this made me very emotional okay

please cheer up

nononoooo

Free! fandom, listen up. 

We only have a few episodes left until our favorite swimming homos are gone- maybe forever. 

 

this was supposed to make me feel better fuck okay lets turn this around

But don’t despairrrrr

im not doing a very good job here am i

I would like you to look back at this show. Why you watch it, why you love the characters you do, how it’s changed you or made you feel.

while for many it’s just for fun and good ship fodder, I’ve learned so much from the characters. The show has its flaws and started out as total fanservice, but it’s grown. They’ve all dealt with fear, pain, emotion, loneliness, and learned to work through and overcome what they can. To grow together- and even though they’re muscled and animated little dorks I have learned so much and been motivated immensely from these characters.

So while we roll around in a 200 foot deep sea of tears because of Sousuke’s shoulder, Haru’s race, the Harurin confrontation, Rei almost quitting the swim club, Nagisa running away, and Makoto feeling left behind, we still have a lot of ground to cover. We need to goddamn band together and be the kick-ass fandom we know we are.

So please

stop fighting each-other and about ships and over which characters you don’t like 

let’s all take time to enjoy the masterpiece that has made us happy and that has found it’s way into our lives

just remember, free!dom,

F O R  T H E  T E A M !

it doesnt mean i wont ball my eyes out or still pray for canon reigisa but hey guys lets do this 

youtube

TPoH music time!

Someone very kindly reminded me of this track via my inbox and I’ve had it in my drawing playlist for a while now, so up it goes!

tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon

“By night the prince played his silver harp and made her weep .”
(A Feast for Crows, Cersei, Chapter 24)

You know, I always say Cersei was never like Sansa to begin with. That she was ambitious when she was only ten years old, that she had a very clear idea of what she wanted and that she had no qualms about getting it for herself. I stand by it. She was a precocious child with a superiority complex, albeit descended from a mentality thatstemmed clearly from her position of nobility and her relatives. In short, she was the way she was because people let her believe so. However, rereading, this bit struck me as peculiar. I never really paid much attention to it, because as usual one tends to dismiss children’s reaction as being just that, a child’s reaction. Overdramatic and excessive, childish. But isn’t a child’s behaviour telling of their very character? Cersei was ten years old when the tournment of Lannisport took place. It was in this occasion her father promised her she would wed Rhaegar, and in this occasion Aerys very publicly humiliated Cersei and Tywin alike by defining them servants and bellowing how he would never ever marry his heir to little Cersei. Notable, before this happened, this was also the night Cersei visited Maggy The Frog’s tent and heard her prophecy.

“The Seven proved as deaf as their earthly servants. Cersei gave them all the words that she had in her, gave them everything but tears. That they will never have, she told herself.”
(A Dance with dragons, Cersei, Chapter 54)

So what happened in between? What happened to the girl who cried when her silver prince played his silver harp? One could say life happened, and they would be right probably. Cersei was never good at accepting rejection, and Aerys’ slight at her family meant the first of many crushed dreams for her. Robert Baratheon was the icing on the cake. But that’s worth sparing a thought, now and then, when you judge Cersei Lannister. Remember the ten year old girl who drew herself and Rhaegar riding a dragon. Remember the ten year old girl who cried when she still allowed herself to. 

More importantly, remember that when you say Sansa Stark deserves revenge for what she’s lived through… Maybe ten year old Cersei Lannister deserved the same.

Okay but when Effie asked Katniss to promise her she would find the life of a Victor I lost it.

Effie has been with Katniss since day one (the reaping), she has seen all the stuff she’s gone through and grew so fond of her because of this, and the only thing she wanted in the end was for her to live in peace and without worries. Their last scene together made me very emotional because it wrapped their story wonderfully.

Okay, the-sheillagh, so I had to group this together because it would have been an atrocious shame not to. 

