this kind of stuff makes me angry and i just really wanted to address it. )

Culture Shock part 4 (Jungkook angst) The end.

I don’t feel our love anymore.

Originally posted by jjks

Part one Part two Part three

Word count: 2k

Genre: Angst

“Where did you get my address?” you asked breathlessly.

“I had to do some digging,” he said simply, then held up a crumpled piece of paper. His hands were shaking. You squinted at the page and realized that it was your letter. You felt yourself blush, embarrassed to be confronted with your own sentimental words.

“Why did you send me this?” he demanded.

You blinked at him, trying to form an answer.

“I… I hoped it would bring you some kind of closure–”

“Bullshit,” he interrupted. “That is bullshit. If you wanted to give me closure you would have just apologized for your mistakes and wished me luck with my life. But you dug up the past. You said that you wished we had never split up. You saw me with my fiancée, you knew I wasn’t available. So don’t pretend that you sent this for selfless reasons.”

He didn’t move towards you. He was still standing outside, showing no intention of coming in, but you still flinched away from him. His words were so full of venom. He was so mad at you.


You had imagined your reunion so many times. You always dreamt that you wouldn’t need words, he was just sweep you off your feet and kiss you, or throw his arms around you and let his embrace say everything that he couldn’t. You never imagined that he would be so disgusted by you.

Was he right? When you wrote the letter, you really had convinced yourself that it was for his benefit. That it would somehow help heal him, if he still held any resentment. But deep down, a small part of you knew that you had sent it for yourself. You wanted him to know that you were still here, still waiting for him.

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anonymous asked:

What is your opinion on season 4 so far?

this is probably confusing, but stay with me: i don’t “really” consider us in season four yet! 

su was originally renewed for three seasons: all ~52 episodes, give or take turning an ep into a series of shorts. that’s how they were written - while the overall story is more important than the format, we can expect whatever happens at the end of season ‘five’ to be more of a “finale” than the end of season ‘four’, because that’s really just the midseason finale of season three (like ocean gem for season one). 

cartoon network arbitrarily decided to split the seasons: cutting s2 in half, and the same with s3, so they could make the ‘happy announcement’ that su had been renewed for two more seasons… but it’s the same number of episodes, just a confusing season split, for some reason. you still get 155-ish episodes.

(i made a chart!) 

due to how it was originally written, and since i think it’s unfair to compare a 52 episode-season to a 26 episode one, i still think of this as the first half of season three. with that in mind, we have a lot of very interesting setup: 

while hindsight will allow us to reflect on it as a whole, this half-season is the one that feels the most like steven’s season to me. 

he needed a good while to cope with the recent events like bismuth, jasper’s corruption, really everything about rose. he’s taken his time to try to re-connect with people, vent and figure things out (this has been a very frequent theme: the kindergarten kid, know your fusion, mindful education, future boy zoltron, onion gang, gem harvest, the zoo arc, storm in the room, tiger philanthropist and room for ruby all deal with this to an extent). he particularly wants to know how to feel about rose, in order to figure out how to feel about himself.

Originally posted by m-adz

in addition to seeking answers and closure by himself, he’s needed a lot of help. from connie, garnet, amethyst, greg, pearl, human contacts, peridot and lapis. he’s just… incredibly frustrated, and he still feels like he can’t help as much as he wants to (the kindergarten kid, mindful education, the zoo arc, but also as a larger theme). things are a lot more complicated, and he’s felt very alone. this has lead him to rush into things (like the zoo arc) and desperately seek any avenue for information about rose. it’s come to the point (storm in the room) where he’s just had to tell himself how to feel, in order to feel ok again. 

he’s also repeatedly tried to connect with people, and help in any way he can (onion gang, future boy zoltron, gem harvest, rocknaldo, tiger philanthropist, room for ruby), but also realized it’s partially to help himself feel less alone (onion gang, gem harvest, tiger philanthropist). in the middle of that, he’s been exposed to more of gem culture, homeworld gems and even seen the diamonds at a particularly vulnerable time (steven’s dream, the whole zoo arc, room for ruby). after all this time, he still wants to help. he’s trying to figure out how, while living his life and finding more friends.

Originally posted by sapphirerose818

he’s got a lot to deal with. i think he’s more ready to face that than before (mindful education, the zoo arc, storm in the room, room for ruby)… but he still doesn’t have answers, and he’s agitated the crystal gems won’t tell him everything (again, the zoo arc, but this is a bigger theme in general). we’ve seen they want to help (steven’s dream), and want to make efforts to make him feel better (tiger philanthropist). 

in the middle of all of this, you have gems like peridot and lapis falling into sort of a status quo situation where they - and lapis in particular - sort of stay away from the crystal gems without addressing bad blood, because she’d rather just live peacefully. the show has made several points out of how she’s not thriving (gem harvest, the new crystal gems, room for ruby), and how she’s still deeply flawed, frustrated and occasionally quite angry at both others and herself (all three eps i just mentioned). i believe that will come to a head, even if she’s trying to live normally and doesn’t really ‘want’ to be a focus (not to mention if jasper comes back). 

Originally posted by pastfuturevision

Originally posted by doafhat

it seems that in any season, the ‘second half’ has more payoff in general. sure, there’s coping with what happens in the midseason finale, and occasional attempts at restoring some semblance of normality… but things are going to change, especially leading up to the season finale - aka the “serious corner” rebecca sugar said she would write us into, as she said she was “shooting for the moon” in the upcoming half. if you’re a ‘plot’ kind of person, that’s probably gonna be more up your ally. personally, i’m still curious about the rest of this half-season: “lion” episodes are very interesting… assuming lion 4: alternate ending is still next, i’m excited for that. 

i also think something is gonna be shaken up in the midseason finale, as usually happens (mirror gem/ocean gem, message received/log date). it could be a lot of things: the return of jasper, the rubies, new forces from the diamonds, possibly with steven heading towards some kind of epiphany or learning a new (big) truth, or lapis becoming tired of this life and finding something to take her out of retirement… or maybe something completely unpredictable! there’s a lot of things in progress, and it’s hard to say where it’s going. 

there are many other things i could have mentioned, that might become important (how often steven’s guilt for rose’s actions is brought up, how yellow diamond is planning something, how we’ve learned more about jasper, how peridot’s become a stronger metalbender, how amethyst’s become pretty happy in general, garnet’s worries, ect), but this is the kind of stuff that’s gonna be much easier to reflect on once we’re past midseason. 

for now, i like this season a lot. i particularly think it’s been better at tying steven’s issues and trauma into both human and gem episodes, and that the whole mess around rose is fascinating. 

Originally posted by stevensstars

I know that SuperCorp is very unlikely to happen because Sanvers is already a thing, but between us… that’s bullshit.

Tv shows should always aim to reach out for the audience, capturing their interest - on a side trying to represent them and on the other trying to surprising them. We’re getting a hint of representation of the LGBT community (and I’m not saying LGBTQA+, because that part of the community is practically nonexistent according to the media) right now, which is definitely not enough, and what we get is rarely a quality product (for the most part, we’re used to make jokes, which isn’t representation, but more likely cheap comedy). We frequently get little screen-time, poor character development (he’s gay, what else is there to say?) and yes, we often get to DIE too (for the benefit of famous “shock value”… which doesn’t shock anybody, really, since it happens almost all the time). What we don’t get is main roles, good backstories, characters who are not only defined by their sexual orientation and… well, to live, to grow and get to be happy on screen (what an absurd concept, am I right?).

Supergirl has done an incredible job by representing Alex Danvers’ coming out story: it showed its audience how a strong, brave woman like Alex can still be very fragile and struggle with this kind of realization; how she fears to accept herself, to be fully herself and out with the people she cares the most about, and more importantly how things can actually go well. This is damn important, ‘cause it helps a lot of people to think that “Hey, maybe my family won’t take it this badly” or “Maybe my friends will accept me” and “Maybe things will change for the better!”, ‘cause guess what? IT CAN HAPPEN AND IT HAPPENS! But this is not very interesting to show, apparently, ‘cause most of the time it’s all freaking dramatic and it ends in tragedy.

