this man ruins lives

let's talk beautiful lyrics by yoongi

“amidst double standards and opposition everywhere I crushed the limits within myself” (we are bulletproof pt. 2)

“my hobby is proving you wrong” (we on)

“if i ruled the world why would i dream small, of gambling and investing in stocks? i would still be making music with my bangtan fam” (if i ruled the world)

“same day, same moon” (tomorrow)

“the studio is my playground, and the pen and paper are my partners” (triptych)

“a sweet wind named you is blowing in my heart” (miss right)

“others are running forward, yet why am i still here?” (intro: hyyh)

“take a breath, or breathe a dream” (intro: hyyh)

“this moment will never come again, it will never find me again, so i ask myself am i happy? yes, the answer is already there, i am happy.” (intro: hyyh)

“before the day of my birth inside of my mother’s womb, i counted the days till my first move. the cost of the move was a machine on her heart and a scar.” (move….. /fuh my heart)

“on the stage i desired so much, when i sing and dance, i feel that i am yet alive. i can withstand a long commute and the aching of my body because my people are watching me. i endure the exhaustion because the cheers come rolling in.” (born singer)

“i don’t give a shit, i don’t give a fuck” (intro: nvm)

“i have become the pride of my family, and have even succeeded to an extent.” (intro: nvm)

“though i taste failure and disappointment and bow my head, we’re still young and immature don’t even sweat it” (intro: nvm)

“if you can’t go back, run forward…
if you feel you’ll crash, accelerate all the more” (intro: nvm)

“you’re a butterfly effect, shining in pitch darkness. with your light touches i forget reality altogether” (butterfly)

“the words so carelessly thrown at me: even my loneliness looks like pretend to you.” (whalien 52)

“have i engraved my existence into you like rain? or have i come and gone like short showers?” (rain)

“the saying must be true that love blooms like cherry blossoms and then burns to ashes” (let me know)

“hip hop found me like a young child finds his mother” (hip hop lover)

“everyone asks me, what is hip hop, and i say proudly that it is my everything. as a result i have buried my entire existence under music. if loving this culture is a sin i’ll die a hundred times
over.” (hip hop lover)

“dream. hope. forward. forward” (epilogue: young forever)

Not fake news. Just the facts.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN AMERICAN


Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too.


He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry. In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.


Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.


Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union.


If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.


It’s noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.


Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans. The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.


Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.


Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.”

Unpopular Opinion **ACOWAR SPOILERS**

I actually really like the idea of Az and Elain together. I mean I think they would be HELLA CUTE. 

I mean think about those two characters, and their personalities, idk it just sounds nice to me??? Like lurking Az, and sweet smol Elain???? I dig it. 

I’m genuinely upset about straight people ruining queer Babadook. A month or two ago I saw the movie for the first time and I was super excited??? To see my Gay Icon??? But of course, straight people can’t exist without trying to capitalize on gay people’s fun, huh.

I don’t want stereotypes, I want the Babadook to go home to his boyfriend (the Bye Bye Man) after he ruins some people’s lives.

Helpless (Reprise)

[Burr:]
How does a bastard, orphan, immigrant,
Would-be man of honor,
Ruin four lives to keep a legacy in its collar?
He lies about the story
So that he can die in glory
He paints himself as innocent
‘Cuz if people knew the truth,
How would his grievance seem legitimate?
Alexander left out details,
He basically impaled
Maria’s legacy in the chest,
When he thought it imperative
To blot out her narrative
But this isn’t my story to tell
You should hear it from the woman that went through hell

[All women except Maria:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
I was crying, I was shaking
I was weak and close to breaking,

[Maria and women:]
I was helpless

[Maria:]
I was dying inside while you wined and dined,
I was trying not to cry ‘cuz of the hell that I was going through
I can’t depend on you
‘Cuz my situation’s helpless

[Women::]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
And I stand here defenseless
You left me with him

[All women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
And you knew I was

[Women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
Yet somehow I’m selfish
For wanting to get away
Susan would be safe,
I’ll change her last name
she won’t have to face all this hate
I won’t let her be helpless

[Women:]
Helpless…

[Maria:]
For her, I’d suffer for the rest of my life
I’d suffer through this to make sure she’s happy to be alive
So I’ll always be


[Maria and Women:]
Helpless

[Maria:]
Am I doomed to an untold story?
Will they think I’m the villain in our history?
Or will fate be kind,
Will someone realize
That Alexander pushed the truth aside?

