this man will kill me eventually

I figure after Bucky spends a long time being so conflicted and ashamed about his time as the Winter Soldier the he can’t even talk about it, eventually he realizes that everyone seems to actually like him and it freaks him out. And for months, no one can get him to stop reminding them about why they all should hate him. Steve’s like, “Here are your pancakes, buddy.” “One time I killed a guy in front of his daughter.” “Yeah, you told me. I love you anyway. Eat your pancakes.” On a run with Sam, he passes him and Sam calls after him like, “You’re only running three laps to my one? Man, you’re slacking.” Bucky slows down long enough to say, “I tortured people too, you know.” “I hope you don’t think that’s gonna make me go easy on you,” Sam says as he speeds up and passes Bucky for the first time. Later, Natasha stops by with the Friends box set and gives it to Bucky. “You and Steve should watch this one night. Invite me over when you start it, okay?” And Bucky just clutch he’s the DVDs and stares at her with narrow eyes and flared nostrils until she’s like, “What?” “I SHOT YOU!” Nat shrugs, “Just once. Do it again and I’ll stop bringing you new TV shows.”

Originally posted by maxinegunter

‘Shiro ships are power imbalanced!’

You mean…

Shallura - In which Allura who smashed down a metal door with brute strength alone, and literally threw the man like a piece of meat? Both are young and forced into situations where they had to grow up before their time which is something they can sympathize and relate to with. Not to mention there’s a lot of things both us and Allura herself have yet to discover about her.
Fly Shiro, fly!

Shunk - They’re EQUALLY intelligent and Hunk is confirmed PHYSICALLY STRONGER and if he was more battle smart/fit, could actually wreck Shiro. Hunk would probably be the castle’s reigning arm wrestling champion! People seem to also forget Hunk isn’t a pushover, if something doesn’t seem right to him, he’s going to call shit out on it and would make sure something is done about it.

Shidge - Definitely has a power imbalance, look at this take-no-shit tiny nerd own Shiro on sheer intelligence alone. Pidge made a freaking functional satellite on her own out of random metal scraps just floating in space, and has killed a man Galra. No one is safe, not even Shiro.
I think it’s also good to point out that pretty much the majority of Shidge shipper DO NOT ship them at 14 and 25, so don’t give me any of that age shit. If you argue about why people make Pidge so small, fun fact: small people exist!

Sheith - Keith is a one man army, even when he got his arse handed to him by fucking spies with god only knows how much more battle experience under their belts, he’d keep going and fought on sheer tenacity alone and eventually figured his way out. Keith ain’t no delicate flower who’d bend over backwards just because he loves Shiro, the man has proven he’s willing to make sacrifices for the greater good, even if it’s going to hurt.

Shance - Granted it’s a bit hard to find evidence for (we’re only 2 seasons in, there’ll hopefully be more material for it in the future) but Lance has already proven to be very good at improvising and think quick in stressful situations, not to mention he ain’t their sharpshooter for nothing. Plus Lance is known for being a very social creature; he’d be insanely switched on when it comes to relationships, platonic, familial, romantic, or otherwise, and he clearly knows about self care especially from an emotional standpoint.

Can we please stop dismissing these characters quality traits just to shit on ships and treating them as if they were infants? And can we please stop slandering Shiro, the man has never done any abusive thing towards any of his teammates and would never do it willingly *coughcoughKurocoughcough*, and there’s more statements confirming he’s a teen than the supposed 25 so don’t even start. As I said, we’re only 2/8 seasons into the story, which means everyone on team Voltron is going to get development and grow in both their skills and as people; 6 more seasons of watching this group become terrifying forces of nature.

And if anything, if you want to protect anyone it should be this poor 4/5 year old. Baby’s been though enough already.

(Unfortunately our consistent party tends to be just three people: myself, my husband, and a friend of ours. When I’m DM, I’m almost constantly caught off guard by the things my players do. Even when I go out of my way to try and come up with every possible thing they could do, they manage to do something unexpected. Here’s a few examples…)

Bear Hunting

(Story is an elven man is a mentor to a young human boy. His parents died under mysterious circumstances; everyone believes a bear killed his parents. After some investigating, it was determined that the elven man killed both parents with arrows to the heart, on account of they were going to sell their son into slavery. This follows.)

Husband: I let the elf go and go hunting.

Me: Uh, okay. What are you hunting for?

Husband: A bear.

Me: ….. *retrieves Bestiary* Ooookay then…

(He eventually succeeds in killing two bears, then brought one to the boy as ‘the one that killed his parents’. I actually, honestly expected him to kill the elf mentor…)


(A young boy is causing a scene in a city, harassing some guards. My players come and get the situation calmed, getting the guards to leave. It turns out that the boy’s father was a wizard who was wrongfully executed and he’s taking out his anger on the guards. Then this happens…)

Me: The boy, still distraught, casts Magic Missile at (husband). Take 2 damage.

Husband: Ow.

Friend (a ninja): I jump kick the boy in the head.

Me: ….what.

Friend: *hard stare*

Me: …. (We roll appropriately) He takes 12 nonlethal damage and is knocked unconscious.

Friend: *to my husband, in character* Shall I dispatch this miscreant for you, master?

Husband: NO.

Brothel Battle

(A slaver ship captain is in a brothel. I expected the players to just wait on the docks for him to return. Instead, they split up and end up at the brothel together. One is an Inquisitor (husband), the other is a vigilante (friend). Both are male. I fully expect both of them to enter as patrons. Instead…)

Friend: I disguise myself as a woman named ‘Rose’.

Me: …..Okay.

Husband: *shaking head*

Friend: I go inside and pretend to be looking for a job.

(We RP him approaching the Madame, and her offering rates and such things for 'Rose’. Note that the vigilante’s hero name is “The Wild Rose”, the brothel’s name is “The Blooming Rose”, and the Madame’s name is “Rosa”. The place is also heavily guarded by false patrons wearing masks. Husband comes in as a patron looking for a woman of Rose’s exact description, so he’s escorted to her room as her first patron. Then they just wait in the room for the man they suspect to be the captain to come by. After actually yanking him into the room when he turned down Rose’s advances [he preferred strong women, but Rose was dainty and childlike], they fight, and win. However, an alert goes up. I expect the pair to jump out the window. Instead…)

Husband: I run out of the room and around the corner, duck into another room, and cast Invisibility on myself.

Friend: I scream and pretend (Inquisitor) killed my customer.

(They proceeded to escape and even took the captain’s boots before they left, both of them invisible at this point.)

A Whole New Use for Bear Traps

(Same as the previous game, the two are sneaking around the house of a rich family and spot bear traps in the garden. I expect them to either move the traps, spring them, or ignore them. Instead…)


Me: ….Okay, you do so.

(Few moments later, after a successful perception check to notice footsteps nearby…)

Me: You hear someone sneaking around.


Me: …..WHY.

(It was an ally of theirs sneaking around, but he barely managed to NOT get her head stuck in a bear trap. Later on he used them again on a guard. Rather than roll damage, I just accepted it as the guard died instantly. For his sake…)

Overwatch Chatroom: Y/n will be missed

I’m on Mobil so it won’t look pretty.
- Forest


Y/n has started a chatroom.