The new generations are already lucky, ‘cause now there is something like this (Supergirl) on Tv, but it’s not enough still, ‘cause they’re portraying a tiny fragment of their audience, of the people around the world, and if you think “But it’s a lot already”, I’m gonna tell you that the straights have every single damn shade from every single damn angle for their representation on screen, while we are barely there and almost never the main character or anything close to that. Yes, there are movies in which we are protagonists, but let’s be real, they’re almost always centered on our sexual orientation, the discovery and the consequences, which is helpful and good to see, but it’s not everything there’s to see and to know. Plus, they really abuse of the dramatic factor of it in order to “send a message”, but that’s a message wasted on the straights, and if they think you’re an abomination already, surely a movie won’t change their minds. Instead, it will just fuel fear in us, which - there’s no really need to say it - it’s bad (we unfortunately have reality for that).

I remember my probably very first approach to the whole “girls liking girls” thing thanks to the media.
I was a kid and I was watching this movie on the Tv. I remember only pieces of it, ‘cause I don’t think I was paying much attention until a certain point. What I still recall, though, stuck in my head for a reason.
There were two girls, one white and the other brown, that grew closer to each other (I seriously don’t remember anything about whatever was the rest of the story). I recall this very specific scene that had me and my sister (who was also watching) like: “Oh, they are helping each other undressing ‘cause they’re friends”. When they started making out we were like “Oh… Okay, so they’re not just friends, apparently”, and that was it. I don’t think we knew about all the hatred towards people of same sex being in love with each other, to us it was just like “Okay, this is a thing that exists: acknowledged”. They seemed to be fine, so there was no issue… right? WRONG!
The white girl’s brother saw them, got angry as shit, took a gun and started shooting at them. They got into a car, trying to get away from him, but he got into another and started chasing them. It was raining, they were scared as shit, he looked insane, I felt the anguish growing inside of me: it was awful (again, I was a kid at the time).
The car slipped, then fell down a bridge into a river/lake and it quickly sank. After a while, only the white girl emerged from the water. The other drowned.
Last scene that I remember was a time jump where the white girl was a now a white granny, and she was probably remembering this terrible thing that happened to her once.

No fucking wonder if growing up I didn’t want to be gay and I pushed down my feelings and thoughts, since this is the kind of message to which I was subjected. And now? Now there are some things that portray the whole “being gay” as normal (as it always should be) and not in a dramatic, catastrophic way, but it’s also true that we get shows like The 1OO, Person of Interest, Orange Is The New Black, Pretty Little Liars, The Walking Dead and many, many, many others where the lesbian freaking dies, where there is no happy ending for us.

It’s simply not okay.

But to finally address the very main reason why I started this post - that no one will read ‘cause it’s too long, and people have time only for thoughts as long as a tweet - is the importance to acknowledge the presence of MORE THAN ONE GAY CHARACTER in a story. In a story AND in a family. Yes, as crazy as it sounds, we are more than two and we indeed can have LGBTQA+ wonderful siblings. Madness, right? Except that it’s not, it’s our reality, which is way more colorful, interesting and beautiful than the arid one-sided representation we witness on daily basis (I’m talking about heteronormative).

So, what really drives me nuts, it’s not the fact that people seem to be scared shitless to insert us in anything (although we’re everywhere), but how little crafty they are. We have proven to be a real force of nature over the whole LGBT Fans Deserve Better initiative, which raised by far $166,547 for the Trevor Project, and we did that after being smacked down once again by showrunners. Can you imagine what we could do if people were fair to us, for a change? We’re loyal, passionate, absurdly creative and talented (have you ever seen our fanArts, read our fanfictions? They’re often better than the original stuff and we don’t get paid a coin for making them), and yet we hardly get anything.

Tv shows should listen to their audience and get smart, because it’s not a pink UFO the thing we’re asking for, it’s not something that won’t fit their story, but simply more good representation. Supergirl scored with Sanvers, but there’s still so much potential that is sadly going to waste, and if they opened their eyes they would see it.

Do you want a great, original idea? Be fair and listen.

The Story of Us

Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 

✮ Chapter Four: Bay Window ✮

Word Count: 3719

✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮ ✮

After catching the bus home that afternoon Riley is ecstatic to find a large parcel on Jed’s doorstop addressed to her.

“My clothes!” Riley exclaims as she scoops up the box and carries it inside. Riley marches right past Jed and upstairs to her room where she excitedly rips open the box. Riley’s face drops when she sees it’s contents. One by one Riley pulls out each item and tosses them to the side. Overalls, a floral jumpsuit, flared denim jeans, a yellow maxi dress, a denim vest, a polka dot dress, a paisley print dress, a skirt, a dress, a dress.

“Ugh,” Riley angrily tosses the box upside down and some coloured converses and sandals fall out. The brunette kicks the pile to the side and decides to call her mother.

“Riley?” Topanga answers, “Finally we hear from you!! How was your first day at school? How are you?”

“Just fantastic.” Riley says sarcastically, “I love that in the middle of high school you’ve sent me 2000 miles away to live with a stranger. I love it here! I never want to come home!”

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Percival Graves x Reader - Start of Something New

Start of Something New

Pairing: Percival Graves x Reader

Rating: M

Word Count: 2702

Warnings: Little frisky in places.

Request: anon - Can you write Percival Graves imagine where reader and him starting their relationship? And smut!

Not that much smut because I’m still wiped out from Pound of Flesh to be completely honest. There will be a little bit of handsy stuff though because I’m not a total fraud.

I also really wanted to write some office smut.

Hope you all enjoy!

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{PART 3: Final} Betrayal // Jay Park

Originally posted by lavender-kills

Pairing: Jay x Reader

Genre: Angst

Summary: Jay begs you to do what he deems is the right thing. Can you forgive someone for the most hurtful act of betrayal?

A/N: This is the last instalment of a small 3 part series! Thanks to everyone who messaged me and told me how much they enjoyed the first two parts. I hope this part lives up to the others excitement!

{Part 1} {Part 2} {Part 3: Final}

“I can’t believe I’m doing this” you repeated to yourself over and over in your head as you tapped your foot impatiently underneath the restaurant table.

Against your better judgement, you decided that you had no other choice but to take Jay up on his offer to meet him for lunch the next day. Although you pretty much hated the ground he walked upon, even though you would rather drink an entire bottle of bleach than to have to be in his company for any longer than necessary; you knew that you had to tell him about your pregnancy - and you realised that as soon as you saw the look on his face when he met you in the supermarket. You had specifically arrived 30 minutes before you were due to meet Jay to try and talk yourself out of telling him he was the father of your unborn child, but the longer you sat at the reserved table – the more you knew that you had to do the right thing and let him know. No matter how much of a bad taste it left in your mouth, you had to have this talk with him and tell him your intentions for the child’s future – and how you planned for Jay to not have a single input in it.

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The Various Flanderizations of Matsuno Ichimatsu

so I’ve noticed that there are…a couple of issues with the way ichi is portrayed in fan works (and by that I mean he’s flanderized – which means to take one single trait of a character and to exaggerate it until it consumes their entire character – or he’s given an out-of-character portrayal altogether), and this post is here to address those issues as well as cover ways on how to give him a more accurate portrayal reminiscent of the character in the show!

do note that I am in no way trying to boss anyone around on how to portray ichi – you are free to portray him however you wish, and I totally get it if you want to explore all the different ways to do so. on the other hand, if you do want to heed my advice because you find him particularly hard to figure out (and trust me, he is), by all means, go ahead! this is partly for myself, too, as I’m writing an ichi-centric fic and want to have some sort of reference to guide me through.

