this man will kill me eventually

The Thinker’s Ultimate Plan Theory.

Ok ready? This is a bit crazy so bear with me. So if you read the synopsis for episode 4x09 which is right after the crossover we see that Barry will get kidnapped by Devoe (and something happened to to Caitlin too but who cares right now)
The question hit me, why would this villain want to kidnap the Flash? What is his goal? But after seeing tonight’s episode the answer hit me.
Devoe’s body is deteriorating, his mind slowly killing his body. But what if he had Barry’s rapid regeneration? His mind wouldn’t be able to destroy his body fast enough and he could live on.
That’s what I think he wants, the body of the fastest man alive. Inserting his mind into Barry, taking over him. And eventually Barry would be trapped in the back of his own mind unable to get out.
So when Team Flash rescues Barry at the end of episode 9 from then on they will start to realize that something is off with him. Sometimes Barry is in control and at other times Devoe is, and in those moments Barry finds himself blacking out for long periods of time and has no idea what’s happening. Devoe will continue growing stronger until Barry is unable to surface and he’s merely a puppet and the Thinker is holding the strings.
With the Fastest Mind Alive combined with the Fastest Man Devoe will be unstoppable.

Things I noticed after watching IT a second time

- Eddies little “sorry mommy” ((im yelling))

- how they all watch each others backs while walking through the school

- Stan calmly explaining about the bar mitzvah

- Eddies little hands over his mouth when Richie was freaking out about his missing poster

- also Richies glance to Eddie when he’s freaking out about his missing poster

- How Richies glasses make his eyes look slightly bigger

- Bills quivering lip

- How quick they were to accept Mike and Ben into their group and how quick Mike and Ben fit in

- Beverlys rings

- Blonde kid in Henry’s gang looks like Draco Malfoy

- Eddie’s so small and cute I love my son

- Richie holding Eddie’s face after they find Pennywise attacking him

- Every time something happened with Eddie and his asthma whether is was just him using his inhaler or the fact that he could barely breathe when Pennywise was attacking him just makes me want to hold him forever

- Eddie buying Richie ice cream

- Bev just looked so scared covered in all that blood I’m in love with her

- “Derry started as a beaver trapping camp.” “Still is! Am I right boys?”

- We didn’t see Bill with his parents much (his mother not at all) and I just think that shows how alone he was in his need to find Georgie, and why he felt so betrayed when his friends gave up too

- Ben’s room ❤️

- Eddie’s little red shorts

- Bev: “I need to show you something?” Richie: “More than you showed us yesterday at the quarry?”

- Beverlys slow-forming smile

- Richie and Eddies long ass hug at the end

- Eddie looked so sad when his mother took him away after he broke his arm he was just so sad

- Henry’s shaking hands over his face when his dad shot the ground next to him

- “Nothing like a little fear to make a paper man crumble.”

- Stan Mike and Eddie all in the “Bill no what the fuck” club

- Richie eventually joining this “Bill no what the fuck” club after Eddie was put in danger

- “Bills gonna kill you!” AKA Georgie’s fear of disappointing Billy. (Fuck you, Pennywise.)

- The way Pennywise looks at Richie after he calls his lair a “crackhouse”

- “Don’t breathe through your mouth.” “Why?” “Because then you’re eating it.”

- That was Eddie coming out of the Matress? I didn’t realise it was him the first time.

- “Not every plant is poison ivy, Stan.”

- Pennywise used Eddie to lure Richie (cue me sobbing)

- Stans little bunch of curls peeking out through his bandage

- Bens lil nose

- Mike always looks so scared and worried I just want to protect him

- Bills pyjamas that are almost to small for him in the beggining of the movie

- also the cinematography in the beginning (well, the whole movie actually) is beautiful and part of the reason I love this movie so much

- Ben’s cliché kiss to wake up Beverly has been so overused in the past we all thought it wouldn’t work but it did and that surprised us.

- Pennywise is a fucking hoarder

- The fact that Stan and Eddie left first is just foreshadowing for what happens next and I want to cry

washingtonpost.com
Perspective | I wanted to understand why racists hated me. So I befriended Klansmen.
My collection of robes and hoods is still growing.

By Daryl Davis,  September 29 at 6:00 AM:  Daryl Davis, author of “Klan-Destine Relationships,” and subject of the documentary “Accidental Courtesy,” is an award-winning musician, actor, lecturer and race relations expert.    

“One night in 1983, I found myself playing in a country band at a truck stop lounge. I was the only black person in the joint. Taking a break after the first set of music, I was headed to sit at a table with my bandmates when a white gentleman approached from behind and put his arm around my shoulders. “I really enjoy y’all’s music,” he said. I shook his hand and thanked him. “This is the first time I ever heard a black man play piano like Jerry Lee Lewis,” he continued.

I told him that Lewis was a friend of mine and that he had learned his style from watching and listening to black blues and boogie-woogie pianists. My new fan didn’t buy it, but he did want to buy me a drink. While we sipped, he clinked my glass and said, “This is the first time I ever sat down and had a drink with a black man.”

Why? “I’m a member of the Ku Klux Klan,” he said. I burst out laughing. Then he handed me his KKK membership card, and I recognized the Klan’s symbols. In that moment, I was overcome by a question: How could anybody hate me when they didn’t even know me?

I was no stranger to racism. Having grown up a black person in the ’60s and ’70s, I knew that prejudice was common. But I had never understood why. Sitting in that lounge with my new friend, I decided to figure it out in the only way that made sense: By getting to know those who felt hostility toward black people without ever having known any.

Several years later, I recruited that man, whose name was Frank James, to put me in contact with the grand dragon of the Maryland Klan. He tried to deter me, warning that the leader would kill me. But eventually, after I promised not to reveal how I’d gotten the grand dragon’s contact information, James gave it to me.

By then I had decided to travel around the country and interview KKK leaders and members from various chapters and factions to get the answer to my question: How can you hate someone you’ve never met? I was planning to write a book detailing my interviews, experiences and encounters with these Ku Klux Klan members. (The book, “Klan-Destine Relationships,” was published in 1998.)

I had my white secretary, who typically booked my band and assisted me with my music business, set up a meeting with the Maryland grand dragon, explaining that her boss was writing a book on the Klan and would like his input. Per my instructions, she did not reveal the color of my skin.

The grand dragon agreed to participate, and we secured a room at a Frederck, Maryland motel, where my secretary filled an ice bucket with cans of soda so I could offer my guest a drink. Regardless of how and what he felt about me, if he entered my room after seeing the color of my skin, I was going to treat him with hospitality.

Punctual to the minute, there was a knock on the door. The grand nighthawk (the grand dragon’s bodyguard) entered first, and then the dragon himself. “Hello,” I began, “I’m Daryl Davis.” I offered my palm, and the dragon shook my hand as he and the nighthawk introduced themselves. The dragon sat in the chair I had set out, and the nighthawk stood at attention beside him.

We were both apprehensive of the other, and the interview started haltingly. We discussed what he had hoped to achieve by joining the Klan; what his thoughts were on blacks, Asians, Jews and Hispanics; and whether he thought it would ever be possible for different races to get along. A little while later, we heard an inexplicable crackling noise and we both tensed. The dragon and I stared each other in the eye, silently asking, “What did you just do?” The nighthawk reached for his gun. Nobody spoke. I barely breathed.

Seated atop the dresser, my secretary realized what had happened: The ice in the bucket had started to melt, causing the soda cans to shift. It happened again, and we all began laughing. From there, the interview went on without a hitch.

It was a perfect illustration that ignorance breeds fear and possibly violence. An unknown noise in an ice bucket could’ve led to gunfire, had we not taken a moment to understand what we were encountering.

Even though the grand dragon, who now prefers not to be named, had told me he knew that white people were superior to blacks, our dialogue continued over the years. He would visit me in my home, and I would eventually be a guest in his. We would share many meals together, even though he thought I was inferior. Within a couple of years, he rose to the rank of imperial wizard, the top national leadership position in the Klan.

Over the past 30 years, I have come to know hundreds of white supremacists, from KKK members, neo-Nazis and white nationalists to those who call themselves alt-right. Some were good people with wrong beliefs, and others were bad people hellbent on violence and the destruction of those who were non-Aryan.

There was Bob White, a grand dragon for Maryland who served four years in prison for conspiring to bomb a synagogue in Baltimore, where he had been a police officer. When he got out, he returned to the Klan and later went back to prison for three more years for assaulting two black men with a shotgun, evidently intent on murder. But after I reached out to him with a letter while he was in prison for the second time, Bob became a very good friend, renounced the Klan and attended my wedding.

Imperial Wizard Frank Ancona, who headed one of the largest Klan groups in the country, would also become a very close friend. When Frank was killed this year (his wife and stepson have been charged with his murder), one of his Klan members, knowing how close we had been, called me and told me before notifying the police. I accepted the Klan’s invitation to participate in his funeral service.

