this makes me want to set myself on fire

Me next week:
  • (Monday) Me, softly: Can you hear my heartbeat? Tired of feeling, never enough. I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true…
  • (Tuesday) Me, screaming: THERE’LL BE NO MORE DARKNESS WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE.
  • (Wednesday) Me, sobbing while singing very softly: Where your destiny lies… Dancing on the blades, you set my heart on fire… Can’t stop us now, the moment of truth we were born to make history…

anonymous asked:

What's your favorite kitchen utensil? (Spork, knife, whisk, etc.)

I will be truthful with you. My favourite kitchen utensil is a kiwi spoon. 

Mostly because I CAN’T COOK. Seriously, if I lived alone I’d probably die of malnutrition. (Or accidentally set myself on fire.🔥)

((You have no idea how happy these questions make me. Like, who wants to know this?!))

  • Mentally healthy person: have u tried meditating, it always makes me feel better
  • Me: if I am alone with my Thoughts too long I always want to set myself On Fire

Fratboy!Ashton who sits slumped in the back of the classroom, never participating in any of the lessons yet he somehow manages to get perfect scores meanwhile you’re struggling to keep up with some new material so on the way out of the class he stops you and says “nine; east dorm” before walking out of class towards his frat brothers who clap him on the back before they walk away

Ellie Goulding sentence starters
  • "You're the only thing I wanna touch."
  • "What are you waiting for?"
  • "I'll let you set the pace."
  • "It's a little dirty how the whole thing started."
  • "Thought that you were cute and you could make me jealous."
  • "You wanted my heart but I just liked your tattoos."
  • "Let's join forces."
  • "I know you've been burned, but every fire is a lesson learned."
  • "You're so worth it, you are."
  • "I wish I could be it all for you."
  • "Everybody's starry-eyed."
  • "Who are we to play with hearts and throw away it all?"
  • "I don't like the way I never listen to myself."
  • "I feel like I'm on fire, I'm too shy to cry for help."
  • "I don't think you know me much at all."
  • "This love will be your downfall."
  • "Who am I to choose the boy that everyone adores?"
  • "You set your sights on him."
  • "I've seen you in a fight; you lost."
  • "We're in a mess, babe."
  • "I'd rather pretend I'll still be there at the end."
  • "I don't ask for much."
  • "Maybe we forgot all the things we are together."
  • "I really thought that we'd go further."
  • "I'm tired of trying to keep you."
  • "You won't see me again."
  • "I wish I stayed."
  • "It's a shame you don't know what you're running from."
  • "You know this is your biggest mistake."
  • "Reassure me that you'll wait for me as long as it takes."
  • "You are the risk I'll always take."
  • "Tell me that we're still too young and I'll hold my tongue."
  • "That is no way to love."
  • "You're as bright as the sun and as calm as the moon."
  • "I don't know when you'll break, but it's gonna be soon."
  • "I won't tell the truth unless you want me to."
  • "I am so scared of what will kill me in the end."
  • "I hope I will get the chance to be someone."
  • "I'm trying not to lose my faith in you."
  • "I used to hear it all so loud, the sound of my heart breaking."
  • "I can take anything."
  • "This will always be my home."
  • "We are seventeen, we have just begun."
  • "I want to fall in love with you again."
  • "You can't make it right when it's wrong."
  • "Don't let it slip through your fingertips."
  • "We've only ever touched when there's no one else around."
  • "I'm not being intrusive, I just wish I knew the truth."
  • "I think about you more than I think one should."
  • "I'm making up for lost time."
  • "Trying to impress you, but lord I don't know how."
  • "I'm more alive I've ever been."
  • "I've chosen you."
  • "That feeling that doesn't go away just did."
  • "Anything could happen."
  • "After the war we said we'd fight together."
  • "I'll give you everything you need."
  • "I don't think I need you."
  • "I know you better than I ever have before."
  • "I know you're a fighter, but you never fought for me."
  • "We could be closer."
  • "You show me what it feels like to be lonely."
  • "It's gonna be better."
  • "Still not too old to die young."
  • "Lovers hold on to everything, and lovers hold on to anything."
  • "I need you more than I can take."
  • "You promise forever and a day, and then you take it all away."
  • "I've figured out that joy is not in your arms."
  • "I know I'll always ache with an empty heart."
  • "Tell me if you feel this pain."
  • "I just can't keep hanging on to you and me."
  • "I barely even know this fucking woman in my bed."
  • "You trembled like you'd seen a ghost."
  • "I lacked the things you need the most."
  • "I've loved and I've lost."
  • "It's okay to be afraid."
  • "It will never be the same."
  • "The rules you set are still untold to me."
  • "I've lost my faith in everything."
  • "I know you better than you think."
  • "You were like home to me."
  • "Please don't close your eyes, don't know where to look without them."
  • "I know you care, I know it has always been there."
  • "There's trouble ahead, I can feel it."
  • "You are just saving yourself when you hide it."
  • "It wasn't always wrong."
  • "Now I don't warm my hands in your coat, but I still hope."
  • "This is how things ought to have been."
  • "Why can't I dream?"
  • "I know you care, I see it in the way you stare."
  • "There was trouble ahead and you knew it."
  • "I'll be saving myself from the ruin."
  • "This is new."
  • "I've never met anyone like you."
  • "I'll wait for you... maybe."
  • "I know I'm fooled, I can't help it."
  • "You make my heart so helpless."
  • "Where did you go?"
  • "I need to be free with you tonight."
  • "I know you're there but I can't see you anymore."
  • "I've been a stranger ever since we fell apart."
  • "I know I’ve sinned."
  • "Sooner or later, I'll be on my own."
  • "I think I've been waiting for this all my life."
  • "I’m living on the wild side."
  • "It feels like we’re dreaming."
  • "We’ll be this way forever."
  • "I wanna hold you close, I just never wanna hold you tight."
  • "You are my only hope."
  • "I know you don't feel the same."
  • "You're sensible but it doesn't make sense."
  • "You know I'm gonna try much harder."
  • "Have you lost the same things I have lost?"
  • "I wish time was still, we'd stay right here with time to kill."
  • "You left everything behind except yourself."
  • "All I see is question marks and nothing else."
  • "You must have landed in New York by now."
  • "Please don't bring this love down."
  • "I'll never forget that feeling when I watched you disappear, when you made me stop believing."
  • "Do you remember boy when you were so cruel? When you played the thief and I played the fool."
  • "You think I’m still broken-hearted, but you will never win the war you started."
  • "How long will I be with you?"
  • "Everything I touch turns to gold."
  • "Baby, let me touch your body and your soul."

