this isnt even fair why am i not out there looking at these things

User guide to your INFJ

Your INFJ comes with: 

  • One (1) crystal ball 
  • One (1) social mirror
  • Five hundred (500) calendars 
  • Unlimited stock of fears and worries 

Features:  

Ni: This feature makes the INFJ able to think of any consequence of their action, making them seem psychic. Ni also leads to sudden realizations. 

Fe: This feature makes the othervwise socially awkward INFJ able to socialize by mimicing the features of their interlocutor. Fe does sometimes fail. When this happens make sure the INFJ doesnt start digging a hole for themself to live in.

Ti: This feature makes the INFJ able to overanalyse the crap out of people, pay too much attention to insignificant detail and read too much into said detail. 

Se: This feature is the INFJs appendix. You should might consider to have this feature removed, as it causes the INFJ to occasionally overeat, oversleep, binge drink etc. Call the service number for advice if this is wanted.

Care: 

Food:
The INFJ may forget to eat, and they may overeat. When your INFJ haven eaten in a long time, suggest that they should eat something. They will appreciate this and take it as a sign of care. However, do not speak about their overeating. EVER.

Sleep
Your INFJ will (usually) make sure to get enough sleep. The exception is if they are in a particularly stressful period. In such periods they might end up pulling all-nighters, or they might just sleep to avoid the stressful problem. 

Hygiene:
Your INFJ will have an ok hygiene. This is because of their fair of smelling or in other ways making themselves look bad to other people. With some INFJs this will comepletely change if they are alone for the day. They might forget that brushing their teeth is even a thing. 

Stress:
If the INFJ is put under too much pressure and get stressed, the INFJ might:
a) become emotionally cold, forget essential needs and become too focused on work.
b) overindulge in certain activities, like watching a lot of TV, overeating, binge drinking etc. 

Other needs:
Your INFJ will need hugs and words of affirmation. However, they will usually not initiate it or ask for it. As much as they hate to admit it, they also need advice sometimes. If your INFJ seems to be having troubles with opening up, you can always give them some alcohol. NB: your drunk INFJ may just end up handing you all the drinks. This is because they fear being the drunkest one at the party. 

Relationships with other units:

NTs: Your INFJ might feel intimidated by the xNTJs, but usually love the company of xNTPs. 

NFs: In interaction with other xNFJs, the INFJ and the other unit will usually just mirror each others behaviour, opinions and feelings. It usually works out fine. In company with certain NFPs the INFJ will sometimes feel scared to voice an opinon. With other NFPs this isnt an issue at all. 

SPs: The INFJ will usually get along ok with the SPs, but might get tired of their need for adrenaline, as this will tire out the INFJs Ni. 

SJs: Your INFJ will usually get along great with xSFJs. The xSTJs, like the xNTJs, might intimidate the INFJ. 

FAQ

There seems to be a problem with my INFJ’s speech, how can i fix this?
Theres nothing wrong with your INFJ. Not being able to speak properly is one of the INFJ’s “charming” characteristics. You can however give the INFJ something to write on, and they will comminicate like a poet. 

Why is my INFJ so emo? 
W
e are trying to fix this problem, but have not found a cause yet. When this is fixed, there will be a softwere update available. 

My INFJ is being really socially awkward and asking me weird and boring questions, what should i do?
Nothing. The INFJ will usually be very stressed out when talking to new people. This will get better as your INFJ feels more comfortable around you. 

My INFJ is just like me, does this mean i am an INFJ myself?
Nah bro, they want you to think you’re alike. 

Can my INFJ read minds?
What no ofc not huh hehehe ehm hehe….. 

My INFJ knows things about me haven’t told it. Has it developed AI?
We are aware of this feature in the INFJ, but can’t offer any answer to how they do it. 

My INFJ has been sitting in the corner of their room staring into the air for three days. What should i do?
In this situation you have a few possible solutions:
a) Let your INFJ sit there. They will get back to normal in not too long… (hopefully)
b) Give your INFJ chocolate and hugs .
c) introduce your INFJ to an ENTP. The INFJ will hopefully get so distracted from their thoughts that they forget all about them.
d) try turning your INFJ off and on again. 

am i the only one whos gotten over the fact that jonghyun and samuel didnt make it

its been three days and some of y'all need to chill.

like saying you’re not gonna stan wanna one just because your fave isnt in the final 11 is really immature. sure its not fair but the deed is done. the voting is over. yes, i too was angry when samuel and jonghyun didn’t make it, but the show has helped both of the two out greatly. nu'est’s fancafe has doubled in size from 25K to 50K, their albums ranked really high on MelOn Chart yesterday, and their youtube account recently gained a HUGE amount of subscribers.

and for samuel, a lot of people have realized what he can bring to the table talent wise. he’s improved a lot since the first episode. he’s even getting a debut pretty soon so calm down, he’s gonna be on the stage on day.

and saying that you won’t stan wanna one because your fave is in their is really immature (like I said before), everyone worked hard, those 11 deserve those spots. saying everyone on the lineup is talentless unlike samuel and jonghyun, is very rude. the vocalists in wanna one are very stable, the dancers are very talented, and the rappers can keep a good flow.

if samuel was mixed and that was the reason why knetz did not vote for him, then he would not have made it into the top 20. and it all depends on who catches your eye. at first i thought youngmin wasn’t that good of a rapper, but now he’s one of my favorites since the show ended. Korean fans and International fans have different tastes. when somi won season 1, International fans didn’t see what the hype was all about with somi. saying knetz are “blind to talent, or worship the hell out of white people” is prejudicing them. some knetz voted for samuel, and he made it to the top 20 because they liked either his charms, his talent, or his appearance (charms and looks are two different things).

getting mad about the fact that international fans didn’t get to vote is silly in my opinion. the voting system has always been “national producers”, meaning Korean fans can vote and that has been established since the first season, and international fans didn’t complain about that the first time. yes, they get a world tour, but you don’t even know the countries they’re going to. maybe it’s all going to be in Asia, who knows.

the lineup itself is really good in my opinion. i’m anticipating their debut album. and also that petition (it’s not written well in my opinion) thats going around with like 10K signatures needs to stop its cringy and don’t ever go that far ever again.

anonymous asked:

Porny prompt kinda: Hannibal is NOT into daddykink but Will is. Hannibal will put up with anything for Will. Hannibal has to research daddykink. Hannibal is a missionary vanilla kinda guy, he doesnt even really like binding your wrists in silk, he has no idea what Wills getting out of this but it isnt a turn OFF and he doesnt have to do it ALL the time. I like Hannibal to be long-suffering. tired Potato murder-dad is my kink

Hi! It’s hard for me to imagine Hannibal not into it, at least in the whys and hows of Will’s sexuality, especially from a performance sake. ;) But I gave it my best shot and this is first time writing this particular kink! Hope you like. 

xXx

The first time it happened was a mistake.

Hannibal was fucking him. Pounding him into their bed rough and hard– just the way Will needed – the way he begged for. He might’ve been crying. He tasted salt, his face was hot and sticky. His dick was trapped underneath him, rubbing against the mattress and he knew he could come like this, without even being touched.

Hannibal breathed warm against the nape of his neck.

“Will,” he said. “Will.”

“Please– fuck– daddy.”

The word slipped out before he could stop it. Hannibal paused, for a fraction of a second. Will tensed but then Hannibal’s hands were sliding over his belly, his scar. He pulled Will close, anchoring him to his own body.

There was no space between them, just an impossible fullness that felt like breaking. Hannibal fucked Will so deep, stars burst behind his eyelids. Will sobbed, choking the word out again and again as he came, “daddy – daddy.”  

xXx

After they peeled apart, sweaty and out of breath, Will buried his head in the pillow. His skin felt two sizes too small for the shame he carried. Everything in him was straining and tight.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you’d prefer not to,” Hannibal said gently. “We could never talk about it at all if you wish.”

“That wouldn’t be very fair to you,” Will said, muffled into the pillow. Then, he laughed, because he actually cared about being fair to Hannibal, even after all the blood and bodies that had come between them.

There was nothing to be done about that now. The story spilled out of him. He had never told anyone.

“When I was 18, I came home from college to visit my dad. It was Christmas break but he wasn’t there. Turns out he got a call to fix a house boat up north. Big money.”

“I am sorry you were alone,” Hannibal said.

