this man pretty much can do anything

giving a little love and some hate...

Aries, I like how hard working and good hearted you are. Pretty generous and make me laugh! Fun af too. But shy? You know what you want and how to get it. Good job. 

Ok Taurus you make me laugh because damn are you hard headed and sometimes just to be annoying and pick at people. I definitely get that humor and highly encourage it! Seriously though, you are adorably sensual. 

Um Gemini doesn’t get a description because it would be a roast.

Cancer reminds me of the child in the zodiac. Up for anything and innocent. There’s this friendly glow about them, don’t have to say or do much and entertain the hell out of me! Psycho but the kind of psycho that is acceptable and gets things done. 

Oh boy, much experience with Leos. Extremely sensitive and ready to fight back yet believe they deserve the world. Sometimes you do. Pretty irresistible. I get you man. Somewhat. Honestly there is this hypnotic way about your eyes too. #sistersign

Alright Virgos I don’t know how you do it but it’s almost like you can read into my entire being just by looking at me. For real. I love your point of views and the way you speak. Surprisingly emotional but only if pushed. 

Don’t know much about you Libras except the fact of having this outer shell to impress. Pretty dangerous to get close. Real confusing. 

Damn Scorpios could calm down a lot. I mean even if you don’t speak, it’s your stare or that energy. And guess what? People are going to know your motives at one point or another so no point in trying to be secretive. Narcissists.  

Aye Sagittarius! I admire you in so many ways. First off, that energy. Crack me up and make me wonder. Adventures, funny stories and obnoxious laughs is what I think of. The blunt nature is top notch. 

Capricorn you remind me of a father figure who works his ass off yet makes sarcastic jokes to get through the day and expect it to be taken the wrong way but it makes everyone laugh hard as hell. That’s basically your being. 

Hey there alien Aquarius, my family! (cheesy I know, just one way to describe us). I mean I love how original and deep we are. Well according to others we don’t have souls which is ok with me. Outcasts with a cause. Dark humor. Want to please yet say screw off. Just a huge contradiction. 

There is a huge misunderstanding of Pisces in my mind. I want to sometimes like you but don’t think it’s going to happen. The trippy thing is annoying and not much about you interests me. I guess you’re sweet. A bit funny. All I got. 

Straight White Boy Problem #865

Me: hey bro we should totally hang out this weekend. We haven’t chilled in forever and im down for anything. We can even go to our favorite pizza place after we hit the gym bro. If u are “Finna tryna” get wasted, i just got my fake so we can go pretty much anywhere man lol what do you want to do?

bro: im hanging out with my gf dude….

Me: *very dismayed* I….just want to have quality time with my bro….bro…….bros before….before….ho– *sobs* no… happy for ya bro…*sobs*….hhhhhhh

So, I was thinking about those “what if humans are space orcs/Earth is space Australia” and like, what if our food was one of the ways aliens think we’re weird?

Like it would start off with fine dining and they’re like

“Hey Golta, did you know the humans like to go to these big decorated rooms with noise coming from a thing called a ‘pee-and-o’ and they order this food thats really expensive, but like really tiny portions?”

“They pay more for less food?”

“Yeah, Brad-human said it’s because the food is like fresh and high quality and really hard to get. But I looked up some of the foods and they’re just disgusting.”


“Like baby animals that have never walked before because it makes the meat tender, or one of their flying animals stuffed with food until it dies to make it really fatty, or fish eggs scraped straight from a mothers de-”

“Oh Karn, stop you’re gonna make me throw up.”

And then, like, later they’d discover junk food and like basically artificially made food. And they’re first reaction is positive, thinking hey that could keep the cost of food production down, do these processed foods have the same nutritional value?

And Brad-human is like, “Uhh, not really, it’s all like super bad for you, and pretty much anything healthy is taken out of it.”

And the aliens are like, wait whaaaaaatttt? “Then why do you eat it?”

“IDK man it tastes good?”

“But theres no benefit to eating it?”

“Yeah, but, like, dude it tastes really good.”

And they like offer a bag of hot cheetos and the alien tries it and they can barely stomach it because it tastes so weird to them. But then later they get a craving for that particular flavor so they sneak into Brad’s room and grab a bag of hot cheetos and start munching.

Brad catches them, but instead of being angry he just says, “Pfft, I knew you’d like 'em. Careful though, they’ll make you fat, and I read once that they have some additive in them that makes you not feel full so you’ll just keep eating more.”

And the alien just looks at him with this horror struck face, looks at the bag, slowly hands them to Brad and leaves.


Originally posted by withjunhui


Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 

Since sex is kind of rough with Jun, he’s pretty intense, aftercare is very important. Making sure muscles aren’t pulled, and if he’s had you in a particularly stretch needed position, he’s curled up with you and massaging the spot he’s had you bent. Affection is spewed a lot after sex, letting you know he really cares for you, and showers are taken before crashing back in bed.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

He’s entirely obsessed with your thighs, being able to hold you to him and control your movements when he’s thrusting, feeling the soft skin beneath his fingers, and even see the marks his digits made the day after. For himself, he’s the massive tease and his fingers are his tool of choice, they’re his favorite, making you squirm just from his digits.

C = Cum 

I see Jun as being one of those nasty fuckers that likes to cum on you as a symbol of marking you. Hickies aren’t exactly a thing he can do to you, at least, in the place he wants to, so 9/10, he’s cumming on your stomach or chest, and seeing you all fucked out and covered in his cum, really his favorite thing.

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

Being the semi dominant he is, he’s used to bossing you around in the bedroom. One thing he’s always thought about and prob will do is having you laid out, all ready for him, and have you get yourself off as he tells you exactly what to do as he watches. The dominance of controlling your movements even as you do it to yourself, is something he thinks about a lot.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
I don’t see him having much experience, but he’s fairly knowledgeable on the subject, and he’s pretty eager to get started on you. Eager to please, and having a fresh slate to play with, he’s easily got the hang of things and by the end of play time, he’s a master. 

F = Favorite position

Jun likes a lot of positions, and puts you in several before he’s done, so they aren’t numbered as a #1 and on. He’s a classical man, he likes good ol’ missionary, doggy style is a very favorable, spooning, you riding him is always a special treat that he’s particularly fond of.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Jun’s the clown of your relationship, but in the bedroom he’s someone else. Kinda like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He’s really focused and in the zone with you, it’s almost like these no air in the room when he’s with you, he just has such a powerful presence. He saves the fun for outside the bedroom.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
I don’t see him being groomed much, unless you tell him ‘yo dude…shave ya dick’, he’s not one for manscaping or anything. If you’ve got an issue with hair like me you gotta bring it up. Otherwise, he just lets the jungle thrive.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He’s developed a bit of a character during sex, he’s really a different person in the bedroom as opposed to the Jun you’re with every day. He’s pretty intense in the bedroom, while he worships the hell out of your body, it’s not very lovey dovey at all. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

The boy can’t even be alone in the bathroom, I think he’d be very hesitant to whip it out, without like…sending a mass text like ‘im jerkin it if you come in im kicking your ass’ which isn’t happening. So he’s very quick about, just to get the arousal out and gone, lord knows when someone’ll decide to pick a lock.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Jun’s a very visual guy when it comes to kinks; it’s what he sees that turns him on. Good lingerie or some outfits(nurse, maid, etc) are a big turn on for him. He gets into role playing a bit, so costumes and outfits are a real essential to him. ‘no those aren’t my halloween costumes from over the years, jun bought them for me to fuck me in’ kind of thing. He’s rather dominant, that’s for sure, but he’s not overbearing. It’s obvious he’s in control, but calling you names or spanking aren’t a common, but he likes to be called sir occasionally. Sprinkle it in during sex and it drives him crazy.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