[Company except Maria:]
When you’re living on your knees you rise up

[Maria:]
Am I helpless?

[Company:]
Rise up

[Maria:]
Or can I rise above my situation?
Can I rise to the occasion,
Forget about the hate I’m facing,
The sky’s the limit,
Why should I care about his false declarations?
I don’t have to be

[Company:]
Helpless

[Maria:]
I broke my chains and took flight from hell
I don’t need anyone to tell my story,
‘Cuz unlike Alexander dying in glory
Is not my priority
Call me slut, call me whore,
But remember that I

[Company:]
Rise up
Rise up

[Maria:]
I rise like the dust
If my legacy is metal,
Then most would let it rust
I rise like air
So let them stare because

[Maria and Company:]
I rise

[Maria:]
From my pain
I am the storm, I am the rain
I’ve almost lost it all
So I’ll take what I have and keep it close
The ghosts of my past can’t get me
I’m standing up
I’m letting go
I won’t suffer in silence anymore
I don’t belong to anyone
I’m no one’s whore
I won’t be helpless

[Company:]
So I will rise

[Maria:]
Rise

[Maria:]
So Alexander,
You can write these lies

[Maria and Company:]
But still, like air, I’ll rise
Alexander

[Company:]
I will rise

[Maria:] [Eliza (to Alexander):]
I’m erasing myself from this narrative. (I’m erasing myself from the narrative)
My apologies Eliza (Let future historians wonder) 
I helped break your heart. (How Eliza reacted)

[Maria and Eliza (to Alexander):]
You think you’re so smart,


[Maria and Eliza:]
I hope that you burn
I hope the tide turns against you
I hope you realize it too late
You’ve changed the world, Alexander,
But there’s a million things I haven’t done,
But just you wait, just you wait
The world has no right to my heart
The world has no place in our beds
They don’t get to know what I said

[Maria:] [Eliza:]
I’m burning the memories. (I’m burning the letters)
That would have condemned you (That might have redeemed you)

[Maria and Eliza:]
You forfeit all rights to my heart

[All Men:]                      [All Women:]
I hope that you burn (There’s a million things I haven’t done)

[Full Company:]
Just you wait

(Well, that’s my song, I hope you like it!)

having to read a post with my own two eyes where an anon asks “is madd legit” made me lose 40 years on my life

i’m still not over how so many people against the cult end are effectively complaining that the visual novel went the route of… a visual novel. like almost ALL visual novels hide a twist-filled true end which ties together all the routes and characters? it’s a visual novel staple? sure ddadds went a dark route but… it’s honestly its prerogative and duty to give us a Cool Twist? 

and why celebrate representation and progress if we’re not allowed our own cool lovecraftian/dark twists? we still have 7 super great queer characters. and religious families hiding dark secrets is something of a horror staple? it’s a shame they didn’t choose to subvert it but it’s not that surprising they went there?

i don’t know fam, i just don’t know

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!” None of us want to think that we are wretched. When we compare ourselves with others we think we are somewhat better or okay, we don’t realise how wretched and pitiful we are. When Isaiah saw the LORD Almighty in all His glory, he said, “Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I live among a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.” When he saw the holiness of God, he recognised his own sinfulness. We can never go to God in this sinful state. Today, we have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who died for us. He will save us by His grace and make us righteous, all we have to do is place our faith and trust in Him. Would you ask Him to be your Saviour and Lord?

anonymous asked:

One of the things that's really been weighing on me with trump removing all these protections, is that not only is it going to ruin so many people's lives, but also that there is no immediate solution. It takes no effort from him to get rid of DACA, but if someone wants to reestablish it in the future it will take a lot of work. Idk if that makes any sense I'm just really having a hard time grasping how easily that man can ruin lives right now.

