this literally took 5 hours to make

ever wanted to do some stuff? like, different stuff? tired of having to scroll through your huge ref tag? LOOK NO FURTHER!! Have a masterpost of LITERALLY EVERYTHING which took me 5 hours to make so reblog it








Cheer up/Be happy





Mental health:


asoiaf ladies 1/ ∞

Ashara jumped from the top of the Palestone Sword, one of the towers of Starfall, into the sea, but her body was never recovered. Ashara is said to have done so because of a broken heart, with some blaming a stillborn child, a stolen child or grief over Arthur’s death.

it’s like- the worst thing about this all is not even people telling me I’m annoying, it’s when they insult my editing that’s when I wanna fucking go out and hunt those fuckers. My Longest beat drop video took me 5 hours to edit and record, then a extra hour to render, an extra hour for the thumbnail

When it comes to longer videos I go through literally 6 hours of footage- which in return makes the editing time longer to about 8 hours, this time 2 hours of render and then.. well.. again another hour for the thumbnail

Why do people think editing is brainless, it’s fucking hard. You have to be constantly motivated, I don’t just put raw footage on youtube, I literally go through it all to leave the funniest stuff in. 

I’m currently working on a video that I’ve already spent 2 hours on and i’m only 5 minutes into the video because I’m adding a few more jokes than usual. 

I put effort into my content and I am fucking proud of it. 


illustration © attack on titan: lost girls by seko hiroshi

a very merry late christmas to attackthekilljoy! ta-dah, i’m your secret santa. i wasn’t sure what you wanted, so i hope this graphic isn’t too disappointing. i hope you had a great holiday!

anonymous asked:

Part 5 was so cute! It's really impressive that you can get quality art out as fast as you do and make me literally gasp and do that weird thing where you hug your phone to your chest and kick your legs every update.

Part 5 took 10 years off my life I am never going to do all of that again within four hours. I have no idea what happened fndkdkdkfk

yoitssimonsnow  asked:

Hey Billsy! I got tagged in a "5 things i like about myself" thing and I would like to tag you as well! Please reply publicly with 5 things you like about yourself and then send something like this to 10 blogs you like! :D

Oh thank you!!
(This is gonna be real hard fucc)
1) I’ve always stayed true to the spooky aesthetic since I was a kid
2) I give no shits about how others view me
3) I am oblivious to my surroundings but observant of the people near me
4) I doodle plants that say supportive things to calm my anxiety a bit
5) My jokes and puns make others laugh or stare off into the distance with disbelief in their eyes

It literally took an hour to make that list

So like the really bad person I am, I totally did not know it was the Grand King’s birthday today, and so, I was originally going to do a small 5 second doodle. But then I ended up making a 1 hour project out of him.
Literally his hair took the longest to draw out. Oikawa why is your hair so hard to draw????
Happy birthday you Alien loving Setter dork.


Weekend Trip to Boston! 

I decided to take a short trip to get real amazing boba visit friends who were staying in Boston this summer. I spent last summer taking classes in BU, so I knew enough of the city and concentrated on food haha! It’s great being a bus ride away from two huge cities: Boston and New York. Many people manage to take weekend trips to visit family and friends, which is great to sometimes leave the Smith bubble (I have been here since January. January.)

There are several ways to get there, some have cars, others get a ride from someone with a car, but the most popular way I would say is the Peter Pan. 

We have a station here in Northampton, about a 8-10 minute walk from Albright, Lower Elm. It’s literally a block away from Main St downtown, which makes it easy to get to (minus the slight hills and uneven sidewalks). It took me 2.5 hours to get to Boston, with a 15 minute layover and transfer in Springfield. The transfers are usually pretty easy as they announce which gate you are supposed to be at before you get off the bus. To New York, it takes between 4-5 hours, and during certain seasons there is a direct bus too. The buses have places to charge and wifi (though I hardly get the wifi). Depending on when you buy the tickets, it costs between $40-$60, which is a lot but still among the cheapest options available. 

I’m thinking of taking more weekend trips this summer! I’ll keep you guys posted!

