this makes me feel like such a failure

anonymous asked:

hi.. d'you have any tips for getting over fear of failure? i sit for some really important exams next month and i'm studying adequately (i hope), hoping to get a good result. but sometimes my own expectations scare me, like, what if i don't get phenomenal results like i want to? won't the disappointment be crushing? is studying even worth it? and so on. i know i shouldn't feel this way but i can't help it. really appreciate all the help xx

Hey there :-) Here are a couple of things that might help ease your mind:

  • stop making excuses and start doing - you’re probably in a cycle of wanting to do better but when it comes to actually trying, you’re either just lost or don’t feel like you can. Find small ways to be more productive - whether that be tidying up your desk, organising what you need to do, putting your work in order. If you get into a routine during each study session, you’ll find it a lot easier to stay motivated.
  • identify your doubts and learn to ease them - you’re going to be thinking “I can’t do this”, “I’m going to fail”, or “this is too hard” and that is totally understandable. Instead. you should think “I can’t do it yet but there is nothing stopping me from trying”, “if I fail, I’ll figure out why and try again”, or “I’m motivated to figure out this tricky thing”. If you can change your doubts around into positive opportunities to learn, you’ll be in a better mindset for studying.
  • make an inspiring and positive work environment - if you’re sitting at a desk that doesn’t inspire you to work then you might find getting that extra motivation tricky. On your desk, you should have out things that will help you study like pens, post-it notes, motivational quotes, etc! If you wanted to you could check out my ‘motivational monday’ printables. They’re free to download and you can stick them up on your wall to help you stay positive about your studies!
  • remember your previous successes - I’m sure you’ve had many awesome achievements in your life and they’re so important to remember. It’s so easy to forget those cool things you’d managed to do but think of how you felt when you were successful! Whilst you may still pass without studying, how great would it be to pass with flying colours because you revised!
  • remove the idea of “failure” from your mind - the likelihood is, if you’ve studied, you aren’t going to fail. You may perhaps get a lower mark than expected if you’ve not studied effectively but if you’ve done everything you should be, it is unlikely that you’ll fail because you were ill-prepared. Try to remain positive about your chance to prove yourself wrong. You can do it.

Hope this helps xx

This is gonna be a personal and self-indulgent entry. No fandom fun here.

The short of it: I’m asexual.

The long of it:

It’s my birthday on Thursday. And that hasn’t been a good day for me in years.

You know how December is that month of the high suicide rates and increase of depression due to the holidays making people realize how lonely they are and the approaching New Year making them feel like failures for the now nearly past year of not achieving their life goals?

Yeah, I never had that problem with December. It’s always been October for me, because the mark of another life year passed always seemed more significant to me.

And alongside of personal, school/university, family and social failure, a huge part of it used to also be my “romantic failure”.

When we were 12, my friends started having boyfriends.

I thought I was just a late bloomer.

Then I realized I wasn’t into boys but rather into girls, so I figured maybe… it’s just a lesbian thing?

Not to mention I was the only lesbian around, so the lack of available partner became a good and easy excuse for years.

When I was sixteen, this feeling of being a failure for it kicked in. By then, all but my best friend had already had multiple boyfriends and had lost their virginity.

I still turned green a the thought of kissing someone. And hey all the girls I knew were straight anyway so it’s totally not my fault that I haven’t, right?

Yeah, well that excuse can only tide you over for so long.

And when you surpass twenty and you by now actually know lesbians and have people who would go to a gay bar with you but you still back out all the time and come up with the most plausible reasons why, you start to feel like something must ve inherently wrong with you.

The thing was - and still is - that I would want a girlfriend. I’d also want a domme; those things do go hand in hand for me and personally I think that dominant and submissive nature have surpassed the point if being kinks and should be considered an aspect of sexuality too, in this time and age where literally eeeverything has its own name and label. But deep down, I knew it were the thoughts of having to have sex and having to kiss someone that mortified me enough to put the whole finding a girlfriend thing off. But that… didn’t mean anything, right? I was still a totally normal, valid lesbian.

See, that’s where the next problem laid.

You learn about straights and gays and bisexuals in school. But all those fancy new terms and countless other sexualities? Not so much.

For a fleeting time, the thought of being asexual had crossed my mind back when I first encountered the term, but by my understanding back then that wasn’t possible. I was clearly interested in girls so that alone negates the possibility, right?

It was actually through Shadowhunters and more precisely the character of Raphael Santiago that I paused, because he was described on the wiki as asexual and aromantic.

I had never heard that second term before. I didn’t know that having feelings for someone doesn’t invalidate asexuality. To my prior understanding, that was one and the same thing and asexual just equaled… well the lack of any sexuality and thus also all romance, for in all other sexualities they were very clearly linked - by the term SEXuality alone already.

Not to mention, I do masturbate. I mean, huh, it’s just about relieving tension and like tiring the body out to have an easier time falling asleep. I never really understood why people would require someone else to do that for them.

The thought that masturbation is actually pleasurable and not just efficient, tiring exercise to others is… weird for me.

The idea that sex is pleasurable is plain unbelievable for me. The thought of actually having sex is highly uncomfortable and disturbing.

Again, for years I just thought “late bloomer”, or “haven’t even tried it so maybe I’m wrong and it’s actually mindblowing” and countless other excuses.

I’m 25. That’s way past late bloomer.

