this makes me smile and cry

Sometimes people really need to understand that you can’t control your feelings. That when you start crying, you were already trying your best to keep the tears inside, and it’s not easy to stop, it’s not even possible. “Come on, make an effort, show me a smile” no, no, no, no, it doesn’t work like that. This kind of behavior makes everything worst for the person crying.

shout out to smosh for working so hard and putting so much effort into everything they do. shout out to smosh for being with us for about 10 years and making us laugh. shout out to smosh for always making me smile and making my day brighter no matter what. shout out to smosh for all their successes, like the movie, 20 mil subscribers, the awards, and the wax figures. shout out to smsoh for saving so many people’s lives (including mine). shout out to smosh for everything they do.

shout out to smosh, i love you guys.

Happy birthday Baekhyun!

Today is the day that Baekhyun turns 23 (or 24 whatever you want to use). I want him to stay 22 forever because I never want him to stop being young and stop being in exo, but of course all things come to a end. Baekhyun makes my day and has always made me happy for almost a year now. He cheers me up literally any time I see his smile and I hope one day to meet him. Of course I do have people who actually know of my existence that make me happy too, but this is a thank you to him. I hope that no matter how old Baekhyun gets that he will always be the little energetic puppy I know. I hope he keeps making people happy till he dies, and I hope that he will leave a mark on the world because he really does deserve it for all the hard work he puts into every performance. Please stay young and happy Baekhyun! Happy birthday pup pup! Love you!

it’s 11:11 and I’m wishing you’d come back to me. I know things got hard and we weren’t really use to that. I mean you can’t deny we had a pretty perfect run. I guess it was too hard for you and I wasn’t great enough to hold on to. I love you and I think about you. I haven’t cried since I wanted to kill myself so I guess I made progress. I’m crying now though but I want to be alive. I watch our videos and see that dopey smile on your face that lit my whole fucking world and I don’t understand how I managed to make it fade. I still love you and care for you. I normally think I don’t but it’s time like this where I realize I do. at least I hope it’s an illusion. I miss everything. I miss you always calling me annoying after I scared the shit out of you. I miss crying to each other on Sunday afternoons because we both didn’t want to part. I miss making out after football games. I miss holding your hand. I miss making fun of your stubby toes and chubby ass fingers that I grew to love. I miss you coming over and bonding with my family and I. I miss talking about how happy I was with you to my mother. I miss listening to 2000 RnB on pandora and singing our hearts out and you chest bumping with one hand on the wheel. I miss your happiness. you were so happy man. I made you so happy. we would talk while holding hands. talk while kissing. talk with you in my lap with my hands in the opening of your shorts without it even being sexual. we just constantly needed that closeness. we were so damn addicted to each other. I was so addicted to you and with the way you looked at me I knew it was just the same. you were so damn beautiful. I could literally pinpoint every mother fucking detail about you well actually I can. like your hair and how it only parted a certain way and if even a strand was misplaced you looked different. how your eyelashes always had to be perfectly parted or you’d go nuts and do your mascara all over again. how your hairs on your eyebrow would mess up so I’d have to grab them and a line them. how your top lip was ¼ the size of your bottom. how your cheekbones were always high especially when I was making you smile so wide and laugh so hard. how your nose had that whole Cindy loo hoo look to it and I fucking adored it. how your almond shaped eyes were so blue when you cried and I only noticed when you actually let me see. fuck man you were so damn beautiful and I’ll never get the imagine of you singing or laughing or smiling at me out of my god damn head. everytime you laughed you had this habit of shutting your eyes and putting your hand to your mouth but all I wanted to do was kiss you. I remember the first time I kissed you like it happened an hour ago. I remember exactly how I felt and how I didn’t want to stop because kissing you wasn’t like kissing any other girl. you weren’t just any other girl. I fell for you so fast but the best part was it was mutual our love was so mutual and so pure. I hate that it’s over, I do. it kills me I swear it does i’m just not allowing it to. but it’s times like this where I’m replaying all these moments and how we first met and how there wasn’t a single negative vibe I felt when I got into your car and you thought you looked like shit because you just got back from a water park. if I could redo this over and over and still go through the month of pain over and over, I would. my mom warned me she said it would hurt and it does but damn your love was worth it and I told you that in the beginning. that I thought love was scary but I knew having my heart broken by you was worth it. at least I hope it is.
—  j.n.

Happy Birthday  Baekhyun!!

