this looks retarded

Fatherly Bruce Wayne
  • <b> Bruce:</b> "Tim help me with this remote."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> Jason stop singing Narcissistic Cannibal every goddam time! You're making my ears bleed!"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "What is a twerk?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Dick, stop wiggling your butt."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Tim the TV is not working."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "I can't leave this page."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Jason stop trying to take my mouse. Just tell me where to go."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "I AM PRESSING THE RED BUTTON."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "TIM, LEAVE JASON AND I TO THIS OKAY?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Damian, getting into fights at school is unacceptable. I understand that-"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Um, excuse me Damian. Come back here."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Damian Wayne! Come back here this instant!"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "I'm counting to three! One, two, why isn't this working?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Dick, counting to three doesn't work, no more parenting advices from you."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "What do you mean it only works on toddlers and little kids?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Jason, how young is too young to have the 'talk'?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "No no no I'm not giving it to you- wait, I never gave it to you."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Shit I never told any of my kids the talk."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Alfred, get the kids to the sitting room now."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "What is that idiot doing?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "The 'Dab'? Why do people do this Jay?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "You look retarded doing that."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "No I'm not doing the dab."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "My phone froze."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Tim, I can't leave the app."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Tim in telling you I can't- OH GOD IM SO SORRY YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Jason, stop calling Damian 'Demon.'"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "My god can you not be difficult for once?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Where are you going Dick?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "You're going out for a run?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "HOW?"
  • <b> Bruce: </b>: "It's a miracle that Dick can run with that ass."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Damian, can you get me the papers."
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Damian I said Papers! Not this printer!"
  • <b> Bruce: </b> "Well I'm glad he broke it was useless."
  • <b> Add more if you like?</b>

Do you think she knows just how fucking stupid those tattoos look?  Like, they’re fucking stupid NOW, not like ‘those are gonna look fucking retarded when your 50″ kinda thing, they are currently absolutely idiotic.  I know you think you’re demonstrating what a free spirit you are, but just know too much ink is a deal breaker for a LOT of men.  Save your money, save your skin.



Getting offended by something is a choice

You can choose to be a white person and be offended by black slurs (words from iDubbbz lol)


You cannot censor someone and tell them they can’t say just cause YOU think it’s offensive

If we should censor EVERY WORD that at least 1 person would get offended by, almost all words in the dictionary would get censored. Do you know how idiotic that is?

Labeling someone as racist, sexist, ableist or anti-semitic because they simply said something is so discriminating, especially when all they want to do is make people laugh.

Something that is offensive TO YOU, is not offensive to everyone else, and it does not make you SMARTER to be offended by useless shit.

Infact, you would be smarter if you knew the fucking difference between a joke and fact.

I once got told off by this person for using the words ‘’psychopathic’’ and ‘’insane’’, as they started to make long rants on their tumblr basically making me look like a person that hates disabled people and thinks they are insane.

Literally, if I was ableist, I wouldn’t love my paralyzed little sister who has never been able to talk or walk or live a normal life cause she is permanently brain damaged. I love her with all my heart and always have and always will.

If I was racist for using slurs, I wouldn’t have a group of black friends and a asian boyfriend.

You cannot label a person as something unless you know them.

Just like how you CANNOT label Pewdiepie as anti-semitic for a joke. Literally, his JEWISH FRIEND H3H3 came out and said he is NOT a anti-semite, shouldn’t that say something in itself?

Literally, we live in a world where hypersensativity is accepted, and that’s not okay, censorship should NEVER be okay.

And also, people give children SO LITTLE CREDIT, people are making children look retarded in all honestly.

Cause they say that children ‘’cannot tell the difference between a joke and facts’’ but when I was a child, I KNEW THE DIFFERENCE



I love drawing dragons, I used to draw dragons all the time
which is weird that it has been ages since I last drew one
so it was so refreshing going back to my old ‘hobby’

and since I’m in this mood of sketching out ideas for Tolkien’s creatures, I though why not try the dragons. I also threw in Melkor for some reason (who I have yet to decide a design for, so this isn’t final) just because.

For the dragons I think I might borrow some inspiration from dinosaurs and insects (just to add to the possible nightmare fuel that might occur)
especialy beetles.

