ones. We aren’t pointing fingers. Honest.

9.       On that note; don’t make comment on any lodgers’ weight, social background, ethnicity, gender or weight. They are passionate, slightly mad and have easy access to dangerous lab equipment. You have been warned.

10.   Do not mess with Dr Jekyll’s morning cup of tea. Just don’t.

11.   Dr Griffin is not allowed to turn any more mice, rats or similar rodents invisible.

12.   Nor is he allowed to breed the already invisible mice, rats or similar rodents to create more. Seriously we have enough problems with them as is.

13.   Progress Reports SHOULD NOT NEED to start with ‘I can explain…’

14.   Dr Jekyll is to stop leaving his coat, hat and other clothing garments littered all over the society. Or said items will be sold for the good of the society!

15.   If it makes Mr Hyde giggle for longer than 15 seconds, it’s not allowed.

16.   Rachel is not to wander around the society covered in blood, wielding a kitchen knife and/or making ominous sounds when guests are present.

17.   Nobody is to do the above, on that note.

18.   Alcohol is not to be consumed in any of the labs or whilst working. Drunk science may seem fun but it is a bad idea!

19.   I don’t care if Mr Hyde said it was allowed, it isn’t.

20.   Lodgers are not allowed to have a contest to see who can make the biggest “boom”.

21.   Because Mr Luckett will win and the repairs will come out of your monthly research grant.

22.   The Secret Rogue Scientist Fight Club is hereby disbanded and banned.

23.   Mr Doodles’ confectionaries are not to be taken without his permission. Ever. Please, you’ll make him cry!

24.   Please do not laugh manically around members of the public or the police.

25.   Please do not mention potentially illegal activities around members of the public or the police.

26.   Nobody is to suggest, imply or outright state anything pertaining to Scotland being less than great within ear shot of Mr Hyde and Dr Jekyll.

27.   Lodgers are reminded not to fall asleep in the middle of conducting experiments.

28.   Wine is not a substitute for breakfast.

29.   Nor is tequila, vodka, whiskey or anything other than actual breakfast.

30.   The following words and phrases are never to be uttered within the same topic of conversation in any combination: “Necrophilia,” “I hate everyone on this society and I wish they’d die,” “Dr Maijabi’s mystic powers,” “Experimental lubricant,” “airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow,” “the many uses of cheese,” “it’ll be fine so long as we don’t tell them,” and any mentions of Mr Mosley being part mole.

31.   Adding more ingredients does not always fix the problem.

32.   Tea parties on Dr Maijabi’s floating furniture are banned until further notice.

33.   Please respect that no one in the society shares the same sleeping pattern and keep the noise down at all times.

34.   That means you, Edward.

35.   Unless Rachel has given you permission, the Lodgers are not allowed to cook their own meals. We don’t need another exploded oven, thank you.

36.   Do not make potions in the kitchen. You have your labs.

37.   Do not use Mr Sinnett’s pyrotechnics to cook.

38.   Not even if it’s to make s’mores, we still haven’t cleaned up the mess from last time!

39.   I don’t care what your excuse is, nobody is to steal or ‘borrow’ anyone else’s equipment or experiments without their owner’s permission.

40.   “Hyde made me do it” is not a valid excuse for anything, especially when he didn’t.

41.   Likewise, lying that ‘Mr Hyde did it’ when questioned by Dr Jekyll will not end well for you. He will somehow know that you are lying and Mr Hyde won’t be happy when he finds out.

42.   If Dr Jekyll asks to see you, please don’t start the conversation with ‘You can’t prove anything!’

43.   ‘It wasn’t me!’ is not a valid alternative to the above.

44.   Nor is ‘I’ll clean it up! I promise!’

45.   Please avoid intentionally or unintentionally scaring Dr Lanyon. Please, he’s fragile and easily startled.

46.   Dr Jekyll is not to be provoked when he’s doing paperwork.

47.   All the many betting pools found in the society are unofficial. Enter them at your own risk.

48.   This should go without saying but please do not lick any of the lab equipment.

49.   Dr Griffin is banned from the kitchen following an incident where a large portion of food was turned invisible.

50.   Please do not repeat the above for pranking reasons.

51.   Should anyone or anything claim to be from the future, avoid it at all costs and quickly inform Dr Jekyll. He can take it from there.

52.   Glitter is banned within the society. End of argument.

53.   No, neither Dr Jekyll nor Mr Hyde are in violation of the above. They just seem to sparkle naturally. We don’t know how either.

54.   Do not insult Dr Jekyll. He may not react, or more worryingly start agreeing with you, but the rest of Lodgers will find out and will not be happy.