So starting off with the first observation, I think the metaphor of a crystal shattering was of very great significance. It could stand for his anger - that all of his emotions finally came to a peak and he was breaking under the weight. But I also took this as a metaphorical limit to his powers. Think about it, let’s say that there were limitations to his powers, that he could only control certain part-water liquids, and his powers couldn’t pass that metaphorical boundary of control. I took that shattering feeling as Percy’s limit breaking. Meaning that he was desperate and angry enough that his powers expanded and that boundary shattered. Percy is extremely powerful on demigod terms, like extremely scary ‘i make the gods nervous and have been kid of the prophecy twice’ powerful. So for him to make it to that breaking point of having limitless hydrokenetic powers… it doesn’t really surprise me.

Also continuing with the glass metaphor and as if it were a broken barrier, that’s not something you could put back together and perfectly fix. When glass is broken it is always going to be broken, no matter how many times you glue or tape it back together. Which also leads me to believe that it wasn’t just Tartarus affecting Percy’s powers and that he could still continue to control all part-water liquids even after he left Tartarus.

I agree on the point you made that he wouldn’t have the best control over his powers. That scene with the Goddess of Misery - he was desperate, terrified, and most importantly angry. He was thirsting for vengeance. All of these I believe heavy influenced his powers, since his powers have always been thickly tied to his emotions.

So personally, taking that scene with Akhlys as a breaking of limitations to his powers, I believe that his powers will keep growing long after tartarus and boo. Maybe even graduating from control of part-water liquids and encompassing all liquids. 

How Jensen Ackles Saved my life...

Okay so I have never shared this story with anyone ever before… 

Last year I was having a really bad night… bad to the point where I even considered killing myself. I’m still here though. I’m here because just by chance, one of my friends sent me a link to Jensen singing Wild Mountain Thyme and it just really hit me. The lyrics alone made me feel wanted and not alone; “and we’ll all go together…” Jensen has always been my anchor but that night, more so than ever and for that I am and always will be so incredibly thankful. It just made me remember that things get better.

I met him yesterday and of course I cried and I wanted to tell him the story so badly, but I just couldn’t get the words out. Instead, I told him thank you and a shorten version of how I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for him. He lifted his hand when he saw me crying and I thought he wanted a high five so I hit it, but then he grabbed my hand and just smiled and afterwards, I just broke. I’m glad I didn’t break in front of him because I’m not sure what I would do… 

But yeah… that’s my story, well a shorten version anyway. I’ve never told anyone this, not even my closest friends so this a big step for me… anyway I’ll stop talking now. Here’s some photos of me with Jensen though, back when I was stable whereas during his auto I was so shaky and hysterical.

Apparently my parents talked to a married lesbian couple today & told them about me coming out and how scared they are, and the couple like really calmed them down and comforted them!! Which makes me so happy!! They didn’t even tell me that tho, my brother told me that, but my mom just texted me “Sooo very proud of you! Every little bit!” And it made me start crying in public lmao… I just hate seeing how much it hurts my mom since I’m really close with her & I want so badly for her to understand that it’s okay! And seeing her making progress means so much to me I’m so emotional rn

Okay so these are some work in progress pictures going from last November until now also with short term and long term goals!!!!

Here are pictures where I honestly felt horrible, I was at my worst mentally and physically

I was just unhappy with the fact that I let my depression and eating order really get the best of me. I used the people around me that I really care about as a huge emotional crutch and I didn’t work on fixating on me loving myself. I was very suicidal and I actually made an attempt on my life earlier this year. Sadly I now have a huge disconnection from them but that’s what I needed. I needed to have a group of friends who will be there for me when I need them and not to make me feel worthwhile. I should’ve known I was but the greatest thing about this blog is not only do I reflect I also improve.


This is where I am now. Mentally I’m still going through a lot of shit but I’m getting better faster than I have in a long time, I’m regularly seeing a therapist and psychiatrist. I have a more structured schedule to guideline my life, I’m active in my pursuit of self improvement and I feel like my life is actually getting direction. I finally feel like I’m getting back into a more positive self loving mindset.