“It was okay. I was used to it. My dad, he sent one of his friends over with a six-pack. We just started drinking. I got really drunk. And Mike–that was his name– he fucked me. First time I had sex. Bent over the old leather couch in our living room.”

Will could still remember the couch creaking with their weight, the faded leather rubbing against his knees. Mike told him he was perfect.

Hannibal traced a foreign shape on Will’s back.

Will peeped up at him from the pillow.

“It was pretty awkward really. I was so shy. And embarrassed. But he was – nice to me. He made me feel good. He – even tucked me into bed after.”

“Did your relationship continue?”

“No,” Will said. “Never happened again. Guess he was embarrassed, too.”

“It’s not unusual to fantasize about this sort of encounter,” Hannibal said. “We can explore it sometime. If you like.”

“Would you like it?”

“I would like to please you.”

Will rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I was asking and you know it.”

“For years I imagined our relationship as platonic. I thought some boundaries would never be breached.”

“And then I asked to fuck you.”

“There is nothing I am not willing to try with you.”

Will buried his head back into the pillow. “I don’t know.”

Yet something in him had given a traitorous lurch at Hannibal’s offer. He knew he wouldn’t deny himself.

Not with Hannibal.

Not anymore.

xXx

Hannibal made them dinner. Will sat out on the balcony – watching the throngs of people below buying zucchinis and tomatoes across Eleftherias Square.

When Hannibal called him inside to set the table, Will had to rub his eyes. He blinked several times. The pot on the stove was filled with risotto. There was no meat in it.  

“A vegetarian meal. Never thought I would see the day.”

Hannibal smiled at him. Will was suddenly struck by how normal he looked, still dapper and refined in his linen suit but less – less intense than Will had ever seen before. Hannibal was comfortable, Will realized.

“There’s lamb broth in the risotto,” Hannibal said, raising one eyebrow. “Maria wouldn’t let me walk away without buying some.”

Will laughed at that. “Of course she wouldn’t.”

They sat down to eat together. The risotto was delicious, it practically melted on Will’s tongue. It didn’t help his distraction.  

He had felt better after telling Hannibal about what happened to him when he was 18. He didn’t realize how much it would help him and now he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Will pushed his food around aimlessly with the tips of his fork.

“The thing we talked about the other day,” Will said. He didn’t look up from his plate. “I’d like to try it. For real.”

“We should discuss your limits then,” Hannibal said, frustratingly nonchalant.

“You’ve researched this. Since we’ve talked.”

“I wanted to be prepared.”

“How Boy Scouts of you.”

“If you don’t behave, shall I punish you?”

Will blinked, then swallowed. “Yes.”

“Do you prefer ageplay?” Hannibal continued. “Or to be treated as you are?”

Will looked at Hannibal from under the dark sweep of his lashes, strangely nervous.

“Younger.”

“Shall we begin tonight?”

Will’s heart fluttered. “Yes. Please.”

“My beautiful boy,” Hannibal said. The praise made his voice soft, as smooth as a caress on Will’s cheek. “Finish eating. Then I will take you to bed.”

Will closed his eyes for a long moment. “Thank you.”

Listen up, this one goes out to @imagine-sterek and literally everyone in this fandom that has not made this a thing because I have needs dammit!


Alright so try to stay with me cuz I am about to take you all on the most magical god damn ride you’ve ever had on the fandom fluff train and you all are going to like it!


The pack are turned into wolf pups cuz why not and the sheriff is left to take care of far too many wolf pups than he signed up for so he calls the one and only Derek Hale who goes over to the Stilinski house immediately and agrees to help John for the next couple of days until the spell wears off. Derek shifts into his wolf form and stays like that the entire time cuz only a wolf can rally a gang of wolf pups John I know what I’m doing.


John thinks the angels have heard his prayers and that Derek is his saving grace and he won’t have to miss a week of work after all. HE IS WRONG! Not only is Derek less helpful than a bowl of rice, Derek only pays attention to Stiles, cuddling the little shit like he didnt just pee all over the carpet when he knows he’s supposed to use the puppy pad.


So John is left to take care of every other wolf pup there is besides his son and what does the fucker do? He gets jealous! Giving the sheriff this look of betrayal whenever he sees him petting one of the wolf pups before whimpering over to Derek for more cuddles and pampering. But that’s not all! No! Instead of Derek being the grown adult that he is and putting an end to Stiles’ jealous behavior he comforts him and glares at John! The asshole nearly bit his hand off when he went to grab Stiles for his bath!


It gets to the point where the rest of the pack actively turn on Stiles and bully him at every turn cuz believe it or not the rest of the pack want Derek cuddles too and its not fair that Stiles is the only one getting attention. They trip him, they push him off the couch, they jump on top of him, they steal his food, they push his head into the water bowl, and Jackson even tried pushing him down the stairs one time.


Point is, it took all but 2 days for Derek to never leave Stiles’ side and Stiles was a smug little shit about it. He sits on Derek’s head while the older wolf walks around looking down at the other pups and John already knows his son is calling them peasants in that fluffy little head of his. The sheriff needs a drink.

the-lazy-workaholic-blog  asked:

just thought a possible interesting prompt for DJWiFi. An idea from the last update for the 4th Drabbles. The stylist hitting on Nino? Would be fun to have Mari and Alya there at one and Nino just getting continuously hit on/ touched flirting like and Alya maybe doing something dramatic to claim him even though he isnt hers yet lol a prompt for whenever ya look for one for some fun ya?

“I can’t believe you’re making me do this again, dude,” Nino grumbled as an assistant fussed with his suspenders.

Adrien laughed, holding a hand up. “It’s not my fault! Jean liked how we look together. He specifically requested you for the shoot today. He refused to do it if you weren’t included.”

“You have got to be lying, man.”

“I’m not!” Adrien insisted with a wide grin. “Chat’s honor!” he winked.

“Hrmph.”

“It’s no surprise, handsome,” Camille purred, striding over with a silk bow tie. “Honestly I’m surprised an agent hasn’t scooped you up.”

Nino flushed. “You guys are ridiculous.”

The stylist wound the silk around his neck and stepped in close to tie it. “The only thing ridiculous is how gorgeous you are. Are you seeing anyone?”

From across the room, steam billowed out from Alya’s ears. “Who does Miss Tight Pants think she is?” she hissed.

Marinette bit her lip. “She is being kind of flirty, huh?”

Alya stared at her. “Kind of flirty, M? Kind of? She’s practically humping him!”

“Keep your voice down!” Marinette’s eyes darted to where their friends were still being fussed with. Adrien raised his eyebrows and she blushed and smiled, shaking her head. “To be fair, Al, Nino isn’t actually seeing anyone.”

“Are we really going to go there?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Is that right, Marinette ‘I still can’t seem to ask Adrien out for coffee’ Dupain-Cheng?”

Marinette’s cheeks darkened. “I’m working on it! Anyway, that’s not the issue right now. We’re talking about you and Nino.”

“There is no me and Nino,” Alya replied stubbornly.

“Exactly. So it shouldn’t matter if Camille is interested in him or not, should it?”

Alya frowned. “She’s really old.”

Marinette laughed. “She’s really not.”

“Well, she’s…she’s…super pretty and sophisticated and totally into him,” she finished, voice down. “He should probably just date her.”

“Sure,” Marinette nodded. “Except he doesn’t like her.”

“Look at him! He’s all flushed and adorable and cute and oh no, I think I like Nino.”

“Finally!”

Alya gave her a panicked look. “What am I supposed to do?!”

Marinette furrowed her brows. “Wow, is this how I am because–”

“Marinette!”

“Sorry. Look, go ask him if he wants to go do something after the shoot. It’s Nino. He’s going to say yes.”

“I don’t want him saying yes just because he’s nice.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Believe me, that’s not why he’ll say yes. Just go ask him before they have to start.”

Alya nodded and stood anxiously. Camille ran her hand down Nino’s chest and he stepped back. Something in Alya snapped and she moved to his side, winding her arm through his. “Hi, Nino.”

He beamed down at her. “Hey, Alya. Are you guys having fun?”

“A bit. I was hoping maybe we could do something after this. Just you and me.” Her eyes slid to Camille for just a moment before returning to Nino.

His face lit up. “That would be really great.” He leaned in, voice lowering. “But, uh, Adrien is wanting to ask Mari out after this and I think he’s hoping we’ll tag along. Dude is hella nervous.” 

“Of course he is,” Alya chuckled. “That sounds great. Just the four of us.” She leaned up and kissed Nino’s cheek and he froze in delighted surprise. “Can’t wait.”