[See Risk] He’s not keen on being caught, or walked in on, since apparently locked doors mean nothing to SVT. Bedroom is standard, it’s good, it’s reliable, etc. And it’s pretty obvious that if you and him go into the bedroom and shut the door, it’s ‘don’t bother jun’ time. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Playing into his kink, really all you have to do somehow let it be known that you’re wearing his favorite lingerie, or start touching on his thigh. Starts the arousal pretty fast.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

While he does like role playing, doctor and nurse, all that good stuff, Daddy is one that goes right out the door. Call him daddy and sex is over for the night, he’s not playing with you. Wax was tried once, pain isn’t his thing, so that’s off the list too. He doesn’t like things with you or him that cause pain, spanking and belts, are a no go.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Master of foreplay and teasing, his fingers and tongue are his #1 tools. Oral is one of the times he lets you dominate, he gladly lays down and lets you ride his face. On the flip side, while he is kind of a horny toad, and his sex drives it up, he’s not easy to go, boners aren’t just popped, you going down on him is practically a step in sex, just adds to the foreplay and you get to have control for that time, which is always fun.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Typically, he’s very erratic and fast, boarder lined rough, but not unbearable. He’s really precise with his thrusts, he knows exactly what buttons to push, and how to work your body.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s not very favorable with quickies, he likes to tease you to hell and back, and he misses out on that with the time crunch, so they don’t happen very often. You can probably count on one hand how many quickies he’s had, they’re not really in his good book. Jun likes taking his time, building the pleasure, and toying with you for ages instead.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He’s not particularly into the whole exhibitionist kink, he’s not keen on being caught so locations are played with, but only if he’s 100% sure you’re not going to get walked in on or seen. Aside from that, he’s pretty game to anything, positions, role plays, etc, he’s down with the discussion and if you both decide you want to go through with it, it’s on.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
His stamina is pretty average, 5-10 minutes is his limit most times, and one round is usually it considering how much he draws cumming out. But after a nap, he’s ready to go again. Sex several times in a day isn’t uncommon with him, just not one right after another. 

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Jun’s a man of few likes, that aren’t just the two of you in the bedroom. He’s not too keen on anything making your body buzz aside from his body, so toys are kept to a minimum. A few scarves are favored instead of handcuffs, and a couple, various vibrators are around sometime, but that’s about it. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Jun is unforgiving in the bedroom. He’s very in control, and that gives him the special power of teasing you to the ends of the Earth if he wants; and he does. With the help of scarves, he’s got you pinned and at his mercy, that he doesn’t have, and edging you with his choice bullet vibrator, letting his hands work down below and mouth focus on your chest till it’s covered in his mark. You won’t get away without a good 20-30 minutes of solid teasing from him. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Jun’s more of a grunter, imagine this with me, Jun in the midst of thrusting into you with all he’s got, sweat covering his skin. He’s propped up on his knees, looking down at you squirming with each thrust, jaw tight, eyebrows scrunched in focus, heavy breaths and small grunts of satisfaction leaving his clenched teeth. yeah.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
The first time you two adventured into a more…interesting position, not used to the stretch, obviously you got a cramp because? bruh, you pulling leg muscles I didn’t know I had. The same word was used, and he immediately freaked out and lowkey started crying because he ‘hurt you’. Took you 20 minutes to calm him down, and get back into it. Poor baby, just loves you too much.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Similar to Joshua, Jun’s more slender and long in build. Nana says guys that are little on top(shoulders) aren’t insane down below. He’s pretty wild in bed, so it’s a slight makeup for not being the biggest, Jun’s a bit under the average, 4-4.5″ and more slender in girth, but that whole motion in the ocean shiz is real, y’all, don’t worry.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Nana took one look at him and said he’d hump your leg if you said okay, so I’m running with that. Jun’s got an above average sex drive, he’s a lowkey horny toad that he can’t even hide from you because he’s so clingy. He’s up and running at the drop of a hat, so you’re in for it. Good luck.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Jun sex is pretty exhausting, if anyone ignored the fact you’re butt ass naked, and dicks and titties are out, someone’d think you just ran the mile in 8th grade. Legs are incapable of working, and everyone’s out of breath, sweating like you just got caught in the rain. If sleep doesn’t immediately follow sex, it’s probs a risk of passing out later. So kinda as the last step of aftercare, sleep always follows sex. Few minutes after you’re done and clean, and you’re both curled up in bed.

"I Have To Study” - a short story

I wanna dedicate this to my good friend, Melissa, who tried to convince me that the man in this story was gay. Turns out, it’s much worse. Love you.

About eight or nine months ago, I was riding on the train, on my way to my boyfriend’s house from work. Sitting across from me is one of the finest men I’ve ever seen IN PERSON. No exaggeration. He’s Mexican, clean-cut, well-dressed. Really pretty brown skin, dark hair kinda like that poofy up-do Bruno Mars used to have. Bushy brows, the way I like! He was wearing this tan trench coat and a serious ass expression on his face, and his hands were in his pockets. Basically looked like he didn’t wanna be bothered. It was sexy though lol. But obviously, I’m just looking because I’m happily taken at this point. 

The next day, when I head to lunch at work, I see the same guy in the cafeteria at my job. I was like what the fuck… is he following me? Lmao. He looked up when I came in but then ignored me completely. I stared at him the entire time until he got up and left, he was just too fine yall. I wish I could post pictures lmao. The next day, I saw him yet again and he was with a group of trainees. So finally it made sense why I saw him on the train and at my job. He was about to start working there *insert Birdman hand rub*. Lol even when I have a man, I can appreciate some eye candy around the workplace even if I have no intentions of trying anything. He worked in the department right next to mine and they were always over in our section so I got to look at him every day. I wasn’t the only one admiring either lol, even an older lady I know said every time he walked past her, she just

So anyway, fast forward to September 14, 2017.

Here’s the scene. It’s my 25th birthday. I’m at work looking cute as fuck. I’m single and tryna mingle. So I decide to go ahead and take a chance and shoot my shot at him. Umm.. we just gone call him Javi because I don’t wanna use his real name. 

So I been noticing lately that this guy I know in my department, we’ll call him Carter, has been hanging around Javi a lot lately. He stops at his desk every time he walks past and always goes to stand with him whenever we all do things as a group. One of my work friends who had an inckling that Carter was gay thought that something might be going on between them. I mean, anything is possible, but I wasn’t gonna assume that just based off of her thoughts. I mean, she thought her own boyfriend was gay when she first met him because he had a lisp. And her only reasoning for thinking Carter was gay was that he takes his shoes off sometimes when he’s sitting at his desk. 

Anyway, I approach Carter and bring up his friendship with Javi and ask how old he is? It turns out he’s way too young for my taste when it comes to dating, and I just say nevermind and walk away. But now Carter’s all in my business trying to find out why I’m curious and saying “I could get his number for you, I got you”. I decline, but of course when he comes back from his break, he has a sticky note with Javi’s name and number on it and hands it to me. Didn’t even tell the guy who I was, just that someone was interested in him. I had no intentions of using it at first cause I thought the shit was kinda creepy, butttttt he did know about it and gave his number up willingly. And in all honesty, I’d still hit even though I wouldn’t seriously date him. So what the hell, right?

So I text him that night and give him my name and he immediately knows who I am, even though we’ve never spoken before. He asked me what was on my mind and I told him straight up that I was really physically attracted to him and I wanted to know if we could be friends, who have sex sometimes lmao. He said we could talk. I’m like… And he said yeah, how else would anything start. So I’m thinking okay okay, so he’s fucking with it. He wants to make something happen. He said he saw my art that I’d presented at our work talent show that night and he asked to see more of it. And he’s clearly trying to keep the convo going so he must be interested. 

After a while though, I notice that he texts as if he’s writing poetry or bible verses or some shit. Like everything sound deep as fuck. And when I bring it up, he says the bible is his favorite book. I think back to all the times I saw him reading alone at lunch and realize was the bible. That’s cool or whatever. Then he sends me an actual bible verse. So I’m like “Okay so you’re very religious? Does this mean casual sex is out of the question? Or sex, period? I guess?” And he says “It hurts to say it, but yes. I would prefer to not induldge in that.”