Here are my short term goals. I know I will meet them because I have already been there. I hope to meet them within 3-6 months. I currently work out 6 days a week for a minimum for an hour a day. I mainly do weightlifting/plyometrics since it’s the best way to lose weight no argument about it. I watch what I eat for the time being making sure I get multivitamins in take my meds consistently and do my best to track my intake and hit my macros. I have all but quit drinking soda since I only get it when I go out which is like never, my water intake has increased dramatically, I do my best to deal with my insomnia and the most restful sleep I can manage. Oh and also I cook real meals, like actually cook, which cooking makes me very happy!


And last but not least, here are my long term goals! Now wait before you guys go and say “ThatTallSummonerGuy those goals aren’t realisitic you’re comparing yourself to cartoons and these are just soo over the top!!!” Frankly I don’t give a fuck if they are cartoons, they’re a frame of reference for me. Do I want to emulate these big baras???  Yes but I also am looking at these characters for so much more. These are the characters that made me feel good, and it’s scary to me how much a relate to these characters on a deep personal level. They aren’t just strong physically. They are strong of will, they don’t let anyone stop them from achieving their goals, they keep fighting no matter what, even to the bitter end and that’s important for me to hold onto. I have almost died more times then I would care to admit. I’ve suffered through some pretty rough shit but that shouldn’t matter, what matters is how I come out on the other side. I don’t want to look at others in real life, because I have no connection to them and I don’t want to be them, I want to be the best me I can be and if that means holding on to this crazy notion that I relate more to cartoons more than people, well shit I guess that’s how it has to be. These are men that I aspire to be(Yes even Gaston a little) I don’t want to just be big and strong. I want my life to have force behind it.

Au Naturale

Requested by: @kellbell431

                                              _________________

“Roman? What the fuck?” I called him, literally in panic mode.

“What’s going on?” he spoke, mirroring my panic. “Baby, you okay?”

“No I’m not, take it off, now,”

“What?”

It was an ordinary day, me minding my own business and stalking people on social media, as you do. The last time I’d spoken to him was last night on Facetime and I’d been an emotional wreck, crying to him that I missed him.

(What a fucking loser, who does that? Question was answered this morning when the mean reds made an appearance.)

He consoled me, counting down the days with until he got home. So anyway, he explained that he’d be very busy the next day, so I knew that meant we wouldn’t have time to speak.

That was until I went on his Twitter to see what he was up to, without having to annoy him with texts. I’m not clingy, really. He’d posted a picture of me.

23 more days until I’m home, he wrote; alongside that caption was a cropped screen print of me on Facetime last night.

I looked rough as ever, skin uneven, eyes dull; probably from all that crying. Or maybe just that was just me in my natural state. Now he was letting the whole world see that! It was urgent. I went straight for a phonecall, forget time consuming texts.

“You are freaking out over an Instagram pic?” he asked, just to make sure he heard correct.

“Yes! I’m not even wearing make-up! You don’t understand!”

Of course he didn’t, he looked glorious 24/7.

“You look fine Y/N,”

“No, Roman please? I don’t look like myself there, at least let me make myself up and I’ll send you a prettier selfie?”

He laughed, ridiculing me, not believing what he was hearing.

“What’re you worrying about?”

“I’ve never put up a photo with no make-up on, well at least not on Instagram or Twitter. Facebook yeah, because it’s all family and friends,”

“So what?” how could he be so casual at a time like this?

“Roman, people are brutal with their comments online, and I really don’t wanna put up with it right now,”

“They’ve been pleasant though, go read them for yourself,”

“Mhh-hmm, no thank you. I know if I see a negative one it will haunt me forever, please just delete it?”

“I will, if that’s what you want, but y'gotta realise that photo’s been up for three hours. Me deleting it is not gonna change anything because someone somewhere has it on their phone or blog by now,”

I died internally, my heart racing way too quickly in frustration. He was right. This was the internet. Post something and someone copies it within two seconds; the evidence lives on.

“Why did you do it then?” I snapped at him.

Then he chuckled as if I was being silly and no longer endearing, and he was getting irritated.

“Because I missed you, I thought you looked beautiful last night and I always put photos of you up. Y'gotta relax, it’s not a big deal, I’ll delete it,”

“Well there’s no point, like you said, the damage’s done, so thanks,” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not a big deal to you, but it is for me!”