Alya sashayed back to Marinette with a smirk. “Was he watching me?” she whispered as soon as she was close enough.

“We were all watching you,” Marinette laughed quietly. “Way to stake out your territory.”

“You just wait, M. You’ve got something coming your way.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Marinette frowned. Alya chuckled and walked past her as the guys moved out to the set. “Wait, Alya! What’s that mean?!”


Prompt List

Buy Me a Coffee? <3

Sick of you

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Request: Yes! Anon:  What about some Draco Malfoy imagine? Maybe like he is only kind and sweet with you. But doesn’t want that nobody finds that he is like that so when people are around, he is rude to you. You choose the end hahaha!!!

A/N: Hope you like it! I got a carried away. 

please dont hate me


“You look so cute when you blush!” my boyfriend Draco said. We’ve been together only a few weeks and I really enjoyed his company, he was always sweet to me.

“You know? It isnt fair that people say that girls look cute when they blush, they just make us blush even more!” I told him. At the moment we were near the Forbbiden Forest, it was sort of our spot.

“Well, I think it’s cute” he said looking at me s I covered my face with my hand.

“Shut up!” I said laughing “let’s go, I dont want to miss dinner”

“As you wish, my princess” 


“how you doin? guys” I said looking at Draco’s friends

“Hey Draco, Y/n” Blaise answered 

“Y/n, why dont you go to your friends while I am here?” Draco said looking at me

“I don’t want to, I want to stay here”

“And I don’t want you to be with us”

“Why?”

“I don’t like you to be with us! You are useless here” he said looking at me with something I could only descrive as disgust.

“Ok, I’ll go” I said as I walked away, he never treated me like that when we were alone. What was his problem?

“Weren’t you a little to harsh there Malfoy?” I heard Pansy, but she said in tone that sounded like she was mocking me.

“Nice one mate” was the last thing I heard as I walked away.


A little time later I was in the library when Draco came to me

“I’m sorry about that Y/n”

“I don’t know, are you?” I looked over my book

“Yeah, I dont know what happened to me” he sat next to mee and I putted my book down.

“That makes two of us”

“Y/n, I am really sorry, sorry for treating you like that babe, I am sorry”

“Ok, I belive you, just, don’t do it again ok?”

“Ok, I wont do it again, sorry again princess” 

But he will do it again. Repeteadly


Since that day I avoided to talk to Draco’s friends. But I couldn’t avoid them forever, it just kept happening, they would mock me everytime they saw me and Draco will be getting on their side, but the straw that high tumbler came when me and Draco were in a hallway talking, when Blaise and Pansy came to us.

“Draco! We just wanted to know if you were still be with us during dinner, without your stupid girlfriend, of course” Pansy said looking to me like I was just a piece of garbage.

I just stood there looking at Draco, hoping he would do or say anything, but he was just looking down, avoiding my eyes

“Yeah, maybe she could go with her mudblood friend” that was it. I couldnt stand them anymore. They could mock me but whenever someone mocked my friends I got angry, and specially my friend Emily, who was a muggle born, she was in Hufflepuff and I met her before I even met Draco. In thirth year I was in the Black Lake reading a muggle book wich I found in a library on Hogsmade when she came to me and told me that she was reading the exact same book. Since then we were friends ndwe would recomend books to each other all the time, wich was one of the tings Draco didnt accepted about me.

I was a half blood that came from a long line of purebloods until my father met a muggle and married her, and I was alays intrested in the muggle world, but since I met Draco I had to read the muggle books when I was alone.

But when I heard Zabini call Emily a mudblood I got out of there with tears forming in my eyes, not sad tears, anger tears. I was angry that every time Parkinson or zabini said something about me Draco wouldnt say nothing or he would get on their side.

I got out of the castle and went to the other side of the Black Lake, the side that was near the wall that kept Hogwarts away from the world. I sat with my back againts the wall and screamed. Even tough me and Draco had only been together for four months I was already sick of him and his friends.


Part two?

Sorry, not sorry

Dating Alex Standall would include:

okay so ive. never actually posted one of these before but i had a bunch of ideas this morning and i couldnt stop writing and this happened adljbaljsd i hope you guys like it 

this is rly rly long so i put most of it under the cut alsjdas sorry its so long i just couldnt stop writing once i started! 

Originally posted by hellomadzstuff


  • you had always seen each other at school and even shared a class before but the two of you had never actually talked
  • you officially meet your junior year at a party

Keep reading

Exasperating also starts with E

(Note: this is an Au where Eurus never killed VT and grew up as normal in the Holmes household as the baby of the family, she’s still a sociopath, so this happened…)

“Are you ever going to tell Molly Hooper that you love her?” Was the first thing Sherlock heard upon entering Baker Street after a long case, admittedly he should be used to his little sister showing up at his flat for no reason other than to annoy him, but honestly he thought it was Mycroft’s turn this month .

“And good evening to you too Eurus” Sherlock sighed turning around to find her sitting in his chair casually eating from a tub of (obviously expensive, imported specifically for high priority clients, delivered just two hours ago by a messenger with sweaty hands) Marchetti Gelato, she was wearing the Pajamas Mycroft had give her last Christmas and apparently seemed to have the ludicrous idea that he was back to his eight year old self who’d indulged her in as many pretend tea parties as she wished “I thought you said sleepovers were for goldfishes and amoeba brained females not worth associating with”

(Adult Eurus had never graduated from her ‘force my brothers to play tea party with me’ phase. And unlike Mycroft, who’d easily used his seniority to escape their little sister’s manipulative feminine machinations as soon as humanly possible, Sherlock never really had it in him to push her away)

“And he avoids my question, big surprise there, do have some Gelato, I even had this Ginger Nut flavor comissioned just for you” Eurus smiled extending the tub in his direction “you know that you are my favorite brother don’t you?”

“Yes I am aware, considering that the other option is Mycroft and I always win by default, although I apreciate the effort to sweeten what will undoubtedly be a conversation fraught with manipulation tactics and no I do not love Molly Hooper” Sherlock replied, putting away his bellstaff loosening his scarf and accepting the gelato “speaking of which how is your dear James?”

“Still hiding behind his lawyer in an effort to avoid me” Eurus sighed dramatically with a wave of her hand

“Well to be fair Moriarty isn’t an idiot, I think most men would prefer his high security prison in the middle east over facing your wrath after his failure to remember your aniversary” Sherlock didn’t have to make his disapproval of his sister’s choice of boyfriend known, after all it was the frequent topic of discussion among family dinners and the only subject Mycroft and he agreed on lately, but when it came to life sentences the Holmes brothers didn’t think that there was anything worse than being subjected to Eurus and the mercurial moods she hid under her sociopathic personality, so they both refrained from outright trying to get themselves rid of him.

“As James should” Eurus huffed “but he won’t be able to plead guilty forever if I make sure evidence of the contrary begins to accumulate around him” And considering the latest petty crime Moriarty had pleaded guilty for involved the assassination of a well known Middle East religious leader, Sherlock didn’t doubt his sister’s threat “are we done with your deflections Sherlock?, answer me already, when is that love confession taking place?”

“Very well Eurus, I’ll humor you” the ‘else you’ll never let the subject drop’ was implied but thankfully not voiced, if one thing was true among the Holmes family was that Sherlock loved his like minded sister and rarely left an opportunity to talk to her go to waste “why do you think that I am as you so eloquently put it 'in love’ with Molly Hooper when you know I firmly believe that sentiment is a waste of time”

“Because you are, do you need me to make a PowerPoint presentation to illustrate it?” Eurus snorted, reminding Sherlock of their teenage years and her old perchance for whining about always being right “Anyone with high IQ can see it”

“So Papa has finally given you the grandchildren ultimatum huh?”

“No more than he gave it to Mycroft but that’s not the point”

“Youre his only daughter of course its the point, Papa wants grandbabies to spoil and you as the daddy’s girl that you are, do not want to dissapoint him, you wouldn’t be here trying to matchmake me otherwise” Sherlock shot back smugly “stop saying I’m in love with Molly”

“may I remind you that of all the people in this sentiment riddled universe Molly Hooper is the only one you’ve voluntarily apologized to?”