McCree, Genji, Tiddy Man, D.Va, Junkrat, and Mercy have logged in.

Tiddy Man: Is there something you need, Y/n?

Tiddy Man: ….



Y/n: that is not important right now.

Y/n: reaper is out to kill me over a simple mistake. I just wanted to say my goodbyes before he finds me.

Genji: What did you do exactly?

Mercy: He’ll get over it eventually. It’s not like he’ll actually kill you.

McCree: whatever you did, he’ll get over it.

Junkrat: Reaper just broke down a door. What did you do, missy?

Y/n: I may have accidentally dropped paint on his cloak while painting..

Mercy: does he realize it will wash off, right?

McCree: wash his cloak, darlin

Y/n: the paint I use doesn’t wash off..

D.Va: rip. You’ll be missed

Genji: But will he really hurt you over something so simple.

Tiddy Man: Doesn’t he have other cloaks?


Reaper has logged on.

Junkrat: rip Y/n



D.Va: Chill???

Tiddy Man: Hana, this is Gabriel Reyes you’re talking to.

Genji: typing*

Reaper: ..Tiddy man??

Tiddy Man: Please change my name.

McCree: dont

D.Va: dont

Mercy: Gabe, leave y/n alone. She’ll buy you a new cloak.

Reaper: her death will be quick and painless, I promise.

Y/n has changed Tiddy Man’s name to Hanzo.

Hanzo: Thank you.

Hanzo: Tell me where you are so I can come help you.


D.Va: I see why he wants to kill you.

Junkrat: oh hey, I found her.

Reaper: WHERE IS SHE!?


Mercy: I’m actually worried now, don’t tell him.

Mercy: Someone restrain Gabe



Genji: Reaper don’t hurt her.

Reaper has logged out.


D.Va: rip you’ll be missed.

Y/n has logged out.

Mercy: Genji make sure he doesn’t get to her! I’ll be there in a bit.

Genji: I’ll protect her for as long as I can.

Genji has logged out.
Mercy has logged out.

Junkrat: how cute.

D.Va: omg otp

McCree: should we help?

Hanzo: we probably should

Hanzo has logged out.
Junkrat has logged out.
McCree has logged out.
D.Va has logged out.


Kill mE

OMFG this is killing me do you guys even realize?? I can’t even put it into words, but this child has gone through every emotion in the book for Tsukiyama. Shuu is the ultimate fake-it-til-you-make-it idol. He started off looking down on Kaneki as food, then eventually pledged his loyalty which Kaneki BARELY accepted, he was so skeptical of Tsukiyama for so long. Finally after all this time he’s earnestly asking Tsukiyama to stay with him TILL THE END. “Please never leave my side, please always be my right-hand man, please always believe in me and follow me” LIKE!!! I can’t be the only person screeching about this, the character development is astounding and the relationship between these two can’t be ignored regardless of what label you put on it and I live for it

I honestly love the way Gotham did the Nygmobblepot reunion. In a way, it was almost scarier that Oswald didn’t say anything.  He truly is a terrifying individual. Ed is damn lucky Oswald couldn’t reach him because part of me believes Oswald was angry enough in that moment to seriously hurt him. Oswald is a man of words. You know when he’s pissed off because he’ll scream it at you and then kill you. But there, he was dead silent. He was so pissed that words could not suffice to tell Ed how pissed he was. And the look in his eyes was bone chilling. I don’t think any words could possibly do justice to the magnitude of this reunion. Even though we all know it will eventually be okay, in that moment is very much was not okay and Oswald has every right to be fucking livid and murderous for a while.

anonymous asked:

Can you write the RFA and minor trio reacting to MC's little brother (around 12) who is very attached to his older sister and does not like the RFA? (All men/women are wolves MC!) How would they win him over?

I’m so sorry this took so long, anon!! I hope you read it even though it’s been awhile since you asked;; It’s been in my drafts forever and I haven’t ever been able to write the minor trio for this request, and i’m so sorry for that!!! I might make a separate post for them later? I hope you like this.. -Green


-you brought up one day that you weren’t going to be really available because you were going to babysit your brother for the day

-he didn’t know you had a brother!

-he asks if he can join you, and of course you say yes.

-you two drive to your parents house and Yoosung briefly talks to them before they leave, and you two are alone.

-then suddenly you shout from the TOP OF YOUR L U NGS,


-yoosung is.

-he doesn’t even know.

-but suddenly your little brother is dashing downstairs and you guys are wrestling so???

-what does he do help him

-once you guys had your little. reunion? ??? yoosung still doesn’t know what happened but is too afraid to ask

-you tell both him and your little brother what you have in store for today so you all don’t get bored. You’ve planned a movie, arcade, and fast food for the night and Yoosung thinks it’s great!

-but he can’t help but notice your brother hasn’t said a word to him?? and won’t even look at him??

-o h  g  o d

-then he sees overall that your brother. does NOT appreciate him here

-Movie: he tried to run ahead with you in the dark theater so Yoosung couldn’t find you and had to sit alone

-I mean, it didn’t work, but what the F U Ck,

-Arcade? Your brother will not let him play any games with you and constantly hogs your attention and literally tries to get you to ditch him and go back home

-you don’t even NOTIC E?


-kind of takes it personally and is super done with this fucker by the end of the night

-when you go and tuck him in bed Yoosung just can’t wait to go home and cuddle with you, get back all the attention he lost today

-but then you come down stairs and you bring him to your old room and he’s like. what.

-”oh, did I not mention? we’re staying for another two days.”


-”I’m sorry I forgot to tell you! You can head back home if you want?”


-he’s not about to LOSE so easily.

-talking about losing, he hasn’t played LOLOL all day….

-he feels bad about asking to play but you’re chill with it so. you know.

-he plays literally all night

-and into the morning

-suddenly your coming out of the room to make breakfast ?/

-he sees your brother come down and he’s about to shut down the game before your brother D A S H ES FOR HIM

-Yoosung is ready to scream .

-before your bro stops and starts babbling nonsense about LOLOL and how



-oh y e s.

-yoosung is literally praying the Gods above as he shows your brother all his cool stuff

-after that, breakfast is super nice and now your brother won’t stop talking to Yoosung

-he thinks it’s amazing and is so happy he got your brother to like him even if he really didn’t even try


-It’s at a family reunion you practically beg Saeyoung to go to that he meets your brother

-right away Saeyoung is like


-he knows.

-he k n o w s


-all night. literally all night he is trying to trick Saeyoung and play pranks

-and he happily indulges in all of them, KNOWING that yes, a bug is in his drink

-but does he care? NO


-he knows your brother hates him and Saeyoung finds it hilarious

-and then randomly your brother takes his hand and looks him right in the eye and is like

-”you better not hurt her all right? you’re pretty stupid, but you shouldn’t be stupid enough to hurt MC!!!”

