this isnt as good as i wanted it to be oh well

kiyumiarashi  asked:

Tell us about the parrots and the zipline? That sounds like the worst thing to happen ever.

Oh boy ok brace yourself cause this entire debacle was just a mess. Imma tell the story of this entire day cause it was just absolute bs 

So I’m in Mexico with my family, yknow, having a nice vacation. My dad doesn’t do heat, so it was just my grandparents, my mom, and me. Keep in mind, I was like, 16 at the time, so this was a few years ago now. 

So, i fully admit, I’m a bit of an adrenaline junkie. Always have been, always will be. So when they said we could go to a massive park that was 90% underground, and the rest was like 300ft in the air, i jumped at the opprotunity.

so we get there and I immediatly beeline for the ziplines. Now, you can’t just do one of these suckers. Once you do one, there’s no going back until you’ve conquered all 12 (or something like that, there was a lot.) It took the better part of two exhausting hours to get through them all. 

So before the parrot issue there was some other bs first. We brought my best friend with me that year, but because we were both too light, we had to go tandum for a lot of the lines, or else we wouldn’t make it across. We’d just get stuck in the middle of the line dangling like a pinata, and no body wants that.

so the first bs comes along. I’m singing the batman theme song to keep my friend calm, because she is not a fan of heights. Like, we are screaming NANANANANANANA BATMAAAAAN at the top of our lungs. And we look ahead and see this massive gap in the trees. Now, we’d gone over a couple cinotes already where we could see the people doing the under ground activities. We figued, hey, let’s laugh at the people doing the river swim that’ll make us feel better. SO we get up on it and my friend starts freak tf out. It wasn’t a cinote.

it was a snake pit.

A massive round, man made snake pit will with hundreds of writhing snakes. They were climbing the walls, even the trees that were like 3ft from our toes. So we’re freaking out like “I don’t wanna be indiana jones i’m too young!!” But we pass it with no problem. We keep going another few second or so, and we see another break in the trees. We’re bracing like cause we assume it was another snake pit. It wasn’t.

It was a crocodile pit.

cue freak out number two.

but we pass it and all is well. Then we come onto the landing strip. We were just starting out so this one was pretty low to the ground. And then i see a weird shape on the grass landing pad.

There was a crocodile on the lawn

we freaked OUT like you wouldn’t believe.

so we’re soaring at this thing and there’s no stopping. We’re waving at the guys who are supposed to catch us with a net like “yo guys u got a coc problem.” and they don’t seem bothered in the slightest. We pass over this thing and it doesn’t move, but i’m 99% sure i tried to kick it. Now we’re free we’re safe and we should be slowing down…why aren’t we slowing down.

we slam into the safety net full force and bounce back a couple feet. When we manage to unhook ourselves we find the two duded pissing themselves laughing.

it was a fake crocodile. i tried to kick a concrete lawn ornament.


onto the parrots.


for this next one my friend was freaking out, as we were over 300ft up. I wanted to go asap so i went attached to my mom instead. At this point, i am alrady 5′8″, and my mom is like 5′5″. so you have this massive beanpole of a child strapped to her tiny mother. So we take off and our combined weight has us absolutely flying down the line. It’s all idealyic and serene, and i’m enjoying my crocodile free cruise. I look down and through a break in the trees i spot the amphibian vehicles going in and out of the cave systems. All good. Right beside them is a pack of leopards sunning themselves on a rock, which is also directly below us. and im thinking “wow, this would a crappy time to fall” immediatly i hear

thunkthunkthunkthunkthunk

my legs hurt all of a sudden. I glance down and see blood dripping down my leg. Mom is screaming/laughing.

we hit a flock of parents mid flight

and they were pissed.

So im screaming and swatting at them, they’re screeching like little feathered demons and pecking t us, some were dangling off my shoe laces, shriekingly like hellions. I still have scars from those suckers. They eventually fly off starnig us down like “dont ever come to our terf again” 

we finished the ziplines without incident after that.

but my day isnt over yet.

we have a wonderful lunch, i get my legs cleaned up, and we make the trek to the amphibian vehicles i saw earlier. We hop in and we’re going through the motions. Up and down, into caves and out. Super cool. Loved it.Then we come to where i saw the leopards.

all the cars in front of us pass without incident.

the second we roll up the leopards perk up and start running after us

cue freakout number 4654783

now, my grandpa is driving and i’m sitting there, with nothing but a mesh door between me and a pack of leopards

“grandpa go faster, we gotta goooo” and he just looks at me all calm like

“i know why they’re here.”

“THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW WHY THEY’RE HERE GO FASTER”

He just calmly, oh so casually, pulls out a hot dog from lunch.I just kinda stare at him like GRANDPA

Obviously i do the smart thing

i grab that stupid hot dog at chuck at the nearest leopard

i hit it in the face

they all fall on each other trying to get a taste of that mustardy goodness and we take that moment to make our escape


and that was my” wth is going on in mexico extravaganza”

and that day didn’t even include the sting ray incident

List of thoughts jack probably had through the years about Eric Bittl

Year One
•He’s frustrating
•oh but he actually wants to get better
•good at hockey but i started off calling him bittle I cant shorten his name now
•pleasant kid
•its cool that more people of the lgbt community are getting into hockey, or at least being open about their sexual preferences
•do you think he would want maple syrup from uncle? Or honey from uncle with bees? Ill ask (proceeds to get into hour conversation about honey vs maple syrup) uh… i still dont know
•(during the summer) uh i miss bittle. He was cute. I think i kinda like him in the romantic sense but maybe i just miss him too much. Even if i did like bittle, who can blame me. Also i shouldnt act on it, hes a teammate and friend and i cant ruin a freindship again this way

Year two
•bittle is really sweet
•bittle would make any boyfriend of his happy, like look at these pies and hes athletic so his legs look so good and his face is cute. I hope his future boyfriend treats him well or the SMH team will have something to say
•bittle looks so good for the camera hes like an angel. A little southern angel.
•senior year is a bit daunting but at least my friends are here and i have bitty’s pies. Im going to miss them. One step at a time though jack.
•i regret yelling at bittle last year its been a while and were friends now but i mean i can make up for it by taking him out for the sugar coffee he likes i suppose, no other reason for taking him out more than shitty
•his legs are so good (x500)
•aw he still isnt used to the cold here bits, my jacket.
•i want to kiss him. Oh wow what an impulsive thought jack keep it together youre probably horny and hes gay but hes a teammate. Hockey over ten minutes of pleasure as mom always says
•im gonna miss bittle i cant believe this is happening oh no… i would give up hockey playing to be by bittle for another year.. oh no i love him and i didnt tell him

Year three
•i love him so much
•[REDACTED]
•bits looks so good in this kitchen.. and in my room…. and my living room…(etc)
•[REDACTED]
•I LOVE HIM (x9999*10^9999999)
•should i buy him these butt shorts or send him a link- oh wait oh my god bitty butt
•im a bitty butt man

Rhys looks haunted.

“Who’s going to tell them?”

He gets nothing but avoided eye contact and silent sips of coffee in return.

“I am completely serious. Someone has to say something and it really shouldn’t be me.”

He had thought that all nine of them of them taking a weekend together in the cabin would be fun–and it had been, until he’d been kept up very late by the half-muffled sounds coming from Elain and Lucien’s room. Not of sex, per say; the cabin provides what soundproofing it can, and it should be enough for all the couples to enjoy themselves without bothering each other, but Elain and Lucien had been doing something… loud. Repeatedly.

Cassian is grinning like a maniac, amused beyond all reason. “Okay, I know Rhys is uncomfortable because he’s never done anything that actually qualifies as kinky, but does anyone else think this is hilarious?”

“I object to that profiling of my sex life, Cassian.”

“You’ve never done anything weirder with Feyre than a blindfold,” Cassian says, eyebrows raised, “I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that, I’m just saying.”

“A blindfold is very kinky,” Rhys asserts, affronted. Mor snorts and he ignores it, focused on Cassian. “What have you two done that’s so much more exciting?”

Nesta, sitting straight as a queen, speaks before Cassian can. “If you answer that question in front of all our friends, Cas, you will never get to do any of those things ever again.”

