this looks terrible then again so does all of my shit i'm done goodbye

jaspup  asked:

Hiii, first of all I wanted to say I really really really loved never gonna dance again so much, and I have a very good feeling it's one of those fics I'm going to not be able to stop thinking about for months. I have a question, though and I hope you don't mind me asking!! So, in the end it says Louis tells Harry about him being the red eyed stranger as if he had no idea so I'm wondering how Harry was leaving him messages (especially the "you are a spy" night) and not knowing about it [1/2]

[2/2] and especially bc he saw Louis and knew his name in the store and I don’t think that would’ve been while he was controlled bc those aren’t things Mikhail would’ve done, right? And I had another question about when Harry was back to his “cold distant ballet dancer Harry” mode. This Harry knew Louis as his teacher but not of their history so was he just put into sleeper mode without the trigger word said? I really hope this makes sense and you don’t mind me asking, again I loved the fic ty!!

hiii hello!!! first of all thank you for sending these asks they just made my day i love being asked things <3

THIS ASK CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN.

OKAY SO i envisioned three different harrys whilst writing the fic:

1) real harry who has no idea of ANYTHING happening outside of ballet and being in love with louis, who has to have everything explained to him at the end.

2) cold distant ballet dancer harry who has no idea of anything outside of ballet. that’s it: he doesn’t know he’s in love with louis. outside of their trigger word and their assassin mode, these dancers have been consistently brainwashed throughout their entire lives. the trigger word is for them to turn into assassins at the blink of an eye (ie: at the performance, it was mighty lions, so they’d be triggered right in that moment and attack) but they are also brainwashed outside of attacking. so cold distant ballet dancer harry is normal harry that has been brainwashed to /forget/ that he ever loved louis. it’s terrible and fucked up but so is everything the red room represents.

3) sleeper harry who has no idea of anything outside of being an assassin. he’s the best assassin that the reinvented red room has and he’s clever and smart and to an extent, has control of himself. only to an extent. so after louis has his interview to become the dancing instructor, this sleeper harry is sent by mikhail after louis to see if he’s legitimate. not to assassinate him but to retrieve information, as the original ballerinas of the red room did, and as i said, sleeper harry is very intelligent and picked up relatively quickly that louis is not alexander sharpe and that he is a spy. and he’s fascinated even though he shouldn’t be. he’s never seen someone LIKE him in the sense that they can match him in a fight and just the ~beings of an assassin without being an assassin if that makes sense. 

but louis is so DIFFERENT from him, so good, so pure (as far as harry can see anyways) and he’s not being forced into this, not the way harry is and it’s peculiar and interesting and harry can’t help but continue to look into louis which is why he follows him to the store when louis is buying ballet shoes. sleeper harry is also a little bit of a shit and like i said, incredibly fascinated, which is why he steals louis’ shoes after telling him to be more careful (which he did as both a taunt and an actual warning: he knows what mikhail is capable of and louis is far, far too obvious. if any of the other sleepers had been sent after louis, he’d have been figured out too easily. any other sleeper would’ve reported back to mikhail immediately, reported their findings of louis being a spy. but not harry. anyways, louis doesn’t pay any heed to his warning so what does it really matter that sleeper harry, who supposedly has no emotions, cares enough to warn a spy he doesn’t even really know? ;) well) and he keeps the shoes, as a momento of this strange spy who has captured harry’s undeniable interest. 

continuing on, this sleeper harry is all too aware of louis’ spy doings but chooses to tell mikhail that alexander sharpe is a suitable teacher. there’s no promise there that alexander sharpe will be the instructor but there’s a hope inside of sleeper harry that he doesn’t understand and isn’t willing to chase after but won’t actively push away either. so sleeper harry does as mikhail says, does his assassin activities, trains his heart out, continues to be the best but in the back of his mind, always lurks spy louis. 

and again, i’ll reiterate that sleeper harry does NOT know what happens in real harry’s life but that doesn’t change that harry, whoever he is, no matter what state, will always love louis. loves louis so so deeply. and sleeper harry feels the side effects of it, feels a creeping affection for this spy for no reason that he can understand. so when sleeper harry meets louis to return his shoes, it’s because he knows that their performance is coming up and everything can only go to shit. it’s his way of saying goodbye, of getting closure of his fascination but still, he will not tell mikhail (but mikhail has figured out on his own at this point, how could he not?) and so when sleeper harry kisses louis with poisonous lipstick, it’s with so much regret and yet no choice, because as much free will as he has, he still has to take direct orders. 