-fucker doesn’t even acknowledge him

-instead he brings out a DS and is like

-”i bet I can beat your ass in super smash bros”


-he was about to start crying from stress you have no idea


-family is important!!!! that saying is literally EMBEDDED into your brain

-so better believe your ENTIRE family is invited to the wedding

-which includes your brother

-and you have never been so nervous in your entire life

-Jaehee notices it at the wedding and thinks your having cold feet but then you just take her hands

-”you don’t understand. my brother. will r u in the wedding. he’s a little BRAT??? Jaehee please god help me

-at first she’s confused because like MC what

-but when she looks outside and sees your brother practically boiling in his seat she understands

-so instead of Jumin’s father walking you down the isle you have Jaehee

-you discussed it with Jumin’s father but not with your husband so when he sees this he is HIGH KEY STRESSED

-W H A T

-how D A RE,, his FATHEr???

-he makes a mental note to scREECH later

-now is not the time, Jumin

-you’re shaking like a leaf and holding onto Jaehee for dear life

-you almost want to make her stay with you as you exchange vows

-you almost do, she has to rip you off of her arm

-Jumin now sees how worried you are and the whole time he’s whispering to you not to worry and how happy he’ll make you


-finally the rings come out and you’re more relaxed now because your brother hasn’t been a BITCH so far

-but then you see him start to stand

-before Jumin can put the ring on you your brother yells


-are you serious



-you’re literally groaning and throwing your head back in agony, about to fall to your knees as your brother makes his speech that you are completely sure he was thinking of all day

-you can see Zen nodding his head and silently agreeing with your brother and you’re going to have to talk to him later oh my GOD

-once your bro is done you’re so humiliated like. p l ea se just put the ring on me and go

-but surprisingly Jumin is totally calm

-and gives the snarkiest and best reply ever to your brother and now you’re blushing because aww babe

-your brother never said anything bad about your marriage after that

-little brat you love him tho


-this one is a little more ,, tame

-your parents were actually coming to see the coffee shop you had made with Jaehee, and happened to bring your brother along.

-he was pretty chill the entire time, but Jaehee noticed his little glares and snarky comments

-she didn’t really pay it any mind, because 12 year olds will be 12 year olds.

-but after awhile… it was really starting to get on her nerves how rude he was to her.

-she had asked you what your brother would like to eat or drink, and you gladly told her what his favorite snack and drink was

-it was so sweet of her to get something!!

-bitch u thought

-she did make the food, but didn’t offer it to him.

-she just sat it on the counter and waited for him to come to her.

-she had to wait practically an hour

-but eventually YES he did come up thank god

-”do you want a snack? your sister told me what you like.”

-she could see him trying to make a fuss. she could SEE it.. but he didn’t

-he tried to just grab it and leave

-nnooononono not in my house

-she literally grips his hand so tight that he lets out a little squeal

-”do you have a problem with me, little man?”

-he’s shaking his head so hard oh god please Jaehee don’t kill him

-she let’s him off with the food because Jaehee figures she’s scared him enough to leave her alone

-just kidding now he won’t leave her alone

-wants to know how she got so badass and cool

-she guesses… this is better than before

-not really the outcome she was looking for?? but okay??

-recommends her judo studio to him and the next time they come over to the shop he shows her his new moves

-now they’re judo buddies


-so you invite the family over for one of Zen’s performances! yaaayyy,,,


-your brother is just flat out complaining the whole time

-he reaaalllyyy does not want to see your boyfriend

-he also reaaaalllly does not want you to see your boyfriend

-you just grab his ear and tell him to shut up so he does

-you all go over to the performance and head backstage; you want to wish him luck!

-when Zen sees you all he politely introduces himself and gives your parents handshakes

-and when he sees your brother Zen kind of like… just knows

-silent agreement. All men are wolves. Instant respect

-which kind of throws your brother off with how cool Zen is him

-you all leave for your seats and your bro is still like. wut..,

-the play is amazing!! you weren’t expecting anything else!!

-you greet him after the show and he’s flooded with compliments from your parents which of course Zen totally gobbles up into his rat tail

-the more his ego grows the longer that fucking thing gets. 100% canon

-and then Zen straight up goes for a handshake with your brother with some kind of gay admiration in his eyes so your brother takes it feeling so conflicted because his performance was really great and he was actually pretty cute?

-oh god i think Zen made your brother gay

anonymous asked:

Wait, Touka is pregnant? And I thought TG couldn't possibly screw up anymore.

let me catch you up, my man. 

things tokyo ghoul has done

-dedicated an ENTIRE CHAPTER TO KANEKI AND TOUKA FUCKING. that is not a joke, if you wanna fap to something, it’s chapter 125 for those who want it. 

-Touka is pregnant, oh SHOCKER. who saw that coming, except ME AND EVERYONE WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU BAREBACK

-the only “trans” character actually isn’t trans, just a CRAZY WOMAN who’s yandere for a man, cuz you know, trans men don’t exist, they’re just WOMEN, and women are just, so weak to the opposite sex, they’re always bound to come back to them eventually.

-revealed that the person who hammered Suzuya’s testicles off is….a trans character too. a “man” pretending to be a woman.

-killed off Eto OFF screen and replaced her with a man who wants to rape a woman continuously. the fandom loves him. 

-made a guy homosexual and then had him strip naked and declare his irrelevant love for a subordinate

-killed off the other non gender conforming character who was presenting as male, possibly just as a disguise, but does it matter? ishida has made it clear that people who don’t conform to their proper gender don’t deserve to live

-did i mention the only “trans” character not only renounced their filthy gender confusion but also fucked a corpse because of “her” “womanish” weakness? ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha.

-in short? Kaneki’s still in the suitcase. Re never happened. 

anonymous asked:

A prince and his knight falling in love please!

1) The Prince had been trying to beat this particular knight in training for months on end - a prince should always be the best, an example to their people. This time, finally, he won. Panting with exertion, exhilaration, pinning the knight he had always so admired in place. The satisfaction was a heady thing.
Then he realized how close they’d got.
“You know, sire, if you stand gawping at an enemy in battle instead of finishing them, you’re going to get killed.”
“I’m not - I’m not gawping.”

2) It was difficult to truly feel anyone in armour, or even get close under the bulk of protection. And the knight all but lived in his armour.
“Let me,” came a voice.
The knight jerked to their feet at the sight of the prince, but his sire simply deftly began removing his gauntlets with warm brushes of touch. The knight’s heart raced. Was this appropriate?
“You know, sir knight. I don’t think I have ever seen you without all the gear. How long have we known each other?” He could hear the amusement in the prince’s voice, hear the smile even if he couldn’t see it. “Something to hide?”
“I assure you, sire. I’m merely a man.”
And yet, they felt rather exposed, like one might feel stripped naked instead of simply un-armoured. He swallowed as the feel of hands on skin grew more frequent. The prince’s intent and curious scrutiny didn’t help.

3) It had been the knight’s first battle that day. Drinks had been toasted, food devoured - he’d had little appetite. All he could think about was the man he’d killed. The first man he’d ever killed. The prince called out as they were all leaving, requesting he stay behind. He did so, puzzled.
“You have not eaten,” the prince spoke eventually. The firelight casting off his features only made him more handsome, and the young knight looked down. “Is my food not to your taste?”
The knight startled, head whipping up, only to find himself teased.
The prince leaned in. “Tell me what troubles you. You fought well today.”