I didn’t need to try boys to know I’m a lesbian and I didn’t need to try a BDSM relationship to know I’m into that. I know what I want and what I like and if I think it’ll be gross and upsetting and uncomfortable and weird, then there’s a 100% chance that sex isn’t going to turn out to be the mindblowingly awesome best thing it’s advertised as.

I like girls, but whenever I did think about or crave having a girlfriend, it’s always been about the cuddling and tenderness and gentleness of the concept that I was craving. When I was in love, I never had those Hollywood typical naughty dreams and thoughts about them. It was always about the emotional connection.

And I know me saying that kissing and sex are literally the grossest things I can imagine is weird considering the baffling amount of smut fics I’ve written.

Part of it is that it was my outlet to trying to figure out what exactly about the concept is supposed to be so appealing.

Part of it is my previous point about considering BDSM an aspect of sexuality. And therein I consider the act of allowing yourself to be penetrated the ultimate act of submission - not just in a gay relationship but also in a straight one, which is why straight sex just confuses me a lot. I am very aware that penetration and bottoming has nothing to do with the act of BDSM submission, just to clarify that. It’s just… the only way sex actually makes SENSE to me. As an act of submission and part of an established, clear D/s relationship.

Which might explain a lot about my writing and about why I’m adamantly stubborn about top/bottom. So there you go - mystery solved.

Anyway. Losing my train of thought here, but that does reflect the mess in my mind nicely because for the past year, my mind had been a whirlwind of all those thoughts. Trying to make sense of the things I felt and did, trying to get through excuses and justifications.

Trying to put a name on it.

And that’s hard. It’s really very hard. Especially when in your group of friends you already are the “most knowledgable” about this kind of stuff. Especially when you don’t know anyone you could ask for… directions and answers to all those questions you have.

I had at least a dozen abandoned texts to my more… sexuality-educated friends about the matter, but always chickened out.

Because in the end, being a lesbian was like saying “there’s not the same stuff going on for me as for you”, while this felt more like… “there’s nothing going on for me” - and since when is nothing a justification for all the drama…?

It didn’t feel… valid, in a way. And then there was still this issue of figuring out how liking girls and writing about sex and masturbating even fit into this new concept and… and it was more a matter of asking if *I* was valid. If I was even allowed to use that term for myself, of if I’d be offending real asexuals by misunderstanding and misusing the term in a desperate attempt to… to make sense of myself.

I still don’t really know about that entire last section, but I feel like I managed to make more sense of myself in those past months than I did in years and I am mostly pleased with the answers I found for myself about the things that had troubled me.

I still don’t even really know what to call it, being an asexual lesbian. I feel like there’s probably a term for it but I don’t know it and I wouldn’t know who to ask or even how to ask.

All I know is that it feels… right. And that, for the first time, it doesn’t make me feel socially pressured into self-loathing about being uninterested in having sex.

I’m turning 26 in two days and for the first time, hating myself for never having been kissed or having sex won’t be an issue because I found something that makes me feel valid just the way I am instead of making me feel pressured into certain social expectations.

And this entry actually has a point too. Because I wanted to lighten the load of self-loathing a bit more by achieving at least one more huge thing within this life-year; coming out, for the second time in my life now.

Because I’ve never dared say or write those things to anyone, for the various above mentioned reasons, doubts and insecurities. This is… my first time admitting that I think I’m asexual and after the past years of not even knowing what was “wrong” with me, why I was different from the others, and after the past year of struggling through this on my own… it feels kind of liberating to just… have a name for it and to write it out like this.

I’m asexual.

karnilla74  asked:

How long do you think the situation with the state of the Japanese movie industry can last? Sure a movie might make some money at first, but without good product you can have franchises or anything with long term value

They’re definitely making some money. Shin Godzilla and Your Name basically made enough money to make up for all of the failures much like happens in Hollywood. That said, I look at how badly received Attack on Titan was and it makes me wonder just how much they could have made if they film wasn’t so designed by committee.

To be fair to Japanese cinema, aside from America it seems like every national cinema has its moment before it’s then almost ignored by the rest of the world. In my lifetime I feel I’ve seen Hong Kong, France, Spain, Mexico and Japan all be the ‘hot thing’ and then suddenly dropped. Only South Korea has truly beaten this trend, making excellent films consistently, and they get noticed.

The movies of my country don’t fare any better than Japan in my mind. Japanese cinema is having a bit of an extended blip, but I don’t see it as embarrassing as I do English movies.

Some hilarious writing prompts

Alright so a few days ago I decided to look for some hilarious text posts on tumblr and I laughed so much I just had to write some prompts! (is possible to be customized)
(Send me requests with 1/1+ prompt/s. I write about a lot of fandoms and also a lot of different things : one shots/scenarios/imagines/headcanons/chats/conversations/aesthetics/alomst anything) REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

