this may be impossible to read

6

Runner AU

I’m so excited to finally get to share this AU with you guys!!

This au all happens in a world where the governtment is super corrupted. Everything is controlled by the most powerful corporations and the richest of people. Got money, then you have the power. 

Technology is rather advanced and nearly all info is stored as data. However, it’s nearly impossible for rebels to hack into the systems and gather information and proof to fight the system. That’s why there is runners. Runners use parkour to get all over the city, fast and unnoticed, and break into corporations to personally get to the data and information that can help the rebellion. 

(Gonna continue under the keep reading!)

Keep reading

ok but dave was always my favourite homestuck character and has managed to cling onto that title and sometimes i wish i could be a bit more original since he seems like such a cliched choice as silly as that sounds but just….. hes so much fun to read. 

his characterisation is so strong and consistent but it also develops. his flaws are so interesting and relatable. like today i was rereading openbound and his conversation with meenah. she goes about trying to convince people to go take on an evil almost unbeatable demon. and most people say  i want to, but its too dangerous, now isnt the right time, im not strong enough yet, or we’re making another plan, this can be plan b, but hell yeah we need to take this guy down!! 

then she asks dave and just nah. not interested. what does he want to do instead? draw comics. what has he been doing all this time on the meteor so far? finding ways to manipulate the afterlife - get this - in order to emulate one of his shitposty blogs, leaving his quotes around in ‘ebubbles’ like little easter eggs for people to find. despite most people literally being dead aliens who dont know or care about who he is. like its just so ridiculous. this kid is impossible. how insanely clever and creative and funny and yet so weird and apathetic and passive - why is he aiming so much lower in terms of heroics than all his friends? why is he so damn normal and desperate to ignore what is going on in the face of all this reality-threatening catastrophe in comparison for everyone else? 

also, may not be worth reading into, but interestingly meenah seems to account for his behaviour as being due to him ‘being down in the dumps’ or something which is just so odd since its not something dave ever really explicitly lets on and ESPECIALLY never says anything to meenah about it but implies that the ebubbles to her look sort of like… you know when ben makes that stop motion animation of himself when hes depressed in parks and rec? yeah, like that.

and he literally prattles about bro and dirk unprompted in that conversation too and also randomly brings up the fact that he also sometimes thinks about puppets (’#unrelated’) like argh

theres literally so much emotion and stuff buzzing around just below the surface and he NEVER makes it clear or explicit or easy, at least not for long but its all there and bits are always slipping out haphazardly like hes begging anyone, everyone, from his sister to some random alien ghost girl to notice, and its just so interesting

2

Scientists have created an artificial embryo

  • Scientists at the University of Cambridge may have just found a way to create life — without sperm or an egg.
  • The researchers, who published their findings in the journal Science, created an artificial mouse embryo using only stem cells.
  • While scientists have previously created embryos without sperm — as with the Dolly the Sheep clone — creating life without an egg has previously been impossible, Gizmodo reported.
  • The mouse embryo was created using embryonic stem cells and trophoblast stem cells, which are the cells that produce placenta.
  • Both were grown separately before being combined using a three-dimensional scaffold, and the mixture began to resemble a mouse embryo after four days. Read more (3/8/17 2:45 PM)

follow @the-future-now

Low-energy spirit communication

Everyone has days where we are simply too tired to even sleep. This may make full on conversations, pendulum readings, or even noticing the signs of a spirit impossible. However, working with spirits almost 24/7 has lead me to understand and find some interesting ways to communicate with my etheric friends.

1. Ask questions out loud and wait for the answer.
Whilst you may not have enough energy to communicate in a way to get instant answers, your spirit friends will try their best to reply to open-ended conversations. Often, if you ask a question and wait, you may feel or experience their answer. Falle likes to do this occassionally, if I ask him how he’s feeling, I often feel his emotions.

2. Random Number Generators
Similar to a pendulum, you can use websites like random.org to speak to your spirit companions on low energy days. It’s very easy to establish, put the range of the generation from 1-2 or 1-3 (for a maybe option), then tell the spirit to answer a 1 if yes and a 2 if no. Ask a few starter questions, such as their name, and then you can ask them whatever you need to.

3. Shufflemancy
Similar to the RNG method above, this uses the spirit’s ability to manipulate results. Asking questions and then hitting shuffle on your playlist, the result that comes up is their answer. Analyze the lyrics to form a clearer picture.

4. Come in contact with their vessel.
I have found that if I am low on energy, coming into contact with the spirit’s vessel is very helpful. Even on low days, holding, wearing, or meditating with the vessel has allowed me to maintain contact and communication.

5. Ask for signs.
Is your spirit friend represented by something? Are they called or do they appreciate certain aspects of our world? For instance, let’s take my guide Rolana. She is a Robin and is represented by a Robin or Robin feather. On low energy days, if i ask her for a sign, normally within a few minutes i either see or hear a robin.

6. Ask them to manifest.
Manifesting may not be your spirit’s favourite task, however on low energy days, asking them to manifest is sometimes the easiest thing. Noises, smells, or physical anamolies (?) can be established as answers (tap twice for yes, tap once for no, ect.) and can be effective if your spirit is feeling up to it.

This is my attempt at an informational article! I know it is quite scattered and rambly, however I hope it can help anyone who needs it or learns from it!

2

Hello guys! I’ve been getting a lot of requests to do studying tips so here it is! I am by no means an expert but as a student, I wrote this based on what I’ve learnt as I struggled and pulled myself through my school life!

 KNOW YOUR STRENGTH & WEAKNESSES

As a student, I personally feel that it’s most important to know where your forte lies. By identifying your weakness you would know the subjects that you should tackle rather than focusing on the thing you’re already familiar with. You should spend more time on your weaker areas compared to your strong one, however do not get complacent!!!

 TIME MANAGEMNET

 Studying for exams are always a race against time, thus mapping out the things you should do is always important. I don’t have a strict time schedule where I allocate certain timing for my subjects; however, I do time myself when I do papers. For example, when I was doing math papers as revision for o levels, the duration given for one Emath paper was 2 hours. Thus, when I practiced and did my papers, I would only give myself 1 and half hours. This will train me to do my papers faster with maximum accuracy. You’re also required to have a good grasp of your subject to be able to complete questions faster.

SLEEP & EAT WELL

Somehow during exam periods, a lot of my friends start sacrificing their sleep and food to study. And I can’t emphasize enough how wrong this is. Most of my friends, who do this, end up making more careless mistakes in their paper and thus winding up with lower marks. Lack of sleep is a serious flaw and can jeopardize you paper immensely. If you’re tired, rest; don’t try to push yourself because your brain won’t be able to absorb the information any longer. It’s the same situation with the food, if you sacrifice your meals, you may end up getting gastric that may just affect your performance during the paper.

MAKE NOTES

Well duh right? Everyone makes notes, but more importantly, you need to make notes that you would want to read. As much as the process of writing and remembering is important, if you like the way you notes look, you’ll feel more inclined to read it. Thus, this is partially why I enjoy making notes that look pretty to me.

 TAKE BREAKS

 Never ever forget to take breaks. I’d recommend a 15minutes break every 2 hours. Pushing yourself to sit there continuously will only cause you to lose focus, causing you to become restless. Different people have different attention span, thus never ever compare yourself to your friends and force yourself to sit down and study as long they do. Find out what works for you and what doesn’t.

 LISTENING TO MUSIC

 I looooove music. But I have to admit, listening to music while I’m trying to memorize some lit quotes, isn’t working out for me. Thus, I don’t recommend listening to music as you’re trying to absorb content heavy subjects. However, if its question based subjects like math, by all means. Check out my studying playlist!

 KNOW YOURSELF

 You need to know what method helps you work best. Writing? Auditory? Everyone has a different style of learning that works best for him or her. Some people need to read their content out loud for themselves to hear before they can memorize, however this does not work for everyone. Maybe you’re the type that needs to draw diagrams to colour code your notes. Whichever the case is, its best to know yourself, and the style of learning that best suits you.

 STRESS MANAGEMENT

 Stress isn’t necessarily bad. A little bit of stress can get you off your lay bum and to start doing some work. However, being overly stressed will just backfire and may cause anxiety problems. This is why it’s essential to keep a healthy balance of work and play. Don’t overwork yourself and drive yourself into a corner, this isn’t healthy for you or your studies. Taking conscious effort to distress can help keep a pleasant attitude and mind that’s good for learning. 

DELETE DISTRACTIONS

If you find yourself being constantly distracted by your phone or a particular app, delete it. Lock your phone in the drawer or temporarily delete your social media apps. Downloading focus aps can help you too. Apps like helps block access to some websites can restrain you from falling back into the trap that is distractions.

DESIRE TO SUCCEED

 It is important that you’re doing all this for yourself. Not your parent. Not anyone else, but you. If you lack the desire to get good grades and do well, it’ll definitely be tough finding the motivation to do anything. You don’t have to like studying, but you at least have to want getting good grades. If you desire to have straight As, you’ll naturally fell more inclined to do something to help you get it. However, its also important to set realistic goals. It’s impossible for you to jump from a F9 to A1 in a month. Set practical goals and take baby steps to get there.

 PROCRASTINATION

 Well, procrastination can be a bitch. I started my studyblr account during my o level periods because seeing other people’s notes made me want to study. You should find a way to help YOU counter your procrastination tendencies.

 All in all, studying is something very unique and personalized. What works for me may not work for you, but if you keep working hard. No goal is ever too far. Thank you for reading!

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anonymous asked:

Read your tags, and the dangerous mission first kiss one sounds damn good I'm up for an essay honestly

*rubs hands together* i really hope you knew that i meant essay when i said essay (aka, more proof that you should never ask me about these two) 