Pairing:Sensitive?!Kai Parker x reader

A/N:HELLO HELLO.Hope y'all doing fine!Please send in some Kai requests,i wanna write more about him!Also,thumbs up to those who will understand that coca-cola reference!-M

Originally posted by christopherwooddaily

When Damon asked Y/N to keep an eye on Kai because him and Stefan had to leave for the day,he never really thought that she’d actually agree.Ever since he came back from hell,Y/N would always avoid Kai and when he was the subject of the conversation between her and the Salvatore brothers,she would leave the room or pretend that she had to call her sister.Neither Damon nor Stefan could tell exactly why she acted this way.They thought that she probably despised him and ,of course,they couldn’t blame her for it,the man was a psychotic murder.An evil, vampire witch.

But the truth is they were wrong and they were soon to know their friend’s real feelings towards Kai.

“So you’ll actually do it?“Damon had asked in disbelief later that evening.

Y/N nodded and smiled with confidence.Then,she turned her head to glance at the man sitting on the Salvatores’ living room couch.He looked back at her and with a huge grin on his face,he waved at her.Her smile immediately dropped.She was not ready to stay alone with him.Not at all…But not because she was scared of him.She was afraid that the walls she’d been trying to build all that time would eventually break.She didn’t want to admit she liked him.It would be so wrong…

“Yup!I mean,what can possibly happen?He’s humiliated me thousands of times in the past,he’s played mind games with me,he even threatened to kill me if i didn’t give him some of my magic.Everything is gonna be great,really…"She scoffed and shrugged her shoulders.Needless to say,she had forgiven him for everything he did to her.

“Well…” started Damon and gently patted her back,“…If you say so then i’ll get going!”

“DAMON PLEASE!“She almost shouted and grabbed his left arm tightly,not letting him leave.

”Y/N it’s only for an hour…If you need anything,just call me,okay?We’re gonna be late…"Damon insisted and opened the door.Before exiting the house he whispered in her ear “Don’t worry he likes you…”

And then he was gone.Y/N closed the door behind Damon and after taking a deep breath,she headed to the living room where the witch was sitting ,patiently waiting for her to join him on the couch.

Instead,Y/N grabbed a magazine from the table and sat,opposite of Kai,on a chair.

“Are you mad at me?“ He asked after a few minutes of complete silence.

Y/N turned page and continued reading,deciding not to answer.

“Don’t worry,he likes you…” This sentence was playing over and over in her head.Was Damon kidding?Or did Kai talk to him about her?

“Yup,you’re mad at me…"Kai’s loud realization broke her thoughts.She lightly shook her head but didn’t say anything…

“Y/N please talk to me…” He said calmly and put his hands on his knees.He wanted to know how she’s been.What she’s been doing all this time he was gone.Caring about someone was not a mutual feeling for Kai and that’s why it was difficult for him to get used to it.

“What do you want me to say?“She replied angrily,throwing the newspaper to the ground.

“I spent days crying because i thought you were dead and suddenly,here you are in front of me!What am i supposed to tell you?What am i supposed to do?” She shouted and stood up.She started pacing back and forth,anger and sadness consuming her.She’d fallen in love with the wrong person.

“I don’t know,say anything…” He mumbled and looked down.The more she raised her voice,the weaker he felt.Why she had such an effect on him,he couldn’t tell… “You treated me like i was a heartless machine and yet i mourned for you!I didn’t talk to Damon for months because of what he did to you!And the worst part is that you wouldn’t do the same for me!You wouldn’t give a damn even if i died at this fucking moment…” She completed her little speech and stopped moving.She put her hands on her face and turned her back so as Kai couldn’t see her crying softly… “Sweetheart listen to m-” He quickly stood up and tried to come closer to her but she chanted a few words that got him falling backwards,hitting the wall.

He groaned a few times before standing to his feet again.If he hadn’t merged with Luke,he’d do the same thing to her.But he was not the person he used to be.He was not a complete monster.He felt something strong towards Y/N and that was making him weak,not being able to use his powers on her.

“Please listen to what i have to say…"He tried once again.And it worked.

She turned around, removing her hands from her red eyes, coming to face him,her lips millimetres away from his.

“You drive me crazy…One moment i’m laughing my ass off,the other i cry like a baby…If it’s one of your evil spells,well,it’s working pretty well…” She almost whispered and leaned closer,their lips almost touching.

Kai felt like he was in hell again.His whole body was burning,waiting for that specific move to be made.

“It’s…It’s not a spell,i swear…”

“Good.” she said and smiled lightly.None of them could wait any longer.Y/N had missed his stupid face,his unfunny jokes,his cocky grins. Kai had missed fighting with her over useless things.He had missed staring into her beautiful eyes.

Their lips touched only for a few seconds because Y/N pulled away and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“You agree with everything i say and you didn’t-you haven’t absorbed my magic yet!What’s happened to you?”

Kai couldn’t help but smile at her words.He didn’t want to become a better person because it seemed nearly impossible. But he wanted to prove to Y/N that he was not as evil as she thought.

“During my long stay in hell,i had plenty of time to think of what i wanted to do as soon as i get back…”

“And what’s that?“She asked curiously.Oh she had no clue…

He took her hands in his and squeezed them gently.

“To find you and apologize for everything i’ve done to you in the past.And believe me, i never apologize…”

Y/N couldn’t believe her ears. This man standing in front of her was definitely not Malachai Parker…

“Should i feel special then?” She let out a laugh and tilted her head to the right

“Absolutely!“He replied and pulled her closer so that their foreheads were touching.

"I want to try this with you…I want you to help me understand all these new feelings i can’t control…”

“I don’t mind helping…"She said under her breath, her heartbeat raising second by second.

"Then how about we start now?"He gave her a cheeky grin and winked at her.

"Oh-okay…” Her cheeks were burning.Hell,he was hot.

“Great,because i really want to taste the feeling of your lips…"He said,before connecting their mouths.

"I think you owe me twenty bucks brother…"Damon said to Stefan who was looking as well through the kitchen window.

"Fine dammit…"He gritted his teeth as he put the money in his brother’s palm.

Creepypasta #1076: My Friend Is Sending Me These Weird Texts

Length: Medium

I threw a Halloween party last night, and lots of people came that weren’t, strictly speaking, invited. I wasn’t going to be a hard-ass about it, and there were enough of my friends that showed up that I was able to enlist them to help keep an eye on my place and make sure people didn’t wander places they weren’t welcome. 

Before long, everyone was mingling and having a good time. I saw my buddy Dave chatting up this really attractive girl that I didn’t know, and I remember thinking “good luck, she’s out of your league”, and I think she even asked him out to dinner, but then I promptly forgot about it since I was busy with hosting duties. The only reason I remember it now is because I got a series of increasingly odd texts from Dave after the party. Here’s how it started: 

12:15 am/ Dave: Dood, where am I?

12:16 am/ Me: Dunno. Home, maybe?

12:18 am/ Dave: No. I was at ur party. Now I’m somewhere else.

12:19 am/ Me: Yes, that happens when you leave a party.

12:20 am/ Dave: No, man. I didn’t leave ur party. I was there talking 2 this girl, now I’m here in this room.