*1. Do I look like I give a fuck?
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*2. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! HOw dare you.
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*3. Me? Overreacting? Probably.
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4. I used to be passive aggressive, but now I’m aggressively passive. Don’t mess with me kiddo. I’ll be right here. I’ll fucking forgive you.
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5. A: Whar are you doing?
B: Avoiding.
A: Avoiding what?
B: Everything.
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*6. This was impulsive. Probably shouldn’t have done it. WHO CARES?
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*7. You’re really cute and it’s ruining my life because I think about kissing you all the time.
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8. A: It’s okay, I’m not mad.
    A (5 mins later): Actually? You can go to Hell.
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9. I hate people who get personally offended when I’m in a bad mood, likeI’m not mad at you Susan (name), I’m mad at the world!
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10. A to A: Bitch, if you actually applied yourself in like…anything, you’d be dangerous ,damn my lazy ass.
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11. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but there’s a lot of it.
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12. Not to dictate your life, but drop your shitty friends.
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13. That sounds like responsibility and I want no part in it.
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14. Why am I better than everyone? Jesus, life’s hard.
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15. A: How do you make someone holy?
B: You beat the hell out of them.
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16. A: I’m amazed of how insignificant we actually are.
B: Not me, I’m important.
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17. If anyone can do it, then someone who isn’t me can do it.
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18. In the old days of one week ago things were different. Now look at us - slightly older than we were back then, other clothes and such.
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19. I’m not going to claim that I know everything, I’m simply going to act like it.
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*20. You have to “see it to believe it”, so as long as I’m not looking I don’t have to believe in anything.
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21. I’m visualising a powerful mystical energy at the moment.
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22. If I don’t learn anything from my mistakes then I don’t have to consider them mistakes in the first place.
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23. Why the hell is there always this one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down with murder? No offence though.
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24. A: If you ever feel stupid, or weak, or powerless, just remember that I, am not.
B: THanks.
A: You’re welcome.
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25. I wanna do dirty stuff with you like farming.
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26. A: What are you reading?
B: 10 tips for beutiful hair the Government doesn’t want you to know.
A: wHAT the fuck?
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27. A: I’m tired of these constant near-death experiences.
B: (opinional) don’t be a whiny bitch, bitch.
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28. Man, how many eye contact until date?
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29. God has a favourite comedy tv series and it’s called “my life”.
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30. Sometimes all you can say is “yikes” and then just on the fuck on.
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31. Why is everyone having their mid-life crisis at like 19?
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32. It’s a beutiful day to give me money, honey.
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33. Women aren’t complicated, you’re just dumb.
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34. Well this social situation isn’t going the way I acted it out in the shower.
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35. No offence, but my favourite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful.
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36. I’m actually pretty cool if you give me like 5 tries to get it right.
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37. Today I’m feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic.
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38. Be prapared to add a cute emoji next to my name in your contacts list because you’re gonna love me.
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*39.A: Babe, I’m not grabbing your boob, I’m grabbing your heart.
B: That’s my right boob though.
A: Babe.
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40.Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.
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41.What makes me feel like a failure the most is when I can’t remember the answet to a Harry Potter trivia question.
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42.I hate it when I’m really nice…And then people are just not that nice? Like what the fuck.
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43.Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.
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*44.Is your name candle? Because I wanna blow you.
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*45. So, was that just awkward eye contact, or were we checking eachother out?-

46.You know, having feelings is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch.
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47.My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense.
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48.I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I’m actually angrier.
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49.I ship me and that boat.
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50.Listen. I did mean to make you upset and I do think your opinions are shit. But you’re still my friend so it’s okay.
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51.Because my two moods are like glitter and death.
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*52.My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee!
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53.If I go to Hell I’m gonna constantly torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or is it just me.
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54.Oh my God are you seeing this shit?
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55.Graduated top of my class from Hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery.

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56.A (shows up at your door 10 years after we had an argument): aND ANOTHER THING

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57.I’ll betray all of you in the Hunger Games.

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58.Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend, the dawing realization that I fucked up real bad.

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59.I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just life in general.

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60.I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.

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61.Tell me I’m cute or something, so I can roll my eyes at you, but then blush when I think about it later.

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62.You know when your hair is greasy and it makes you feel so bad about yourself? And your entire life. Everything is awful because my hair is greasy.

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63.True love is having a crush even when he got a haircut you know.

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64.Emotions? You know, I just push my tear back into my eye and tell it “Not now, you little bastard!”.

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65.Are we gonna hold hands, or what?

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66.My soul leaving my body, but with one of those slide whistle sound effects.

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67.A: I love you.

B: What if I got a bowl cut?

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68.I should really stop planning my future around being rich or famous…but I can’t.

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69.I’m aggressively thibking about having sex with you and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. Do you know hOW hard that is?

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70.My opinion is no.

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71.Did you fall from heaven, because so did Satan.

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72.What to hear a fairytale? Once upon a time you weren’t such a little bitch.

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73.Which is messier - my life or my hair?

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74.How can you face the problem when the problem is your face?

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75.Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to know wHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

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76.Read a girl who dates books.

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77.My hands are cold let me put them in your pants.

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78.I’m sorry, you must be at least level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

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79.My therapist once told me that I have this obsession with seeking revenge…we’ll see about that.

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80.You have lips, I have lips…interesting.

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81.Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on?

/PART TWO/


/170715 ; a Temporary side note: please for the moment don’t send me requests with the numbers that have a (*). I’ve received so many requests with those, I’m starting to run out of ideas :D Thank you ! / - persuasivus

please stop assuming all asian musicians are naturally talented prodigies!!! there is no such thing as ~~natural talent~~ and we all work our butts off to get good at what we do, so please learn to accept that!!!!

