has their secrets; people have a right to choose what they want to be known
about them and what they don’t. They have a right to keep things to themselves,
but sometimes it is a tad more complicated than that. Ever have a secret so big
it just kinda gnaws at ya? Ever wonder if this secret could ruin everything or
make things better if it got out? Well those were the questions this stupid
stick was bringing up. Well, more like several different sticks of various
stupid little pee sticks, with their stupid, generic… beautiful little plus
signs lined the rim of the bathtub and I glared at them accusingly.
fuck,” I huffed, burying my face in my hands.
I tell him there are four ways this could go, Option 1: He ignores what I said
and carries on, Option 2: He leaves me, Option 3: He doesn’t want the baby
and tries to make me choose, Option 4: My naive
and hopeful little heart gets what it wants and he is over the moon with joy.
my hands down my face I slowly picked up the tests as I pondered over what to
do. There was a loud knock on the door and without thinking I tossed them out
the window, pausing for a moment when I had realised what I had done. It seemed
like that move solidified what my heart had already decided. I wasn’t going to
tell Mister J a god damn thing.
Come on, what’s taking you so long?” I heard Mister J’s muffled and impatient
placed a hand on my flat stomach, pursing my lips before I looked in the
mirror. Tonight’s fun wouldn’t be good for the baby… staring at my reflection
for the briefest of moments I saw my old self. I saw the Doctor before the
chemical vats; I saw the sane part of me that had always envisioned a regular
life for myself. A normal life with a husband, a nice house, and a… and a
baby. Unable to look at myself anymore I turned my back to the mirror and
sniffled, people like us we don’t get normal. I sold away my normal when I fell
in love with my Puddin’ and I don’t regret it, I really don’t… but…-shaking
my head to clear it I remembered Mister J had just spoke.
feeling a little icky, Puddin’. Go without me and if I feel better I’ll come
meet you later,” I said.
I heard him shuffle for a minute at first in
irritation, and then in confusion as he considered whether or not he cared
enough to ask me what was wrong. After a few more seconds I heard an agitated
growl before he was gone. I slowly slid to the ground and wrapped my arms
around my legs, burying my face in my knees as I wept silently.
am I going to do?
woke up sometime later curled up on the bathroom floor with Frost and the good
ole’ doctor leaning over me. Frost retracted his hand from my upper arm
immediately after he realised I wasn’t dead and I looked up at him in
the hell?” I grumbled.
J wanted the Doc to take a look at you and I think he was right. You’re looking
a little green around the-”
over to the toilet I puked violently, barely hearing Frost tell the Doctor to
take care of me before he left and shut the door behind him. The Doctor rubbed
my back gently (if a little shakily) but it felt nice, even after I was done
and I had flushed the toilet I just kind of stayed there for a while with my
head resting on my arm.
it the flu, dear?” She asked gently.
reminded me of Bess, a nurse I had interacted with frequently when I had worked
at the asylum with her cloud of white hair and her purple glasses that hung by
a pink piece of yarn.
me, Doc, do you want to go home? Do you want to disappear with your family and
escape Mister J’s employ? Answer honestly,” I whispered.
was silent for a long time; I suppose she was considering whether or not I was
capable of seriously injuring her in my current condition. Having come to terms
with the fact that I could kill her anytime I wanted no matter how she replied
she croaked out a, “Yes.”
then, I can do that for you if you do something for me. Do we have a deal?” I
asked, turning to look at her.
is it exactly you are asking of me, dear?” She asked, confusion knitting her
need you to keep a secret,”
***Mister J’s P.O.V (Four Months Later)
was getting annoyed. Very, very,
annoyed. I call the Doc up once, once,
and then suddenly the ancient pile of dust is a live-in! Had her age suddenly
made the fear of me, her potential bringer of death, decrease because of some
sort of acceptance of her imminent departure from this world? I couldn’t shoot
her either because somehow Y/N and the Doc had become thick as thieves.
just can’t trust the help these days. Worst of all was the old bird had the
audacity to tell me what I can and cannot do. Not taking Y/N out because she is unwell, no
stress for Y/N because her immune system is very weak. Just today she told me no sex until further
notice while she did some tests on Y/N. I’ll admit the bird had guts, too bad I
wanted to let them spill onto the floor. One more little thing, that is all I
needed and I’d have no choice but to kill her.
had practically quarantined Y/N and I couldn’t take it anymore! Where’s the fun
if she isn’t there to watch or participate. Ugh! Disgusting, I think I am
actually catching something with thoughts like this.
along,” I sneered at the old woman, but she firmly crossed her arms in
Y/N is resting,”
sorry, does it look like I give a damn?” I growled, pulling out my gun.
fire in her eyes made me pause before I could squeeze the trigger. When I had
her kidnapped she was meek, obedient, and weepy. Now, here she was ready to
bite a bullet all to keep me from going into Y/N’s room.
the woman by the throat I dragged her a few paces away before slamming her
against the wall. Secrets, her eyes were filled with secrets, I could see it
now, I could see it.
Doc, what is it you’re hiding from me?” I sang lightly.
eyes confirmed my suspicions even before she replied with a
fearful, “N-N-Nothing Mister J, nothing, I sw-”
punched the wall beside her head and she cried out, squeezing her eyes closed
does Y/N have? Is she dying?”
she is sick-”
what? The fucking plague? It has been months-” I froze, some sane part of my
mind had been able to put the pieces together.
the barrel of the gun under the old woman’s chin I glared daggers at
her, “I’m going to ask you a question, and for your families sake you
better answer it correctly.”
knew she would tell him, I knew as soon as I had been woken by her frightened
cry. So all I could do was sit there, staring down at my hands as they rested
on the small little curve of my belly and wait for it to be over.
heard him enter the room and in an instant I was by my vanity before he could
grab a hold of me.
little brat,” He hissed and my eyes began to well up with tears.
moved across the room quickly and I crawled across the bed to put it between
whole time doll, this whole time!” He snarled, lifting the glass coffee table
with an impressive strength and throwing it across the room so it shattered
against the far wall. A small sob escaped me, but his glare forced me to choke
knew you wouldn’t want it!” I yelled, finding my own anger.
up the lamp from the bedside table I threw it at him but he dodged it with
ease. A choked noise escaped me as I reached for my ring daggers, and his eyes
burned me, his chest rose and fell and in that moment he reminded me of a feral
dog but my next words deflated him.
knew you wouldn’t want me once you knew!” I threw one dagger and he smacked it
aside, moving closer.
knew you would want it gone!” I threw another, and he moved out of its way with
ease growing closer still.
would leave,” another dagger.
would find a new toy,” another dagger.
my wrist and throat he slammed me against the wall and banged my wrist against
it with a force that made me drop the last dagger. Angry tears spilled down my
cheeks and I raised my chin.
you going to do Mister J, you gonna kill us? You gonna walk away?” I said
through gritted teeth.
glared at me, rolling his neck, “Were you ever going to tell me?”
glanced away, flinching when with a growling yell he knocked off the other
bedside lamp and plunged us both into darkness. For a long time the only sound
was his heavy and angered breathing, and then I felt his fingertips. I felt his
fingertips hesitantly touch my stomach and I sucked in a breath.
keep anything from me again, or I just might kill ya, doll,” he said.
won’t… does that mean-”
means whatever you want it to mean.”
good enough for me.