12:20 am/ Me: What room?

12:23 am/ Dave: It’s got wood paneled walls, old looking green couch, a blue upholstered wing back chair, an ugly oil painting, some sort of metal disk on the floor, and an old wooden TV.

12:24 am/ Me: A wooden TV?

12:25 am/ Dave: U know- an old tube TV inside a wood cabinet- looks 60s-ish. WTF? Just turned it on. It’s black n white.

12:25 am/ Me: Ok.

12:26 am/ Dave: There’s no door. Or Windows. What is this place? Did you do this?

12:27 am/ Me: Do what? Roofie you and stick you in a room made of the 60s with no way out? No. No, I didn’t.

I’m cutting in here because we spent the next several texts going back and forth - him accusing me of drugging him because I wanted to meet this girl he had been talking to and me denying it; then him telling me what he could pick up on the TV. It sounded like some sort of closed circuit showing him other rooms similar to his, some with a person, and some empty; and finally him giving me a running commentary on his attempts to find a way out of the room. I was ready to tell him I had to go to bed when this happened:

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ravenclaw-of-cabinseven  asked:

I agree with Bunny. I've always been a fan of the idea of Bats finding out about Dan and being totally supportive about it. Writing prompt! The League just learned about Batman's contingency plans to stop them if they go rogue. While they through a hissy fit, Danny is the only one who understands and supports his decision which leads to a talk about Dan and gaining of respect all around.

“God damn it!” Green Lantern slammed his hands on the table. The Justice League was at a meeting and everyone found out that Batman knew their weaknesses and actually have plans on how to take them down.

Well, except Wonder Woman. She doesn’t have a weakness.

“Calm down,” Zatara rose a hand to silence Hal.

“Calm down? Calm down? How can I calm down when HE,” Hal jabbed his finger in Batman’s direction, “has legitimate plans to take us down!”

“I will admit, this is disturbing,” Aquaman spoke.

“This isn’t something that I would like to know,” Green Arrow shook his head.

“This is only a precaution,” Batman told the others, eyes narrowing.

“Well, I’m glad that Batman knows how to take me down if I ever go bad,” Captain Marvel admitted, wanting his input to put some insight on the situation.

“But what if HE goes bad?” Green Lantern countered. At this point mayhem went wild.

Shouts, insults, and even rude gestures were catapulted to others. Most of it, however, was aimed at the Dark Knight.

“Enough!” A young voice rung throughout the room. Immediately all quieted. They all felt the air grow colder by a few degrees.

All eyes landed the acid green eyes of one ghost teen. Despite Phantom’s appearance and usually laid back personality, his presence demanded attention.

And attention he was given.

“I think Batman is in the right,” he said.

Outrage was their response.

“Shut it!” Phantom’s eyes glowed brighter, deadlier.


“Let me tell you a story,” he started, “and no interrupting.” He gave Plastic Man a glare, knowing that the man was planning to interrupt in some way, shape, or form.

Everyone nodded.

Phantom took a breath.

“Some time ago something happened to me. Something… unpleasant to say the least. I met with the ghost of time, Clockwork, who watches over the timelines. And in one of the timelines a villain so powerful rose that not even the Justice League could stop him.”

The teen paused, watching as all who attended (except Batman) stiffened at his words.

“I was taken to the future with my two friends and saw that that timeline became my future if something didn’t happen. The only peaceful place left was Amity Park, but the reason for its ten years of peace fell and I met with the ultimate enemy.”

“… who was it?” Plastic Man asked in a audible whisper. Which caused Phantom to glare at him because of the interruption.

The man made of plastic held up his hands and gave an uneasy grin.

Phantom sighed.

“It was me.”

Everyone gasped.

“Well, technically it was me that somehow merged with Plasmius, but that’s not the point. Point was my future self was evil and was destroying everything.” Phantom lowered his eyes.

“Eventually we all went back to the past, and he, Dan,” the name spoke with venom and absolute loathing, “wanted to make sure he would exist. So he planned to have my family and friends killed with a teacher from the local high school.”

At this point the teen’s eyes were shut, hands clenched and trembling with anger and perhaps fear.

“I did something surprising. I gained a power that took him ten years to learn. I beat him,” he chuckled a little at this, “and you know what happened next?”

Many were afraid to answer.

“I failed them! They died in that explosion and I couldn’t save them!” Pure anguish was heard from the ghost teen. Tears leaked out from his eyes that were screwed shut. Slowly, the tension slipped away from his form.

“Thankfully Clockwork decided to be good to me. He set back time and brought them back,” Phantom looked back up at the Justice League, “and I count my blessings every day.”

The heroes relaxed at that.

“However I’m still not in the clear.”

They all tense back up at that confession.

“He still has a chance of existence until those ten years are up. So because of this I agree with Batman.”

No one said a word as Phantom left the meeting.


Michael x reader

Request: “Hey, me again asking 4 something, could u please write something where the reader is with the blinders(kills 4 them)she and Michael are an item, she sees him fuck Charlotte at the wedding and kill someone idk helping Arthur or gets involved in the fire”

Authors note: Changed it up a tiny bit hope it’s OK

Warning: Swearing, fluff, violence

You were pottering about the betting shop waiting for a family meeting the first time you met Michael. You were at the family meeting because Tommy is technically your legal guardian for another year before you turned 18. Thomas and your brother, Matt, had grown up together and when our parents died Matt was your only living family left. When the boys went off to war Polly looked after you, as you were only a year older than Finn you all became very close. Matt didn’t make it back from the war and Tommy refused to ship you off to a family you didn’t know so at the age of twelve Tommy took you into his family and signed himself up to be your legal guardian.

Polly walked in proudly showing off her son. You were polite and happy for Polly but you don’t know what it was about Michael that you didn’t like you just really didn’t like him. About a week later he was standing munching on a tomato and reading some papers whilst standing in your way.

“Move.” He looked at you in shock. This was pretty much the first time you had spoken to him and he pinned you for the shy type.

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I just had to submit Arthur Phillip, (11 October 1738 – 31 August 1814) the first Governor of New South Wales. He founded the British penal colony that would eventually become the city of Sydney. If like me you watched the miniseries “Banished” you’ll know Phillip was portrayed most superbly by gorgeous David Wenham. The real Phillip was even more awesome. The colonialism of Australia by the west and its impact on native cultures isn’t viewed favourably today. Because of this it’s easy to forget that Phillip formed a remarkable friendship with an Eora man called Bennelong, and took him to visit England. Phillip ordered that the Eora people must be well-treated, and that anyone killing Aboriginals would be hanged. He also resolved to try to reform as well as to discipline the convicts transported from Britain. He pardoned several of them for good conduct. Despite being in charge of a penal colony, Phillip hated slavery.

He famously wrote, when preparing for the expedition of the First Fleet, that ‘there shall be no slavery in a free land’.

Phillip was given the name Wolawaree by the Eora. He built a hut for Bennelong on the site where the Sydney Opera House currently stands. His first wife Margaret was 17 years his senior, but his second wife Isabella was over 10 years his junior.

Here in England an annual service of remembrance is held on Phillip’s birthdate by the Britain–Australia Society to commemorate his life.