The Signs and Deep Fears

*check sun sign, moon sign, 8th house, 12th house*

Aries: losing a fight or argument, being controlled or restricted, feeling unimportant

Taurus: unexpected and intense changes, loss of security, feeling as though they are a burden

Gemini: having their intelligence ridiculed, making the wrong choices, their own rapid, uncontrollable feelings

Cancer: expressing their emotions, feeling vulnerable and weak, opening up to others

Leo: rejection, getting little to no attention, being told they are unattractive 

Virgo: realizing their own flaws, feeling worthless and useless, having poor mental or physical health

Libra: confrontation, their environment being out of control, rejection

Scorpio: insecurities being revealed, betrayal or deceit, being seen as weak

Sagittarius: others degrading their beliefs and theories, feeling caged in, getting hurt over and over again because of their willingness to compromise and forgive

Capricorn: not being in control, feeling like a failure,  feeling depressed and misunderstood

Aquarius: being denied freedom of self-expression, never making a difference, feeling trapped

Pisces: facing reality, feeling alone, harsh words from those they love or idealize

Full Birth/Natal Chart readings for only $5 / Message me if interested! / PayPal payments only.

click here for my other astrology readings / click here for my divination/tarot readings!

i wish i’d known sooner a lot of things. like you have no control over anyone’s actions or body except your own, and sometimes not even then. like if it’s not your secret to tell, it’s your secret to keep. like when your word is good people turn to you for truth. like lying is addictive. like compromise and peace are cousins, not twins. like never sign something without reading the full agreement and never sign anything you feel pressured not to read. like listen before you disagree. like taking a deep breath can save relationships.

i messed up so many times i stopped being able to count them. for a long time i thought that meant i was also a bad person; full of failure, full of times i’ve hurt others, sometimes even on purpose.

it took me a long time to realize that what makes a bad person is never admitting you did something wrong. i’ve messed up a lot. but i don’t defend myself against that. i apologize, learn from it, apply it to my personality. learn that sometimes being right isn’t the same thing as the right thing to do. learn that sometimes it’s okay not to be the most loved person in the room. it’s hard for me because i forget, like all people do.

but i think about the people who never learn. who choose time and time again to ignore what happens and instead continue in their pattern, regardless of what happens. that can never be wrong, that refuse to believe it. my mother used to say accidents happen, mistakes happen sometimes, and a choice you can mark your calendar by. 

you aren’t your mistakes. you’re the way you apologize, you’re how you admit you’ve been wrong, you’re how you move forwards. sometimes we can’t admit to ourselves we aren’t perfect. it’s a hard thing to be human. but expect less of who you are.

learn. move on. go far.

Fall Out Boy Songs for the Signs

ARIES: Tell That Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today // Breaking hearts has never looked so cool, as when you wrap your car around a tree, your makeup looks so great next to his teeth

TAURUS: Centuries // Until you die for me, as long as there’s a light, my shadow’s over you, cause I am the opposite of amnesia, and you’re a cherry blossom, you’re about to bloom, you look so pretty, but you’re gone so soon

GEMINI: Miss Missing You // I will sing to you every day, if it will take away the pain, oh and I’ve heard you got it, got it so bad, cause I am the best you’ll never have

CANCER: Young and Menance // Oops I, did it again, I forgot what I was losing my mind about, oh, I only wrote this down to make you press rewind, and send a message: I was young and a menace

LEO: Bang the Doldrums // And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me, the same way I think of you, this is a love song in my own way, happily ever after below the waist

VIRGO: Fame < Infamy // I am God’s gift but why would he bless me with, such wit without a conscience equipped, I’m addicted to the way I feel when I think of you, whoa, “There’s too much green to feel blue”

LIBRA: I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I’m Always Trying to Get You Off (Me & You) // We’re the new face of failure, prettier and younger but not any better off, bulletproof loneliness at best, at best

SCORPIO: I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song) // We’re the kids who feel like dead ends, and I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses, I took a shot and didn’t even come close, at trust and love and hope, and the poets are just kids who didn’t make it, and never had it at all

SAGITTARIUS: Death Valley // Cause we are alive, here in death valley, but don’t take love off the table yet, cause tonight it’s just fire alarms and losing you, we love a lot so we only lose a little

CAPRICORN: Tiffany Blews // Oh baby, you’re a classic, like a little black dress, you’re a faded moon, stuck on a little hot mess 

AQUARIUS: Hum Hallelujah // I thought I loved you, it was just how you looked in the light, a teenage vow in a parking lot, ‘til tonight do us part, I sing the blues and swallow them too

PISCES: Golden // Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams, where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens, and I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me

“noo my parents didn’t abuse me! they just accidentally made me lose all my faith in myself and caused me to feel like a worthless failure who’s never gonna be good enough to survive, and they might have hit me but it might have been just once or twice so it doesn’t count, right? they just happen to worsen my anxiety and depression constantly but I’m sure they don’t mean it!! I’m sure they have no idea how much I’m suffering and I don’t want to throw such harsh words as "abuser” around because they might find out I said such a thing and get angry, and it generally doesn’t end well for me when they’re angry! I also have bunch of holes in my memories and blurred events I’m not even sure happened in which I get hurt but who knows if I just made those up! Better be safe and assume I’m making things up and overreacting! I know if I confront them and ask them if they knew they hurt me they’re going to tell me I’m just being hysterical and imagining things for attention! They just really think they’re right! I need to keep in mind I’m indebted to them for feeding and sheltering me, god knows that was tough for them! They had a rough life too, they don’t need me accusing them of being abusers as well! Maybe it would be easier on them if I just died-“

These are the thoughts of child abuse victims. If your parents comments make you feel worthless and like a failure, they’re abusive. If your parents worsen your depression and anxiety, they’re abusive. If you’re scared of your parents they’re abusive. If they used violence to control you even once, they’re abusive. If they accuse you of being crazy or making things up when you confront them on hurting you they’re abusive. If they made you feel indebted for simply not letting you die on purpose, they’re abusive. If they forced you to focus on their lives and their perspective of you to the point where you can’t even acknowledge your own pain, injuries, and your own point of view, they’re abusive. If your parents make you feel like it would be better if you had never been born, or if you died, they’re abusive.

for a lot of students, myself included, it can be really hard to figure out how to set goals! often, things like new year’s resolutions are made with the best of intentions, followed for a week, and then forgotten. here’s my personal step-by-step on setting and sticking to a goal!