furthermore, when louis finally finds where mikhail is hiding out with the sleepers, mikhail tells harry to stop sulking over poisoning a spy: because that is what sleeper harry is doing. he thinks that louis is dead and he is the reason and he hates it, hates what he’s a product of what has no choice but to deal with it and live on. he is an assassin, louis is a spy and their worlds do not overlap.

until they do.

**anyways, sorry for this essay and i hope you don’t mind that i published this publicly for others’ reference. thank you again for the asks! <3

Heavenly Commentary: Deathly Hallows Pt1
  • Sirius: I can't believe he broke the mirror.
  • James: Didn't really need it, did he?
  • Sirius: Still. I liked that mirror.
  • ***
  • Lily: That's a nice little tribute.
  • Albus: Yes. Elphias always was a generous man. Although Rita Skeeters is far more thrilling.
  • James: Harry thinks otherwise.
  • Albus: He will learn the truth. That no one is without regret. Rita Skeeter was surprisingly quick.
  • Cedric: Even dead we can't get rid of her.
  • ***
  • James: I never thought I'd see Harry trying so hard to save these people. After everything they’ve done to him.
  • Lily: Our son is better than us both.
  • ***
  • James: That was downright emotional for Dudley.
  • Albus: I imagine that he is beginning to see through the veil of his youth. One’s parents are not always correct.
  • ***
  • James: The guard is all here.
  • Lily: Obviously. Oh yeah. How was Moony’s wedding?
  • Sirius: Simple. You know him. Not an extravagant bone in his body.
  • James: I'm betting Tonks got an extravagant bon-OW!
  • Lily: Shut up!
  • ***
  • Cedric: Seven Harry Potters fly out of a house. What does Voldemort do?
  • Albus: He will assume they will give the real Harry to Alastor. As he is the strongest wizard present. He is unable to understand that strength is not the factor here.
  • Sirius: I don't understand. Who is taking Harry?
  • Albus: Hagrid of course. There is no one there who loves Harry quite like Hagrid.
  • ***
  • James: Even dead you're right.
  • Albus: It appears not all habits die hard.
  • ***
  • Lily: I have a bad feeling. Nothing is ever this easy.
  • James: Oh shit. No!
  • Hedwig: Hoot hoot.
  • Cedric: Trust me. I know.
  • ***
  • James: I thought he was going to die.
  • Lily: How did Harry do that? He didn't look in any shape to defend himself.
  • Albus: I have my theories. But imagine the suspense if I choose not to share them.
  • Sirius: I never said this when we were alive but, you're a dick.
  • Alastor: I said that constantly.
  • Albus: Old friend! It's terrible to see you here. Welcome to the party.
  • Alastor: Where are we?
  • Albus: The next great adventure. Your appearance is rather disconcerting with two normal eyes.
  • ***
  • Lily: Poor George.
  • James: Everyone is going crazy. They've been betrayed.
  • Sirius: And of course Snape cursed his ear off. Part of the plan Albus?
  • Albus: Let's find out.
  • ***
  • Alastor: Grieve later fools. Fight the war now.
  • Cedric: Constant vigilance?
  • Alastor: Exactly.
  • ***
  • James: Remus says Harry is like me and yet he makes it sound like an insult.
  • Lily: Because it was. Something is broken inside of him.
  • ***
  • Sirius: They've done all this?
  • James: They're children going to war. What do you expect?
  • ***
  • Lily: That had the feeling of a kiss goodbye.
  • Alastor: Smart girl.
  • ***
  • James: Happy birthday harry.
  • Lily: He's all grown up now.
  • James: But he's still our boy.
  • ***
  • Sirius: You left them stuff?
  • Albus: But of course. A few trinkets I hope will be of use. Oh Rufus. If only you put this energy into helping me.
  • ***
  • James: The Snitch he swallowed. Damn it but that's genius.
  • Albus: Thank you.
  • Lily: “I open at the close”?
  • Albus: I have always appreciated a healthy use of theatricality.
  • ***
  • Lily: Of course Luna would recognise him. I really do adore that girl.
  • ***
  • James: Do you remember our wedding?
  • Lily: I'll never forget it.
  • James: I wish we could have had something like this. Not the rushed one we had.
  • Lily: It was perfect and I'll never think otherwise.
  • ***
  • Albus: Ah fate. It is always nice to know when one is on the right path.
