this lady was awesome

Bounty Hunters Then and Now: A Guide

Legends Boba Fett: Unbeatable, unkillable, unstoppable Whitey McStubble, man of mystery, keeps killing people to upgrade his armor, trains Jaina Solo to fight Sith Lords because he’s so awesome, rules Mandalore because he’s so awesome, loves the ladies but is a Gentleman about it, once wiped out an entire Imperial base by himself, has armor with infinite gadgets, master of disguise, doesn’t play well with others.

Canon Boba Fett: He had good genes from his dad Temuera Morrison, then his dad died so he decided Revenge sounded fun, Revenge was not fun, he was raised by bounty hunters so bounty-hunting was really the Only Thing He Knew, probably gay like his father, always needs to hang out with partners because he needs someone to witness his drama, rolled a Nat 1 and fell in a giant mouth (it was a mouth), got out and is now thinking about his place in the universe.

Legends Bossk: Sworn enemy of Boba Fett (Boba Fett has no idea who he is), hates Wookiees, can’t keep his ship together, blames Boba Fett, is constantly angry at being Number Two, has Daddy Issues, takes them out on Boba Fett, skins people, wants to skin Chewbacca and Boba Fett, just can’t, perpetually frustrated.

Canon Bossk: Friend to all the children, protects Tiny Boba, voiced by Dee Bradley Baker, Space John Wayne, keeps his ship together for decades because he is Good at His Job, will fight everyone in the room whose head is above his waist.

Legends Dengar: Hates Han Solo because he ruined his face and now he has to wear bandages, has no positive emotions until he meets the One Woman who doesn’t flinch from his bestial face, really wants validation so he sticks around with Boba Fett.

Canon Dengar: Um he doesn’t really CARE about Han Solo, this is a headscarf? come on guys? he just wants to do his job he’ll take the job yes his ship looks like a toilet seat why are you laughing come on please respect him he’s from Space Australia come on kids show your elders the proper respect.

Legends IG-88: Evil robot who wants to lead the droid uprising and take over the galaxy, he has some robot clones of himself to help him with that, none of them can do their job, also he becomes the Death Star.

Canon IG-88: Probably just an assassin droid Boba Fett hired to help him out with the Hoth job. He does his work. He’s a droid. Beep-boop.

Legends Zuckuss: Force-sensitive hunter who had a bad accident and now has to live with crippling asthma, hangs out with 4-LOM because Zuckuss needs help or whatever, talks in third-person.

Canon Zuckuss: 4-LOM’s husband. 

Legends 4-LOM: Protocol droid who learned to take pleasure in stealing things and began to find other emotions, hangs out with Zuckuss because he wants to know what love is, he wants him to show him, also he wants to see if he can use the Force.

Canon 4-LOM: Zuckuss’s husband.

Last night I started to feel pressure on my chest. I had a co-worker basically cough for 8 hours straight on Tuesday and of course I caught what he had: Upper respiratory cold.

I’m waiting for an inhaler as the pressure got so bad, I couldn’t breathe this morning. Oh and I did my first leg day in ages yesterday because I was feeling great so I’m sore as frick today.

And ladies, to make it super awesome, I’m crampy.

Seriously, kill me now.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.