i listened to this 

  • the war may be over, but it’s practically impossible for a demigod to go months without being thrown into some dangerous quest and with percy, annabeth, jason, etc. busy, all heads turn to nico di angelo
  • who of course attempts at getting out of it with his incredibly valid doctor note, except even that is not going to convince chiron this time
  • and as he’s packing to leave, will comes by the hades cabin and just stands in the doorway, not really doing anything besides letting his eyes rest on nico, who hasn’t noticed yet
  • maybe he’s drinking in nico—his figure, his movements, his little gestures, perhaps in fear the he won’t return from his mission.
  • when nico does notice, both of them perhaps look at each other a bit too long before will cracks a smile and nico reciprocates before busying himself with packing aka not letting will’s unbelievably blue eyes distract him from this 
  • and then will approaches him and they just do a lot of cute banter that’s light and carefree as if nico might not die today
  • near the end of the packing, there’s a lot of silences and parting lips as if they want to say something to the other but choose against it and instead exchange glances that look so adoring but with these worried undertones
  • eventually, the dreaded moment finally comes after they walk back together
  • it’s kind of awkward and neither of them know why. maybe it’s cause will has these words that are in his throat that he’s desperate to confess but instead he just swallows them down. maybe it’s cause nico is more fidgety than normal and his lips keep getting dry
  • if it’s going to be the last time will sees him, then his heart insists on embracing the smaller boy and getting used to his figure and warmth all too fast. except he knows nico really hates physical contact, and he isn’t sure what they are exactly
  • little does he know that nico really wishes he could bury his face in will’s neck as well
  • but they both settle instead on a few closure comments with half-hearted smiles and pursed lips and nods before nico turns away with a sole backpack slung over his shoulder and his iron sword securely around his waist
  • and as nico’s figure fades, the panic settles like a fire and it sinks in low until will feels sick to his stomach at the thought of nico getting hurt or even worse-–dying.
  • but he waves that thought away because that is the last thing that he needs to dwell on, and instead he walks back to the infirmary, perhaps shaking a bit, and finds excuses to stay there
  • will takes on all the patients at every given opportunity, leaving his siblings worried but unable to do much about it because will is far too stubborn when he’s nervous
  • and when there’s nobody left to heal anymore, he takes out his medical tools and organizes them all and skims over each book on his shelf but learns nothing because there are thoughts that are racing across his mind
  • will he be okay? will he be strong enough? will he shadow travel himself too much? will he know how to deal with injuries if he’s alone? 
  • and then he hates himself, because he might never see nico again and he didn’t have the guts to even tell him how he felt. 
  • in the process, will falls asleep with his face pressed against his arm and an open medical book on the desk. (kayla and austin have to drag his half-conscious ass to the apollo cabin when they find him) 
  • nico, on the other hand, is doing a bit better since he’s kind of distracted with trying to stay alive, even if he hadn’t seen much of anything for the past few days
  • he finds his target’s general location and when he gets sleepy, he decides to camp it out in the natural veil of a forest
  • nico ests his head on the back of a tree and closes his eyes, sighing.
  • the first image that comes to his mind is the sun kissed mop of blonde hair. it glimmers in the sunlight, and he isn’t sure if it’s a memory but the simple sight of it is comforting
  • eyes still closed, he can almost touch will’s tan skin and gaze into the never ending blueness of his eyes that darken like layers of the ocean. he can feel the presence of will, just the gentle and honest warmth and kindness that seems to circulate around
  • (it’s an easing thought to nico, especially in the dark of night with grumbling clouds above and the wetness of the dirt from an earlier rainfall)
  • just as he feels himself drift off to sleep to will’s voice, a simple creak makes his eyes snap open, and he’s immediately pulled from his thoughts
  • nico surveys the forest, grasping at his sword and holding his breath until the monster lunges from the trees and suddenly nico feels his entire body being crushed, the metallic taste of blood instantly trailing across his lips and all the air in his lungs being squeezed out of him
  • he can’t see well, but his grip on his sword is strong and with a jumble of movement, he’s able to roll free from the monster’s grip and stand on his own two feet, immediately going for a direct slash
  • everything is a blur to him but the groans of the dying creature are enough for him to confirm that he’s done his job before he falls unconscious 
  • will, on the other hand, hasn’t heard a thing from nico in a week by now. he keeps going to chiron, asking him if anyone has heard of him and his heart sinks every time chiron denies it
  • he’s tried his hardest to keep his chin up and act normal, but eventually kayla and austin see his condition and force him to get some rest at the cabin
  • in the silence of the cabin, will realizes that rest is the last thing he needs because it makes his thoughts wander and so he sits up on the bed and takes in a deep breath before considering his situation
  • it’s been a week and he hasn’t given any notice that he’s okay. 
  • will imagines a pretty horrible scene in his head of nico and that’s enough to jog memories of nico’s laughter and smile and he realizes how much he misses that
  • so he takes his pillow and he buries his head in that and lets his worry channel through his tears, and it isn’t long before his tears become more like sobs as he whispers things out to nico
  • please be okay. i can’t do this anymore. please let us know. please be alive. please be okay.
  • nico wakes up in a daze. the first thing he notices is that he’s alive and actually breathing despite the sore throbbing of pain that’s pulsing in his ribs. 
  • there’s still the taste of blood in his mouth and his vision is a blur for a few seconds before it becomes a bit too hard to breath correctly with his face stuffed in dirt
  • so nico tries to sit up a few times and fails before finally balancing himself on trembling legs and looks at the creature long dead before him, the knash in it’s abdomen prominent
  • nico puts a hand over his ribs, wincing at the pain and realizes that a certain son of apollo will be furious at him when he returns
  • the thought of will makes his throat tighten and he wonders how long it’s been since he last notified the camp
  • he’s worried sick about how worried will might be, and he trudges to camp, fighting his urges to shadow travel and get it over with because he knows that if he even tries, he’ll be dead in seconds
  • but eventually, he goes through camp half blood’s entrance and a few faces turn to aid him but he waves them off, insisting that he’s fine.
  • of course, he can’t have them worrying now. he needs to get to will. he doesn’t care what happens to him afterwards. 
  • the thought scares him, but that’s the last thing on nico’s mind at the moment.
  • so he limps along the path to the infirmary, getting more numb to the pain along the way and his heart swells when he see’s that blonde hair glistening in the distance
  • will is sitting down on the steps of the infirmary, and nico notices that his eyes are stubbornly focused on nothing in particular, and for will that means he’s thinking deeply about something
  • the simplicity of that is enough to make those familiar skeletal butterflies flutter across his stomach and there’s a sudden bundle of energy that bursts in his chest
  • he keeps watching the peacefulness of the sight and wants to, forever.
  • “hey” is the only thing that nico can choke out with a pathetically wide smile plastered across his face
  • will’s head shoots up to that voice that he’s been wanting to hear for such a long time now, and tears instantly prick at the corners of his eyes when he see’s nico, in all his torn and scratched up glory
  • he’s okay. he’s okay. he’s okay. he’s alive. he’s okay. he’s alive.
  • those are the only thoughts that are in will’s head at the moment, and he doesn’t know what to do with the sudden ball of happiness and relief in himself besides running up to nico and collecting him instantly in his arms.
  • will lets his head fall into nico’s neck, and he could care less that the smaller boy can feel the wetness of his tears. nico only lets out a light laugh that hurts a bit and he tangles his fingers into will’s hair, breathing in his scent.
  • will’s holding him a bit too tight, his fingers grasping at the fabric of nico’s jacket and he doesn’t want to ease up—he’s too afraid that nico will disappear if he lets go.
  • they part, both unwillingly, but before nico can speak, will captures his lips in a kiss with his own. nico’s lips are slightly cold and chapped, but will couldn’t care less because they’re his
  • nico, on the other hand, offered no hesitation and instead melted into will’s arms further feeling his heart swell with a sense of deliverance.
  • he couldn’t think of anything besides how warm will’s lips were and the taste of coffee that came with them.
  • for a few moments, they stay that away until both boys part and realize that they’ve actually kissed—which is huge considering they were pining nerds who couldn’t even brush hands without turning into every shade of red
  • and of course, they proceed to turn every shade of red when the realization kicks in, but it fades away as quickly as it comes because nico’s alive.
  • forehead touch!
  • …and then they kind of realize that nico has a pair of very possibly broken ribs and that he’s kind of slowly dying and now will is red, panicking and angry at him for every reason on the planet
  • nico couldn’t be happier

i am half asleep and this is such crap but i couldn’t stop myself after i started and it’s really long and im sorry and should i put this under a read more tag??

(also thank you for being a cute and reading my tags!!)

anonymous asked:

A lot of conservationists try to maintain an ecosystem that would exist without human intervention, but climate change is affecting every ecosystem globally. How can conservationists respond to climate change while still maintaining a "natural" ecosystem?

Rather than trying to preserve protected areas such as national parks as little pictures of a past to which we cannot return, conservation science and practice are examining how we can conserve ecosystem function, such as fire, and individual species across landscapes under potential future scenarios. Integration of historical and projected climate change trends and ecosystem changes and future vulnerabilities into resource management can allow us to manage ecosystems and species under climate change. Fire management re-targeted to areas of higher risk of catastrophic fire under climate change, conservation of potential climate change refugia for endangered species, invasive species control targeted to areas more vulnerable under climate change, and other measures can help conserve ecosystems and species.

When I was, young and fantasized about becoming a wildlife filmmaker, I imagined I would be living in some remote wilderness meticulously documenting the wildlife that lived there. But it soon became clear that my idea of wilderness was in grave need of revision. In my travels around the world it became clear that our influence extends to every corner of this globe, and there are few natural ecosystems, if any, that are not in some way managed by humans. While working on our most recent film in Yosemite National Park, I asked a few forest ecologists this same question, how do you manage the forests of the Sierra’s in the face of a rapidly changing climate? They told me that they are now looking at climate models to help craft conservation strategies based on what they think the future climate may be. Part of that strategy is to identify refugia, places where special environmental circumstances may enable some species to survive as the climate grows warmer. During past climatic events it is believed that these refugia allowed some communities of species to survive, while others in the surrounding area, passed into extinction. But this is just a piece of that conservation puzzle, and curbing carbon emissions must be a part of that solution, because every species has a tipping point from which recover is impossible. An interesting read that has made me think a lot about our role in conservation (not specifically climate change) is Jon Mooallem’s book: “Wild Ones: A Sometimes Dismaying, Weirdly Reassuring Story About Looking at People Looking at Animals in America” a fascinating and thought provoking read.

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #161 - Star Trek Beyond

(GIF originally posted by @forquicksilver)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #440

Format: Blu-ray

1) The preproduction for this film was slightly troubled. JJ Abrams was committed to Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens so co-writer of the first two films Robert Orci signed on as director. He ended up leaving production though, taking his cinematographer with him, and it was a little while before Justin Lin (Fast and the Furious 3 - 6) was hired to replace him. Writers Simon Pegg and Doug Jung reportedly wrote the script in a bit of a hurry as they still had a release date to meet. But at the end the film turned out really well, so everything worked out in the end.

2) This film was released during the 50th anniversary of the Star Trek franchise.

Originally posted by lovely-trek

Having said that, the work done by writers Pegg and Jung as well as Lin’s direction I think help to make the film feel like a balance between old Trek and new Trek. I’ll get into more details on that as I go along.

3) The opening scene.

Originally posted by readysteadytrek

The opening has an incredible sense of fun and humor to it (with the aliens Kirk is trying to break peace with seemingly gigantic and ending up being the size of a chihuahua) and honestly feels like it could be the concept of an episode for the original “Star Trek” TV show (says the guy who’s never seen an episode of the original series). It establishes some of the lighter/funner tone this film will feature compared to the titular darkness of Into Darkness as well as Kirk’s initial conflict in the film. It is a wonderful beginning.

4) Kirk’s tiredness.

Originally posted by sci-fiworld

Kirk is three years into his five year mission in space (which, in a not-so-coincidental-way, is how long the original series got before cancellation) and it is starting to weigh on him.

Kirk [in his captain’s log]: “As for me things have started to feel a little…episodic.”

Originally posted by wish-for-the-moon

There’s no direction in space, it is just infinite and that is starting to weigh on Kirk. It has him questioning the point of it all. It has him questioning who he is.

Kirk [after commenting he’s now a year older on his birthday]: “A year older than [my father] got to be. He joined Starfleet because he believed in it. I joined on a dare.”

Bones: “You joined to see if you could live up to him. [Mentions how Kirk has spent all this time trying to be like his dad.] Now you’re wondering what it means to be Jim.”

And it is through the fire of conflict in this film that Kirk will reclaim his identity and who exactly he is.

5) The release of this film was given an unexpected dose of sorrow as actor Anton Yelchin tragically passed away about a month before the film’s release.

Originally posted by acebodhi

There is a scene early in the film where Bones and Kirk drink some Scotch they found in Chekov’s locker. They pour three glasses, the third one being for “absent friends” (as in those we’ve lost who could not be here now). The absent friend I believe was meant to be Kirk’s later father, who the pair are talking about. But in the wake of Anton Yelchin’s passing the scene takes on a much more somber meaning and feels more like a tribute to him. After the film’s release I read on IMDb that the scene was included to pay tribute to Yelchin, but I can no longer find that piece of trivia suggesting it may have been false. Either way, it is impossible to divorce Chekov from that scene or the unintended tribute it pays to the late actor. I’m going to miss seeing you in the movie, Anton.

Originally posted by captainprincesskk

Originally posted by marcusspector

6) Yorktown.

Originally posted by whichisnone

Yorktown is quite possibly the stand out new element introduced into the film. The space station/outpost/colony/whatever is visually outstanding. Most space stations in film are defined by rigid edges and sharp boundaries but Yorktown is circular. It’s fluid, it’s organic, it moves into and through each other like a planet. Some of the camera tricks and technical aspects used to show off this new location is great. It also has an incredible atmosphere to it which ties directly into the sense of hope this franchise is all about. The air is clean, the sky is bright, multiple alien species are working in unity, and Giacchino’s again excellent score just lifts up the sense of optimism that bleeds through this place. It is a wonderful addition to not only this film but Trek lore as a whole.

7) This film introduces what I believe is Star Trek’s first canon gay character by revealing that John Cho’s Hikaru Sulu is in a partnership with another man.

(GIF originally posted by @maclexa-bane​)

However, this decision had one person surprisingly against it. Original Sulu actor and LGBT activist George Takei himself. Here is an excerpt from an article covering this in the Hollywood Reporter.

“I’m delighted that there’s a gay character,” he tells The Hollywood Reporter. “Unfortunately, it’s a twisting of Gene’s creation, to which he put in so much thought. I think it’s really unfortunate.”

Takei would take to social media a week later to clarify - but not disavow - his statement.

“I hoped instead that [Star Trek creator] Gene Roddenberry’s original characters and their backgrounds would be respected. How exciting it would be instead if a new hero might be created, whose story could be fleshed out from scratch, rather than reinvented. To me, this would have been even more impactful.”

I personally disagree with Takei. As a film student I can say that there seems to be this strange devotion to the “vision” of something. A decision will or won’t be made based on its support of the “original vision”. The original vision of something is almost totally irrelevant to what something actually is, however. Takei’s statements seem to be largely out of his respect for original creator Gene Rodenberry, which I can understand. But imagine some gay kid today LOVES the Star Trek movies and its characters. That kid is not going to care about Gene Rodenberry’s original vision, he is going to care about what Star Trek is today. I think seeing an already established (and incredibly important character) like Sulu express his sexuality in an open and accepted way is very much in line with what Star Trek is today (and will also have more of an impact on that kid than introducing a new character who they have no emotional investment in, but that’s just my personal belief).

The franchise has transcended Rodenberry or any one person involved. It is about unity (a major theme in this film), diversity, tolerance, and hope. And as long as it respects these core beliefs which make Star Trek what it is than I think it does more than respect Rodenberry’s original vision. It respects Star Trek.

8) I am going to talk about Spock and Uhura’s breakup and Spock Prime’s death, I promise. Just later.

9) Even though JJ Abrams did NOT direct this film, Greg Grunberg is still featured in it!

Grunberg is JJ Abrams’ lucky charm, appearing in almost all his films (notably absent from Star Trek into Darkness) in one form or another. And even though Abrams serves only as producer on this flick Grunberg still gets a part. Yay!

10) I like that Commodore Paris (one of the Starfleet higher ups at Yorktown) takes the time to say this to Kirk:

Commodore Paris: “It isn’t uncommon you know, even for a captain. To want to leave.”

It’s a common problem people have in life, the loss of identity. And of course it makes sense that it happens to Starfleet officers. Nothing is defined in space. It’s just space.

11) The skirmish between Kraal’s crew and the Enterprise is great.

Originally posted by cloudscity

As a way of introducing the primary plot into the film, it shows a clear lack of preparedness on the part of the Enterprise crew which is a great place to start the conflict and move forward. A, “started from the bottom,” type way. The film opening with such a heavy thrashing and the destruction of the Enterprise leaves a strong impact on the audience. You know these bad guys are people you do not want to mess with, you don’t even want to be in the same room as them. They just took down one of the best starships ever in a matter of minutes. The scene features great action, nice surprises, and is incredibly well paced. As the first major action set piece for the film, it is truly great.

12)

Kirk: “Abandon ship, Mr. Sulu.”

There is literally NO question from Sulu and only a the hesitation needed to process that request. He doesn’t even say, “Sir?” There’s no doubt in his mind. That is how much he trusts his captain and that is how well he knows his ship to admit when it’s done.