The other man ~ Part two

Originally posted by tabi87

Originally posted by laurenjaneyoutube

Originally posted by selva3bd

A/N ~ Sorry but I live to ruin your lives, so happy reading.

Pairing ~ Kwon Jiyong x Reader x Choi Seung hyun

Rated ~ Smut/Angst/Infidelity/Love triangle

Series Masterlist


You woke up the next day and headed straight for the shower, your dreams were haunted by the act of infidelity you had taken part in the day before, in the same house that your boyfriend was in. You stood there as you let the water douse your body, hoping it would absolve you of your sins, but your mind had other ideas. The memories of how close you both were as you released your built up tensions of one another had you throbbing. As if on it’s own your hand snaked down your abdomen to your core, your fingers rubbed at your already swollen clit. You let out a small moan as you closed your eyes, letting in the memories of Jiyong looking at you with lust ridden eyes as your breaths intertwined. You had to place your hand on the shower wall to brace yourself, your head had began to spin from how worked up you had gotten at the mere thought of him. You scratched at the tiled wall as your muscles tensed and your breaths became inconsistent, you were so close. Jiyongs face as he came flashed before your eyes and sent you over the edge, your hips snapped erratically as you came, you tried to hold in your moans but they forced their way out between your breaths. Small high pitched moans bounced from the walls in time with your hips, heat flushed over your body as you felt ashamed of what you just did. Here you were touching yourself while you thought about a man other then your boyfriend.


You cleaned yourself up and finished your shower, you were over ridden with guilt as you dried yourself off and got dressed, quickly heading out the door as if your guilt would be left behind if you left fast enough. You froze just outside the doorway, Jiyong was leaning against the wall beside the bathroom door, biting his bottom lip as he gave you a heavy gaze. Your heart began to race at the thought he might have heard you, he opened his mouth and was about to say something but was cut off by the sound of a door opening. He quickly pushed passed you into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.


“Morning Jagiya” Seung hyun cooed as he walked over to you, you shook your head slightly trying to get Jiyongs heavy gaze out of your head.


“Good morning oppa” you greeted him with a small smile, guilt hit you again as he wrapped you in a hug and kissed you.


“Mmmm it is a good morning” he moaned between kisses as he pulled you in closer.


“Give it a rest you two” Seungri’s voice as he passed you broke the two of you apart.


“You’re just jealous she’s all mine” Seung hyun teased the younger man, his words hit you. You were with him, so why were your thoughts flooded with someone else?


“Whatever” Seungri replied as he opened the fridge. “Are you coming to the show tonight Noona?”


“Umm I’m not sure” you answered as you looked at Seung hyun, he had a large smile on his face. “I wasn’t really planning….”


“She’s coming” Seung hyun said cutting you off.


“I am?” you asked looking back at him again.


“Yes, I’ve already organised everything”


When the lights went out as the last song ended you silently thank god it was over, Seung hyun had promised you that no one would notice you but he neglected to tell you he had seated you in a special vip section that was cordoned off from the rest of the crowd. You could feel the eyes of their fans glaring holes in you as you sat in the section surrounded by empty seats, it didn’t help that through the concert Seung hyun kept looking up at you and winking in your direction.


“So much for subtlety” you whispered to yourself as you stood from your seat and headed back stage.


There were people running around everywhere, franticly trying to accomplish the tasks they had been given. You awkwardly stood to the side unsure of where to go or what to do as you watched the people rushing around.


“Noona” a familiar voice called, you turned to see Taeyang waving at you. You let out a sigh of relief as you walked over to him. “You looked lost” he said with a chuckle.


“I felt lost” you words made him laugh again.


“Come on, their this way” he said before turning and heading down a hall.