“We’re off topic,” Feyre announces, setting down her mug of tea decisively. “The question at hand here is who is going to tell Elain and Lucien that spanking is off-limits during their time here.” Silence. She shrugs. “I think it should be Nesta.”

“I’ll do it if you want, but it won’t go well,” Nesta replies flatly. “I have a hard time not slapping the smirk off Lucien’s face on a good day.”

Cassian brandishes a spoonful of oatmeal. “Well, apparently he’s into that, so–”

“Why not Cassian?” Rhys says pointedly, “Since, as he tells us, he’s so knowledgeable about the whole area.”

“That would mortify Elain,” Feyre says, keeping them firmly on track. “It should probably be one of the girls.” Amren, in the corner, lowers her mug of blood to look less than enthused. “It should be Mor or I,” Feyre amends.

Mor gives an casual little shrug. “The noise didn’t bother me, to be honest.”

Rhys frowns in disbelief. “Surely you heard it.”

“We did.”

She does not elaborate, and Rhys suddenly finds it suspicious how quiet Azriel’s been, and how he’s not making eye contact. Cassian seems to have the same thought as he glances between the two of them.

“Mother’s tits,” Cassian says, gaping. “You guys got off on it, didn’t you?”

They don’t respond, but Mor reddens incriminatingly. Cassian’s eyes go wide and he throws his head back in a howl of laugher, over Nesta’s protestations.

Amren is surveying all of them with disdain. “I have been present for some truly insipid conversations between the lot of you but I must say, this one is exceptionally awful.”

“Now THAT’S what I mean by kinky, Rhys” Cassian proclaims, wiping tears from his eyes. “Fucking to the sounds of another couple’s pain play. Cauldron. I’m so proud.”

Rhys looks long-suffering as he turns to Feyre, takes her hand, and kisses it sweetly. “I’m so sorry, darling,” he intones dramatically. “I’ve exposed you to a nest of perverts.”

“Who’s a pervert?” Elain asks with a giggle, choosing this moment to sweep into the kitchen, bright-eyed and with a sated-looking Lucien in her wake. “Are we talking about Cassian again?”

But the whole room has gone silent. Elain falters, looking from one awkward face to the next. “What’s wrong?”

When no one answers, it’s Amren who gets up and says baldly to the two of them, “Everyone from here to Velaris could hear whatever it was you were doing last night. It made these fools uncomfortable, largely. Do with that information what you will.” In the shocked silence following, she puts her empty mug in the sink, unhurried, and heads for the door. “I’m going for a walk far away from this nonsense. If anyone needs me, you are encouraged to reconsider.”

The door slams shut behind her.

“Oh,” Elain says faintly.

Guys help I’m emotional

So I wrote a thing- Its a Langst thing.

It isnt finished and its just in the ‘summarize’ stage but… I dont know if I should expand on it?

Read it under the cut if you wantttt

Keep reading

Langst i thought about late at night im sorry

ok so i don’t have a lot of evidence on this considering i don’t have screenshots and i really need to binge voltron again but im making this off of pure memory so hear me out ok? im porbably looking way too deep into this lmao

I think Lance feeling like he’s a seventh wheel is completely justified. 

Alright so everyone has had that moment where you make a joke and everybody just stay silent like it isnt funny, right? Well if you think about it, Lance has those moments every time he makes a joke or tries to lighten the mood, all of the time. Nobody really laughs at his comments or even pays much attention to them in the first place, only gets glares in return.

Now clearly, Lance usually cracks a joke for comic relief, but apparently no one else finds it funny. For example, he comes out of the pod after healing and everyone is happy to see him.  But as soon as he starts talking, people just groan and act like, “Oh, it’s that Lance, he hasn’t changed one bit,” and act clearly annoyed. Even his idol, Shiro, acts fed up with his shit- which in some cases is justified, but most times, it shouldnt matter, he’s just trying to be funny lmao.  Lance probably feels, unwanted, out of place, like he is the fifth wheel because no one really accepts him, and everyone finds him annoying.

Its not even just with Lance’s sense of humor, too.

People always think his ideas are stupid.

For example, the iconic scene where he keeps Keith from running straight into the danger that could get both of them killed, he suggests his alternate idea. Keith- who usually thinks Lance’s ideas are dumb, automatically jumps to the conclusion that his idea is going to be. Before he can argue, though, he works it out and sees that maybe Lance’s alternate route is a good idea. 

People disagree with the way he wants to complete something, in season 2, Lance comes up with the idea to form Voltron in a situation and everyone vouches against it, however 30 seconds later, they end up forming Voltron, like he said, anyway. 

Another reason, people also think little of him, they underestimate him, and that all starts with the Garisson. He was told that the only reason he ever got at his fighter pilot class was because his rival was kicked out of school, and without that he shouldnt have even been there. Again, he feels out of place, and like he doesnt belong. Then, his idol, his hero, Shiro, shows up, and when he finally feels like he has a purpose, like he could accomplish something amazing, but then Keith shows up. Even then, he doesnt give up, he is like “um excUSE ME BITCH I CALLED SAVING SHIRO FIRST” And once again, he doesnt want his rival that always beat him to do that once again. 

And again in season two, there’s clearly favoritism happening between Keith and Shiro, and Lance is jealous of course. Like, he finally gets to meet and work with his idol, and when he wants to go with Shiro on a mission, SHiro chooses Keith over him. Man, I wonder why he’s so overdramatic about it. Its not like he was treated the same damn way at the gaRISSON OR ANYTHING NAHH

No, but clearly, he has an inferiority complex, especially when it comes to keith, because he knows hes better than him in every way.

People in the show also deny that he has any good skills, and even he himself starts to believe it, when sorta venting to the yupper. (i die a little inside whenever i see it)

I loved it when shiro gave him praise for once because it was specifically for him and not directed at the whole time. It was good job LANCE

And honestly the pride on his face was so heartwarming like omg thank you shiro for ackowledging him

im probably going way off track but anyway 

daily dose of what its like in my mind 24/7 lmao

I hope in season 3 they kinda bring his insecurities up again as a sort of conflict i mean- with Keith possibly becoming Black Paladin, Lance is probably gonna be hella jealous and im sure thats gonna instigate a fight between them, and now theres not really a mediator. So. Fantastic…..

Guys i feel like a lot fo stuff goes right back to shiro, how lance probably aspires to be like him, or be good in his eyes and therefore be good for the rest of the team but hes having this inferiority complex because he feels unappreciated. Like hes just that annoying guy they dont really need and they could replace him if they wanted to, and keeping all of those thoughts hidden or masked by this confident facade is like

lance youre gonna break at some point 

I hope lance gets the recognition and the acknowledgement he deserves in season 3 i swear he better not be tossed under the rug.

17408 Fansign:

- Mark said he had the ahgabong constantly on for 2-3 days
MK: it was on constantly I changed the battery before i went but its gone now

-  Jinyoung said because he didn’t play the games well yesterday, Youngjae made fun of him

-  Yugyeom said he wasn’t able to go to the Arbor Day event cuz he was sick F: dont be sick i was worried 

-  Youngjae said that he thinks that he will go back to black hair soon

-  Jinyoung said there isnt any perfume he is using lately

-  F: Why did u wear sth inside ur shirt for Paradise on GOT the stage JY: cuz the studio was cold & I didnt want to satisfy u guys’ desire

-  F: what r u doing for ur solo vapp? I heard the concept is sth ur not good at YJ: yup I didn’t decide yet what should i do?  F: (as a joke) driving? YJ: oh (to the staff) can I get my driving license for my vapp?