At this point, I’m thinking there’s no way my sex life could get any worse. There’s nothing that can happen that hasn’t already happened. And then I run into a nigga who’s saving himself for marriage. The one I been lusting after for eight months now. If yall know me at all, you know I wasn’t about to just completely give up after that. I was willing to settle for fucking MAKING OUT AND DRY HUMPING if I had to. I could always get intercourse from someone else lol. So I ask about kissing. He says “Haha I can give you a holy kiss, as saying hello”. I’m like no tongue???? What the fuck is happening? Why the fuck wouldn’t he tell me all this in the beginning when I first told him that I wanted to fuck? His response to that was that we wouldn’t be talking now if he had. 

So I just go ahead and let him know we can be cool and everything, but we’re just completely incompatible. I’m still in my hoe phase right now, I’m not trying to do anything but fuck and be friends. And he can’t give me the one thing I want most. Even if I didn’t just want sex, we wouldn’t work in a committed relationship either. I’m like the opposite of what a Christian man should be going after. And that’s coming from one wholesome motherfucker. We text more that night, pretty much just me asking him questions about his religion because I don’t know how all that works. I know Christian people, but obviously not any who takes it as seriously as he does. 

This nigga don’t listen to secular music, watch TV, or do anything for fun really (his words). He just goes to bible study every day, gets haircuts, eat, study, and talk. That’s what he listed as his favorite things to do. And since he’s constantly studying for church in his downtime, he pretty much never hangs out with anybody. He has friends at work but says they don’t hang out because they have different mindsets. He did mention that if I needed physical affection, he could give me a massage. That’s how he shows physical affection. It’s better than intercourse, according to him. But idek how to feel at this point, I was taking in too much information at once lmao. And every time I learned something new, I would think “He can’t be serious” “Am I being punk’d” “This nigga is not fr”. But he told me he wanted to help me with my Spanish, so I figured at least I had that. I really needed someone fluent to practice speaking it with. 

So the whole next week at work, whenever we walk past each other, he can’t help but smile at me and his smile is so pretty that I can’t help but smile back. It was lowkey pissing me off cause it wasn’t fair how fine he is and I can’t even put my hands on him!!!!! I’m sure we looked goofy as hell to everyone around us, steady smirking at each other like we was in on some inside joke nobody else knew about. We ate lunch together once. And we’d text each other in Spanish. He texted me every single day to say good morning and we’d have long convos after work til almost 3am. I found out he’s been looking at me just as long as I’ve been looking at him! He said he notices everything about me… when I change my hair, how I always sit at a desk in the back facing the wall, how I’m always so into my music at work. I never even knew he saw me at all before this. And naturally, all this shit is starting to make me feel mushy and I really did enjoy talking to him, even though I thought he was weird as fuck at first. 

And come to find out, he’s only been living his life this way for the past eight months (yeah, that’s right, eight months) when he really got into the bible more. I’m over here thinking he’s a complete virgin, but he’s had four girlfriends and has had sex before and been intimate in all the ways I WANTED to be intimate with him. Just not the past eight months. And if I allowed him to MASSAGE me, I’d be the first woman he ever did it to. I’m thinking okay… so if he’s never done it before, he has no idea how he’s gonna react to it when it’s actually happening. He’d told me before that he gets nothing out of sex beside some white creamy texture that comes out of him and makes him feel tingly, then he cleans himself and it’s over. Basically said he’d only have sex again to have the little girl he wants. He made it seem like he was really disgusted by it. And you know all my friends were like

They felt like he was into men and just hiding behind his religion. I didn’t know WHAT the fuck was going on. I  just knew he seemed to genuinely be into me and that was unfortunate because I was never gonna get to do him lol. I ain’t gone lie, after he said that shit I thought he might be gay too, but after being around each other more, I started defending him against my friends. Like shit… he just dedicated as fuck to his religion. I personally don’t understand it and wouldn’t wanna live that way, but he says he’s been tremendously happier in the past eight months and your happiness is the only thing that matters when it comes to how you live your life, nobody else’s. So I wasn’t about to try to corrupt him. But yall… he kept bringing up the massages. And Thursday night, the convo almost seemed…. sexual?

He said we can hang out any day as long as it doesn’t interfere with his work and that he was in need of a “rubbing”. He said he wanted us to “exchange rubbings” (LMAO) and that he wanted to give me that physical affection. Then he said it would be in his room or mine. Which threw me off…. cause I’m like ummm… he can massage a woman who’s not his wife alone in his bedroom? Idk, based on the other shit he told me, it didn’t seem like that would be appropriate? But shit, he knows better than me, so if he said it was cool it must be. And when I told him that he makes me blush a lot, he said “Without a touch? What will happen then?” and that I’d be overwhelmed…. and that shit made me think. Is this why tantric sex works so well???? LMAO. (I’ve always been interested in that, btw). 

But moving on. It’s Friday.

I notice he’s not at work that day. I was kinda sad about it cause I looked good as fuck, but whatever lol. When we text that night after I get home at midnight, he says he wants to hear me speak Spanish out loud and tells me to come over.

I’m like NOW??? After midnight??? He said he wanted me to come take a nap with him until he had to wake up at 4am to study for church, then he’d drive me home at 7 when he had to leave the house. Dude. So not only do you want me, a woman you’re not married to, to come over AFTER MIDNIGHT, but you wanna share a bed with me??? Solo???? En tu dormitorio?????!!! lmaooo. Nigga, I was stuffing White Castle in my face at the time, but I bagged that shit up real quick, fast, and in a hurry, took a good shit right quick, and got ready to go LMAOOOO. My friend was texting me saying I needed to gone head and let him put the tip in lol. But I’m like no…. I’m not gonna use this opportunity to try to pressure him. I respect his decision to not have sex til marriage and I enjoyed talking to him every day and didn’t wanna mess that up. Shit, I’m capable of laying next to a man I want and not jump his bones. I actually like when shit moves slow like that, the buildup makes everything better (when sex is actually the end goal). 

So I get all cute. He texts me when he’s outside. He smelling and looking good as fuck, as usual. And this time, he’s way more silly and normal than he is at work, and definitely more normal than he is through text. He was joking around with me the whole time, talking about how he had five aunts sleeping in bunk beds in his basement and I had to say hi to everybody when I got there lmaoo. And he was really laid back and cool as hell. Which just made me like him more. He teased me about turning the air on because I’m always cold. I was like “How would you know I’m always cold?” and he said “I already told you, I notice everything about you.” And I figured he must see me at work walking with my arms crossed trying to stay warm. *sigh*. 

When we get there, his room is fucking spotless as fuck. I was silently thanking God, ya’ll know I hate a man who lives dirty and Javi is only the second guy I’ve met who actually keeps his shit clean. I just sat down on the bed and he went and got us both some water, then he turned Netflix on this hugeeee fucking wide screen tv that was mounted on the wall. He had to go find the wifi password and shit cause he doesn’t actually use it because he doesn’t watch TV?? Idk why he has the biggest TV on earth in front of his bed then?? But whatever.

He had a nice BIG comfortable bed too, and he laid down sideways on my legs while I laid with my head against the headboard and we turned on The Office. Everything was going so chill…. we were laughing, talking, enjoying each other…. he touches my hands, asking me to rub his back and shit… ummhmmm… then he started to say something but stopped himself. And started mumbling. I’m like spit it out! He said he couldn’t if he wanted this space to stay holy and pure, and he knew what he was tryna say but it was about what was right and what was wrong. I said that’s fine, I’m not gonna try to persuade you to do anything you don’t wanna do. A little while later he was asking if I ever thought I would be there (I’m guessing with him, in his bed) and I said nope… it escalated quickly. And he agreed and said “a lot more could happen right now if we wanted it to…… but I can’t”. And once again I said I wasn’t gonna pressure him and didn’t wanna corrupt him. 