  • Sirius: ...ok?
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh...Albus is this tr-
  • Alastor: Enough.
  • Cedric: But Prof-
  • Alastor: Enough! There are bigger problems right now.
  • James: The Ministry has fallen.
  • Cedric: Then it's over.
  • Albus: No Mr Diggory. Now it begins.
  • ***
  • Alastor: Excellent Miss Granger. She's prepared.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Why are they being so nice?
  • Sirius: It’s not actually mercy if they can't actually kill them.
  • ***
  • Albus: Charming, Alastor. But those would not stop Severus. Given his innocence they wouldn't need to.
  • Alastor: What?
  • Cedric: I'll fill you in.
  • Hedwig: Hoot.
  • ***
  • James: Oh man, do you remember that picture?
  • Sirius: Last day of our first year. We were children.
  • James: But not for very long
  • ***
  • Lily: I remember that letter. What happened to the rest of it?
  • James: Probably Snape. Greasy bastard.
  • Albus: ...
  • Sirius: Just because he's on a secret mission to save the world doesn't mean he can't be a bastard.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Regulus, oh God. You did...why didn't you tell me?
  • James: Like Hermione said. He was trying to protect you
  • Albus: Did you find your younger brother Mr Black?
  • Sirius: No.
  • Albus: Wherever he is, I honour him. I would never have been able to drink that potion alone.
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh Remus...no.
  • James: Why would he...
  • Lily: Har- oh no.
  • Sirius: Moony...
  • James: You did good Harry. You did the right thing.
  • ***
  • James: No. No!
  • Lily: NO! FUCK THAT BITCH! NOT AGAIN!
  • James: FINISH HER! END HER LIFE!
  • ***
  • Alastor: Fools! Do they think these kids are going to school?
  • Sirius: They don't think. Wow, Kreacher looks...happy.
  • Cedric: I guess that's what happens when you're treated with common decency.
  • ***
  • Lily: Do you think they're ready?
  • Alastor: As ready as they'll ever be.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Don't ask a teenage boy what he was doing in the bathroom, Hermione. You may not like the answer.
  • Lily: I swear I will hit you.
  • ***
  • Albus: Let the games begin.
  • ***
  • Lily: Those are muggle bodies. I think I'm going to be sick.
  • ***
  • James: That's why he was so eager to get to work. His wife is on trial.
  • Lily: It’s not a trial. It's a sentencing.
  • ***
  • Lily: Holy shit. It's her!
  • Cedric: Why can't they just take the locket and run?
  • James: Because they don't know if she still has it. And stealth is still needed.
  • Albus: Also because that man is the Minister himself.
  • ***
  • Alastor: I think I preferred it when Crouch Jnr had it.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Mr Weasley is terrifying.
  • James: I think Harry agrees.
  • ***
  • Lily: Well so much for stealth!
  • James: Don't look at me like that! He's your son too!
  • Sirius: They might actually make it out.
  • Lily: Crap! Yaxley has them! He's seen Grimmauld Place!
  • Cedric: So where are we now?
  • ***
  • Lily: Ron must be really afraid if he's stopped saying “Voldemort”.
  • Albus: Perhaps not the most foolish of precautions.
  • ***
  • Alastor: You know why he's after Gregorovitch, don't you Albus.
  • Albus: I do. I'm curious to see if it will work.
  • ***
  • Alastor: Not a Christian but I appreciate the effort Potter.
  • ***
  • James: Ron isn't holding up too well.
  • Alastor: Some people aren't cut out for field work.
  • ***
  • Lily: The sword...?
  • Albus: Indeed.
  • James: So where is it?
  • Albus: Therein lies the question.
  • ***
  • Lily: He left...
  • James: I can't believe it. He's gone...
  • ***
  • Cedric: That's it then. He can't find them. He's really gone.
  • Albus: Perhaps.
  • ***
  • James: He doesn't care about the sword. He wants to go home.
  • Lily: Back to where it all started.
  • ***
  • James: Welcome home Lily.
  • Lily: I never thought th- they built us a statue?
  • James: Damn right they did.
  • Sirius: Where’s my statue? Bastards.
  • James: Why would they build you one idiot? You helped kill us. Remember?
  • ***
  • Cedric: I thought Dumbledore would be here to see his family’s graves. But I'm guessing he's actually with them now so never mind.