anonymous asked:

📖

i just saw this sorry b….this is a dumb story but when i was in uni housing at manchester the campus was literally infested with squirrels and even though we lived on like the sixth floor there were massive trees so they could climb! and ppl would like take pics of the squirrels outside their windows or even like on their desks and shit it became kind of like the campus meme but i have this not exactly phobia of squirrels they just freak me out bcus in elementary school some kid told me that if u touch a squirrel u get rabies which i think (?) is false but im still 👀👀👀👀

ANYWAY so im like desperately trying to avoid make these squirrels and one night i come home at like 3am and feel like hummus n pita so i like toast myself some pita and our toaster is totally fucked up and i dont want to be the dickhead that sets off the fire alarm at 3am so i prop open all the windows right? so im like half asleep on my phone and then i look up and this fucking squirrel is like three inches from my plate of pita on the counter making its demon squirrel noises and i freaked the fuck out and like ran back to my room and when i came out the little shit had stolen my pita i had to throw away that whole tub of hummus bcus i had no idea what mightve been done to it #️⃣rip

This is my selfish year. This is the year I stop giving up on the things I want just to make others happy. This is the year I stop minimizing my feelings and keeping quiet to protect others. This is the year I do what makes me happy and I choose to live the life that will make me happy. I’ve done enough for the sake of others. This year I stop swimming across oceans for people who won’t even jump over a puddle for me. This is the year I stop setting myself on fire to keep everyone warm. This is the year I do exactly what I want and if anyone has a problem with that they are free to walk out of my life. If the past two years has taught me anything it’s that even if I lose people who mean the world to me I will survive and I will keep going no matter how hard it gets. 2015- the year of me- the selfish year.
— 

~Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #124

01/16/2015

5:36 pm

More sad Kanda thoughts (ft. Allen)

So I’ve been thinking a lot about Kanda’s ‘proper chat’ that he wants to have with Allen.

I’m thinking it might end up going something like this: “You’re my friend. Don’t make me kill you.”

See, Kanda does indeed have friends, but he never talks about it. His brand of affection and encouragement pretty much amounts to bickering and sniping–he poked fun at Lenalee when he knew that she had been crying because she’ll forget to feel sad if she’s busy being pissed at him, he kicked/cursed Komui out to help him get it together during the Level 4 attack, he yells at people while simultaneously saving them, etc.

Anyways, I don’t think he’s ever outright called somebody his friend. I bet he didn’t even say that to Alma. Granted, it doesn’t mean he cares any less about his friends just because he doesn’t say it out loud. But. I bet when Alma died the first time, Kanda wished he would have said it at least once. Alma was always very open and friendly to Kanda, and maybe some part of Kanda worried that Alma never knew for certain that he felt the same way.

Allen’s a bit like Alma in the sense that he lets his friends know what they mean to him explicitly; he even called Kanda his friend out loud once back in the Ark (though technically it wasn’t to Kanda’s face). And for all their fighting, it goes both ways.

Now there’s a chance that Allen is going to get erased by the 14th. Allen promised it wouldn’t happen, but at this point, it’s not a sure thing. More than anyone, Kanda has accepted Allen’s wish to be destroyed if he can’t hold out–and it really is a great gesture of friendship, even if it’s hard to swallow, helping Allen preserve his agency by preventing someone else from using his body to do evil.

However you slice it, though, Kanda may well have to kill one of his friends. Again.

Maybe some part of him worries that Allen is gonna think, well, after all this time, looks like Kanda’s gonna get his wish of killing me after all. Good for him.

Maybe the thing that Kanda is so determined to tell Allen is that they’re friends, even if he’s never said so, even if they fight all the time. And Kanda, as his friend, will respect his wishes and kill him if he becomes the 14th–but he’s counting on Allen to win. Kanda doesn’t want to kill another person who’s important to him.

As for Allen, he might have a retort on the tip of his tongue–as if i’d let you kill me, or give me some credit, stupid–because that’s how their conversations are supposed to go. But I’m betting he’ll know that this time is different, so he’ll reply, “Thank-you, Kanda.”

(This is, of course, assuming that Allen isn’t gone already and that Kanda won’t be mistakenly telling all this to the 14th–who would probably laugh in his face. But let’s not think about that.)