Swim 2016: Behind The Scenes In Bora Bora

Paradise, found. We 
jet-setted literally halfway around the world to shoot our Swim 2016 campaign in stunning Bora Bora, one of the 118 islands & atolls that make up French Polynesia. From late night hula lessons to snorkeling among the island’s famous coral reefs, our Angels lived up every second of their Tahitian adventure.

It took 6,000 miles and 20-plus hours to get there—but once we arrived, we couldn’t get enough of Bora Bora’s unique island vibes. Right in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, this oasis is thousands of miles away from the closest continents, Australia and South America.

It was 5-star all the way for our Angels, who stayed in the Four Season’s luxe ocean bungalows. With glass-paneled floors to peek at more than 100 species of fish, the best view was often at their feet.

Hips don’t lie. Tahitian hula dancing is used to express everything from challenging a rival to seducing a mate. (Hmm, wonder what Josephine Skriver was trying to tell us…)

Candice Swanepoel bonded with local crew member, Tamatoa, during an impromptu ukulele session. It’s part of Tahitian culture, he explained, “Everyone here is born with one in their hands.”

The crew used these traditional Tahitian outrigger canoes to get around Bora Bora’s waters. With just enough room for two, they also served as the perfect romantic getaway. (Elsa Hosk was happy to take a quick paddle…)

Taylor Hill isn’t exactly a nature girl. “I’ve never been this close to fish before! I screamed into my snorkel!”

Learn more about our trip to Bora Bora in our Swim 2016 catalogue, and shop the new swim collection now.


@lemonsaremeanttobeyellow Reequests: Heeyyy can you fo an imagine when Y/N likes a one year older guy but hes also her friends brother. So the Y/N goes to her friends house but leaves for a while leaving the guy andY/N alone andstuff happens. And ILY SO MUCH sorry if that sounded creepy

A/N: ily2(:

You thought it was sort of weird, but you liked him anyway. The fact that (C/N) was (F/N)’s brother didn’t stop your emotions from feeling certain feelings for him. The fact that he was a year older than you did’t stop it either, in some ways, it probably intensified them.Those feelings started acting up when you were getting ready to go to (F/N)’s house. You didn’t know if he would be there or not, but you were really hoping he would. In the case of that event, you didn’t wear sweats or anything like you typically would, you tried to look decent.

You arrive at (F/N)&(C/N)’s house, ready to hang out with (F/N), since you guys haven’t had genuine one on one time in a while. You don’t even have to ring the doorbell because (F/N) has already been expecting you. 

“(Y/N)!” she squeals.

“(F/N)!!!” you open your arms to hug her. “Finally we get to spend a Friday night together. Just us.” You smile at her.

“Not quite,” you hear (C/N) distant voice from the hallways. (C/N)) approached the two of you holding a nearly empty popcorn bag with a popcorn filled grin. “Hello, (Y/N). Long time no see,” he says looking you up and down leaning on the door ledge.

“Oh please, don’t be a pest.” (F/N) says rolling her eyes. “I made sure to make my mom make him promise not to bother us for the night. Anyway, let’s go to the living room, I’ve got a movie set on netflix for us to watch while we eat and talk about our problems haha”

“Speaking of problems,” you start to say as you sit on their living room couch, “that history project literally killed me. I’m so glad I finished it all. It seriously took me 5 hours.”

“What the fuck, why’d it take that long?” (C/N) asks.

“It’s 50% of our grade moron, why else?” (F/N) remarks. “I’m not nearly done with mine yet haha, atleast I’ve got the weekend to finish it. I started working on it today in study hall and—OH SHIT!” She stands up abruptly with her hands on her head.

“What?” you asked with a confused expression.

“I left it in study hall!” she yells.

“…and I’m the moron.”  (C/N) chuckles, laying on the sofa while throwing a piece of popcorn in the air and catching it with his mouth.

(F/N) glares at him and says, “I’ve got to go get it. If I don’t I’m definitely failing this class.”

“But it’s 5 o’clock, and you have no way of getting to school! The walk would be like an hour!” you argue.

“(Y/N) I HAVE to get it!” she says back.

“But the doors are probably locked!” you argue again.

“I’ve got to at least try!” she says.

“But what about our night to—”

“I’ll be back!” (F/N) says as she races out the door.