A worthy history crush in my opinion!

Twitter - @RumRations

PCT Day 145: Walking Home

This is my last night on trail. This is my last night on trail. This is my last night on trail. At last, and too soon. 

The single thought that tomorrow will bring me to Canada and the end of my journey got me through some tough hiking today. I was cold, tired, weary–the miles rolled by so slowly, and so many of them were uphill. 

It began to rain, because why would the weather bother changing now? I was now wet on top of those other adjectives, and my hand was still giving me trouble. Not my favorite morning on trail so far, but like all mornings it passed by eventually. (Among the things slowing me down: trying to filter water from a thin barely-there trickle of stream that took 10 minutes of off-trail tramping to find. Water, water, everywhere, etc.)

When I got to Hart’s Pass, I encountered what will almost certainly be my final trail magic. A man named Walking Home was set up there with fruit, jam, soda, and (as I walked up) hot buttered rum. I killed an hour there talking to him, along with Salty (the only other Syracusan I’ve met on trail) and Dairy Queen, who I met all those miles ago back at the trail magic cabin in southern Oregon. Walking Home made coffee for us after the hot buttered rums, and for those few minutes I got a glimpse of what wonders my life will hold when I return to Seattle. 

My brain yo-yoing from the alcohol and caffeine, I set out again, the sun finally beginning to make an effort against the gray, almost solid-looking layer of fog hanging over everything. To the west I could see blue peaks disappearing into the mass of cloud; the lighting this produced on the yellow brush surrounding the ridge trail was strange and beautiful. 

Still, I was just so tired. My thinking was that it was worth doing one last really hard day in order to make tomorrow easier, so I kept pushing, one heavy step after another. Around 6 pm I finally made it to camp at a spring. Eventually, I always get there–it’s pretty amazing and ridiculous that I still stress about that this close to end of the journey. You’d think I’d’ve figured it out by now. 

Across the way from me were three Canadians, down from Vancouver to camp here for a few days. They’d come to this place last year around this time and had seen such beauty that they decided to come back. Too bad, really–around here you can’t see much of anything thanks to the aforementioned fog. They didn’t seem too disappointed, though. They invited me to come join them by their fire, and we talked hiking and life and politics as we all ate. The three–John, Norman, and Margaret–were all so welcoming and kind. This made it even easier to answer, when they asked what the best part of the experience had been, to say “people” without hesitation. 

Eventually I retreated back to my tent, and made hot chocolate with whiskey, courtesy of my old hiking buddy SoHard, who did a rebellious thing and mailed me booze to Stehekin. Delicious. This is my last night on trail. I hardly believe it.

send me a ship and i’ll tell you…

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: Sophie is DEFINITELY the hunter because Howl is named howl and i would very much like to see Cliche and Typical Werewolf Named Howl who literally nobody thinks is the werewolf bc it’s just. too obvious.

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: After being cursed to have a tail instead of legs (it was just typical, she thought), Sophie decided to leave her tiny little seaside town behind her and explore the ocean she’d always been too afraid to sail. Well. That’s what she told herself, at least. But after getting injured in a storm, Sophie washes up on an unfamiliar beach, where she wakes up and finds a disgustingly beautiful man, a sweet little boy, and a cranky lantern that seems to have some sort of sentient THING inside it. (Who am I to judge, thought sophie; I am a FISH.) Sophie is trapped in the lagoon until her tail is healed enough to brave open ocean again. Which wouldn’t be so bad if the horrifically pretty fisherman wasn’t so much of an idiot, and if he wasn’t the ex-boyfriend of the woman who had cursed her in the first place, and if he would just BREAK THE SPELL HOWL I KNOW YOU HAVE MAGIC STOP TRYING TO SLITHER OUT OF THIS.

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: Witch Sophie and her idiot cat who she KNOWS can understand her and YES she’s trying to break the spell you IDIOT but these things take TIME and–don’t pet him he’s spoiled enough as it is–stop sitting on my book, Howl, I’m trying to read.
He just wants attention.

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: Sophie has been trying to supplement her scholarship at school by working at a coffee shop part time. It’s a nice job, and she’s trying not to complain–her sister is working at the bakery down the street, and there’s an ever-present perfume of flowers in the air from the flowershop directly opposite. (Oh, the flower shop, she thinks sourly as the door opens and the little bell on the handle jingles. A year and a half, she tells herself as the infuriatingly tall blond leans over the counter and smiles at her. And then I can graduate.)
Honestly, with all the coffee he drinks, she wonders if he even needs to blink.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA: Okay so she KNOWS he’s smart. Like. She gets it. She really does. But you can’t run a classroom like that i’m sorry Mr. Jenkins but you can’t there is a right way to teach magic and there is a wrong way and you sir are so COMPLETELY off the book–

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): I was going to say Howl as the prince but how about Princess Sophie, who runs away from home (her sisters are better at the whole princess thing anyway; she’s never been anything but disappointing, she rationalizes). The queen orders a VERY RELUCTANT Howl to find her daughter, because that girl is going to be queen someday; I don’t CARE if she doesn’t think she looks like a princess, and good heavens this is ridiculous, Sophie. The whole AU is just Howl chasing Sophie around the known world, and Howl getting increasingly exasperated. He catches up to her in a tavern, but she’s spent the entire night washing dishes and befriending the innkeeper’s wife, and one nervous glance at the blond man in the doorway was all it took for him to get kicked out. They share an incredibly frustrating boat ride together crossing a channel. He knows she’s going to ditch him as soon as they touch soil. He was right.
She realizes eventually that she’s taking the coward’s way out, and this vain and annoyed man that has been tailing her is actually just trying to remind her that her parents care about her and that her country needs her. (This ends with her smirking and saying that she’ll come home, but only if he marries her. “GOD, NO,” he shrieks. “THE RESPONSIBILITY WOULD KILL ME.”)
But he marries her anyway. He would.

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: “Let me see… You’re Michael’s father, aren’t you? …Aren’t you a little… blonde… to be a parent?”

who’s the writer and who’s the editor: Sophie is the writer and she writes beautifully. Words bend to her will. If only her editor would. You know. Actually return her calls. That would be great.

“Make-A-Wish. Can I help you?”

I want to thank all the wonderful Tumblr-folk I tagged in this for contributing to one of the best reads I’ve had in a while. I would also like to apologize to those whose contributions I might have missed.


I wonder if, in superhero universes, the villains ever get contacted by those “Make a Wish Foundation” and similar people.

I mean, the heroes do. Of course they do. Kids who want to meet Spiderman or Superman or get to be carried by the Flash as he runs through Central City for just thirty seconds.

But surely there are also the kids, who - because they are kids and sometimes kids are just weird - decide that what they really, really want is to meet a supervillain. Because he’s scary or she’s awesome or that freeze ray is just really, really cool, you know?

The heroes would be so weirded out by it. The villains with codes of ethics would totally band together to force the villains without one (should they be the one requested) to do their part for the cause.

But imagine the person who has to track down the villains and organize everything?