-  JB said his fav song in this album is Paradise

-  Mark said he didn’t eat things like bugs but he ate sth like a chicken and it was tasty that he ate in the jungle was delicious

-  They said they filmed Real GOT7 today before they came to the fansign

-  Yugyeom said on the days he plays bowling well he scores around 100 and usually around 70s

-  Fan asked if the cats get along well JB: they get along well they don’t fight for ranking Nora is top and Kunta and Odd is around the same

-  Jinyoung said for Zepp there isn’t a solo stage and it’s undecided for Yoyogi and Korean concert is also undecided

-  Fan asked Mark what he ate at the jungle Mark said he didn’t eat and that he was bitten by a bug so he had a bump on his face

-  WOLO will be release in a different album not on a concert album but the time is undecided yet

-  Bambam said his cafe in Thailand will open this month

-  Fan told Jackson that lot of fans were surprised from the photo Mama Wang uploaded cuz Jackson looked like his brother but he said he doesnt

-  Mark said it was hard sleeping that he really slept outdoors F: what about food did u really eat insects? MK: i didn’t eat it but it was fun

-  F: if you get a chance do you have thoughts on doing a musical? YJ: i want to do it

translation

guys but listen

  • so after the foxes win everyone starts paying attention to them
  • suddenly the press is all over their social media and wants them on talk shows and panels all the time
  • and they do it bc they could use some good publicity tbh and they rly need a bigger team
  • one day allison (her and neil are bffs now dont fight me on this i s2g) is watching tv w neil and he is rly into what’s happening and she pulls out her sc and starts taking a video
  • she holds the camera so both their faces show and goes “hey neil” and and when he starts to look over she kisses him on the cheek (allison reynolds does not give 2 shits about neil’s scars and she’s gonna show every1)
  • the video ends just as neil smiles
  • ppl on the internet lose their shit !! this video is everywhere
  • allison moved on from seth and NEIL JOSTEN is dating a teammate
  • so they go on a lowkey trashy talk show (and everyone warns neil to keep his mouth shut)
  • the lady is like “so neil i hear ur in a relationship with one of ur teammates”
  • all the foxes hold their breath he’s too unpredictable
  • wymack takes a drink
  • andreil arent hiding anything really they just dont do pda so neil is like “oh ya we like to keep our relationship private tho lets talk about exy”
  • and she is like “well it didnt look like you were keeping it private when allison posted this on her sc” and she plays the video
  • all the foxes start laughing except kevin, andrew, and aaron
  • allison is literally losing her shit and matt has trouble breathing for a few seconds
  • and the lady is like “…um did i miss something haha”
  • and nicky takes pity on her “we’re just laughing bc neil and allison are definitely not dating sry”
  • and she is like “???????????? but ur still dating a teammate”
  • kevin quickly redirects the conversation back to exy bc they do not have the time to sit here and talk about andreil’s love life jfc
  • she cant get anything else out of them
  • so ppl are just losing their minds for like a week trying to figure out who neil is dating when renee posts a pic on instagram of them w the caption “neil drove me to lunch and paid for my meal” ((they actually talk about andrew lol))
  • and now every1 is like omg !! this is it!!
  • so the foxes are doing a panel and they get through a decent amount of exy related questions and then
  • “i have a question for neil. would u like to comment on ur relationship w renee walker??”
  • “id like to comment that my relationship w renee is that we r good friends and that id like to talk about exy now”
  • they cant get anything else out of anyone
  • so now ppl rly confused bc neil is a Straight Man and only Dan is left but her and Matt are very publicly dating 
  • what kind of sexual deviancy is this ??????????? is neil josten engaging in some kind of polyamorous relationship with his teammates?????? no one can answer
  • ok so next talk show 
  • this woman barely gets the introductions out before she leaps right in
  • “neil are you currently in a relationship with dan wilds despite the fact that she is dating matt boyd?” 
  • neil has had enough
  • this boy just wants to play exy hes too old for this
  • he just stares at her
  • he cant even speak like who is this woman??
  • he didnt ask to dismantle heteronormativity in america but apparently he has to
  • “i dont have a gf”
  • she stares back
  • “are you no longer in a relationship with one of your teammates as you previously stated?????”
  • the foxes are getting worried neil might kill her
  • it’s getting very hard not to laugh
  • neil stares a little longer
  • “i dont have a gf
  • the host’s eyes widen
  • the audience goes silent
  • “am i to understand that neil josten, breakout exy player of the year, has just come out??”
  • ppl start clapping (some ppl boo and nicky starts to flip them off before kevin grabs his hand)
  • this woman has just gotten one of the best stories of her life on live television
  • she cant stop smiling
  • once again kevin steers the conversation back to exy (even when he isnt insulting ppl why does neil always have to cause problems ??) and doesnt let her go back
  • there’s wild speculation about which boy he’s dating bc it doesnt makes sense ?????/
  • aaron has been seen kissing katelyn after games
  • kevin and thea are now officially dating
  • nicky is v vocal about his bf (like 12 times a day on twitter)
  • matt and dan are definitely still dating
  • andrew is not capable of relationships ????? and him and neil hate each other ???/
  • the answer comes 3 weeks later
  • they are all in the girls’ room for a movie night
  • everyone but renee is slightly drunk
  • allison and renee take a cute pic
  • in the background u can kinda see neil asleep on andrew who in a rare display of affection actually has a hand in his hair
  • allison notices right before she posts it on instagram but andreil have already said that they arent rly trying to hide their relationship they just arent going to go out of their way just for crazy talk show hosts
  • and DAMN
  • the way they are leaning against each other is unmistakable (esp in light of recent news) 
  • neil josten and andrew minyard are in a relationship?????? have been in a relationship?????? the ppl need confirmation
  • neil’s twitter (that he uses to retweet exy players and occasionally start fights w them) is being blown up
  • finally he goes on twitter and makes his first original tweet 
  • “Andrew is my boyfriend.”
  • twitter literally explodes and “andreil” is trending for a week
Love Me Lose Me

A gift for the lovely and talented @bunny-yams !!!

I wrote this in an hour, so please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors.


The smell of alcohol was heavy on Thomas’s breath as he stumbled through the doorway of his and Alexander’s home drunkenly, his vision hazy. He slammed the door shut behind him, uncaring of the rather loud bang it made, the noise resonating through the house. He walked in as straight a line he could, which was rather crooked, due to his current state, and into Alexander’s office.

Alexander sat at his desk, hunched over his laptop and typing furiously, eyes shining with reflected light from the screen. The document that he was currently working on was nearly twenty pages long by now, each dark word on the digital paper having been written in rapid succession. This, of course, meant that Alexander had not left his at-home office in two days, as he was notorious for doing.

“Hey, Lex…” Thomas slurred, moving over to Alexander and resting his arms on top of the other man’s head, leaning over him. “Wanna come to bed? I’ll make it worth your while…”

“Hi, Thomas.” Alexander replied, not particularly caring about his boyfriend’s drunken state. “I have to work on this, I can’t come to bed. Maybe later? I have to have this done by next week, and I really don’t want to procrastinate on it.”

“You never procrastinate, Lex, you’re you,” Thomas said, leaning down to whisper in the other man’s ear. “If you come to bed, I can make you feel good, Lex. Really good… Come to bed, Lex…”

“No,” Alexander responded, not willing to put up with Thomas’s antics at this hour. “I have to work, and you know that. Go to bed without me. I need to do this.”

“Work, work, work, all you care about is work. Work can wait. You’re already so far along, why can’t you just come to bed, Le-”

“Thomas, no! I’m not going to come to bed, I’m not going to have sex with you, and I am not going to stop working! You need to understand that I have important things to take care of!” Alexander interjected, frustrated, and pulled his gaze away from the computer.

“So, I’m not important? Is that what you’re saying? You care more about your fucking work than you do about me? Huh?”

“Thomas…That’s- that’s not what I meant…” Alexander stuttered, attempting to clear up any misunderstandings caused by his poorly-chosen words.

“Then why’d you say it like it was?”

“Thomas, I just have more pressing issues than going to bed with you right now, it’s not personal, it’s just-”

“It’s just that you care so fucking much about your work. So much that you just forget about your boyfriend. That’s fine. Fucking great, even. I’ll just find someone else to share my bed with, then. I don’t need you.” He declared, turning around and leaving the room quickly, footsteps heavy against the wooden floor.

“Thomas, wait!” Alexander said hurriedly, realizing his mistake. “I didn’t mean-” He tried to explain, but was cut off by the front door slamming shut loudly. Alexander raced over to the door, and nearly collapsed as he watched Thomas step into a cab and be driven off, too late for Alexander to stop him.