His dick was hard, I could tell cause he had these skinny ass jeans on before he laid down. And he took a pillow and said he was gonna sleep with it between his legs, tryna hide it and shit. He was telling me not to sleep on my side cause then he would have to come behind me. He took his shirt off. He said some more shit about where things could go at any moment and I asked him why he keeps talking about it if he doesn’t want it to happen?? Just going on and on and on. You wanna fuck or nah?? I would been down either way, but I needed him to make up his damn mind lmaobs. Then suddenly, this nigga jumps out of bed quick as fuck, turns the light on, starts putting a shirt on and I’m like what are you doing…. and he says he’s gonna take me home. WTF.

He was mumbling a bunch of shit….all I caught was “I guess this is my way of apologizing” but I didn’t care about what he was saying. I was just like whatever… put my shoes on and grabbed my bag. He was obviously confused about what he wanted. I knew this shit would happen. I don’t even know why I went. He was way too confident in his abilities to avoid temptation and talking about how only people with no equanimity allowed themselves to be tempted. So while we in the car, the convo went like this:

Me: Are you taking me home because you’re scared you might try something? 

Him: Why would I be scared, if I wanted to try something I would have done it 

Me: Then why are you taking me home?

Him: I have to study

Me: Okay but you were gonna study and take me home at 7am so what’s the problem?”

Him: I have to study

And that’s when I got mad and let him talk to himself for the rest of the ride home. I couldn’t believe this shit. I was gone for only two hours. I decided I was gonna leave him alone because he obviously needs to get his thoughts together on what he wants to do. It was all on him…. HE asked me to come over, HE asked me to share a bed with him, HE was the one all over me in bed and saying suggestive things, I was just going with the flow. Yeah, he was looking good as fuck and he thick as hell and his ass was looking extra grippable, but I didn’t try anything, didn’t even flirt. I was being respectful as fuck. I wasn’t gonna be the one he blamed for making him stray away from God or whatever the fuck lmao. So that has been my week. It’s the afternoon the next day now and I woke up thinking about this shit because his scent is still on me  *eyeroll*


anonymous asked:

Hi there ania~ It took me quite a lot of effort, but I'm at a point where I'm really content with the pace I'm improving at with my art. But I'm having a hard time figuring out how to make it look less plain and more whole? If that makes sense? I feel great about my work, but it feels like it's missing something. Is there any advice you could give about that? Thank you!

I’m so happy that you are happy with your improvement and art!!! It’s such a simple thing but is a very difficult stage to reach. I’m not sure if you are talking about final illustrations that you are doing or sketches (or just everything you do in art in general), but I’ll take sketchbook examples that can apply to all art.. I’m pretty sure.

1. Smooth line art never fails to make artwork look finished. The smoother your lines, the more ‘whole’ the artwork looks. Unless you’re painting or it is on purpose that it is not smooth. So it’s important that you practice your strokes (but it will get better over time automatically as you draw anything)!

2. Color! If you use your colors right it’ll look so much better. I drew this old man and colored him in orange highlights and colored in a blue background (the opposite color of orange!) so that he pops.

3. Decorative elements: use your imagination. Even the simplest decoration behind what your drawing will complete your art. In this case I drew a guy smoking and used the cloud shaped smoke as decor. (this art looks dirty because the graphite kept smudging. if you want to prevent this, use hairspray! it really works!)

4. Lets say you drew only a character called Lucy and you’re really proud of her, but it doesn’t look finished or enough for it to get to that ‘wow factor’. Don’t be afraid of adding elements around Lucy. Draw her at a scene, in a dream, draw her best friend next to her, draw her again but in a different pose, or even just color her in!


If you look at other people’s sketchbooks, you can see how their art looks complete too: (smart composition) ( use of lettering and color) (line art is important!) (dont be afraid of drawing big or using the whole page)

A-Z NSFW: Hoshi

Originally posted by visual-17


Donate | Masterlist

A = Aftercare 

Hoshi’s extremely affectionate in your relationship, and in sex, and of course that means he goes insanely overboard with aftercare. Even though sex is pretty tamed, there’s not exactly a way for you to even get hurt, he’s still determined to make you stay still while he runs and grabs a rag to wipe you down with, and manages to make you drink water #StayHydratedKids and smother you in kisses and cuddling you, and basically writing poetry with how much love he preaches once you’re relaxing in bed again.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) 

After he’s figured it out, his fingers have easily become Hoshi’s favorite. Just brushing them over your skin is enough to draw a shiver from you, having your body so responsive to just his fingers just gives Hoshi a blast or dominance and his ego flies sky high. You, however, he really loves your legs. He’s touching them constantly, and the soft skin is his choice place to grab and pull to him when he’s giving you that good dick all night long. why am i like this idk Seeing his finger makes all over your leg, is almost enough to make him bust right there.

C = Cum 

Not gonna lie, he’s messy as hell. Try as he might, he always ends up making a mess. Condoms are a main default just because no one wants to do laundry constantly because of his no-aim having ass jizzing all over the bed. 

D = Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) 

Lowkey he likes the idea of you in costume, role playing etc. One he really likes, is a bit of kitten play, but how in the hell does someone bring that up? ‘hey babe, put these cat ears on and meow while i pound you with my wiener’ literally not happening. He’s keeping that to himself, until he figures out how to subtly bring it up. 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Boy’s hips certainly know what they’re up to…..He for certain knows what he’s doing, he’s pretty good with his hips, but his finger and tongue skills had to be tuned and corrected a bit in the process, but that was an easy fix. 

F = Favorite position

Hoshi’s more traditional, he likes a bit of the basics. No acrobat training is needed, you aren’t gonna pull a muscle or anything. Missionary is how it starts, but always switches into a number of others by the time sex is over. By the time he’s done, he’s already had you on your back, on your knees and thrusting into you from behind, letting you ride him, he’s not a picky man, he loves it all.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Hoshi’s more serious, but not in a weird intense kind of way, more of he’s determined to make you feel his love for you, that he’s so focused there’s no room for clowning around. He does instantly turn into a fluff ball afterwards though. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they)
He’s got a nice little happy trail and tree, I don’t see him being bare, but he trims pretty well, keeps things nice and neat. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Hoshi’s pretty affectionate with you in general, and it stays the same way during sex. The atmosphere is pretty thick with feeling, but not so much lust or and intense feeling, you can just feel the love flowing from him. Deep kisses and eye contact are constants, and pants of ‘i love you’ are spewing from his lips the entire time.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation)

He’s not shy with getting intimate with himself, he’s pretty slow with himself too. Normally he’s locked away in the bathroom after the kids have gone to bed, so he’s all alone without a worry. Few times he’s called you, got off to your voice or actually pulled you into phone sex, and a handful of times he may have just looked at your selfies…oops?

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Hoshi’s a man of few kinks, but the few he has rule his existence. Nothing too wild, really. He’s not overbearingly dominant, but he is in control 90% of the time, he likes having you beneath him, squirming for him. Grinding is a very big one, he’s one that can get off happily to just dry humping you into next week. He’s got quite an obsession with marking your tummy and hips; a place no one is going to see besides him, and knowing you’re covered in his marks when no one else does, starts a fire inside him. 