Three weeks after this summer’s violent clash in Charlottesville, I was invited by the leaders of the Tennessee and Kentucky chapters of Ancona’s branch of the Klan to speak at their national Konvocation. I accepted, spoke and took audience questions after the lecture. Whether or not anyone there immediately changed their minds, we talked as people — and we all benefitted from that.

I am not so naive as to think everyone will change. There are certainly those who will go to their graves as hateful, violent racists. I never set out certain that I would convert anyone. I just wanted to have a conversation and ask, “How can you hate me when you don’t even know me?” What I’ve learned is that whether or not I’ve changed minds, talking can still relieve tensions. I’ve seen firsthand that when two enemies are talking, they are not fighting. They may be yelling and beating their fists on the table, but at least they are talking. Violence happens only when talking has stopped.

And sometimes, people do change. One day in 1999, after having been in the Ku Klux Klan for about 20 years, the Klan leader from the motel interview, whom I watched go from grand dragon to imperial wizard, called me, said he was leaving the Klan and apologized for having been a member. He told me he could no longer hate people. I had not turned out to be what he had always thought of black people. He went on to become one of my best friends, and today I own his robe and hood — one set of many in my collection of garments donated to me by apostate Klansmen and Klanswomen,

which is always growing.”

‘Shiro ships are power imbalanced!’

You mean…

Shallura - In which Allura who smashed down a metal door with brute strength alone, and literally threw the man like a piece of meat? Both are young and forced into situations where they had to grow up before their time which is something they can sympathize and relate to with. Not to mention there’s a lot of things both us and Allura herself have yet to discover about her.
Fly Shiro, fly!

Shunk - They’re EQUALLY intelligent and Hunk is confirmed PHYSICALLY STRONGER and if he was more battle smart/fit, could actually wreck Shiro. Hunk would probably be the castle’s reigning arm wrestling champion! People seem to also forget Hunk isn’t a pushover, if something doesn’t seem right to him, he’s going to call shit out on it and would make sure something is done about it.

Shidge - Definitely has a power imbalance, look at this take-no-shit tiny nerd own Shiro on sheer intelligence alone. Pidge made a freaking functional satellite on her own out of random metal scraps just floating in space, and has killed a man Galra. No one is safe, not even Shiro.
I think it’s also good to point out that pretty much the majority of Shidge shipper DO NOT ship them at 14 and 25, so don’t give me any of that age shit. If you argue about why people make Pidge so small, fun fact: small people exist!

Sheith - Keith is a one man army, even when he got his arse handed to him by fucking spies with god only knows how much more battle experience under their belts, he’d keep going and fought on sheer tenacity alone and eventually figured his way out. Keith ain’t no delicate flower who’d bend over backwards just because he loves Shiro, the man has proven he’s willing to make sacrifices for the greater good, even if it’s going to hurt.

Shance - Granted it’s a bit hard to find evidence for (we’re only 2 seasons in, there’ll hopefully be more material for it in the future) but Lance has already proven to be very good at improvising and think quick in stressful situations, not to mention he ain’t their sharpshooter for nothing. Plus Lance is known for being a very social creature; he’d be insanely switched on when it comes to relationships, platonic, familial, romantic, or otherwise, and he clearly knows about self care especially from an emotional standpoint.

Can we please stop dismissing these characters quality traits just to shit on ships and treating them as if they were infants? And can we please stop slandering Shiro, the man has never done any abusive thing towards any of his teammates and would never do it willingly *coughcoughKurocoughcough*, and there’s more statements confirming he’s a teen than the supposed 25 so don’t even start. As I said, we’re only 2/8 seasons into the story, which means everyone on team Voltron is going to get development and grow in both their skills and as people; 6 more seasons of watching this group become terrifying forces of nature.

And if anything, if you want to protect anyone it should be this poor 4/5 year old. Baby’s been though enough already.

(Unfortunately our consistent party tends to be just three people: myself, my husband, and a friend of ours. When I’m DM, I’m almost constantly caught off guard by the things my players do. Even when I go out of my way to try and come up with every possible thing they could do, they manage to do something unexpected. Here’s a few examples…)

Bear Hunting

(Story is an elven man is a mentor to a young human boy. His parents died under mysterious circumstances; everyone believes a bear killed his parents. After some investigating, it was determined that the elven man killed both parents with arrows to the heart, on account of they were going to sell their son into slavery. This follows.)

Husband: I let the elf go and go hunting.

Me: Uh, okay. What are you hunting for?

Husband: A bear.

Me: ….. *retrieves Bestiary* Ooookay then…

(He eventually succeeds in killing two bears, then brought one to the boy as ‘the one that killed his parents’. I actually, honestly expected him to kill the elf mentor…)

Overreacting

(A young boy is causing a scene in a city, harassing some guards. My players come and get the situation calmed, getting the guards to leave. It turns out that the boy’s father was a wizard who was wrongfully executed and he’s taking out his anger on the guards. Then this happens…)

Me: The boy, still distraught, casts Magic Missile at (husband). Take 2 damage.

Husband: Ow.

Friend (a ninja): I jump kick the boy in the head.

Me: ….what.

Friend: *hard stare*

Me: …. (We roll appropriately) He takes 12 nonlethal damage and is knocked unconscious.

Friend: *to my husband, in character* Shall I dispatch this miscreant for you, master?

Husband: NO.

Brothel Battle

(A slaver ship captain is in a brothel. I expected the players to just wait on the docks for him to return. Instead, they split up and end up at the brothel together. One is an Inquisitor (husband), the other is a vigilante (friend). Both are male. I fully expect both of them to enter as patrons. Instead…)

Friend: I disguise myself as a woman named ‘Rose’.

Me: …..Okay.

Husband: *shaking head*

Friend: I go inside and pretend to be looking for a job.

(We RP him approaching the Madame, and her offering rates and such things for 'Rose’. Note that the vigilante’s hero name is “The Wild Rose”, the brothel’s name is “The Blooming Rose”, and the Madame’s name is “Rosa”. The place is also heavily guarded by false patrons wearing masks. Husband comes in as a patron looking for a woman of Rose’s exact description, so he’s escorted to her room as her first patron. Then they just wait in the room for the man they suspect to be the captain to come by. After actually yanking him into the room when he turned down Rose’s advances [he preferred strong women, but Rose was dainty and childlike], they fight, and win. However, an alert goes up. I expect the pair to jump out the window. Instead…)

Husband: I run out of the room and around the corner, duck into another room, and cast Invisibility on myself.

Friend: I scream and pretend (Inquisitor) killed my customer.

(They proceeded to escape and even took the captain’s boots before they left, both of them invisible at this point.)

A Whole New Use for Bear Traps

(Same as the previous game, the two are sneaking around the house of a rich family and spot bear traps in the garden. I expect them to either move the traps, spring them, or ignore them. Instead…)

Friend: I PICK UP THE BEAR TRAPS.

Me: ….Okay, you do so.

(Few moments later, after a successful perception check to notice footsteps nearby…)

Me: You hear someone sneaking around.

Friend: …..I HOLD THE BEAR TRAPS IN MY HANDS AND READY AN ATTACK.

Me: …..WHY.

(It was an ally of theirs sneaking around, but he barely managed to NOT get her head stuck in a bear trap. Later on he used them again on a guard. Rather than roll damage, I just accepted it as the guard died instantly. For his sake…)

A mouthful of blood.

Fair warning for those who are squeamish, this post is going to be talking about my teeth and is tagged as #chronic health tag: teeth for those who wish to not see posts like it in the future.

So this morning I went to the magic dentist man for my cleaning and also my check up on the tooth extraction. The receptionist is waiting for me, and she tells me there’s been some problems with my insurance, which, yea I tell them, I know. They’re refusing to cover me and want me to go see a different dentist, specifically one who doesn’t believe I’m in pain. So I’m looking at canceling the plan and just paying them up front cause I’ve found my dentist, I ain’t going anywhere else, which she smiles at offers me a cup of tea and makes sympathetic noises when I tell her I can’t have it anymore.

The hygienist was lovely and chatty, and it was all going really well until she probed the tooth next to the extraction site, and I felt this deep, awful not good pain in my jawbone, and there’s a mirror above my head and I get to watch as blood pools up into my mouth and I start choking on it, while both the hygienist and the nurse panic, one scrabbling to bring me upright and for gauze, the other running off going “doctor mark, doctor mark, doctor mark!” who comes running in from the next exam room like he thinks they’ve killed me, and takes over.