  • ***
  • Lily: He's crying...
  • James: So are we...
  • ***
  • James: Do you think they would've gone to all this trouble if Voldemort hadn’t been defeated?
  • Lily: Of course not. We'd have been just three more victims.
  • ***
  • James: Something isn't right. Bathilda was the sharpest woman I've ever met.
  • Lily: And now she looks...dead.
  • Albus: That would be because she is indeed deceased.
  • Sirius: How could you know that?
  • Albus: I just came from visiting her.
  • Cedric: Then who is that?
  • Alastor: What, not who. And that is Bait.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Holy fucking shit!
  • James: Run Harry!
  • Lily: Hermione! That was close. What's wrong with him?
  • Albus: I believe he is trapped inside the memories of Voldemort. The memories associated with the last time he stood there.
  • Lily: Oh...
  • ***
  • James: Grindelwald?!?
  • ***
  • Lily: Do you have anything to say?
  • Albus: Keep watching.
  • ***
  • James: Is that a...
  • Lily: Snape. That's his patronus.
  • Cedric: How do you know?
  • Lily: Because that's mine.
  • ***
  • Lily: Take the Horcrux off. Take the Horcrux off. Take the Horcrux off.
  • James: Dammit Harry.
  • Cedric: This can't end well.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I take that back!
  • Sirius: About damn time Ron!
  • ***
  • Lily: Family.
  • ***
  • James: This is genuinely hilarious.
  • Cedric: Hermione is a badass.
  • Lily: So cute. They're all back together.
  • ***
  • Albus: Ah boys. I wish I was there to help. But alas I am not.
  • ***
  • Alastor: More breadcrumbs Albus? If you trust Severus so much why didn't you just give him a letter to send to them?
  • Albus: Old friend, in this matter, the journey is far more important than the goal itself.
  • ***
  • James: The Deathly Hallows?
  • Lily: What are they?
  • Sirius: A children's story.
  • Albus: I think you'll find, Mr Black, that most children's stories are based on truth.
  • ***
  • Alastor: They should never have come here!
  • Cedric: They took his daughter! He had no choice.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Albus...are the Hallows real?
  • Albus: They are.
  • Sirius: How do you know? How can you be sure?
  • Albus: Because I've held them all.
  • ***
  • Lily: I really hope you haven't just split them apart again.
  • Albus: They are behaving as I expected them to.
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh it’s good to hear them again.
  • Sirius: Keep the faith.
  • James: NO! Ah Harry don't use the name.
  • ***
  • Alastor: Stay calm. Stick to your story.
  • Cedric: Too late. They've been found out.
  • James: They're taking him to Voldemort.
  • Lily: I think Harry is with him already.
  • ***
  • Albus: Poor Draco. I tried to help him.
  • Sirius: No you did the bare minimum. If you really tried to help him then we wouldn't be watching this.
  • Albus: I do believe you're right. But necessity demanded.
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh God. They're going to torture her.
  • ***
  • James: The mirror?
  • Sirius: What use is that going to be?
  • ***
  • Sirius: Pettigrew! You treacherous bastard!
  • James: Wait! What? No!
  • Lily: ...he's dead. What just happened.
  • Albus: Love. Mercy. Forgiveness. Things such as these can forge terribly great magic. Harry spared Pettigrews life and created a debt. Peter's hand, a construct of pure magic, just repaid it.
  • ***
  • Sirius: He's not here.
  • James: I don't think he wanted to meet the two people he betrayed and the one he blackmailed.
  • Sirius: He's gotten smarter. But I think I'll hunt him down.
  • ***
  • Albus: Oh my...
  • Lily: He's coming! You have to go!
  • James: Woah that was close! DOBBY! Excellent timing!
  • Cedric: Shell Cottage. Nice na- oh no. Don't...
  • Dobby: Master Dumbledore sir. What has happened?
  • James: Dobby. We are Harry Potters parents. We've been watching you help our son for five years. You've been so noble. So brave.
  • Lily: We want you to know, we love you so much Dobby. And you will always be with friends here.
  • Dobby: Kind Miss has Harry Potters eyes.
  • ***
  • Dobby: Such kind words from Sirs and Misses. And Harry Potter is sad.