“It doesn’t prove anything” Sherlock dodged sitting in his armchair “I respect Molly, she’s my friend”

“You analyze her life choices and clothing preferences more than you do any other female in your acquaintance and that includes mummy, Mrs Hudson, Mary Watson and Me” Eurus listed off ticking her fingers “I don’t have much experience with actual friends but as the social manipulation expert in this family I can tell you that friends do not do that”

“I do NOT analyze Molly’s life choices, I deduce them and offer helpful advice, which according to John IS what friends do”

“Then why do you always hold your deductions whenever the topic of sex comes up around her?” Eurus challenged him with a smug smile as if to say 'go ahead, try to deduce yourself out of that question’ “it wouldn’t happen to be because your mind palace automatically supplies complimentary material would it? You used to say that intercourse was part of human nature”

Sherlock internally blanched, his sister really knew too much “because it has come to my attention that talking about someone else’s sexual habits and preferences in a social setting is potentially embarrassing for them”

“I see I’ll have to help you along, honestly your level of denial is quite impressive” If Eurus had been a little younger she’d have reached for fake glasses and written Sherlock’s name on a clipboard like she used to do when she’d mockingly declared she wanted to be a psychologist after her tenure in Sherrinford “why if its potentially embarrassing do you still do it to virtually anyone…exept Molly?”

“Because Molly is different, she’s not an idiot, she’s useful to me and good at her job”

“So you get no satisfaction out of making her feel like an idiot I understand, yet one could argue that Mycroft and I arent idiots either and you infer about our sexual lives often enough” Eurus pointed out taking a spoonful of gelato “why is molly different?”

“Because she is!” Sherlock grunted instantly regretting it by the knowing look his younger sister was giving him “what I mean to say is that, talking to her about the subject never feels correct to me, Molly isn’t …”

“Able to talk about sex like a normal adult? Why Sherlock she’s a healthy woman in her thirties who disects naked human bodies for a living, I would think she’s probably very open about it” Eurus ventured innocently “her past boyfriends seem like they were enjoying themselves at the very least”

“Would you please stop taking about Molly Hooper and sexual expertise in the same sentence!” The consulting detective finally snapped

“You ruin all her relationships”

“Its not my fault that she seems to attract men with criminal tendencies”

“Oh please, you announce to any who can hear the most inconsequential things, who cares if the paralegal with the bleach teeth was evading his taxes? His only crime was talking to your precious pathologist during her lunch break” why was it that Eurus always managed to sound fifteen whenever she tried to meddle in his life?, she was a genius in all parts of her life, but as a sister Eurus Holmes could really be a pain in Sherlock’s ass when she wanted to be"If you haven’t deduced it, I’ll have you know even James could tell that her relationships are your blind spot”

“Please don’t remind me about the famous 'Jim from IT’ considering that masquerading as Molly’s date isnt an ideal way of meeting my younger sister’s psychopath boyfriend ”

“ Life partner” Eurus corrected without missing a beat “James and I don’t use amaeba terms to classify our conection” then remembering something funny she added with a chuckle “The 'Molly factor’ blindsided your deductions so badly you even thought James was gay, as if someone like him would limit himself by the sexuality and gender of his partners”

“Nowdays I even doubt that he’s limited by their consent, species or lack of pulse” Sherlock rolled his eyes, glaring at his sister “But then again he’s saddled with you, so what should I expect? After all I’ve seen his bruises and heard the tortured screams”

“What can I say I like things rough and James is the only man I know who gives as good as he gets” Eurus shrugged and Sherlock had to remind himself that she wasn’t the type to worry about the gender, sexual orientation, lack of consent or inmorality of her sexual acts either “he has a certain je nes se quais that fits me so well”

“Spare me the details Eurus, there’s a reason I never frequent your Knightsbridge flat”

“Me thinks the gentleman doth protest too much, your Molly hasn’t been raised under a rock you know, why, if my airlines didn’t keep me so busy I’d think I might even grow to like her, I would wager my escapes with James wouldn’t shock her”

“Keep your evil machinations away from Molly Hooper sister mine” Sherlock warned narrowing his eyes “You already played you games with John and it almost cost him his marriage, if you so much as try the same on Molly so help me science I will make you regret it”

“Why would I want to make my future sister in law despise me?” Eurus laughed letting Sherlock see in her eyes a glint of the madness she kept firmly under lock and key in the confines of her own mind palace “you should really hasten that love confession Sherlock, you won’t be virile forever you know, after all we don’t know if all those drugs you’ve taken in the past have affected your fertility” she taunted in a sing song voice

“I’m perfectly fertile and perfectly virile! Molly would have nothing to complain about in that aspect” Sherlock exclaimed outraged realizing belatedly thst he’d falken for Eurus’ bait “I meant it in a purely hypothetical situation”

“ARGH I blame Mycroft for this! If he hadn’t put the 'emotions are evil’ mantra in your head you wouldn’t be acting like a preschooler pulling the pigtails of the girl he fancies” Eurus groaned putting her head in her hands “what have I done to deserve this?” The answer : probably a lot

“Funny, Mycroft blames you for crippling Victor’s legs in that blasted well and coloring my perception of human relationships with trauma”

“He locked me in SHERRINFORD for three years because of it, excuse me if I disregard his opinion on the state of your psyche”

Sherlock sighed, he supposed they all were self fulfilling prophecies, being the middle child in a family of geniuses had never been easy, specially because their whole sibling dynamic hinged on Sherlock’s hability to stay neutral in the feud between Eurus and Mycroft, who by all means hated each other during a good day

But Eurus liked Sherlock and Mycroft liked Sherlock so they made an effort to not attempt mutual murder if it kept them in their middle brother’s good graces.

“Sherlock you leave me no choice! If you don’t get your head out of your rectal cavity where Molly Hooper is concerned and tell her that you love her I’ll have to force the issue with Mycroft” Eurus outlined in no uncertain terms, eyes flashing the way they only did when she played violin “and believe me I won’t be as nice to him as I’m to you”

“It would take a battering ram to knock down Mycroft long enough to give papa grandchildren and we both know it” Sherlock exclaimed, then narrowing his eyes the posibility that Eurus was in fact unhinged enough to put her brain to the task of breaking Mycroft “you wouldn’t, even YOU have to draw a line somewhere”

“Andrea has been working with him for how long? Since high school if I’m not mistaken, I happen to know a philanthropic a armament mogul that is looking for a public relations manager and well…How bored must Andrea be in that silly little desk, chained to our brother, doing paperwork all day, a woman of her capabilities deserves more and Mycroft doesnt let her do an ounce of fieldwork, if I happened to offer the position to her, adding the fact that our mogul has the highest number of assassination attempts in any bounty hunter’s book, she’d accept right away, if only to get to use her fancy guns” Eurus began innocently as tough outlining her lunch break plans

Deducing exactly who she was referring to Sherlock groaned “Nikolai Udinov? You would send Andrea to manage the life of that reprobate? Mycroft would never allow it”

“Well what do you expect? If Andrea leaves her job and him for good I calculate that it will take Mycroft less than two months to crack, she does his laundry, paperwork, calls, orders him his cakes, decorates his bunkers, manages his agents with an iron fist, Andrea practically breathes for him and Mycroft needs the wake up call” Eurus smiled with a hint of malice “so many agents have fallen in Udinov’s maze of secrets…It would be a pity if Mycroft’s greek flower was next”

“That’s because Nikolai Udinov is the type of assignment that goverment agents train for years to take on, the bullseye in his back is larger than Mycroft’s ego ” Sherlock snapped wondering again why he hadnt trottled his sister yet “you’d be manipulating Andrea into strong arming Godfather Death”

“Correction Mycroft will THINK she’s taking on Godfather Death” Eurus snapped rolling her eyes “She’ll be fine, I wasn’t lying when I said Agent Anthea is quite competent and she’s been wanting to do fieldwork since her thirtieth birthday, my people will make sure she doesn’t get killed”

Sherlock didn’t even want to ask about who 'her people’ were, like he did with Mycroft and they did with him, the less the Holmes siblings knew about eachother’s ocassional dabblings in the wrong side of the law the better “You’ll just have Mycroft believe she is, but why?”