13) Idris Elba as Krall.

Originally posted by entertainmentweekly

I will forever be upset that Suicide Squad won the Oscar for Best Achievement in Makeup and Hairstyling when this film is PACKED with some of the most amazing practical creatures and aliens I have seen in years. You don’t have to look any further than Krall to see that. Idris Elba is not giving an animated performance, he’s not motion capture (not to knock motion capture actors, they’re some of the most under appreciated geniuses in Hollywood). That’s him. He is able to deliver a menacing and powerful performance through strong physicality. Elba does not play Krall as human and he shouldn’t. A huge factor for the character is that he’s lost his humanity. He is a beastly shade of his former self, motivated only by madness. I think Krall may be the best villain of this new trilogy (although it’s hard for me to be objective because Nero is still my favorite). Honestly, Elba freaking kills it as Krall and I don’t think they could have cast anyone to do a better job.

From a writing standpoint, Krall just gets more and more interesting as the film goes on.

Krall [after Uhura claims he has made an act of war against the federation]: “Federation act of war!”

But more on this later.

14) This film benefits from unique groupings for a good part of the film. Bones/Spock are the most prominent, but it’s not often you get to see Kirk and Chekov interact one-on-one or Uhura and Sulu. But for now, let’s talk about Bones & Spock.

Originally posted by iamtribblesome

I don’t think Bones and Spock get as much one on one time as they do in this film and I am so grateful for that. It provides a unique examination of their usually humorously tense interactions which was touched upon in The Search for Spock. I’ll discuss this more as I go (in one scene in particular), but they are able to be vulnerable around each other. Let their guards down, be totally honest, and make their friendship even stronger.

15) Sofia Boutella as Jaylah.

Originally posted by phaenix

I fucking love Jaylah. So much. I want more Jaylah.

To start, her design is incredibly unique and memorable. It helps her standout from not only the rest of the Enterprise crew but the rest of the inhabitants on the planet as well. And from the strong visual you are able to build into a living, breathing, unique character. She fits into the crew dynamics (particularly through her relationship with Scotty) wonderfully well and she is a kick ass queen. She is a technical genius with no training or teaching, able to set up a number of booby traps/cloak the Franklin/keep auxiliary power going. She has this deep pain that is in direct relation to Kirk’s. Her father - her entire family - died trying to save her, just as Kirk’s did. She has fears, she has strengths, she loves punk music! Jaylah on paper is amazing and actress Sofia Boutella is incredible in the part. Boutella is able to portray all of Jaylah’s wonderful layers - her badass exterior, her painful past, her growth and dealing with her fears - beautifully. Boutella is a star on the rise in Hollywood (already having starred in Kingsman and appearing as the title character in the new Mummy film coming out soon) and to date this is - I think - her best performance. She is just SO good.

A quick final note: it has been said by the filmmakers that they will not be recasting Chekov after Anton Yelchin’s death. I want Jaylah to take his place on the bridge. Because I fucking love Jaylah.

16) The relationship Jaylah and Scotty forge is so fun and heartfelt. Jaylah is able to constantly surprise Scotty and show that she’s his equal in a lot of ways, but when it comes to the pain of her past Scotty is able to help her deal with that. It’s one of my favorite relationships explored in the film and I hope to see it continue in the future.

17) The relationship with Kirk and Chekov is explored a little more subtly than say Bones and Spock but it is still there. The fact that Kirk is able to signal Chekov to help him trap the traitor amongst their midsts, and then of course this wonderful piece of dialogue.

Originally posted by alecc-bane

(GIFs originally posted by @alecc-bane​)

Seeing any two characters have this back and forth suggests they’ve done it before. There’s a comfort there that Chekov is able to talk to Kirk so honestly about his doubts and…I’m sorry, I’m just laughing thinking about this scene. I love the exchange between the pair.

18) So it later turns out that Krall is a captain named Edison from VERY early in the Federation’s life span.

Krall: “Federation has taught you that conflict should not exist.”

Krall [MUCH later]: “We knew pain, we knew terror. Struggle made us strong. Not peace, not unity.”

He is an outdated relic, an ancient ideology in a progressive time who thinks HIS way of life was right. And he’s willing to commit mass genocide because of his outdated and hateful ways. There’s also a lose of identity there, as he tells Kirk in the climax, “I’ve missed being me.” That lose of identity in the face of infinite space is exactly what Kirk is at risk of going through, so there’s a connection there between the two that ties back in to Kirk’s main conflict (something that I love). All in all, Krall’s pain is utterly unique in the Star Trek films I’ve seen and I am impressed with the elegance they were able to write it.

19) Spock and Bones having a heart-to-heart about where Spock is in life is one of the best scenes in the film.

Originally posted by thors

It is in this moment when Spock is at his most vulnerable, and it’s with Bones. He speaks as to how being one of the last Vulcan’s effects him, how it was that and the death of Spock-Prime which upset him so deeply he even broke up with Uhura because he thought he had to. He’s planning on leaving Starfleet. But Bones is an excellent friend in this scenes, listening to Spock and offering some kind non-judgmental words. He even gets Spock to laugh! It’s a great moment between these two characters who have been around for 50 years and I think one of the best character moments in all of Trek.

20) Did I mention I love Jaylah?

Jaylah [about her punk music]: “I like the beats and shouting!”

21) If I haven’t made it clear before, this film has some very well done humor. I think this is largely a result of Simon Pegg’s work on the script, but it wouldn’t have worked if cowriter Doug Jung hadn’t worked with him on it. Some examples…

Scotty: “I have an idea sir, but I’ll need your permission.”

Kirk: “Why would you need my permission?”

Scotty: “Because if I mess it up I don’t want it to be just my fault.”

Originally posted by projectcinc

Originally posted by msdonnatemplenoble

22) So 2009′s Star Trek was about Kirk and Spock moving past their conflict to form a respect and kinship with each other. Star Trek Into Darkness had them solidifying their friendship. And now we’ve reached this point:

Spock [while severely injured]: “We will do what we’ve always done, Jim: find hope in the impossible.”

23) I think something the filmmakers really use to their advantage is taking problems and solving them in a creative way through the sci-fi genre (where aliens are a norm and we have artificial gravity and such). A brilliant example of this:

(GIFs originally posted by @trek-daily)

Also this is all practical makeup. Did I mention this film lost the makeup and hairstyling award to Suicide Squad? I’m bitter.

24) The funniest freaking part of the entire movie!

25) I know I mentioned this before, but Jaylah’s past trauma with her family is incredibly strong for me.

Jaylah [talking about Krall’s hostage camp; refusing to take Kirk and company to their crew]: “Everyone who goes there he kills!”

And it is just another great example of the relationship Scotty and Jaylah have made.

Kirk [after Jaylah leaves & Scotty moves to go after her]: “Let her go.”

Scotty: “She’s lost people too, Captain.”

The fact that Scotty is able to help Jaylah through her grief in a respectful but pressing way speaks a lot to me. And Kirk overhears this, specifically that Jaylah’s dad sacrificed himself for her. Hmm, why does that sound familiar?

Originally posted by enterprisingyoungwoman

The entire scene is great for me for those key reasons: it develops Jaylah, it strengths her relationship with Scotty, and it ties into Kirk’s conflict in the film.

26) The entire diversion/rescue scene on the motorcycle is awesome and one of the strongest set pieces in the entire film. It is brilliantly and intelligently choreographed, keeping the audience and Krall on their toes through the use of decoy projections. It also features a fight between Jaylah and Mannix which ties directly into her arc as he is the man who killed her father. And Kirk - who said to, “Let her go,” about ten minutes earlier - risks himself to save her. She’s a part of his crew now and I love that.

Originally posted by forquicksilver

27) Remember how in the 2009 Star Trek Sulu messed up the take off of the Enterprise the first time? Well, I think the phrase, “started from the bottom now we’re here,” applies perfectly to this moment.

Originally posted by toakenshire

(GIF originally posted by @toakenshire)

30) I just love Jaylah’s face when she sees Krall’s planet drift away in the distance. That place was her hell. Her family was murdered there. She never thought she’d be able to escape. And now…

Originally posted by startrektime

31) Ladies & gentlemen: the most badass moment in Star Trek’s 50 year history.

Some highlights:

  • Kirk saying, “That’s a good choice,” tying directly into Young Kirk rocking out to this song in the 2009 film.
  • Bones: “Is that classical music?”
  • Chekov toe tapping.
  • Just how f***ing awesome that moment is. It gets you pumped!

I don’t know who had the initial idea to put this scene in the film, but I love them and I want to give them an award or something. This is glorious.

32) The climactic fist fight between Kirk and Krall is a lot of fun. Similar to Syl’s alien head hiding an important piece of technology, the filmmakers are able to use the concept of artificial gravity in a space station to their advantage by choreographing a unique and fun fight scene.

Originally posted by rattles-the-stars

33) And with this Kirk resolves his conflict of identity in relation to his father.

Kirk: “Better to die saving lives than to live taking them. That’s what I was born into.”

34) I love that Kirk says this but for a weird personal reason. It’s something I learned as a film student and something I wish other directing students (and a lot of professional directors) would learn.

Kirk [after Commodore Paris says he saved the lives of everyone in Yorktown]: “It wasn’t just me. It never is.”

35) Holy shit, I honestly cannot believe I forgot that Spock found this in Spock Prime’s belongings:

Not only is this a wonderful thing to include in the 50th anniversary of Star Trek but also it is something Spock REALLY needed to see. He wanted to live the life Spock Prime did and he thought that meant continuing the work on new Vulcan. But then he sees that Spock Prime was with the Enterprise crew DECADES into a future. He had a family for life. And so does Spock.

36) It’s hard for your eyes not to fall on Anton Yelchin when Kirk makes a toast, “To the Enterprise and to absent friends.”

Originally posted by soundsofmyuniverse

(GIF originally posted by @soundsofmyuniverse)

37) The fact that the entire main crew of the Enterprise gives the ending monologue for the first time speaks greatly to themes of unity present in the film and Kirk’s giving them credit.

38) And now I’m sad again.

39) “Sledgehammer” by Rihanna.

Originally posted by thebadgalrih

It’s not often that I talk about an end credits song for a film, but I felt I should make an exception this case. Rihanna is a major Star Trek fan, saying:

“This is something that’s been a part of me since my childhood, it’s never left me, I love Star Trek. It was automatic. I would do anything in terms of music. It’s such a big deal not only as a fan, as a musician… because Star Trek is such a big deal across the globe.”

You can feel the love for Trek come across in the song. Not necessarily a radio pop hit, I love this song nonetheless. I find it moving and it’s themes of fighting back after you get knocked down very much tie into the hope and resilience which is Star Trek. I think it is a wonderful composition and a great addition to the Star Trek musical library.


I love Star Trek Beyond. Although the 2009 film introduced me to the franchise, this film has the potential overtime to claim its place as my favorite Trek film. It is an absolutely perfect balance of old and new Trek, featuring standout writing, amazing effects, new ideas, a vibrant visual design, and a standout cast (with special mention to Sofia Boutella as Jaylah). It is a totally wonderful that taps into the hope and sense of adventure that the series has always been about. If you were disappointed with Star Trek Into Darkness or are looking to reclaim some love for the series - or even if you’re watching for the first time - give this film a viewing. You won’t regret it.

“What, are you gonna look up more anime, or are you strictly into Dick now?”

A lengthy exploration of Dean Winchester as a consistently queer character, thank to themes he embodies with his core characterisation of occupying both sides of binary traits.

(aka the reason why I lazily shove random things into my “Dean vs cake” tag with no explanation, written out while on a 8hr train journey)

The writing of Dean is of a character split between endless examples of duality, moments of characterisation which have stark opposites (either generally accepted or made up into a false dichotomy by the show) where he appears to embody elements of both at all times. Generally, the less-expected or pleasant part is something he resists admitting liking or labelling himself as.

He may be described as a killer while being shown to be the most compassionate character by his actions in the same episode; his projection of himself as a dumb grunt has been so successful that we have to scrape up lists of dozens of examples to prove his intelligence in arguments, despite one of the most-used examples being in only the fourth episode but is cited all the time to prove he’s not the stupid brother in contrast to Sam’s college-educated introduction leaving a lasting impression there; a lesser example of Dean wobbling between sides of a duality includes his strict favouritism of pie being shown in stark contrast to cake as if he must surely hate it, having declared himself for pie; and of course his frequently shown interest in women is contrasted with extremely consistent queer subtext implying that Dean is attracted to men as well.

Keep reading

Lesson 18: Pop Culture Witchcraft

By: Helper Faye

Live class date and time: 2/02/2017 at 8:30pm CST

Disclaimer: This will be about using pop culture in your witchcraft practice, not as a religion. I know we have some members who worship pop culture gods, I do not however and know very little about it, so I’m going to just talk about how to use pop culture in your actual practice. (manifestation.)

So what is pop culture magick?

Pop culture magick can take many forms: using the lyrics of a song as a spell, using sigils from tv shows or books, using tools from movies and so on. Pop cultures is, for the lot of us, part of our everyday lives, so it’s easy to incorporate into our magical lives as well. It can help with focusing or describing things. It can help to give power to a spell. You can use pop culture to drawn power from different characters or channel them. I’ll go into some more detail on that in a moment.

Why should I use Pop Culture in magick?

Well like most magickal practices, they come from cultural ties and where you’re from. In today’s modern day world, it’s very easy to use pop culture because frankly, it IS a part of your culture. Most people watch tv or get online multiple times everyday. It’s become a part of our life style and a witch can easily utilize that in his or her practice.

How do I incorporate Pop Culture into my Practice?

