this joke is old but whatevs

Online Safety 101:

> before u agree to see a naked girl on a camsharing site, ask her what her favorite pokemon is. If she keeps doin a sales pitch shes a bot, the site wants ur credit card

> any site thats supposedly free as dirt but wants ur card number anyways is fucking lying m8. Theyre gonna take the money and run.

> that random fuckin chick who wants to give u a business deal if u just follow the link she just sent is a fuckin liar, block her

> in general, any randomass person who wants u to do a thing after u click a link is probably tryinga pull a scam. Why tf do they keep doing this when will they learn

> if ur seein a website thats sellin posters and pillows and mugs of EVERYONES artwork, even the crayon doodles of a fuckin nobody from deviantart, that site’s lying. Its a honeypot they want to get ur personal info when u file a dmca claim

> if u see a blog with a weirdass name do some Sexual Robot shit on a random ass post fuckin block it before it snatches ur selfies to peddle its scam

> but before u do that check the blog to see if it has some other schmuck’s selfie and then report that shit to tumblr asap. Also find the original user if u can reverse image search successfully, and give them a follow cuz they’ll need it.

> become deeply familiarized with the rhetoric and terminology used by mras, nazis, other assorted white nationalists, terfs, and 4channers, so when the discourse hits, you’re gonna know exactly what’s up, and u wont fall for some cheap bait like “my gender is attack helicopter stop triggering me u genderist” or fuckin whatever they pretend sjws say these days.

> if a stupid goddamn troll wont leave u the fuck alone, start with rickrolls and BOFA jokes, and if that doesn’t work, start quoting old fuckin youtubes like charlie the unicorn, and if the troll STILL wont block your ass start Literally Copy-Pasting The Last Sentence They Sent U until they’re annoyed and give up. Congrats u just beat a troll. Now report them to tumblr.

> if u start getting weird hyperlinks under every other word in ur webbrowser and when u mouse over it some random shit tangentially related to the word pops up? That shits a terrible goddamn annoying ass virus and ya gonna have to purge it from ur computer manually by runnin into the registry and the hidden files and deleting everything even remotely related to it. It doesn’t take ur info or anything its just annoying as fuck and is a goddamn cockroach

So one of the things I love about watching Star Wars: A New Hope after having watched all the other Star Wars movies is how… well… how normal Luke’s upbringing appears to have been.

It’s not just that he was loved. It’s clear that Breha and Bail Organa loved Leia immensely. But she was a princess functionally from birth, and then became a senator at–what? eighteen, nineteen, twenty? Something like that. She was much loved and much trusted, obviously, but her upbringing must have been… “unusual” would be putting it mildly. As a teenager she was learning statecraft and politics–and deception.

And their mother must have been the same way, queen from such a young age, raised and trained to rule. And their father–loved, yes, deeply, and I have no doubt that his mother did her best to protect Anakin from the worst parts of slavery–but he was still a slave, as was she, and there was only so much they could do.

But Luke! Luke got the gift of a perfectly normal childhood. All the jokes about Luke, the whining about wanting to go to TOSCHE station to pick up some POWER CONVERTERS–the snippy teenagery conversation he has with his uncle about waiting “a whole nother year????”–the shooting womp rats in his T-16 back home–the fact that left to his own devices, at the same age that Leia is deciding THE FATE OF HER PLANET, he’s still playing with model spaceships…..

…they’re all signs that he had a normal childhood. That he’s a normal eighteen, nineteen, twenty, whatever year old. 

I mean, he grew up in a situation where it was completely safe for him to whine to his parent figures. He knew that Lars and Beru wouldn’t make him pay for his “but I wanted to go to TOSCHE STATION” or for his “I want to go to the academy THIS year” or whatever. Unlike basically every other Skywalker ever he grew up without a ton of extra pressure, without a “oh by the way you’re going to be king of [planet]” stuff, without “also you’re the Destined Future of the Jedi.” They didn’t raise a legacy, or a scion–they just raised a child. (In point of fact, that’s why Yoda almost rejects him: he’s too old, and he was raised too normal.)  And since Owen and Beru obviously knew perfectly well who and what he was, that’s actually an astonishing accomplishment. They were delivered an infant who they knew had the approximate destructive power of a nuclear device, and they still raised him as… a kid, a child, a boy who they loved with the same mixture of exasperation and devotion as any parent-figures.