“How selfish of me, I’m sorry. Calm down. It’s a picture without make-up on, not a nude. It is normal y'know?” He was going overboard with the sarcasm.

Too overwhelmed with emotions, I hung up the phone on him. He was being rude and not willing to listen to me. It was like a one-sided joke, I didn’t appreciate the sarcasm either.

Not too long after, my phone danced next to me, signalling messages, I knew they were from him.

Roman: Really?

Roman: Over that?

Roman: I’ve deleted it.

Roman: Let me know when you’ve grown up about it.

I ignored him for a short while, four hours, but who’s counting?

It wasn’t until a few hours later that I’d calmed down. It took facing the picture on multiple occasions to get desensitised to it, and over it frankly. I knew my point was valid, in my own reality; I was insecure because who wouldn’t be if you were scrutinised by the public? But so was he; right in his own world for arguing that it didn’t matter what people thought.

So why was I berating him for casually posting a photo of me makeupless - the fact that he didn’t even emphasize it or notice it until I pointed it out, made me realise like he said, that it’s normal. I was fine to him. He was celebrating me as I was.

Y/N: I’m sorry.

Y/N: I’m really a whirlwind this time around huh?

Roman: You’re a fucking pain in the butt.

Y/N: But you luuuuuurv me?

Roman: That’s the problem.

Y/N: I am really sorry, I was overdramatic and rude. I just, y'know how insecure I am. I shouldn’t have lashed out on you.

Roman: It’s cool, I understand where you were coming from, but I didn’t mean any malice.

Y/N: I know. I’m an ass.

Roman: Lucky I like your ass. Would you kill me again if I put it up?

Y/N: Back on Twitter?

Roman: No lol just deleted off there, I’ll look stupid. On my Insta?

Y/N: Okay, under one condition.

Roman: What’s that?

I giggled as I searched in my camera roll and found the picture I was looking for. I sent it to him.

Y/N: I put this up?

Roman: No!

Roman: hell fucking naaah

Roman: Nope! Forget it! No deal!

Roman: NO. BUENO!

Y/N: Why?

I was genuinely confused because it was a cute picture; I stole from his laptop.

Roman: I look like a woman with overgrown facial hair. Nah.

Y/N: that’s because you are very pretty.

Roman: Bad angle - and where the hell did you get that? It’s private

Y/N: I stole it, is that what you do? Spend time at work taking selfies? There were loooaaads on your laptop. This was my favourite. You look adorable.

Roman: There’s nothing cute about it. It’s an outtake

But there was plenty that cute about it; how serene and delicate he looked, as opposed to his stature in real life. How soft and flowy, relaxed and carefree his hair was. That was Roman chilling, comfortable in his own skin. I loved it more because of how close it was, it suggested an intimacy; as if taken in a stolen moment between two lovers conversing. It’s the way he looked into the camera, tenderly. That was the way he looked at me.

Y/N: We gotta be fair here, you’ve already exposed me to the world in my natural state. I deserve to play too

Roman: Lool this isn’t a game

Okay, so he thought. Despite his pleas, I went to my Instagram and uploaded the picture. No filter.

@wweromanreigns you sure it’s not a game? - I tagged him.

Roman: You. Ass. Game on.

He threatened, but his chain of messages got swallowed in the notifications on the likes and comments his picture garnered within twenty seconds. Within a minute, I got a notification that he’d tagged me in a photo where I was sleeping on his shoulder, mouth wide open like I was catching flies.

Game on @Y/N - he tagged back.

Fuck him. He plays dirty.

I scrolled deeper in my camera roll, where I knew the juicier stuff was. I pulled something equivalent and posted it, tagging him in an unseen photo of him in his younger days. He was wearing leggings. That’d piss him off.

Those are pretty 👀 @wweromanreigns nice and tight.

Roman: That was for a school play you bully! I was Robin Hood.

My phone vibrated as another message came through.

Roman: You sure you wanna play this dirty? I have videos!  