You roll your eyes and sigh a deep, heavy sigh. “Wow, there goes my Friday night plans,” you mutter as you stand up prepared to leave as well.

(C/N) pulls you to him so you wouldn’t leave, “Hey! She said she’d be back. Plus I’m still here. Let’s make the best of the hour she’s not here! Trust me, you’d have a lot more fun with me.”

“Um, I don’t know.. I guess.” you nervously reply.

(C/N) jumps back on the couch. “Something fun… something fun.. hmm… (Y/N).”

“Yeah?” you say.

“Entertain me.” He says with a smirk.

“I don’t know I’m not very entertaining,” you nervously say with a shrug.

“Ahh, you’re no fun!” 

“Me? No fun? All you can do is catch flying popcorn in your mouth.” you tease.

“Hey (Y/N), that’s an acquired skill! Not just anyone can do it y’know.” he teases back.

You walk closer to him so that you’re standing directly in front of him. “I bet I can.” you say in an ‘I’m way better than you tone.’

“Oh really?”

“Really,” you say keeping your sly attitude.

“Okay, I’m gonna toss some popcorn into your mouth… aaaannnnnd you better catch them.” he says sitting up right seeming to be more interested in you.

“And if I can’t, which isn’t a possibility, but what if I can’t?” you ask.

“You’re going to have to give me something, that i really, really want.”

The way he was looking at you was making you nervous. He never once looked away from your eyes. “And what is that?” you ask.

“Well we’ll just have to see now won’t we? Now, since I’m a great person who is just all around amazing, I’ll give you a few tries.” He says.

“Well aren’t you just generous.” You chuckle and roll your eyes.

“You said it not me! Okay, so back up a little bit, I know you just want to be all over me right now but we’ve got a bet to do save it for some other time, so just like 5 feet away is good,” he teases. You back up.

“Ready?” he asks popcorn in hand.

“Ya,” you say with your mouth already wide open.

He throws and you miss…several times. “Okay you’re not doing so good, and unfortunately, you only have one try left, so I’m gonna let you in on a secret.” (C/N) says.

“What,” you ask with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s all about the shaping of the lips. Watch this,” he makes his lips into a weird shape.

“You look like a freaking duck,” you say covering your mouth because of your laughter.

“You say it’s ‘looking like a duck’, I say it’s winning technique,” he says laughing too. “You try, and you’ll get it.

You try to imitate him, but it’s just not working out. You’re laughing way too hard. The whole time you were laughing, (C/N) just stares at you intently, studying your face, and then he smiles a bit. “Do you need help,” he says in a sudden serious tone.

“Obviously!” you say still cracking up.

(C/N) stands up walks over to you, places his hand on your cheek, and kisses your lips softly. That was the best feeling you’ve had in a while. When he broke the kiss he’s breathing some what heavily, still about 3 centimeters away from your face, gazing deep into your eyes. You seriously didn’t want the kiss to end. “Is that good,” he asks, not really like a question.

“I think I need a bit more help,” you whisper.

You were expecting another soft kiss from his amazing lips, but instead you were met with a ferocious kiss, a deep and hungry one. The kiss was so intense that it made the two of you fall on the couch, but that didn’t stop him. Desperate little moans escaped his throat and the two of you were feeling each others bodies like you couldn’t be any closer. You two could have went on like that for hours, if a thing called oxygen wasn’t required for humans.

“Wow,” you say in shock.

“Yeah,” he says with a chuckle climbing off of you and standing up. “I honestly don’t know where that came from haha.”

“Well I’m glad it did,” you said..

“That’s good,” he starts to say, “because that was supposed to be my prizee for winning our bet.” he says with a smirk

“I wish we could but—” you say shyly looking at the ground.

He grabs your chin, “…but?”

“(F/N) could come back at any second.” you answer.

“Well you are sleeping over right?” he asks.

“Yeah but—”

“But nothing, my sister is such a baby, she’s always the first to fall asleep. She’s also a very very heavy sleeper. We could make all the noise we want.” (C/N) says winking at you.

Not even a second later, (F/N) comes through the door saying, “I got it guys!!!!”

Idk about that one. It probably wasn’t great oh well. Tell me how/if you liked it.