He grew up as a kid, with a gruff but loving uncle and a sweet-tempered aunt, he grew up skeet-shooting womp rats and hanging out with his friends in Anchorhead when he had an excuse to go into town–and it’s clear how safe he feels with them because he does whine and moan and have fits without any apparent worry that he’s going to pay for it later. He whines and moans in the way I did at that age: in perfect confidence that while my parents might temporarily snap at me, they would never hurt me, and they would always love me. And that all they really wanted for me was to grow up safe and happy.

tl;dr: Luke Skywalker: the last of the Jedi(?) but also maybe the first of the Jedi to grow up in a normally functional childhood.

(I also really, really want to see the story in which he grieves his aunt and uncle for more than ten seconds. Perhaps I will write it.)

Bob Harper had a heart attack.  Now leave fat people alone.

Bob Harper, a former trainer on the Biggest Loser, has been one of the fittest men on television for over a decade.  He had a massive heart attack a couple of weeks ago and was hospitalized for eight days.

Bob Harper – a fitness guru who’s the host of “The Biggest Loser” – suffered a heart attack that left him unconscious for 2 days.

Harper tells us he was working out in a NYC gym 2 weeks ago when he collapsed. A doctor who was also working out administered CPR and used paddles to keep Bob alive.

The 51-year-old was taken to the hospital and says he woke up 2 days later. He was hospitalized for 8 days and is still in NYC – he lives in L.A. – because his doctors have not cleared him to fly.

(cont. TMZ)

Heart disease and heart attacks run in Bob Harper’s family and he says it’s all genetics.  I’m sure he’s absolutely right, but why are we okay agreeing with a fit man who says his heart attack was genetics while we view fat people who say “it’s genetics” with such disdain?

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my problem with the whole ‘mogai hell’ thing is the faux-caring attitude people employ when they talk about it. like they’ll talk about how the 'mogai community’ is damaging to questioning gay people, or lesbians, or bi people, because it might convince them they’re, like, 'abroromantic sapphoaesthetic womasexual’ instead of just being a lesbian.

so they’re worried that mogai might cause young lgb people to have internalized homophobia. ok. but then, how do they approach these young people who are identifying as whatever identity they’ve determined is 'mogai hell’ today? do they show these young people understanding or compassion?

no. they screenshot their blogs to make fun of them, they participate in 'cringe culture’, they make troll blogs where they jokingly adopt these 'mogai hell’ identities, and they make frequent mean-spirited jokes about 'cringey’ 14 year olds calling themselves autochorissexual. so they clearly don’t actually care about young people with internalized homophobia, or they wouldn’t be loudly mocking them like this. they just want to bully people. it’s concern trolling at its finest, and it’s pretty transparent.

Tipsy - Request

Requested by anon: I would like to request a Sherlock x reader where he has been drugged and how he’s really cute and a little dirty towards her in front of John. Haha like while “high”. Just super fluffy and cute and maybe a little smutty/implied smut/ a little dirty haha. I get if you’re too busy or don’t feel like writing it, no problem. Love you.
& anon: I have a request for you (if youre still taking..?) so sherlock and john gets drunk and sherlock starts hitting on (and gets kissy and touchy) on reader which has been her girlfriend for months xD ?

Pairing: Sherlock x reader.

Word count: 2,026

Warnings: Just like in “The sign of three” this things gives a lot of twists.

A/N: Drunk Sherlock and Watson are my fave, I loved this so much!

Enjoy!

Sherlock and John weren’t the kind of men to get drunk every week, however and because of the stress they had been put through in their last case, they decided to go to the bar together.

At first it was just beer and talking and complaining, but then, someone recognized Sherlock and decided to put a little something on his beer which, added up to what he had already drunk, ended up turning him into a dizzy, slurry mess.

John was drunk as well, but for a different reason: he had mixed tequila with beer.

They walked – stumbled – their way back to Baker Street. It wasn’t even ten o’clock when that happened, so both (Y/N) and Mrs. Hudson were up and sharing a cup of tea while the boys came back, doing all kinds of strange noises as they walked in that called both women’s attention.

“What are you two doing here?” Mrs. Hudson asked as she and (Y/N) walked out to the stair case where John and Sherlock were laying. (Y/N) couldn’t help but to laugh at the image and the sound of her laughter caught Sherlock’s attention.

“(Y/N)!” He cheered drunkenly, “AREN’T YOU THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BEING ON EARTH?”

“Wow, someone’s loud tonight.” She joked and Sherlock walked to her and held her tightly against his chest.

“You are sooooo beautiful!” He slurred, “And so hot, would you be my girlfriend?”

“I am already your girlfriend, Sherlock.” (Y/N) spoke clamly, unable to contain the giggle that left her lips.