  1. think about why you are setting this each goal. if you have a concrete reason, it’s much easier to remind yourself of that later and stay motivated.
  2. set realistic goals. if what you are trying to do is impossible, you simply can’t meet your goals, and you will become discouraged!
  3. make quantifiable goals. this is, in my opinion, the most important step! you need to be able to keep definite track of your progress. if your goal is just “smile more” or “be nicer,” how will you know that you are succeeding? however, if your goal is “smile at least 5 times a day” or “compliment my friends at least 3 times a week,” that’s something you can measure. if you have trouble coming up with these, check out my list of them here
  4. set a time limit. this isn’t applicable to all types of goals, but it’s important for some. if your goal is something that can be completed, like writing a novel or finishing an assignment, know when you want it done by, instead of just “someday.”
  5. break down your goal into smaller goals. “writing a book” is a daunting task, but if you have smaller, daily goals of “write 1000 words,” it becomes much less intimidating. it’s easier to hold yourself accountable. this also prevents procrastination, because if you are making regular progress, you can avoid doing it all right before the deadline.
  6. account for time. make sure to include goals in your schedule, especially if it’s something like “work out for half an hour every day.” set aside time to achieve your goals, otherwise you might find yourself scrambling.
  7. set reminders. sometimes the easiest way to not achieve a goal is to forget to complete it! i use phone alarms with a unique sound and a label, but sometimes all you need is a daily checklist.
  8. have a way to track progress. keep all your information about a goal in one spot, and don’t lose it! bullet journals, google docs, and printables are great for this. at the end of every day, consider: did you meet your goal for the day? write down the answer, and maybe a reason why. it’s a great way to hold yourself accountable.
  9. tell others. another way to hold yourself accountable is with a little help! personally, if i’m the only one who knows about my goal, i’m less likely to achieve it because if i fail, i don’t feel like i’m letting anyone down. sometimes that extra pressure is useful.
  10. reward success. sometimes success can be its own reward, but sometimes you need a little extra motivation. this is where having an outside party helping can come in handy: if you have a partner who you’re working with, they can reward you if and ONLY if you’ve achieved your goal! it might be hard to restrain yourself from taking the reward anyway if you’re the only one calling the shots, so having an outside voice of reason can be really useful.
  11. don’t let failure make you quit. sometimes, it takes a lot of work and a lot of tries to get something right. if it seems like you won’t get it on the first try, see if you can on your second.
  12. work hard! in the end, only you can get yourself there.

good luck with your goals, and feel free to add to this post if you have any other tips! if you end up using my method, tag me with #celestudial. you can do it!

I deserved you. You didn’t deserve me. I deserved your love. You didn’t deserve mine. I worked so hard to try to please you and prove that I was worthy. Every minute of my day I tried to figure out a way to make you happier. But somehow your love faded. Now I’m standing around feeling like a failure because my efforts and intentions didn’t go as planned. I thought we were in this together. Now that I have to let go of my claim on you, I’m disappointed that our relationship will have to disappear. It breaks my heart to even look at your face because you hurt me when I needed you the most. I wanted a happy ending for us but you should’ve never been apart of my story.
—  kajecollins 
A Homestuck Character arc summary:
  • The world is on fire
  • John: oh geez that sucks *does nothing*
  • Dave: this is fine hold on lemme take a selfie
  • Rose: I tried everything to put out this fire, nothing worked. The only viable solution is that I summon the forces of evil.
  • Jade: Oh no! :0 *falls asleep and only wakes up for the climax*
  • Karkat: OH MY FUCK THE WORLD IS ON FIRE WHY IS NO ONE PANICKING NO ONE IS REACTING APPROPRIATELY TO THIS *I’M* NOT REACTING APPROPRIATELY TO THIS I HATE MYSELF.
  • Aradia: This was rather inevitable. I brought marshmallows.
  • Sollux: no one lii2tened 2 me when ii told you guy2 you were doomed ii have no sympathy for thii2
  • Tavros: uH, wHAT IS GOING ON?
  • Nepeta: :33 < *ac is sad her ship sunk because they died in the fire* they were purrfect for each other!
  • Kanaya: I Am All For The Utilisation Of Diplomatic Methods In This Situation However If All Else Fails I May Try The Chainsaw
  • Terezi: VR1SK4 NO
  • Vriska: That’s right!!!!!!!! Twas I that set the world a8laze!!!!!!!! 8ut that was inevita8le and now I’ll put out said fire, making me the hero you all deserved.
  • Equius: Is no being going to acknowledge how STRONG and L00d I am despite the situation.
  • Gamzee: Im GlAd We ArE aLl BeInG GoOd FrIeNdS
  • ...nevermind
  • MURDER
  • Eridan: wwhatever, this is not my fault.
  • Feferi: Glub! I’m shore we can sort it out if we just talk about our feelings!
  • Jane: It can't be that bad...*is that bad* oh shucks.
  • Dirk: I can handle the fire but can somebody please help me with my failures as a human being.
  • Jake: Wowie! I can finally live the adventure of a lifetime, just like my heroes! (Jake you are just showing your ass) Just like my heroes!
  • Roxy: imma put out the fire and imma be hot af while doing so just watch me
  • Calliope: Such a thrilling epic UoU
  • Caliborn: BUUUUURN MOTHERFUCKEEEERS!!!!!!!!
married part 8- h.s imagine

you can read the previous part here

you can find all my writing here

You held your cheek in shock as you stared at Kimberly in front of you. You watched as her chest was breathing hard. You noticed how her eyes that were once filled with anger and frustration faded into sadness.