He put his face in his hands and ran his fingers through his hair regretfully. He really fucked up this time, didn’t he? He could feel wet tears begin to trail down his face as the weight of the situation fully dawned on him. He had essentially told Thomas that he didn’t care about him, that some stupid report was more important than the man he loved… Yes, he really had fucked up.


Alexander drove up into the driveway nervously, looking up at the home he and Thomas shared amidst the pandemonium of the city. He parked the car, taking in a deep breath as he did so. He could do this. He could walk inside their home and beg for forgiveness. Thomas hadn’t come back home the previous night, and he’d been in meetings all day in a separate building, so Alexander was unable to try and speak with him. Then, to top it all off, Alexander had been forced to stay an extra three hours longer because of some new case that was barely worth the effort.

Stepping out of the car, he ascended the few stairs to their front door and closed his eyes, breathing slowly and opened the again, bringing his key up to unlock the door. When he reached for the doorknob, however, the door creaked open on its own, already unlocked and ajar. Alexander cautiously stepped over the threshold, shoving his keys back into his pocket.

He gently closed the door behind him, careful not to slam it, unlike Thomas had been the night before. He felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes as he remembered the harsh slam of the wooden door last night as Thomas stormed out when Alexander had told him…had told him that…that he…That wasn’t important at the moment. What was important was finding Thomas and apologizing. It didn’t matter if Alexander had to beg on his hands and knees.

Soft laughter sounded from their bedroom and Alexander lifted his head at the noise. Thomas must be in there, he thought, and headed towards the room. Pushing open the door, he felt his heart skip a beat as he took in the sight before him.

Thomas laid in bed next to his closest friend, James Madison, who was evidently more than Thomas’s close friend- at least, now he was. They were both fully undressed, laying in eachother’s arms beneath a thin blanket. The room was thick with the scent of sex and sweat, and Alexander nearly screamed as his mind processed the what he was seeing.

“Oh, Alexander!” Thomas noted boredly, as if it was a simple fact and not his boyfriend catching him cheating. “You’re home. I warned you, didn’t I?”

Alexander felt a tear trail down his face, still in shock. “Thomas, y-you-”

“I what?” Thomas asked condescendingly, cutting Alexander off. “I had amazing, mind-blowing sex with James? I had sex with someone else in our bed? I don’t really give a fuck if you’re crying or not? I’m just following up on my promise from last night? Because the answer to all of those is a definite yes, Alexander. I told you that I’d find someone else to share my bed with, so I did.”

“Thomas, what’s going on?” James asked, slowly emerging from the depths of sleep. “Why are you shouting?”

“Nothing, Jemmy, it’s nothi-”

“It’s not nothing!” Alexander interjected, eyes wet with tears. “You’re cheating on me, and you’re acting like it’s nothing! I trusted you, and I wanted to make things right, but apparently you don’t want to…”

“Why is Alexander here?” James asked, gaze switching between Thomas and Alexander as he sat up, pulling away from the other man. “You told me that you two had broken up, Thomas!”

“Then I guess he lied to you! We didn’t break up, and I get to come home to see my boyfriend cheating on me!” Alexander half-sobbed, half-shouted, not making any effort to hide his emotions.

“Thomas, you fucking bastard!” James yelled, leaving the bed as quickly as possible and pulling his boxers on. “You knew I wanted you, you fucking knew, and then you go and tell me that you and Alex broke up so that you can what? Cheat on your boyfriend with me? Get revenge for something miniscule? You fucking disgust me, Thomas. I’m leaving.” He said, pulling on his pants and grabbing his shirt, heading for the door and stopping as he looked at Alexander in front of him, sobbing heavily. “Alexander…I’m so sorry…” He muttered before leaving the room, and soon enough, the house.

Alexander stared at Thomas through blurry eyes, his cheeks stained with tears. The taller man lay in the bed, naked save for a sheet covering his waist and everything below it.“Thomas…” Alexander spoke softly, wrapping his arms around himself. “How could you do this to me?”

Thomas let his gaze fall on Alexander, focusing on him. “We had a fight. And it looks like I won, Alex.” He stated plainly, sitting up and resting his back against the headboard.

“Is this actually about that stupid fight, Thomas? I-I was going to make it up to you, was going to apologize and beg for you to talk to me again, even if it was just to tell me to go away. I couldn’t sleep last night, I was so upset at what you would say to me. Couldn’t imagine a life where you really despised me for what I did. Well, I could, but I didn’t want it, Thomas. Not ever.”

“Alexander, you said-”

“I hadn’t slept in three days! And you had been gone all day, I missed you, and I wasn’t thinking straight, and I was lashing out at you, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I…I had no idea, Alex, I-”

“But I guess you aren’t, huh? You didn’t stay awake all of last night terrified that the your boyfriend would never love you again. I did that. You were off fucking James Madison. Why? Because you were mad?”

“Yes, Alex, but-”

“But nothing! You didn’t have a good reason for it then, and you sure as hell don’t have a good reason for it now! I’m leaving, Thomas. I’ll be back for my stuff later. Goodbye.”

“No, Alex, wait!” Thomas shouted, nearly jumping off the bed and grabbing onto Alexander’s wrist tightly. “Please, don’t leave me…I fucked up, I know I did, but please, Alex, I need you…” He begged, staring up at Alexander with wide, fearful eyes.

Alexander yanked his hand away from Thomas’s own, and stepped back, staring at Thomas with a look that could not be mistaken for anything other than pure spite as he spat, “You didn’t need me earlier. It looked more like you needed James.”

And with a pivot and a slamming of the door, Alexander was gone.

And Thomas was alone.

He would remain that way for quite some time, his only company being the sobs that echoed through the room.

things to consider; agender magnus chase

• magnus has a pretty good concept of gender and identity. he always has, at least, when it comes to others - reading himself has always been a little harder for him.

• he imagines he’s probably a dude. people have called him a dude up til now, so, theyre probably right. he never really thinks too much on it

• until alex makes a silly comment about “getting together ever thursday to question our gender like a team”. magnus laughs and it makes her smile, but it sticks in his head for a long time. he starts to really wonder what makes someone a man and what makes someone a woman.

• he thinks it might be rude to ask alex, but he cant think of anyone else who would have a better handle on it. he doesnt ask her anyways - he goes to sam. “what makes you a woman?” he asks. she goes quiet for a moment, like she isnt sure. “strength” she answers. “the thing inside me that makes me a woman is my strength.” she shrugs. “its different for everyone.” this wasnt the answer he was expecting and it doesnt help much, but hes glad he asked anyways.

• he goes to hearth next, asks him what makes him a man. hearth signs “rebellion” lazily, then shows the edge of what magnus thinks is a tank top under his shirt. magnus makes a face of confusion and hearth signs “binder.” he shakes his head. “i wont be his sweet little daughter. never.” magnus brings his hand towards his face without thinking about it, signs his thanks. “you always surprise me” he says out loud, almost to himself. hearth shrugs. “i know” he signs.

• magnus is at a loss. he knew gender was confusing, but this? this is ridiculous. neither answer helped him feel anyway towards the other, and maybe that was just the thing - he didnt feel particularly like a boy or a girl. he’s about to go ask blitzen when alex cuts him off.

• “okay, maggie. you and me. we’re settling this.” he doesnt understand what she means until she crosses her arms and says much more quietly “samirah told me.” she tucks a lock of shockingly green hair behind her ear, much more withdrawn than usual. “are you asking for yourself or-” magnus nods immediately. she seems to relax a bit, tenseness leaving her muscles. “oh… i mean. you can talk to me, if you want. if anyone can help you with gender, its me - ive got two of them.” he laughs a little. “practically makes me an expert.” he grins at her and she grins back. they leave for a more private location.