“I’m such a lucky man I’m jealous of myself …” Sherlock cupped her face and started kissing her passionately, like never before. (Y/N) tried to pull away but Sherlock’s grip was tight and it wasn’t until he needed air that he let go off her.

“You’re so drunk!” She giggled.

“And you’re stunning.” Sherlock mumbled, “Delightful, splendid, a Greek muse right in front of me! DATING ME!”

“Sherlock Holmes is a poet when he’s drunk, what are the chances!” Watson spoke from behind, right before he bursted in a dry laughter. Mrs. Hudson laughed with him and then both women dragged them upstairs.

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anonymous asked:

okay so i know you already dislike sharon needles, but i have seen people bringing her up and i wanted to just ask you if you could post about some bad stuff shes done, so i have a reference, thank you so much!!!

firstly, here sharon is black facing:

next we have sharon sporting the confederate flag and a swastika shirt:

she has also said the N-word on stage countless times and wrote the N-word when signing a fans poster:

sharons tried to defend himself using the N word and literally said this, and this is a direct fucking quote no joke:

The other night me and a couple of my friends went out to have a good time, and there’s this young thing. I call her a “thing” because, you know, I don’t know how to tip-toe around gender rules or queer politics. I’m 30 years old, rich, and famous; I don’t have to deal with that shit anymore, you know what I mean? So we’ll just call them “him”/“her”/“thing,” whatever. And you know she really finds my shows offensive. … So anyway she got upset that I paint myself brown, that I would use language that she found offensive. … She made me an unnecessary poster child for post-racial change.“

here is my source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-thomas/sharon-needles-racist-aft_b_1473057.html?ir=Australia

also Aaron, (sharon) a cis man dressed up as caitlyn jenner. which is a form of mocking trans womens bodies. because if a man dresses up as a trans woman it encourages the idea that trans women are just “men dressing up as women” which they AREN’T. trans women ARE women:

stories from fans who’ve had bad encounters with sharon that i found on reddit:

story 1

story 2

hope this is a good reference for you!

Some angst because, why not

Daisuga: Whatever you do don’t think about Daichi standing at the end of an alter right beside suga as his best man. As he watches suga get married off to a cute woman, Daichi slowly dies in the inside.

Asanoya:Don’t think of how Noya runs into Asahi at the shops long after graduation and they rekindle their old relationship and Noya thinks he’s got a chance until Asahi invites him to dinner with his son and wife.

Tsukkiyama:Don’t imagine Tsukkishima and Yamaguchi getting together during school but drifting apart when college hits. Their feelings never change but when Tsukki goes to visit it Yamaguchi he is struck with the news that his best friend took his own life, self doubt consuming his soul.

Kagehina:Don’t think of how as the two grew closer together Hinata grew closer to Kageyama’s younger sister and eventually marries her and Kageyama thinks he’s fine being friends but the guilt eventually gets to him and soon kags joins Yamaguchi.

Ennotanna:Don’t begin the thought of Ennoshita crushing on Tanaka in high school but knowing that tanaka is so out of reach that this angst propells him to direct award Winning movies fueled by tradegy. And no matter how many awards he wins it never fills the Tanaka shaped hole in his heart.

Kinonari:Don’t ponder over the fact of Narita and Kinoshita who were so in love yet so over being forgotten, invisible to those around them. This makes them quit volleyball and run away never to be known the whereabouts of untill the team gets a message, they’re the first to go.

Iwaoi: Don’t think of these two sharing a kiss before separating to different colleges and doing their best to stay in touch but instead slowly their calls and text become less frequent and ‘Iwa-Chan❤’ is all but a mere contact that lays on the bottom of Oikawas call history.

Kuroken: Don’t begin thinking of Kenma and Kuroo pining after each other for years but an argument about something causes them to never speak again. This makes them go quiet for years leading Kenma to go into depression and when Kuroo gets the guts to speak to Kenma again he finds that his closest friend had dissapeared from the world never to be seen again.

Bokuaka: Don’t think of Bokuto going emo in college and Akaashi isn’t around to pick him up, not because Bokuto is in college and Akaashi is in high school, but because Akaashi and his family had moved all the way abroad. This causes Bokuto to slowly fall into insanity.

Matsuhana: No matter what don’t think of these two casually walking through the city laughing at jokes and old memories at night holding hands. When a drunken driver in a truck loses control heading straight towards the two. In the rush Makki pushes Mattsun away sacrificing himself. Leaving Mattsun alone.

