this made me laugh harder than it should have

Aliens and glitter

Aliens baffled by glitter.

Torg noticed it as he was walking down the hall of the crew quarters a few small spects of dust reflecing light but thought nothing of it. Then a trail of it leading farther down the hall. Perhaps metal dust from someone in engineering? Torg followed it as it made him very concerned. Thinking it would lead him to an engineers rooms he was shocked to see that it lead to human Ali’s room from medical. Torg knocked on her door panicked as to what could have happened to one of their human medical staff. “Human Ali are you in there? Is everthing ok?” Torg’s tranlator let out just as the door opened to reveal the tiny redheaded human covered in the tiny bits of varying colored sparkly bits brandishing a small vacuum equally covered in sparkly things. Her eyes were slighty puffy. Torg shocked he looked her up and down instant worry crossed his face he thought maybe this was Human Condition where they would shed sparkly bits and was instantly concerned that it was contagious! “Hu-human A-a-ali are you okay?!” he stuttered as he took more than a few steps back. Ali looked down at herself then started laughing. Torg became even more concerned “Shall I call medical for you? You are crying doees it hurt? Should I not touch it? Is it contagious?” This only seemed to have caused human Ali to laugh harder resulting in the sparkly bits flying off of her. Human Ali managed to calm herself down enough to talk, “I’m sorry Torg. This is only glitter. My kids mailed home made cards saying they missed me and how proud they are of me. It made me miss them so it made me cry. Though I thought I told my wife not to let them use glitter when they make me cards as it can get in the ventaltion and cause problem. I was just on my way out to cleaup the mess i made in the hallway. Oh you didn’t touch it did you? This stuff is a pain in the ass to get off. So I guess in a way it is contagious. Freakin craft herpes…” Human Ali rattled off as she swooped down to suck up the ‘glitter’ that had gathered around her feet and inspeacking Torg’s for some too. She stopped and looked up to him with a very serious look in her eyes “Don’t tell the captain.” Then went back to cleaning.

The Crush -Sherlock X Reader

Requested: Yes IM SORRY TAKE SO LONG

Warnings: Minor language

Summary: Reader has a crush and asks Sherlock for advice.

***************************


Y/N was head over heels in love with Sherlock Holmes; that much was plain to see. 

Well, I mean, for most people. 

John knew it. So did Lestrade. Oh, and Molly, and Mrs. Hudson, and even Mycroft were all fully aware of the massive crush Y/N had had on him for a long time. Really, the only person unaware was none other than Sherlock himself. 

In his defense, he tended to avoid Y/N. Actually, no, he loved being around Y/N, taking every excusable chance to be with her, just not looking at her. At least not when she was looking. She was pretty, what could he say? It wasn’t his fault for that. 

It was one of those afternoons–Y/N had come over for her reserved time at 221B, sipping cautiously on the hot tea Mrs. Hudson had prepared for them. John was out on some sort of date that particular day, and that let Sherlock all to himself as he avoided Y/N’s eyes. 

Perhaps if he had looked, he would have seen how they were dilated when she looked at him. 

“Sherlock,” Y/N said, breaking their heavy silence. 

His head shot up, eyes resting on the wall behind her. “Yes?”

“I have this problem,” she said slowly. An idea had formed in her mind; one that was risky and probably stupid, but one that she was willing to try nonetheless. 

“What sort of problem?” Sherlock asked. 

Y/N hesitated for only a moment. “A boy problem.”

He felt something in his stomach shift uncomfortably. His eyes focused in the saucer in his hands. “You know I’m not one for romance, Y/N.”

“I know,” she replied. “But could we try something?”

“Something like what?”

“Something like this: I describe the man I’m having trouble with, and you tell me whether or not I stand a chance.”

You stand a chance with anyone, Sherlock thought to himself. He quickly shook it off, deciding to not let any sort of sentiment take over. “I suppose,” he finally said. 

“Well,” she started. “He’s tall. Dark hair, brilliant blue eyes. Sort of skinny, I guess, but–”

“Sounds like a character sketch,” Sherlock complained. “Are you filing a police report or describing a man you’re… fond of?" 

The last words had gotten stuck in his throat for whatever reason, but he chose not to dwell on that. Or the fact that the man Y/N was describing seemed ideal for a woman. 

"Okay, fine,” Y/N mumbled with a small chuckle. It was almost like she knew something he didn’t… “He’s not particularly kind–”

“Then why do you like him?” He questioned quickly. 

“Because I can see past that,” she insisted. “He’s brilliant. Absolutely brilliant, but also a complete idiot.”

“Idiot?” Sherlock frowned. “If you hadn’t described him physically, I might be worried you were talking about Anderson." 

For whatever reason, the comment made her laugh harder than it should have. 