You followed him into a room at the end of the hall, as soon as you entered Seung hyun threw his arms around you.


“You could have put me in with the rest of the crowd” you said giving him a light tap on the chest.


“But I wanted you to enjoy the show, plus this way I could see your beautiful face” he replied with a grin.


“You are such a cheeseball” you said as you pushed him away from you making him laugh.


“You love it” he replied as he wiggled his eyebrows at you, you groaned and turned to sit down almost bumping into someone as you did. You looked up to see Jiyong standing in front of you, he still had his black leather pants on but his shirt was off, exposing the tattoos he had scattered across his toned body. You bit your bottom lip as your eyes scanned him, his hair was wet and hanging in his eyes, it was full of sweat from dancing under the hot lights of the stage. Your eyes followed as a drop of sweat fell from his hair and ran down his chest, your cheeks flushed pink as the thought of trailing it with your hand popped into your head.


“Where gonna go grab a shower, we’ll be back soon” Seung hyun’s voiced made you remember where you were.


“Ok” you simply answered as you turned away from Jiyong and sat on the couch.


All of the guys left, including Jiyong, he was unusually quiet as he followed behind the others.


“Get it together” you scolded yourself, the image of him sweaty and shirtless was stuck in your head.


Jiyong was the first one back, he sat across from you completely silent as his eyes scanned down your body. You internally scolded yourself for wearing such a short skirt as you shifted to adjust it, as if it were even possible to pull it down. He opened his his mouth ready to speak when he was cut off once again by the sound of the door.


“Alright lets go Jagiya” Seung hyun said from the door way.


“Where are we going?” you asked as you stood up, you didn’t really care as long it was away from Jiyongs gaze.


“To a club, the guys are coming too” he replied with a smile.


“Wait what?” you asked stopping just short of him, he laughed at how shocked you were at the news.


“Well we do like to party” he said as a large smile spread over his face, you gave him a slap on the arm at his bad pun as you walked past him.


As the night went on you loosened up a little, the drinks the guys kept passing you helped ignore Jiyongs constant gaze as well as the glares from the other patrons.


“I need to go to the bathroom” you said as you placed a hand on Seung hyun’s arm to help you up, the alcohol making you wobble slightly. Seung hyun was too caught up in conversation with Taeyang about his art collect to notice you.


You were walking down the hall to the bathrooms when an arm snaked around your waist and pulled you into a room, the light flicked on and you noticed it was a disabled toilet. Your hair was brushed away from your neck and replaced by a pair of lips, you moaned as you relaxed back into the body that was pressed up against yours earning a moan from them, your eyes flicked open as soon as you recognised it.


“Ji, what are you doing?” you asked in a panic as you removed his hands and turned to face him.


“I know you want me just as much as I want you” he said as he stepped towards you, you took a step back and hit the wall.


“We agreed this couldn’t happen again” you said as you furrowed you brow.


“I know….. but that was before I heard you moaning in the shower this morning” he said as he trapped you in, you turned your head away unable to look him in the eye, he placed his hand under your chin and forced you to look at him. “And before I saw you looking at me tonight as if you would devour me right there and then”


“Ji…. please don't” you begged as you looked him the eyes, his face was so close to yours you couldn’t think straight, all you wanted to do was crash your lips against his.


“I can’t help myself, especially when you’re in a skirt like this” he said as his hand brushed your thigh and up your skirt, you whimpered at the feeling.


Jiyong span you around, you placed your hands on the full length mirror that was stuck to the wall as he pulled your ass back and rubbed himself against you, earning himself another whimper.


“Do you have any idea what this skirt does to me?” he groaned in your ear, his voice vibrated right through you making you shiver as you let out a moan.


Jiyongs hand glided back up your thigh, finding its way to the lace g-string you had worn under it, he groaned as he ran his fingers over the fabric.


“You’re already wet for daddy” he said as he pushed down on your clit making you buck your hips back into him as you threw your head back. “Do you want daddy?” he asked as he slipped his hand down the front of your g-string and between your folds.