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

I swear to god why do I even do this letter? They’re all in their beds lmao. Anyways, aside from the obvious, he’s pretty fond of the bath. Not shower sex, ain’t no one slipping and busting a nut when you’re with Hoshi, no no no. Bath

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

A slow grind is enough to set a bomb off in his pants. You crawling on his lap, such a typical thing for you two that he doesn’t think twice about it, until your hips start moving across his crotch. Grinding is one of his favorite stimulations and foreplay, it’s a foolproof way to turn Hoshi on.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Just for the hell of it, more so a birthday gift for you, to let you do what you want, he allowed himself to be handcuff. Didn’t like it one bit, Hoshi let you have your fun that one time, but he really hated the lack of movement and ability to touch you freely. That’s kind of the point of handcuffs…but he really doesn’t like it. Anything restricting, he’s not here for. At all.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Oral is a particular favorite of his, both ways. Hoshi is pretty keen on 69, both of you getting pleasure at the same time. His tongue is his weapon of choice, whether is be his singing ability killing your soul or his tongue attacking your pussy, he’s got you weak in the knees.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Sex with Hoshi is pretty intense in an emotional way, he’s big on affectionate being shown during sex, his pace is normal, not fast but not slow by any means, and rather sensual and emotions pour out from his pace. 

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s okay with quickies, they’re not his favorite, but sometimes all he can squeeze in is a quick one, and you two have to learn to live with it. Hoshi’s pretty good at making sure you’re both satisfied under a time limit, so that’s not an issue. But he’d rather be spread out in bed with you for hours instead. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Hoshi’s pretty vanilla in my mind, he’s not much for kink stuff or anything, so what he’s interested in trying is usually limited to positions. He’s not the most adventurous guy with things like locations, and toys, etc, but positions he does like to try new things.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Hoshi isn’t much a jackrabbit kind of guy, he’s a one tap man. He’s pretty average in time length as well, just under 10 minutes usually, one round is all he can manage without a break.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Again, he’s more on the vanilla side, toys don’t join in in the bedroom much, he doesn’t much stuff. Vibrators are the only thing he really touches on, he likes how reactive your body gets to the buzzing, amuses him to an extent, he toys with them some times, just not often.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Hoshi’s pretty merciful for you, he’s not one to make you beg for it, so he doesn’t tease much. But he does tease. A little bit, but he does. Orals usually his choice of teasing, he really likes watching you squirm for him, and what better than to have to all worked up over just his tongue?

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
Ah, sweet voalists, can you imagine a vocalist being quiet in bed, honestly? He’s not incredibly loud,but Hoshi is pretty vocal. He’s a talker, letting curses slip from his mouth like to tomorrow, groaning over how you feel, panting for you to switch positions, etc. He’s not going to be heard outside the room, but you definitely will hear him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Since sex is generally more mild, as a treat, for his birthday, you two let a little lose and tried out a few things for the hell of it. The experimental day is the reason he found he kind of likes the vibrators. Seeing you twitch and squirm in response to the new stimulation for the first time, really set something off in him.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Hoshi’s a tiny bit under the average, pushing about 4.5″ but he’s got a bit more girth than typical, more thick than length wise. Definitely something that’s more than capable of getting the job done right but it’s not gonna cripple you, count your blessings.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Hoshi’s pretty normal, his sex drive is on a leash, it’s pretty contained. He’s not going to jump your bones 24/7 like some members, sex isn’t insanely frequent. 2-3 times a week a maximum, he’s not much of a horny toad. You may just survive him, thankfully. 

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Sex with Hoshi is affectionate, slow and loving, it’s not overly exhausting. He’s not worn out after sex, barely out of breath, so he doesn’t need to have a break. He’s more than capable to just get up and carry on with the day but he’s extremely fond of cuddling after sex. Hoshi doesn’t sleep easy, but he’s not leaving the bed either way.


@tayrae515  💚💚💚🔥

( NSFW Content below that line!)
A-Z Nsfw Headcanons.

Part #1: Draco Malfoy 😘

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex) :
Likes feeling your back agaist him, spooning you, arms tightly wrapped around you. It’s his way of telling you “I love you” , beause usually he doesn’t like being touched by people he doesn’t like, trust or are generally strangers and you can have him all for yourself, touching and kissing him all over, which is very special.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) :
Your neck and cleavage. Loves it when you wear more revaling shirts and tops so he can have a nice look at your long neck and cleavage. The number of ripped shirts of yours and lost buttons is getting seriously out of hand.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person) :
Loves cumming on your tits, especially if when you have some fancy lace bra on, maybe a push up one and are on your knees waiting. 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) :
Actually likes it when you wrap your hand around his throat if he’s fucking you really hard and fast, it boosts his ego because he knows even with your hand around his neck he’s still the one in power - making you lose your mind underneath him. Will probably go even harder on you then.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Is experienced, though he never talks about , it’s just something you know for a fact, because it’s obvious he knows a lot about sex and kinks, what he wants and how to get it.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual) :
Loves it when you’re on the stomach, ass up in the air, so he can pretty much do anything he wants to you; will hold your arms behind your back with one hand & push your head into the mattresses with the other.
Him being between your legs, with you on his back is a favourite too, because he really likes looking at you while you’ve sex.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) :
Serious? Not exactly, but likes looking like a man who can handle it all and knows what he’s doing; Most likely, for one of your long, restless nights, has already planned a whole scenario in his head and likes following it.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) :
Not really a fan of having hair down there so most of the times he prefers just shaving it all, it’s easier and looks and feels neat to him.
Won’t stop you if you like having some hair down there, but will really appreciate it if you keep it groomed.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He’s the type of person to keep his emotions closed in himself, because if he lets them out they’ll form an uncontrollable storm. When he’s with you he lets his guard down and finally feels something else that’s not platonic. He’s passionate and intense and it shows in the way he kisses you - always so hungry for your lips, for your skin, for the feeling of your body against his, slightly impatient to have you all for himself.
You make him feel like a Man, you make him feel again.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon) :
Of course he does it, but is far more interested in watching you get off. The first time he heard you was an accident, the second time however, he walked in on you with no shame and told you not to stop. So you didn’t.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks) :
Not all the way in into BDSM, but: likes being dominant and having you obey his orders always leaves a look of satisfaction on his face, however will appreciate it if you don’t give in all the way, a little stuggle and messing around could be very sexy and will lead to some fun stuff like tying you down or spanking your ass, or some breath play even.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Likes feeling comfortable and prefersy our own private chambers over anything else. Big and spacious enough there’s have enough room for all the fun you’re up to.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Challenges. If you challenge him on something he’d immediately feel his whole being heating up. He’s always up for a good challenge or a dare, no matter what it is.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) :
If a person pressures him to change something about himself he’s still not ready to fully see or realise, or if generally someone tries to trick him into thinking or seeing something he either does not believe in or is not ready to accept, then Draco will get very cold and distant.
His mind is full of so many thoughts, ideas, speculations and intense feelings and emotions, it’s hard to get everything in order, it’s hard to even understand. So pressuring him will only confuse him further, and will turn him cold.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) :
Yes to both receiving and giving. Is on your “to do” list every time you’ve sex, though everytime it’ll be different - the position, the pace, the teasing if any.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Whatever pace makes you scream and moan the loudest is pretty much ideal for him.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.):
On some rare occasions you’ll have a quickie with him, and it will be very primal, fast and rough; you’ve to do something (pretty bad ;) ) to deserve this privilege. & he won’t even bother taking off your clothes; you’d most likely find youself against some wall in the darkser corner he could find, skirt up and panties around one of your ankles.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) :
Dares just between you two are something you’d do very often: One of his favourite was when he told you not to wear panties for a week, so everytime you were sitting on the same desk in any boring class, he would have his hand rested on your thigh and very often this hand would creep up and up your skirt and between your legs.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) :
Knows how to control himself pretty well, so when he’s close he’d pull out from you and tell you to suck him off for some time, or he’d tell you not to flinch and will bury his face in your core.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?):
For one of your birthdays you found a green box on your bed with a handwritten note attached “Put it on gently. Then wait for me”. You though it’d be some fancy velvet collar with a gem or something.
Well it did have a gem on it. But it was not a collar.
With some instructions, that’s pretty much how you found out butt plugs are actually quite fun.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) :
“You know you’re getting punished if you misbehave.”