Whatever you do, don’t imagine these guys losing their other halfs with my angsty headcanons but instead read fluffy fanfiction instead. (Why am I doing this)

When Genji first comes to Overwatch, he does not want to talk about what happened.  He wants to think about it as little as possible.  There is a very select group of people that are even vaguely aware of the events that lead to Genji’s recruitment, and possibly only Angela knows anything close to the full story.

Everyone, however, knows that Genji would have died if he hadn’t been picked up by Overwatch and made into the cyborg that now walks among them.

So, naturally, everyone is a curious motherfucker who feels the need to poke their nose into everyone else’s business.

The first couple times people try to ask him “what happened” Genji either stubbornly ignores them or flat out tells them “I don’t want to talk about it”.  But after a couple months when it keeps happening he just… starts making up stories.  Stupid, over-the-top, straight-up ridiculous stories that no one would ever believe.  He tells people he had tried jumping out of a plane with a parachute made of hundreds of flying squirrels tethered together.  He tells them he been dared to drink a cup of molten steel and it hadn’t agreed with his digestion.  He tells them he’d made a deal with the devil and had fallen back on his loan payments.  At first it’s out of exasperation, with the hope that people will finally take the hint.  People don’t take a hint though, mostly because they think it’s hilarious.  Over time, Genji agrees.

Years to come, whenever he meets someone new who tentatively works up the courage to ask “so… what happened?” while gesturing to his cyborg body, Genji will, without fail, tell the biggest, most ridiculous whopper of a lie he can think of (and all his teammates will be sniggering the the background at the new guy’s poor, confused face).

Time passes, Overwatch falls, Genji leaves, winds up in Nepal, and for the first time in years he tells someone – Zenyatta – what actually happened (after spending the first few weeks lying through his teeth about it).  Then Recall happens, and with Genji comes Hanzo into Overwatch’s fold.

It’s not an easy thing to talk to strangers about, but Hanzo figures it’s better to be up front about things and he admits that, yes, he had tried to murder his brother to appease the elders of the crime syndicate family.

Ho ho ho, says the rest of the squad, pull the other one it’s got bells on.

And Hanzo just???? doesn’t get it????

They’re supposed to be old friends of Genji?  He’s very blatantly and honestly tells them I nearly murdered him, it’s my fault he is how he is now but whoever he’s talking to just laughs.  Laughs!  “Yeah, sure mate, whatever you say, I’ll bet, haven’t heard that one before.”

Literally everyone just assumes Hanzo’s in on the joke and is playing along with Genji’s tall tales.  Angela just listens with a sort of abject horror, Zenyatta’s amused, and Genji doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry because the slack-jawed expression Hanzo made the first time McCree laughed in his face after being told “I killed Genji” was priceless.

Hm.

A Shawn Mendes oneshot.

A/N: hi this is cute and I’m dedicating it to my bb @illumninate cause she’s sad and I don’t want her to be!! She deserves sunshine and happiness!! Jealous shawn is the sexiest shawn xoxo


“I was a really dorky kid.”

Shawn and I were laying naked on the hotel bed somewhere in Europe. It was well past midnight, but neither of us knew exactly how late it was, and nor did we care. We were talking about our childhoods in the dim light from the city that poured in through the window, and he was telling me about the extent of his Harry Potter obsession. 

“You still are a dorky kid,” I reminded him. Shawn made a noise of protest and strung his arm out across my face as a form of chastising me. I giggled and pushed it off, intertwining his hand with mine and kissing it lightly. We looked at each other as he tried to fake unimpressed, though his grin was deceiving him. “I’m kidding baby, don’t worry. I bet you impressed all the girls with your extensive Harry Potter knowledge,” I assured him. Shawn shook his head at me, grinning still and giving a small squeeze to my bare sides that made me squirm and laugh. With his hands still on my sides, he brought me towards him, nuzzling his head into my neck. His hair was still a little sweaty from the sex we’d just had, and the silky locks tickled my jaw. 

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9

I haven’t seen anyone on tumblr put up the wanted images/posters yet so here they are!

Note about Futaba’s: Hers says Navi for that is her codename in the JP release of the game. I’m pretty sure that the eng release of the game just uses her poster as is so I put together a version with her eng codename here! Hope I did ok putting it together for I am not a professional lol. Feel free to use that and the ones above as you like! Enjoy!

I do take image upload requests!