"God, no. It’s not Anderson,” she assured him through her laughter. 

“Then who the hell is it?” Sherlock cried. “You’ve described someone who seems like the man of your dreams, so why don’t you just go and ask him on a date?!”

Something in Y/N snapped, just a bit. “He’s not really one to date, Sherlock! I think you should know that!”

He stood. “How? How would I know that? This man is a stranger to me!”

“No he–God!” Y/N stood in front of him, inches from his face. He tried not to recoil back from the frustration in her expression. 

“It’s you, you bloody idiot! I was talking about you! You’re the man I’m in love with!” she yelled. 

Sherlock stood there, stuck in a state of shock. Y/N didn’t know what to do, so anxiously, she sat back down. 

“Well, now you know,” she muttered. 

“You… It was me, I’m the man you’re in love with?” Sherlock said slowly. 

“That’s what I just said, wasn’t it?” Y/N retorted, trying not to cry as tears burned behind her eyes. 

Sherlock swallowed. “You asked me if you had a chance with the man, and the answer is yes.”

Her head shot up. “Y-yes?" 

Kneeling down to meet her eyes, he nodded. "Y/N, I have been feeling… Feelings toward you for quite some time. I was sure you could never feel the same.”

Y/N’s arms wrapped suddenly around his torso  in a tight hug. “I thought the same thing,” she admitted. 

She felt Sherlock chuckle, slowly wrapping his arms around her. “I’m glad we were wrong." 

rosiered194  asked:

"hey uh, shneeps, its your day to do Sean's videos remember?" "Ugh, vhile I love making zem, I hate trying to zound like him" "... We all know ur accent is fake." "SHUT UP ANTI, NO IT IZNT MEIN GERMAN BLOOD IZ STRONG" "Yeah, no. Anyway, at least YOU don't have to bent reality and squash down all your powers just to look like the fool" "JUZT BECAUSE YOU CANT VEAR YOUR STUPID WANNABE PUNK 'I HATE MY PARENTS' LOOK DOEZNT MEAN LIFE IZ TOUGH" "FUCK YOU"

this made me laugh a lot harder than it should have probably omg 😂

Food

Request: So Ramadan request. It’s the first day and the team goes out of their way to make the readers first fast comfortable. They keep the tower cool. Don’t play any music too loud. And then Steve and Buck make the reader a feast for Iftar (with the help of Natasha cause they’d probably burn the kitchen down) and then bucky walks in to the readers room whilst they’re praying and asks a few questions once they’re done and it’s just fluffy - Anonamous

Triggers: Fasting, mentions of religion.

Word Count: 1300+

A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying Ramadan and the long nights aren’t too bad. Eid Mubarak for next week and If you aren’t religious, enjoy your food and please drink coffee for me.

*Send in an ask to be added to my permanent tag list*

Masterlist

Originally posted by gliceria

Originally posted by visitgreece-gr

‘So, wait, no food. No water. Nothing. For 30 days’ Tony asked. No one in the compound knew much about Islam and Ramadan started tomorrow so, naturally, everyone was very interested.

‘Only when the sun’s up’ you replied. You didn’t mind answering their questions, it was nice that they cared about you enough to want to know more about you.

‘Does it have to be in summer?’ Steve asking a question this time. He had walked in on you eating half the kitchen earlier that day so you explained 

‘Well it changes every year because the Islamic calendar is based on the moon, so in a few years I’ll be able fast easier’

‘Isn’t it… bad for you?’ Bucky was usually silent, just following Steve around or staying in the gym. But when he spoke his voice was soft, and if you didn’t pay attention you could miss it.

‘Well there’s some recent research that suggests that actually quite good for your body. It gives your body time to stop digesting and sort out other problems. I know quite a few people who do it despite not being religious’ you heard a small “oh” from the large man, and knowing he must have felt like he insulted you you carried on. ‘Doesn’t mean it’s fun, though’ He let out a small chuckle, and you knew he was okay again.

‘Okay, so anything we can do to make your time easier?’

‘Umm… Probably just don’t break the AC, it’s hot’ you giggled.

 ‘You hear that?’ Natasha directed her question to Tony and Bruce who’s last experiment cost the whole tower’s AC and took a week to fix. 

Winking at you, Tony saluted white saying ‘Ey, ey Captain’

Keep reading

This panel made me laugh harder than it should have 😂
Jinghua’s cursing is hilarious!

He actually was cursing in that speech bubble but I had no idea how to translate it so MADE UP CURSING IT IS! tbh you’d know it’s me and not Mimi (my on again off again translator) translating when there’s random cursing like that lol

2

This exchange made me laugh harder than it should have.


(I dont know what PudgeMuffin looks like so I guess he’s a guy with a cherry on his head.)