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a by no means exhaustive list of things i loved about trk:

  • there was a lot of weird and unexpected stuff, which is actually true of every book in this series? every book introduced significant characters and plot elements that weren’t present in the previous book, so trk was really just continuing in that series tradition. to me, it feels like an expansion of perspective, like a reminder that the world these characters live in is far richer and bigger than what just a handful of novels can contain.
  • “and gansey kind of wanted to live.”/“he longed to be done with the quest for glendower.” this kid has spent his whole life feeling doomed to die, feeling like he didn’t deserve to live, and now he finally allows himself to want a future, to want life after glendower, to want to live, and it’s that realization that lets his sacrifice have meaning.
  • cabeswater loves them all so damn much. and no, it’s not because ronan dreamed it–he makes it clear that it’s a separate entity from him and all he did was give it form. cabeswater doesn’t understand humans, but it loves them and it wants them to be happy.
  • literally everything about adam. before trk i would have told you i loved all of the gangsey equally, but now adam is my uncontested favorite. he is so, so confident and comfortable in who he is–he’s the magician, he’s gansey’s best friend, he’s in love with ronan lynch, he’s fatherly to opal, he’s going to college, he’s powerful, he’s worthy. he gets to directly call his parents out on their abuse and tell them that he’s open to repairing their relationship, but it’s their responsibility to be better people, not his responsibility to put up with their mistreatment. he gets to go to college and leave henrietta and achieve all his dreams, and he also gets to have a home at the barns and a found family that loves him unconditionally and would quite literally rather die than hurt him. adam’s line in the second book about how he and gansey are on perpendicular paths has always haunted me, and trk did such a beautiful job of illustrating that that’s not true, adam can have the future he wants without giving up his past or his friends.
  • cabeswater borrowed from adam’s humanity to reshape gansey because gansey had always wanted to look more like adam on the inside.
  • henry cheng. oh my god. what a glorious character. everything about him in this book was so well-foreshadowed in bllb, and he brings so much to the story. he provides a glorious little insight into what aglionby is like beyond the gang’s dismissive treatment of it, his personality is this fantastic mixture of blue and gansey’s personality traits that forces both of them to grow and develop, and he’s so KIND. he notices when people are upset or doing badly and instantly tries to help them without smothering them–bringing gansey water to stop a panic attack on raven day, encouraging gansey to address his trauma instead of repressing it, letting blue yell at him to maintain her reputation at school, telling adam they’re not going to sacrifice him, etc. also that bit about feeling like less of himself out loud is so goddamn relatable wow.
  • ptsd has always been such a huge part of gansey and ronan and adam’s characters, and in this book, they’re each able to go back to the places that their trauma occurred and feel safe. they get to heal.
  • NOAH NOAH NOAH. he appeared in so few scenes in this book, yet there were so many scenes about him, and they all did an amazing job of developing him as a character and making it more clear just how tragic noah really is. noah was this amazing, creative, hyper, vibrant kid who was unjustly robbed of the chance to grow up, and even as a ghost, he never got to be that kid again. he had every right to be angry and resentful, and he often was, but in the end, with the last of his strength, he willingly accepted his death so that gansey, and by extension everyone else, could live. (also for the record the theory that noah retroactively erased himself from the gang’s memories makes no sense so yeah, they do remember him even if they don’t mention him in the epilogue because it’s been the better part of a year and they’re back to normal life by that point. fite me.)
  • finally finding out wtf was going on in so many mysterious characters’ heads, like noah and neeve and declan.
  • “make sure ronan was the name of the hero, and not just another spear.” and “[the lynch brothers] all loved cars, themselves, and each other.” i don’t know whether “themselves” or “each other” is destroying me more. both? both is good.
  • persephone saving adam and giving him the same advice she’s been giving him the whole series–that he’s more powerful than he realizes, and he doesn’t have to put up with being mistreated.
  • the scene with all the psychics in the bathroom giving blue advice. blue being horrified at the thought of gansey having been dead long enough that she could fall in love with someone else. orla being her usual no-bullshit self and also trying to braid maura’s hair. jimi pulling blue onto her lap and rubbing her back when she’s upset. that was such an authentic moment, such a real reminder that this is a family.
  • helen asking gansey if he’s sleeping with adam and/or ronan.
  • the emergency room scene when gansey finally stops being mr. conflict avoidance! he gets angry at ronan for being an asshole instead of just trying to soothe ronan’s asshole behavior, and he tells adam and ronan about him and blue dating, and it’s gr8. i would have liked to see a lot more of this side of gansey tbh.
  • blue and ronan being the true bros we all knew they could be.
  • even without labels, the book makes it 100% clear that adam is bisexual, not gay and lying about his attraction to women or straight with an exception for ronan. insert lyrics to “gettin’ bi” from crazy ex-girlfriend here.
  • ronan and adam flirting like hell the whole book. oh yeah, you totally have to touch each other’s hands and faces to talk about magic fuckery. mmhm. adam making cabeswater sound like ronan’s shitty electronic music just to make ronan grin. “are you working after school?” “with a dreamer.” oh my god the flirting did not stop.
  • the entire night at the barns. ronan gently kissing adam in his childhood bedroom on his eighteenth birthday with his family at home! ronan and declan finally reconciling and both realizing that the other really does love them and is trying to do the best thing for the family! the idea of the “night for truth”–everyone being 100% honest and communicative with each other with no judgment! adam asking gansey if he loves blue and how he can tell! gansey saying that blue calms his agitation, that she feels like henrietta, that she feels like the home he’s been searching for! adam telling gansey about him and ronan and gansey’s top priority not being details of the past (since when, but you’re both guys, etc.) but making sure they don’t get hurt! adam and ronan making out for hours, studying tattoos, kissing fingers, speaking latin (i’d fight tooth and nail for you)! adam waking up the next morning realizing he feels the stillness gansey was talking about, that he’s been looking back for months, that this isn’t just an ego trip, that he wants ronan with everything he has, that he’s in this for the long haul!
  • from that point on through the rest of the book, ronan and adam are so protective of each other. the second maura pulls adam back from discovering aurora, his first move is to worry about ronan. he sleeps in the passenger seat of the bmw so ronan won’t have to be alone. when he’s possessed, ronan supports him and restrains him with a hug, and adam says the worst part of being possessed is hearing ronan suffer.
  • they’re so fucking?? domestic?? they literally have an adopted daughter?? and in the epilogue adam’s driving the bmw and either living at or spending a lot of time at the barns and like, oh my god they’re basically married.
  • opal is so so cool, she provides so much information about ronan and about how the magic of the series works, plus she’s just generally wonderful and adorable.
  • aurora was a++ before she died, and i was so fascinated by the little notes and scenes implying she was much more human and passionate when niall was alive–that even cabeswater isn’t as powerful as niall lynch.
  • cabeswater being dreamt into existence was so brilliantly foreshadowed (most overtly by calla and ronan calling it a dream in tdt) and yet i didn’t see it coming, which is the best kind of plot twist.
  • i did see glendower being dead coming, and i loved it. if he’d been alive, it would have been so narratively weird and such a letdown, because even if the favor hadn’t turned out to be magical/useful, his very awakening still would have taken the weight of the climax off the protagonist’s shoulders. plus, it paved the way for gansey being the first sleeper and the true king on the ley line.
  • artemus and gwenllian added so much to the mythology and worldbuilding of the series, and they allow blue to finally be something more, even if it’s not exactly what she’d pictured.
  • the gray man gave up his life in henrietta to protect the town from people like laumonier, which was pretty much the best possible ending for the character from a reader’s perspective.
  • so much was left open to fan speculation–we were given a general roadmap for what their future holds, and then told to fill in the details ourselves. it was the perfect balance of information and open-endedness and i’m overjoyed by it (in case the fact that i’ve written over 10k words and counting of fanfiction about just the months between chapter 67 and the climax didn’t tip you off to that).
  • way back in the very first book, we were told that where there’s a god, there’s always a legion of devils. that legion came out in full force in this book. there’s a literal demon, yes, but devils don’t have to be supernatural–they can be just be people who want to hurt you (adam thinks of his father, ronan thinks of kavinsky, and of course there’s laumonier and piper).
  • henry’s madonna t-shirt.