  • Lily: Of course he is sad. He loved you more than we do. He is your friend.
  • ***
  • James: I don't understand what's going on.
  • Lily: Me neither.
  • Alastor: Then why don't you both shut up and listen to your son explain it all?
  • ***
  • Albus: Harry. You amazing young man. I'm proud of you my boy.
  • James: You had the Elder Wand? You took it from Grindelwald?
  • Albus: I did.
  • Lily: And why not give it to Harry?
  • Albus: You must pay closer attention Mrs Potter.
  • ***
  • Cedric: So we're planning again. But this time to break into Gringotts.
  • James: Should be fun. Did Godric really steal the sword?
  • Albus: It’s quite possible. No human account would ever admit to it. And who's to say the goblin history isn't biased either.
  • Lily: You were a teacher right?
  • ***
  • James: You're back. Moony has a son.
  • Sirius: Well I’ll be dammed. Good for you mate.
  • Lily: He looks so happy.
  • ***
  • Alastor: Weasley. As subtle as ever.
  • Cedric: Hermione is the only one who appreciates subtlety. The other two prefer a wand to the face.
  • ***
  • Albus: Once more unto the breach
  • ***
  • James: I recognise his voice.
  • Lily: Travers is the one who almost killed me. And then you dropped your wand and beat him half to death.
  • Sirius: Potter, your laziness is biting your son in the arse. “Half to death” finish the job!
  • ***
  • Lily: He just used the Imperius Curse...
  • James: It was necessary.
  • Alastor: Be grateful he's managed to avoid killing anyone. What was your bodycount?
  • Lily: More than zero.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Dammit! This is the ministry all over again.
  • James: Onwards. Get the Horcrux.
  • ***
  • Lily: They’ve got i- GODDAMMIT GRIPHOOK!
  • Alastor: They should have never trusted the goblin!
  • James: They had no choice! Time to go son!
  • Lily: WHY DOES HE ALWAYS INSIST ON FLYING!
  • JAMES: WHY ARE YOU HITTING ME??
  • Lily: BECAUSE IT'S YOUR FAULT!
  • ***
  • Cedric: They did it. They got the cup.
  • Sirius: Lost the sword.
  • Albus: They did well. But now Tom Riddle will know what they are hunting.
  • James: He already knows. Now what?
  • Lily: To Hogwarts.
  • Dobby: Once again Harry Potter frees a poor and hurt creature. He is truly great.
  • Albus: You are correct Dobby. He really is.
  • ***
  • James: They're in trouble!
  • Sirius: They need to-
  • Albus: Brother.
  • ***
  • Lily: Your brother isn't being helpful.
  • Albus: He's worrying more about their safety than their success. He's a better man than I ever was.
  • ***
  • James: Oh...
  • Lily: Albus...oh Albus I'm so sorry.
  • Albus: I should introduce you to my family. They would like you. But that may have to wait. I believe we are about to go home.
  • ***
  • Alastor: The war came to Hogwarts.
  • Albus: And here it will end. Never tickle a sleeping dragon.
  • ***
  • James: Use them Harry. You need the help
  • ***
  • Sirius: Why would you step out from the cloak?
  • James: He can handle Alecto.
  • Lily: So can Luna.
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh good. He's used Cruciatus.
  • James: Let's just hope he doesn't need to use the last one.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Oh great. This dick.
  • James: Oh man! Look at Minnie go! Kick his ass!
  • Lily: They're on the same side!
  • Sirius: So?
  • ***
  • Sirius: I wish I was there. One last battle.
  • James: Me too Padfoot.
  • Sirius: Although...maybe not at this very moment.
  • Lily: This is so awkward. Jeez Fleur, really?
  • ***
  • Lily: Aww they made up.
  • Alastor: Just in time to die.
  • James: Death did not make you any cheerier did it?
  • ***
  • Cedric: See I’m impressed by the visual. But the fact that it’s always Slytherin versus the other three, seems to highlight a major problem in this school.
  • Albus: I agree Mr Diggory. A simple idea that has such permanent consequences.
  • ***
  • James: In the middle of a battle and he forgets what he's doing.
  • Lily: Has your attention span.
  • James: Why is it that every bad thing comes from me?
  • ***
  • Albus: The Grey Lady. Harry you marvelous young man.
  • Dobby: Ghost Miss Ravenclaw has always been kind to me.
  • Albus: Ah of course! Before he met with me. In case I escorted him out.