55.   Do not dance on the furniture.

56.   Yes, Hyde does it but he’s screwing the boss.

57.   Do not mention Hyde possibly screwing the boss.

58.   Do not refer to Dr Jekyll as ‘the boss’.

59.   Please remove the above three statements immediately! – Dr Jekyll

60.   It is impossible to keep anything a secret for more than a week in the society. You have been warned.

61.   Gossip in the Society travels at a rate that is just slightly slower than the speed of sound. Again, you have been warned.

62.   If you don’t know what it is or what it does, DO NOT touch it!

63.   If it’s leaking fluid and it shouldn’t, either fix it or back away slowly and hope it doesn’t explode.

64.   Zosi did not eat anyone’s lab equipment, monthly reports or left sock. Stop blaming it on them!

65.   Do not attempt to pick Mr Bird’s plants to make flower crowns. Half of them are poisonous, the other half will eat you.

66.   Do not take Bryson’s hot air balloon on a joy ride.

67.   Likewise with Dr Helsby’s Bathyscaph.

68.   Do not steal Dr Jekyll’s sparkly carriage for the same purpose either.

69.   Also do not steal Mr Mosley’s Hollow Earth Submarine. That man owns a drill and will use it on you.

70.   Please do not mess about with Mr Doodle’s candyfloss machine. Flooding the upstairs with candyfloss might seem fun at the time but it’s a pain to clean up. And it took us three hours to get Mr Hyde down off the ceiling last time.

71.   Clothing must be worn at all time in communal areas of the society. Invisible clothing does not count.

72.   Dr Griffin is not allowed to flip any more table unless all the work on them is his own and he pays for the table if he breaks it.

73.   Dr Jekyll is not to be referred as anyone’s ‘mother’.

74.   The Lodgers must not present any of ‘the wonders of science’ to children without a RESPONSIBLE adult’s oversight.

75.   Mr Hyde does not count as a responsible adult.

76.   Nor do most of the lodgers either on that note.

77.   Don’t ask why Mr Hyde is sometimes seen wearing Dr Jekyll’s clothes.

78.   Or vice versa. It just happens.

79.   Dr Griffin is not to go to West Sussex ever. Especially the area near the village of Iping and the town of Bramblehurst.

80.   The lodgers are to note that ‘It is better to beg forgiveness than ask permission’ no longer applies to them. Dr Jekyll is more than willing to give permission, but do get permission first!

81.   Please do not release the repair kraken on the streets. The general public and the Police do not appreciate its presence there.

82.   Any bake sales hosted within the society grounds are to give at least two thirds of the profits to the society funds.

83.   No lodger is to take the laws of physics as a personal insult to their work.

84.   Nor are they to take the laws of reality as a personal insult either.

85.   No unnecessary science in the lobby!

86.   If you see one of Miss. Flower’s butterflies, carefully catch it and return it to her as soon as possible.

87.   DO NOT EAT IT!!

88.   Do not eat any of the science!

89.   Expect Mr Doodle’s, with his permission. As mentioned above.

90.   No fire flies near the chemistry labs please.

91.   No, Mr Penniebrygg is not building an automaton army. Or at least he shouldn’t be!

92.   No lodger is to go within twenty feet of Mr Tweedy or his equipment when he is working. If you ignore this and are electrocuted, it’s your own damn fault.

93.   Do not send threatening or angry letters to the Theatre across the road.

94.   If you must, do not sign them with your’s or the Society’s name!

95.   Making ‘time of the month’ jokes around the female Lodgers or Mr Kaylock is not appropriate.

96.   Do not try to feed Mr Kaylock dog biscuits.

97.   Do not try to feed Mr Hyde cat food!

98.   Do not feed the leviathan. We still aren’t sure what it is or if it eats or what it eats. So please don’t.

99.   Midnight dance parties are banned unless Mr Hyde is invited. All chaos cause by said midnight dance parties must be cleaned up by the morning.

100.                       Do not let any member of the public see this list.

Touch

Leonard McCoy x Reader

1,666 words

Beta: @trekken81

Triggers: None, but if you find something that should be tagged let me know

Soulmate AU: You thought you were one of the few people born without a soulmate until Jim’s meddling and the touch of a Doctor prove you wrong.

Originally posted by ensignspace


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Liberty and Justice (NSFW)

Eggsy Unwin x Reader x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Kingsman/Avengers AU - The Avengers are a branch of the Statesmen located in New York, Eggsy and Merlin have come to the states in search of Harry and you have been assigned to work with Eggsy to help find the man who may have kidnapped him causing Bucky (Sergeant) to get a little jealous.