There are endless ways to use pop culture in your magickal practice. Like I said, I’m going to stay away from Pop Culture Deities as I know very little about them and stick mostly to how you can use pop culture to help in your witchcraft and your magickal practices.

We can start with manifestation.

Pop culture can help you focus and imagine things a lot easier because you have something to go by. This is especially helpful for those who are teaching themselves witchcraft or are solitary witches. For example, I’ve never seen a real life witch use a wand before because I am a solitary practitioner. However, I have seen the Harry Potter movies, so what I do is I use the wand movements from the books and movies in my own practice so I don’t feel like I’m just waving about a stick. Harry Potter can actually be used a lot in pop culture magick. If you’re having trouble connecting or “seeing” your astral familiar, you can use your wand or imagine your familiar as you would a patronus. Some people even call their familiars a patronus because it’s easier for them to connect with that term.

Another example is a shielding spell. For most people, they imagine a sphere surrounding them that bounces away negative energy or so on. For me, that’s really hard to imagine and form around myself. But I figured out an easy way to help myself envision a bubble around me. In the TV show Steven Universe, Steven has the ability to manifest a shield from his gem, but also a bubble around himself to keep him safe. If I’m needing shielding on a particular day. I sit down for a moment, I imagine that there is a gem in me that creates this bubble around me like Steven’s does, and I haven’t had any problems since manifesting a protective shield.

Spells and curses can be amped up with pop culture ties as well. Emoji spells and curses can be created and charged with reblogs. You can use spells or curses from popular TV shows like Charmed or Witches of Eastend that are already written for you. I like to use lyrics from songs and music as a spell in itself. For example if I’m wanting to bring myself power or ask the spirits or gods to guide me on my journey, I might sing the song “Steady as a Beating Drum” from the movie Pocahontas. If I’m doing a strength spell or a spell to keep people from hurting me, I’ll sing “stronger than you” from Steven Universe. Music has always been a really powerful tool in magick and can be used in substitute for a spell.

In addition to spells from pop culture, you can use words or phrases as well in your practice and spells. Again, Harry Potter is a good example. If you’re doing a spell to unlock information or unlock someone’s heart, you could use “Alohamora” in your spell. Also, if you work with Mantra’s, phrases from various movies and books can be used as mantras. A mantra I use a lot comes from the new Star Wars movie: Rogue One. Anytime I feel drained or I need energy or protection, I take a deep breath, close my eyes and say, “I am one with the force, the force is with me.” I repeat it until I feel like it’s helped. If you’re feeling particularly depressed or maybe you have someone who is sick. You can use the doctor who quote, “everybody lives, for once everybody lives.” Or “I have been and always will be an optimist. Hope of far flung hopes and dreamer of impossible dreams.” This can also be used in a spell to create happiness. Even using the phrase, “I can do zat” from Star Trek’s Chekov, may sound silly, but can give you the boost of confidence you need to complete something.

Sigils and symbols can also come from pop culture. If you believe in demons and want to keep them away from you, you can use the anti-demon possession tattoo from Supernatural as a sigil. Really any sigil or symbol from Supernatural can be used. Also if you read the book or watch the movies/tv show of the Shadowhunters series: the City of Bones, you can use the symbols from that as their various meanings. I’ll post an example of those in the reply to voice.

Pop culture magick is incredibly inclusive and can be done in so many ways.

Having a hard time making a book of shadows? Make or buy one that looks like the one from Charmed.

Can’t have an altar because you’re in the broomcloset or you just don’t have enough room? Make an altar in a video game.

If you have a hard time connecting with any tarot decks and meanings, you can easily make your own tarot cards with images of movie characters that help you remember meanings. I made my own pop culture tarot deck with artwork I found on Pinterest and Tumbr.

Tools can also be something you incorporate from pop culture. I myself have never really been able to find a wand I like or feel comfortable using until I went to Universal. I found a beautiful and very well made Sirius Black wand from Harry Potter. Its made out of fine material and has a heavy rod in the center of it to give it a good weight. I find that the metal in the center helps me channel my energy when casting a spell, and imagining I’m a witch from Harry Potter makes me feel less ridiculous waving it around. 😃`

that’s about it! I’ll open it up to questions now and here’s your homework!

Homework: Write a spell based off of a tv show, movie, or book that you really connect with.

Freestyling

My freestyling guide (feel free to add on)

~~What is freestyling?~~
Freestyling is sugaring in the real world without the use of any websites. It’s a great way to build confidence, keep you on your toes, and to perfect your online persona as well.


~~Pros of freestyling~~
Freestyling is great because you at least know that the person you’re communicating with is a real person. You’re a cute girl and men are going to treat you better when they see you’re cute Vs online when they don’t know if you’re who you say you are. You have the ability to meet a better variety of men then you would online. Why would a rich busy (especially single) professional spend his time sifting through an SD site? Not saying it’s impossible, I’m just saying it’s rare.


~~Cons of Freestyling~~
You may be dealing with someone who either doesn’t know what a sugaring relationship is or is a skeptic. You could still find salt daddies and sleazy or dangerous guys.


~~Where to Freestyle~~
This is very important. Many of the freestyling tips I have read say to look at Country clubs and horse races and charity events. Which are all good places, don’t get me wrong. But those are a little unrealistic for a modest (poor) college student such as myself. The best places I have used that work for me are expensive stores for men. I will say I’m looking for a watch for my dad or a tailored suit for my cousin. I don’t know. Get creative. Also, upscale coffee shops, breakfast places (like Whole Foods), happy hour at nice hotels, and even breakfast at expensive hotels. 

~~Who do you want to attract?~~
Remember, you’re looking for rich and generous men (duh). They often come in the forms of retired widowed or married old guys, middle-aged divorced business men (my favorite), and young married (30s) guys looking for mistresses.


~~What kind of relationship do you want?~~
Do you want to be a spoiled girlfriend or a part-time SB. Do you want a secret affair or shopping dates and fine dining around town? It’s important to know what you want, stick with it, and be direct about it because closed mouths don’t get fed. You want a man to take care of your rent? Ask. You want him to buy you a new wardrobe? Ask. And if he says no, then try to convince him or move on to someone who will take care of your needs.


~~The first encounter~~
Be cute and confident. Dress classy!! Show interest in your POT and even extend him an olive branch. But don’t look too desperate and only ask him for his number as a last resort and only if you can tell he is interested in you ( I would usually recommend not, but sometimes men are shy around cute girls or they feel too guilty to make the first move).


~Have confidence and Stick to what you want~
Some guys may initially not want a sugaring relationship. It is important to explain why he needs one and needs you. This is the most important, make it or break it step. And if anything, it makes you seem honest and unique. And because you’re asking for an allowance upfront, he will worry less about your authenticity.


~~Finding the right sugar daddy~~
Something I’ve learned from freestyling is that there are middle class guys who look rich, dress nicely, and still don’t make enough to support a sugaring relationship. And there are guys who don’t dress too nice but are rich. My SD for example looks like freaking bob the builder. I would never guess he was rich, but he is. And that’s how it is. Nice things such as an expensive watch, name brand clothes, and a nice car can be signs of wealth, but a lack of them isn’t a sign that they should be brushed off. However, if he looks dirty, and drives a beat up hoopty, he is likely not the SD you want. Your job is to look classy and upscale and sexy so rich guys will come to you. And if you do this all the time, you can turn even grocery shopping to a sugaring opportunity.

I hope this helped and happy sugaring

anonymous asked:

"I'll never unsee that" Nessian please!!! :)


@squaddreamcourt , you asked me to tag you when the fic was done, and here it is! I hope you’ll like it! @feyre-cursebreaker  I am so incredibly sorry for making you wait for so much darling, and I hope you’ll like the fic even if it’s not what you asked for. @ the anons, I am sorry for the wait lovelies, but I hope you will like this💗





There’s nothing worse than being dead, one would think.

But a ghost would say otherwise.

There’s this thing with ghosts- or rather, with a very strange and particular kind of ghosts, that actually wins the prize for the most unfortunate supernatural entity worldwide; they don’t know who they are, they don’t know where they come from or how they got in whatever place they end up in, but there’s a couple of things they know for sure: they don’t have a body, they can’t be seen or heard and it takes a bunch of creepy tricks to get a message through, and they are most likely dead.

Or getting there.

And of course, the most important thing:

the first person they see in this strange existence of theirs is their soulmate.

It all started with Nesta’s cigarette disappearing; she started smoking when she was fifteen, after her Father said how much he hated the smell of it, and never stopped since.

So it annoyed her to no end when her apartment seemed to be hell bent on hiding her own cigarettes every time she bought a new pack of them.

Nesta groaned in frustration while throwing the pillows of her sofa in the air and she couldn’t help but mutter, her voice booming in the empty room, “Why do you keep hiding my cigarettes?

She knows that she may sound mad and that it’s impossible for her own house to hide anything from her, but she just-just needs to be alone on her balcony with a cigarette between her fingers to calm down the roaring in her head.

She sighs, trying to readjust the pillows before she loses her patience completely but the sharp sound of glass breaking makes her turn, her heart thumping in her throat-

Nesta’s eyes widen and the breath stops in her lungs as she reads the words upon her wall, written in a deep shade of red with jagged letters:

Because it’s bad for your health.

He doesn’t know many things.

He doesn’t know who he is, what he is or how he ended here, but he knows that the most beautiful woman that he has ever seen is in front of him- and, well, he didn’t see many people but does it even matter when she’s there, just in front of him and she-

She ignores him completely.

And it drives him mad.

At first he thought she didn’t see him, which would make sense because he can’t even see himself, which is something that he really doesn’t want to think about, but he tried to talk, to scream and shout.

She didn’t even turn to him.

He looks at her- not that he can do much else, though he is not complaining- always on that couch reading book after book- and he knows some of those books, knows the titles, knows the words by heart even if he doesn’t know how that is possible- not even flinching and for some reason that he doesn’t know, it drives him completely out of his mind.

And then there’s the smoking.

She smokes so much she creates little grey clouds above her head in every room she goes and he can’t help but think of how much that must be unhealthy since she’s so tiny and he cares, even if he doesn’t know why, but it must be reasonable to care for the first person you ever saw in your entire life, if one can call this strange, invisible, unnerving thing life.

Bonus points for the fact that she is so beautiful she can make his breath stop in his lungs, but luckily for him, he doesn’t fucking breathe.

And then there are those times, when she goes out on the balcony to smoke before she goes to bed and her blue eyes reflect the color of the stars and he just- just wants to touch her, because she’s beautiful, but she looks so lost and he wants to take her hand, wants it with an intensity that frightens him but he can’t reach her, he can’t move, he can’t do anything but watch.

But, for being something that he can’t even explain, he is smart.

After glaring at her pack of cigarettes for three hours straight when she wasn’t home- and while asking himself relentlessly where the hell she was- he saw the damned thing move, and move, and move again until he finally managed to throw it out of the window.

He has never been more proud of himself.

And he did it again and again with various objects and in various occasions, like bringing her the hairbrush in the morning when she left it in her bedroom the night before or keeping her stash of books from falling over, or trying to give some sense to the utter mess that is her house and of course, his personal favorite: raising the temperature - that, well, that happened as an accident: one day he saw her having a discussion on the phone with someone and there was something, the look of complete delusion on her face but the complete lack of emotion in her voice, it made him want to scream at the person who was talking to her.

And suddenly the room was a oven- the first time was an accident, yes, but then it became a wonderful way to mess with her and it didn’t take him long to decide that sweaty and bothered was one of his favorite looks on her.

She never noticed, mostly because there wasn’t a logical explanation for the sudden change of degrees or to the never falling books, and maybe it was better like this.

He doesn’t know what happened or what was told to her during that phone call, but something did happen because she is smoking twice as much now and she’s so nervous her hands shake and what was a five minutes smoke on the balcony turned to her sitting in the cold for hours, staring at nothing.

And he honestly doesn’t care what he can or what he can’t do, he won’t stay here without trying to understand, without trying to help her.

So when she is trying to dismantle the sofa in her desperate chase after her damned cigarettes and wondering to herself why they always disappear, he takes a bottle of wine and smashes it against the wall, the soothing sound of glass against bricks, and tries to write with the dark liquid and even if the result is complete shit, the message is loud and clear.

Because it’s bad for your health.”

He sees her beautiful eyes go wide, but she doesn’t scream.

She falls back on the sofa, gripping the armrest like a lifeline and he- he moves as if he wants to catch her, which is stupid because he can’t, but he tries.

He looks at her and at the wall and wills the wine to move again “Are you alright?”, he asks, and thinks of how dumb he is only when it’s already done.

How can he ask if she’s alright when an invisible something is writing on the wall of her house?

He hopes at least that the wine was of shitty quality.

She shakes her head and he feels a pang of guilt; the room warms slowly, without him even noticing but she- she looks less scared but it lasts a second and then she does it, the thing he hates the most in this house that means the world to him: she straightens her back, her chin high and hides herself behind that icy façade, the one he watched her use in countless phone calls and in the brief encounters with other people, looking in front of herself like whatever is happening is nothing of importance.

The wine moves on the wall creating an angry splash of red.

“What are you and what are you doing in my house.” she says, her voice cold and steady like she’s talking about the weather with a stranger.

I-” he tries to write, but he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know a thing, he knows absolutely nothingand you? Who are you and what are you doing here?” he asks, sounding childish even to himself, and maybe he shouldn’t but he wants to know her name and the fact that he didn’t get to hear it in all this time bothers him endlessly.

She opens her mouth and closes it like the question surprised her and it breaks her mask for a second and if he could smile, he would.

“I am Nesta Archeron, and I happen to live here.” she says while her eyes scan the room.