Twenty minutes later he’s still holding the gauze in place cause I can’t bite down hard enough to staunch it because my upper root canal tooth suddenly feels like it’s going to break if I bite down on it. All the while my doctor magic man is trying to ask me questions I can nod too: do I take any blood thinners, no, do I take any of these supplements, no, how’s my blood pressure, good, okay, do I have a history of xyz, no, okay, nice weather we’re having right? Eventually the bleeding stops and he looks at it, and tells the hygienist, no, she didn’t slip and tear it open, in fact it LOOKS fine, he doesn’t…what is…I don’t even…oh…it hasn’t healed over yet, it’s still an open wound and the blood clot is still forming, what the heck. 

Five weeks. Five weeks and my body is still trying to figure out how to clot blood. Welp, there goes the idea of surgery to have the other three teeth pulled, cause there’s no way in fuckery he wants me with three more open wounds in my mouth at the same time, so it’ll have to be one bastard tooth at a time, spread out over the course of the full year to let me heal. 

Anyway, crisis averted I get tipped back and they carry on doing the cleaning. No probing, just cleaning. The hygienist looks fit to cry so I pat her on the hand and say it’s okay, other people have hurt me far worse and I know she didn’t mean to. Assistant nurse starts lip wobbling instead and holds my other hand until we’re done.

I’m about to go pay when doctor mark pulls me into his consult room and asks me to take a seat. He’s been doing research he says, picking up his tools as he starts probing around my mouth, into people like me. He’s been calling all his dental buddies around the world and asking for help, for advice, for any shred of info that could help him to help me. Lots of them have got back to him, about patients with auto-immune problems, and teeth that never heal and root canals that have failed for no reason. There’s no science behind it, we’re not there in terms of diagnosis yet, but there’s a million and one anecdotes that dentists don’t want their patients to hear—especially about root canals. 

Which he’s prodding and poking at now, wiggling them around with his fingers and it hurts, it really really hurts so he lets go and tells me plainly: “There’s steel posts in those teeth, they shouldn’t wiggle like baby teeth, your body is fighting really hard to push them out.” 

And he starts telling me about his buddy, a fellow dentist like him, but who was not holistic, but an actual root canal specialist—an endodontist, like the dude who did my last root canal which looks perfect, just a perfect text book root canal. Apart from the bone deep pain and the feeling like I’ve got broken glass lodged in my mouth. 

Dude has been doing root canals for the last thirty years, he’s been the specialist that royalty flies to the US to come and see. And four years ago he started getting sick, like really, really “Write A Will” sick. And he tried everything, he paid for every medical procedure under the sun, but his body just kept getting sicker and sicker, and to top it all off, his god damn teeth were starting to hurt. But specifically, his root canals. Well nothing shows up on x-ray and his partner can’t find anything wrong, but something must be wrong so he has the worst one pulled, thinking he’ll have an implant within six months. Except six months comes and goes, and the extraction site is still healing. It’s healing slowly, but it’s healing…and he wonders, he wonders so he pulls the other root canal tooth out next to it and sends it off for bacterial analysis. And they find all kinds of shit, like fucking MRSA and a whole host of other not good very bad things which have been linked to retroviruses and cancers, and other auto-immune diseases and chronic conditions for which there’s no real diagnosis, let alone a cure. Only symptom management and a drawn out early grave. 

So the dude does what anyone else who had just been told their mouth is a ticking time bomb waiting to kill them, and he pulls every single root canal tooth he has, and he waits, and he waits…and it’s subtle at first, like the mild fever he’s had for the last twenty years and always assumed to be related to allergies, goes away. His migraines, go away, his arthritis, goes away. Slowly but surely his health rebuilds, the doctors are amazed…except when he presents them with his findings, they all make vague noises. “Well that just sounds like a coincidence” sort of thing, “everyone knows these treatments are perfectly safe for healthy people.”

And that’s the crux of it though, isn’t it. For healthy people, cause no one gives a shit if you’re one of the poor buggers whose body is going to go haywire from a simple procedure. You’re not a person, not really, you’re a statistic, and a very, very small one so who gives a fuck. Well this dude did, cause he closed down his practice, became a holistic dentist and refuses to do root canals. He point blank refuses to “save a tooth” that can be pulled and replaced by other means. There’s no point to saving a tooth if you can’t save the patient.

And my doctor magic man, he’s just looking at me, he’s looking at me like I’m his kid, and he just very carefully puts his hand on my shoulder and says “It might take a while, but we’re going to fix this.”

 It’s been about an hour since I got home, and his wife, the receptionist, just called me. “Just wanting to make sure you’re doing okay honey, call us if you need anything. And don’t worry about your insurance, we’ll figure something out.”

#SutherlandSprings

I am Texan, and I have grown up hearing the bullshit “Gun don’t kill people. People kill people”. I get it. You want to protect yourself, but regulations must be set and restrictions must be updated and if a man has the capabilities of killing 27 on his own, clearly laws on not strict enough. To allow this to continue with the logic you have is basically invoking an eventual anarchy.

The most pathetic part?

I hear all the time “well criminals will get them however they mean to if they want it bad enough so let the responsible ones have the right to protect”.

Ah yes, that seems to be helping. If you exist, where the hell are you? Give me GOOD EVIDENCE that this seems to be working. Give me more than one or two times to combat the over 300 mass shootings that could have been prevented by making it more difficult for people to get guns or collect them.

My sister had the nerve to say “oh it’s the end times” and “gun laws can’t stop a black heart”. That is so disgusting, even for me, as a Christian to hear. We don’t know when the end times are coming and you should not use that as an excuse to do nothing.

So, gun laws won’t stop everyone? Yea but it can certainly make it harder. That’s why law exists. No one is under the delusional that this will 100% solve the problem but it will make it harder for those who want to do this.

I am honestly sickened that after all of this, people still want to cling to their guns instead of letting the law do its job and letting the cops they respect so much do theirs.

I figure after Bucky spends a long time being so conflicted and ashamed about his time as the Winter Soldier the he can’t even talk about it, eventually he realizes that everyone seems to actually like him and it freaks him out. And for months, no one can get him to stop reminding them about why they all should hate him. Steve’s like, “Here are your pancakes, buddy.” “One time I killed a guy in front of his daughter.” “Yeah, you told me. I love you anyway. Eat your pancakes.” On a run with Sam, he passes him and Sam calls after him like, “You’re only running three laps to my one? Man, you’re slacking.” Bucky slows down long enough to say, “I tortured people too, you know.” “I hope you don’t think that’s gonna make me go easy on you,” Sam says as he speeds up and passes Bucky for the first time. Later, Natasha stops by with the Friends box set and gives it to Bucky. “You and Steve should watch this one night. Invite me over when you start it, okay?” And Bucky just clutch he’s the DVDs and stares at her with narrow eyes and flared nostrils until she’s like, “What?” “I SHOT YOU!” Nat shrugs, “Just once. Do it again and I’ll stop bringing you new TV shows.”

Originally posted by maxinegunter

  • the courier: Man, sometimes it all just gets to me... how we're all stuck in this unforgiving wasteland full of terrible, horrifying things. And sometimes it just feels like it's never going to end, ya know? like humans... we're just going to devolve entirely into brutality and eventually, into nothingness. It's not like I'm not above it, I've killed so many people, cheated and lied. I want to just live my life, but I just feel so paralyzed by the inevitability of these things sometimes.
  • Death Grips, the lore-friendly companion: FUCK WHERE YOU'RE FROM
  • Death Grips, the lore-friendly companion: FUCK WHERE YOU'RE GOIN
  • Death Grips, the lore-friendly companion: IT'S ALL ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE AT
  • the courier *tearing up*: D-Death Grips...

anonymous asked:

31 from the prompts list

31. “Stop biting that fucking lip!”

-

“Just the boy I wanted to see.” Y/N smiled, revealing the door open to a fluffy haired Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes, pushing and pawing his way past her grabs for a hug and set the grocery bags on top of the kitchen counter — his favorite organic grocery store logo printed out in bright, neon letters on the plastic.

“I hope you didn’t buy a bunch of boring organic food for our movie night. Those vegetable crackers you brought last time were disgusting.”

“I would never. And they were not!” Harry laughed, pulling out the various candies and snacks.

Eventually they settled next to each other on the couch, Harry throwing his favorite blanket of Y/N’s over the both of them as she clicked through their movie list.

“Can we watch a thriller tonight?”

Harry snorted. “Unless you want me stayin’ the night because you’re too scared to sleep alone again, I suggest no thrillers. What about a Rom-Com?”

“Romantic comedies put me to sleep, you know that.” Y/N sighed.

They bickered and searched a few minutes longer, finally settling between a documentary or a horror movie.

“Fine, fine. Thriller it is. Put on Hush, haven’t seen that one yet.”

Y/N clapped, clicking play and settling in closer to Harry’s side.

The movie played a long, getting to the point where the masked murder stalked the young, deaf writer in her house. Y/N lay frozen, forgetting the space around her and becoming fully invested inside the world the movie played out.