  • James: But where did he hide it?
  • Albus: I do not know. But I believe Harry does.
  • ***
  • Lily: Even now he is loyal to you.
  • ***
  • Cedric: Chamber of Secrets? Hell of a romantic date Ron.
  • Albus: Aaahh of course. These children are magnificent.
  • ***
  • Lily: It’s about damn time!
  • James: They're really going at it.
  • Alastor: Timing. Idiots.
  • ***
  • James: Sirius is following Tonks. Cedric and Alastor have gone to see other people.
  • Lily: I guess it's just us then.
  • Albus: Fitting in a way.
  • Dobby: Yes sir.
  • Hedwig: Hoot.
  • ***
  • Lily: These three again?
  • James: When are old school enemies not welcome?
  • ***
  • James: He just tried to kill Hermione...
  • Lily: Were we like this?
  • James: Probably.
  • ***
  • James: Fucking fiendfyre! You crazy bastard!
  • ***
  • Lily: We would never have tried to save them.
  • James: Speak for yourself. I saved Snape remember.
  • Lily: Oh shut up. They destroyed another Horcrux
  • ***
  • James: Oh no...
  • Lily: Hello Fred.
  • Fred: Blimey. You're the Potters! Professor Dumbledore! Oh hell!
  • James: Yes Fred you are dead. But if it makes you feel better, you can call me Prongs.
  • Fred: But my pare- YOU'RE JOKING!
  • Sirius: No he's not. I'm Padfoot. And this is Moony, who literally can’t duel to save his life.
  • Remus: I’d say it's good to see you Fred bu...James? Lily?
  • James: It’s good to see you old friend.
  • ***
  • Remus: It’s been years.
  • Lily: For you. Where’s Tonks?
  • Remus: Dolohov killed her after he did me. When Padfoot collected us she went to see Teddy.
  • ***
  • James: Let's go end this.
  • ***
  • Fred: This is chaos.
  • Alastor: This is war!
  • Fred: Mad Eye! You’re al- oh yeah I'm dead.
  • Sirius: You get used to it.
  • ***
  • Sirius: Dammit Hagrid!
  • Remus: Wonderful. Giants.
  • ***
  • James: Focus Harry. You can do this.
  • Lily: Luna! Bless your soul.
  • ***
  • Remus: I'm not sure how I feel about Voldemort using this place.
  • ***
  • Lily: Oh God. Snape, run!
  • James: Too late.
  • Remus: What is he doing?
  • Albus: That's a memory.
  • Severus: Albus? Where are w- Lily??
  • Sirius: You sonofa-
  • James: Motherf-
  • Lily: QUIET! No one says a word until we see that memory.
  • Albus: If I may-
  • Lily: Not a word! You have both played with my sons life as if he were a piece in a game! No one has the right to talk until we see that memory!
  • ***
  • Lily: You bullied my son. And his friends. You went out of your way to torture and torment them. But you also risked your life for my son, every day for the last three years.I do not forgive you, but you can stay. For now.
  • Sirius: Wait what?
  • James: You heard her. But I swear, you pine after my wife even once and I'll punch you in the face.
  • Severus: I won't be here long. I want to see how it ends. After that, I will leave.
  • ***
  • Severus: It’s good to see you Lily.
  • Fred: He says after we just watched a montage based on sixteen years of his love for her.
  • Remus: Fred, shut up.
  • ***
  • Cedric: I thought you'd be more disturbed about Harry having to die.
  • Lily: I...
  • James: Don't think for a second that we aren’t being destroyed inside. But there is no choice. Our son has t-...
  • Lily: To defeat Voldemort, our son has to die. And we'll be here to greet him.
  • ***
  • James: He told Neville. About the snake.
  • Lily: Oh. It's Ginny.
  • ***
  • Sirius: The Snitch?
  • Albus: Excellent Harry. I imagine you four should get ready.
  • James: Ready for what?
  • ***
  • Cedric: The Stone! Harry was right!
  • Fred: What the hell is that thing?
  • Albus: Old and powerful magic.
  • ***
  • Lily: He dropped it!
  • James: Harry NO!
  • Lily: Wh-what just happened? Why did Voldemort fall?
  • Albus: EXCELLENT! HAHAHA! IT WORKED!
  • Severus: What did you do this time you mad old man?
  • Albus: My greatest work! My masterpiece! Engineered from beyond the grave!
  • Lily: Stop patting yourself on the back Dumbledore and tell me what happened to my son!!
  • Albus: Lily! James! Harry is alive! Now, let’s see if this works.
  • James: What? What are you muttering? What-WHERE DID HE GO?
  • ***(Due to Tumblr limits, the rest is under part 2)