BTS Single Parent AU

kookies-and-myrok asked: Hello, sweets! I love your writing and I’m not just saying that Lol i always get excited when you post smt, anyways do you write parent au’s? If you do can I get a BTS reaction about what they would be like as a single parent? If not then its okay! Keep up the great work 💜

This doesn’t necessarily work as a reaction, but I can do a little like… bullet drabble or whatever on this. Either way, very doable. - Admin Dayna


Seokjin

There’s like… this anime called Amaama to Inazuma (a.k.a. Sweetness and Lightning) which is basically about a single father who raises his daughter to the best of his abilities but he can’t cook as well as his wife (who passed away). I see Single Parent!Jin being like that… except in Jin’s case he can actually throw down in a kitchen

  • Lots of love and affection
  • Smothers his baby girl with kisses before dropping her off to daycare and after picking her up
  • The daycare moms thirst after him bOI
  • His cookies sold out the fastest at the school bakery
  • Partially because Daycare Moms are trying to give him the succ
  • Mainly because his cookies are bomb asf
  • He got hoes
  • Reads/sings his daughter to sleep at night religiously
  • Chocolate covered Strawberries while they watch cartoons together
  • Shed a single tear in the beginning of Finding Nemo evRYTIM
  • Was literally floating on air for like a month because his daughter told him he was the “handsomest appa”
  • Tries really hard to scold his baby girl
  • Can’t look her in the face when he does it because she’s too damn cute
  • Puppy Dog Eyes work every once in a while tbh
  • Will cAUSE A FUCKING SCENE IF HE EVER HEARD SOMEONE WAS BULLYING HIS CHILD
  • Dad jokes, fucking duh.

Originally posted by meganhyunhee

Yoongi

Picture this: Yoongi is chilling, right? Lounging on the sofa, watching some psychological mystery film or whatever emo shit he watches. His face is pretty indifferent. He’s unbothered asf. His right arm is covered in scribbles and squiggles. His 7 year old son is currently surrounded by markers, casually doodling on his dad’s arm.

  • Lets his son choose whatever toys he wants
  • If his baby boy wants a nerf gun, he’ll get a nerf gun.
  • If his baby boy wants a fucking bubblegum pink barbie jeep atv, he’s getting a fucking bubblegum pink barbie jeep atv.
  • Also lets his kid wear whatever he wants
  • Supports the creative and imaginative endeavors of his child
  • Does not support coloRING ON THE WALL YOU LIL DEMON BABY
  • Sometimes stares at his child and thinks “whose mans is this?”
  • Also looks at his child and thinks “that’s the love of my life”.
  • One time considered redecorating his closet just so that he can hang a bunch of mirrors on the wall so that whenever his child does something stupid, he can sit him in that closet and close the door so that he can look at his reflection and reevaluate his 7 years long life.
  • All in all he’s a super supportive daddio.
  • He’s not like the other dads.
  • He’s a Cool Dad™

Originally posted by exoticmaknae

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anonymous asked:

Jimin~53

Prompt request: “Sit on my lap.”

Member: Jimin

Genre: Fluff

Summary: School’s out for the summer and you and your friends are headed to the beach! Unfortunately, there are no seats left on the bus for you. Luckily, your best friend Jimin lends you his lap for the ride.

Word count: 750


Your flip flops threatened to slip off as you sprinted towards the bus, each sandal slapping loudly against the pavement. Your friends were meters ahead of you, and the beach equipment you were carrying slowed you down.

The bus driver must have been feeling merciful, because the bus paused long enough for your friends to board it. Just before you reached the doors, your best friend, Jimin, poked his head out.

“Hurry up, Y/N,” he teased, pushing back his floppy, orange bangs back. “I can’t stall the bus forever.”

You dragged yourself onto the bus, depositing all the equipment in Jimin’s arms. “Well, if someone hadn’t refused to help me carry everything, maybe I could’ve run faster,” you snapped, dropping a ticket into the fare box.

A little annoyed, you brushed past Jimin towards your other friends.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jimin pouted, grabbing your arm to stop you from walking away from him. He was balancing all the beach gear in his other arm. “Don’t be mad. I’m just joking. I’ll carry everything today, so don’t worry.”

Jimin gave you a huge smile, his eyes turning into little crescents. As always, Jimin’s happiness was infectious and you had to smile back.

“Whatever, Chim,” you laughed, starting to walk further back into the bus with Jimin. Your friends had all found seats in the crowded bus.

The old busses didn’t have air conditioning, and being in such close proximity to the other passengers was uncomfortably sticky. Jimin spotted your friends, Jackson, Mark, and Wendy, tucked away in a corner of the bus.

Jimin unceremoniously dumped all of the equipment onto Jackson’s lap and slipped into the empty seat beside him. You looked at the seats behind Jackson and Jimin. Mark and Wendy sat together, leaving no extra space your you.