Anon Submission On Arophobia and What Alloromantics Can Do 

So on the recent things with Jughead and the erasure of his aromanticism, as an aroace who’s been hurt by this, I kinda wanted to, discuss the general issue? Aromantic erasure, throwing aros under the bus, those are things that aren’t rare, even in the ace community.

Edit Notes: title added and under read more for length concerns.

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blackdionysus  asked:

(1/3 because I'm always finding fics where they like confess to each other and then like the next day someones gettin penetrated and THEN they decide to date and its like jc slow down guys. i mean its fine i guess it just bothers me that they hardly ever get to talk about their relationship in fics like this besides harry saying "the wars over" or "we were kids we've grown since then things are different" in post howarts fics and no one saying anything else about it ever again.

2/3  and im like hey i see that you wanna ship stress free but theres more to it than that like with their history i can’t imagine them hooking up without a whole lotta apologized and schooling on what they did wrong and why. i mean it could just be me but if i were harry, draco sparing my life and liking me wouldnt make me suddenly absolve him of how he treated me and my friends before + the general rottenness. and bc of how they treat each other i have a hard time imagining them suddenly being

3/3 comfortable with or getting too close to one another without giving each other time to adjust to the shift in their relationship and develop trust. bc you can have mixed feeling for someone and i cant see either of them wanting to fuck/feeling so sorry for one another SO badly that theyd let it override everything else (bullying/racism/guilt). i mean i really hate to complain but like 90% of dracos redemption is always chalked up to either 1)his dad raised him wrong or 2)the war is over

Hey @arima-fucker​! I have some thoughts! (lolol #themeoftheday) I’m hanging on to the first part of this, which was a rec request, because I’m not taking rec requests at the moment but would like to put out a general call for recs where Draco and Harry get into their history, and will compile whatever other people come up with (with credit ofc!!) and think on some myself.

Before I get into it, just a general “Hey, I agree!” Because hey, I agree.

I do wish there was more H/D fic that really addressed the stuff that goes down between them in canon because holy shit that is not little stuff. Draco is part of a genocidal movement that killed Harry’s parents and godfather and would like to kill him and his two best friends, too. Draco also is a pretty big bully. There’s name-calling, there’s taunting, there’s the time he led a school-wide campaign against Harry, there’s the time Draco interrupts Harry’s game by showing up dressed as his biggest fear and it messes him up so badly he’s pretty seriously hurt iirc, and Draco does that just for fun. And yes, Harry talks back, and yes Hermione punches him, and yes Harry Sectumsempras him, but imo it’s really not on the same level. And yes, Draco was a minor and under a lot of pressure, but even if you set aside the Death Eater stuff (which is a pretty tall order) how many of us would look back at our childhood bullies and go “Hey, we all had rough childhoods, let’s make up and also get in my body right now”? Not many. I’ve been out of elementary school a long time and there are still a couple of guys I might like to kick in the nads. Even if you can forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that you forget how they made you feel. Even if there’s an explanation for someone’s behavior, it doesn’t undo the harm they caused.

For a long time that put me off this ship completely. Could not, would not.

It’s since become one of the things I find most interesting about this ship. What changes in circumstance can make us empathize with our enemies? What does someone have to do to be redeemed? What is forgivable? What isn’t? How far does forgiveness extend? What role does love and/or attraction play in all of that? Does forgiveness have to come first? Or redemption? Or are interpersonal relationships what make people willing to re-examine their beliefs in the first place? When so much fic skips over the hashing out of their history, that’s a lot of fic that’s skipping over potential storytelling goldmines, and that’s a loss. How human, how deep, how interesting are those stories? I know I like to read them. They’re not the only thing I like to read, and yeah sometimes I wanna ship relatively stress-free, but I do wish there was more of this, and more of this went beyond “two sides of the same coin” “we were both young and coerced” “it’s the fault of the last generation” “the war is over and we’re older now.” And I think that can be done!

Then want to separate it out into three things. Under the cut because this is already long. 1) The Role of Fanon, 2) Having Sex vs Falling in Love, 3) Redemption Doesn’t Have to be a Bummer, 3A) Ways that Draco Malfoy Can Demonstrate Redemption Without Becoming a Defanged Fluffy Puppy and/or Miserable Penitent

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Part 2

P1: Your father hating vampires after your mother became one and teaching you how to kill them when you were younger, but you don’t want to do it anymore and you fall in love with Klaus Mikaelson. Imagine Nik finding him years later after he discovers that it’s him who wants to kill the Mikaelson family, so he attempts to torture and kill him but he escapes.

Imagine after the threat of your father, you and Klaus have your final argument. You break up after an explosive fight, and your father wins.

Originally posted by showandwrite

He was sat on the chair in his bedroom, only the lamp on the bedside table illuminating his face. That was all you needed to see that he was furious. Since the meeting with your father and the tense atmosphere that followed, things between the two of you had been strained and you had just needed to get away. You knew now that he was scared, he’d been communicating with Marcel and the Strix, and Elijah had been using Kol and Davina to find out what was happening in the coven. You father had managed to completely change everything in New Orleans, including your relationship with Nik. The two of you had barely been speaking, despite the fact that he moved you into the complex almost immediately after the day you saw your dad. So you had gone out tonight, you’d spent the evening at one of the bars not too far from the quarter and it felt great to not have to deal with the Mikaelson drama or Nik’s mood.
“Where were you?” His tone was cold and cut through the air. You leant on the doorframe and pulled off your high heels.
“Nik, its very late for conversation and I just want to go to bed.” He jumped up out of the seat and snapped on the light as you headed towards the bathroom. He used his speed to block the door and you stepped back, a look of disgust on your face.
“Where were you, [Y/N]?” This time it was even more harsh.
“I met a friend.” You matched his clipped tone and stared straight into his face. You spun round before he could say anything else, giving up on taking off your makeup, and grabbed the pyjamas from the edge of the bed.
“I can tell when your lying.” Klaus’s voice was loud, and you knew he was on the verge of shouting. The sudden outburst shocked you, causing you to jump before turning to face him.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” You were tempted to yell back, but you were conscious that everyone could already here what was happening between the two of you.
“You’re going to run, aren’t you?” Nik’s voice was softer now, but you could still see the anger in his eyes. “Just like he said you would.”
“I had to get away Nik. What else am I supposed to do? Sit quietly in the corner and not say anything while you and Elijah plot your next move. I don’t want to do that, I can’t do that.” He didn’t say anything at first, just turned round and moved to the other side of the room.
“I am trying to involve you. That’s why I did what I did. Why I moved you into the compound to try and protect you!” He flung his arm out and gestured to the room around him.
You strode across the room to where he was stood, grabbing a bottle of scotch off the bedside table as you went.
“You mean when you moved me in here so you could keep tabs on me.”
He laughed. “So you think that’s why I did it. Seriously?”
“Yes, I do. I know that being here is a sick, sadistic punishment. That’s why you moved me here.” You took a long swig from the bottle. Nik’s face frosted over and the same furious expression took over again.
“Punishment for what?” You knew, and he knew, that you were both thinking of your father. Of the fact that it had become clear exactly one day after you saw him that Nik blamed you, the first night he was kind and sympathetic, telling you he wouldn’t leave you, giving you permission to take Hope and go when things go rough and expressing his love for you. That had lasted just that evening. Now the resentment really set in.
“For my father.” Really this is the first time you had addressed it. The whole family had talked to great lengths about how they were going to fight him, how to win back the quarter, all the normal stuff. But no one had spoken about how you played into it, and the threat that you posed, no one had mentioned the fact that they all blamed you for the threat to their life - even Elijah.
“This has nothing to do with him, this-“
You cut him off-“of course it’s to do with him. Since he turned up, everything always is.”
You took another drink.
“Which part to do you blame me for the most? What’s happening now or the fact that he escaped because of me?” Nik didn’t say anything so you continued. “Am I indebted to you now, do I owe you now? Should I be on my knees begging for forgiveness? Spend my days apologising to you?” You could feel the tears building up in your chest and your voice becoming more hysterical, much louder and shaky. “Live in this cage for you - not even breathe for you! What must I do to earn your forgiveness for who my father is??” Nik’s own eyes were filling with tears but you couldn’t allow yourself to feel bad for what you were saying. It had been too long in the making, if you had talked about it sooner then maybe it wouldn’t have been as explosive as it was becoming.
You could feel yourself ranting but you couldn’t stop. “What should I do? Huh? Let you treat me like a child, become the perfect girlfriend, your possession! Now you tell me who wouldn’t run?”
Silence filled the room and you regarded each other for a moment. Your mind started to fill with images of your relationship together; after Nik had Hope, he’d been to see a witch who told him that he could reproduce on a full moon, so when you two got together you’d discussed children. When he started to become distant after the meeting with your father, you had known the end was near for the two of you, but coming home after the bar - you hadn’t expected it to be tonight.
“You want to know who wouldn’t run?” You had moved away from each other in the fight, but know Klaus walked over to you. “Someone capable of being in a relationship when times are hard, someone capable of not being afraid of being alone.” After your rant, some of the anger had dispersed but now it was back. Klaus was the most terrified person of being alone, that you’d ever met.
“If you were someone capable of being alone, then you wouldn’t keep suffocating me. You’d let me breathe.”
Nik’s face was close to yours now. He was looking down at you, his angry expression matching yours.
“I wasn’t trying to suffocate you. I was trying to protect you.”
“No, you’re trying to protect YOU.”
The tension was building again, and now you were going back and forth. Both of you were getting louder after each sentence.
“I’m trying to save us both.”
“There is no us!” You yelled, right into his face. “There is no children, there is no happiness, there is no future. Not for us. Not anymore.” You turned around and placed a hand on the wall, using it for support, and had yet another drink. There was silence behind you and you knew it was over. The two of you had no more fight left, your father had won.
You sat down on the edge of the bed, the bottle of scotch swilling round in your hand. Nik stood watching you for a moment, before sitting down next to you. Now you both had to just accept it, it had been coming for weeks. Your father had known as soon as he’d made his threat, the pressure was going to be too much for the two of you. You weren’t angry at him, not really, you were angry at the situation. So was he. Without looking at him, you offered the bottle and he took a long drink before passing it back so you could do the same.
“We tried.” He said softly.
This time you did look up at him. Tomorrow you would go, you would back up your stuff and go pack to your old place and think about everything you’ve lost then. Right now, it was late and you were numb. The pain would come tomorrow. “We did.”