Warnings: Smut

A/N: DONE! If there are any glaring grammatical errors just let me know and I’ll fix it in the morning. I’m too tired right now. I pulled these images off google to make this gif so I don’t know who the original artists are. If you do let me know and I’ll credit them. Glad I finally managed to write this because I honestly wasn’t sure how I was going to do it at first but I’m (sort of) pleased with the result. Also, this is still a reader fic but because everyone in Kingsmen and Statesmen going by code names the reader and the Avengers go by code names. Just trust me on this.


“Are you fucking serious? I have to go back there?” Eggsy groaned, throwing a small tantrum.

“Yes Eggsy, you and I have to go back to see the Statesmen, they are the only ones who can help us find Harry.” Merlin sighed. “But don’t worry, we are going to see the New Yorkers this time, not the mid-westerners.”

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pretty-love-ly  asked:

Isn't supporting bee keepers by buying honey kind of a good thing? Like its a double edged sword bc we shouldn't use animals as food and all but right now with the changing climate and GMO crops and colony collapse disorder it's killing off bees and we desperately need them, so isn't it a good thing that bee keepers are keeping bees alive?

Hi there pretty-love-ly!

We’ve been tricked into believing that honey is simply a byproduct of the essential pollination provided by farmed honeybees. Did you know though that the honeybee’s wild counterparts (such as bumblebees, carpenter and digger bees) are much better pollinators? They are also less likely than farmed honeybees to be affected by mites and Africanized bees. The issue is that these native bees can hibernate for up to 11 months out of the year and do not live in large colonies. Thus, they do not produce massive amounts of honey for a  $157 million dollar a year industry.

Honey and the Different Types of Bees

Honey bees: Honey bees make a large quantity of honey (possible due to the size of colonies – that is, many worker bees collecting nectar). Honey consists of nectar combined with a ‘bee enzyme’ that goes through a process of concentration in the honeycomb before it is capped by the bees.

Bumblebees: Bumblebees, in one sense, make a form of honey, which they collect in nectar pots to be eaten by the colony, including the newly hatched worker females. However, the process of concentrating, capping, and the making of honey combs does not happen in bumblebee colonies, nor is nectar stored over winter, since only the queen survives and hibernates, whilst the rest of the colony do not.

Solitary bees: Solitary bees do not make honeycombs. They construct egg cells which they provision with a ball of nectar and pollen that will be consumed by the new larvae.

Honey bees will pollinate many plant species that are not native to their natural habitat but are often inefficient pollinators of such plants.

The crops that can be only pollinated by honey bees are:

• Guar Bean
• Quince
• Lemon
• Lime
• Karite
• Tamarind

The crops that are pollinated by bees, in general, are:

• Apples
• Mangos
• Rambutan
• Kiwi Fruit
• Plums
• Peaches
• Nectarines
• Guava
• Rose Hips
• Pomegranites
• Pears
• Black and Red Currants
• Alfalfa
• Okra
• Strawberries
• Onions
• Cashews
• Cactus
• Prickly Pear
• Apricots
• Allspice
• Avocados
• Passion Fruit
• Lima Beans
• Kidney Beans
• Adzuki Beans
• Green Beans
• Orchid Plants
• Custard Apples
• Cherries
• Celery
• Coffee
• Walnut
• Cotton
• Lychee
• Flax
• Acerola – used in Vitamin C supplements
• Macadamia Nuts
• Sunflower Oil
• Goa beans
• Lemons
• Buckwheat
• Figs
• Fennel
• Limes
• Quince
• Carrots
• Persimmons
• Palm Oil
• Loquat
• Durian
• Cucumber
• Hazelnut
• Cantaloupe
• Tangelos
• Coriander
• Caraway
• Chestnut
• Watermelon
• Star Apples
• Coconut
• Tangerines
• Boysenberries
• Starfruit
• Brazil Nuts
• Beets
• Mustard Seed
• Rapeseed
• Broccoli
• Cauliflower
• Cabbage
• Brussels Sprouts
• Bok Choy (Chinese Cabbage)
• Turnips
• Congo Beans
• Sword beans
• Chili peppers, red peppers, bell peppers, green peppers
• Papaya
• Safflower
• Sesame
• Eggplant
• Raspberries
• Elderberries
• Blackberries
• Clover
• Tamarind
• Cocoa
• Black Eyed Peas
• Vanilla
• Cranberries
• Tomatoes
• Grapes

Check this chart to see which type of bees can pollinate those crops.