Harry’s hand suddenly made her jump, his thumb coming up to her chin and tugging the fleshy part of her lip down and out of the grip of her teeth.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” He whispered, smiling back as Y/N gave his cheeks a silly squeeze of thanks.

But Harry wasn’t watching as the masked killer shot the woman’s best friend, dragging her bloody body up the cottage stairs and into the view of the deaf woman, no. Harry was watching his best friend watch the movie. How Y/N unintentionally fidgeted with her fingers in her lap, or how she twirled a loose piece of hair strand at her ponytail.

More importantly, how she had gradually made her way in Harry’s lap, the equivalent steady breathing patterns of their chests lining up with one another and lastly, the swollen, pink lip she once again chewed on with her teeth.

Y/N jumped from what played on the T.V screen, her whole body twitching further in Harry’s embrace. All the while, his cock jumped with the sudden weight on top of his lap, Y/N unintentionally grinding herself into him as she shifted her position and became reglued to the screen.

“Don’t bite your lip.” He scolded once more, feeling the pressure on his cock heighten as she looked back at him with her wide eyes, ignoring his comment.

“Did you see that? Oh my God, the guy just stabbed the boyfriend in the neck!”

Harry adjusted his position back on the movie, watching the two men roll around and wrestle in the dead leaves and blood. The man eventually fought off the boyfriend and killed him, the over dramatized death making Y/N shiver as he stood victorious from the fight, making his way back to where the deaf woman hid in her cottage.

Harry drummed his fingers lightly on Y/N’s shoulder, ever so boredly fidgeting with her bra strap and tugging on it, before curling it around his fingers and letting it loosely snap back down.

“What’re you doing…” She mumbled, not completely caring enough to turn around and look.

“Look at me fo'sec.”

After a second of hesitation she did, gasping as Harry wetly and fully enclosed his open mouth onto hers. For a mere second he was afraid she was going to push him off and kick him out of the house but she took a hold of his jaw and kissed back even harder.

Y/N leaned back with a nervous smile, biting down on her lower lip, reveling in the tingling feeling in her tummy.

“Stop biting that fucking lip.” He groaned, the strength of his next kiss tipping her backwards on his lap as he leaned forwards to kiss her, eventually scooting them sideways onto the couch and climbing over her.

“Harry!” She moaned, feeling his hips grind down into hers, the bulge outlined perfectly between her legs.

“Feel what you do to me?”

“Are you —” She giggled, her laughs turning into more moans as he began kissing down the column of her throat. “Are you sure it isn’t the murder movie that’s what did it for you?”

“Fuckin’ minx with your sassy mouth. Let’s see what we can fill it up with instead, yeah?”

“The Punisher” comic series sentence meme
  • You kill because you like it. ❞
  • And every one of them deserved it.
  • I keep telling you, I can fix it for you if you’ll only say the word. ❞
  • This ends like it started. In blood.
  • I don’t know who they think they’re kidding
  • Don’t think the past means shit to me.
  • There is a great beast loose in the world of men.
  • They aren’t coming back no matter what you do.
  • Someone’s been watching war movies.
  • Note the restlessness, the constant need for violent action that characterizes the true adrenaline junkie. ❞
  • Pretend it never happened. Deny, deny, deny. ❞
  • Don’t even know what planet I’m on. But I think I’m about to find out. ❞
  • You can kill every single one of them. That’s the gift I’ll give you.
  • Every night I go out and make the world sane. ❞
  • Trying to pretend you’re just an ordinary Joe. Spare me, will you? ❞
  • Don’t lose it. You lose it, and you’re no help to anyone. ❞
  • I went as far as I ever want to go, this time. ❞
  • This ‘real America’? It’s a fucking dream, man. ❞
  • I don’t work for or with anyone. Eventually they let you down.
  • You made it, you silly son of a bitch. ❞
  • Still seeing triple here. Not good at all.
  • You know, he is in great shape for a guy his age. I wonder if he’s got a big dick? ❞
  • Crime never ends. It claims its victims. ❞
  • In the end I guess it’s easy after all.
  • That’s an M60. He just put an M60 in the back of that Subaru. ❞
  • You really going to beg?
  • That’s when I knew I was getting desperate.
  • I think you’re still a human being.
  • Seeking without realizing. Into the nightmare again and again. ❞
  • I believe some… darkness reached out to you.
  • I’m a fucking people person, aren’t I? ❞
  • If the moment comes, pal, don’t kid yourself you’ll last a second. ❞
  • All you did was lose control.
  • When the time comes, I can put him down like a rabid dog. ❞
  • Go to hell where you belong, you cock-sucker.
  • A war that lasts forever, a war that never ends, but you have to say the word. ❞
  • Was there a time you weren’t so certain of yourself, that your life wasn’t a foregone conclusion?
  • You take no pleasure in what you do, take no pleasure in anything that I can see.
  • You get the other guy on the ropes, you keep him there.

OMFG this is killing me do you guys even realize?? I can’t even put it into words, but this child has gone through every emotion in the book for Tsukiyama. Shuu is the ultimate fake-it-til-you-make-it idol. He started off looking down on Kaneki as food, then eventually pledged his loyalty which Kaneki BARELY accepted, he was so skeptical of Tsukiyama for so long. Finally after all this time he’s earnestly asking Tsukiyama to stay with him TILL THE END. “Please never leave my side, please always be my right-hand man, please always believe in me and follow me” LIKE!!! I can’t be the only person screeching about this, the character development is astounding and the relationship between these two can’t be ignored regardless of what label you put on it and I live for it

salvachester  asked:

KK, THAT SWAGGER IS KILLING ME

EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT MAN DOES KILLS ME!!!! 