Yes, why not! I actually like this better than I remembered but ultimately the Ben POV fizzled for me, maybe because I’ve written so many/too many MLB player POVs already :B 

[Snoke owns the team and is Hux’s uncle. He brought Hux in to deal with a PR crisis and has dismissed him now that the crisis is averted]


Ben’s mother has always accused him of being a romantic. She would argue that it’s not an accusation, and he has argued that it’s not the right word. He defies description and doesn’t like labels, though he has to admit that his tendency to obsessively envision important future moments in his life might qualify him as ‘romantic-leaning.’ For most of his childhood he vividly envisioned what it would be like to sign a contract with an MLB team, which didn’t involve vomiting after making the decision to start in the minors instead of going to college. He also spent a lot of time picturing his first start in the majors, which didn’t involve giving up a grand slam and taking the loss after pitching six scoreless innings. In addition to his dreams of athletic success, he’s spent a not insignificant amount of time imagining what it would be like to ask someone to marry him, and none of his fantasies about this important moment in his life involved a surly English asshole who lifts his lip in response to the proposal and says ‘Don’t be absurd’ before forking another section of grapefruit into his mouth.

“Why is it absurd?” Ben asks, as harshly as possible, as if the reiteration of his marriage proposal is a threat.

Hux swallows his grapefruit and looks at Ben from across the breakfast table, blinks twice, then eats another section of grapefruit.

“Answer me!” Ben demands, and he pounds the table with his fist, rattling the dishes.

Hux is not rattled. Nothing gets to him. Not even being asked to marry the most promising young pitcher in major league baseball.

“I was complaining about my visa situation,” Hux says, looking up and to the right, as if he’s addressing a sympathetic audience in a balcony– as if this is a play. “And in response to my remarks you said, ‘why don’t you just marry me?’ Do I really need to itemize all the things that are absurd about that statement? Even for you?”

“If you marry me you don’t have to go back to England,” Ben says. It’s a simple solution to a world-ending problem. How Hux doesn’t see this is a testament to his alleged genius-level thinking having some serious loopholes. “Problem solved,” Ben says when Hux just stares at him.

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AN: That witchcraft AU that also nobody asked for. And that is very uniformed about actual witchcraft. This is more… “fantasy-witch” than actual witchcraft and I hope that I managed to convey that somehow without being disrespectful? If I am, anyway, do tell me. Secondly, somewhere around last may I read a story about Witch!Darcy by Archetype_ElectraHeat on Ao3. It’s called “Bewitched, bothered and bewildered”, and I loved this witch!darcy. And I think my witch!darcy was unconsciously influenced by her Darcy, who is wonderfully grounded and really a pleasure to read. So, go read it. And err… what else? Oh, yes. Right. The things about the actual thing. Darcy is around … 40 here. Very much for @leftylain, and her goats who guard Darcyland. Felt right for the prompt of “rituals”, you know.

Picture AN: The girl top left is the actress Nicole Muñoz, btw.

Length: 1.965 words

Title from: Under Pressure by Queen feat. David Bowie

Day 2: What this world is about

The door was thrown open, Darcy took a sip from her mug. Mentally she counted.

The door was thrown shut. A metallic sound informed Darcy that her godchild had dropped the helmet where she stood, again.

“Aunt Darcy!” Ana bellowed through the house, eight seconds later. She noticeably didn’t even care to wait for a reply and instead came storming down the hallway.

Twelve seconds.

And then her steps faltered. A silence stretched.

“Is that a goat in your living room?”

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negative social effects of my mastectomy

Before I was given the go-ahead to have a procedure that would deeply and irreversibly change the way I was perceived in the world, medical professionals should have warned me that a change would in fact happen. I knew that I was physically changing but I drastically underestimated the repercussions of this physical change on my social well-being. I did not at all imagine, the night before my top surgery, that my social anxiety would actually increase as a result of the procedure. The idea is that straightforward transition-related therapies are there to make your social life easier, right? This is not the case for everyone, it is much more complex than that. 

Before my mastectomy, I pretty much looked like a big dyke–big boobs, buzzcut, the whole package–so I was read as female the majority of the time. Maybe one out of ten times a person would genuinely think I was a man, but usually they just thought (and rightly so) that I was a big, gross dyke. They weren’t so nice to me about that, as you can imagine. After my top surgery, however, I pass as male closer to eight or nine times out of ten. When I discussed my dysphoria with healthcare providers, we didn’t talk about the social aspects of looking ‘like’ a woman versus looking ‘like’ a man, and what my comfort levels with either of these setups were. We just talked about how I felt physically uncomfortable because of my breasts and resolved to take them off, as per the current standard of care for any dysphoric female. 