Like, the first time it happens, no one actually thinks it’s possible, but one of the newbies volunteers to at least try. They get lucky, the kid wants to meet one of the villains who is well known to have a personal code of ethics (eg one of the rogues), and it takes them weeks to track the villain down to this one bar they’ve been seen at a few times, plus a week of staking out said bar, but they finally find them.

So they approach the villain, very politely introduce themselves and explain the situation, finishing with an assurance that, should the villain agree, no law enforcement or heroes will be informed of the meeting.

The villain, assuming it’s a joke, laughs in their face.

At this point, the poor volunteer, who has giving up weeks of their time and no small amount of effort to track down this villain, all so a sweet little girl can meet the person who somehow inspired them, well, at this point the employee sees red.

They explode, yelling at this villain about the little girl who, for some unknown reason, absolutely loved them, had a hand-made stuffed toy of them and was inspired by their struggle to keeping fighting her own and wasn’t the villain supposed to have ethics? The entire bar is witness to this big bad villain getting scolded by some bookish nobody a foot shorter than them.

When the volunteer is done, the villain calmly knocks back their drink, grips the volunteers shoulder and drags them outside. The bar’s patrons assume that person will never be seen again, the volunteer included. But once they’re outside, the villain apologizes for their assumption, asks for the kid’s details so they can drop by in the near future, not saying when for obvious reasons. They also give the very relieved volunteer a phone number to call if someone asks for them again.

A week later, the little girl’s room is covered in villain merchandise, several expensive and clearly stolen gifts and she is happily clutching a stack of signed Polaroids of her and the villain.

The next time a kid asks to meet a villain, guess who gets that assignment?

Turns out, the first villain was quite touched by the experience of meeting their little fan, and word has gotten around. The second villain happily agrees when they realize it’s the same volunteer who asked the other guy. Unfortunately, one of the heroes sees the villain entering the kid’s hospital and obviously assumes the worst. They rush in, ready to drag the villain out, but the volunteer stands in their way. The hero spends five minutes getting scolded for trying to stop the villain from actually doing a good thing and almost ruining the kid’s wish. The volunteer gets a reputation among villains as someone who can not only be trusted with personal contact numbers but who will do everything they can to keep law enforcement away during their visits.

The volunteer has a phonebook written in cypher of all the villain’s phone numbers, with asterixes next to the ones to call if any other villains give them trouble.

Around the office, they gain the unofficial job title of The Villain Wrangler.

The heroes are genuinely flabbergasted by The Villain Wrangler. At first, some of the heroes try to reason with them.

Heroes: “Can’t you, just, give us their contact details? They’ll never even have to know it was you.”

The Villain Wrangler: “Yeah sure, <rollseyes> because all these evil geniuses could never possibly figure out that it’s me who happens to be the common thread in the sudden mass arrests. Look man, even if it wouldn’t get me killed, it would disappoint the kids. You wouldn’t want to disappoint the kids would you?”

Heroes: “… no~ but…”

The Villain Wrangler: “Exactly.”

Eventually, one of the anti-hero types gets frustrated, and decides to take a stand. They kidnap the Villain Wrangler and demand that they give up the contents of the little black book of Villains, or suffer the consequences. It’s For the Greater Good, the anti-hero insists as they tie the Villain Wrangler to a pillar.

The Villain Wrangler: “You complete idiot, put me back before someone figures out that I’m missing.”

Anti-hero: “…excuse me?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Ugh, do I have to spell this out for you? Do you actually want your secret base to be wiped off the map? With us in it? Sugarsticks, how long has it been? If they get suspicious, they check in, and then if I miss a check-in, they tend to come barging into wherever I am just to prove that they can, even if they figure out that they’re not being threatened by proxy. Suffice to say, Auntie Muriel really regretted throwing my phone into the pool when she strenuously objected to me answering it during family time. If they think for even one moment that I’ve given them up, they won’t hesitate to obliterate both of us from their potential misery. You do know some of the people in my book have like missiles and djinni and elemental forces at their disposal, right?”

Anti-hero: “Wait, what? I thought they trusted you?!”

The Villain Wrangler: “Trust is such a strong word!”

Villain: “Indeed.”

Anti-hero: “Wait, wha-” <slumps over, dart sticking out of neck>

The Villain Wrangler: “Thanks. I thought they were going to hurt me.”

Villain: “You did well. You kept them distracted, and gave us time to follow your signal.” <cuts Villain Wrangler free>

The Villain Wrangler: <rubbing circulation back into limbs> “Yeah well, you know me; I do whatever I have to. So I’ll see you Wednesday at four at St Martha’s? I’ve got an 8yo burns unit patient recovering from her latest batch of skin grafts who could really use a pep talk.”

Villain: “… of course. Yes… I… yes.”

The Villain Wrangler: “I just think you could really reach her, you know?”

Villain: <unconsciously runs fingers over mask> “I… yes, but, what should I say?”

The Villain Wrangler: “Whatever advice you think you could have used the most just after.”

Villain: <hoists Anti-hero over shoulder almost absently> “….yes.”

The Villain Wrangler wasn’t lying to the Anti-hero. They know that the more ruthless villains would not hesitate if they thought for one second that the Anti-hero would betray them.

But this is not the first time the Villain Wrangler has gone to extreme lengths to protect their identities.

Trust is a strong word. The Villain Wrangler earned it, and is terrified by what it could mean.

My first official Deadpool headcanon is this. This this this.

Okay but this whole concept actually makes a lot of sense, because villains are a lot more likely to be disfigured/disabled/use adaptive devices (bc ableist tropes), so of course, say, a child amputee is going to be more interested in the villain with a robot arm who almost destroyed New York than the heroes that took him down.

Also, imagine one of the kids gets better, and a few years down the line becomes a villain themselves, except their crimes are things like smuggling chemo drugs across the border for families that can’t afford treatment, or stealing from corrupt businessmen to make donations to underfunded hospitals (idk this turned into a Leverage AU or something) and every time the heroes encounter her, they’re like “oh no. she’s getting away. Curses. Welp, nothing we can do.” Though it isn’t that she can’t take them on; bc of course once the villain from way back when found out what she was up to, he started helping/training her.

“I thought they just hired someone to dress up and pretend to be you,” she says, amazed, when he reveals himself. “I didn’t think they actually got the real you!”

Every year the Villain Wrangler gets a very expensive gift basket from the pair.

And for the kids who don’t get better the villains are there too, they show up to every funeral, they bear too small coffins on their shoulders and the heroes stand aside

They are fierce with grieving families assuring them that their child will not be forgotten, and they don’t balk at negative emotions, they don’t tell people to be strong or “celebrate their child’s life,” because these parents have every right to their grief and anger

And the lost children are never forgotten. Flowers appear on graves during birthdays and anniversaries, heroes find pictures of those kids and they carefully take them down and ensure they’re delivered to the villain’s cell, and a few villains can be seen with friendship bracelets wrapped around their wrists the cops have learned not to try and take them off

They are fierce with grieving families assuring them that their child will not be forgotten, and they don’t balk at negative emotions, they don’t tell people to be strong or “celebrate their child’s life,” because these parents have every right to their grief and anger

And then one day, one of the evil geniuses who happens to specialize in inducing bizarre genetic mutations meets a young fan who was born with a rare genetic disorder that is slowly killing them, and realizes that they can help.