“i just dont get it” magnus admits when they get there. they’re sitting side by side in alex’s room, enjoying the wide open space. theres something sacred and secret about it. something they share. “is it possible to have no gender?” he continues. “is it possible to just… be nothing?”

alex blinks rapidly. “well, sure.”

his head turns towards her quickly, eyes wide. “seriously?”

alex shrugs and says again, “sure. i mean, you arent ‘nothing’ - that would make you agender. neither man nor woman, not nonbinary, and not fluid like me. but not ‘nothing’.”

magnus falls backwards, letting the back of his head touch the ground. he’s staring up but his eyes aren’t seeing. “wow. im.. that? agender?”

alex lays next to him, some of her hair falling over his face. he absent-mindedly blows it away from his mouth and she laughs. “if you think so. you can always… i dunno, try it out and see if its right. i used to think i was only a girl.” she shrugs again. “its okay to be wrong about stuff like this. you find your way to yourself eventually.”

theyre quiet for a moment. then he says “youre being very nice to me right now.”

when he turns his head to see her, he sees shes cracked a wicked smile. “im just warming you up. that way youll never see it coming.”

he raises an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth lifting just a little. “see what coming?”

alex hums. “it.”

they go back to staring at the expanse of sky above them, both smiling. magnus wasnt sure how he expected the day to go, but this wasnt it. he feels… good. he feels like something has shifted, something that was always meant to be has come to be.

magnus has never noticed it before, but for the first time, things just feel right.

anonymous asked:

FAFLAMFLMA COMBINE THESE 2: 📱🍆 - ur lube ♥

📱 → ❝I sent you a picture of my dick. Please respond.❞

🍆 → ❝Stop sending me eggplant emojis when I’m trying to study.❞


credit: x.

COUNT → 2.059

GENRE → smut

PAIRING → jungkook | reader

WARNINGS → graphic sex | light spanking | explicit language 


Your phone vibrated for the tenth time in the last sixty seconds. Frustrated, you brought your face out of your textbook and angrily pressed your thumb down on your home button, unlocking your phone to open your messaging app.

JUNGKOOK [11:02:53]: I sent you a picture of my dick. Please respond.

You had already opened it and looked at his dick at least two times now, but you had a big test tomorrow and really couldn’t waste precious time studying thinking about how you wanted Jungkook to come over and use that dick.

Again, you left him on read.

Jungkook knew where you lived and he had been at your dorm more times than you cared to admit, but some part of you was hopeful he would leave you alone. Then again, his ego was so fragile, especially when it came to his dick.

Your phone vibrated again and you looked at your notifications to see Jungkook was just sending you the eggplant emoji over and over again until you replied.

YOU [11:04:10]: Stop sending me eggplant emojis when I’m trying to study.

You let out a groan and turned your phone to silent so that the notifications wouldn’t distract you anymore. Looking to your computer screen at the syllabus, you flipped to the page in your book indicated by the study guide.

“A morpheme is…” you began to read aloud to yourself, but you were still distracted. Your eyes darted to your phone not even making a sound. It was almost more distracting when you knew someone was trying to talk to you. Shaking your head, you tried to focus. “A morpheme is used when…”

You slammed your textbook closed, irritated because he’d broken your focus. With a defeated sigh, you looked at your phone and your eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets at the last text you got from Jungkook.

JUNGKOOK [11:07:35]: You’re in so much trouble. Take off your pants.

Swallowing, you stood up from your desk, looking over at the door anxiously. He sent that text two minutes ago and you knew it only took him five to get to your dorm’s parking lot by car. You only had five minutes to prepare yourself.

And you knew he didn’t appreciate you ignoring his texts.

Keep reading

after ep 4 and the ‘best of islam’ clip, skam is still only showin the negative with islam im lmao what does julie think this is gonna teach her non-muslim/white audience??? that sana shouldn’t feel angry and superstitious abt people?? that if she stops looking for hate then she wont find it?? as if when she stops lookin for racism its just gonna randomly stop for her. idek??? whats goin on here??? this muslim rep is horrendous and im sayin this as a non-muslim but as someone who follows another religion.

skam this season has shown muslims to be angry, paranoid, cold, lonely, sad, out of place. they made sana feel the worst kinds of misery, feel extremely isolated to the point where they villianized her twice, first with the insta account and then emailing willhell, just bc she ‘wouldn’t open up.’

im not sayin muslims cant feel any of these emotions or go through terrible times, but this is a show supposed to entertain, educate and relate to a teenage audience, an audience which is already filled with misconceptions abt islam.

as faiza once said in one of her posts, there needs to be a balance, a balance between the good and the bad. show sana feeling lonely and isolated and frustrated and angry and in pain. but also show her overcome that. let sana speak, let sana’s friends speak, let them all talk about what’s been happening, not throw it under the rug and go “pheww well.. offscreen they all made up now onto the next plot!” like… you seriously put that much pain onto sana for us to just… never get to see a conversation between her and the girls??? and listen, idec if this conversation comes this week or next. it is wayyy too late and unrealistic. idc if everything is tied up nicely by the end, none of us will ever forget the bitterness we felt throughout the whole journey with the only reprive being small happy moments that still didn’t make sense in the first place bc its lack of continuity.

lastly, what i wanted to say before i really trailed off: we saw sana in the ‘best of islam’ clip weeks back. the way sana spoke abt believing in Allah and how much peace and stability praying brings to her was basically the purest, most important clip of the season tbh. that’s what religion is, that’s what islam is and that’s what islam brings into sana’s life.

its absolutely normal and healthy for sana to question certain things in islam, to question things that she’s not too sure about. but to show someone as strong in her faith as sana is, to show her absolutely miserable and for islam to be the reason why all these shitty things are happening… to throw all these obstacles at her which in turn makes the audience feel like “ugh this islam is turnin out to not be bringin anythin good into sana’s life, yousef was right, all it brings is hate and conflict and sana can solve all this if she just speaks up!” is a horrible msg. this season literally shows more abt how islam is 'restricting’ sana and making her 'cold and condescending’ oh and let’s not forget… a 'bitch.’ ….

its as if islam is what’s bringing all this pain onto sana when it was mainly other people’s ignorance, racism and intolerance. as if islam isnt what’s giving sana true peace when she prays, gives her guidelines to follow that makes her remember to be a good person, makes her feel like she means something bc of her relationship with her faith. there’s just no balance this season, none at all. religion is not inherently a bad thing which only causes you pain bc trust me if islam only brought sana heartache and pain, i dont think she would still want to be a practicing muslim. but that’s the thing: islam isnt at fault for bringing her all this pain but that’s exactly the opposite and toxic point the audience comes to.

almost everybody has something within their religion that may conflict with their values and/or lifestyle. but religion is ultimately abt your own relationship and connection to g-d. and in sana’s case, islam is shown to be… not great for her bc she’s struggling (bc sure its not her environment thats makin her suffer most. sure jan)

lol anyways this is mainly unedited im just pissed. what a shame this season has turned out to be.

ALRIGHT Y’ALL BUCKLE UP BECAUSE, THANKS TO THIS POST ABOUT LANCE, I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST PARALLEL OF ALL TIME

The post ends with the line “it takes a lot of courage to stand up to your friend and your hero like that.”

AND YA’LL

Y

A

L

L

Keith and Lance are Harry and Neville

(more under the cut because this is long as fuck)

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anonymous asked:

can you do another one were tony is deaged but the other avengers are too? and only tony is a good boy and the rest isnt.. Peter takes care of Tony and loves it

“Fury what do you want?” asks Peter when he gets the call.

Its not uncommon for Fury to call them, because lately the avengers work together with guardians.

Peter isn’t so sure about the avengers. He doesn’t like most of them. They don’t seem like a team and even less like a family.

But he likes Tony.

“We have a situation here.” answers Nick shortly and then ends the call. Peter groans.

“Rocket!” he yells and a moment later Rocket shows up.

“Aye.”

“I’m going back to earth. Wait for my call. I think its better if i go first and see whats up.” explains Peter and when Rocket nods, he starts searching for his suit.

He hates jobs on earth.

*

“You are kidding me.” says Peter when he stands in the communal living room of the stark tower.

“Do i look like i make jokes?” asks Phil Coulson and Peter shakes his head.

On Coulson’s lap is a little child that looks like a mini Barton. Oh god.

“How many are now.. childs?” asks Peter and looks at Romanoff who sits next to Coulson. She can’t be older than three years.