It was a losing game, I knew this, there was just no way I was gonna win against him, but I was gonna have fun with it.  

Y/N: I’m not worried to be honest lol! Fuck your videos.

Roman: Tell your parents you love them before I start posting, it’s about to go down!

Y/N: Yeah yeah! If you get too wild, I’ll just send you a nude to keep you quiet and busy.

Roman: Whatever, fuck your nudes; the world’s about to see you have stage fright at your sister’s wedding!

Roman: I didn’t mean that, I was just tryna be a badass. I want all your nudes!

okay im at the library and should be doing homework but i just want to say

ive been a fan of this band from the very beginning, for four years. and i honestly never thought a grammy was possible because nobody would care about a capella. i thought i would always be a niche fan and have to explain who they are when i talked about them.

but did they EVER prove me wrong. they made a name for themselves, they racked up millions upon millions of views on youtube, they went platinum, and they are truly bigger than i- and we- ever dreamed they could be.

congrats on your grammy, pentatonix. you did it and we are so proud of you.

         First off,  excuse this graphic, because honestly i haven’t done one of these types of graphics before ( i don’t think ). plus, i wanted to try && make something funny for it since this is going to honestly get somewhat emotional for me. Okay, now moving on. 

          i can’t believe that it’s been a WHOLE YEAR since i made liam. i’ve met so many nice && sweet people on here. I also made a ton of amazingly talented friends who i love a ton. it honestly means so much to me that i’ve been able to keep up with a muse like liam for so long. he’s actually been my very first permanent canon muse. i’ve never felt more connected with a muse then i have with him, && i just wanted to thank everyone who has ever roleplayed with me in helping me develop whether they have been in a canon thread, au thread or a group verse, thank you all. if it wasn’t for all of you kind people i don’t know what i would’ve done with this kid.

           i hope to keep roleplaying this guy for a long ass time, because i’m SO ATTACHED to him && all of you guys. i really can’t express how grateful i am to everyone who follows me && roleplays with me, but i’m going to try with a GIVEAWAY. i haven’t done one in months && honestly within those few months i like to think i got a tad bit better with my graphics && icons. if you’re interested in that i’ll be posting the details about it later tonight.

           anyways, below the cut is my bias list && in advance i want to apologize if i missed anyone, because honestly i’m really horrible with remembering some urls, especially if you’ve archived or changed urls. so please forgive me, know it wasn’t on purpose. i love you guys!!! thank you so much once again.

Keep reading

3

Sonia’s starting to show!

Roy: Honey? I just wanted to give you this. You know I’m not great with words, but I hope this will help convey how happy this baby’s made me. How happy you’ve made me- 

Sonia: Oh, Roy. Oh, goodness. This is very unexpected. I’m so touched. Oh dear. I’m feeling very emotional right now. Oh my. What a beautiful, romantic gesture. Really, you didn’t have to-

Roy: Okay, alright. Can you hurry up and open it? I don’t want to be late for work.

OTRA/Rainbow Direction 8/5/2015

Okay, so this was my second time at a One Direction concert and I was very nervous and very excited to see these boys again. The last time I went to see them was the Up All Night tour, so I felt like a very proud mother over here. And just like the first time, I was sitting alone and to the left of the stage. (WMYB made me so emotional) but anyway…

Although I had gone with my friend to the show, we were both in different sections having bought the tickets at a different time. She was sitting with another friend and I was by myself. 

My friend and I arrived around 5:30 at the venue. We wanted to wait for her friend to arrive so we can take pictures and what not. Luz and I were both wearing our rainbow gear and I have to say, it was a bit uncomfortable. I know there were a lot of us signed up for that show, but when we arrived there were no rainbows aside from us two in that area and we were met with glares and eye rolls from fellow fans. Since we had just arrived, I honestly ignored the looks and focused on my excitement instead. We waited for her friend for about 10 minuted before it started to rain.

We entered the venue and started walking towards my section which was 118. As we walked by, I didn’t think anyone took notice notice of our rainbows and that was fine. Anyway, we found my section, got a look at the view, and then we went walking towards my friend’s section which I believe was 145(?).