HIS BOOTY-

HIS DANCING-

HIS ADORABLENESS-

FLIRTY JENSEN-

HIS LAUGH-

HIS SMILE-

HIS BACK-

EVEN ANNOYED JENSEN-

THE FREAKIN TOUNGE THING (FTT)=

ROCKSTAR JENSEN-

JENSEN PLAYING GUITAR-

THE ENTER JUMP HE MAKES-

TO DIRECTOR!JENSEN-

HIS MIC FLIP-

JENSEN TUMMY-

HOW GRACIOUS HE ALWAYS IS-

THE WAY HE ALWAYS TALKS WITH HIS HANDS-

NOT TO MENTION SO MANY MORE..BUT I SADLY DO NOT HAVE TIME TO NAME THEM RIGHT NOW.. :(

Bnha x Mulan AU (TodoDeku) Goofy idea/fanfic I'll never write. (sorry anon. Still love you. I just watched the movie and Bakugou is now Yao to me. Hope you see this bc I accidentally deleted your ask x_x. <3)
  • *
  • Toshinori Yagi: My, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late. But I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all.
  • *
  • Izuku: Excuse me, where can I sign in? Ahhh, I see you have a sword. I got one too! -goes to pull out sword- I'm very manly andddd...tough! -accidentally drops sword-
  • *
  • Mineta: For instance, my eyes, can see straightttt through your armor.
  • Izuku: -slaps Mineta-
  • *
  • Aoyama: -sparkling- Look! This tattoo will protect me from harm.
  • Bakugou: Hmmm -punches guy-
  • Kaminari: -laughs- I hope you can get your money back!
  • *
  • Bakugou: -spits- What are you lookin' at?
  • Mineta: -whispering- Punch him. It's how men say hello.
  • Izuku: -punches Bakugou-
  • Kirishima: -holding a fuming Bakugou- Bakugou, you've made a friend!
  • Mineta: Good. Now slap him on the behind. They like that.
  • Izuku: -slaps Bakugou's butt-
  • Bakugou: I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy.
  • Kirishima: Bakugou -picks up Bakugou- relax and chant with me. -chants, while slowly rocking Bakugou back and forth-
  • Bakugou: -growls, but eventually chants-...blurbedjal...eh, you ain't worth my time, chicken boy.
  • Mineta: CHICKEN BOY? SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU LIMP NOODLE!
  • *
  • Todoroki: -looming over Izuku- I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp!
  • Izuku: Sorry...-man voice- Uhh, I mean, sorry you had to see that. You know how it is when you get those, ugh, manly urges and you just have to kill something...fix things, uh, cook outdoors.
  • Todoroki: What's your name?
  • Izuku: Ahh, I,, uhh I, uhh-
  • Monoma: Your commanding officer just asked you a question!
  • Izuku: Uhh, I've got a name. Huhh a-and it's a boys name too!
  • Mineta: -whispers hiding behind Izuku- Kaminari, how about Kaminari?
  • Izuku: His name is Kaminari.
  • Todoroki: I didn't ask for his name. I asked for yours.
  • Mineta: Try, ugh, ughhh, ahh Chu!
  • Izuku: Ah Chu.
  • Todoroki: Ah Chu?
  • Mineta: Gesundheit. Hehe, I kill myself.
  • Izuku: Minetaaa
  • Todoroki: Mineta?
  • Izuku: NO!
  • Todoroki: -frustrated- Then what is it!
  • Mineta: Deku! Deku was my best friend growing up!
  • Izuku: IT'S DEKU!
  • Todoroki: Deku.
  • Mineta: Though Deku did steal my gir -gets choked by Izuku-
  • *
  • Izuku: -arrives-
  • Kaminari: Looks like our new friend slept in this morning! Helloooo Deku, are you hungry?
  • Bakugou: Yeahhh, 'causse I owe you a knuckle sandwich -grabs Izuku with fist raised-
  • Todoroki: Soldiers! You will assemble swiftly and silently every morning. -takes off shirt-
  • Izuku: ... -secretly or not so secretly checkin' Todo out-
  • Todoroki: Anyone who acts otherwise, will answer to me.
  • *
  • Izuku: -eyes wide in fear and hiding behind lily pad- Hi guys! I didn't know you were here! So, I'm clean and I'm gonna go. BYE BYE!
  • Kaminari: Come back hereee! I know we were jerks to you before, so let's start over! -naked and holding hand out to shake- Hiiii, I'm Kaminari!
  • Izuku: -naked and worried, shakes hand and bumps into Kirishima standing behind her-
  • Kirishima: And I'm Kirishima!
  • Izuku: -cringes- Hello Kirishimaaa.
  • Bakugou: -butt naked and standing on a rock- AND I AM BAKUGOU KATSUKI. KING OF THE ROCK. And there's nothing you girl's can do about it.
  • Izuku: -covers eyes-
  • Kaminari: Oh yeahhh! Well, I think Deku and I can take you.
  • Izuku: -still covering eyes trying to get away- I don't really want to take him anywhere.
  • Kaminari: But, Deku! We have to fight!
  • Izuku: We can just close our eyes...and swim around -Kaminari touches her forearm and gets too close-
  • *
  • Mineta: -spits- Ohh...what a nasty flavor.
  • Bakugou, Kirishima and Kaminari: SNAKE~ -cue screaming at the snake in the water-
  • A moment later, Kirishima: Some king of the rock...AHH! -gets pushed off rock by Bakugou-
  • *
  • Izuku: Boy, that was close...
  • Mineta: -brushing teeth- No, that was vile. YOU OWE ME BIG.
  • *
  • Todoroki: -pissed and stroming off-
  • Izuku: Hey, I'll hold him and you punch, heh, heh...-Todoroki walks by without reacting- or not. -calling out to Todoorki- For what it's worth, I think you're a great captain.
  • Mineta: I saw that!
  • Izuku: -innocent and cute- What?
  • Mineta: You likeee him don't youuu?
  • Izuku: N-No, I--
  • Mineta: Yeah right, yeah sure. Look, GO TO YOUR TENT.
  • *
  • Kaminari: Step back guys, give 'em some air.
  • Todoroki: Deku, you are the craziest man I've ever met. And for that I owe you my life. From now on, you have my trust.
  • Kaminari: LET'S HEAR IT FOR DEKU! THE BRAVEST OF US ALL!
  • Bakugou: YOU'RE KING OF THE MOUNTAIN!
  • Kirishima: YES, YES, YESSS! -bumps hips with a random guy nearby-
  • *
  • Izuku: TODOROKI-KUN!
  • Todoroki: -surprised- Izuku?
  • Izuku: The League of Villains are alive, they're in the city.
  • Todoroki: You don't belong here Deku, go home.
  • Izuku: Todoroki, I saw them. You have to believe me.
  • Todoroki: Why should I?
  • Izuku: Why else would I come back? You said you'd trust Deku. Why is Izuku any different? Keep your eyes open. I know they're here.
  • *
  • Izuku: Okay, any questions?
  • Bakugou: Does this dress make me look fat?
  • Izuku: -slaps Bakugou-
  • Bakugou: Ow.
  • *
  • Todorki: -awkward- Um...you...you fight good.
  • Mulan: Oh....t-thank you. -disappointed-
  • *
  • Principal Nedzu: The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.
  • Todoroki: Sir?
  • Principal Nedzu: You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty.
  • Todoroki: -goes after Midoriya-
  • *
  • Izuku: -kneels before All Might- Father. I brought you the mask of All for One, and the crest of Principal Nedzu. They're gifts, to honor the Yagi family.
  • Toshinori Yagi: -drops everything to hug Izuku- The greatest gift and honor is having you for a daughter. I've missed you so.
  • Izuku: -crying- I've missed you too Papa!
  • *
  • Todoroki: Honorable Toshinori Yagi, All Might, I--IZUKU...I..uh...uh..you forgot your helmet. Ah but well, actually it's your helmet isn't it? I mean-
  • Toshinori Yagi: -smiles with eyebrow raised-
  • Izuku: -smiling at Todoroki- Would you like to stay for dinner?
  • Recovery Girl: Would you like to stay forever?
  • Todoroki: -smiling at Izuku- Dinner would be great.
  • *
  • Aizawa: Ohhh, all right. You can be a guardian again. -cue Mineta screaming in joy-

This is the text conversation Chloe has with Joyce in the first dream sequence, meaning this would have been the conversation to Chloe about William coming to get Joyce – the trip that would eventually kill him.

So.

What if Joyce hates pot roast because it reminds her of William?

“Make-A-Wish. Can I help you?”

I want to thank all the wonderful Tumblr-folk I tagged in this for contributing to one of the best reads I’ve had in a while. I would also like to apologize to those whose contributions I might have missed.

———————————————————————————–

I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those “Make a Wish Foundation” and similar people.

I mean, the heroes do. Of course they do. Kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City for just thirty seconds.

But surely there are also the kids, who - because they are kids and sometimes kids are just weird - decide that what they really, really want is to meet a supervillain. Because he’s scary or she’s awesome or that freeze ray is just really, really cool, you know?

The heroes would be so weirded out by it. The villains with codes of ethics would totally band together to force the villains without one (should they be the one requested) to do their part for the cause.

But imagine the person who has to track down the villains and organize everything?

Like, the first time it happens, no one actually thinks it’s possible, but one of the newbies volunteers to at least try. They get lucky, the kid wants to meet one of the villains who is well known to have a personal code of ethics (eg one of the rogues), and it takes them weeks to track the villain down to this one bar they’ve been seen at a few times, plus a week of staking out said bar, but they finally find them.

So they approach the villain, very politely introduce themselves and explain the situation, finishing with an assurance that, should the villain agree, no law enforcement or heroes will be informed of the meeting.

The villain, assuming it’s a joke, laughs in their face.

At this point, the poor volunteer, who has giving up weeks of their time and no small amount of effort to track down this villain, all so a sweet little girl can meet the person who somehow inspired them, well, at this point the employee sees red.

They explode, yelling at this villain about the little girl who, for some unknown reason, absolutely loved them, had a hand-made stuffed toy of them and was inspired by their struggle to keeping fighting her own and wasn’t the villain supposed to have ethics? The entire bar is witness to this big bad villain getting scolded by some bookish nobody a foot shorter than them.

When the volunteer is done, the villain calmly knocks back their drink, grips the volunteers shoulder and drags them outside. The bar’s patrons assume that person will never be seen again, the volunteer included. But once they’re outside, the villain apologizes for their assumption, asks for the kid’s details so they can drop by in the near future, not saying when for obvious reasons. They also give the very relieved volunteer a phone number to call if someone asks for them again.

A week later, the little girl’s room is covered in villain merchandise, several expensive and clearly stolen gifts and she is happily clutching a stack of signed Polaroids of her and the villain.

The next time a kid asks to meet a villain, guess who gets that assignment?

Turns out, the first villain was quite touched by the experience of meeting their little fan, and word has gotten around. The second villain happily agrees when they realize it’s the same volunteer who asked the other guy. Unfortunately, one of the heroes sees the villain entering the kid’s hospital and obviously assumes the worst. They rush in, ready to drag the villain out, but the volunteer stands in their way. The hero spends five minutes getting scolded for trying to stop the villain from actually doing a good thing and almost ruining the kid’s wish. The volunteer gets a reputation among villains as someone who can not only be trusted with personal contact numbers but who will do everything they can to keep law enforcement away during their visits.

The volunteer has a phonebook written in cypher of all the villain’s phone numbers, with asterixes next to the ones to call if any other villains give them trouble.

Around the office, they gain the unofficial job title of The Villain Wrangler.

The heroes are genuinely flabbergasted by The Villain Wrangler. At first, some of the heroes try to reason with them.

Heroes: “Can’t you, just, give us their contact details? They’ll never even have to know it was you.”

The Villain Wrangler: “Yeah sure, <rollseyes> because all these evil geniuses could never possibly figure out that it’s me who happens to be the common thread in the sudden mass arrests. Look man, even if it wouldn’t get me killed, it would disappoint the kids. You wouldn’t want to disappoint the kids would you?”