Truth time

I’m an autistic ravenclaw. I have ASD, and it went undiagnosed for my long time, and it only increased the abuse I suffered as a child as my caretaker would continually berate me and end a yelling session with statements like “For God’s sake? Why can’t you fucking be normal?! It would make my life so much easier!” I speak two languages fluently and have some varying conversational ability in another three, but I can’t read social clues or make appropriate small talk in any of them. My parents used to sit me down before summer camp and on the first day of school and make me do “practice conversations.” If I called my mom on the phone and she didn’t fee like I had proper “phone etiquette,” she would make me hang up the phone and do it again, even if I was sick or injured. (My horse ran me into a tree once, and when I called my mom she made me hang up and call again with a “conversation script” because I opened the conversation with “I’m hurt, is there an ice pack in the freezer?” Instead of “hello, how are you?” I have an IQ of 130, but when I am ecstatically happy I go nonverbal for a little bit and just squeal and make random hand motions. And yeah, it looks “weird,” but I love it because it means I’m so happy I can’t contain myself. I used to roll my tongue around inside my mouth when I was deep in thought, but I eventually stopped because every time my mom caught me, she would do an exaggerated version of my expression, make inchoherant noises, and say “this is what you look like when you do that. You look like a retard, and you need to stop or people will think you’re a retard.” I knit and paint and sew and write and play a little piano and I’m artistically oriented and I value the life of my horse over most humans because most humans treat me like shit because I’m different. But I am different- good different. I see the word differently, and I see in brilliant colours and ask questions about things I don’t like that most people accept as fact. I am amazing and beautiful and perfect, and yeah, I’m autistic. And that’s a part of me I’ve grown to love. So don’t you dare call me ableist for being proud of who I am. I’m autistic, and if you have a problem with it, then you’re an asshole.

The pilot withdrew a mic out of her totally radical, 80′s style, fannypack; one she keeps just for occasions where she schools cis male scum. As she moonwalked out of the automatic doors, she dropped it, slammed her fist against her chest twice, then raised the hand in a peace sign. Her display of extreme swagger and total alpha-bitch didn’t end there, though. Without missing a single beat, she continued her moonwalk into her Blackhawk that was waiting at the curb, ducked her head, and walked backwards into it, still making direct eye contact with the heteronormative scumbag. In a matter of seconds she was in the sky, her bird turned to face the man directly.

“Oh shit…” he gasped

The pilot trained her weapon systems on him and let loose, but rather than a hail of hot lead, a thousand small, floppy, rainbow colored, silicone, dildos were launched directly at the chauvinist scum. The assault of phallic objects pelting him all over made him realize just how long he had been waiting for the sensation of cock all over his body. Just as fast as the pilot had been to take to the air, his sexuality had changed. 

“I am sooooo sorry giiiirlfriend!” he exclaimed, embracing our heroic OP. “I have seen the error in my waaayssss and I repent! Sister I am so so sorry! I’ll be a perfect male ally!”, his voice both full of sorrow and excitement at the same time. 

The pilot dropped a rope ladder from her helicopter and waved them both up. Together the three flew off into the sunset to defeat the evil patriarchy. If this disgusting pig could be converted, they all could. 

“Next stop : The White House” the pilot called out over the helicopter’s PA, causing the entire city to clap so loud it could be heard across the entire world. 

anonymous asked:

Roast the Goblin Deuce shotgun

What the shit is this fuck I don’t even

This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen and I want one. It looks retarded and it almost certainly won’t shoot worth a damn and I don’t even care.

Fuck you OP, I’m not roasting this gun I’m roasting myself for wanting one. Clearly I’m a severely damaged individual and why anyone would willing associate with me is a mystery for the ages.

anonymous asked:

okokokokokokokokok but,,,,,,,,, concept,,,,,, peter and johnny are making out and he accidentally partially flames on

lmao johnny would really be giving peter The Moves, because johnny’s the kind of guy who wants you to walk away from a kiss not really being able to think about anything but him. johnny is so focused on making the kissing good for peter that he totally forgets that peter is probably trying to make it good for him. and peter bites johnny’s lip and then puts a hand in johnny’s hair and pulls, and –

“ow, johnny, what the fuck!” peter shouts suddenly, jumping back from johnny who still feels like he’s melting from the makeout session.

oh wait. he isn’t melting, but the couch very well may be.

“johnny, flame OFF, your legs!!!!” peter shouts, this time from across the room. he throws a pillow at johnny’s head, which thankfully doesn’t get in the way of the flames.

johnny looks down and groans, his entire lower half is in flames. he then pulls the flames back into himself, but the couch is on fire now. “fuck!! fire extinguisher?”

peter runs into the kitchen and pulls a small fire extinguisher out from under the sink, and he runs back into the room and sprays the foam at the couch – and johnny. that’s when johnny remembers that he could have just absorbed the flames from the couch.

and johnny would have yelled at peter for spraying him down too, but all he can do is sit there in mortification. the flames die down, and peter sighs in relief and then walks over and slumps down next to johnny. he puts his head on johnny’s shoulder and sighs contentedly

“may burns stuff a lot, we thought it would be best to start keeping an extinguisher in the apartment,” peter giggles, leaning up to kiss by johnny’s ear

“this is so embarrassing,” johnny groans, burning his face in his hands.

“it’s not THAT embarr – ”

“you gave me a boner and i accidentally set on fire because of it”

peter snorts and chokes into some restrained laughter. “pre-mature ignition”

johnny rolls his eyes and pulls peter on top of him so that he’s straddling johnny’s lap, and they kiss slowly until peter sighs happily and wraps his arms around johnny’s neck. he pulls back from johnny and kisses his nose.

“if we ever have sex, we’re gonna have to look into flame-retardant condoms,” peter says thoughtfully, and johnny makes a face at peter and shoves his lame boyfriend off his lap so that he can order them a pizza