Nesta Archeron, he repeats the name in his mind, savoring word for word and it sounds like music.

Nice to meet you, sweetheart.” he replies and there’s this adorable outraged expression on her face before she runs to the kitchen and comes back with a bag of salt, tearing it open and spraying it everywhere in the room, trying to do fuck knows what.

The pavement of the room becomes a white mess and she looks satisfied, as if she’s thinking she drove him away.

He starts to doodle in the salt.

She jumps in surprise “The salt- doesn’t it, doesn’t it banish things like you?” she asks and he wants to laugh, or chuckle, or make any kind of sound.

I think that you watch too much of that thing over there, sweetheart.” he writes, drawing an arrow toward her television.

She recoils and he notices how her hands shake “This- this isn’t possible. It isn’t happening. You’re not real.” she whispers, like she’s scared someone will hear the fear in her voice.

This is actually happening, sweetheart, and I happen to be very, very real.” he looks at the words, and then adds “More or less.

She looks lost in disbelief and he doodles a smile in the salt, hoping it would help, but judging by the expression on her face, it only makes it worst.

“Are-are you a ghost?” she asks, and the word resonates in him.

Ghost.

Maybe?” he writes, and that’s the best answer he can give her.

Nesta-ah, how he loves her name- inclines her head, making some strands of golden brown hair fall on her face and he aches, suddenly, with the need to tuck it behind her ear.

“I have a doubtful ghost in my house.” she says, like she is trying to make peace with the fact that, in fact, she does have a doubtful ghost in her house. Or maybe she’s just trying to find some logic in this situation.

It’s not like I can go somewhere else.” he writes, and he doesn’t know if he’s trying to make her understand all of this or if he’s desperately trying to understand it himself.

He tried, he really, really did, but he couldn’t walk out the door- not that he can walk, but, you know- and finding himself splattered against her bedroom window is not an experience he is dying to make again.

And Nesta manages to land her icy blue eyes right on him, and the fact that she’s looking right through him it’s not only words: he feels real, in the few seconds in which she looks in his direction before turning away, he feels real.

Please look at me again.

She climbs on the sofa, slowly, as if she’s scared he’s going to attack her, but then she stands up again, muttering “I am going to bed, I am going to bed and tomorrow I will realize this was all a dream.”

He watches her go, looking at every inch of her, and slowly writes

Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

The next day, he is still in Nesta’s house, waiting for her to wake up.

He knows the exact moment her feet touch the floor, and even if he thinks that it is kind of creepy, the moment she enters the living room with her hair a mess and sporting a striped violet pajama he does it again; he burns up, without being able to stop it, trying to keep the burning to himself without making the room seem like a chimney, but the vulnerability in her eyes the moment she wakes up is something that makes him feel, and he feels this, whatever it is, so strongly every part of him burns with it.

She looks around, trying to find some proof of what happened last night, but he cleaned everything up, because it seemed like an incredibly shitty thing to do, to leave her house a mess with salt and wine and broken glass.

“Are-are you still here?” she asks quietly, and he can’t help but love the look on her face, like she can’t believe she is seriously doing this.

She notices the notepad on the table the moment he takes the pen to write on it.

He finds out with a strange sort of satisfaction that he very much likes the color red.

Good morning, Nesta.” he writes and cringes when he notices that, no matter his attempt at being suave, his calligraphy is utter shit.

She walks to the table, her eyes narrowed and probably trying to decipher what he wrote.

He wants- he wants to shout, wants to scream that it’s just a good morning note, that his calligraphy is shit because he is probably dead and didn’t got the opportunity to check his writing skills and honestly he doesn’t know why he feels so flustered and he is stupid, fucking stupid because for some reason the fact that she maybe won’t be able to read his good morning note since he is the most idiotic ghost ever makes him feel- makes him feel wrong.

She passes a hand through her hair and whispers “Good morning, ghost.” and- this, this is strange, because he honestly doesn’t know how he ended up on the ceiling, but he is, he’s like floating, soaring or maybe flying and it takes him a few seconds to realize that he is simply happy- but then she exhales, her hands on her hips “I understand that you can’t go out of this house, but this is my house and you’ll do as I say. No more tricks like last night and no more wine on the walls, Casper.”

Casper?” he writes, because damn it, he doesn’t know what his name but he sure as hell isn’t named Casper.

“Yes. So you’ll act nicely from now own, because I can and will find a way to kick you out if it comes to it.” her voice is like steel against ice and even if her words should maybe get a different reaction out of him, he still can’t get down from the ceiling.

Got it.”, he writes and he should really, really practice writing because a five years old would totally do a better job at it than him.

She just nods and heads for the kitchen and he knows she wants a cigarette because she is grinding her index and middle finger together, but he also knows she isn’t going to ask him.

He watches as she prepares her breakfast, looks as she opens the cabinet of the kitchen, every movement quick and efficient but almost angry.

As she sits on the chair she looks for him, he can feel it, so he moves the cereal box toward her, as slowly as he can.

Her eyes go wide like she isn’t used to the simple kindness.

“Thank you.” she whispers, her eyes behind the cereal box, exactly where he is, and he aches.

She eats quickly, her morning going with the flow f the routine and when she moves to the bathroom and her bedroom, he stays planted in the kitchen, trying to remember that privacy is an actual thing that should be respected and stares at the wall, finding interesting patterns in the crack of the paint.

Luckily he hears her entering the living room before he sets everything on fire and it’s strange, how every time he looks at her, with her fresh clean clothes and her perfect face and the posture of a queen ready for battle he feels concrete; it lasts a bunch of seconds, a short span of her heartbeats, but it’s enough for him.

He takes the notepad again.

Where are you going?”  he asks, and the letters are incredibly tiny, because he doesn’t want to pry but he absolutely wants to know.

She looks at the sheet of paper, her eyebrow raised.

“I am going out.” she answers, and with that, she walks out of the house, not even looking back.

The edges of the notepad burn.

The thing with being a ghost, he thinks, is that it is a very, very boring business.

He doodles-a mockery of Nesta and her damned eyebrows and her damned hair and her damned perfect everything- he tries to read some of her books-she studies law but has a love for romantic books, which he keeps well in mind for future teasing material.

He readjusts her ever growing pile of biscuits, all of them in different flavors of dark chocolate, but he doesn’t go near her bedroom because he perfectly remembers how just seeing her underwear on the ground led to thoughts and thoughts led to him nearly setting the sofa on fire.

But he’s no good with waiting and ends passing most of his time near the window, waiting for her to come back like a complete fool, moving as much as he can until he ends plastered to the window, again.

When he hears the sharp sound of heels- click,click- he moves away from the window as fast as he can, as if she could see him and the big idiot that he is.

She’s holding a brown grocery bag and the usual whirlwind of questions barrels through him

Is it heavy?

What did you buy?

Is that soy milk?

What do you like?

Are those instant noodles again Nesta Archeron I swear to god-

She places the bag on the kitchen table with a huff, strands of hair falling on her face as she stretches a bit, her face open and vulnerable and he doesn’t know if she’s being so human because she forgot he is there or because she doesn’t care, and he honestly doesn’t know what hurts the most.

And it’s a funny thing, being hurt when you’re dead.

Just his luck.

But she turns, her eyes and their ability to land right over him.

Hello”, he writes.

She smiles.

He flies.

And from his advantaged view from the ceiling he looks at her as she prepares her tea, slamming cupboards as if the last moments never happened, angry with the world again.

She takes a bright pink bag, not the black tea person he suspected, Nesta, but a fruity tea lover.

He snorts, and is for once happy that he makes no sounds, just a quite rattling only in his head.

What starts the discussion is the incredible amount of sugar she drops in her tea.

What are you doing?” he asks after the third sugar-cube drowns in the dark pink liquid.

“Sweetening my tea.” she says, her pale hand moving the teaspoon slowly and he’s mesmerized by the action before he replies “What you are doing is wetting sugar with some tea.”

She reads his answer but doesn’t reply right away, as if she’s looking for the perfect answer and when she does, her smile lights up with cruel delight “And how would you know?”, she asks, doesn’t need to add another word for the point to come across and he is silent, fuming with rage only he can feel and that he can’t express and trying to keep it inside him, to not let her see how deep her words went but he sees a bead of sweat above her upper lip and even as the temperature goes higher, she smirks.

He tries to write something and the pen melts into the invisible grasp, and Nesta drinks her tea, her knees drawn to her chest.

He could tell her, tell her that all the sugar in the world won’t make her any sweet but he sees as she searches into the pocket of her jeans for her cigarettes, so he writes “I might not know, but that’s not really my choice.” he sees as she brings a cigarette to her lips, soft and red and so- “Do you do something that isn’t smoking, sweetheart?

She doesn’t stop, just looks right through him as she lights her cigarette but he can see it, see it in her eyes how annoyed she is.

“I don’t see why I should explain myself to you, since you don’t even exist.” she answers, taking a long drag of smoke, like time doesn’t matter to her as long as she can hide behind the smoke of the cigarette.

He can only think of how her mouth would taste.

I do exist, as you well know. I am just not visible.”

“What do you remember? Don’t you know your name? Something?” she asks, her innocent curiosity so at odds with the smirk of just a few heartbeats ago.

I remember you.” he writes “This house. It’s like I’ve always been here.”

Her eyebrows knit together and just when her mouth opens to say something else, her phone rings.

“Elain? Oh, yes. Oh,no, I-” she looks at him, for a moment and there’ so much in her eyes he feels full “Come here,” she says, “with Feyre. Yes. It’s been too long.”

Nesta looks nostalgic, almost happy, like she’s seeing something, another opportunity, a new beginning that she always wanted.

He imagines fingers-his fingers-on her cheek, tries to imagine Nesta leaning into the touch, vulnerable and open and trusting.

Are we having guests?” he writes. Nesta didn’t let go of her phone and is still looking at the screen.

“My sisters.” she says, but the tone of her voice is full of doubt, like the relationship with her sister is flawed, or crooked and she already thinks it beyond repairing.

“I need to call a restaurant, to get the orders in-”

You are not getting take-out, Nesta Archeron.” he writes.

There’s something that disturbs him about the idea of getting food prepared by someone else for your own family, for someone you love.

“And what do you suggest that we do, then? I can’t cook.” she asks, her phone on the table.

He tries to form a reply while his nonexisting body tries to get over the fact that she said we.

We cook, that’s what we do.”

She raises her eyebrow, disbelief showing plain on her face.

Show me your worst, Archeron.”

It turns out that Nesta Archeron really, truly can’t cook to save her life.

But he can.

How much salt are you throwing over there, sweetheart?” he writes for the third time and Nesta looks at him like she is going to kick his ass even if she can’t see it.

They prepared the table, did the dishes and tried to create a soothing atmosphere with Nesta’s incessant fidgeting.

She takes the salad to the table, her eyes scanning everything as if she’ll find some imperfection that she could use as an excuse to postpone the whole thing.

“I should have never said that. I should have kept my mouth shut.” she murmurs, but the doorbell rings, and she goes quickly to the door and he can hear her counting her breaths.

1, 2, 3

When her sisters arrive there are no big hugs, not shouting and loud kisses, just a sort of understanding of how things are, and things are not very good, in his opinion.

One of the sisters, Elain, brought flowers, and Nesta rushes to the kitchen for a vase, which he lets her find ready near the sink alongside a note that says “You are so lucky to have me.”

She doesn’t sneer at the note, just searches for him before getting out of the room.

The dinner is quiet, aside from the how are you and the what you have been doing and while Elain looks over the moon with joy he can’t seem to understand the tension between Nesta and Feyre, but he sees as the younger reaches out between the passing of the salad which dressing Nesta fucked up more times than he can count, doubt on her features, gripping her older sister wrist like a death grip or a call full of hope.

She says something about starting over which he doesn’t listen as carefully as he probably should, which he feels a bit ashamed of, but he is too busy looking at Nesta, at the crease between her brows, at the way she looks at her sisters fingers around her arm and he knows, he knows exactly what hides behind her eyes, the battle within her heart and pride, the need to hide and sneer and belittle as an armor, second nature, or to let something new and tender grow.

“Fine.” it’s all that she says and he tries to remind himself that this has nothing to do with him and he has no reason to be happy or to be floating toward the ceiling like the most idiotic ghost-balloon ever, but he is, he’s happy for her, for the way the tension quietly shifts to content, for the quiet laughs and for the little clinking of glasses to the new beginnings, courtesy of Elain.

When they leave he can’t help but notice how the house feels warmer-and for once for a reason that isn’t his inability to control himself- and can’t help but love the soft pink on Nesta’s cheeks and how happy she looks in this four walls of theirs.

He can see that she’s tired, so he turns off the lights, makes the house just a bit warmer and when Nesta is already in her bed he hears it.

“Thank you.”

And in the end, he thinks that the view from the ceiling is not so bad.

The day after he discovers that when he laughs, he rolls around, which makes him wonder if he will ever do something even remotely graceful, but when Nesta comes out of the bedroom in a red pyjama full of pink polka dots and little panda bears and a green mask on her face, that’s when he loses it.

He starts to roll around, like he’s a little ball, like he’s trying to roll the head he doesn’t have back toward the ceiling, creating a never ending motion.

I’ll never unsee that.” he writes, but he’s writing is just a mess of overlapping letters that look like a roller coaster, like he’s having too much fun to see where his pen lands.

“There’s nothing to laugh about.” she says, going straight to the kitchen for breakfast, happier than he ever saw her this early in the morning.

You are always a sight to behold, sweetheart.” he writes and she smiles while taking down her biscuits and it all speaks of routine, of being used to each other in the best way possible, of companionship, of being equals of some sort and he can’t help but think that if this is his life, he is grateful for it.


