this isn't mine i didn't make it

“Dude, what the hell?”

Nursey didn’t respond. His back was still to Dex, head pressed against the locked door. Only a few minutes ago, he had grabbed Dex from the middle of the party and hauled him upstairs into the bathroom. Dex was completely bewildered by his behavior, but it was so uncharacteristic of Nursey that, after the brief flash of irritation, he began to worry.

“Hey,” Dex said, though gentler this time. He reached out to touch Nursey’s shoulder, which Nursey immediately shrugged off. He was inhaling and exhaling deeply, trying to get a hold of himself before he could face Dex.

Then, without preamble, Nursey turned around and surprised Dex by kissing him. It wasn’t gentle; it was a clash of teeth at first that made Dex wince a bit. Nursey crowded him against the sink and roughly pulled him closer. This wasn’t like the other times. Dex could feel an undercurrent of anger in Nursey, and while he was unexpectedly enjoying the possessiveness Nursey was showing, Dex broke away from the kiss anyways.

“Stop,” he said, turning his head. “What’s wrong?”

Nursey huffed but stepped back. He schooled his features into a calm expression, but Dex knew him better than that. “Nothing. Never mind. Let’s get back to the party.”

“No, Derek,” Dex said. “If something’s bothering you, don’t fucking hold it in. I’m not a mind reader.” The last part came out harsher than he’d intended, but Nursey had been standoffish all night, and it was starting to grate on his nerves.

“Something’s bothering me?” Nursey a humorless laugh and rubbed his palm over his face. “It’s like…” he started. “It’s like we’re not even dating.”

“But we are,” Dex said slowly. He could could feel the dread coil up under his ribs as he wondered if this was Nursey’s lead up to breaking up.

“Yeah,” Nursey said flatly. “We are.”

“I don’t understand,” he said. “Do you not want to be? Is this what it’s about?” Dex could feel the anger rising, an automatic reaction for him. Get angry at everything first before they could hurt you.

“No,” Nursey said, and then something inside of him snapped. “But can you blame me for getting pissed off when the captain of the basketball team is flirting with my boyfriend and he does nothing about it?” Nursey progressively got louder, but he didn’t seem to care. Luckily, the music was still at full volume downstairs so it wasn’t like anyone was going to hear them.

“He wasn’t flirting,” Dex said, aghast and immediately defensive. “We were talking about our seasons.”

“I know what flirting looks like,” Nursey hissed. “You haven’t even looked at me all evening. It’s like I’m not even here.”

Dex threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling. The accusation stung. He bit his bottom lip and tried to control the swirl of conflicted emotions inside of him. He wanted to lash out instinctively, tell Nursey that he was wrong and that how could he think Dex was interested in anyone else but him.

“I have to go.” Dex threw open the bathroom door and left the Haus before anyone could stop him. He ended up making his down by the river. The night was cool and it was quiet enough to leave Dex to his own thoughts.

This was still all very new to Dex: guys, relationships, someone like Derek Nurse actually wanting him. They’d agreed to take it slow and keep their dating a secret, but it was starting to get harder and harder to keep it under wraps.

When he finally checked his phone, he realized he’d been ambling for almost an hour. He felt calmer now, less like wanting to punch something. He didn’t feel like going back to the party so he headed back to his dorm.

He wasn’t expecting to find Nursey sitting on the floor outside of his room. With a gentle prod of his foot, Nursey woke up with a start.

“Hey,” Dex said. “It’s late.”

“I know. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault. I’m was a jealous asshole.”

“I know,” Dex snorted. He unlocked his door. “Wanna come in?”

“You still mad at me?”

“A bit, but we can talk about it in the morning.”

There wasn’t much conversation as they slowly stripped off their clothes and fell into Dex’s tiny bed. There was solemness to the way Nursey kissed, as if he was trying to show how sorry he was from the lingering presses of his lips on Dex’s neck all the way down the soft skin of his hips. Dex was pliant under Nursey’s touch, arching up and surrendering himself in the only way he could to show Nursey that he was his, all his.

Afterwards, Nursey snuggled in and rested his head under Dex’s chin. They were both too tired to say anything, and as they drifted off to sleep, Dex’s mumbled, “Derek?” There was no response except for quiet breathing. “I’ll always choose you,” Dex said anyways, and hoped that, somewhere in his unconscious mind, Nursey heard it.

I just finished Friday’s Emmerdale and what a crock of shite lmaoooo, I was hoping Robert would actually seem really broken and bothered but nOPE. This was the reaction I would’ve expected if he’d have just made a pass at Bex, not actually banged her. Not good enough.

This is so stupid, I felt like I was watching an entirely different show. The only shining light was Chas dragging Bex and calling her a trollop. Bex is almost Lachlan-level of creepy (well she is his aunt so) and the show doesn’t seem to know what it wants to do and I’m basically done.

Originally posted by dontmesswiththeleprechaun

I’m going to go listen to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack again :) :) :)

Do you know what’s sad? I didn’t even know Calum wrote jet black heart until a few weeks after it was released bc of the way everyone was talking about how Michael wrote it, how heartbroken Michael must’ve been to write such a song and if that doesn’t show you Calum is under appreciated idk what will.

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Daenerys Targaryen and Stannis Baratheon + parallels ♦ requested by aglimpseofazorahai

I am so tired of having to try so hard to make you happy, only to lose myself in the process.

If I cannot make you happy simply by breathing, perhaps I cannot make you happy at all.

—  if you really loved me, i wouldn’t have to try so hard to make you happy: a person who loves you will be overjoyed simply because you are alive // a.s.m
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side by side

49/50 Days of Outlaw Queen

Thankyou troyesivan and tyleroakley, for making me who I am today, and for being there for me even when you didn’t know you were.
You’re the people who can make me smile, just by existing. I’m so proud of you.