Eurus huffed tempted to just repeat Sherlock’s famous 'you see but you don’t observe’ dribble that he always spewed to John Watson “Because it will kill Mycroft to lose Andrea and I’ll enjoy seeing him suffer” Eurus shrugged “think about it Sherlock, Andrea has been a fixture in Mycroft’s life since your uni days, the only time you and I see him without her is on social situations and even then she’s always one text away from him, he trusts her with all of his sensitive information”

“You assume that he cares about her” Sherlock snorted mystified “Mycroft doesnt do sentiment Eurus, not even for Andrea”

“Oh how blind my brothers can be when they wish to” Eurus laughed taking out a bag of chips from her purse and biting a couple “I don’t assume, I KNOW, just as I know that you love Molly, the difference is that Andrea is more likely to wait to have children, but as I said I’ll force the issue if I have to”

“If Agent Anthea dies because you wanted to get out of giving our parents grandchildren then forget about Sherrinford, he’ll hire a submarine and drop you in the Atlantic with a crew of deaf personell”

“You could also tell your morgue mouse that you love her, then I wont have to threaten Mycroft’s potted plant”

Eurus like always, had a better grasp of the ins and outs of sentiment than her two elder brothers, a fact both Sherlock and Mycroft often resented, because while Sherlock fought his battles with logic and Mycroft with dry politics, Eurus manipulated people using their emotions against them. She’d rarely used her 'gift’ on Sherlock preferring to keep herself occupied with her chain of airlines and her side work as a data analyst (when she wasn’t dabbling in her illegal hobbies) apparently tough she was doing it now.

Sherlock didn’t find it amusing.

“I suppose I should be grateful that you have not threatened to kill Molly yet and instead chose to talk to me about it in a rational way, isn’t that what your point is?”

“Yes! And I feel deeply offended that you don’t appreciate the gesture, I could have bulldozed trough your childhood traumas just to make you see sense” Eurus huffed clearly not happy by Sherlock’s lack of gratitude “I don’t see why you wont just admit the truth”

“You’re seeing things where they don’t exist, don’t you think that if zi loved Molly I would know?”

“NO! BECAUSE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND SENTIMENT” she shot back with an angry glare, then Eurus sighed and did the one thing that always brought Sherlock to his knees, she opened her big dark eyes and gave him a very sincere part of her vulnerability “Sherlock” she began, her tone belying how much she wasn’t trying to manipulate him this time “you’ve been there for me trought all the hard things in my life, you who have supported me even in things we both know you knew better than to support…Is it really such a surprise to know that I want to see you happy?”

“as my little sister, wanting to see me happy comes with the territory” Sherlock replied putting the desert down and returning her sincerety “the truth is that I don’t see a future where I can keep Molly safe, I have too many enemies…she deserves better than me, she always has”

“And yet she loves you, all of you, far strongly than you deserve”

“Foolish woman that she is” Sherlock chuckled “I can’t love her Eurus, I’d be placing a red mark in her forehead if I did”

“Sherlock, there’s always going to be Blackwoods, Magnussens and Black Lotus organisations in this world, in fact there’s drunk drivers and bad weather and unhealthy eating habits all who cause death on daily basis, but for you there’s only one Molly” Eurus tried reasoning softly “ its hard enough for people like us to form lasting human connections, I’ve come to learn it takes years of persistence to completely bond with someone else and the fact that you are capable of it is something I’ve always admired far beyond Mycroft’s Iceman facade”

“Speaking from experience?” He raised an eyebrow taking care not to break the fragile bubble of vulnerability they’d reached

“Its always nice to know that there’s always someone out there who will care about you beyond the trappings of your psyche” Eurus agreed cryptically, giving Sherlock a tiny insight into the twisted reason why his sister hadn’t allowed Moriarty to blow his brains off after Sherlock’s fall “isn’t that how Molly makes you feel? I admit she’s no Nocturne like Irene Adler in looks or sexual appeal but I don’t believe I could be wrong in what I see when you look at her while her back is turned”

“Don’t put Molly in the same category as the woman…Irene is a capriccio, an Intermezzo with too many Staccato harmonies and not enough tenerezza, more Opera than Nocturne she’s filled with high octaves and acciaccaturas, Molly is her own sonata”

“Now that is quite surprising” It had never occurred to Eurus that Sherlock might have a melody for Molly, mainly because if he did he’d want Eurus to hear it at least once, given her brother and her shared a love for violin that often lent itself to describing people in musical terms according to how they saw the world but honestly Eurus expected Sherlock to classify Molly as a chloral “how does Molly sound?”

“Molly is shades of Adagios, Dolce notes and intermitent Allegros, that rise and fall without damaging the integrity of the composition, any more notes and she could have been a ballet or a solft waltz” Sherlock sounded so sure, humming a few bars to let her understand the gist of his thoughts, always far more comfortable expressing sentiment trough music than in words

“I wonder why you have never played her for an audience” Eurus genius that she was didn’t need to see him play to hear the notes in her head, the soft tone of the violin and the spikes of the Sonata’s hidden edges “she sounds like comming home” was all Eurus could say after the song finished playing in her mental fortress “your very own masterpiece”

“Her melody isn’t for public to hear” Sherlock replied ruminanting in his sister’s words, because she had put into words the elusive title that he’d never given to the Sonata that belonged to Molly Hooper 'comming home’ was an apt name for the piece and if he was honest with himself he had to admit it had been that way for a long time, Molly herself was the kind of person who’s existence validated the part of Sherlock who needed a place to run to when things got difficult “she makes me feel accepted, when it comes to Molly I always know that whatever I do, or wherever I go, I will always have a place to call home in her life, the Sonata always changes in degrees of subtleties” hadn’t that been the reason he’d felt so hurt by her (failed) engagement to Meat dagger? Because he’d assumed she would always be there… and on the heels of that thought the realization struck “Because I love her”

Eurus could have clapped her hands in joy at the breaktrough of her brother, and to think it hadn’t taken any death threats, really Sherlock was so much better to reason with than Mycroft “then why do you keep wasting so much time?” She asked still trying to be understanding

“You don’t understand Eurus, I LOVE HER” Sherlock exclaimed in shock and Eurus could see the beginning of what looked like a very Holmes panic attack “And I’ve hurt her in the past so badly…and you KNEW” he was referring of course to the fact that Eurus hadn’t told him what she suspected since day one

“In all honesty I thought that you would have noticed your attraction to your pathologist since the moment you began your game of 'flirting for organs’ I didn’t expect the situation to last this long” Eurus admitted sheepishly reminding Sherlock of the way she used to intentionally assume that he’d clean his bedroom when he had a nasty experiment rotting in his desk, conveniently not reminding him to throw it away “its not my fault, its yours” So maybe his mind palace was undergoing a major rearrangement, Eurus could work with that..hopefully

“What do I do now?” Sherlock groaned putting his head in his hands “I love her”

“You do whatever mummy would do I suppose, she’s the one who is good at handling non-sociopaths” Eurus tried to help along “maybe you should confer with Dr Watson, I fear my continued advice in that subject would nderimental to your latest breaktrough” Aka: Eurus would not give Sherlock romantic life hacks, she simply wasn’t willing to.

“Mummy…would make lunch, maybe a pot of her favourite tea” Sherlock agreed pensively “and ease Molly slowly into the situation”

“Not too slowly, I want my first nephew to be born preferably within the next year or so” Eurus asserted as tough she were giving Sherlock her takeaway order “you will make mostly male children given both of your genetic profiles but I’d still like at least one of them to be named after me if possible”

“Have you ever thought that Molly might not want children? If anything she hasn’t agreed to even date me yet, let alone get engaged or conceive with me…”

“Tiny crime solving pathologists?” Eurus supplied when he couldn’t bring himself to say the word children “Sherlock a basic deduction of Molly’s life would point towards a desire for a nuclear family, more to the point she’d want it and she’d want it with you, the only sibling in our circle liable to be successful in raising another generation of Holmes geniuses” considering Mycroft and Eurus would most likely cause their offspring some degree of psychological issues with their parenting techniques, it didn’t sound so much like a compliment

Aaaand there went their bonding moment, Eurus was back to her manipulative self “Maybe you should leave” Sherlock muttered comming in and out of buffering mode “as much as I enjoy our interludes, I don’t think I’m fit for company or will be for the next few hours”

“Maybe I should, my work here is done” Eurus agreed rising from her seat and dusting her Pajamas “I expect that a sleepover wouldn’t be any fun anyway, not with the way your thoughts are shouting”

Noticing the changes in the tone of her voice Sherlock briefly paused his panic attack to regard his sister with a suspicious stare “Stay away from my pathologist Eurus, I mean it”

“I will, but be a smart boy and keep an eye on her, I heard your old friend Victor is back in town” Eurus attempted to joke “Maybe you should move her here for a few days, you know, for security reasons” And with that parting shot his sister breezed out of Baker Street leaving a very stressed Sherlock no choice but to phone Molly

“Gasp and Bloody Works what can I do for you?” Molly’s cheerful voice answered her mobile, Sherlock could hear the sound of a bone saw in the distance and deduced he’d caught her in the middle of an autopsy

A million thoughts raced trough his head but he settled for a mundane response, no need to alarm her “Bad time for a call?”