The security guard that worked on your office floor quickly ran up to the commotion. Your coworker, Olivia, was quick to yell at him for “Not coming fast enough” and motioned for him to take Kimberly away.

As the guard placed his hand on Kimberly, asking her to come with him, Kimberly looked at you and whispered, “I’m sorry” before she followed him to the elevators. As you watched Kimberly leave, Olivia and the rest of your coworkers were quick to check up on you. Olivia inspected your cheek while she exclaimed, “Crazy bitch! What the fuck was that? Are you okay?”


As soon as the elevator doors opened, you ran out, hoping Kimberly was still in the building. You instantly saw her walking out the doors. “Kimberly!” You shouted before you ran after her. Kimberly turned around at the calling of her name. When you finally caught up to her, she sighed. She wrapped her arms around herself. For the first time since you’ve known Kimberly, this was the fist time she ever looked vulnerable. She always walked around with such confidence and a “No shits given” attitude but as you were staring at her, all of that was gone.

Kimberly instantly saw your red cheek from where she slapped you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to slap you like that. Especially in front of your coworkers.” Kimberly softly said as she stared at ground. You quickly shook your head. “It’s okay” You assured her before you placed your hand on her arm. “Is everything alright?”

Kimberly looked at your hand before she looked up at you. Suddenly she let out a small cry before she wrapped her arms around you, pulling you in for a hug as she cried into your shoulder. Your eyes went wide before you slowly returned the hug. You noticed the people walking by the two of you were staring and probably wondering why a girl was sobbing in another girl’s arms in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Shh. Shh. Come on. Let’s talk.” You said.


You gave Kimberly a couple of tissues before you sat down on the couch next to her. You lead Kimberly back into your office building. As the two of you were sitting down in the lobby, her sobbing stopped but her tears continued to spill. Kimberly was grabbing the ends of her hair while you mentally debated what you should say.

Kimberly was the first to break the silence. “Harry told me that you guys rekindled last night in our meeting today.”

Your cheeks went red as your mouth opened in shock. You couldn’t believe Harry would tell her something happened when you didn’t even know for yourself what was going on between the two of you. Kimberly glanced at you before looking away. “He told me how you guys reconnected at Niall’s wedding last night.”

Harry walked into the conference room with a smile on his face as he read your latest text to him. Not only was he happy he had his best friend back, he could finally tell you all the things he wanted to tell you but couldn’t because of his feelings for you. Kimberly was sitting one one side of the table her lawyer while his lawyer was sitting on the other side. Harry looked over at Kimberly with a lopsided grin as he took his seat. “Kimberly, how are you, love?”

Kimberly was staring at Harry with her eyebrows raised. Out of all the meetings they’ve had so far with their lawyers, Harry was never this happy. This was always a serious matter and here he was acting like he was walking on cloud nine. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Harry sent one last text to you before he put his phone away. “Nothing. Let’s start.”

After the meeting, both lawyers stepped aside to go over last minute decisions and details. Kimberly was picking up her purse, getting ready to leave when Harry gently placed his hand on her shoulder. Kimberly turned around to her almost ex-husband. Harry scratched the back of his neck while he thought carefully how to word what he was about to say.

“Kimberly, love, I know these meetings have been hard. It’s been tough for the both of us.” Harry said as he looked at someone he once thought he was going to spend forever with.

Kimberly nodded as she clutched on to her purse tighter against her body. Harry continued, “I just wanted to tell you that I recently got back in touch with Y/N. We were at Niall’s wedding together last night.” Harry smiled as he thought about the night you guys spent together last night. “And I just want you to know that she’s not the reason we’re getting a divorce. I just feel like we both rushed into things by getting married. We weren’t ready-”

When Kimberly heard your name, she couldn’t hear anything else. She didn’t listen to Harry’s excuse on why he asked for a divorce. She didn’t care. All she could see was red. She knew telling Y/N to stay away from Harry was a good idea. Now look what happened when Y/N didn’t listen. Harry was asking for a divorce because of Y/N. This was all Y/N’s fault.

Kimberly stared at her ring finger that once had the most beautiful ring could ever ask for. She sighed as she wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her sweater. “Harry and I…we were so happy. I only agreed to the divorce because I was hoping that Harry would somehow come to his senses and realize he was making a mistake. I was hoping that he would realize he loved me.”

You looked into Kimberly’s tearing eyes, beginning to feel nothing but guilt. Kimberly continued, “But when he told me about you coming back? I thought this was it. Harry’s going to get a divorce and be with you.” Kimberly placed her face into her hands and let out a sob. “I just feel like such a failure.”

Hesitatingly you scooted closer to Kimberly and placed your arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. Kimberly returned the hug as she continued into your shoulder.

You rubbed her back soothingly as you closed your eyes and sighed. You remembered clearly to the day that Kimberly told you to stay away from Harry. You remembered feeling so angry at her for even thinking about saying such of a thing to you. Now, as you were looking at the girl afraid she was losing her husband, you realized it wasn’t a threat; it was Kimberly’s way of crying for help.