He also discovers he doesn’t like the cold.

It latches at him, goes through him, leaves him restless to right a past that never was.

But within all the things he doesn’t like there’s one he truly hates, and that thing is seeing Nesta cry.

She’s out on the balcony, an unlit cigarette between her fingers, the rain wetting the paper, making the tobacco fall, her mascara pooling under her eyes.

She doesn’t talk and makes no sound, her tears mix with the rain and he doesn’t know what he can do so he gets closer, rustling the leaves of long dead plants to let her know he’s there.

“My mother died ten years ago. My mother died.” she says, like she wants it to sink in, to let it be real because she still can’t believe it.

“And he didn’t care. My father didn’t care and I want to go- I want to go to the cemetery to see if he brought her flowers, a note, something. Did he even love her?” she asks, and she’s looking at him and he aches, wants to comfort her, so he just tries to touch her and by the look she gives him she feels it, feels him and as happy as he is he forces himself to stay on the ground, with her.

“He let her die,” she whispers, her lower lip trembling “he let her die and he didn’t care, didn’t care to call the doctors even when I begged him to, didn’t care for her, didn’t care for me, for my sisters, he hid behind Feyre like a spineless, useless, heartless coward and-”

She hides her face behind her hand, little sobs escaping her lips.

Don’t hide from me, he wants to say, but he tries to soothe her, to make her feel calm and loved and warm and he hates that for all the things he can do he can’t dry her tears or stop the rain from falling.

“It wasn’t right,” she says, finally “it isn’t right.”

He nudges to her a bit, drawing soothing circles in the palm of her hand and thinks of things to write along the lines of if I could make you tea, I would.

And he is surprised beyond belief to hear her snort and answer “You would never get the sugar right.”

He sees Feyre and Elain more frequently since that night.

Feyre brings some paintings, saying that the apartment lacks colors and when Nesta asks her to paint something red, his emotions and heart and everything he is goes a bit all over the place.

He still swears that the book that went into flames is in no way his fault.

Nesta buys a book of names, all blue and pink, designed to help young parents chose the name of their children, and reads it to him to help him remember his name.

Nothing came out of it, other than a strange call to names that start with c, a nostalgic wave for a certain Reece and a strange affinity for Jewish mystics.

In the end, he asks her to read it two times, but it’s all because he loves the sound of her voice; it’s low, but not cold or empty, the kind of voice that sings to lure sailors off their ships, but loving enough to be as sweet as spring.

When summer comes, he feels like he’s been in her house for a lifetime.

They pass evenings on the balcony, Nesta’s skin covered under layers and layers of sunscreen and he can’t forget the smile on her face when she splashed him with ice cold water, like a child, laughing like crystal bells.

Well, he did take his revenge with switching sugar with salt, and the face she made while drinking her tea after was priceless, and this- this are all the moments he will never be able to forget.

Until that night.

They are on the couch, the same couch she tried to climb in fear of him all those months ago, watching one of her tv series, but neither of them is giving the show much attention.

Him, on his behalf, is too busy looking at the freckles on her face, gently visible thanks to the summer sun, and she is looking at him.

Or rather, at the space he would occupy if had a solid body.

She looks away, but her eyes land on him every now and then and he feels a strange sort of anticipation, like waiting for fireworks to light up the night sky.

That’s when she moves, faster than a blink and stops just an inch away from where he is and he knows, he knows-

He knows that Nesta wants to touch him, to see if he’s really there, if he’s real and he wants to beg her, he would kneel before her, just to feel her skin on him, just once, but when she tries, her fingers moving toward him, she goes right through him and he can’t feel her, can’t feel her fingers or her skin or her touch and he can’t, he can’t, he can’t- can’t look at the sadness on her face, can’t deal and live with the fact that they will never touch, that he will never tuck her hair behind her ear, will never touch her, will never-

But he will, he will see her smile and tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her until they are drunk on one another, he will hold her because she is the reason he wants to be alive and real and concrete,  he just needs to-

He just needs to wake up.

                                                 —

It’s been three months without her ghost.

She doesn’t smoke anymore.

Nesta still doesn’t know what happened: a moment the ghost was there, on the couch with her, its warmth all around her and then it was gone and her house has never been so cold.

When she took her degree, she wanted to rush home, to tell to her ghost that she made it and when she came back home she realized that no amount of blankets in the middle of August would ever replicate that warmth.

Nesta didn’t think that she could miss so much someone who was never really there in the first place.

She sits on the balcony, the place full of memories of her ghost like the rest of the house when she hears a knock on the door.

She debates on answering, but the knocking becomes more insistent and she gets up, opening the door with an annoyed look on her face, but then-

There’s a man in front of her, long black hair flowing around his incredibly handsome face, hazel eyes that look right through her and trembling hands.

“Do you still like all that sugar in your tea, sweetheart?”

The Effect of Emotional Abuse on Each Type: INFP

SUBMITTED by hannah-elizabeth-j

^^^^^^^^^ My work is done.

Oh, like a real analysis/description? Okay then.

I’ve seen a few posts/requests on here about the effects of emotional abuse and the affect that it has on each Myers Briggs type so, as someone who works with a lot of domestic abuse victims I thought that I’d give my two cents worth. I wanted them to be quite detailed to give people a fair amount of information so this will be the general format; a general description of what it will look like, how this differs from similar types (ie. the ENFJ compared to the INFJ and ESFJ) and a character in fiction who acts similar to this (may not be for the same reason and I might not get one for each type but I’ll try).

INFP

There will be some variation depending on when the abuse took place in their life but there are somethings that will remain the same.

Ever want to see an INFP that defies every stereotype in the book?

From my experience an INFP who has come from an abusive home will contradict pretty much every stereotype there is.

Chances are while they are in an abusive situation these are some of the last people that you would ever see crying or really showing any form of emotion. Until they get out, there will be no torched art work taking place, no heart-breaking poems and no idealism.

Here’s the thing, as far as I’m concerned you can’t really give abusive people a Myers Briggs type.  In fiction, sure it’s easy but as far as real life goes, it doesn’t work because they all end up as ENTJ’s or ESTJ’s and that simply can’t be true.

But I digress, the point of me saying that was that the profile of an abuser is the polar opposite of an INFP profile (this isn’t me saying that all INFP’s are wonderful people because that’s impossible) the point is that an abuser will make an INFP suppress every part of themselves more than with any other type that I’ve come across.

An abusive person doesn’t want you to have a moral code, independent emotions or for there to be any level of removal from a reality that they can control. The result of this is that the INFP can’t use their dominant or auxiliary functions and stay safe at the same time.

But, since is still their type what you will see when an INFP is in an abusive situation is a person who just seems, for want of a better word, empty. The INFP will have suppressed their most natural selves because the truth is you can talk my ear off all about Fi having its own value system that is totally independent and this is what they will act on but, this changes if you are manipulated and never know one day to the next if you are going to be safe.

Its highly unlikely that they will have any of the usual INFP traits of having personal interests or hobbies or anything that would fuel their Fi or Ne, they will simply be surviving, just getting though the day with nothing extra, you may see an excessive amount of reading or TV watching. Anything in short that means they can be their natural selves without anyone noticing.

So in this stage, they would be pretty impossible people to type.

After this person had left their lives say hello to the inferior Te grip. This will just be made worse by the fact that control is something they have never had(and if the abuser was a parent) or hadn’t had  for  a long period of time.

Suddenly it is ‘my way or the high way.’ They will want to have a say in everything, no one will be able to tell them what to do, how to do it or when to do it. I’ve seen a studious INFP friend of mine get in a lot of trouble when she was in this situation because she refused  to work at school or do her homework. Did she really have an issue with school? No, she liked it. But they were telling her what to do and when to do it by and she wasn’t having any of it. She had a strong element of enneagram 8(tri-type) in  she was more confrontational than most would be. Many would just passively refuse to do things because they will not be told what to do anymore.

When this phase of over, its pretty much just all tears and trying to revaluate everything. They finally have the freedom to be who they are but at this point they have no bloody clue who that is. And I don’t mean in a sense of ‘I’m in my 20’s and an trying to find  myself’ sort of way. They have never been able to be who they are so from what I’ve seen they tend to go back and forth between emotional extremes for a few months. Sudden flashes of anger, then idealism and wanting peace. Then they just want to cry all the time, then it is their sole mission to be happy.

If this is you or someone in your life, its hard and I understand but the honest truth is (as long as it’s not something that has been going on for years) all that is really needed here is time. It will mellow itself out.

Just like with the other types, years later they will likely appear to be a lot better and they often will be.

But in those cases when it is a different story in their heads you will often see cases of people who are disconnected to the people around them. They could at a party full of people having fun feel no sort of sense that this is their reality.

INFP vs. ISFP

  • The ISFP is far more likely to indulge in things like over or under eating, drinking, sex ect. as a method of distraction
  • The INFP will be more liable to appearing detached from situations than an ISFP, despite what they may be feeling, an ISFP will appear to be more grounded in reality and engage with people due to Se
  • Si is far more likely to focus/replay the details of what happened Ni will reply the general experience not the specific events

INFP vs. ENFP

  • Look at the grip, you will get in the grip 9/10 when you leave an abusive situation the way these types act in grips is very different
  • From what I’ve seen when they are at the stage of accepting and moving on from the abusive situation, an ENFP will likely deflect with humor on the situation, I am yet to see an INFP do this
  • ENFP’s  will be see to try and distract themselves from an abusive home by an extravagant social life.

Finally, you can’t find a better example than Credence Barebone (Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them) for an INFP being an abusive situation. And I apologize but I couldn’t think of an example of what one may look like years after. If you can think of any please mention it.

This for the other types will be coming soon. If there are any further questions I’d be happy to answer(send them to me not this blog).

anonymous asked:

Mary Watson as a character absolutely ruined BBC Sherlock. I hope one day you may read the books of ACD and truly appreciate the characters of Holmes and Watson. I have no intention of being rude, but am just baffled how anyone can so misinterpret two of literatures most loved characters.

{{Mary Watson as a character absolutely ruined BBC Sherlock.}}

Such a shame that you think that a great and interesting woman character ruined your interpretation of Sherlock. Even with yer preconceived notion that Sherlock and Watson were gay and in love, I think you could have still enjoyed MG and SM version of Mary Watson. Mary brought love into John’s life and made him happy when he was sadly mourning Sherlock’s death. She gave him a beautiful daughter and most importantly, she became best friends with Sherlock too.

That is the most important part because up until then, Sherlock was the only close and trusted friend that John had (yes Stamford was his friend too but not on the scale of what Sherlock became to John) Mary liked Sherlock instantly and Sherlock liked Mary instantly as well. 

Sherlock knew that Mary was not perfect and that when he read her that she was a liar and keeping secrets but Sherlock had just come off 2 years of lying to his best friend and was still keeping secrets so who was Sherlock to judge when he himself was far from innocent. Sherlock could see that Mary made John happy and Sherlock knew that John needed and deserved to be happy, especially after faking his death and coming back to life.

For John to have Mary in his life at that time was the best possible thing that kept the Holmes and Watson friendship going, she saved that friendship because she knew how much they needed each other, she knew how important that friendship was to each of those men. The addition of Mary Morstan to the Holmes and Watson orbit was not about dividing these best friends, it was about enhancing it, about helping it grow to the next level, which was the brotherly bond that Sherlock and John had.

It was Mary who saved that friendship not once, but twice.

It’s all fine and good you think Sherlock and John were in love, I wouldn’t tell you that yer wrong. If that is yer interpretation of these two characters then, awesome. BUT that shouldn’t cloud yer judgement and enjoyment of the character of Mary Watson because even in the ACD canon stories Sherlock liked Mary. And in BBC Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes loved and protected Mary Morstan Watson. She was his 2nd best friend and they had a bond that was totally real because they both understood each other.

They were very much flawed but they wanted to be better people and they became better people because they had one common denominator, and that was their love for John Watson. And both of them lied and did things to protect John from their truths. They didn’t judge each other and they didn’t have impossible expectations of what a friendship was supposed to be. Sherlock and Mary did the best they could. That is why their friendship worked perfectly.

{{I hope one day you may read the books of ACD and truly appreciate the characters of Holmes and Watson.}}

Honestly I probably won’t ever read the books. My husband who is a huge fanboy of Sherlock Holmes on the scale of the Mofftiss, tried to get me into Sherlock LONG ago but failed. I only became interested in watching Sherlock when I fell in love with Benedict and then fell in love with the BBC version of Sherlock. The writing, the setting of London, the actors that use their talents to bring these wonderful characters to life. The BBC version of Sherlock is the only version I’d ever be into. Fingers cross we will get S5 because S4 was AH-mazing! and I loved every minute of it and I’d love to see them expand on Eurus and explore more of the Holmes Family narrative. I’d love to see John and Rosie interact more, I’d love to see Irene Adler make a surprise appearance and cause some playful trouble for Sherlock AND I want to see how the Molly and Sherlock dynamic continues, now that we know they both love each other. I’d like to see where that love takes them..

{{I have no intention of being rude,but am just baffled how anyone can so misinterpret two of literature’s most loved characters.}}

Anon, no rudeness taken! But I believe you are confusing interpretation with truth. The version of Holmes and Watson, YOUR interpretation is that you believe they are and have always been in love. That they are gay and that is the way ACD wrote them to be, gay on the down low because back then homosexuality was not acceptable. Well, the truth is, ACD modeled these 2 men after people he knew in his real life. And gave them personality traits of the people he knew in that life. We don’t know what the truth was about them. All ACD gave us was the stories of 2 men and their ridiculous adventures and it’s up to the reader on how they want to view this 100+ year old relationship between the world’s only consulting detective and a doctor who became his trusted confidant and documenter of their adventures together.