Sighing, you resigned yourself to holding onto the railing for the hour-long bus ride to the beaches. Rocking back and forth on your heels, you cursed at yourself for wearing your stiff flip flops instead of your foam ones.

Jimin caught a glimpse of you shifting uncomfortably. “Oh, Y/N,” he exclaimed, “are you uncomfortable?”

“Yeah, just a bit,” you sighed. “Don’t worry about it, though.”

“No, no, you should sit,” Jimin insisted. You shook your head slowly, noticing that Jimin was making no attempt to move. You titled your head quizzically at him, and he smirked. “Sit on my lap.”

“Excuse me!?” you spluttered, a fiery red blush blooming across your cheeks.

“Why are you so embarrassed?” Jimin laughed heartily. “What are friends for, right?”

“I don’t know…”

Jimin tsk-ed his tongue at you, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you down on top of him. You landed heavily on Jimin’s muscular thighs, which you could feel shifting underneath you to accommodate your weight.

You settled back against Jimin’s chest, despite your initial discomfort. You had been friends with Jimin for so long that this amount of skinship didn’t bother you. In fact, falling into Jimin’s arms was as familiar as coming home–to you, he embodied everything warm and comforting in your life.

Jimin wrapped his arms around your waist, turning to talk to Jackson. Soon enough, everything became background noise and you felt yourself falling asleep. Tucking your face into Jimin’s neck, you inhaled deeply. The last thing you remembered before falling asleep was the vibration of Jimin’s quiet laughter rocking you gently into unconsciousness.


After you returned home from an entire day spent at the beach–you had a light sunburn on your cheeks to show for it–you were bombarded by notifications on your phone. You expanded your notification bar to see dozens of comments that you were tagged in.

Curious, you unlocked your phone and were guided to Instagram. Your jaw dropped in response to the image you were met by.

Jimin had posted a selfie he had taken on the bus. His orange hair was pushed up, secured by a pair of black sunglasses. He had a slight smile on his face, and his eyes were sharp.

What bothered you wasn’t Jimin.

It was the fact he had captured you in the picture, too. Your head was tucked underneath Jimin’s chin, your mouth agape and slightly drooling.

You tried to ignore the comments that were currently flooding in, all of which contained a variation of, “Oh my God! Are you guys finally dating?”

And of course, Jimin just had to caption the picture with: “Back off boys, this one’s mine.”

- Girl in Luv

Send more requests our way! Check out our prompts post if you’re looking for some inspiration xx

anonymous asked:

There is already that great Asylum AU you wrote for, how about we add Nogla and Lui to the mix?!

Of course! Here you go, the long awaited part 2 that’s kinda long. I hope you enjoy it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The three doctors met up once again that their usual spot. “So, Evan, how was your one day off?” Tyler asked.

“Pretty good, actually. I didn’t have to deal with your asses,” Evan chuckled. Bryce put his hand to his heart.

“Rude.” They all started laughing after that.

“Anyways, do you know how Delirious was?”

“I heard that he didn’t cooperate with your replacement really well. I don’t think he tried to hurt him, but he didn’t tell him anything,” Bryce said, pulling out a piece of gum and starting to chew on it.

“Seriously?” Bryce nodded, causing Evan to sigh.

“It’s a good thing that I’m back then.”

“Um, excuse me? Am I at the right place?” A thick foreign accent from behind them spoke. They all turned around to see a man with messy Brian hair and glasses standing over them. Well, standing over everyone except Tyler.

Bryce’s face lit up suddenly and he put out his hand. “Oh, you must me the new guy, Daithi de Nogla, right? I’m Bryce.” Daithi smiled and shook his hand.

“Thank god I found d the right place, I got lost like, three times already.”

“It always happens on everyone’s first day,” Evan spoke up. “I’m Evan, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“Sup bitch, I’m Tyler.” Bryce lightly smacked Tyler’s arm.

“Tyler! Don’t be rude!”

“I’m not being rude!”

“He’s really not; that’s just how he greets the newbies. He greeted you like that.”

“Still!”

Nogla had started to laugh, which caused them to stop arguing. “Nah man, it’s okay. It’s nice to meet you all. But uh, can we go in, or…?”

“Oh! Yeah, you can go in. We just wait out here for a bit before we go in. Good luck!” Nogla nodded before smiling and waving at them before going in.

“Well he seems nice,” Evan chirped.