“Agent Barton, Agent Romanoff, Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes and Stark.” says Coulson and Peter sighs.

“And what do you want me to do?” asks Peter because they can’t be serious.

Fury coughs.

“You are on babysitting duty. Agent Coulson takes Clint and Natasha in his care. Mr. Wilson already has Rogers and Barnes. And you get the grand prize. Stark.” says Fury and he even turns around.

“Wait. Why should i babysit him?” asks Peter. He isn’t good with kids. He could…kill him.

“Because i just said so. You can all stay here in the Tower. Agent Hill has already some rooms for all of you. In every room are also some things for the … kids.”

And with that Fury is gone.

“Is he kidding me?” asks Peter again and Coulson laughs.

“Have fun. I bet Stark is crazy as kid.” says Coulson and leaves with Clint and Natasha.

Great.

*

“Jarvis where is Tony?” asks Peter and he sighs. Jarvis takes him up to his room where Tony should be.

If he is being honest, he is afraid. What if Tony is really crazy?

Peter opens the door to his and Tonys room for the next days and sees that Tony sits on the ground. He is already dressed in a onesie with little stars on it.

“Tony?” asks Peter and at that the toddler looks up.

“Do you know who i am?” asks Peter than and Tony still looks at him. He doesn’t seem to recognize him.

“Papa!” says Tony then and holds his hands up. Peter shakes his head.

“Oh no I’m not your Papa, I’m Peter.” answers Peter and oh god. He wants to go home.

Tony looks down sadly. He even sniffles.

“Whats wrong?” asks Peter and kneels down beside Tony.

“N-nobody wants Tony.” whispers Tony then and he sniffles again. A few tears drop on the carpet.

“Oh sweetie. Thats not true.” answers Peter and he feels bad for Tony.

“All kids are gone. Everybody got a family but me.” says Tony and Peter sighs.

So Tony can’t remember who he is and he can’t remember that Steve and the others are normally adults, too. Great. But he saw how Sam picked Steve and Bucky and how Coulson took Clint and Natasha. They left Tony here alone.

“No no! I’m here to take care of you!” says Peter and smiles gently. Tony gasps at that.

“Why?” asks Tony and Peters heart breaks.

“Because i really like you.” whispers Peter and Tony looks up with his big brown eyes.

“Oh.” says Tony and Peter smiles.

“So Uncle Peter will take care of you, would you like that?” asks Peter and Tony giggles.

“Yes please.” he says sweetly and Peter coos. God he is so cute. So Peter picks him up and looks around.

“Well where do we start…”

*

“And how is it, Quill? Bet Stark is the real horror.” says Coulson the next morning when Peter sits in the kitchen.

“Fine.” grumbles Peter back. It makes him angry that they all talk about Tony like that.

“Noooooo.” screams Natasha now when Coulson wants to give her some from her breakfast. Clint is already throwing his food on the ground. Peter laughs.

He deserves that.

Peter finishes his breakfast and stands up. He needs to get Tony so his little one can eat something too.

“Good morning baby.” says Peter when he enters their room. Tony is still laying in bed. Fast asleep.

Peter chuckles and then goes over to him. Carefully he strokes Tonys dark curls and Tonys huffs a bit. He sucks lazily on his pacifier.

“You need to wake up bambino.” says Peter and Tony rubs his eyes sleepily.

“Petey?” asks Tony muffled around his pacifier. Peter chuckles.

“Yes and i have food for you!” says Peter and at that Tony opens his eyes and spits the pacifier out.

“Nanas?” he asks and Peter nods.

“Of course there are bananas.” says Peter and picks Tony up.

“But i need to change you first.” announces Peter and Tony groans.

“No!” he says but its not angry. Peter kisses him on the cheek.

“Oh yes. And you can even pick your outfit.” answers Peter and Tony gasps.

“Wanna be a g-g…. man from the moon like you!” says Tony and he seems really excited.

“A guardian. Of course i see what i can find.” says Peter and Tony smiles at him. He is such a cute child. How could Coulson and Fury only think that he would be horrible.

*

15 Minutes later Peter carries Tony into the kitchen. Its a mess. He can hear Bucky and Steve screaming. And Natasha is still crying. Wonderful.

“Loud.” says Tony and puts his hands over his ears.

Peter nods.

“I know. Its okay hm? We need to get some food in that little tummy.” says Peter and tickles Tony.

Tony giggles loudly at that. He wears a onesie with a spaceship on it and Peter wrote “Little Guardian” on the front. Tony loved it.

“Hungry Petey.” says Tony and Peter puts him in a highchair. Tony looks a bit confused at that, but he doesn’t say anything.

“And what do we say, sweetie?” asks Peter and takes Tonys little bowl.

“Please.” says Tony sweetly and Peter gives him the bowl. Tony takes the spoon and starts eating. Peter smiles.

“How did you do that?” asks Sam now and Peter grins.

“How did i do what?” asks Peter back and he sees how shyly Tony looks at Sam. He even squirms in his seat.

“He is so polite and….good.” says Sam and Peter glares at him.

“Of course he is! And whats up with your ….boys?” asks Peter and Sam shrugs.

“They don’t sleep. They won’t eat. I don’t know.” says Sam and Peter could help him. But he doesn’t want to.

Tony uses this moment to spill some of his pudding. It falls on his onesie and Tony looks down.

“Oh no.” he whispers and in the next moment he cries. Sam grins a bit. But Peter rushes over to him.

“Hey no. Don’t cry, bambino.” says Peter and Tony struggles not to cry even harder.

“S-sorry. I didn’t mean t-to.” says Tony and his underlip wobbles. Peter shushes him and kisses his curls.

“Don’t worry. Its just a onesie, hm? I will change you. Nothing happened.” whispers Peter and Tony sniffles.

“R-really?” he asks and Peter nods.

“Course. Everything is alright. I’m gonna clean you up and if you want i can feed you?” asks Peter and Tony gasps.

“I’m too big for that!” he says and Peter laughs.

“How old are you exactly?” asks Sam who still stands with them.

“Two and 5 months.” says Tony and he holds up two fingers. Peter coos again. He is so sweet. Peter takes a washcloth and wipes Tony a bit cleaner.

“And you aren’t too big for that. If you want it then i’ll do it.” says Peter and Tony nods shyly.

“Please.” he says again and Sam smiles.

“God he is the cutest baby on the world.” says Sam and Peter nods.

“He really is.” he says and holds the spoon up for Tony. Tony eats from the spoon, rubs at his tummy and smiles again.

Yep. The cutest baby ever.

*

“Tony i have a surprise for you.” says Peter when they are in their room again. He had found it in one of the cardboards.

“For me?” asks Tony and looks excited.

“Of course. Because you are so good.” says Peter and holds the stuffed animal up. Its a little Raccoon.

Tonys eyes sparkle.

Peter holds the stuffed animal out for him, but Tony doesn’t take it.

“You can have it. You aren’t too big for that either.” says Peter and this time Tony takes it. He cuddles it agains his cheek.

“Its so fluffy!” he gasps and kisses the raccoon on the nose. Peter smiles down at him.

“We could pick a name together, hm?” asks Peter and kneels down beside Tony.

Tony frowns and seems to think really hard about that. Peter strokes his curls again.

“What about Rocket?” asks Peter and laughs. Tony shakes his head.

“ ’s not a good name for a ra-ra-ccon?” Tony tries the word and Peter has to laugh again.

“No you are right what was Uncle Peter thinking.”

“Eddy?” asks Tony then and Peter laughs.

“Thats a very good name.” he says and Tony nods very seriously.

“Hello Eddy. I’m Tony.” says Tony then and shakes the stuffed animals hand. Peter can’t help it he need to film this.

*
“Do you want to play with the others?” asks Peter a few hours later, when they are all in the living room. Bucky and Steve are playing with some cars. Natasha is sleeping on the couch and Clint is busy playing with some dolls.

Tony shrugs. He sits on Peters lap and cuddles with Eddy.

“I bet it will be fun.” says Peter and carefully sets Tony down.

“Otay.” whispers Tony around his pacifier and he crawls over to Clint..