Heroes: “… no~ but…”

The Villain Wrangler: “Exactly.”

Eventually, one of the anti-hero types gets frustrated, and decides to take a stand. They kidnap the Villain Wrangler and demand that they give up the contents of the little black book of Villains, or suffer the consequences. It’s For the Greater Good, the anti-hero insists as they tie the Villain Wrangler to a pillar.

The Villain Wrangler: “You complete idiot, put me back before someone figures out that I’m missing.”

Anti-hero: “…excuse me?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Ugh, do I have to spell this out for you? Do you actually want your secret base to be wiped off the map? With us in it? Sugarsticks, how long has it been? If they get suspicious, they check in, and then if I miss a check-in, they tend to come barging into wherever I am just to prove that they can, even if they figure out that they’re not being threatened by proxy. Suffice to say, Auntie Muriel really regretted throwing my phone into the pool when she strenuously objected to me answering it during family time. If they think for even one moment that I’ve given them up, they won’t hesitate to obliterate both of us from their potential misery. You do know some of the people in my book have like missiles and djinni and elemental forces at their disposal, right?”

Anti-hero: “Wait, what? I thought they trusted you?!”

The Villain Wrangler: “Trust is such a strong word!”

Villain: “Indeed.”

Anti-hero: “Wait, wha-” <slumps over, dart sticking out of neck>

The Villain Wrangler: “Thanks. I thought they were going to hurt me.”

Villain: “You did well. You kept them distracted, and gave us time to follow your signal.” <cuts Villain Wrangler free>

The Villain Wrangler: <rubbing circulation back into limbs> “Yeah well, you know me; I do whatever I have to. So I’ll see you Wednesday at four at St Martha’s? I’ve got an 8yo burns unit patient recovering from her latest batch of skin grafts who could really use a pep talk.”

Villain: “… of course. Yes… I… yes.”

The Villain Wrangler: “I just think you could really reach her, you know?”

Villain: <unconsciously runs fingers over mask> “I… yes, but, what should I say?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Whatever advice you think you could have used the most just after.”

Villain: <hoists Anti-hero over shoulder almost absently> “….yes.”

The Villain Wrangler wasn’t lying to the Anti-hero. They know that the more ruthless villains would not hesitate if they thought for one second that the Anti-hero would betray them.

But this is not the first time the Villain Wrangler has gone to extreme lengths to protect their identities.

Trust is a strong word. The Villain Wrangler earned it, and is terrified by what it could mean.

My first official Deadpool headcanon is this. This this this.

Okay but this whole concept actually makes a lot of sense, because villains are a lot more likely to be disfigured/disabled/use adaptive devices (bc ableist tropes), so of course, say, a child amputee is going to be more interested in the villain with a robot arm who almost destroyed New York than the heroes that took him down.

Also, imagine one of the kids gets better, and a few years down the line becomes a villain themselves, except their crimes are things like smuggling chemo drugs across the border for families that can’t afford treatment, or stealing from corrupt businessmen to make donations to underfunded hospitals (idk this turned into a Leverage AU or something) and every time the heroes encounter her, they’re like “oh no. she’s getting away. Curses. Welp, nothing we can do.” Though it isn’t that she can’t take them on; bc of course once the villain from way back when found out what she was up to, he started helping/training her.

“I thought they just hired someone to dress up and pretend to be you,” she says, amazed, when he reveals himself. “I didn’t think they actually got the real you!”

Every year the Villain Wrangler gets a very expensive gift basket from the pair.

And for the kids who don’t get better the villains are there too, they show up to every funeral, they bear too small coffins on their shoulders and the heroes stand aside

They are fierce with grieving families assuring them that their child will not be forgotten, and they don’t balk at negative emotions, they don’t tell people to be strong or “celebrate their child’s life,” because these parents have every right to their grief and anger

And the lost children are never forgotten. Flowers appear on graves during birthdays and anniversaries, heroes find pictures of those kids and they carefully take them down and ensure they’re delivered to the villain’s cell, and a few villains can be seen with friendship bracelets wrapped around their wrists the cops have learned not to try and take them off

They are fierce with grieving families assuring them that their child will not be forgotten, and they don’t balk at negative emotions, they don’t tell people to be strong or “celebrate their child’s life,” because these parents have every right to their grief and anger

And then one day, one of the evil geniuses who happens to specialize in inducing bizarre genetic mutations meets a young fan who was born with a rare genetic disorder that is slowly killing them, and realizes that they can help.

Another, who created their own exosuit, talks to a young fan and suddenly understands how much the technology that they have built for themselves could revolutionize quality of life for people with muscular dystrophy, or paraplegia, or other disorders that confine people to wheelchairs with little mobility.

A third thinks of a way that their nanobots could be used to detect and remove cancer cells when their fan, who had been in remission, writes to say that the doctors have found a new metastasizing tumour.

Then shortly after, an evil genius specializing in cloning is contacted by an old colleague asking if a suitable heart couldn’t be grown for their young fan with a congenital heart condition who needs a donor.

Suddenly, a pattern of villains offering (and marketing) their insights and resources to improve medical science starts to arise. Many who had previously been operating on society’s fringes are shocked to receive public accolades, research grants and job offers from major companies because of their work.

A grassroots movement arises advocating for imprisoned villains with appropriate qualifications and/or experience to have access to resources to conduct research for the public good. The Second Chance Rehabilitation Project launches.

(It is an open secret that only people who have been vetted by the Villain Wrangler are allowed to join, because the Villain Wrangler has by now a meticulously set up method and intelligence network to run background checks and character references through ensure that none of the children wishing to meet their role models get hurt.)

This is all soooo good, but I wonder what effect this has on the villains. Like, can they really wreak indiscriminate havoc when they know the kids that worship them might be in the area? Like, what if they attack a shopping mall and it just so happens that Annie’s mom ran in for a pair of shoes or something? What then?

So what you’re saying is that there is now an organization of henchmen who do round the clock, exhaustive research in order to make sure the villain’s plan isn’t going to ruin the life of some kid. Just imagine some aunt getting a call from an unlisted number.

“I swear I am not a bill collector ma’am. It’s just. Well. Ok and I swear I am not a stalker even if this is actually going to be a very creepy phone call, but you said you were going to the mall at four? Is it possible you could reschedule or postpone that trip for about an hour? That mall is way too close to…well. It just wouldn’t be safe. I could wire you some money, and you could go to the much nicer mall one town over? Would that work for you? No? You are calling the police? Yes. Yes that is the sensible thing to do. Definitely do that. You have a nice day, ma’am. Tell Marcus Doctor Evil says hello and to have a nice day.”

And then the poor minion has to call the villain and explain why robbing X bank isn’t a good idea that day.

“Yes. Hello. Sir? Oh good I caught you before you left the base. Look, Marcus Smithson’s aunt is going to be near the blast radius for that job you have scheduled so-yes. Yes I am aware that rescheduling is going to be a lot of work since most everything is already set up, but….but, sir think about poor Marcus! She’s his favorite aunt, and the woman refused to ‘reorder her life around some crazy mastermind’. ……no…..no, please do not kidnap the aunt, sir. It’s terribly rude. Yes I realize you weren’t going to keep her or doing anything other than drop her off at an alternative location, but, well, citizens frown upon that sort of thing and….yes….Yes, of course. You have a good day, too, sir.”

And they turn to their coworker and are just like “So if I don’t come in to work tomorrow it’s because Doctor Evil threw me in his dungeon and/or sent his hellhounds to maul me. Please remember to send help.

But but but… what happens when one falls through the cracks? When Lord Dominion or whatever does a typical baddie thing but then Penny’s new best friend gets caught up in the damage and Lord D didn’t even KNOW Penny had a new bestie so how was he to know? But now the kid is devastated and it’s all his fault? I mean, how does that even shake out?

Penny SWEARS REVENGE! Lord D is distraught but also somewhat proud. He sends Penny a very sincere apology and also a bunch of tips on how to execute a proper vengeance plot, in case she decides not to accept the apology. He sends henchmen to spy on her, and he keeps the surveillance photos of her sitting in her room, plans and schematics strewn all over her desk. He puts them in his wallet and brags to all his villain friends that one of his kids is taking up scheming, look at her go, she’s already started on pattern analysis of his latest heists. He’s so proud. Later this month he’ll show up on her way home from school so she can have her first Confrontation.

There will inevitably be mistakes and tragedies.

Penny is an intelligent kid. She catches on to the spying henchmen pretty quick and bribes some of them to her side with snacks. That first confrontation does not go like Lord Dominion expected because Penny has minions (minions that are using his OWN WEAPONS against him, even)

Lord Dominion is the proudest villain ever, even if he did almost lose an ear thanks to the impeccable aim of a nine year old with a grudge. He does let the laser blast graze him just so he can have a scar to show people because that girl is a villain after his own heart.