“Yeah. Hopefully he doesn’t get one of the bad ones,” Tyler sighed. They all nodded in agreement before going inside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tyler walked into his patients room unwillingly. He honestly was just not in the mood that day. “Good morning Mini. How’d you sleep?”

When he didn’t get a response, Tyler looked around the room. Mini was sitting in the corner, facing the wall. “Mini?”

“Mini isn’t here today. Come back tomorrow, maybe he’ll answer.”

Great. Now Tyler had to deal with Pablo.

“Oh, Pablo, good to see you again. How’ve you been?” ‘Pablo’ turned around with a smirk on his face as he stretched and yawned.

“Tired. Mini wouldn’t let me out last time, y'know. Said it was because of you. Mind telling me what that’s all about?”

“I’ve told you once and I’ll tell you again: You’re corrupting his head. He’s already more like you than he was, and we can’t do anything about it. Why don’t you just bring Mini back so we can talk.”

“Hmm, let me think… No. I’ve been gone for way to long. Won’t you let me be out, just for a little bit?” Tyler’s jaw clenched. He hated being tested like this.

“Alright, alright, fine. But promise me this: you’ll start taking the medicine that you hate again.”

Pablo’s grin faded. “You wouldn’t do that,” he whispered.

“Oh I think I would. In fact, I’ll go do it right now-”

“No! No, no. I’ll bring Mini back. Just, don’t make me take that awful shit again.” Tyler crossed his arms and lifted an eyebrow, waiting. Pablo sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I really hate you, you know that?”

“Feeling’s mutual.”

Tyler watched as Pablo’s eyes fluttered shut, falling onto his side as well. Tyler knew that Mini wouldn’t be up for a while, so he just picked Mini up and put him on the bed before leaving.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Evan walked quicker than he normally did to his patients room. He quickly entered the door and shut it behind him.

“You seem hurried. Excited to get me out of here?” Delirious asked with hopefulness in his voice. Evan straightened himself up and sighed.

“I heard you didn’t cooperate with the replacement yesterday,” Evan said, his eyes flickering to the paper in his hands before going back to Delirious.

“And why would I?”

Evan sighed and started writing down on the clipboard.

“When you’re the only one I want~”

Evan froze and nearly choked on his own spit. He felt a blush creep up on his cheeks as he looked up. Delirious had a smirk plastered on his face.

“Shut up,” Evan mumbled, causing Delirious to laugh. Evan quickly finished his writing and left the room, not wanting to feel Delirious’ smirk any longer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bryce hummed as he waited for the files to be printed out. He already had checked up on Ohm, and to say the least, nothing had changed.

The last copy was almost done when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist and he felt someone’s breath on the back of his neck.

“Hello, Brycey-poo~”

Bryce gasped in shock and dropped all of the papers in his hands. He glanced around frantically, only to see no one else in sight.

“O-Ohm, how d-did you-”

“It took a lot of skill, trust me.” Ohm laughed and pulled back before turning Bryce around and trapping him once more. “But I think it’s worth it~”

Bryce stared at Ohm, terror settling in more and more. “Don’t be scared, Brycey. It’s only me. I’m not gonna hurt you,” he lifted Bryce’s chin up with his finger. “You’re too pretty for me to want to do that.”

Bryce’s heart pounded in his chest as sweat rolled down his face. He swallowed and tried to look anywhere but Ohm’s eyes. It was extremely hard to for some reason, and he kept finding himself looking into those brown eyes that screamed insane.

Ohm was suddenly pulled back, and someone pulled Bryce to the side. Bryce was snapped back into reality as he looked over to see Evan holding onto his arm and calling security.

When he looked back to where Ohm was, he found Tyler holding him up against the wall. Bryce’s blue eyes met Ohm’s brown ones. Ohm grinned at him, seemingly not caring about the current situation. Security soon came and got Ohm, leaving the three doctors to themselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daithi awkwardly stood in the break room, wondering where he was going to sit. He saw the top of Tyler’s head and decided to go sit with them, since they were the only people he knew.

When he got there, Bryce had his head in his arms while Evan patted his back. “Hey guys! What’s up with Bryce?” He asked, sitting down.

“Bryce’s patient, Ohm, somehow got out of his cell to go and ‘visit’ Bryce,” Tyler explained.

“I don’t even know how he did it! Or how he wasn’t caught!” Bryce groaned, finally lifting his head up from the table. Nogla’s eyes were wide.

“Seriously? Oh man, that’s gotta be terrifying.”

“Eh, not really. It happens all the time,” Tyler yawned, taking a bite out of his sandwich. Nogla’s eyes widened even more. Evan shot Tyler a glare before rolling his eyes.