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make) :
Sometimes he’s silent and his face and body are those to speak, other times he’s more vocal: “You’re my little dirty girl, aren’t you”, will pretty much say anything he can think of to make you blush and get all hot and bothered. 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) :
Sometimes because he’s never been too comfortable with pda, closeness in general, he’d wonder whether you know how much you actually mean to him, so out of the blue he’d tell you “I love you” or “You mean everything to me” or even “I’m sorry” and you’d know exacty what he ment by that “I know, I love you too” and hearing this, even seeing your understanding smile would be enough for him to know that, yes you know he loves you.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) :
Not very thinck, but longer than the average; has a lot of tricks up his sleeve.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?) :
Doesn’t need any special occasion to bend you over his desk or table or even his knee. Feels the most comfortable with himself after you had sex, or late at night with you sleeping by his side, in those moments he feels like his true self.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) :
Often stays awake for hours, his mind constantly running and in the small hours of the night he finds himself thinking about his fears, his strengths, his love.

anonymous asked:

Oh! Okay so boyband!Losers club with the badass Bev as their manager! What roles would each boy be? (Ex. Heartthrob, Bad Boy, Cute one, etc.) and imagine the shenanigans on the tour buses!!

- you can bet your ass mike is the heart throb like everyone would ADORE him because he’s the front man and he’d crowd surf and get fans on stage to sing with him and he’d hype them up so much

- ben is the cute one that every fan absolutely fawns over like he’s so sweet and always posts about meet and greets and that he loves his supporters more than anything

- stan would be the ‘mysterious’ member because he was usually pretty quiet and chill but when he was on stage he’d go OFF and do amazing solos and scream into the microphone because, apart from mike, he was the most passionate, also he writes all their music, hardcore rock or softer acoustic, and he has so many thoughts and feelings that go into the songs and it takes everyone’s breath away

- the bad boy would be richie, lets be real, he’d always wear all black and leather and wear eyeliner and just smirk all the time but in reality he’s a massive dork and loves star wars and pokemon and all the fans freaked OUT when eddie posted a snapchat of richie crying over han solo dying

- eddie would be the baby of the group that everyone, including the fandom, just wanted to protect because he was shy and didn’t say much in interviews but his snapchat stories pop OFF and the fans see so much behind the scenes because of him and they love it

- bill would be the prankster and be the viner of the group, he’d always piss the others off with his lame jokes that he can never finish because he’s already laughing so hard before even getting to the punch line

- bev would be the kickass girl manager that everyone looked up too and respected, the fandom would treat her like a queen and they were so for her and ben announcing they were together on instagram like there were literally fan edits and theories that they were together months before the reveal

- their tour bus would be a mess 24/7

- richie would always lean out the window of the bus and wave to fans even though the others are trying to drag him back inside

- bev wouldn’t stand for any of the boys shit and put them in their place 99% of the time

- the other 1% she’s encouraging them to do dumb shit

- bill would constantly pull pranks on mike because he slept EVERYWHERE and eddie would film the whole thing and you’d just hear them giggling the entire time

- ben would always post videos of them singing acoustic covers and just jamming in bill’s basement when they were on a break or writing more music

- the night they showcase their ‘edgier’ album stan is on lead vocals with richie, mike taking over on guitar, and everyone FREAKS OUT because they don’t expect stan to have such a powerful voice but bev is screaming along backstage and richie is harmonising with him so well like?? 

- eddie gets his first solo song and everyone nearly cries because its so good (just listen to transylvania by mcfly and try to imagine stan singing the verse’s and eddie the chorus with richie doing that kick ass guitar solo, ben killing it on drums, and bill and mike as back up vocalists, it’ll change your life)

“You’re Spider-Man.” (Peter x Reader)

Summary- You, Ned, and MJ tell Peter you know he’s Spider-Man, in his efforts to prove otherwise, Spider-Man visits you to tell you he isn’t Peter. You decide to have fun with this, and make Peter a little jealous of your feelings for Spider-Man.

A/N- I finally have my laptop working again so can actually write! This is a super light-hearted thing, I enjoyed writing it. Hope you like it! (Send me a request! Ask box is always open!)

Word count- 1680

You watch as Peter looks as if he’s really struggling to figure out how to get out of this study group with you, Ned and MJ. “Uh,” he starts, and you all turn to him, your eye brows risen, questioning him, “I got to go,” you all give a small nod and turn back to your work. He pushes his stuff from the table and into his bag in one smooth motion, he’s got good at that the past few months, practice does make perfect, he does this pretty much every day. “The internship, Mr Stark needs me.”

You nod, continuing with your chemistry questions, “Yep, okay Peter.”

“I’m sorry guys, the internship is just really important you know?” He pulls his bag to his shoulder as he stands up.

“You’re Spider-Man,” you say without looking up at him, you can hear Ned and MJ laugh slightly next to you and you smile. No time quite like the present to let him know you all know his secret. He stumbles back into his seat.

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sexy fantasy

Originally posted by hickey-aesthetic

pairings: dylan o’brien x reader; shelley hannig x tyler posey.

warnings: cursing, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, rough sex. the usual, peeps.

word count: 4,7k+

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Warding In Witchcraft


Wards are constructs, or entities that go through the process of wording a specific area that you set them up to watch over. This form of warding magick is also referred to some times as apotropaic magick, and our ways in which practitioners can turn away negative, or unwanted energies from an area, or space. Wards are like energetic guards that watch over an area. These wards will target whatever you intend them to, and will turn them away, force it out, or banish them from that area. Wards act as a form of protection to keep that space, or area safe from what is not wanted. Any space, object, or entity can be worded if you take the time to place one upon it. These Wards can be very complicated, or very simple depending upon what they are needed for. Wards can be set up for a period, but are primarily used when a construct, space, or entity needs to be protected for an extended period of time. Wards can also be cast whenever protection is needed, and will be able to provide protection for whatever they are warding. This is a very useful skill to learn, and get under your belt so that you can defend yourself, and the spaces around you with the power that you conjure forth with your magick.

Difference between warding, and shielding:

Warding, and shielding are two different things. Warding being the act of pushing away specific unwanted energies, and entities, so that they will not be able to enter the perimeter, or be in the area. Where the active shielding is simply setting up a wall in order to stop unwanted energies, and entities from penetrating the perimeter. Shielding is like building a wall between you, and the outside world and warding is like putting guards at that wall. These processes are usually done together, but do not have to be, and are completely exclusive to their practices.

Maintaining wards:

These wards will have to be maintained through the act of checking over them, recharging them, and/or reconstructing them when they have been in use for a long time, or have been used constantly. These wards will need energy in order to continue doing their job, so finding a source of energy to connect to the wards will allow them to recharge, and continue to work. This is because they will have an energy source to draw energy from when they get low. Try using an energy source that is renewable, and comes from a process that inherently exists. This will allow your ward to continue on working even when you are not there to give it energy. Using only your own energy to power your wards can leave you fatigued, and allow you to fall into energetic burnout, so remember to know your limits, and to not simply rely on your energy. Find other energy sources that you can use in order to power your wards. In order to connect these other energy sources all you must do is go to the ward in question, and take them in your hand, or place your hand on to them, and relay your intentions through your energy, so that the ward knows where to draw from. You could also go through the act of drawing an energetic line of energy between the source of energy, and the ward in order to allow that source of energy to power the ward. Good energy sources would be such things as quartz crystals, selenite, or any other high energy vibrational stone, along with candles, energy sigils, sunlight, moonlight, and storm energy, among many other things. It is important that your wards are maintained, and get the energy that they need or else they will not be able to work properly, and will eventually go down.

What to ward against, and ward placement:

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I swear I wasn’t putting this off. I love Jack with all my heart, but like Maddie, I had trouble figuring out where to start. Jack’s a pretty simple man who handles all situations in pretty much the same way, which is the opposite of his wife, but because of that, he’s often underestimated and treated like a brainless idiot.