You pulled away from the hug and held her at arm’s length. “I’m going to fix this, okay?” You pulled her in again and sighed as you hugged her. “I’m going to fix everything…”


Harry wrapped his arms from behind you as you were taking the takeout boxes out of the bag. He sighed contently as he buried his face into the crook of your shoulder.

Having Harry holding you like this should’ve made you smile. You should’ve felt butterflies in your stomach but for now all you felt was guilt and a bitter taste in your mouth. You gently shrugged Harry off as you grabbed two plates from the cabinet.

Harry proceeded to bring the boxes of food to the dining room table. “How was your day, love?” You sighed as you took your seat across from him. You stared at Harry as he began to put food on his plate. You bit your lip before you asked, “What are we doing, Harry?”

Harry paused as he was taking some rice out of the box before he continued. “We’re having dinner.” Harry said as he gave you a playful look.

You shook your head as you leaned in closer. “No. What are we doing, Harry? You’re married.” Harry stuck his finger at you as he corrected you, “Getting a divorce.”

“Yes. But still married.” You shot back. Harry sighed as he put his plate down. You glanced between his eyes and his plate. “Kimberly stopped by my office today.”

Harry’s eyes went wide before you continued, “She was in tears, Harry.” Harry sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. You whispered, “She told me she thought you guys might still have a chance.”

Harry reached over and placed his hand on top of yours. “Love, I’m sorry that you’re in the middle of this. I’m sorry that she came and talked to you. I’ll bring that up the next meeting we have but please believe me when I say I want to pursue a relationship with you.”

You took your hand out of Harry’s hold as you got up from the table. “Is that fair when you haven’t even pursued your marriage with Kimberly?”

Harry stood up as well and began walking towards you. “Marrying Kimberly was mistake. It was stupid on my part when I knew I had feelings for you. I should’ve been all in it if I was marrying someone.”

You looked down at the floor as you wrapped your arms around yourself. “Before you knew about my feelings for you, you were all in it. You believed that you were going to be with Kimberly for the rest of your life.”

Harry opened his mouth but you were quick to say, “Because of me, I ruined someone’s marriage. I hurt Kimberly. I ruined everything for her. I’m a home wrecker.”

Harry shook his head quickly as he placed his hands on your arms. “Love, you didn’t ruin anything. Our marriage was going to end eventually.”

You shook your head. “You don’t know that.”

Harry closed his eyes momentarily. “I do know it! Because throughout my whole marriage, all I could think about was you! All I could see when I was looking at Kimberly was you! Kimberly was a distraction from you!”

As you listened to Harry’s words you couldn’t help but tear up. You have loved Harry for so long and hearing him say the words you’ve always wanted to hear; you couldn’t enjoy it. Instead your mind drifted to the girl that was crying in your arms today. You couldn’t help but think what if it was you on the other side? What if you were in Kimberly’s shoes? What if you were marrying Harry and you truly, truly thought you guys were going to be together for the rest of your life? What if deep down, Harry wasn’t happy and wanted to be with someone else?

How could you do that to someone?

Harry was staring into your tear filled eyes, trying to get an idea of what was going on in that beautiful min of yours. You looked at Harry and shook your head. “I can’t do this.”

Harry’s mouth fell open. He could hear his heart physically breaking at the thought of losing you again. “Whatever is going on between us, I can’t do it. I can’t do that to someone.”

Harry’s eyes began to fill with his own tears. “So we’re back to where we started? We’re going to go back to not talking for a whole fucking year?”

You placed your hands on Harry’s cheeks in hopes of calming him down. “I can’t go back to that. Not having you in my life was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

Harry placed his hand on top of yours as he let out a sniff. You wrapped your arms around Harry, pulling in for a hug. He let out a shaky sigh as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “So what does this mean for us?”

You let out a chuckle as a very tanned Emma and Niall took a seat across from you. “You guys look great!” You laughed.

Emma smiled. “Hawaii was awesome! Everyone is so nice there and the food-”

“So how are things going between you and Harry?” Niall said with a smile on his face. When Niall and Emma got back from their honeymoon, they immediately wanted to catch up. You sighed as you thought about what happened a couple nights ago. After telling Harry you couldn’t be with him romantically, the two of you vowed to be what you guys knew best; best friends.

It was definitely hard. There were times when you looked at Harry and just wanted to feel of his lips on yours again. There were times where the two of you were cuddling while watching a movie and you just wanted to tell him how much you loved him but you couldn’t.

You proceeded to tell Niall and Emma everything that happened. You told them how Kimberly came into your office and slapped you, you told them how she cried in your arms in the lobby, and most importantly you told them your decision to remain friends with Harry.

When you finished talking you noticed how both Niall and Emma were quiet. Niall had his arms crossed as he stared away from you while Emma had her mouth closed. Emma shrugged her shoulders and let out a sigh, “I suppose. If this is what you want, Y/N.”

You were about to respond before Niall interrupted abruptly. “No. No Y/N. You’ve wanted Harry for years. And once you finally have the chance to be with him, you throw it away to spare someone you don’t even like? Kimberly has always been awful to you! She’s threatened you, she’s horrible to you and you respond by letting her walk all over you? No. This isn’t fair. Why does her feelings trump yours?”

You were staring at your lap as Emma softly placed her hand on top of Niall’s. “Honey, calm down.” Emma said softly.