So, I was totally unprepared when people started treating me like a man pretty much overnight. No one had discussed this with me or had even brought it up as a potential issue beforehand. Being read as a man wasn’t what I had signed up for or what I had intended with my top surgery, I simply wanted to relieve my dysphoria. I prescribed to some understanding of myself that wasn’t quite trans man but was definitely not ‘woman’ either; a very hodge-podge understanding crafted straight from modern queer understandings of gender. Make your own. In deciding to get my mastectomy, I underestimated how simple the vast majority of peoples’ perceptions of man and woman are, I underestimated just how well I would fit into most peoples’ ‘man’ category once my breasts were removed, and I underestimated how much the majority’s perceptions would actually effect my life. This massive misjudgment is so ridiculous that it is practically delusional, and I think the fact that I was so surprised at this result is a huge testament to how fucking detached I was from my body, my self, the world, whatever. Those issues should have been addressed before proceeding with the surgery, full stop. 

A common theme in detransitioned women’s writings is the experience of extreme discomfort with being treated as men upon receiving hormone therapies or mastectomies. Usually, this experience is very mixed. On the one hand, people are noticeably nicer to us when we’re suddenly read as men–It’s like being recognized as a complete person, out of the blue, after previously being perceived as a half-person. Much less is expected of me when people believe I am a man. On the flipside of this, it is incredibly jarring to have that kind of favoritism bestowed upon you so suddenly if you’ve been socialized as female your entire life. I still find myself in moments of psychological shock because of the difference in how people treated girl-me versus (apparent) man-me. It is equally upsetting to find yourself in a group of exclusively men and hear, first hand, the horrible stuff that men say about women when they think that no one is listening. In short, the relatively sudden effects of transition can result in a feeling of being thrown out into totally alienating and upsetting territory. 

I think it has to be emphasized that this throwing-out results in discomfort that is not just political in nature, although the political discomfort is also important. As a feminist, it was politically abhorrent to me to be the recipient of much kinder treatment when read as male than when I was ever read as female. The psychological discomfort of this situation, though, is unbearable. The scripts for the people talking to me don’t match up for the scripts I have because of more than twenty years of socialization as a girl. I find myself at a loss for words, totally socially stunted because I am constantly three steps behind in the interaction, trying to figure out how people read me. Or I’m doing damage control because I have to explain that yes I do in fact use she/her. Or I’m dealing with someone who’s getting angry because they are confused about me, or I feel guilty and ashamed for inconveniencing someone with my apparently confusing appearance. Its a fucking mess and I’d rather just stay inside and not deal with it most days. 

Basically this is a very long way of saying that I wish someone had told me what this was actually going to be like, how living in this body in this world was really going to turn out. I had the impression that everything would be hunky-dory once I had a medical intervention for dysphoria. The medical institution, for all its trans success stories, really let me down. Gender-queer and nonbinary and trans-masculine gender fucker (Make your own) are not medical options at this point, simply because they are not socially intelligible categories in the world at large. Gender-wise, you will get boxed in somehow once you are out in the world, and the way you are boxed in, as gender-non-conforming person with physical alterations, may not end up being what you signed up for. Moreover, the way you are boxed may cause you more harm, more trauma and more anxiety in the long run because of the intense social dissonance it will foster. It has certainly had this effect for me. If I had known that I was going to be read like this, as a man or a fucking freak no matter what I do, I probably would not have chosen this path again (despite the personal relief from breast dysphoria) simply because of the effects it has had on my social well-being. At the very least, not informing a patient about the potential effects of any procedure on their physical, psychological, and social heath (!) is something less than complete informed consent, and that is a huge red flag. 

anonymous asked:

could you do one where the reader and spencer once dated didn't end so well, but they have to still work together and they have hatred for each other then while working on a case the U sub takes the reader and spencer doesn't realize what he left behind and they rescue her and they get admit they never stopped loving eahch other and lots of fluff (sorry if that's confusing )

Can you do imagine reid x reader based on we don’t talk anymore charlie puth song. The reader leave because spencer choosing maeve than her and few years later spencer realise that he can’t move on. Thankyouu

Not Anymore Part 1

Note- The team didn’t know about their relationship-

We don’t talk anymore, we don’t talk anymore
We don’t talk anymore, like we used to do
We don’t love anymore
What was all of it for?
Oh, we don’t talk anymore, like we used to do

Love was a force that inspired a lot of things. The magic of the feeling inspired a lot of things; poems, songs, stories, cheesy movies and that sort of thing. It was so addicting that even with the great risk of breaking your heart or losing the one you love due too unforeseen circumstances, we mere humans all flock to it like a moth to a flame.

When you first started having feelings for Dr. Reid, it felt so…warm. When he returned his affections you felt like you were wrapped in a blanket of protection and care. The both of you created beautiful memories in your time together.

It seemed the closest to perfect that two humans could possible have until Spencer started having headache problems, which led him to call a geneticist, Meave Donovan.

It’s funny….how that one call led to a relationship- if you could call it that. It was filled with meeting each other in secret behind your back, hushed phone calls, hidden messages. When you found out about her, you were heartbroken. Even with the constant reminders from Spencer that they weren’t doing anything sexual or even kissed, it still hurt you.

I just heard you found the one you’ve been looking for

“Spencer.” You approached him one morning, face still red from crying, eyes bloodshot. After a few months of dating you two had moved in together. At first it made you happy, everything of yours mixed together with his, but now you just wanted to take all of his belongings and throw them out the window or burn them. “You need to tell me the truth.”

He looked up from his coffee mug, eyebrows furrowing. “What do you want to know?” He questioned. You took a deep breath, about to begin when his phone buzzed. Your heart panged when you saw her name, and it felt almost soul-crushing when he turned away from you to start answering her back.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” You laughed wryly, your hand going though your hair. “You need to get your priorities in order. When the rare occasion occurs that we don’t have cases, we should be spending time with each other.”

“I spend plenty of time with you.” He said, standing up and grabbing his jacket. Your eyes widened at his actions and his words.

“Tell me exactly how much time is ‘plenty’ enough for the person you love?” You replied flabbergasted, following him as he started walking out the door. “Where are you going?”

“Meave said she needed to meet me.” He said as if it was the most simple thing in the entire universe. You laughed once more, not believing he was actually doing this to you. “I need you here! For goodness sakes’ we’re in the middle of a conversation Spencer!” you cried. “You and Meave cannot go on any longer, not unless you want to lose me.”

He didn’t seem to even be paying that much attention to you, as he opened the apartment door and started to leave. “I’ll talk to you a bit more about it later. Bye!” He called, the door shutting, the sound echoing throughout the apartment.

I wish I would have known that wasn’t me

You snapped the rubber band on your wrist, jumping at the painful contact. It was…as you recall.. the therapist said it was aversion therapy. Every time you thought out Spencer you were supposed to snap the band so that you would associate him with pain.

Cause even after all this time I still wonder
Why I can’t move on
Just the way you did so easily

It was like he didn’t even remember your existence at work. You guess he never really felt anything for you, that you were just a fun little plaything to pass the time with.

I just hope you’re lying next to somebody
Who knows how to love you like me
There must be a good reason that you’re gone
Every now and then I think you
Might want me to come show up at your door
But I’m just too afraid that I’ll be wrong

Don’t wanna know
If you’re looking into her eyes
If she’s holding onto you so tight the way I did before
I overdosed
Should’ve known your love was a game
Now I can’t get you out of my brain
Oh, it’s such a shame

Why the hell was it so impossible to let go of the past? It had been almost two years since you had left the apartment and yet every time you look at Spencer you just wanted everything to go back to normal. To be in that sweet phase when you two first started your relationship.

“Y/n.” Hotch’s voice drew you out of your thoughts, and you turned to look at him, face flushing seeing that he and the rest of the team were all sitting together, reviewing the case. You all were in the round room, discussing a new serial killer that was on the loose.

“Sorry.” You apologized sheepishly, pulling out the files. You saw Spencer staring at you and you sobered up, shoving your mixed feelings deep inside as you focused on Hotch and helped solve the case.

Several women who had popular online presences where abducted and found dead with a weapon similar to what made them popular. Amanda Kinley, who did cooking videos on YouTube, was found stabbed with a chef’s knife. Lauren Rutherford, a popular make-up tutor, was burned alive by her hair iron. Lastly, Delaney LeBel, a fitness trainer, was drowned in a swimming pool. The common thread between the three was that before they were murdered, their eyes were scooped out and ears were cut off.