I’ve noticed that even Maddie sometimes sees him as less than competent, even though she loves him.

(She gives him a cookie to keep him out of her way while she works. She doesn’t mean anything by it, and she loves him with all of her heart, but she doesn’t think he can do much to help.)

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onlyjihoons  asked:

50;mark please!♡♡

prompt: 50. “I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”

Off guard  | MARK

summary: even the coolest NYC hero gets to fall in love with a pretty smile.

genre: spider man!au | slightly florist!reader | super super fluff (like 1000%)

pairing: mark lee / reader

word count: 2.7k

Originally posted by dimplesjae

a/n: this is a draft i wrote for another writing blog (i’ll be posting there too anyway) but i really thought you’d like it :)) i really hope you do!!! ((though i’ve started another spider man au with mark and i intend to dedicate it to you because this prompt inspired me ^^)) ah!! lowkey inspired by spider-man homecoming i love tom holland so i hope this is at least good ^~^

First encounters are not always very magical, neither are they like we dreamt.

When Mark Lee first landed his eyes on the hysterical form of you, there were paper sheets flying over the wind and a very frustrated body running from one side to other of the street, aimlessly trying to gather as much documents as your hands could hold—and to be at least honest, you could not pick even three of them. You wheezed, annoyed by the fact that your chemistry essay was vanishing from your vision and traveling to a place very far away from where you were.

That, you thought, was my only salvation. Without that piece of work you would probably fail the subject—considering that the essay was a component for the last test you’d to take (to be exact: 40% of your mark depended on that stupid assignment). You sighed; you’d have to manage the entire night for that, making the whole thing again.

Mark shifted the weight of his body and gulped—Haechan (his friend) rolled his eyes, completely aware of his friend’s new-born platonic love—he peeked a paper close to where he was standing, and with all courage he had ever had inside his physique Mark took his way to you. To Haechan’s eyes his actions were clumsy and his words sounded like whisper and made no sense at all. He remembered how Mark had been when Liz was still around and how he had heart eyes over her—it was annoying.

Haechan called Mark once, warning him to just let the thing go, after all they still had to go to class, but the brunette boy simply ignored his friend’s cries.

Mark touched your shoulder. “Hum, excuse me.”

You turned your body to face the him. “Ah, yes?”

“I guess,” he said, stuttering “I guess this belongs to you” Mark handed you the paper.

“Thank you” you gave him the sweetest smile you could.

You didn’t know, but Mark Lee melted under you gaze, completely amused by the beautiful sight of you and your smile. He had never seen you before that day, but he’s utterly sure you were the most gorgeous girl in the universe; not only because your eyes were almost closed when you smiled, neither because your perfume was a mixture of lilies and mint—which made Mark feel a little dizzy due to the dulcet scent—but yet because you showed him the purest reaction he had ever expected.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

how much can each villainous crew drink i am talking kegs worth much of beer

Black Hat - It takes approximately a kiddie pool-worth of alcohol to get him properly drunk. So let’s do some math. An average kiddie pool is about 22 gallons. A keg is 15.5 gallons. Therefore, it takes 1.42 kegs to get him buzzed.

That’s 234.1 drinks in a single night. That would kill a human.

Dr. Flug - Flug probably has an average alcohol tolerance, owed in part to his German heritage (people descending from parts of Europe often have higher alcohol tolerances) balanced out by his low weight (a lighter person gets drunk quicker, and Flug looks pretty skinny.) But man, he drinks to forget. Whenever his boss is lenient enough to let his employees revel in their success, Flug takes the opportunity to chug as much as he can, as quick as he can. (It’s how he copes. Just let him have this.)

Dementia - Honestly she can drink anything. Fruity cocktails, hard vodka, motor oil, mayonnaise– BH has attempted to poison her on multiple occasions, resulting in her developing immunities to a wide variety of substances. She likes to challenge Flug to drinking games though, just because it’s fun to drink him under the table.

5.0.5 is a bear. Do not give him alcohol. That is irresponsible. (Which in other words, means BH has tried to make him drink it, just to see what would happen. 5.0.5 spat it out as soon as he tasted it.)

Superhero AU kids edition

So basically if everyone was a superhero…

Lucien: can control light and darkness ( @definitely-not-lucien I don’t remember your naaammmeee)

Ernest: either can control body odor and is Stink Man, or can feel the emotions/hear the thoughts of everyone around him and is Angst Man

Carmensita: can control sound waves and manipulate them to do pretty much anything (think black canary but with more range) name something like Siren Sing

Amanda: can create pocket dimensions at will. Uses art and photography to harness it.

Daisy: super strong and can communicate with animals.

Cahn twins: super speed and agility, more powerful together. Think Mas y menos from Teen Titans.

Val: pretty much Wolverine without amnesia.

Christiansen twins: telepathy and telekinesis

Chris: not sure yet.

Crish: invisability, unable to control power.

Did i get everything? @definitely-not-lucien @e-vega420 @sensibly-daisy @amanda-panda-ann @momlostcrishagain @askvalsmall @thecahndygrams

anonymous asked:

Hellooooo!! Could I request 707 touching himself whilst watching the MC on the cameras in Rika's apartment? Bonus points if she isn't doing anything sexy... Maybe just folding laundry lololololol thank you!!!

you hvae no idea how bad i have it for this man please just end me now it’ll be less painful

(also another disclaimer that i have NOT played through seven’s route fully yet, so i’ll be using ‘Seven’ to refer to him to avoid confuzzlings, no spoilers, and usual apologies for continuity issues, etc♥♥ also this is set DURING Seven’s route, pretty early on… M/C knows nothing)  (ц`ω´ц*) 

“There’s only so much work I can do…”

Seven was beat, his cheek resting against his desk in a sign of sure defeat. There was no way he could do more work. Nuh-uh. Not today. He couldn’t even remember what sleeping felt like… That definitely wasn’t normal. If he had to guess by the bottles scattered across - and spilling over - his desk, he must’ve been up for at least thirty hours. Probably more.

Definitely more. Thirty hours is, like, a normal day. It’s a short day. It’s a good day.

If you were here, you’d be mad as hell - you seemed to hate it when he pushed himself to go without sleep, or proper food, even though you really had no reason to care for him. Seven winced at the all the snack packaging, also dispersed messily across his desk and floor.

Yeah, I’m a dead man. 

In fact, he hadn’t checked on you in a while… Not that he was always checking on you. 


Well - he needed to make sure you were safe, right? Even if it was just a quick glance every other hour… Or minute. He refused to accept that the glances at the monitor to double-check your safety were anything more than that - for your safety.

Or her butt.

Safety. Pulling himself up from the desk with a groan, Seven re-directed his attention from the wall of code in front of him to the other monitor; the one he now kept permanently on the cameras installed in Rika’s apartment. He still hadn’t had the time to set up cameras in many places - his current vision was good enough, anyway.

Mmm-hm. Good enough is one way to put it.

You weren’t doing anything out of the ordinary - a pile of letters and factsheets lay on your desk beside the computer, where you sat, eyes focused on the screen. Seven found you unusually calming to watch - when you weren’t working, you spent most of your time doing chores around the house, or browsing the internet. Or, as you seemed to be doing now, cooking. He hadn’t clocked the apron before you stood up, but now, he realised that you must’ve been taking a break whilst your dish cooked.

That is adorable.

Knowing that you had no clue that he was watching your every move with eagle eyes made Seven’s mind race. The things, oh, the things he could see you do if he insisted on installing more cameras. But, this was more than enough. He couldn’t even focus on work, knowing that you were right there. Sitting. Drinking tea. Reading. Cooking.

You’re going insane, dude.

