this kettle is taking ages

hey!! more root pack headcanons

again, these are human hcs, and they’re husbands in this

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Psy’s real name is Patrick, Moe is Moe’s real name, and Weepy’s real name is Wesley

They kinda faked being married for a while (just made some rings and said they were married) but they finally got enough money to buy semi-decent rings and just got a marriage license and had a civil marriage when they found out they could do that, so when they officially got married, they took Moe’s last name (Still Tato)

When Psy gets nervous, he tries to crack his knuckles, neck, and back, even if nothing cracks, he still does it. Moe and Weepy stop him by hugging him and never letting go

Psy can hypnotize people, and he mostly uses this for good, mainly telling Moe to sleep or eat

Weepy is really awkward with new people, and has social anxiety, so his husbands always stay with him in public and hold this hands, trying to make him feel better

Psy’s nicknames for Moe and Weepy is ‘darlings’, and he doesn’t use them as often as Moe does. Weepy doesn’t really use nicknames that often, but when he’s really happy he calls Psy and Moe 'dear’ and 'honey’ a lot. Moe’s nicknames are more playful than romantic, but they’re still cute, he calls Psy 'carrot-top’ and Weepy 'muffin’, and he uses them 99.9% of the time, the 0.01% being serious discussions or arguments

Weepy always wants to keep the animals they find, but Psy and Moe always tell him they can’t because it’s too much work for them

Weepy’s friends with Cagney, Ribby and Croaks, Hilda, and Goopy, even though Psy and Moe don’t like him that much

Moe’s friends with Cagney, Hilda, and Ribby and Croaks, Goopy is a bit too cheerful and confident in himself for Moe

Psy’s friends with Cagney, and Ribby and Croaks, Goopy is too annoying for Psy and Hilda is…eh, her and Psy have gotten in a bit of heat because Hilda wanted to mess with them by making it rain, effectively ruining their field. She’s apologized for it by making it sunnier so their crops grow, but Psy hasn’t gotten over it.

They rarely argue, but when they do, it’s Moe and Psy yelling at each other about something and Weepy kinda avoiding it by leaving the room, or sometimes even leaving the house

On the off chance Weepy leaves the house because his husbands are arguing, he goes to Cagney. Cagney’s in a relationship, so he can give okay-ish advice to Weepy, and he always lends an ear and a shoulder when Weepy visits

Weepy doesn’t argue with his husbands, he’s too scared of them separating because he’s seen many adults in his life fight and then getting divorced/breaking up

They sold their souls to the Devil because they wanted the the perfect crops, Weepy was the most reluctant to do it, but Moe and Psy were sure that they needed this

Weepy loves winter, but not being in the cold, he likes being inside, wrapped in a blanket, drinking hot chocolate by the fire

Moe enjoys fall more, because it’s colder, bugs start dying, and it’s the season where halloween and thanksgiving takes place

Psy loves spring, it’s when flowers start blooming and everything looks brighter and it’s warm, not scorching hot like in summer

They hate summer, especially when they have to work in summer, because they feel like they’re in hell and they’re all sweaty and in the night it’s way too hot to sleep and Moe can’t go outside at night for one second without getting attacked by mosquitos

In summer, Moe always sleeps on the couch because it’s too hot, Weepy and Psy sleep as far away from each other as they can without falling off the bed

They enjoy the Cup brother’s company, they give them farming and gardening tips/advice (which only Mug listens to), and Moe tells them terrible puns which Psy hates with a burning passion, it makes them laugh.

Whenever Elder Kettle needs a babysitter, they’re the first he goes to

Sometimes Cup and Mug help around, doing the chores they can’t do at the moment

Moe always gives huge hugs to the cup brothers, lifting them up and swinging them around. He can still carry both of them with one arm to this day

They have so much respect for Elder Kettle, he’s taking care of two little monsters at his age, and he’s working a lot to take care of them. Every once in a while, Cup and Mug talk about their Grandpa and they always talk about how cool he is

The first time they met the Cup brothers (when they were about 5-6 years old), Cup, with stars in his eyes, asked them if he could get married like them. Psy laughed, Weepy “aww”-ed at did that little smile-frown people do when they look at something cute, and Moe wrapped his arms around his husbands and said “Yes, yes you can.”