Thanks for stopping by!

A LITTLE STUDY GUIDE WITH LITTLE STUDY TIPS 

I’ve learned it all from personal experience. Those tips may not work for you, but they helped me so I thought I could share and maybe help you too.
This is what I do (chronologically I guess) when I study, to optimize time and energy. Also sorry for my English I tried my best

  • You study to remember, so try to avoid passive reading. I recommend not to highlight/underline your text the first time you’re reading it.
  • Collect the more information you can get about one paragraph/chapter at a time and then stop reading.
  • Now try to remember easy concepts and keywords about what you just read (reread if you realised you forgot something)
  • Highlight/underline those concepts in the chapter you read and if you prefer, shortly summarize them (just a few words) next to the paragraph.
  • Repeat what you learned aloud until you’re fluently speaking or you know you’ve got it.
  • If you’re studying for a test, you could avoid repeating the lesson aloud and make flashcards instead.
  • Repeat this phases until you reach the number of pages/chapters you need to do.
  • But remember to take breaks in order to avoid cerebral explosion. Organizing breaks between study sessions is totally up to you and to your capacity of staying focused. The complete concentration may last 20 minutes or 1 hour, so short breaks are cool to make you breathe and gather your strenghts. Don’t study for 2874654876 hours even if it’s for an emergency. It’s scientifically impossible for a human being to stay focused every single minute for a very long time. Even 5 minutes off can help.
  • The next day, before starting to study again, dedicate some time to quickly remember what you did the day before in your mind by reading flashcards or the keywords you’ve highlighted/written.
  • Highlighting almost everything may create a nice piece of coloured art but it can also foster passive reading, specially when you need to revise and read your text again a second time
  • If you read your whole book just to have a complete overview and without repeating/annotating, you may think you fixed concepts in your mind but you didn’t and your revision will become harder. If you want an overview about what you’re going to study you can have a general approach by reading the index. It’s easier and quicker.
  • Fight anxiety the best you can: it’s your worst enemy. Exams are just exams and your health and happiness are definitely more valuable.

Let me know if this helped you, I really really hope so! This is basically my study method or at least the method I use when I don’t procrastinate and I pretend to be a serious person and student.

BYE AND HAVE A NICE PRODUCTIVE DAY CUTIESSS!!

Advice for Learning the Meanings of the Tarot Cards

I’ve been a tarot enthusiast for many years. I even did readings for myself, sporadically, for a little while, but I always had to use a reference book for the meanings of the cards. This means that my readings weren’t ever very helpful, because I never memorized the cards and therefore I never developed a relationship with the cards. It’s kind of like only being able to dance when you have pre-painted footsteps on the floor onto which you must be careful to place your own feet. You never learn to feel the music if that’s how you’re dancing.

Several factors interfered with my learning the card meanings, one of which is the sheer number of meanings to memorize: 78 cards! 156 if you’re using reversals! Wow - a daunting prospect to be sure! And even when I would periodically decide to memorize those meanings, I ran into the fact that every book I checked seemed to give different meanings for some of the cards. Whose meanings should I memorize? So, for years, I just gave up. Despite my love for these cards, I gave up. So much wasted time!

A little while ago, during a reading from someone I trust, I got word that I was supposed to be working with the cards. This confirmed what I’d always felt but failed to act upon. Well, I’ve recently decided to pursue a working knowledge of the tarot. I’m still a work in progress, but it’s been going well, so I thought I’d share with you what’s been working for me.

1. Find the meanings you’ll be using
The first thing I had to do was make peace with the fact that different folks give the cards different meanings. If I wanted to begin learning the meanings, I would have to decide upon one author who seemed to know what they were talking about and stick with that author’s meanings. I realized that once I began to form a relationship with the cards, I’d develop my own nuances and associations with the cards. But I wouldn’t be able to reach that place until I was able to work with them, and I wouldn’t be able to work with them until I had some meanings memorized as a starting point. Kind of like how Pablo Picasso painted like other painters until he became confident enough to develop his own unique style.

2. Divide the deck
In order to learn this much information, I decided I’d best break the deck up into bite-sized chunks. I did this by breaking the deck up into six sections: one section for each of the suits of the Minor Arcana, and then I divided the Major Arcana in half. I decided to begin with what I thought would be the hardest part first: learning the Minor Arcana.

3. Turn the deck itself into your flash cards
This part felt a bit like sacrilege to me, but I took the cheapest Rider-Waite deck I could find and started taping mini index cards to the back of each tarot card. Instead of just looking at a list in order to learn the cards’ meanings, I wanted to learn to associate each card’s meaning with the actual image on the card. So I took mini index cards and wrote a bunch of key words and key ideas on each one and used packing tape to tape each mini index card to the back of the appropriate tarot card. I tend to be a visual learner, and this step has really turbo charged my learning.

4. Review the deck, a chunk at a time
I knew that I wanted to learn the deck well, so I got over the idea that I had to learn quickly. I spent the first week just learning the suit of Cups. I didn’t require of myself that I learn the meaning of each card perfectly; I just had to know it very well. After all, I will keep reviewing them over time and working with them in readings, so there will be plenty of time to refine my knowledge of the meanings. I used a sort of spaced repetition as I reviewed the cards: if I knew the meaning of the card very well, I would put that card at the back of the pile. If I didn’t know it very well, I’d put the card back in the middle of the deck so that I’d review it again before I finished. And if I totally blanked on the meaning of a card, I put it back close to the front of the deck so that I’d get a chance to review it again much sooner.

5. Integrate the next chunk
When it came time to learn the next suit, I’d spend a day with just that suit. Then, I would mix the two suits together and review them that way. When I began to study the suit of Swords, I didn’t want to forget the meanings of the suit of Cups. I did the same the next week with Wands, and then with Pentacles. Spend some time with just the new suit, then mix together all the suits you’ve studied thus far.

6. After the third week, make any necessary modifications
After you’ve been studying for a while, you’ll notice that the first suit you chose to study is getting the most study time. So, once you’ve been at it for three weeks or more, feel free to spend more time with the suit/cards which you’re finding require more review time. For example, during my fourth week of study, I found that I had been reviewing the suit of Cups for over three weeks and knew it pretty well, so Cups didn’t need as much review time as Wands did, and I took the Cups out of my review pile for the week.
At five weeks, as I moved on to the first half of the Major Arcana, I found that I was memorizing the Major Arcana pretty easily. I had thought that I would; that’s why I left them for last. But I found that the court cards (Page, Knight, Queen, and King) of all the suits were giving me an unexpected amount of trouble. So, I decided that my fifth week review deck would consist of the first 11 cards of the Major Arcana along with the court cards of the suits of Cups and Swords (the first two suits I studied), and that my sixth week review deck would consist of the last 11 cards of the Major Arcana along with the court cards of the suits of Wands and Pentacles.

7. Start doing readings, if you haven’t already
Once you’ve got basic meanings of all 78 cards mostly memorized (remember, we’re not aiming for 100% perfection!), start doing readings. Doing readings is the real way that you will internalize the meanings of the cards and also how you’ll flesh out the meanings. The meanings will become more layered and complex as you see them in multiple contexts. You’ll likely still need to check your references for the meanings of some of the cards as you do your first readings, but you’ll likely be pleasantly surprised by how often you remember the meanings of the cards. Begin with simpler readings: 1-card readings and 3-card readings. You’re now moving on to taking the basic meanings of the cards and turning them into stories. If the individual cards are like words, a 3-card reading is like a sentence and you’re learning to construct sentences in a new language.

8. Learn (or don’t learn) the Reversed Meanings
Up until this point, I haven’t addressed the usage of Reversals: what the cards mean when they show up in a reading upside-down. This is intentional, for several reasons: 1) if learning the meanings of 78 cards was daunting, learning 156 meanings probably would have seemed impossible; 2) some of you may decide not to use reversals; and 3) once you’ve learned the meanings of all 78 cards, you will pretty much already know the reversed meanings.

theguardian.com
Five centuries on, Martin Luther should be feted as hero of liberty and free speech
The story of the German reformer who challenged the Catholic church has resonance today
By Peter Stanford

In the English version of the Reformation, Martin Luther’s role amounts to little more than noises off. First, he attracted the hostility of Henry VIII, aided and abetted by Thomas More, as they flung barbs at “this venomous serpent” challenging the Catholic church’s stranglehold over Europe. Then, just over a decade later, the king exploited the breach in Rome’s defences that Luther had created to launch a national church.

But Henry was always keen to stress that he was no Lutheran, and the German reformer’s new take on Christianity did not survive intact when crossing the Channel. So the celebrations this year of the 500th anniversary of Luther issuing his 95 theses – the key text in his onslaught against the pope’s abuse of power and scripture – is set to largely pass us by.

The “joint fest for Jesus Christ”, organised by the Lutheran World Federation and the Vatican, is a remarkable act of togetherness after half a millennium of enmity and bloodshed. It will be getting into gear this Easter across continental Europe, but there is no party happening here. Which is mighty unfair on Luther.

When the new Protestantism – a word invented by Luther’s enemies at the Diet of Speyer in 1529 – did arrive on these shores once Henry had shut out Rome, it might not have been specifically Lutheran, but it would not have existed at all had it not been for Luther. Once he had argued that you could worship God by following the scriptures not the pope, others such as Zwingli and Calvin followed in his wake, setting up their own churches as Protestantism quickly fragmented.

We live today in secular, sceptical, scientific times, when religion itself is regularly branded irrelevant. So Luther, if considered at all, tends to be dismissed as dour, distant and two-dimensional, better suited to the dusty pages of history books than the 21st century. So much so that he is often confused with Martin Luther King, whose continuing importance is much more readily understood.

Yet as one of the makers of modern Europe, and a populist who rose to prominence on a wave of anti-establishment discontent among those who felt themselves shut out and forgotten (sound familiar?), his story has never had a more immediate resonance.

In his native Germany, at least, they still appreciate that. Some 30% of the population remains Lutheran, including the chancellor, Angela Merkel, daughter of a Lutheran pastor. Recently a Playmobil model of the Augustinian friar, clutching his quill pen and Bible, became the fastest-selling toy its makers have ever put on the market there, with 34,000 sold during its first 72 hours on the shelf.

A case of celebrating a local hero? That is part of it, but it is too narrow. Luther’s contemporary relevance for all of us lies in understanding how and why an obscure monk from a backwoods university, light years away from the corridors of power in Renaissance Rome, orchestrated a revolution so powerful that it brought a hitherto all-powerful Catholicism to its knees.

It certainly was not down to the originality of his theological arguments. Not a single one was new. All had been aired before, some by saints, many by those branded heretics by Rome for their trouble, their lives snuffed out on pyres in public squares as casually as the candles on its gilded altars.

What Luther did in the 95 theses – which, incidentally, were sent to his local archbishop, not nailed to a door, a fanciful exaggeration put about by his followers after his death – was to tap into a deep vein of alienation among the poor in a fragmented Germany. They were disillusioned not only with the excesses and corruption of their pope and church, but also with their own local rulers in the jigsaw of states that made up their country.

Luther struck a chord with a congregation that felt exploited and ignored: on the one hand, fleeced to pay for lavish basilicas in Rome by the sale of worthless pieces of parchment known as indulgences that “guaranteed” a berth in heaven for loved ones (or themselves); and on the other, in the secular world, seeing the age-old ways on which their livelihoods depended overturned by the rise of a money economy.

The 95 theses – and much of what Luther subsequently said in public as his message spread across the continent, right up to his excommunication in 1521 – were the work of a classic disrupter who, in today’s terms, wanted to drain the “Vatican swamp”.

Fluent in the language of the street, the undeniably charismatic Luther wrote most of his best-known and most inflammatory texts not in church Latin but in German, going on to produce in 1522 the first translation of the New Testament into everyday German, and in 1534 a translation of the whole Bible.

Those in the pews no longer had to rely on the word of priests and bishops instead of the word of God. He realised the force of appealing over the head of “experts” long before Michael Gove hit upon it in the Brexit push.

And in working with the owners of newfangled printing presses, he was among the first to spot the potential of what was the social media of its day as an alternative means of spreading his new anti-establishment gospel. Pamphlets of edited versions of his tracts spread like ripples through Germany, then Europe, Rome and even England. In an age of widespread illiteracy, he made sure he engaged those who could not read by including illustrations, using crude, often satirical woodcuts from the studio of his close friend and fellow Wittenberger, Lucas Cranach the Elder.

So when he stood before the Holy Roman Emperor and the princes and prelates of Germany at the Diet of Worms in 1521, defending his writings on pain of death, Luther had crowds outside on the streets rallying to his defence, stirred up by leaflets and posters saturating the town.

Much as they wanted to be rid of “this petty monk”, as pope Adrian VI labelled him, the establishment could not hand him over to his fate for fear of igniting an uprising. So Luther, unlike those earlier would-be reformers, lived to put his theories into practice.

All those who court popular support, though, inevitably one day lose it. For Luther, that moment came in 1525, when the long-brewing unhappiness among Germany’s poor boiled over in the Peasants’ War. Luther was forced to choose sides, and threw his lot in with thode princes who had embraced his Protestantism (and with some who hadn’t).

This was not a matter of self-preservation. His doctrine of the “two kingdoms” – leaving to the state earthly matters, and to the church those spiritual pursuits that were Luther’s lifeblood – was sincerely held, but his application of it was taken as a cruel betrayal by many among the rebels who had placed their hopes in him as their saviour.