“Oh it’s you Sherlock, sorry I didn’t see the caller ID, funny you should phone I just got the most interesting body with a unidentified brain aneurysm, I thought you might find it interesting so no its not a bad time at all” she always sounded in good mood whenever he called, give or take a few exemptions, Molly always tried her best to be positive about everything including his cases.

“Really? A brain you say” Sherlock perked up before remembering the subject at hand “actually I was calling to ask for a favor, but the brain aneurysm sounds quaint, please save it for future study”

'smooth Sherlock real smooth’ mind palace john muttered

'Not now Watson’

Molly who knew him well enough to know that if he wanted to ask for something big he’d do it in person and not by phone had no qualms in replying “what kind of favor? Sherlock is this for a case?, you know that as long as its within my power I will help you”

“No its not for a case, this is more of a personal favor, I need to stay in your flat for an undefined amount of time” there he said it now all he had to do was get Molly to agree, because while this wasn’t the first time he’d used her place as a bolthole it was the one time he’d do it for sentiment’s sake and consent was important.

“Wait, why? Are you okay” the bone saw was turned off and Sherlock could hear the unecessary concern in the voice of the woman he’d just realised he loved.

“yes I’m fine, but I have reasons to believe that my privacy in Baker Street has been compromised” and he needed to make sure Molly’s hadn’t been. Lest Eurus perchance for giving people a push in the right direction landed Molly in the bottom of a well.

“By who?”

Sherlock gave a long suffering sigh and answered “by my sister”

An: I’ve thought up Eurus as a dark version of Georgiana to Sherlock’s Mr Darcy hope she wasn’t to occ, this fic is for all my Sherllolian folks on tumblr, who are just awesome

ASKS - Mini Stories/Headcanons/Ideas

Little ask-stories sent to my main blog, posted here!

violetsnowstorm555 said: Archaeology majors agree never to dig anywhere near campus for fear of what might come up.

Anon said: What about that one kid who thinks the fair folk are actually ALIENS

k4t3yk4t said: There was that one occasion with the Vegan™ freshman who discovered the black fur coat in her roommate’s closet. She was so appalled… She stole it, not to keep, but to confront her roommate later about. She never got the chance to. She wasn’t seen for months, but eventually came back. She was different, when she did, though.. And never went near the pool again.

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anonymous asked:

This ones a little weird... but how would the rfa react to waking up, after a night of drinking, in bed with mc? (In a version of the game where mc stays friends with all of them and doesn't really pick a route,,,) thnx so much!!!

you guys r so cute lolol this isnt weird :3

Yoosung

  • the first thing Yoosung notices when he wakes up is a sharp headache 
  • the second thing is MC
  • when he woke up he was holding MC in his arms, spooning them
  • oh my god
  • is this seriously MC?
  • i mean obviously he knows what MC looks like but he just….has to be sure that this is really whats happening right now
  • as slowly and quietly as humanly possible, Yoosung gets out of bed
  • he goes around to the other side so he can see the face of the person he apparently spent the night with
  • MC confirmed
  • he honestly cant believe it
  • MC is here, in his bed, in his arms
  • all wrapped up in his stupid star sheets
  • (these in blue)
  • he just looks at them for a few seconds, taking it all in
  • he then does the worlds quietest, dorkiest victory dance
  • he spent the night with MC
  • HIM!!!
  • ITS HIM!! YOOSUNG!!! SLEEPING WITH THE MC!!!
  • thats when MC shifts in their sleep and he quickly gets back in bed, snuggling up to MC like he never even moved
  • he decides this is something he can definitely get used to!!
  • :3

Zen

  • as soon as Zen wakes up he knows he got real Fucked Up™ last night
  • he sits up in bed and stretches and thats when he sees MC
  • “shit. shit shit shit shit shit shit”
  • i am the worst human being on the planet
  • how could i take advantage of them like that
  • God please forgive me
  • why did i do that
  • Jaehee is gonna kill me
  • he stumbles out of bed, waking MC
  • “oh..good morning, Zen”
  • oh my god their sleepy voice is so cute-
  • NO STOP THAT
  • “i am so sorry, i’ll get you a ride home right away i’ll even treat you to breakfast i swear i did not mean to take advantage of you-”
  • MC is majorly hung over and doesnt have the energy to talk over Zen so they just shush him really loudly
  • “wh…why are you…”
  • “Zen, you didnt take advantage of me, alright? this was my decision as much as it was yours”
  • they flop back down, sprawling out across Zen’s bed
  • “now will you please come back to bed? i dont wanna get up yet”
  • Zen is SHOCKED
  • MC doesnt want to leave, they dont even want breakfast
  • they just want to be with him
  • and after about one (1) single second of contemplation Zen gets right back into bed and snuggles up to MC
  • he is honestly so happy and warm and butterflies in his stomach

Jaehee

  • fALLS OUT OF BED
  • WHERE AM I
  • IN MY OWN APARTMENT? OH
  • BUT WHO IS IN MY BED
  • I’M LATE FOR WORK
  • FUCK,SHITFUCK,WHAT THE FUCK
  • its MC
  • its really MC
  • shitshitshitshitSHITSHITSHITSHIT
  • she has to take some DEEP breaths to calm herself down
  • MC is probably dehydrated and will be hungry when they wake up and needs a fresh set of clothes and something for the headache they will definitely wake up with
  • but Jaehee is already late for work 
  • she makes a breakfast that would normally be for herself, and leaves it by the bed for MC
  • she brews some coffee that she would normally take to work but leaves it in a thermos for MC instead
  • she also leaves a glass of water and some advil
  • and on a little piece of paper she writes a note
  • “i hope you feel alright when you wake up. please dont forget to eat breakfast and remember that i am only a phone call away”
  • and on her way out the door Jaehee couldnt help but notice how cute MC looks when theyre asleep

Jumin

  • he has so many mixed emotions
  • i mean, he feels happy but…
  • this is not how this was supposed to happen
  • he was going to court MC and win their heart in the most romantic way
  • not wake up next to them, disheveled
  • no, no this is all wrong
  • but somehow to still feels so right 
  • MC is so warm and soft and gentle and…perfect
  • but he cant wake up with them like this!!! ITS TACKY AND NOT HOW HE PICTURED IT!!!
  • Jumin leaves for work without waking MC but gives them a little kiss on the head before leaving
  • he makes sure that his staff knows to take good care of MC and gets them anything they need
  • he makes someone go out and buy MC a brand new set of clothes
  • and like Jaehee he leaves a note!!!!!!
  • he spends like 20 minutes drafting the perfect note
  • he doesnt want to sound too stiff but he cant sound too clingy either and he’s trying so hard
  • “my deepest apologies for leaving you like this. i hope that you are well taken care of, please call me when you wake up. Driver Kim will make sure you are returned home safety. i hope you had as much fun as i did last night. -Jumin Han”
  • this isnt how Jumin pictured his and MC’s relationship starting but he definitely didnt hate it

707

  • a rough morning
  • Seven is actually woken up when MC wakes up and sees him
  • “oh my god this cant be happening, this cant be happening”
  • he wakes up and rubs his eyes and then LEAPS OUT OF BED
  • “WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?”
  • “I DONT KNOW! I DONT REMEMBER ANYTHING FROM LAST NIGHT!”
  • “wait, did we….”
  • MC buries her face in their palms
  • “………….nice”
  • Seven decides to say with a smirk on his face
  • immediately MC grabs every pillow in the vicinity and starts chucking them at Seven
  • he bats them out of the air
  • “hey, hey whats all this hostility?”
  • MC grabs the blanket and suddenly hides under it, mumbling “because youre an idiot”
  • Seven shrugs
  • “thats fair”
  • he starts to leave the room when MC pokes their head out of the covers
  • “where are you going?”
  • “to make us some breakfast”
  • “really…?”
  • “yea. no one should have to wake up next to an idiot like me and not even get some waffles out of it”
  • Seven makes breakfast and even brings MC some water and meds
  • its actually a really pleasant morning and he’s super chill
  • then as soon as MC leaves his house
  • HE RUNS AROUND THE ENTIRE PERIMETER OF HIS HOME THREE TIMES AND NEVER STOPS SCREAMING AND STARTS WRITING READER INSERT MC FANFICTION AND TYPES THEIR NAME WHILE HE’S CODING AND ACCIDENTALLY TYPES THEIR PHONE NUMBER INTO HIS PHONE AND OH MY GOD IS HE FALLING IN LOVE?

if you read all that thank you so much and i hope you liked it :3

{ p a r a m o u n t } {part two}

                                                   Summary :

You were stuck in a life of routine, until one night you stumbled upon a hill - changing your life forever.