Niall shook his head. “Y/N. You’re one of my best friends. I’ve seen you hurt for so long and I’ve seen you put others before yourself. You’re a good person, Y/N. I can’t just stand back and watch you throw your happiness away. I know, Emma knows, everyone with eyes knows that you and Harry belong together. What’s stopping you?”

You let out a sigh as you finally looked up at Niall. “I’m scared of being with Harry.”


i love hearing from you guys! let me know what you guys thought/ want to see what happens! do you feel any sympathy for kimberly? let me know!

“You got the makings of greatness in you,……. well, I hope I’m there, catching some of the light coming off you that day.”—–

have you guys seen treasure planet?? yeah this is 100% based off that one scene with jim and john.
also some serious vent art…. like some seeeeeerious vent art my dudes

“Transformers: Titans Return” will feature the voice talents of Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime — the role he originated for the original 1980s animated TV show – along with Wil Wheaton, Judd Nelson, Michael Dorn and Jason David Frank in the digital series from Warner Bros.’ Machinima and toy giant Hasbro.
 
The first chapter of the trilogy, “Transformers: Combiner Wars,” has generated more than 125 million views since debuting in August 2016, exclusively on Go90 in the U.S., according to Machinima.
— 

Transformers: Titans Return’ Series Casts Peter Cullen, Judd Nelson, Wil Wheaton

I recorded this months ago, and it’s been KILLING ME to not talk about it. I’m so excited! I grew up with the original Transformers animated series, and played with the toys until their joints were so loose, I couldn’t stand them up.

Being part of the Transformers canon is a very big deal for me, a huge honor, and a dream come true. 

And it’s probably silly to care about it, but it makes me feel like maybe I’m not a total failure when Daily Variety (the Industry newspaper) includes my name in their headline with Peter Freaking Cullen.

It’s kind of funny, ya know?
I kept telling myself and others;
“I have a feeling 2017 is going to be a good one”
This very real very deep feeling -
And just like that,
something in my mind switched.
A voice in my head appeared,
one that I hadn’t heard in a very long time.
It said something that was nothing profound,
yet it hit me at a hundred miles per hour;
“Why not MAKE it a good one?”
It’s a basic law of physics, really.
For every action there is a reaction.


Expectations set up failure.
So don’t expect anything.
Simply act.

—  S.S. 2017
The Ultimate Percy Jackson Characterization Masterpost

Because I have been talking about this for months and a lot of other people have too, but it’s disjointed. I want to compile it, since his mischaracterization breaks my heart and makes me want to scream with rage. Please add if you think of something I didn’t! I’m also starting the tag “#percy jackson defense squad”, so feel free to start dumping your salt and rage and theories and ideas in there because I wanna hear them!

Trigger warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts, sexual abuse, child abuse, and domestic violence.

Keep reading

Studyblr posts always make me feel like such a failure like uve got these immaculate color coded notes with the worlds neatest handwriting and the best stationary even made surrounded by like plants and glorious sunlight while my notes would be scrawled on a dirty napkin five minutes before the exam and that’s if they even existed at all

anonymous asked:

I can't believe we got two episodes in a row of such blatant Deancas what is happening

what i’m having a hard time digesting is that they aren’t trying to disguise it like they normally would?

  • they don’t have sam reacting the same way at all in the slightest
    • like, we didn’t get an emotional scene where sam calls his mom and tells her he’s spun out
    • why is dean so spun out and sam’s just like “let’s go work a case”
    • i mean usUALLY they try to mask the deancas by giving us samcas 
    • even the ONE TIME sam called cas it was just so that he could come back to dean and be like “damn u right, he really isn’t answering his phone”
  • dean keeps doing and saying things that are, as i’ve said before, LINES THAT JENSEN USUALLY WOULD WANT TO CHANGE IN A SCRIPT. he has on at least two occasions changed lines in a script to be less “romantic” but apparently giving his good ol’ best buddy a mixtape didn’t set off his romantic buzzer? 
    • talking about not recognizing the guy staring back at me didn’t set it off? 
    • calling his mom and emotionally telling her how spun out he is didn’t set it off?
    • frankly, i’m disappointed in nesnej
  • USUALLY, there’s some other reason for dean to be worried about cas besides………………..dean loving cas
    • yes, i know cas is fucked up right now and dean is worried about that but like? they didn’t even try to make dean worried about lucifer jr and the possible 87th apocalypse. he was straight up only worried about cas. 
    • not to mention the 17 episodes prior to 12x19 where dean had no clue what was going on with cas, didn’t really need him for anything, and was simply calling him over and over because he was worried about him.
  • USUALLY they wouldn’t have dean and cas straight up say what they mean
    • now it’s like “i feel like a failure and need to bring u a win” and “i’m mad because i’m worried” and “you mean WE like YOU AND ME like WE are a family ????” and “it’s a gift u keep those” and “i love you”
    • like especially the mixtape thing, it could’ve been really easy for cas to give that back to dean and dean could’ve been like “thanks man” and instead he’s like IT’S A GIFT I GAVE IT TO U AS A GIFT
    • they have never canonically given each other anything as useless as a cassette tape just for the sake of gift giving
    • i got off track here
    • why all the sudden are they being so honest with each other where was the fucking warning sooperblop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • usually they’d have some third party being like “you’re in love with humanity” or “cas has this weakness he likes you” and now they’re just ???????????????? direct, face-to-face contact
    • what happened to them being afraid to put dean and cas alone in a room together
    • no seriously
    • since when can dean imply that cas stole the fuckin colt from underneath his pillow and we all just kind of roll with that
    • what universe did i get beamed into