Anyway, after we checked out both sections, Luz and I decided to wait for her friend by the concession stands and that’s when a fan walked towards us.

Now, you have to understand that by this point I was feeling very uncomfortable with my rainbows due to the stares we had been getting. When I saw this fan approaching I legitimately thought to myself “Oh no. Here we go. They’re going to be rude” However, what they said to us was a thank you. This fan told us that they had also signed up for rainbow direction but they couldn’t wear their rainbows due to the fact that they had come with family and they weren’t out to them just yet. They were originally going to attend with a friend but they had a falling out. After explaining their story, they gave us both a hug and when they started tearing up, I hugged them again. 

After they had walked away I turned to Luz and started tearing up myself because honestly it had felt so shitty since we had arrived to the venue. It feels so shitty to stand out and have people glaring at you and rolling their eyes at you. This fan made it all worth while. This is what Rainbow Direction is for, you know? They couldn’t wear their rainbows proudly but they came up to us to thank us for wearing ours.

When I had to go to my section, I was all alone. I felt the people around me staring and I saw a girl looking at my bag with annoyance on her face and I started feeling shitty all over again. I was so close to taking off my rainbow wristband and putting my bag under my chair because I just wanted people to stop. Stop judging, stop with the looks. Just. Stop. But then I saw this 

And seeing that rainbow flag gave me all the confidence I need to keep my rainbows on. It made me realize that as uncomfortable as some people were making me feel, I wasn’t alone. There were so many others signed up and we were all over the place. And I thought back to the fan that approached us and it really made me realize how important thing entire campaign is. It’s nice to feel supported. It’s nice knowing that you aren’t alone.

I didn’t mean for this to get long. Anyway, the concert was amazing. The boys were great and they were happy and Harry Styles is the literal sun. Thank you to the person wearing a rainbow flag as a cape. I was ready to cry and give up on this project but your colors gave me confidence. And to the fan that came up to us, I hope you have a good support system at home. If not, then I really hope you find comfort within the fandom. And thank you for coming up to us and sharing your story. It made everything worthwhile.

& aftermath

A mix for the emotions Rose Tyler might have felt following the events of The Girl in the Fireplace.

Only Love Can Hurt Like This - Paloma Faith // 1000 Times - Sara Bareilles // I Don’t Wanna Be In Love - Dark Waves // All You Never Say - Birdy // Wanted You More - Lady Antebellum // Linger - The Cranberries // Skinny Love - Birdy // Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars // Just Give Me a Reason - P!ink ft Nate Ruess // Slow Me Down - Sara Evans // Say You’re Sorry - Sara Bareilles // Try - The xx // Please Don’t Say You Love Me - Gabrielle Aplin

// listen

"The Debate" and "Parade Day" simultaneous release

After hearing a single section of The Debate after listening to Parade day, something extremely important comes to mind. They released these on the same day for a reason.

Parade Day was horrible. it made my gut turn to ice, it made me cry. I legitimately cried for the first time in a NEGATIVE way over Night Vale. I’ve cried while laughing, cried at the beauty of the words, but never out of this much damn emotion.

The Debate… I think this is Fink’s way of having mercy on us. Obviously there’s comic relief. I haven’t listened to all of it yet but it seems to hearken back to the early episodes where you felt okay about laughing. Besides, live shows need to have that sort of positive attitude in order to get that very unique reaction from the audience.

I’m… scared, after Parade Day. Very scared. Already the fandom has leapt to action, decording the morse code used, throwing absolute, sad tantrums, and basically having a very similar reaction to mine. God I hope we can pull together.

But really. We felt so RESPONSIBLE in this episode.

It is OUR. Fault.

Cecil made that very clear.

WTNV is good with the fourth wall. The listener in a way exists within it. We are “Night Vale”. We’re brought into the four walls instead of Cecil extending out of it. And that’s wonderful.

But Parade Day… I felt that line crossed. I felt my heart shrink and turn to ice, I felt shame.

…A huge, huge round of applause to the writers.

And by the unholy voidian gods, I hate them.