Ah I have so much to say, but first I want to say Happy 24th birthday and I hope you’re having the best day. I want you to smile and be happy okay? Well here come the tears haha, ah Baekhyunnie, I want you to know that you make me so happy. Every time I see you, I smile and you are the first person to ever make me do that. You’ve been on my mind 24/7 for the past 2 years and I can’t seem to get you off of it. I still remember the day I fell in love with you. I was watching this video, and I was really listening to your voice, it is so beautiful. So so beautiful. I really cant put it into words in how much I love hearing you sing. Or even how much I love you as a person. You make me smile, laugh , cry and more importantly, you make me happy. You make me feel like I am not alone in this world. You do. And gosh, I just love you so much my heart hurts. But its a good hurt. I feel so lucky just to be able to live on this earth with you. You may be thousands of miles away, but I can feel you in my heart.  I love every bit of you. Your hair, your smile, your eyes and your pretty fingers and more. I love all of you. Your personality being first. You’re so beautiful in so many ways, I hope you know that.

I just want you to be happy, I want you to smile. I want you to be you. Because you, I fell in love with you. I’ve grown a really deep attachment to you over the past 2 years and I don’t regret it at all. Every morning when I wake up, I post a good morning message to your instagram, hoping you’ll see it and hoping you’ll have a good day. Every night when I’m about to sleep, I say goodnight to you on instagram, hoping that you’ll get a lot of rest. I just want what’s best for you. I want your happiness to be real.

Thank you. Thank you for everything you have given us. Thank you for the smiles, the songs, the dedication and even the tears. Because I know how much you love us. I know how much you care. Because we love you too, we care about you too. We want you to be happy. Because you make us happy. I know you care about the members too, and I admire that a lot.  When I first found exo , I wasn’t in a great place. And you saved me.You’re my angel. You save me everyday. When I can feel a frown tugging at my face, I just hear you sing and the frown turns upside down ahha. Just whenever I see you smile, I smile. I want to thank you for that. Thank you for making me a happier person. Thank you. Just thank you. Thank you for the kindness you give.

Last but not least, Byun Baekhyun, no matter where you are, no matter what you do. I will always be beside you, supporting you, and loving you. You mean so much more than the world to me.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

Happy Birthday Baekhyun, I love you.

anonymous asked:

Good. I'm glad my pain and suffering is so entertaining for you! I'm so happy that making me cry naked in the corner whilst questioning my existence has made you smile. Thank you so much for picking on me.

😂😂 bruh stop acting

happy  birthday, byun baekhyun! ♡

baekhyun, you mean the world to me and so many others. exo has been through many hardships and have come back stronger than ever despite them, and your infectious smiles have helped everyone heal. you always try to be cheerful and smile even when you want to cry, and it means so much to everyone. stay strong, and make sure to take care of yourself. you often apologize and promise to be better but honestly, you’re wonderful just the way you are. so as you turn 23/24, I hope that the sadness and tragedies of the past year are left as nothing but memories, and that in this new era you find success and happiness. you are beautiful, and you deserve the world. I may not be able to say any of this to you in person, and you won’t ever see this, but I want you to know above all that I love you with all of my heart and I sincerely wish you have an incredible day. to another year full of good health and laughter, happy birthday baekhyun! ♡♡♡

paladinking asked:

sending so much admiration to you! Positivity is hard to find sometimes and I believe that you're probably one the nicest people I've seen on my dash lately! Your Cullen is great and I adore the characterization you've brought to him! But you don't need me to dote on you all day-- but know that I appreciate your optimism on my dash day in and day!

     forces. i’m going to cry rn bc i adore you so much and this!!! message brought the biggest smile to my face and i just. i hope you don’t mind me posting this bc i wanna keep it f o r e v e r. ; u ; 

                  tumblr is too negative. we need more positivism. it’s kinda ridic, imo. plus i’m really tired of being number one arsehole. being nice is so much easier than needing to blacklist ever person that makes you feel a tiny bit on edge ( at one point i think i even had mun names lmao ) and feeling anxious when certain things slip by? the moment you just let go and realize you don’t need handicaps like that? everything is so easy.  

                  for example: tumblr users had actually attacked me with my own name once. i couldn’t use my birth given name bc of some people here. the moment i let the hate that i had simmering for them and they way they used my name so casually as if they knew me go– that moment i could proudly say, ‘ yeah, just call me em. ‘ it was a freeing experience i could probably never explain beyond complete and utter relief– but letting go makes it so easy to just be happy. holding on to skeletons weighs you down. life is too short for that shite.

                  – but there are also people like you that make being positive so easy. you’re a bloody doll, okay? 

                  i hope you have a wonderful day, mon ami. u w u < 3