If your planning on binge watching Supernatural, here are some things you need to know:

So, you’re planning on watching the entirety of Supernatural on Netflix (season 1-10) now are you?

These are some things you need to know: 

First off:

  • There are 10 seasons on Netflix as of Novemer 19, 2015
  • There are a total of 218 episodes

This is where it gets slightly more complicated:

Keep reading

I enjoy your stories!❤️❤️❤️❤️👍👍 oh my god, I love B.I stories. Could u make a scenario where B.I thinks you are a burden and break up with you, but later on regret it (make it a happy ending please and a lot of angst)! Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

The sound of footsteps approaching the bedroom woke you up. Your body rolled over, your eyelids slowly opening themselves as you saw Hanbin’s silhouette at the door. Your lips curled into a tired smile, happy to see your boyfriend back home. He has been practicing so late these past few days, you’ve barely seen him and missed his touch. His loud steps walked towards the bed, his body throwing itself onto you. He suddenly got up, pushing you back to your side of the bed as he crawled onto the mattress to make space for himself.

You wiggled under the sheets towards him, hoping you’d be able to at least hug him for a second. How long has it been since the last time the two of you made physical contact? You couldn’t remember, and you were aching for a hug, a kiss or just holding hands.

“Why are you touching me…? Back off…” He mumbled, attempting to push you away with his elbow.

You sighed at his response, turning your back to his as you fell back to sleep.

As usual, you woke up alone, just like the past few weeks. He always left early, making the least noise possible and leaving as if he was never there. Since you had a day off, you decided to pay him a visit when he was full of energy and alive, unlike when he comes home, drained out and dead. You packed some food for the members, remembering which one they liked the most and placing it in lunchboxes.

You head over to YG, taking the usual path to their practice room where you could hear the music blasting in there, as someone, probably Hanbin, screaming numbers over again.

“1! 2! 3! 4! 1! 2!…”

You checked the time before entering the loud space. Your hand ran through the pole that was a used a knob before pushing it slowly, getting a glimpse of the boys dancing in front of the mirror. Further and further, you realized that the music stopped and all eyes were looking at the door.

“Hi guys!” You chanted, waving your bag of food.

“Oh! ________!” Chanwoo exclaimed as he ran towards you.

“What are you doing here? You don’t have work today?” Donghyuk smiled, following the youngest.

“Nope! And since you guys have been working hard lately, I decided to reward you with your favorite foods!” You answered, pulling a box of food out with the post it Jiwon on it.

A circle was made in the center of the room as each of them thanked you for bringing them food, except your boyfriend. As soon as you handed him his box, he just took it in coldly, no ‘thank you’ or ‘I love you’ from him. You assumed that he was thirsty since he was screaming numbers earlier, you pulled a water bottle out of the bag and handed it over to him. Before anyone got the chance to enjoy their food, Hanbin spoke up.

“Can you guys leave, please?”

The 6 boys looked at each other, then at their leader and his girlfriend. They took their lunches out with them, leaving the two of you alone.

“It’s been a long time since we haven’t been together like… When I’m not tired.”

You agreed. “It’s fine, I don’t really mind it. As long as you pursue your dreams, I’m good.”

“_______… I have to tell you something.”

You hummed in response.

“I think we should break up. No, wait I don’t think, we really should.”

You raised an eyebrow at him, feeling your heart get stabbed at the same time as words ran through your brain. “Uh, why…?”

“Well first off, you interrupt me in my sleep. My sleep, ________! Don’t you think that coming home at 3 and leaving at 7 is pretty tiring?? I feel like I’m dying right now! Then, you come see me at work, at work!! Where I’m working my ass off and you come with your stupid food that tastes like crap! You are breaking my career apart, you’re breaking me apart by not letting me sleep or letting me work well!”

“What?! I literally brought you food! How am I breaking you apart? What you said literally didn’t make any sense! I only interrupted your sleep once! Why? Because I missed you! I missed your warm hugs, your meaningful kisses, your soft hands… Why are you being such an ass, right now?! I came here to reward you and your members with your favorite food!”

“Just shut up! You’re being annoying, can’t you realize that you’re already wasting my time? You’re always being lazy at home, anyways! You don’t even make any money!”

“What?! I’m studying and working a part time job, for your information!”