“Can i play?” he asks Clint and puts Eddy next to him.

“No.” says Clint and he even pushes Eddy away. Before Peter can react to that, Tony nods. His underlip wobbles but he takes Eddy and kisses his nose.

“ ’s okay Eddy.” he whispers and then looks at Bucky and Steve.

“We don’t want to play with you, Baby!” says Steve and this time Tony sits down and cries. Peter is there in a second.

“Wilson! Coulson!” he says angrily and picks Tony up.

“Steve we don’t say something like that!” says Sam and he seems angry at that, too. Coulson takes Clints dolls away.

In exactly ten seconds Clint and Steve start crying. And a moment later Bucky starts crying, too.

Peter groans.

“Hey its okay bambino. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Tony sniffles. It takes Peter half an hour to calm him down.

*

Later that night he comes with some dinner for him and Tony in their room and sees the little one on the ground with Eddy.

“ ’s okay Eddy. Nobody liked me before.” says Tony and wipes some tears away.

Peter nearly throws the food on the ground.

*

The next days he spends all his time with Tony. And he always makes sure that Tony feels loved.

Tony giggles the whole week. He is always happy and never says no or breaks something. He is just a cute little boy who needs attention.

The guardians show up on friday and Tony adores them.

“What is that in his hand?” asks Rocket and Tony holds Eddy up.

“Thats baby you!” giggles Tony and Rocket growls.

“A Raccoon stuffed animal? Really?” he asks Peter who only shrugs. Tony giggles.

“Tony what did you told me when i said we should name the raccoon rocket.” asks Peter and grins.

“ ’s not a good name for a raccoon.” giggles Tony and Rocket gasps.

“What did he say?” asks Rocket and Tony taps his nose.

“ but ’s good name for you.” says Tony and Rocket stops for a moment.

“Why are you so cute?” asks Rocket then and Tony shrugs.

“Am i cute?” he asks and Peter nods.

And how cute he is!

Even Bech Næsheim prides himself on being generally pretty decently calm about things. There is one thing though …. he isn’t that calm about.

They are laying in bed, legs tangled and facing each other when it happens. Isak’s eyes shift the slightest bit from Even’s face and seem to focus on something behind him for a split second, then return to Even.

Even knows this. It’s the exact same way his mother had looked his entire life when she contemplated how do break those horrible news to him, whats behind him and at the same time not wanting him to panic.  

Even’s eyes widen and he - with a quickness he didn’t know his sleepy and lanky body was capable of - turns and at the same time scoots away (read: more than half on Isak, who let out an indignant little hmpf).

There it was. Dangling in the space just right behind the spot his head had been a second ago. A freaking Spider. Making a strangled noise Even scoots even further away (read: climbs over Isak) and jumps out of the bed.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck” his voice is whiny and breathless. Eyes focusing on the little fucker he misses the disbelieving look his boyfriend gives him.

“Babe,” Isak starts, but Even shoots him a scared looking glare. “Don’t Babe me! Kill it!”

Isak raises both brows and opens his mouth. Obviously contemplating if he should continue this conversation or just commit the first degree insect murder. Well, he decides on a compromise. He reaches over and takes it in his hand and-

“OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Isak almost lets the spider go when he jumps at Even’s booming question.

“Jesus Christ, Even! I’m putting it outside! Would you fucking chill?”

Isak moves out of the bed and when he passes Even to get to the window, Even scrambles out of the way and almost out of the room. Isak rolls his eyes when he opens the window and places the spider outside.

“How can you even touch that thing?” Even shivers. He feels phantom spiders all over himself. He shivers again. Bc YUCK!

Isak scoffs “I’ve lived in an actual basement, Even. I lived among them” He seems to get an idea because he grins when he turns around and he raises his eyebrows in a dramatic way. “I am the Master of spiders!” He spreads his arms wide as he says that.

Even can’t help but snort at his silly boy. He is still remaining frozen at the bedroom door, though - arms driving over every part that somehow suddenly feels like little eight-legged things move around on it - so Isak crosses the distance between them.

“All good now. The spider is gone, Evi. Let’s go to sleep.” He says and tugs Even toward the bed.

“Ok, but ….” Even pulls his lips in and stares at the bed. Isak looks between his boyfriend and the bed.

“Uh,… want me to search it?” He asks, shrugging with one shoulder. He really expects Even to say no, of course not but Even’s head snaps to him with a relieved look in his eyes and face and he quickly says “Yes!”

Smut hoe is back? *temporarily*

Yall….

I’ve been working on this fic for like ever. and I never finished it.  And tonight  decided to. The *smutty* part isnt that good but whatever. I did it.

“Bottled up”

You x Jackson Wang (GOT7) 

Feat best friend Bam Bam (non-sexual friendship)

Rated M 

Smut

One Shot.

*Disclaimer*: If you dont like smut dont read it.  Just dont do it. 

“You didn’t have to pay for my flight! What the hell Bam!” You yelled on the phone with your best friend Bam Bam.  You had discovered a notification in your email that your round trip to Thailand was booked. Only you didn’t book anything yet.

“Just think of it as a late birthday present,” He said laughing.” “I can afford it love.”

“Yeah but you know I’ve been saving up to come to Thailand! I got the money silly.”

“Use it to go shopping!” He said, chuckling in the phone.  You hated when Bam Bam paid for you. Especially because you work.  Sure he was your best friend and an idol, but you didn’t want to use him for his money. Your eyes rolled. You wanted to make it up to him but had no idea how. The boy had everything. He was the fashion king so you couldn’t buy him a new outfit. He’s already ahead of the fashion game.

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anonymous asked:

Your highschool AU gives me life so I was thinking, what if the gang and MC are at their school at night because they're going to do a 'test of courage' but at some point mc and their s/o get separated from the other group and a scared MC reveals that they're afraid of the dark aaand what would the scenario be for all of the chars with mc if that happened ?

omg this is so good i HAVE TO

Yoosung

  • Yoosung and MC alone in the dark? no problem, he’ll be totally cool and-
  • except that it’s a HUGE problem
  • because Yoosung is afraid of the dark too
  • he’s so scared that he cant even enjoy the fact that MC just asked if they could hold his hand
  • “uh, yea, s-sure…”
  • oh no their hand is so warm
  • Yoosung is so laser focused on finding everyone else that every little thing makes him jump
  • but MC is scared, too, so the two are just a yelping mess, holding onto each other in the darkness
  • one leaf rustles and all of a sudden its a scream-fest with these two
  • great, the one time me and MC get close i’m too busy being afraid for my LIFE to enjoy it
  • just my luck
  • classic Yoosung
  • he makes it a goal to get over his fear of the dark so that the next time him and MC are alone in the woods at night together, he’ll be ready

Zen

  • engage hero mode
  • “dont worry, i’ll protect you”
  • MC is clinging so close to him he’s practically carrying them
  • and boy, he is loving every second
  • he loves playing the role of protector and he thinks the way MC squeezes his hand is so adorable, and of course he’s not afraid of the dark i mean what reason does he have to-
  • HOLY SHIT SOMETHING JUST MOVED IN THOSE BUSHES 
  • Zen goes from calm and collected to violently moving his flashlight to point it at a bush
  • of course, MC freaks out even more
  • “Zen, what is it?!”
  • “i dont know, but whatever it is, i’ll protect you from it”
  • please dont be something scary please dont be something scary please dont be something scary
  • “well…its gone now. we have nothing to fear, sweetheart”
  • ZEN LOWKEY LETS OUT THE BIGGEST SIGH OF RELIEF
  • HE REALLY THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT A BEAR OR SOMETHING
  • which, i mean, he would do for MC in a heartbeat
  • but if it can be helped, he’d rather not