While you may spread a heaping tablespoon of honey on your morning toast without thinking, creating each drop is no small feat. To make one pound of honey, a colony must visit over two million flowers, flying over 55,000 miles, at up to 15 miles per hour to do so. During a bee’s lifetime, she will only make approximately one teaspoon of honey, which is essential to the hive for times when nectar is scarce, such as during winter. At times, there may be an excess in the hive, but this amount is difficult to determine and large-scale beekeepers often remove all or most of it and replace it with a sugar or corn syrup substitute. Can you imagine someone removing all the fruit juice from your house and replacing it with fruit-flavored soda? It may still give you energy, but eventually, it will probably make you sick.

BEES DIE FOR YOUR HONEY

Another thing to think about while you sit by your beeswax candle and contemplate the lives of these little fellows is that bees must consume approximately eight pounds of honey to produce each pound of wax! And the more we take from them (bee pollen, royal jelly, propolis) the harder these creatures must work and the more bees are needed, which isn’t good news for a population that is dwindling.

When you see a jar of honey, you may think of the sweet cartoon hives depicted in childhood stories such as Winnie the Pooh. But most hives are now confined to large boxes (a completely foreign shape to bees) that are jostled and shipped around the country to pollinate crops and produce honey. This is stressful and confusing to the bees’ natural navigation systems. Along the way, bees are lost and killed, and may spread diseases from one infected hive to another. The practice of bee farming often limits the bees’ diet to monoculture crops, introduces large amounts of pesticides into their systems and causes the farmed bees to crowd out the native wild pollinators that may have been otherwise present. Beekeepers (even small-scale backyard beekeepers) will also kill the queens if they feel the hive is in danger of swarming (fleeing their file cabinet shaped homes) or drones* that they deem unnecessary to honey production. * The drones’ main function is to fertilize the queen when needed.

We have got to the point where we mass exploit honeybees as pollinators to fix a problem that should be fixed from the roots and not partially.

“At certain times of the year, three or four trucks carrying beehives rumble along Highway 20 every week. Their destination: California, where the bees are required for pollination services. During my time in California researching dairy farms, I learned about an extraordinary consequence of intensive farming taken to extremes: industrialized pollination - a business that is rapidly expanding as the natural bee population collapses. In certain parts of the world, as a result of industrial farming, there are no longer enough bees to pollinate the crops. Farmers are forced to hire or rent them in”
— Farmagedon. The True Cost of Cheap Meat

The Case of the Disappearing Bees

The question of what will happen if bees disappear may not be far from being answered. Over the past couple of years, stories about bees disappearing and Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) have been popping up in the The New York Times, Star Tribune, Huffington Post, PBS, Discovery News and more. If nothing else wakes us up, perhaps the fact that the disappearance of bees has become front page news will. Scientists are rushing to discover what’s causing this problem before it’s too late and before we lose the important environmental link created by bees.

Thus far, there are three main theories/contributing factors:

  • Pesticides

Pennsylvania State University published a study in 2010 that found “unprecedented levels” of pesticides in honeybees and hives in the United States. (If it’s in the bees and hives, what do you think is in your honey?) Some of these chemicals are killing bees, and guess what? The EPA knows about it.

“The EPA identifies two specific neonicotinoids, imidacloprid and clothianidin, as highly toxic to bees. Both chemicals cause symptoms in bees such as memory loss, navigation disruption, paralysis, and death.

Both chemicals have been linked to dramatic honeybee deaths and subsequent suspensions of their use in France and Germany. Several European countries have already suspended them. Last year Slovenia and Italy also suspended their use for what they consider a significant risk to honeybee populations.”

– Mother Earth News

This is old news; this story came out in 2009. But has anything changed here? Not as far as I can tell.

  • Mites and Viruses

With weakened immune systems (stress, inferior food sources, pesticides etc.) bees have become more susceptible to viruses, fungal infections, and mites. Many of these invasive bugs are spread as hives are moved around the country or transferred from country to country.

While there are a number of treatments on the market for the mites, viruses, fungus and other pests that are attacking our colonies, none have solved the problem completely. These treatments can also introduce antibiotics, pesticides and other chemicals into the hives in an attempt to prevent or heal the infection. If these chemicals (often on strips) are not removed from the hive after they lose potency, they can, in fact, help the viruses or mites become resistant to treatment in the future.

  • Cell phones

This is one of the newest theories on CCD and may need further testing.

“According to a Swiss researcher who recently published a paper on the subject, the electromagnetic waves from mobile phones have a significant impact on the behavior of honeybees and could potentially be harming honeybees around the world.”