“No, you’re living off the money your parents send you monthly!”

“What the hell do you know?!” You spat back furiously.

You were already a crying mess when you left the building. As soon as you got home, you took all the time you wanted to let all your feelings drain out with your tears. What were you crying over, a boy? A dumb boy that can’t appreciate the fact that you’re super nice?

Me? Lazy ass? We’ll see…

The past few days has been pretty much about studying, working and getting home late. You could feel your tiredness taking over your body at 2 AM when you came back from work. When you try to wake up at 7 but end up at 9, where you’re already late for one of your classes.

You were basically destroying yourself and being competitive over nothing. He didn’t know that the two of you were having a competition of who would be the most tired and who should be the most pitied. He was busy. So busy that he never texted an apology, or visited you to pick his things up.

Your friends were going crazy, taking you home as soon as your shift ended, making sure that you didn’t miss a second of the beautiful thing called sleep. They were all aware of your heartbreak and your ‘contest’ with Hanbin. You never got an update on what was happening with him. There were no news released or anything about iKon, or him. You didn’t want to know, care, or even hear about him. You were angry because of him.

The little bell above the glass door rings, making you get up from your seat and fake a smile as you walked up to the counter.

“Hello and welcome to Sugar dust, how may I help you?”

“Hm, could you come to our dorm?”

Your ears twitch at the familiar voice. Your eyes search for the owner’s, under his cap. His mouth was hidden by his mask. “What and why?”

“Hanbin has been pretty down lately and the last time the two of you texted was like, two months ago. Did anything happen?” Yunhyung asked, playing with the little sugar packets in front of the cash register.

You felt a sudden pain in your head at the sound of his name. “Sorry… Sorry but no….” You sighed.

“Please? We miss you, plus we still have the lunchboxes and don’t worry, we washed them. Hanbin misses you too.”

“The first thing you do is come here and lie? Seriously, Yunhyung?”

“I’m not lying! He’s literally crying and starving for food and you!”

“Stop, just go home!”

“Please, _______! Please!”

You took another deep breathe. “Yunhyung, I’m not going. I have work and school stuff.”

He frowned. “Okay, sorry for bothering you.”

“Just take good care of yourselves, okay?”

“Yes, yes.”

Ever since your tiny meeting with Yunhyung, your head has been aching more than it did last time. You didn’t really question it, making the dumbest assumption that it was just information trying to make some space for itself in your mind. Studying for 5 hours a day and only eating one meal started to become your routine. If you were honest, you spent more time at school than in your bed.

You were making your usual way back home after your shift ended. It was cold outside so slipping on the ice wasn’t something new. There weren’t many people out, probably a few twenty something unlike when there’s the sun beaming with everyone out of bed with their family or friends. Each step you took felt painful, as if the wind was stabbing your brain at the same time and your muscles were slowly dying out.

It was a long wake up the stairs to get to your apartment. As soon as you saw your door, you felt relieved until a hand grabbed yours. You gasped, your heart beating fast and painfully as you tried to shake yourself out of whoever the person was’s grip. Your hand got out of the stranger’s hold, you were shaking and stumbled back, your feet making its way to the stairs without you even realizing. You caught a glance of the man that took your hand, your eyes widening at the face and the sudden realization that you were slowly making your way down the stairs,  your head hitting each staircase before your body rolled down completely.

It wasn’t until your felt the sharp pain come back to your head that you eventually woke up. Your eyes opened themselves, admiring the white ceiling and light that you weren’t familiar with. Your first instinct would be to get up and look around, but the pain in every part of your body wasn’t really down for that.

The dryness of your throat was slowly killing you, the pain in your back, arms and legs as well. You could feel some itchiness on your head but the cast on your arm seemed to be saying that you couldn’t move. Sighing, your eyes wandered around the room, questioning the area. It seemed quite familiar, not that you ever entered a room like that but you’ve seen an empty room like that in movies.

The door creaked, a nurse walked in with a smile on her face as soon as she saw you look back at her.

“Your guardian went to get a snack. Visiting hours were over long ago but since you’ve just arrived, we’ve let him stay.”


“Yes, a man brought you here.”

“What’s his name?”

“Hm… Hanbin? Something like that.”