“This is wrong” you moaned as your legs began to give way.


“Are you saying we should stop?” he asked as he stopped moving his hand, you let out a whimper at the loss.


“No…..” you said as you moved your hips back and forth in an attempt to get back some friction.


“So we should keep going?” he asked as he gave you clit a slight flick.


“Yes” you moaned as you pushed against him, you could feel his erection pushing into your ass.


“Yes what?” he asked as his finger slid down to your entrance and circled around it, he could feel you clenching.


“Yes daddy” you replied looked as his reflection with desperation.


Jiyong smirked as he pushed his finger inside of you, you moaned straight away and clenched around him. You could feel his palm pressing against your clit as he pumped his finger in and out of you, sending shock waves of pleasure through you every time. The feeling was so intense, you had never felt anything like it before, you moaned louder and threw your head back as you pushed against his cock.


“Fuck it” he groaned as he pulled his finger out of you, you looked back at him confused as he pulled up the back of your skirt, he licked his lips as he looked down at your g-string. He pulled it half way down your thighs before you heard the sound of his zipper coming undone.


“Wait” you called as you began to stand up right, he placed his hand on you lower back and pushed you back down so your ass was sticking out.


“It’s ok, I’m not going to enter you” he said before pushing himself through your wet folds, you moaned as the ridge on the head of his cock passed over your clit.


He began to pump his hips like he was fucking you but his cock remained outside, you pushed your thighs together so you could gain more friction over your clit. It wasn’t long before his cock was completely soaked with your juices, sliding with ease over your clit.


“Fuck you’re so hot” he groaned as he fastened his pace, digging his fingers into the flesh of your hips as he did. Your moans got louder as the heat between your legs built up, you moved your hips in time with his, you needed to come.


“Shhh” he said as he slowed down his pace. “I know where in a club but someone could still hear us”


“Just shut up and make me come” you growled as you looked his reflection in the eye, he bit down on his bottom lip before he started up again. The sound of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room and your senses along with the low moans and groans you were both giving off. You could feel the bubble about to burst, you moved your hips faster needing to reach your high.


“Fuck” Jiyong groaned as he gave your ass a slap, it took you by surprise, your hips dramatically snapped forward and then back again. You were so wet that when your hips moved back Jiyong cock slid right inside you, your mouth dropped open with a loud breathy moan at the feeling of him against your walls, you clenched around him as he began to pull out but you pushed back on him again, clenching and moaning as he slid inside you.


“Fuck me daddy, make me come” you moaned as you pumped your hips on his cock. He grabbed a fist full of hair as he began to thrust fast and hard into you, he was so deep it was driving you crazy.


“Touch yourself for daddy, help him make you come” he groaned in your ear, you did as he said. You removed one of your hands from the mirror and reached under your skirt, rubbing circles around your clit as he fucked you from behind. You could feel yourself tightening around him, shock waves of pleasure ran through your body with every thrust he made.


“Fuck, I’m gonna come” you practically screamed as you picked up the pace around your clit, you could feel your wetness running down your thigh.


“I thought I told you to be quiet” he growled as he tugged roughly on your hair, you moaned loudly as you came around him, your body twitched as he slowed his pace. Once he knew you were done he pulled out of you and span you around, you looked at him still panting as your body tried to recover. “On your knees” he commanded.


You took him in your mouth as soon as you dropped to your knees, he dropped his head back as he let out a hiss at the feeling. You didn’t waste any time, you knew he was close and you were running out of time before the others became suspicious. You opened up your throat and took him deep and fast, jerking the base of his cock as you did, you could feel him begin to twitch inside your mouth.


“Look at me” he growled, you looked up at him as you continued, he came in your mouth as soon as your eyes locked. Salty bursts of liquid hitting you in the back of the throat as he groaned.