“To test the relationship between honeybees and buzzing cell phones, he placed phones inside bee hives and then monitored the bees’ reaction. He found that in the presence of actively communicating cellphones (those not in standby mode), bees produced the sounds known as “worker piping,” which tends to indicate disturbance in a bee colony.”

– ABC News

Cell phones, pesticides and viruses aside, commercial bee farming – whether organic (where bee deaths are fewer, but still occur) or conventional – does not provide bees with the opportunity to live out their normal life cycle. No matter how small the animal, farming is farming. Whether you choose to buy backyard honey or a large brand, eating honey and using other bee products encourages using bees for profit.

If you truly want to save bees as a whole and not only honey bees because is much more convenient.. then support bee sanctuaries, boycott the agribusiness and its use of chemicals everywhere. Here I leave some ideas and ways to help bees.

  • Sanctuaries
  1. Spikenard Farm  Honeybee Sanctuary | • Virginia, USA •
  2. New York Bee Sanctuary | • New York, USA •
  3. Native Bee Sanctuary | • Australia •
  4. Artemis Smiles - Honey Bee Sanctuary | • Hawaii, USA •
  5. Urban Evergreen Bee Sanctuary | • Washington, USA •
  6. The Honeybee Helpers | • North West, Ireland •
  7. Bee Sanctuary - The Bee School | • North Carolina, USA •
  8. Bellingen Bee Sanctuary | • Australia •
  9. Morgan Freeman Converted His 124 Acre Ranch Into A Bee Sanctuary To Help Save The Bees
  • Plant your garden with bee-friendly plants

In areas of the country where there are few agricultural crops, honeybees rely upon garden flowers to ensure they have a diverse diet and to provide nectar and pollen. Encourage honeybees to visit your garden by planting single flowering plants and vegetables. Go for all the allium family, all the mints, all beans except French beans and flowering herbs. Bees like daisy-shaped flowers - asters and sunflowers, also tall plants like hollyhocks, larkspur and foxgloves. Bees need a lot of pollen and trees are a good source of food. Willows and lime trees are exceptionally good.

  • Encourage local authorities to use bee-friendly plants in public spaces

Some of the country’s best gardens and open spaces are managed by local authorities. Recently these authorities have recognised the value of planning gardens, roundabouts and other areas with flowers that attract bees. Encourage your authority to improve the area you live in by adventurous planting schemes. These can often be maintained by local residents if the authority feels they do not have sufficient resources.

  • Weeds can be a good thing

Contrary to popular belief, a lawn full of clover and dandelions is not just a good thing—it’s a great thing! A haven for honeybees (and other native pollinators too). Don’t be so nervous about letting your lawn live a little. Wildflowers, many of which we might classify as weeds, are some of the most important food sources for native North American bees. If some of these are “weeds” you chose to get rid of (say you want to pull out that blackberry bush that’s taking over), let it bloom first for the bees and then before it goes to seed, pull it out or trim it back!

  • Don’t use chemicals or pesticides to treat your lawn or garden

Yes, they make your lawn look pristine and pretty, but they’re actually doing the opposite to the life in your biosphere. The chemicals and pest treatments you put on your lawn and garden can cause damage to the honeybees systems. These treatments are especially damaging if applied while the flowers are in bloom as they will get into the pollen and nectar and be taken back to the bee hive where they also get into the honey—which in turn means they can get into us. Pesticides, specifically neo-nicotinoid varieties have been one of the major culprits in Colony Collapse Disorder.

  • Bees are thirsty. Put a small basin of fresh water outside your home

You may not have known this one—but it’s easy and it’s true! If you have a lot of bees starting to come to your new garden of native plants, wildflowers, and flowering herbs, put a little water basin out (a bird bath with some stones in it for them to crawl on does a nice trick). They will appreciate it!

  • Let dandelions and clover grow in your yard.

Dandelions and clover are two of the bees’ favorite foods – they provide tons of nourishment and pollen for our pollinators to make honey and to feed their young (look at this bee frolicking in a dandelion below – like a pig in shit!) And these flowers could not be any easier to grow – all you have to do is not do anything.

I highly recommend also taking a look at this article too as honey is tested on animals, yes, as it says and the article explains honey is tested on dogs, cats, goats, rabbits, mice, rats…

As you can see, there is much more than saying “let’s help the bees by eating honey, vegans are dumb, they need to eat honey because what they eat relies on it”... We can save the bees without taking away the honey they produce, that’s a fact.

Honey is meant as a health food; a healthy food for bees. The more we interfere with their natural processes, both by relying on farmed bees as pollinators (rather than other native wild bees, insects or animals) and to feed our desires for “sweets,” the close we’re coming to agricultural disaster.

Sources

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