It was all very puzzling.

You and the team talked about theories, Hotch ordering you both up in pairs to interview people, talk to local PD, etc. Once the meting adjourned you saw Spencer checking his phone, face practically lighting up from the name he read on the screen. No doubt it was Meave. You sighed heavily and walked right past him, reminding yourself that you needed to hit a bar sometime when you finished.

Don’t wanna know
If you’re looking into her eyes
If she’s holding onto you so tight the way I did before
I overdosed
Should’ve known your love was a game
Now I can’t get you out of my brain
Oh, it’s such a shame

That we don’t talk anymore.

(Spencer’s POV)

Spencer remembered the day he came home. The day he found all of your stuff gone. At first he was shocked that you didn’t say anything, that you just left, and while he was angry, he was also happy because that meant he was finally allowed to be with Meave.

Meave just seemed to understand him, somehow better than you. Maybe it w because she was smart and a geneticist, so they could talk a lot, but she ever seemed to make him laugh. Little stuff about her started bothering him, like the fact that she was whiny, or she never washed the dishes completely. They may be stupid facts but Spencer always seemed to compare you to her, and with everyday that passed by he started missing you.

He always knew that he should have paid attention to what you said before he left. Maybe then he wouldn’t have lost you.

We don’t talk anymore, we don’t talk anymore
We don’t talk anymore, like we used to do
We don’t love anymore
What was all of it for?
Oh, we don’t talk anymore, like we used to do

When they returned from the case you (very loudly) announced you were heading out to a bar, and that you would drive anyone who wanted to come with which resulted in Morgan, Garcia, and Tara following you. Spencer was wondering what was happening with you, wanting to ask you from the past few days about if you still missed him as much as he missed you.

That night when he returned home, he found Meave already in bed, the kitchen cluttered. He sighed heavily, almost tripping on lose clothes she had just left there. He bit his lip and headed to the kitchen, deciding he would just deal with it later. He just wanted to eat something but it seemed like Meave didn’t go shopping and so besides for ketchup, soft tortilla shells, and some lettuce, there was practically nothing.

The sound of his phone buzzing in his messenger bag started him, and he went to take it out, his footsteps echoing across the kitchen tiles. He saw poorly taken pictures from Garcia of all of you guys, noticing that you had changed into that familiar f/c dress. Another picture was sent of you dancing with a stranger, too close together for Spencer’s comfort.

Don’t wanna know
What kind of dress you’re wearing tonight
If he’s holding onto you so tight
The way I did before
I overdosed
Should’ve known your love was a game
Now I can’t get you out of my brain
Oh, it’s such a shame

The next day, you didn’t show up to work, the team figuring you had a massive hang-over. Because of all the over time you put in when you and Spencer first broke up, Hotch waved your absence…. but then everyone was worried when you didn’t show up the day after that.

Spencer took it into his own hands to go and see you, deciding that somehow it would be the perfect time to apologize to you. As someone great once said, “People do crazy things, when they’re in love.” Now, this seemed more stupid then crazy, but Meave drove Spencer to the brink of madness, and he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

When he approached your door (after asking Garcia for your address), he noticed that something was off. He knocked, but no one answered. Eventually his knocking caught the attention of your neighbor, Mrs. Everett, a sweet, old woman.

“She’s not there boy.” She said with a dissatisfied look on her face.  Her dark hair looked rumpled and disorderly, probably being woken up from a nap. “She brought home a man yesterday, and I think they left. I heard a lot of particular sounds though.”

“Did you think nothing of it?” Spencer asked, his worry for you increasing. The woman shrugged.

“If you didn’t realize, I’m not exactly in the prime of my life, I don’t know what things kids do nowadays.”

‘I swear I’m a friend of Y/n’s, do you happen to have a spare key?“ She nodded, holding up her finger as she disappeared in her apartment to find it. “Just leave it on the counter when you’re done, I’m going back to bed.”

He unlocked the door after accepting the key from the old woman, seeing the apartment an utter mess. He knew you had your days, but this was concerning. Furniture was messed up, your fridge door was open, and cutlery all over the floor. He then noticed small scratches all over the floor and walls.

Spencer grabbed his phone and pressed an auto-dial number, the man picking up in a few seconds. “Hotch I think Y/n’s been kidnapped.”

On the College Essay

Well, first some life updates:

  • I own a chocolate fountain. I got it at my grad party because my dad and I were setting up for it and we found it in our attic. I’ve actually owned it for a while now but I realized I never put it on my blog and I felt like it should be here.
  • Also I’m working on that database at work (and trust me, it’s keeping me pretty busy) and this week I was so mad at the code I anger quacked at it the other day. Then MIT Student Life retweeted it: 
  • So if the combination of my angry quacking and chocolate fountain doesn’t get me a date first semester, I’m going to be disappointed.
  • Also Nate Ruess’s new album is kind of my life right now and I think it’s a work of art and everyone is sick of listening to me talk about it and my boss is also tired of it and my remixes I’ve been making during my lunch breaks and it sounds amazing in my computer and makes me want to film so many things and I should be doing physics and…I’m even listening to it right now. ART!!!

But this entry actually isn’t about my quacking or chocolate fountains! It’s about the college essay!

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Our Bubble - Luke Hemmings Imagine - Part 6

Summary: After bursting your perfect bubble and letting everyone in on your relationship, you’re faced with a heartbreaking decision between what your head and your heart wants.

Word count: 4.3K

Part 5

I lead him outside with him following pretty well I thought. Ashton was waiting right out back where he said he’d be. The back of the place was in stark contrast to the front. There was garbage bins everywhere and two of those big skips too, all overflowing with rubbish. It was stinking as well, the stench of God knows what was seeping out from the bins. It seems that this was also used as a urinal judging by my burning nose. I wondered how Ashton had managed to stomach the smell for so long. He must have an iron lined gut or something.

Ashton gave me a nod before turning his attention to Luke.

“Hey buddy. I was just about to head back, you wanna come with me? I think they’re closing soon anyways.” Ashton’s voice was light and casual but judging by the look on Luke’s face that didn’t matter. He looked really aware of what was going on, obviously not as drunk any more as I thought he was. Maybe that bash to the head got it out of him.

“No. There’s no drink at your place, it’s all healthy shit. Fuck this, I’m going back in.” Luke turned back around but the door had already shut and it looked like it was locked from the inside. He pushed it a little but it didn’t budge. Sighing, he stuck his hands into his pockets and put his head down before walking past me and Ashton.

“No, Luke. Stay with me. Come on, you don’t want to go back in there.” I pleaded with him.

It was more like I didn’t want him to go back in there. He barely looked at me though. He just kept his gaze downcast and his eye’s knitted together as he tried to keep walking, ignoring me. I rushed up and stepped in front of him, placing my hand on his chest and forcing him to stop and look at me.

As soon as my hand touched his chest he stopped resisting and looked into my eyes. I saw all the pain behind them. I could see how much anger he was harbouring for me, almost making him look like a different person. He was never an angry person, he was always so gentle and kind. I couldn’t feel any worse about myself right now if I tried. I left because I thought I was ‘saving us’ sparing each other from a life half lived, but I can see now that I’ve ruined him. I’ve twisted him into some obscure version of himself when he was perfect as he was.

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How to spot an obvious troll in the otherkin tags.

I saw a post the other day where someone was saying that they aren’t sure how to identify trolls. Before getting into it, I want to say that there are other ways to suck as an otherkin besides just being a troll. You can be a lousy person with toxic ideas and still be serious about your kin type. That should be addressed, for sure. However, there are a lot of people who are so obviously trolling that their blogs are not worth a second glance. Somehow, those are the people we waste 95% of our time defending our reputations and identities against. Below, I’ve made a list of things that probably mean someone’s a troll. All the examples are made up, but they’re pretty damn close to stuff I’ve actually seen in the tags.