He doesn’t want to ask his villain rivals to help her out because that would imply he doesn’t think she’s capable of eventually growing strong enough to kick his ass. Turns out Penny already thought of that and has mailed letters asking for advice to Lady Sinister, Lord Dominion’s long time, mostly friendly rival. (She mailed a letter to Lord D’s arch nemesis, but man. Heroes are always trying to make you do The Right Thing. Penny doesn’t have time for the high road. Plus, the low road has lasers.)

Lady Sinister thinks Penny is the best thing ever and while she has mostly stopped kicking Lord D’s ass, she still breaks into his hideout to sit in his favorite chair with a glass of wine and brags about her new favorite up and coming villainess. (She doesn’t warn Lord D about the attack rabbits she agreed to train for Penny as a favor, and for obvious reasons, she is going to be a bystander at the next confrontation, filming everything on her phone to post the dark web so all their villain friends can see this)Being able to say that one is involved with the Project begins to look really good in parole hearings. The Villains involved perform their own quality checks on one another, because if one of their kids got hurt, then all of their kids could potentially lose out, and the ones that are serious about the Project are not having that. (Also, the ability to collaborate with other geniuses is the most interesting thing to happen to most of them since losing to various heroes, and most consider the intellectual stimulation to be worth putting up with the ridiculous egos and inevitable personality clashes that arise.)

Reformed Villains come out of the woodwork to advocate about better mental healthcare, and support systems. Savvy universities and private labs quietly take their advice, setting up better mental health supports and laboratory safety standards to prevent the Brain Drain caused by losing their less stable scientists to the Costumes.

The Villain Wrangler watches all of this develop with a smile.

Their plan succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

I’m so down for these posts that assume the best of people instead of the worst

Okay, this part caught my attention: “…the Villain Wrangler has by now a meticulously set up method and intelligence network…to ensure that none of the children…gets hurt.” Which led me to the heartbreaking realization that one DID. Get hurt, that is, by the villain they idolized.

And all I can think is that the Villain Wrangler didn’t call in the heroes. They didn’t call in another heart-of-gold villain. No. The VW rolled up their sleeves and went after this person themselves. This project is their baby, after all. If they get the accolades for the successes, they must also shoulder the burden of the failures.

The VW hunts down the villain that crossed the line. Their punishment is swift and horrifying; no hero would have the stomach to mete out justice in such a way, and no villain would have the desire to get quite that much blood on their own hands.

There’s. So. Much. Blood.

The Villain Wrangler never forgets. They increase security, increase the hours and background checks, they increase the graveside visits to the child they failed.

Just the one. But one is one too many.

The Villain Wrangler is no kid. She doesn’t find these people by chance. She doesn’t know how to put the fear of god into supervillains with a few sharp words out of chance.

The Villain Wrangler is in her 40s, and she’s an experienced nurse.  She works at the biggest Level 1 trauma center in (NYC/Chicago/Metropolis/Gotham) and she gets her first few villains because she’d met them at the hospital during their origin story. She treated some of them when they came in with their disfigurement. She sat with the genius while his wife died of her illness and they were powerless to save her. She kept in touch with them on Tumblr and Facebook and Twitter and recognized their personal touches when a new supervillain emerged.

And she didn’t say anything because nobody would believe her, because she’d be just another crackpot conspiracy theorist, and because it would break her oath, it would break doctor-patient confidentiality.

But when she decided to start volunteering at the attached children’s hospital’s Make-a-Wish program, she recognized who that child wanted to see.  She knew how to reach him.  She PM’d him to arrange a meeting and reveal that she knew who his other identity was. And for all his bluster, he knew that he owed her this.

And some other supervillains were brought in the same way.  The nurses knew who’d gone through trauma, they recognized their patients and their patents’ loved ones and when a child called out for one of them, they’d find that supervillain.

The nurses are the lynchpin.

Crush

Requested By Anon

Pairings: Peter Parker x F!Reader


Peter has created a chatroom.

Peter has invited Wanda, Scott, Bruce, T’Challa, Vision, Thor, Y/N, Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Rhodey, Tony, Clint, Sam.

Scott: This is amazing! Everyone’s here!

Peter has invited Loki, Wade, Pietro.

Clint: You could have left them out!

Pietro: I know, right? Wade and Loki are weird.

Loki: He means you too, mortal.

Thor: Greetings, Brother!

Loki: Thor.

Thor: BROTHER!

Loki: THOR!

Thor: B R O T H E R !

Loki: T H O R !

Y/N: Loki, he’s not going to stop until you address him as brother.

Loki: But he’s not my brother!

Thor: MY BROTHER.

T’Challa: I would do it before you upset him.

Loki: NO.

Bruce: Thor :) Is :) Your :) Brother, :) Okay? :) :) :) Don’t :) Test :) My :) Patience :)

Loki: My brother, Thor! How nice to talk with you again!

Thor: Indeed it is, Brother!

Bruce: good.

Thor: :D :D :D

Rhodey: Anyone else really scared right now?

Wanda: I’m more scared of the fact that Thor now knows how to do this: :D

Vision: I find it rather cute.

Wade: My Peetie has something very important to say. Please be quiet.

Y/N: SINCE WHEN ARE YOU POLITE?!

Wade: I always am!

Y/N: Oh, I see. He’s trying to impress the team.

Wade: I am not!

Y/N: Let’s see how long you’ll be able to keep this up.

Thor: Wade is rather vulgar so this is quite strange seeing him like this.

Wanda: He’s swearing in his mind!

Wade: Please. I am the definition of well mannered.

Clint: HAHAHA RIGHT RIGHT SURE

Wade: LET PEETIE SAY WHAT HE WANTS TO SAY!

Tony: What’s up, kid?

Peter: I have gathered you all here to let you know of the greatness of my crush.

Natasha: Awww my spiderling, you have a crush?! Who is it?

Sam: So we’re all here… To know about your crush… Fun.

Peter: She’s beautiful.

Y/N: Why didn’t you tell me you had a crush? You usually tell me everything…

Thor: We would like to meet her :D :D

Vision: …so cute.

Peter: You will, soon!

Y/N: Oh look, I have to leave at ten to soon. I won’t be able to meet her.

Scott: This is great! Tell us more about her.

Y/N: Or keep it to yourself, that’s fine.

Pietro: I would think you would be happy for him, Y/N?

Y/N: I am.

Wanda: Suuuure you are.

Wanda: I’M SORRY! STOP THINKING OF THAT!

Y/N: Stay out of my mind then!

Peter: FIND OUT WHO HER CRUSH IS

Rhodey: Read Tony’s mind.

Bruce: What’s the pin to all his credit cards?

Rhodey: Tell us.

Tony: Brucie, Rhodey baby. I’m offended that you think I wouldn’t share that with you. Go wild. Buy whatever you want. All you had to do was ask.

Sam: Why aren’t we friends like that?!

Bucky: I blame Steve.

Steve: Me?!

Sam: You don’t buy us anything.

Bucky: Yeah, Steve.

Sam: Step up your game!

Wade: Ladies.

Steve: I help save the world. I lead this team. I went against the law for you, Bucky. I broke you out of prison, Sam! After all I have done… Yet you disrespect me like this? I thought our friendship was real.

Tony: The Captain is upset…

Rhodey: …Maybe he needs to…

Tony: …Chill out!

Rhodey: Yeaaahhhh!

T’Challa: What?

Tony: You know, cause he was frozen.

Pietro: That is the lamest joke I’ve ever heard.

T’Challa: I agree.

Wade: Laaadieeees.

Rhodey: That joke kills!

Pietro: Because it’s so bad?

Tony: Don’t listen to him, Rhodey. He doesn’t understand our humor.

Thor: Haha, Lady Y/N, Sir Scott, do you remember the time we went to Asgard and absconded with my brother’s most prized possessions?

Peter: What?! Without me?!

Y/N: Maybe if you weren’t so busy with your crush I would have invited you.

Loki: YOU OAF, I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SET FOOT IN MY ROOM!

Scott: I thought we were keeping that a secret…

Wade: Laaaadiessssss.

Y/N: Why would you bring that up, Thor?

Thor: I remembered and thought I would share the fun memory :D :D :D

Vision: Love it.

Wade: LADIES.

Clint: YOU WENT TO ASGARD WITHOUT US

Pietro: Not fair! I’ve been asking Thor for months to take me!

Wade: WHAT THE SHIT YOU SPANDEX LOVING ASSHOLES

Wade: HOW ABOUT YOU ALL NEVER UTTER A SINGLE WORD AGAIN, HUH?

Wade: YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK… lovesick.

Wade: I ACTUALLY CONSIDERED JOINING THE X-MEN

Wade: EVEN BUCKY, OUR VERY OWN DORY, CAN STAY ON TOPIC LONGER THAN ANY OF YOU, AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING.