“Ugh…” At least he was on his own, now. Now… Maybe he could find another way of focusing? Or… At least, get rid of one of the things that was now distracting him. Maybe it was because he was so starved of stimulation normally, but watching you, even as you reached for the knives to cut up the carrots you were holding– was he really wishing he was a carrot, right now?– had Seven inexplicably, but very noticeably, horny as hell. It wasn’t like he was going to catch feelings for you. You didn’t deserve that, and he didn’t need the added hassle in his life - not now. But there was nothing wrong with… Relieving himself, right? You were distracting him, after all. And… He had work to do. And you… You were just doing things to him.

Before he could even stop himself, Seven was palming his cock through his trousers, fully aware that, if he wasn’t before, he was definitely sinning now. But if being a dirty, dirty sinner felt this good, he would happily spend the rest of his life eating crap and jerking off to a woman he barely knew. A woman he said he was protecting. A woman who had no idea that he was rock hard, watching her chop up vegetables.

“Ah, fuck…” His hands were acting on their own, tugging down his zipper, jerking down his pants just enough to allow him to touch himself freely as his eyes remained trained on the monitor. It was almost laughable, really - he was jerking off to you, a woman he had known for a grand total of five days, making your dinner, as though it were some top-grade fantasy porn. But hell, if he wasn’t enjoying it…

It hadn’t taken him long to stroke himself until he was fully hard, the head of his cock engorged and red - it had been quite some time since he last had the chance to take care of himself like this, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to fully appreciate his alone time. His other hand crept down to manoeuvre around his trousers and pants to fondle his balls, the added stimulation making his cock twitch in his hand.

Every little move you made was enticing him further and further; whether it was vaguely sexual, like when you pushed that drawer closed with your butt, or not, like how you were peeling potatoes now, Seven was enraptured. His mind was utterly fixated on you, and he had no problem with that - hell, this was the most focused he’d managed to get since you’d turned up. Admittedly, he was definitely not focused on work, but still…

Seven’s chest was heaving as his breathing became rapid - he took his time, massaging his throbbing shaft in all the right places to make him feel as though he were about to burst, but stopping before he could actually push himself over the edge. His cock was leaking precum so profusely now he didn’t even need to worry about chafing; he could just keep on going, running his thumb around the very tip of his cock, dipping into the pearly beads that leaked from it. 

Honestly, had he not been keenly aware of the fact that he didn’t have all day, Seven was sure he could’ve kept at it for hours - pushing himself almost to the point of no return, before allowing himself to fall straight back down to where he was before. He wasn’t even bothering to hold his voice back, groaning softly as his hips rutted into his hand, seeking more friction as he murmured your name, still watching your figure on the screen. At least you had stayed in the kitchen - having to change the camera angle with both hands down his pants would’ve been difficult, to say the least.

“Oh my- No, don’t- Don’t!” He couldn’t stop himself now - you had been facing away from the camera this whole time, and, as stupid as it was, it had comforted Seven somewhat knowing that you weren’t even slightly aware of his presence. Just as you turned to face the camera, the lens caught your eye. And just as you looked straight down that camera, Seven felt himself finally tip over the edge, crying out in ecstasy as he felt his seed shoot out of his cock, likely making a mess of his hoodie. He couldn’t bring himself to care, though, as he rode out the wave of pleasure looking directly into your eyes through the monitor - he couldn’t look away, even if he wanted to, hips jerking haphazardly as the last few spurts of his cum marked his clothing.

He was breathless, stunned, and utterly fulfilled. His cock was still twitching, and he felt that familiar knot in the pit of his stomach unravel itself as he took his hands off himself, shoving his glasses back up the bridge of his nose as he finally took his eyes off the screen, allowing his lids to slide shut. Seven thought he could get used to this. Lying around in the afterglow, all fuzzy from satisfaction, he could just envisage your warm, soft body right there–

“Woah- Shit!” Seven nearly toppled out of his chair as his phone’s ringtone blared, the screen lighting up. At least he wasn’t daydreaming, anymore… “Huh.” It was you calling. “What a happy coincidence…” Although still feeling somewhat rotten from what he had just done, Seven reached for the phone, albeit not before tucking himself away, and despairing at his now soiled clothing. Clearing his throat, he answered the call.

“Hello? I’m meditating right now…”


Eisuke Ichinomiya x MC

Request from Anon: Hi! Could you do #16 with Eisuke please?
Prompt: “What do you want me to do??” “GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK!”
Warnings: Angst

The penthouse suite was silent as I sat on the oversized bed, waiting for the owner of the bed to come back. The owner of the hotel. The owner of me. He had left a few hours ago, claiming he had business to attend to, and I hadn’t heard anything from him since. I wasn’t sure how many hours he had been gone, it could range from two to four hours, but my mind was too clouded of thoughts about him to take notice of the clock. Everything I did in my life was for Eisuke Ichinomiya, he is in my life so much that even when he’s not with me he’s stuck in my mind. Which I’m positive is his doing, he can do pretty much anything you can imagine. Money and power gives him the ability to control nearly every aspect of his own life and those around him. I wonder what business he is doing, he very rarely tells me where he’s going or what he is planning. Its most probably illegal but I have resigned myself to the fact most of the things he and the other auction managers do are illegal. My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the bedroom door opening and closing, I glance up and see the man whose riddled in my thoughts looking at me with a blank expression on his face.

He strode over to the bed, stopping in front of me and taking my chin in his hand, lifting it up so that we made eye contact.
“Why didn’t you answer my phone calls?” His voice was harsh, making his words sound cut throat. I let out a soft sigh, glancing over at my phone sitting on his bedside table.

“I fell asleep…” I lie, the truth was, I didn’t want to talk to him. Before he had left we had argued over a dress he had picked out for me to wear to the next I.V.C. I hate the dress but he argues that it’s not up to me to love it or hate it, I must wear it.

“That’s not good enough. You know you must answer within 3 rings when I call you.” He narrowed his eyes at me and his lips curled up into a small smirk. “You need to be punished. But I’m feeling kind. So, I will allow you to tell me where you want me to touch you first.” He let go of my chin and shrugged off his suit jacket, throwing it onto the chair beside the bed. I let out a sigh, closing my eyes to avoid tears spilling onto my cheeks. This is not what I want to happen. For months on end now, Eisuke has been using me as his toy with the excuse that he owns me. I have no idea if he cares for me or not, which is driving me insane. Yes, he treats me well sometimes, and he’s never physically hurt me. But sometimes hurting someone mentally and emotionally can be worse than harming them physically. My silence had annoyed him, and he clicked his tongue impatiently. “___ Hurry up and answer me. What do you want me to do?” This tipped me over the edge, and I couldn’t hold onto my feelings or my tears anymore, both slipping out.

“GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK!” My words came out louder than I anticipated, tears rolling down my cheeks leaving a cold sensation in their path. I was surprised to see Eisuke flinch at my outburst, not having suspected that something like that would surprise the cold heart man. His eyebrows pulled together in a frown and he took a step away from me.

“Give me back the 20 million I spent on you and I will give you your life back.” He growled, turning on his heel and storming over to the door, walking through it and slamming it behind him.

Your hands came up to your face, soft sobs falling against your palms trying to mask the sounds of your broken heart. You couldn’t help it when you fell in love with him, but you also couldn’t help wishing that you had never been sold at that auction. You often wondered what your life would have been like had you chosen one of the other auction managers to have bought you when you had the option. Your hands came down from your face and you watched the door, hoping that the man you loved would come back through the door any minute now. You wanted to stay with him but the emotional turmoil he put you through wasn’t worth it. Little did you know that Eisuke’s heart had broken in two when you had snapped at him, asking for your life to be given back to you. His love for you was something he could never show you, him not knowing how to love someone without hurting them. He sat down on the couch in the living room, putting his head in his hands. The question playing on his mind whether he should let you go. Keeping you meant hurting you more, letting you go meant hurting himself more. For once the man who could do anything, didn’t have an answer for his problem.