Notes: Bucky x Reader, Fluff, Some Angst

100 notes and I will do a part three!!!

IF there’s another part, expect it to be much longer! (just laying the groundwork for these two ;))

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Loki’s Song (Part 9)

MASTERLIST

—————————–

So they lived.
The mechanic and the demi god, in their big house on the edge of a wild lake.
Eventually neighbors moved in around them, and then, because Tony demanded that Loki be sociable,  they hosted poker nights, and barbecues on the big deck on warm summer nights.
They had a standing invitation to dinner on every holiday with the sweet old couple who bought the land next to them.

When the winters were too rough, they left to spend weeks in Arizona, passing the time exploring the desert and sipping cold drinks by the pool.
Tony’s money never ran out, even though Loki would have been content to glamour in and out of stores, snapping his fingers and summoning whatever they needed, Tony always insisted on ordering things and paying for them.

One day, when all the news anchors could talk about was the seemingly miraculous return of Captain America, and how refreshing it was to have real heroes back, Tony tossed the television into the lake, and Loki had retrieved it with a roll of his eyes and a stern lecture about littering and not letting his past make him so unhappy.
Tony had cried that night, for what had once been the happiest time of his life, and Loki had held him, pressing his mate’s head to the Mark on his chest, his hand wrapped tight around the corresponding one on Tony’s arm.

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Thunderstorm - Kol Mikaelson.

Based on: Hello Lovely! I was wondering if you could do a Kol Mikaelson one shot (lol because Nate is a freakin adorable and Kol is just a badass character) about being best friends and admitting you love him while he comforts you during a nasty thunderstorm? idk just something cute and fluffy (because we all know Kol isnt all bad lol)            
Author: mxltifandom-imagines

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Incest rage turns me on

Respect to GRRM, who has trolled us all with these incest ships. Folks are rooting for Jon/D@ny “because they weren’t raised together” and then they are still going to root for them once they find out they’re related. lulz! I am delighted by this turn of events. The audience really has to twist themselves into knots to ship them. It’s also the perfect decoy for Jon/Sansa, an inconceivable ship because they won’t allow themselves to conceive it. 

It’s almost like Jonsa evokes an immediate need to censor all discussion. Try to even tentatively broach it on any website that isn’t in the tag on Tumblr and the angry lynch mob starts marching. This could be why Jonsa theories aren’t being discussed in “mainstream” places. The outrage is also really boring and predictable, usually from the position of how THEY would act in that character’s situation. “I would never see my sister that way…” “They were raised as siblings you must not have a sibling!!!” “Never gonna happen, they’re brother and sister” “You’re delusional” Ect, ect, ______insert Jonsa rage of choice here______. 

It’s weird how in ASOIAF fandom, any speculation is fair game (I mean, go look up the Varys is a merman theories), EXCEPT for these two characters having a thing for each other. It’s forbidden to bring it up - not in the narrative, but to the audience’s own delicate morals and sensibilities. I think fans put them in the Forever Siblingzone because they don’t want to feel uncomfortable in their own thoughts. 

Sociologist Howard Becker once said, “deviant behavior is behavior that people so label.” Maybe that’s a bit too relativistic, but there is some truth to the idea that incest is deviant because people labeled it that way. It’s a form of social control that could disappear tomorrow if society agreed to it. Even better, they deny Jonsa as if our cultural incest taboo would suddenly disappear if people even SPECULATED about it. Like the Wall falling, it goes something like this:

  • Excited fan predicts how the “Jon and Sansa FINALLY kiss” moment will go
  • Other fan reads it and *immediately finds their siblings-turned-cousins attractive too*

LOL, this isnt how human behavior works. Oh, and actual people who have siblings-turned-cousins whom they were attracted to: probably zero. 

Dear incest warriors: no one asked you to take up arms to defend the incest taboo. And you don’t accomplish anything by telling people they’re dirty and wrong for playing with their Barbies “in that way.” 

If you REALLY want to get mad about it, then I suggest donating money to a survivors of incest organization. RAINN is a good start. Maybe violent, coerced incest with a power imbalance IRL should be the object of your rage?

And let’s have a sense of proportionality here. In the show universe, Consensual Cousins and Crazy Craster aren’t even remotely equivalent.

It’s Always Been You - Stiles Stilinski Imagine

Originally posted by teenwxlves


Warning: swearing,time jumps also it’s pretty long..

ENJOY xxx


“Mom,Dad we have new neighbours” I called out running outside “Y/n wear your jacket” my Mom called “I know” I called back running back to grab my jacket then making my way to the house next door.

I saw a boy about my age with his dad “Hi!” I waved giddily “Oh hello” the man smiled “I’m Y/n who are you?” I asked the boy, he became timid and moved behind his dad “Mischief” he answered his voice above a whispher “Mischief? That’s so weird I like it” I smiled the boy named Mischief moved from behind his dad “It’s actually Stiles but he likes Mischief” a woman carrying a box spoke I laughed a bit. “I’m 6 how old are you?” I asked “6″ Stiles smiled “that’s great” i grabbed his hand and jumped causing Stiles to do the same

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Just one of the guys

You’ve been best friends with Kol as long as you could remember. You were friends with him through Mystic Falls, through him coming back in his new body. And one thing was constant, you loved him in whatever body he was in.

But you were his best friend. Just his best friend, you weren’t special, you weren’t magical, you were just a vampire. Nothing more, nothing less. You weren’t short and pretty and giggled at every word he said. You weren’t perfect. You weren’t a rebel who went against her people. You weren’t her. You weren’t Davina.

Davina Claire. The woman-the GIRL who was spending more than enough time with YOUR best friend. it was sickening. She laughed at EVERYTHING he said, when some of it wasn’t even funny. She was the perfect girlfriend wrapped up in a tiny little bow. And even though your best friend told you repeatedly it was nothing you knew he was a liar.

Which is why you may or may not have been completely pleased when Klaus threw Kol back in the vampire pit, so to say and he had to stay with you, without her and her disruptions. You rolled your eyes at her pleas for Marcel to keep him safe. Please, you’d keep him safe. He was your best friend not hers.

You smiled, walking around the room Kol had locked the two of you in, away from the vampires, the ones that wanted to kill him as of now to be correct. You didn’t doubt you’d want to soon enough, thanks to Finns spell but you giggled telling him “I’ll give you permission to stake me if I try to eat you.” You noticed a blush on his face before he said “m'not gonna stake you.” You nodded, turning back to look at the books, feeling his eyes glaze over your body, and secretly you were glad you chose a skirt to show off your legs. Even though you suppose it didn’t matter considering he liked short girls.

Settling on a novel you plucked it from the case, laughing as Kol said “you best know where that goes, Elijah will have a coranary.” “Yeah well if that’s the only way Elijah gets off on Friday nights I feel bad.” He laughed, his eyes on you as you read. Looking up you smiled “what?” You laughed while he shook his head “nothing, you just are pretty.”

You flushed, thankful for the lack of lights in the Mikaelson home. “Pretty.” You weighed the words before saying “thanks I guess.” Looking back at the book he laughed “you act like I called you hideous.” You didn’t tell him but you would rather he did, you didn’t need hope when he was definitely dating someone else. “Are you listening?” You looked up “what?” He laughed “I said you act like I called you hideous.”

You nodded “I heard you.” “And you didn’t want to reply?” You shook your head “not really, what am I supposed to say?” He shrugged, his brow furrowing “what’s wrong with you?” You shook your head “nothing, I’m just not sure you’re new girlfriend would appreciate you calling other girls pretty.” He raised his brows “girlfriend? Who’re you-Davina?” You wanted to scream at him for acting clueless. “Are you jealous?” You ignored him, but looked at him as he stood up “I’m not jealous of anything I just don’t think that’s appropriate behavior do you?” He smiled and you sighed “besides don’t know why I would be of any interest to you, m'not short, pretty, perfect or magical, m'not like her. M'nothing special.” You murmured the last part, hoping without his vampire hearing he wouldn’t hear you. Instead he leaned next to the desk, leaning forward to tuck hair behind your ear “I called you pretty didn’t I?” You froze, looking down as he let his hand hesitate on your cheek before you pulled away “you can’t do that.”