Jaehee

  • Jaehee would try to comfort MC in all the wrong ways
  • she says with a smooth voice, while gently rubbing MC’s shoulders:
  • “a fear of the dark isnt practical”
  • “even if there was something scary, its dark so we cant see it, therefore we cant be bothered by it”
  • “if there was a murderer in this forest they would have killed us by now”
  • “big animals sleep at night for the most part, and they dont like to eat humans”
  • suddenly in the middle of her “comforting” speech, Jaehee hears sobs
  • “MC, whats wrong?”
  • “Jaehee, your’re freaking me out!!”
  • “oh…um…aright..”
  • Jaehee is racking her brain for the right thing to say
  • she decides to take MC’s hand
  • “i guess what i’m trying to say is that everything will be alright”
  • MC pulls Jaehee a little closer and puts their hear of her shoulder
  • “thats all i wanted to hear”

Jumin

  • at first Jumin is kind of like why are you so close to me
  • can we…..personal space, please?
  • and then when MC tells him about their fear of the dark he’s more like
  • ooooooOOOOOOHHHHHHhhhh
  • once Jumin realizes whats happening, he understands that its important to comfort MC
  • he may be socially inept but he’s not a heartless robot, no matter what Seven says
  • he would remind MC to stay close to him
  • he’d probably be the one to suggest they hold hands
  • “do you want my jacket, too?”
  • “dont worry, i’m not going anywhere”
  • walks with one around around MC

707

  • immediately takes advantage of the situation
  • “why are you walking so close to me? what, do you like me or something?”
  • “no, you jerk!!”
  • scaring MC every two seconds
  • he would probably keep doing it until they started crying, then we would panic
  • “hey hey whats wrong? i’m just goofing off!!”
  • “Seven, cant you see that you’re freaking me out?”
  • “oh i’m..i’m sorry…i just wanted to mess around a little…”
  • he would put one arm around MC and pull them in while they walk, unzipping his hoodie so that MC is kinda cradled inside with him
  • “Seven, you’re an asshole, yknow that?”
  • “yea, i know. but at least now we’ve confirmed that i’m the scariest thing out here”
  • until they found the other Seven would walk with MC snuggled into his jacket

THANKS FOR READING!!! MORE HIGH SCHOOL AU COMING SOON ^^

12x12 Episode Review - Still Screeching...this time about the colour “Peach”.

I gave my 12x10 episode review the title “Pterodactyl Screeching into the Void” because I was so happy about it I couldn’t help but scream with glee at practically every moment. I also said this: “I feel like there is so much to talk about in this episode that fandom will be chewing on it for months if not years to come.” I still believe this, I just didn’t expect that two episodes later I would be reliving this exact same thoughts and feelings. I considered 12x10 to be a one off, a glorious gift to fandom wrapped in a big destielicious bow. Clearly, we celebrate our fandom birthday only two weeks before fandom Christmas because we just got ANOTHER gift wrapped in an even BIGGER destielicious bow and I can hardly contain my glee. (baring in mind fandom Christmas falls on the tenth anniversary of tumblr and close to valentines day I can’t help but feel this was planned - PRESENTS ALL AROUND)

But anyway. Lets talk meta. Once again I am very late to the party as I doubt I will be posting this any earlier than Saturday evening when you have probably all been talking this to death for the past two days. But eh, I’m gonna do my thing and hope you all agree, or aren’t bored by now if everything I talk about is stuff already gone over by my fellow very talented meta writers.

Starting with the obvious, Director Dick Speight Jr and Writer Davy Perez made this episode an homage to Tarantino movies. Specifically Reservoir Dogs which has so many ties to this episode both visually and subtextually that it is kind of difficult to keep track of my thoughts on it. I have to confess, I hadn’t ever watched Reservoir Dogs all the way through prior to watching the episode because it never really interested me. However, after watching the episode for the first time Friday lunch time I decided that it was in my best interests as a meta writer to give it a go. I watched it and tried to take in everything Tarantino was saying and doing with this movie… 

Being a meta writing, destiel shipper with heteronormative goggles permanently removed since watching this show guess what the first thing I picked up on was? That’s right Mr White and Mr Orange… what WAS going on there anyway? Because these guys didn’t know each other very long but they became VERY close by the time of the heist. Poor Freddie and Larry. Such doomed tragic lovers… do we have a ship name for them yet? Frarry? Leddie? Or maybe just “peach” (hence my title)

I believe that when Perez was writing this episode he had a SPN character in mind for each character in RD (mostly anyway). Cas is obviously Mr Orange (the bleeding out from the stomach thing gives it away as does Davy’s tweet here. Here is who I think the rest of the characters are supposed to be:

Dean – Mr White (duh)

Mary – Mr Pink

Wally – Mr Brown

Sam – Nice Guy Eddie maybe? I struggled here

Crowley – I wanna say Joe. (though I also kinda think Ketch would be Joe here… its not too obvious)

Remiel – Mr Blonde (“yellow” hair)

Explanations and various meta under the cut. This gets long:

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Kenma recognizes him from the broad lines of his back and the strong muscles that cover his shoulders and biceps. He doesn’t move much but when he does, they ripple like water, flowing so smoothly it’s mesmerizing. Kenma can’t see much at all; there’s no moon out and the street lights are down, but he knows this body well enough.

Kenma opens the door softly and steps out. From the slightest stiffening of Iwaizumi’s shoulders, he knows the man is aware of his presence, which is impressive since he’s always been quiet in his movements. He walks forward and grabs onto the railing, the cold metal biting into his skin.

“Can’t sleep?”

It’s rare for Kenma to initiate a conversation. It isn’t lack of interest so much as it is the fact that he’s rarely comfortable enough to start talking to someone. But his curiosity is far too great when it comes to Iwaizumi. The man is different from the others in the band. He never asks Kenma questions, never tries to pry, and respects his personal space, though he does smile at him occasionally and he makes great coffee.

Iwaizumi doesn’t turn to look at him but he smiles a little, his dimple barely visible. “Yeah, it’s just one of those nights, you know?”

Kenma nods because he does in fact know. Leaning forward, he rests his chin on the metal and winces when the cold hits him harder than he expected, but it’s not a bad sensation. The wind feels nice, just this side of chilly, and the silence is welcome. They don’t live in a good neighborhood, and there’s always fighting and loud music and an absurd amount of yelling.

But on this night, at 2:47 in the morning, with the stars hiding behind the clouds and the moon nowhere in sight, Kenma has never liked this place better. Iwaizumi’s presence is strangely comforting, and the sound of his every inhale followed by a soft exhale makes Kenma unconsciously sync with him.

“Do you like it here so far?”

The tone of Iwaizumi’s voice makes it abundantly clear that Kenma is free to ignore the question if he wants to. He appreciates that, and decides to answer honestly.

“Haven’t really been here long enough to decide,” he says, eyes sliding shut, “but I think I’m going to stay just a little longer, if that’s alright with you.”

Iwaizumi huffs out a laugh, and it’s strangely endearing. “No problems here.” He brings the cigarette to his lips and takes a long drag, and Kenma watches as he blows out the smoke with a sigh, a white cloud forming into the silent darkness of the night. The metal of his tongue piercing shimmers when the headlights of a passing car shines on it, and Kenma’s breath hitches in his throat.

Iwaizumi offers him the cigarette without turning to look at him and Kenma accepts it gratefully. He takes a generous drag of his own and the feel of the smoke calms him with its familiarity. Blowing out the smoke with a lengthy exhale, he hands it back to Iwaizumi, and he feels a new bond form. It’s intimate in a way he’s never felt before, warm even when it’s cold, and he actually likes it. Might even get used to it.

He finally turns to face the man and takes in his profile, and it keeps surprising him, how handsome the raven-head really is. “Has Kuroo always been this insufferable?”

Iwaizumi’s eyes widen at the question before he starts laughing, loud and deep, and Kenma finds himself smiling along.

“You could say that, though Oikawa is right up there with him.” Iwaizumi winks, a playful smile dancing on his lips, “Don’t tell him I said that though.”

Kenma covers his mouth dramatically and Iwaizumi nods his approval. The two grin and face the street again.

The view isn’t terrible, if Kenma’s being honest. They aren’t high enough for him to feel anxious, but he can easily see the park a few metres away. A sigh of content escapes him and Iwaizumi mirrors it and they just stand there, shrouded by the comfortable silence between them that mingles with the silence of the night.

It’s nice, Kenma decides. It’s nice.

Hurricane AU

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