Bucky: Who the hell is Bucky?

Sam: That’s not funny.

Steve: Bucky?! Do you not remember who you are? It’s me, Steve!

Sam: … really?

Loki: What did you think would happen when you bring 18 people into a chat?

Y/N:… Wade beat his record. 10 minutes.

T’Challa: That’s longer than we expected.

Clint: He’s evolving.

Wade: Peetie, go on.

Wade: PEETIE.

Peter: What?

Peter: Oh sorry! I was daydreaming about my crush. She’s just so amazing.

Y/N: If she’s SO amazing, why haven’t you introduced us to her yet?

T’Challa: Someone’s jealous.

Peter: I will introduce you all to her. But I’m not sure if she likes me.

Y/N: I don’t see how she couldn’t.

Thor: You are very lovable, Spider-Boy. I agree with Lady Y/N :D

Vision: adorable.

Tony: I want to meet her. Like now.

Clint: Me too.

Tony: What if she’s not that good?

Clint: WHAT IF SHE HURTS HIM

Tony: WE WON’T ALLOW IT

Wade: Shhh. Shhhh. Shhhhut up. 

Bruce: You’re extra weird today.

Natasha: More weird than Clint.

Clint: Whaaaaaat? You dare sully my name! How dare you!

Natasha: See what I mean?

Vision: Will we finally know the identity of your crush? 

Y/N: We don’t need to know.

Wanda: Yes we do!

Y/N: No, we don’t!

Wanda: YES

Y/N: NO

Wanda: TRUST ME Y/N. YOU DO.

Wanda: I mean, we do.*

Loki: Ehehehehe, I know who it is!

Peter: How do you know who it is?!

Thor: :D Tell us :D Brother!

Vision: So proud.

Loki: … Stay away from my brother, android man.

Thor: HE CALLED ME BROTHER ON HIS OWN ACCORD!!!!!!!!

Loki has left the chat.

Thor: D:

Vision: It’s okay, Thor. Do not be sad.

Clint: The creepy snowman is gone.

Tony: Who do we thank for this?

Clint: A BLESSING!

Tony: Let us all rejoice!

Steve: … Why are all of you more intense versions of yourselves today?

Y/N: See Peter, this is what happens when you bring us all together…

Peter: I am starting to regret it.

T’Challa: If we can conclude this, I would be thankful. I have business to attend to.

Peter: So you know my crush is beautiful? But she’s more than that. So much more. She’s smart, and funny. I love all her little quirks.

Wade: WAIT

Peter: I… was on a roll there…

Wade: We’re forgetting someone!

Natasha: If you add the olive man I will end you.

Rhodey: Who could it possibly be?

Wade has added Dopinder.

Y/N: OHMYGOD

Clint: Who… Who is this?

Y/N: WADE ARE YOU SERIOUS

Tony: Hello person we do not know. At all.

Y/N: DOPINDER HELLO

Steve: ????????

Peter: I’m really starting to hate you, Wade.

Wade: Is it because Y/N is excited that he’s here? Don’t worry, he likes Gita.

Dopinder: Hello, Mr. Pool. and friends.

Wade: Now that everyone is here, you may continue, Peetie.

Peter: It’s Y/N. My crush is Y/N. I really like you, Y/N.

Clint: WHAT

Pietro: You didn’t see that coming?

Pietro has left the chat.

Clint: Yeah, you better run!

Wanda: I was right! I told you, Y/N! But did you listen? Nooooo! Why listen to a MIND READER?!

Wanda has left the chat.

Y/N: Me?!

Y/N: So you don’t like someone else?

Y/N: But me?!

Sam: Ooooh, you were so jealous!

Y/N: NO I WASN’T

Bucky: Jealous of yourself!

Clint: Do you like Peter too?

Thor: :D :D :D :D :D SHE DOES SHE TOLD ME

Y/N: SNITCH!

Y/N: I like you too, Peter.

Peter: Thor, if you don’t mind,

Peter: :D :D :D THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE :D :D :D

Thor: :D

Peter: :D

Thor: :D

Peter: :D

Vision: What am I witnessing here? Remarkable.

T’Challa: Congratulations! Y/N, Shuri says, “I told you so.” She looks forward to your upcoming visit. Please try not to scare any of the diplomats like last time. I have to go now. I will see you and Shuri in a week.

T’Challa has left the chat.

Tony: Always so busy. I guess we all kind of knew who your crush is.

Peter: You did?!

Bruce: It was painfully obvious.

Rhodey: Same goes for you, Y/N.

Y/N: I was not obvious! … Right?

Bruce: Basically, everyone knew, but the two of you.

Natasha: We should give them some privacy! I am so happy for you two.

Natasha has left the chat.

Bruce has left the chat.

Rhodey has left the chat.

Thor has left the chat.

Vision has left the chat.

Bucky has left the chat.

Clint: I don’t know how I feel about this…

Clint: I will be monitoring the chat.

Clint: Especially you, Peter.

Clint: ESPECIALLY. YOU.

Peter: o…kay

Clint has left the chat.

Wade: Peetie. DON’T GET ANY OF YOUR DISGUSTING WEBS ON HER OR ELSE.

Wade: You can’t see that I’m making threatening hand signs, but I totally am!

Wade: I will be chaperoning all your dates.

Wade has left the chat.

Y/N: Are the rest of you going to leave too…?

Steve: Yeah. Sure.

Y/N: You’re still not leaving…

Steve: Okay, bye.

Y/N: Steve.

Steve: Yeah?

Y/N: You’re still here…

Steve: Haha, am I?

Peter: Yup…

Steve: How do I work this thing? Say whatever you two have to say. It’ll be like I’m not even here! I won’t even look at my phone.

Peter: I am really regretting adding everyone to the chat…

Sam: You’ll regret it even more if you do anything to hurt her, Mr Team Ironjerk.

Tony: So if the kid was on Cap’s side, you’d be fine with this?

Sam: Nah.

Tony: THEN WHY INSULT ME LIKE THAT

Steve: Okay, Sam. We should go.

Sam: REMEMBER, I TAUGHT HER HOW TO KILL A MAN IN 10 SECONDS!

Sam: Actually Natasha did that but you get my point!

Sam has left the chat.

Steve has left the chat.

Tony: So, kid. Y/N has always been like a daughter to me. Is it okay if I call you son now? I do expect you to eventually marry her. That would make you my son-in-law. So, son, I’m quite glad it’s going to be you instead of some of the other people she’s liked. She’s growing up so fast. I remember when she became an Avenger. Bruce and I were working on invisibility fields. Ever seen those funny videos where people walk into glass doors? She walked right into it.

Y/N: let that memory DIE.

Tony: You should bring your aunt over and we’ll all have a big family dinner. You, your aunt, Y/N, Bruce, Clint spying in the vents, Rhodey and I.

Scott: Can I come?

Y/N: Scott! You’re still here?!

Scott: I’ve been here the entire time.

Peter: I’ll ask my aunt, Mr. Stark.

Tony: Please, call me dad.

Peter: I prefer Mr. Stark.

Tony: Dad.

Peter: I’d rather not, Mr. Stark.

Tony: Uncle Tony is fine too.

Dopinder: Where did Mr. Pool go?

Dopinder: I seem to have missed a lot.

Dopinder: It is an honor to be here with you, Mr. Stark!

Dopinder: And you too, Y/N, you’re amazing!

Scott: Excuse me.

Scott: Hi, I’m Scott.

Scott: The fangirling is my thing.

Dopinder: … I’m sorry but you are?

Scott: NO WONDER HE LIKES TONY.

Scott has left the chat.

Dopinder: ?

Dopinder has left the chat.

Peter: Who else is still in the chat that I forgot about?!

Tony: I will get everything ready for tonight. Have fun kids. But not too much fun.

Tony has left the chat.

Y/N: I’m glad that’s finally over.

Peter: Me too.

Peter: So, um,

Peter: Y/N,

Peter: Would you like to go on a date, tomorrow? It would have been tonight but Mr. Stark is hosting this dinner now, unless you’d like to go to the dinner with me as my date?

Clint has joined the chat.

Clint: NO DATING UNTIL YOU’RE STEVE’S AGE

Clint: THAT APPLIES TO BOTH OF YOU

Y/N: Yes, Peter. I would love to!

Clint: NO WHAT DID I SAY

Peter: Great!

Clint: NO LISTEN TO ME, UNCLE CLINT KNOWS BEST

Y/N: I’ll see you tonight!

Y/N has left the chat.

Peter: I guess you’ll be there too, Clint?

Clint: DAMN RIGHT!

Peter: You’re my favorite uncle that’s alive.

Peter has left the chat.

Clint: OOOOH TONY IS NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THAT HAHAHA!

Clint has left the chat.