Another, who created their own exosuit, talks to a young fan and suddenly understands how much the technology that they have built for themselves could revolutionize quality of life for people with muscular dystrophy, or paraplegia, or other disorders that confine people to wheelchairs with little mobility.

A third thinks of a way that their nanobots could be used to detect and remove cancer cells when their fan, who had been in remission, writes to say that the doctors have found a new metastasizing tumour.

Then shortly after, an evil genius specializing in cloning is contacted by an old colleague asking if a suitable heart couldn’t be grown for their young fan with a congenital heart condition who needs a donor.

Suddenly, a pattern of villains offering (and marketing) their insights and resources to improve medical science starts to arise. Many who had previously been operating on society’s fringes are shocked to receive public accolades, research grants and job offers from major companies because of their work.

A grassroots movement arises advocating for imprisoned villains with appropriate qualifications and/or experience to have access to resources to conduct research for the public good. The Second Chance Rehabilitation Project launches.

(It is an open secret that only people who have been vetted by the Villain Wrangler are allowed to join, because the Villain Wrangler has by now a meticulously set up method and intelligence network to run background checks and character references through ensure that none of the children wishing to meet their role models get hurt.)

This is all soooo good, but I wonder what effect this has on the villains. Like, can they really wreak indiscriminate havoc when they know the kids that worship them might be in the area? Like, what if they attack a shopping mall and it just so happens that Annie’s mom ran in for a pair of shoes or something? What then?

So what you’re saying is that there is now an organization of henchmen who do round the clock, exhaustive research in order to make sure the villain’s plan isn’t going to ruin the life of some kid. Just imagine some aunt getting a call from an unlisted number.

“I swear I am not a bill collector ma’am. It’s just. Well. Ok and I swear I am not a stalker even if this is actually going to be a very creepy phone call, but you said you were going to the mall at four? Is it possible you could reschedule or postpone that trip for about an hour? That mall is way too close to…well. It just wouldn’t be safe. I could wire you some money, and you could go to the much nicer mall one town over? Would that work for you? No? You are calling the police? Yes. Yes that is the sensible thing to do. Definitely do that. You have a nice day, ma’am. Tell Marcus Doctor Evil says hello and to have a nice day.”

And then the poor minion has to call the villain and explain why robbing X bank isn’t a good idea that day.

“Yes. Hello. Sir? Oh good I caught you before you left the base. Look, Marcus Smithson’s aunt is going to be near the blast radius for that job you have scheduled so-yes. Yes I am aware that rescheduling is going to be a lot of work since most everything is already set up, but….but, sir think about poor Marcus! She’s his favorite aunt, and the woman refused to ‘reorder her life around some crazy mastermind’. ……no…, please do not kidnap the aunt, sir. It’s terribly rude. Yes I realize you weren’t going to keep her or doing anything other than drop her off at an alternative location, but, well, citizens frown upon that sort of thing and….yes….Yes, of course. You have a good day, too, sir.”

And they turn to their coworker and are just like “So if I don’t come in to work tomorrow it’s because Doctor Evil threw me in his dungeon and/or sent his hellhounds to maul me. Please remember to send help.

But but but… what happens when one falls through the cracks? When Lord Dominion or whatever does a typical baddie thing but then Penny’s new best friend gets caught up in the damage and Lord D didn’t even KNOW Penny had a new bestie so how was he to know? But now the kid is devastated and it’s all his fault? I mean, how does that even shake out?

Penny SWEARS REVENGE! Lord D is distraught but also somewhat proud. He sends Penny a very sincere apology and also a bunch of tips on how to execute a proper vengeance plot, in case she decides not to accept the apology. He sends henchmen to spy on her, and he keeps the surveillance photos of her sitting in her room, plans and schematics strewn all over her desk. He puts them in his wallet and brags to all his villain friends that one of his kids is taking up scheming, look at her go, she’s already started on pattern analysis of his latest heists. He’s so proud. Later this month he’ll show up on her way home from school so she can have her first Confrontation.

There will inevitably be mistakes and tragedies.

Penny is an intelligent kid. She catches on to the spying henchmen pretty quick and bribes some of them to her side with snacks. That first confrontation does not go like Lord Dominion expected because Penny has minions (minions that are using his OWN WEAPONS against him, even)

Lord Dominion is the proudest villain ever, even if he did almost lose an ear thanks to the impeccable aim of a nine year old with a grudge. He does let the laser blast graze him just so he can have a scar to show people because that girl is a villain after his own heart.

He doesn’t want to ask his villain rivals to help her out because that would imply he doesn’t think she’s capable of eventually growing strong enough to kick his ass. Turns out Penny already thought of that and has mailed letters asking for advice to Lady Sinister, Lord Dominion’s long time, mostly friendly rival. (She mailed a letter to Lord D’s arch nemesis, but man. Heroes are always trying to make you do The Right Thing. Penny doesn’t have time for the high road. Plus, the low road has lasers.)

Lady Sinister thinks Penny is the best thing ever and while she has mostly stopped kicking Lord D’s ass, she still breaks into his hideout to sit in his favorite chair with a glass of wine and brags about her new favorite up and coming villainess. (She doesn’t warn Lord D about the attack rabbits she agreed to train for Penny as a favor, and for obvious reasons, she is going to be a bystander at the next confrontation, filming everything on her phone to post the dark web so all their villain friends can see this)Being able to say that one is involved with the Project begins to look really good in parole hearings. The Villains involved perform their own quality checks on one another, because if one of their kids got hurt, then all of their kids could potentially lose out, and the ones that are serious about the Project are not having that. (Also, the ability to collaborate with other geniuses is the most interesting thing to happen to most of them since losing to various heroes, and most consider the intellectual stimulation to be worth putting up with the ridiculous egos and inevitable personality clashes that arise.)

Reformed Villains come out of the woodwork to advocate about better mental healthcare, and support systems. Savvy universities and private labs quietly take their advice, setting up better mental health supports and laboratory safety standards to prevent the Brain Drain caused by losing their less stable scientists to the Costumes.

The Villain Wrangler watches all of this develop with a smile.

Their plan succeeded beyond their wildest dreams.

I’m so down for these posts that assume the best of people instead of the worst

Okay, this part caught my attention: “…the Villain Wrangler has by now a meticulously set up method and intelligence network…to ensure that none of the children…gets hurt.” Which led me to the heartbreaking realization that one DID. Get hurt, that is, by the villain they idolized.

And all I can think is that the Villain Wrangler didn’t call in the heroes. They didn’t call in another heart-of-gold villain. No. The VW rolled up their sleeves and went after this person themselves. This project is their baby, after all. If they get the accolades for the successes, they must also shoulder the burden of the failures.

The VW hunts down the villain that crossed the line. Their punishment is swift and horrifying; no hero would have the stomach to mete out justice in such a way, and no villain would have the desire to get quite that much blood on their own hands.

There’s. So. Much. Blood.

The Villain Wrangler never forgets. They increase security, increase the hours and background checks, they increase the graveside visits to the child they failed.

Just the one. But one is one too many.

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