There was a silence before she started talking again. “I’m going to get the doctor and some water for you, okay? Stay here.”

As soon as she left, you got up. You felt the pain hit your mind again, making you fall back onto the  bed. There was no way you were staying in that room, where your ex boyfriend could find you and talk to you. You pulled the IV off, limping your way towards the door with pain in your legs.

The first thing you did was check the hallways, making sure no one was there to stop you from your escape. The halls were empty, only a few patients were walking to the bathroom or getting back to their room. Your steps were echoing wall to wall. You wondered between the elevator and the stairs. If you take the elevator, you’re more than less likely able to encounter anyone, a staff or even worse, him. If you take the stairs, the weakness of your legs wouldn’t be able to support your weight and the pain as you walked down.

No. No way am I taking a chance to see him again.

With stubbornness, you make your way to the stairs, holding tightly onto the bars with your hand that wasn’t in a cast. Maybe it was a bad idea after all, ruining your health over some boy that you didn’t even want to care about anymore. Walking was already difficult, changing steps each time was even more difficult. You look back, wondering if you should go back upstairs and take the elevator.

You went down 5 steps, would it be that hard to go back up those steps? You ignored that idea and whipped your head back to the stairs, making tiny jumps on each case to get to your destination. Finally getting there, you heard your name echoed and by reflex, you turn around.

Your eyes met his, making you freeze at the sight of his face. As fast as you could, you start limping towards whatever safe place you could hide even though he was a thousand times faster than you and caught up to you in a second.

“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you in bed? Let’s go back.”

“Why do you care about me? Am I not tearing you apart or something?”

He bit his lip at your response. “Listen, I’m sorry…”

“Forget it, I have to go.”

“Where? I’ll take you there.”

“Home, you idiot! You’re telling me that I broke you apart when you’re the reason why I am literally broken? I’m not in a cast for no reason, you know?!” You suddenly shouted, realizing that you were still at the hospital and there were many patients sleeping at a time like this.

“Look, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Well, did you think I wanted to hurt you?! I loved you, Hanbin, and I still do! You ruined everything for me! You ruined my sleeping schedule, you ruined my studies, you ruined my job, you ruined me completely!” You started crying as you went on and on about how heart broken you were.

He sighed. “Let’s go to your room.” He said in the most gentle voice possible as he grabbed your hand.

“Don’t touch me!”

As soon as you spat those words and pulled your hand away, you lost balance and fell onto your bum. By reflex, you used your arms to heave yourself up until the pain from your broken arm alarmed you. You hissed at the feeling, more tears diving onto your skin. Your legs were numb, you couldn’t get up and the only person around that could help you was Hanbin.

Without asking for your permission, he carried you to the elevator and took you to your room where the doctor and the lady from earlier were looking for you. There was a silence after the doctor finished making a few check ups and left. No words were exchanged, only the buzzing from the light bulbs were heard until he closed the lights, wishing you a good night.

You woke up to the smell of croissants and coffee, the feeling of cold air coming from an open window and the sound of steps and curtains against the glass. You felt his lips against your forehead, making you frown at the feeling that you wanted to hate so badly yet enjoyed. Did he expect you to wake up like Sleeping Beauty?

“_________, time to wake up!” He chanted, playing with your fingers.

You pulled  your hand away. “Don’t touch me.”

You could hear his desperate sigh. “Okay, fine. But could you at least open your eyes first and look at me?”

You weren’t in the mood to wake up nor face him, so why would you do that? You kept your eyes shut, waiting to fall back asleep.

“_________, please?”

“Shh, I’m trying to sleep. Also, shouldn’t you be going to work?”

“Why would I go back to work when I have you here?”

“Shut up, you never said that when we were dating.”

“Hm, speaking of dating… Wanna go on a date again?”

Yes. “No.”

“________, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I don’t know how I can prove it to you that I’m sorry but I know that I’m an asshole for throwing you to the side like that.”

You opened your eyes. His body was hovering yours, staring into them.

“Seriously? I don’t want to date an asshole.”

“I’ll be a good asshole.”

“I don’t want an asshole, simple as that.”

“Fine, then what else can I be?”

“Nothing. Go home.”

“Okay fine, I’m not going to force you to date me again, it’s understandable that you hate me. Could you at least appreciate me?”