Standing up you put your book back feeling him follow you “do what? Be nice to you?” You sighed, closing your eyes “it’s not nice,‘it’s deceiving and mean.” “Mean? What why?” “Because Kol, because I care about you and you can’t act like you do when you don’t, it’s not fair!” Walking away you stopped as he said “I don’t? How do you know I don’t?” Turning you looked at him “I dunno Kol cause you never act like it, you’re always with the witch girl, you never call me pretty or anything close to it.” He smiled “you are jealous.” “THIS ISNT ABOUT BEING JEALOUS!” He held up his hands, looking at you shocked as your vampire face showed, you covered your face in embarrassment, ashamed, you’ve never shown him your vampire face and that was cause you wanted him to think you’re pretty. Wanted him to think you were like Davina.

You heard him walking over before feeling his hand on yours “y/n..” You shook your head “look at me love, please.” You shook your head “don’t want you to see me like this.. Don’t want you to be afraid.” He sighed, “I’m not afraid.” You licked your lips, letting him pull your hands from your face, but closed your eyes, feeling his hands cup your face, thumbs brushing over the veins under your eyes. He wasn’t running. “Y/n please look at me, wanna see your eyes love.” You shook your head “they won’t be-” “they won’t be your e/c eyes I know love, was one before too ya remember.” You let out a laugh, quickly covering your mouth remembering your fangs. But he stopped you, lowering your hand and you opened your eyes slowly, seeing his blue eyes looking back at your black ones.

You watched his face for a reaction, his eyes going over your face, before he smiled “beautiful” you rolled your eyes “that’s likely.” Him laughing as you glared, you had a lisp when you were in vampire form. “That’s not funny.” He smiled “you’re right that’s not funny.” You smacked him on the arm as he mimicked your lisp, him grabbing your hand before cupping your face again “I told you I’m not afraid.” You looked at him “why did you want to see my face.. Like this.” You were deflated. You watched him swallow before saying “why didn’t you want me to see your face like this?” You sighed “cause it’s ugly, I’m not pretty or perfect or look anything close to someone you would like.” He looked at you before whispering “you know I’m not dating Davina.. Right?”

You looked at him “you’re not?” He shook his head “I mean it may make me feel good with flirting with her and having someone laugh at everything I say.” You looked at him and he smiled “but I love when someone calls me on my shit, someone who tells me that not everything I say is funny, someone who gives me a run for my money and is just as stubborn if not more than I am.” You smiled and he smiled “I love you y/n.” You touched his hand that was with yours and whispered “even if I don’t look like her.”

He smiled “now how can I do this if you were short?” He asked before crashing his mouth with yours, vampire fangs and all. Pulling away, you laughed as he touched your cheeks, your human side back “m'some Prince Charming huh?” You threw your arms around him kissing him fiercely, giggling as he whispered “plus I adore your killer legs too much to want you short.” “Shhhh.” He smiled and whispered “what do you say we make the most of this couch and having to be locked in here for hours?” You smiled “I’d like that.”

reunion falls full script

so…. i think it’s about time to face the music that there is no way in Heck im ever going to be able to draw out all the stuff i have written for rfalls. i mean, there is boatloads of dialogue here. i dont even have the time right now to work on my own webcomic, let alone a fancomic. but i figure, hey, this silly little thing has a lot of fans, maybe they would appreciate seeing the drafts i had planned! and maybe they’d even like to take a crack at drawing some of it themselves!

and this isnt me giving up, either! i’d still really love to draw a ton of this. when i can find time, i’ll totally try! and i’m still going to finish sock opera and the backstory comic. but yknow. the people have been waiting long enough. so here’s a comprehensive list of all the notes and dialogue ive written so far, organized by “episodes”.

(it’s long. really freakin long)

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anonymous asked:

Your stories are hilarious omw. Do you have any other ones to share????????

The Time I Accidentally Set Myself on Fire

(it kind of speaks for itself, but just in case…. tw for fire)

  • So in my family I’m the one who cooks
  • (Partly because I like it, partly because when I was 13 or so I said to my mum ‘I want to learn how to cook’ and she went ITS YOUR JOB NOW SUCKAAAA and ollied out of the kitchen)
  • And in our old house 
  • (‘The hell house’, we call it, not fondly)
  • that meant using the old school spark lit gas stoves.
  • Now I had been using those stoves for about seven years and had never had a problem
  • Until the day I did have a problem
  • (and in case you don’t know by now, when this stuff happens to me it freaking HAPPENS. ‘how bad do you want it to be?’ the personification of misfortune asks. ‘just fuck me up’, i reply)
  • So it’s 2012, June - which is the coldest time of year for us
  • My brother is outside playing with sticks
  • (He’s 14. He has no excuse. Sometimes he uses sticks from the enormous, carefully cultivated twig collection he kept in the backyard, and sometimes he uses foosball sticks from a set my mother bought and promised to put together but never did, and have long since rusted from my brother using them as makeshift lightsabres and then leaving them outside come rain or shine.)
  • so I go into the kitchen and start to make dinner
  • (Pork and sage ragu)
  • (I’ll never forget)
  • (It was a memorable night)
  • I get out the ingredients and the pots and frying pan
  • I’m wearing at home clothes, which includes a multicolored, fraying cotton top with sequins all over 
  • (It was actually a really nice top. The only reason it got segregated into staying at home clothes was because of a huge tear on the right side)
  • So I go to turn the gas stove on 
  • (As I have done a thousand times before)
  • And to this day I couldn’t tell you if the flames were just really high, or I was standing too close, or if it was the wind factor
  • But for whatever reason, the flame lifts and catches onto the tear in my shirt
  • Out of the corner of my eye, I see the flame is incredibly bright
  • And then I look down and think,
  • Oh.
  • I’m on fire.
  • I try to pat it out
  • Doesn’t work
  • Its been about two seconds of flame on
  • The flames have caught to the rest of my top
  • I fucking 
  • SCREAM
  • I have never in my life, before or since, screamed like that
  • So I’m not thinking much besides FUCK FUCK FUCK STOP DROP ROLL FUCK
  • but for some reason, my ON FIRE fight or flight mentality has time to register
  • DONT RUIN THE FUCKING CARPET
  • i BOLT outside
  • the door is, by some goddamn miracle, open
  • I look like Denethor in return of the king
  • I’m diving for the grass when my brother, terrified, throws a bucket of water at me
  • (THE BUCKET. So we had this pipe on the outside of our house that was corroding and leaking water, and the noise was bothering my mum in a telltale heart kind of way, so she put a bucket out there to catch the water)
  • (Note: it is actually probably a really good idea for you to have a random bucket full of water sitting in your backyard)
  • So I’m half lying, soaking wet, in the grass in my backyard
  • I’m crying
  • My brother’s crying
  • My throat hurts from all the screaming
  • My heart Is thundering like crazy
  • Pretty sure I’m in shock
  • I start laughing a little manically
  • (Kind of sound like the joker)
  • Definitely in shock
  • The neighbors are shouting over the fence asking if everything is alright
  • Their pet geese are sqwaking
  • My mother opens her bathroom window and pokes her head out
  • ‘What is it?!? Is it a snake?!?!’
  • NO, MOTHER
  • I’VE BEEN ON FIRE
  • 'A sNAKE?’ I say, still laughing a little, because really now. We live in Australia, yes, but it’s the goddamn suburbs, everyone knows snakes stick to empty lots and fields
  • So the shock is wearing off and I’m still soaking wet, and my mother is outside now telling the neighbors we’re okay, even though my brother is still crying and I’m deep fried extra crispy
  • She’s telling me to get off the grass
  • I don’t want to get off the grass
  • She wants to have a look
  • I don’t want her to have a look
  • 'you have to get up now okay’
  • I get up 
  • It’s dark out so we go inside and as soon as my mum sees my side she says ‘wee have to go to the hospital’
  • there are a lot of things I’ll do
  • But I fucking hate
  • The 
  • God
  • Damn
  • Hospital

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