Yet the consequences of Luther’s rebellion were not confined to a particular period, to Germany, or even to organised religion. His essential message was that, at the end of his or her life, each believer stood naked before God, awaiting eternal judgment, with only the Bible and their faith to protect them. The “good works” that Catholicism encouraged – earning brownie points by going to mass, making pilgrimages, praying to relics and contributing to the church coffers – were irrelevant in salvation.

He was thus challenging the entire late medieval way of doing things and the result was strikingly modern. For Luther championed conscience, informed by reading the scriptures, over the dictates of church rules and regulations. Read scripture and make your own mind up. This, in its turn, opened the door in the 17th and 18th centuries to Enlightenment notions of human liberty, free speech and even human rights, all of which today shape Europe. Our ability to read the word of God and reject it out of hand comes from Luther – an outcome he could not have foreseen and which would surely horrify him.

But if that sounds too abstract, there is one final aspect of Martin Luther that gives him a relevance and a three-dimensional appeal. For sheer, selfless courage, he is impossible to outdo. He may now be recalled, if at all, as a jowly friar from history, but for a thousand years before Luther came along, the Catholic church had been one of the great powers on earth, so powerful it even fixed the calendar the world still uses, taking as its pivot the birth of Jesus Christ. Until Martin Luther.

He had the courage to take on a monolithic church, in the full expectation that it would cost him his life, but he did it nonetheless, confronting the might of the first truly universal religion, in person and often alone, with an extraordinary passion, intensity and energy. And, most remarkable of all, not only did Luther survive, he triumphed, and we are all better off because of him.

What’s not to celebrate?

Christopher Nolan interview about Dunkirk in Premiere (translated by YFR3)

The popular filmmaker, inventor of crazy concepts, who reigns on global entertainment for ten years, is back. But this time, Nolan is naked : without his magic tricks or his theoretical scrolls. Farewell the world of dreams of Inception, the upside down editing of Memento or the black holes of Interstellar. Dunkirk tells the story of a handful of routed soldiers (Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy, Harry Styles …) stuck on a beach, between the Channel’s gray and angry sea and the Germans who fire. A real, brutal, anxiety-provoking and authentic war film. Really ?

Naturally, as always with him, it’s a little more complicated than that … “I guarantee you there’s no SF,” he laughs, welcoming us into the editing room. For its hardcore fans who rewatch frame by frame the two available trailers, to see when the film can twist. No: “Dunkerque will be faithful to events, the reality of history and the reality of places. ”

Perhaps this is where the most “Nolanian” aspect of the project nests. Some people still wonder if, at the end of the dream of Inception, the spinning top continues or not to turn. The same is true for the Operation Dynamo (code name of the evacuation of May 1940). For some people, Dunkirk’s rescue was a victory (340,000 soldiers saved while Churchill was expected ten times less); For others, it was a terrible humiliation (“War is not won with evacuations,” declared the same Churchill). This is this weird episode of the phoney war that Nolan chose to tell through the fate of aviators, sailors, soldiers and civilians. A story full of ambiguity, ideal to play with the genre. There’s always been in this man a desire desire to refuse the constraints of narrative logic, to explode into a thousand pieces the linearity of storytelling. Whatever the genre he confronts, his cinema is based on an art of rhythm and editing that allows him to deploy his incredible immersive mechanics. And that’s what we witness when we get into the editing room at Warner Studios. We see Nolan at work. We see it deconstruct a plan, subtly modify a sound to boost an image and make it indelible (his sense of frame is intact), all with a virtuosity of a killer who knows as well mix formats (prologue mixing 70 mm and IMAX is a visual madness) that learn his job to the most experienced sound engineer. It is this moment that he chose to welcome us and lift the veil (In Premier exclusivity …) on Dunkirk.

PREMIERE : I was very surprised to see how accurate you were in sound mixing. Can you explain what you were doing? 

NOLAN: It’s pretty simple in reality. In the room, the editor on the left is dealing with the music of the film. The other on the right the sound effects.  And at this stage, we ensure the balance, the mix between these two flows. It’s a very subtle process, but when we add these two elements (music and effects), working on hundreds of sound details, we finally define the tone and cohesion of the film.

(Rest of the interview after the jump)

Keep reading

Robb Stark Imagine

It wasn’t always like this.

Long before she appeared in his life, back in the beginning, the two of you were inseparable.  Where you were, he was. And wherever he was, you’d be right by his side.

Growing up, as a ward in Winterfell life had been better than you could of ever hoped for, or that you believed that you truly deserved, but at the end of the day, you know it was down to his instant companionship. As soon as Robb accepted you as a part of life in Winterfell, the rest of the Stark children soon followed, Sansa, Arya and young Jon as well.  Sansa and you would spend hours giggling about the young stable boys that would grow to be more handsome, Arya trusted you the most when it came to her desire to want to learn how to fight… In fact it was you who convinced Robb and Jon to teach her the basic moves when her mother wasn’t looking.

For a while, Robb had simply been a brother figure… At least you thought that’s what your affections for him were, although now when you look back, it had been love all along. And not a sibling type of love, it was the kind of love that had you feeling like a battle was being fought in your stomach whenever his smile lit up his entire face, screw butterflies, armies were shouting and fighting when he stood close, when his hand rested on the small of your back as you made your rounds at feasts together. You had been so young and naïve to think that those emotions were not as clear to you as they are now.

Its not that you don’t want to tell Robb how you feel, you wanted to scream it at the top of your lungs so that the New Gods and the Old can hear… It was more the fact that you had absolutely no idea whether he would a) reciprocate your love and b) even care that you love him, because as far as you were aware, a maid had turned his head.

 This maid was definitely new to Winterfell, you aren’t entirely sure when she actually arrived, but you know she’s new because the rest of the maids and servants in the castle know to leave you and Robb to a conversation, he would usually snap at anyone who interrupted the pair of you talking, whether or not the topic was important, but she walked straight up to the pair of you and stole him away, as easy as leading a puppy away with the offer of a treat.

It broke your heart. Simply and truly it broke your heart. To make it worse, from that point on, it was almost impossible for you to get Robb alone, even just to ask how he was, if he wasn’t with his father completing tasks and learning how to be the Lord of Winterfell, he was with her, ignoring your waves across the courtyard, or just walking away with her as you enter the room. It was getting to the point that even the other Stark children were beginning to notice.

“Where’s Robb?” Sansa asked one day, sitting next to you under the Weirwood Tree
“In all honesty, I have no idea, its been weeks since we’ve actually spoken, other than formalities when there are feasts or guests” You say, looking at the red leaf you held in your hands
“What do you mean its been weeks??” Sansa exclaims, truly shocked at her brother’s actions
“That maid, she has her claws in him, he pays me no attention now, not even a hello” Your voice breaks slightly, this is the first time you’ve actually spoken about this to anyone, and your walls were slowly tumbling down
“I don’t understand? How is it possible?? It’s always been you and Robb??” Sansa says more so to herself than to you, truly trying to understand how her brother has honestly changed so much in such a little time.
“Nor do I, but I suppose this is the way it is going to be from now on, I hope dearly that you’ll forgive me, but I think I need to be alone” You whisper as you raise from the floor of the Godswood, bowing your head slightly and walking away from the red haired Stark, making your way to your chambers and locking the doors, tears finally escaping.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

 As Sansa watched you walk away, her confusion quickly turned into anger. How could her older brother treat you this way? He may be older but he most definitely is not wiser than his sister, all of Winterfell knew that you are in love with the eldest Stark, and most had thought that he returned those emotions, but this maid, whomever she is, Sansa had not cared to learn the girls name, nor did she now care to, all she wanted to do was to find out what could possibly cause her brother to act this way. Sansa had no doubts that you were her best friend; you had been since the first months you had been at Winterfell and Robb had no right to treat you like this, if he thought battle was terrifying, Sansa was about to unleash seven hells of fury.

 Sansa quickly left the Godswood and found her way to the main courtyard of Winterfell and spotted her half brother practicing with his long sword
“Jon!” Sansa called, slightly spooking him
“Yes Sansa? What can I do for you?” Jon asks, lowering his sword from the reach of his sister, it would not end well with Lady Stark if he accidentally cut her.
“Where is Robb?” Sansa asked, the fury quickly leaking into her voice
“I’m not sure, may I ask why? You seem unnaturally angry” Jon asked, wary now of the anger in the girls demeanour 
“Are you aware that he hasn’t spoken to Y/N in weeks??” The question makes Jon recoil slightly, he wasn’t aware of Robb’s absence from you, he had noticed that you were becoming more distant from the courtyard, but he had assumed you had been spending time on your reading
“What do you mean Robb hasn’t spoken to Y/N in weeks? That’s impossible” Jon retaliates, hoping to the Gods that Sansa was wrong; he knew his brother was a better person than this
“I mean exactly what I said Jon. I spoke to Y/N this morning; he’s breaking her heart Jon! He won’t speak to her; he won’t even look at her anymore! This maid has somehow wormed her way into his brain and is controlling him or something! I don’t know! But the second I find him, I should hope that he’s been praying because even the Gods can’t protect him from me!” Sansa all but yelled, Jon’s face showing some unreadable expression, he knew that the new maid was pretty, but he didn’t know it was possible for someone other than you to catch Robb’s attention, let alone prevent him from speaking to his longest and dearest friend.
“Sansa, maybe you should take a moment to calm down before you confront him” Jon tried to suggest to his younger sister, but it was no use, Robb had mistakenly entered the courtyard to train with Jon, a smile on his face until he spots the murderous look on his sisters face and the worried… almost disappointed look on his brother’s.
“Good afternoon sister, Arya break one of your dolls again?” Robb asked with a small smile playing on his lips.
“You would be so lucky if that was the issue” Sansa hissed through her teeth, Robb’s face quickly turning to confusion, Jon stepped forward to put a hand on Sansa’s shoulder 
“Sansa, please think about this” Jon whispered trying to calm their sister before she outright murdered the heir to Winterfell
“No Jon, I will not.” Sansa said shoving Jon’s hand off of her shoulder and stepping closer to her eldest sibling 
“You are a disgrace to Winterfell” Sansa said to Robb, 100% full of conviction and meaning every word of it, Robb could feel the venomous anger his sister was full of
“Excuse me?” Robb asked in shock, Sansa had never spoken to him in that fashion before, even when he had played the cruellest pranks on her 
“You heard me Robb, you are a disgrace! I’ve never been so disappointed to be your sister.” Sansa said, jabbing a finger into Robb’s chest, pushing him back a step with every jab
“What have I done to deserve such hate?” Robb’s voice was now quiet, hurt. He didn’t understand why his sister was acting like this
“When’s the last time you spoke to Y/N? When was the last time you even smiled at her? Or showed her any sign of friendship?” Sansa shouts, her arms crossed
“I spoke to her just this morning!” Robb responded but not even he believed his answer
“You are a liar Robb Stark! You haven’t spoken a word to Y/N in weeks. Do you want to know how badly you’ve hurt her Robb?? All because a maid has been interested in you, fucking you so that she could get a small fraction of power. You’re disgusting Robb! You’ve made Y/N cry more times than I can count, she’s not spending time with me, nor Jon” Sansa explained, Robb looked to Jon to see if she was telling the truth… There was no way that Robb had hurt you this badly… He couldn’t do that to you, its simply impossible
“It’s true Robb, Y/N hasn’t been showing up to watch Arya train or to the stables to go riding… She’s all but disappeared into herself” Jon admitted, shaking his head lightly at the entire event, his brother had hurt you too much for him to lie to protect Robb’s feelings.
“I don’t understand, I haven’t been absent from her, I can’t be…” Robb was confused now, trying to think back through the weeks to the last time you and he spoke… Quickly realising how right his siblings were, he had abandoned you, his longest and truest friend.
“Robb I am going to tell you this because I love you and you have been the biggest idiot of your entire life, Y/N is so in love with you, she has been for years, and up until recently we all thought that you loved her too, but Robb, I don’t know who this person is that is standing in front of me, pretending to be my brother, because the Robb I know, is fiercely loyal… He doesn’t just abandon his friends. Now tell me, do you love Y/N” Sansa asks, placing her hands on both of his shoulders
“Yes” Robb said,
“Not as a friend Robb, do you truly love Y/N? If you do… you need to tell her and tell her now. You could lose her Robb. You could honestly lose her forever” Jon said, now stepping forward to stand in line with Sansa.

 Robb stepped back from his siblings, thinking back to his childhood with you, thinking back to the times when you stood by his side even when the rest of Winterfell was against him. Then he thought about the times when you were so unbelievably beautiful without knowing it, the moments when he made you laugh or when you were reading one of the stories of the Great Knights of Westeros changing the names so that instead you were reading his name, building his confidence and ensuring that he never went to battle without knowing that he had to come back to you. It suddenly all made sense to him, you were always there, always in his corner, your love showing in all of your actions over the past years… Robb realised then that he was the biggest fool in Westeros. He was losing the one woman who would always stand behind him, catch him when he falls… The crushing realisation of his love for you caused his chest to suddenly get heavy. Robb loved you.

Robb loved you with every fibre of his being.

“I love her,” Robb said with a nod to his sister and brother.
“You know where her chambers are, go get her” Sansa said, a small smile playing on her lips.

And that’s what Robb set out to do.


—————-

Part Two

Thank You

This is probably my sixth or seventh attempt at this, and I’m struggling to find the right words to weave this tapestry of deep gratitude. My first attempt was very emotional and maudlin; the second was too short; third attempt came across as indulgently self-important; the fourth draft made me seem like a total wanker; and the fifth iteration I quit half way through, because (if you can forgive me this moment) it still scares me to come online after everything.

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