“Appreciate you for what? What did you do for me to appreciate you?”

He grinned. “You could appreciate me for the next infinite dates we’ll go to when you’re out of here, and eventually fall in love with me and have a family with me!”

“Eventually? More like probably.”

“Really? Probably?! That means that there’s a chance that you’ll start liking me again, right?”

You mumbled a few words as you blushed. “As if…”



we had to sculpt chimeras in art class (basically an amagalation of animals/objects) and i first wanted to make a literal chimera with three heads and so on but then i went lazy haha

I know it’s not entirely accurate, but if i’d have added the hand the whole thing would’ve tipped over because the head in itself is already super front heavy

But yeah. Dearest final Genie is done! God bless, this took me 8 hours in total i think

anxiety, probably.

I’m trying so hard not to let my anxiety get my carried away. I’m basically going to be nauseous/on the verge of tears  until i find out what is going on with work and can start planning accordingly. I’m so terrified of getting the position i applied for. It’ll be great if i do cuz my literal life happiness goal is – tech job, own place to live, enough money to go to wrestling now and then.  The tech job will help a lot with those since I’ll be making 5-7 more dollars an hour than I am now.  ..but it literally took 4 years for me to be MOSTLY comfortable in my position where I don’t have to deal with a lot of stuff I would have to as a tech, most of which involve programs and outreach. So fuck me. 

Also coffee date tommorrow, we confirmed everything again.. I’m sure my just general full blown panic about life things is not going to make this any easier of a situation.  I’m not going into this looking for anything more than a pleasant time, if things go well then that’d be super cool. If they don’t, then hey maybe i got a new wrestler friend I can chat to about stuff. I hate meeting people for the first time, I hate being social, I hate trying to navigate small talk and social norms. I hate that “romantic” social encounters are THAT MUCH MORE DIFFICULT to decipher for everyone, let alone someone who doesn’t necessarily get social cues at the best of times.  I’m trying to keep my mind away from ‘well what if you do click and everything? HAVE FUN NEGOTIATING THE JOY THAT IS A RELATIONSHIP’.  Mostly its that relationships involve not only navigating through your own little world, it involves paying attention to someone elses as well and I’m not the greatest at that. It’s just how I’m wired as I’ve tried to get better at it but I’m the first one to acknowledge I’m not the best. Then there’s the insecurities surrounding the fact that my ex picked like, the worst time ever for us to break up – right after i had a fantastically big breakdown caused by my depression having gone untreated for about a year (whoops, my bad). I understand mental illness can be so hard for a person to watch someone deal with and they’re not obligated to stick around..  but what if I get super shit again and it turns into ‘welp, don’t wanna deal with that’.  Or what if my hilarious lack of sex drive becomes an issue, which it generally has in the past. It’s all that negative stuff that comes up, pokes at my already spiraling anxious mind and goes “so why even bother? you don’t mind being single, you are very happy getting to do your own shit when you want, you don’t have to deal with other peoples stuff, and its far less complicated”.  

I think it’s while yes, i’m actually super fine being single, I know that I’ve had good things happen in relationships too. That it’s nice to have a bab to drag along to stupid stuff with me and cuddle with. .. Also i’m super self aware and know my brain is firing on all cylinders because anxiety & it’ll knock it the fuck off, at least about the date, by Thursday. Plus, I told myself if I was chatting with a guy and interested, I’d at least give it a go. I’m not avoiding getting into a relationship, I just believe that if its gonna happen, it’ll happen.  HAVING TO TALK TO PEOPLE IS SHIT AND IT NEEDS TO STOP BEING HARD.



The High School Experience: Chapter One

Summary: Phil always sees movies about high school being the best years of his life. It’s the start of his senior year and, so far, it hasn’t been much of an experience. But as him and his best friend, PJ, meet two new guys starting school with them, Phil’s dull life may just turn around.

Triggers: none at the moment

Pairings: phan, kickthestickz (in later chapters)

Words: 1,074

Chapters: 1/?

A/N: I really hope you guys like this fic. It literally took me FOREVER to find a small town in England that had some kind of sixth form. (I’m from America). So I apologize if I got some things wrong about high school haha.

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