“No, it doesn’t Tyler, stop scaring the newbie. It happens like, once every couple of months. This is just the first time it’s happened to Bryce. Though, he has only been here for 2 years now.” Nogla relaxed after that.

“So how’d your first day go?” Bryce asked.

“Oh, uh, I have a patient named Lui Calibre. He’s got multiple personalities- well, personality, I should say.”

Tyler’s eyes lit up a bit when he said that. “Your patient had multiple personalities too?” Nogla nodded.

“Yeah, the other personality is a five-year-old which I’ve decided to name Squeaker.”

“Why squeaker?” Evan asked, chuckling a bit at the name.

“Cause that’s what he sounds like! Plus, I had accidentally called him that, and he seemed to like it, so I stuck with it.”

“Man, you’re lucky. Mine’s got the personality of a creepy Mexican guy named Pablo. You should be grateful you got a good one,” Tyer said.

“I mean, Lui is a bit of a smart mouth, but squeaker seems to like me a lot, so I guess you’re right. I’m still not sure why it’s a five year old, but, y'know.”

“Well, you see here, they can’t choose their other personality. It was one that started to form into their head. With most personalities, it’s something that the person started to do as a way to protect themselves, and it eventually became it’s own thing. Lui probably pretended to be a five-year-old so whoever or whatever was hurting him would stop, and it must’ve worked. It’s like Mini’s case, who’s my patient. He was bullied, and thought up of Pablo to help him. When Pablo finally came out, however, that’s when the problem started. But don’t ask me why it was a creepy Mexican guy.”

Everyone stared at Tyler, surprised by the sudden lecture.

“Damn Tyler, you sure you’re not some sort of psychiatrist or something?” Even joked. Tyler rolled his eyes at the comment before stealing one of Evan’s fries.

“Hell no! Me listen to people complaining about their problems all day? I’d probably shoot myself before I got finished with the first person.”

They all laughed and finished their lunch before going back to their jobs.

Holy freaking crap people.

Last post was a damn joke.

I have friends that have never played the game and know more about it than other people who have played it.

Christ.

Now I’m an elitist brat to some of you.

“Ew cameh pepol dunt plai succer but dey liek spurtz, how cud u”

At this point idk if you’re just looking for a reason to ruin whatever post I make because you still got a trunk up your butt over an old post of mine or just because you dislike me as a whole and look for a reason to ruin my day.

F**k. Guess I won’t make jokes anymore.

Gonna make this a family friendly blog.

Rebloging positiveness and sh**

Gotta start now.

HEY EVERYBODY MY NAME IS CAMI. I LOVE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE! I WOULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT ANYTHING

I ALSO DON’T LIKE JOKES OR SARCASM, SOME PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND IT EASILY AND IT WOULD BE SUPER SUPER SAD IF SOMEONE FEELS OFFENDED.

I WANT TO BE A PERFECT AND POSITIVE HUMAN BEING.

I’M VEGAN NOW TOO.

The Mitch Marner Retrospective

So, Mitch Marner. Mitch is the 2015 first round draft pick of the Toronto Maple Leafs, for those unaware. He plays for the London Knights in the OHL and came second in scoring last season, three points behind his bff Dylan Strome (but having played five fewer games!). But now I sound like Wikipedia, so LET’S GET TO THE GOOD STUFF.

I kind of want to pat 15-year-old Mitch on the head. He was so sweet?? I think I’m so charmed because he reminds me of the dudes I went to high school with.

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Iron Crown (III)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jinyoung

Rating: R

Warning: Domestic abuse

Word Count: 6,128

Summary: As the Crown Princess of Vitus, your land has always been peaceful. When your power-hungry Uncle decides to stop paying the tithe though, things take a turn for the worse. The vampires who reside in the mountains are not happy and in retaliation - they set their sights on you.

Originally posted by wangmins

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William Nylander #3

PART TWO

Anonymous: can you write another william nylander imagine?

A/N: So this has been in my drafts for a while, and just recently these past couple days I’ve got so much motivation to keep writing this little story. So it will have several parts, and I hope you all enjoy :)

Word Count: 2,963

Originally posted by leafbabies

“It’s not fair,” you heard a voice say, “are we just supposed to ignore the fact the owners daughter is smoking hot?” With that you stopped dead in your tracks, leaning against the wall just before the dressing rooms, and decided to listen in on whatever conversation you were the topic of. 

“She’s obviously off limits, Willy,” you could recognize Naz’s voice. 

Keep reading