STARTER SENTENCES from Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)

“Once again, I found myself on my own.”
“There you are, dumpling.”
“Pickles on toothpicks are still the height of sophistication.”
“He’s someone who insists I call him ‘Uncle’ while he gropes my ass.”
“Wish I could be lying with my head in the toilet, like all normal people.”
“Stop talking total nonsense to strangers.”
“I suspect he does not fantasize about me.”
“I just want to staple things to her head.”
“He’s just a big nob-head with no nob.”
“Shut up, please, I’m very busy and important.”
“You don’t need to protect him. He’s no friend of mine.”
“Having children isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
“I’ve got no power, no real career, no sex life…”
“What a gripping life you do lead.”
“You look like a common prostitute.”
“I wanted you to be the first to know that we’re engaged.”
“I’ve got to leave my current job because I shagged my boss.”
“I know it’s been awkward as ass, but there’s no need to leave.”
“Never dip your nib in the office ink.”
“You seem to go out of your way to make me feel like a complete idiot.”
“I don’t think you’re an idiot at all.”
“I mean, there are elements that are ridiculous about you…”
“I like you very much.”
“No. I like you very much – just as you are.”
“But this is someone you hate, right?”
“You like me just the way I am.”
“Where the fuck is the fucking tuna?”
“I see I may have come at a bad time.”
“If you ask me, there isn’t enough blue food.”
“Why did your [spouse] leave you?”
“This really is the most incredible shit.”
“I thought you might be on your own.”
“I’m a terrible disaster with a posh voice and a bad character.”
“Totally fucking finito.”
“Alright, _____, outside.”
“Should I bring my dueling pistols or my sword?”
“I should’ve done this years ago.”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“You give the impression of being all moral and noble, but you’re just as bad as the rest of them.”
“I can see that I’ve been laboring under a misapprehension.”
“A very, very foolish mistake. Forgive me.”
“If I can’t make it with you, I can’t make it with anyone.”
“I’m still looking for something more extraordinary than that.”
“I’m going to Bedfordshire.”
“I do realize what I’m like sometimes.”
“I just don’t work without you.”
“That’s why you always acted so strangely around him.”
“You once said you liked me just as I am, and I just wanted to say… likewise.”
“You always say the wrong thing.”
“I seriously believe that you should rethink the length of your sideburns.”
“Right. Crikey.”
“Has he ever actually stuck his fucking tongue down your fucking throat?”
“I realized I’d forgotten something back home.”
“I realized I’d forgotten to kiss you goodbye. Do you mind?”
“Maybe we should just go upstairs for a minute.”
“Definitely an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers.”
“I mean, I meant it… but I was so stupid that I didn’t mean what I meant.”
“Time to make a new start, perhaps.”
“Nice boys don’t kiss like that.”
“Oh, yes, they fucking do.”