1.      Any post containing the phrase “stop oppressing me.” If an actual otherkin disagrees with the prevailing idea that we are not oppressed, he probably knows by now that his opinion will be unpopular and likely even get him hate/horrible anon messages. If he really wanted people to understand his feelings of oppression, he would have to write a lengthy post justifying his position and politely requesting that the discussion surrounding oppression be re-opened. I have seen posts like this before.

Instead of doing ANY of that, trolls write things kind of like this:



The way trolls write often suggests that it is self-evident that grass needs representation on TV because having a house plant is slavery. Even if someone actually believed that having house plants was slavery, no one in their right mind would expect everyone to immediately go “oh, wow, now that I think about it, yeah!” without any explanation as to why or how having a plant in your house (rather than outside) is slavery. Angry posts that demand you “check your privilege” but offer no context for why you should do this are troll posts.

2.      Any post that contains really angry statements followed by “uwu.”



The “uwu” looks ridiculous next to these all-caps screaming statements. No one who is serious does this.

3.      Any post where someone describes needing to eat inedible things in order to physically survive. People who are serious about being kin might want to eat food that they associate with their kin types, but no one seriously believes that their human body needs to eat diamonds, rocks, or other non-food items in order to survive.  


If someone actually ate a diamond, they would probably get sick (best case scenario) or end up in the ER (worst case scenario). Either way, they would quickly learn that their body cannot process that as food. Therefore, if someone is claiming theirs can, they’re a troll.

4.      Anyone who automatically adopts new pronouns the moment they awaken as otherkin. Some otherkin are also trans/non-binary/what-have-you and choose to use neo-pronouns. However, people who are not trans know they are not trans, and I have a hard time believing that anyone who’s serious actually thinks their gender is cat.

“I’m a 17-year-old girl who just realized I’m voidkin, so I guess it’s voidself now.”

“For a long time, I’ve felt like my gender was somewhere between whale blubber and football. I guess that kinda makes me genderfluid because I fluctuate between those two things, but I think blubself really has a nice ring to it, so I’m thinking of going with blubber pronouns.”

5.      Anyone whose “kin type” is obviously some convoluted political statement or non-subtle jab against trans people rather than an actual identity.

“I identify as not-in-debt-kin, which is also known as trans-not-in-debt-ual. My pronouns are don’t, charge, and me. If Sallie Mae calls again, I’m going to yell at them for not respecting my new identity!”

“I’m gonna identify as a dolphin and demand a fish tank in my office building and insist on being fed live fish! If people won’t do this, I will decide they are oppressing me. SEE HOW THIS IS EXACTLY THE SAME AS WHAT CAITLYN JENNER IS DOING????”

6.      Anyone who makes posts that are nothing but an announcement of their kin type (which is usually something inanimate like a chair or a desk lamp) followed by a melodramatic speech which feels like a mean-spirited parody of how LGBTQQIA2SP people often talk about coming out.

“I’m desk lamp kin. Ever since I was a little child, I’ve always been very upset that I couldn’t press down on my foot and make light come out of my nose. This has been so isolating and alienating! Every time I go to Office Max, I strike up conversations with inanimate lamps. My mom thinks I’m crazy for doing this because she doesn’t understand the deep emotional impact that being a desk lamp has on me. Last year, I finally got up the courage to wear a lamp shade on my head. For the first time in my life, I felt FREE. I felt like MYSELF, but then my school sent me home because they don’t allow hats at school. FUCK MY SCHOOL. It’s not a hat!!!! This is how I express myself. I am a lamp, and asking me not to wear a lampshade isn’t respecting my culture or my religion or my gender (all of which are lamp).”

7.      Anyone with a really long list of clashing/opposing identities, genders, and disorders in their description that make no sense when combined (or at all).

“Jenna / 18 / actualy divine / demon-kin / TV-kin / fundamentalist Christian / nonbinary genderfluid truscum / tucute / radfem / semi-autistic / demi-allistic / hella sexually attracted to guys / asexual / demisexual / autochorissexual / allosexual / self-diagnosed with a rare form of pancreatic cancer, a benign tumor that I cannot actually feel or see, and .”

8.      Anyone who constantly takes the language of “triggers” out of the context of trauma and other mental health issues.  


9.      Any blog that conflates being trans with being otherkin. Some otherkin are also trans, but no otherkin seriously assumes that all non-otherkin are cis.  

That should get you started.


pt. 1  |  pt. 2  |  pt. 3  |  pt. 4  |  pt. 5  |  pt. 6  |  pt. 7  |  pt. 8  |  pt. 9  |  pt. 10

Stiles makes it home.  Mostly.  He has his hand on the knob but then kind of just sinks down to his knees and starfishes face-down over the threshold, half in his apartment and half in the hall.  This feels like as good a place as any to live out the rest of his life, gets a nice draft and everything.

That’s how Scott and Lydia find him when Scott gets home twenty minutes later.

Scott crouches down next to his head and squawks out an alarmed: “Stiles, Jesus, what happened?”

Stiles turns his head so his cheek is pressed flat to the floorboard and he can see Scott’s concerned puppy expression under his fringe.  “I met him.”  It sounds like a death sentence the way he’s said it, all croaky and broken.  In a way, it kind of is so fair play to Stiles.  “I—We talked.  He asked me to come back tomorrow.”  He props himself up with his hands on the floor, halfway to standing but not that invested in it yet.

Scott frowns at him.  “Why do you look like the world just ended then?”  Stiles flops back down unhappily and Scott points a finger in his face.  Literally in his face, cheek depressed under Scott’s fingertip.  He pokes a few more times, says, “Because that all sounds like really good news.”

Stiles shifts his cheek away from Scott, which puts him squashed-nose-down against their floor again.  He blinks into the darkness from his own shadow.  “I’m in love with him,” he mumbles to himself, groans.  “This is so stupid, I know, Lydia, shut up” he points at where she was standing against the doorframe before he returned to his friend the floor and stabs at her with his finger, “—preemptively shut up—but he actually is it.  He’s my person.”  Stiles rolls over like a depressed seal, sits up and digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, making starbursts and orange blobs bloom behind the lids.  “I’m… finished.  I just knew it.  He was sitting there, being all—” Stiles lowers his hands, blinks plaintively up at Scott and Lydia, “you know, with the face and the surliness and I thought, I thought, yeah, this face, this surliness, that’s my new forever.”  He drops back down, floor and spine smushed together again.  “Only it isn’t and I am massively, irreparably fucked because he has a girlfriend.  And even if he wasn’t unobtainable, he’s still unobtainable.  In an ‘I have to invent new words because there aren’t ones that so much as touch him’ kind of way.”

Lydia taps the toe of her high heel into his chest and tells him thoughtfully, “You’re depressing, you know that?”  She carefully sips from the same latte cup she had earlier, purses her lips.  “Also, did you say tomorrow?  Your computer science midterm is tomorrow.”

Stiles pops upright, eyes wide. Nooooo.  That can’t—it isn’t—goddamn it!   “Oh shit.  Shit.  Fuck.  Shit.  I can’t meet him tomorrow.”  His midterm’s not until late evening but he hasn’t even started the studying process yet.  Which consists of downing a bunch of his Adderall pills, holing up in the library, jamming all related information that’ll stick into the folds of his brain where it’ll later leak out to be replaced by song lyrics and Friends quotes, sobbing - bitterly, going to the corner gas station for 5am Red Bulls, an hour or so of unscheduled and repeated cat naps while he slaps himself in the face to try to spark consciousness, drooling, desperate crying, panicked reading and, finally, acceptance that he will not pass.  Until he miraculously does (about an 87% success rate on that).

There was no room for Derek in that.  Derek eclipses everything, even the Friends quotes.  Stiles can’t see him and retain anything to do with computers on the same day.

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