As soon as it was over you felt the guilt hit you again, how did this man have this kind of control over you, to turn you into a mess every time he had you alone. You each cleaned yourselves up, not saying a word or looking in the others direction as you did so. As soon as you were done you walked out of the room, you weren’t able to get out of there fast enough. When you got back to the club you went straight to the bar and ordered two shots, one to rid the taste of Jiyong from your mouth and the other to rid him from your thoughts. It was all done now, you had fucked and gotten rid of the tension, it would never happen again.

is it just me or is there something regressive about only allowing vanilla stuff in lgbtq+ content. like why are only the straights allowed to have cool lovecraftian twists in their stories. why can’t we have it too? it’s honestly only 1/8th of the queer main characters who is this evil lovecraftian demon, and i think that’s okay?!?! everyone else are varying s/cinnamon rolls? what’s the point in progress and representation if we’re not allowed our own fun horrific twists?

Anyone who thinks gender is a social construct and tries to use David Reimer as an example of “dysphoria being social” is automatically supporting the thesis of a pedophile who never even used Reimer in his future research because he was mortified that it didn’t give him the results he wanted.

David NEVER HAD DYSPHORIA. He was always happy being a boy which he was born as, he was cis not trans despite what you fucks try to say. He was FORCIBLY raised as a girl by a psychologist who even used gender stereotypes to try and convince David he was a girl, IE he made his twin brother dry hump his ass to try and make David feel less like a man while they where children.

This psychologist which started the whole gender is social bullshit also believed it was okay for an adult and child to be in a relationship as long as they didn’t DIRECTLY have sex.

This man ruined two young children’s lives because he was so hellbent on “proving” gender and sex were just myths. No his research never lead anywhere or to any conclusive proof nor did anyone else’s.

Reimer never developed dysphoria as he was content being born a boy. Being forcibly raised one way doesn’t make him trans. The case only proves that you can’t raise a child to be something they aren’t. It only proves that society CAN NOT INFLUENCE A PERSON’S GENDER/SEX!

If you use David, and yes you better fucking call him David as he was a man not a woman you fucks, as proof of gender and sex being social than all you’re doing is supporting the thesis and ramblings of a pedophile who caused a kid to become suicidal and ruined the childhood and life of the twin.

Seriously fuck you if you do this shit. Don’t fucking twist Davids life and suicide to fit a narrative that killed him.

youtube

I know this is a DT blog and i don’t normally post things like this but i feel like more people need to see this because what team 10 did is very wrong. They could’ve ruined a man’s live, his career. I am 10000% behind Banks and i have so much respect and admiration for the way he is handling things and the determination he has to find every proof to clear his name. Like Max said in the video “inoccent until proven guilty ”. But team 10 didn’t give Banks the benefit of the doubt, with no proof whatsoever they went and smeared his name. I find that absolutely revolting.
I hope Banks sorts everything out and team 10 gets what they deserve

Sorry for the rant and for this not being dt related

my mother warned me
that time is more ruthless than any man she’d ever met.
time takes more lives. time ruins more friendships.
time doesn’t pause with sympathy.

i know they say forewarned is forearmed
but i think some truths will cut deep regardless.
no matter how often she touches my cheek and tells me
not to stand on cliff edges that are already crumbling
i am always surprised when i fall.

three years ago i was tempted to tattoo us
into my skin, a semi-dramatic gesture of platonic love
from a place so sure you knew all the best and worst
parts of me, a place even time could never
wrap its clock hands around.

every line between us stood unbroken.
i’d shield you from rocks when the cliffs tried to crumble,
you’d shield me from the sea when i drifted too deep.
when i look back i can see where the fractures might
have formed but they were nothing like these chasms.

i have never felt as alone as when i noticed the gap
where your shadow usually attaches to mine. the absence
is as cold as the water but it hurts three times as much.
for the first time in 13 years i stare out to sea
and i sink as a single form.

i don’t know what kind of world will be waiting
when i surface, but i will surface- it might take longer,
swimming alone, but part of what you taught me
is that the sky is always in sight. you just have
to look up for long enough to see it.

l.s. | dissolution © 2017