Hiii, first of all I wanted to say I really really really loved never gonna dance again so much, and I have a very good feeling it's one of those fics I'm going to not be able to stop thinking about for months. I have a question, though and I hope you don't mind me asking!! So, in the end it says Louis tells Harry about him being the red eyed stranger as if he had no idea so I'm wondering how Harry was leaving him messages (especially the "you are a spy" night) and not knowing about it [1/2]
[2/2] and especially bc he saw Louis and knew his name in the store and I don’t think that would’ve been while he was controlled bc those aren’t things Mikhail would’ve done, right? And I had another question about when Harry was back to his “cold distant ballet dancer Harry” mode. This Harry knew Louis as his teacher but not of their history so was he just put into sleeper mode without the trigger word said? I really hope this makes sense and you don’t mind me asking, again I loved the fic ty!!
hiii hello!!! first of all thank you for sending these asks they just made my day i love being asked things <3
THIS ASK CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN.
OKAY SO i envisioned three different harrys whilst writing the fic:
1) real harry who has no idea of ANYTHING happening outside of ballet and being in love with louis, who has to have everything explained to him at the end.
2) cold distant ballet dancer harry who has no idea of anything outside of ballet. that’s it: he doesn’t know he’s in love with louis. outside of their trigger word and their assassin mode, these dancers have been consistently brainwashed throughout their entire lives. the trigger word is for them to turn into assassins at the blink of an eye (ie: at the performance, it was mighty lions, so they’d be triggered right in that moment and attack) but they are also brainwashed outside of attacking. so cold distant ballet dancer harry is normal harry that has been brainwashed to /forget/ that he ever loved louis. it’s terrible and fucked up but so is everything the red room represents.
3) sleeper harry who has no idea of anything outside of being an assassin. he’s the best assassin that the reinvented red room has and he’s clever and smart and to an extent, has control of himself. only to an extent. so after louis has his interview to become the dancing instructor, this sleeper harry is sent by mikhail after louis to see if he’s legitimate. not to assassinate him but to retrieve information, as the original ballerinas of the red room did, and as i said, sleeper harry is very intelligent and picked up relatively quickly that louis is not alexander sharpe and that he is a spy. and he’s fascinated even though he shouldn’t be. he’s never seen someone LIKE him in the sense that they can match him in a fight and just the ~beings of an assassin without being an assassin if that makes sense.
but louis is so DIFFERENT from him, so good, so pure (as far as harry can see anyways) and he’s not being forced into this, not the way harry is and it’s peculiar and interesting and harry can’t help but continue to look into louis which is why he follows him to the store when louis is buying ballet shoes. sleeper harry is also a little bit of a shit and like i said, incredibly fascinated, which is why he steals louis’ shoes after telling him to be more careful (which he did as both a taunt and an actual warning: he knows what mikhail is capable of and louis is far, far too obvious. if any of the other sleepers had been sent after louis, he’d have been figured out too easily. any other sleeper would’ve reported back to mikhail immediately, reported their findings of louis being a spy. but not harry. anyways, louis doesn’t pay any heed to his warning so what does it really matter that sleeper harry, who supposedly has no emotions, cares enough to warn a spy he doesn’t even really know? ;) well) and he keeps the shoes, as a momento of this strange spy who has captured harry’s undeniable interest.
continuing on, this sleeper harry is all too aware of louis’ spy doings but chooses to tell mikhail that alexander sharpe is a suitable teacher. there’s no promise there that alexander sharpe will be the instructor but there’s a hope inside of sleeper harry that he doesn’t understand and isn’t willing to chase after but won’t actively push away either. so sleeper harry does as mikhail says, does his assassin activities, trains his heart out, continues to be the best but in the back of his mind, always lurks spy louis.
and again, i’ll reiterate that sleeper harry does NOT know what happens in real harry’s life but that doesn’t change that harry, whoever he is, no matter what state, will always love louis. loves louis so so deeply. and sleeper harry feels the side effects of it, feels a creeping affection for this spy for no reason that he can understand. so when sleeper harry meets louis to return his shoes, it’s because he knows that their performance is coming up and everything can only go to shit. it’s his way of saying goodbye, of getting closure of his fascination but still, he will not tell mikhail (but mikhail has figured out on his own at this point, how could he not?) and so when sleeper harry kisses louis with poisonous lipstick, it’s with so much regret and yet no choice, because as much free will as he has, he still has to take direct orders.
furthermore, when louis finally finds where mikhail is hiding out with the sleepers, mikhail tells harry to stop sulking over poisoning a spy: because that is what sleeper harry is doing. he thinks that louis is dead and he is the reason and he hates it, hates what he’s a product of what has no choice but to deal with it and live on. he is an assassin, louis is a spy and their worlds do not overlap.
until they do.
**anyways, sorry for this essay and i hope you don’t mind that i published this publicly for others’ reference. thank you again for the asks! <3