this isn't a job interview

-NOT A POST- 

Alright, let’s make this quick. Guys, I have literally just moved to a different country and I’m away from home for the first time. This is because I’m a Rebellious Teen™ and I can’t move out without crossing the odd border. I also start med school on Monday, so it’s safe to say that things are pretty hectic right now. (Yes, I do plan on becoming a doctor, and yes - I am also frightened by that prospect.)

I’m writing this because I don’t know how much I will be able to post in the future. I’ve tried to stick to posting almost everyday, but it may become much less often. Therefore, if you see that I haven’t posted for one week - then I haven’t stopped the blog. It may just be harder for me to be consistent with the timings. 

If I do continue posting like normal, then ignore this post. I obviously have no idea what I’m talking about.

Anyway, that’s about it. While I still have your attention, I just want to say a massive thank you (because I’m sappy as hell in real life tbh). We’ve almost reached 1400 followers (!) and that’s absolutely insane. A few (biased) mental calculations tell me that it’s more than Voldemort ever had, so ha (I know I’m probably wrong but let me have my moment).

Until next time ~

(whenever that may be 👀)

  • Billy: What am I most afraid of? Hmmm, let's see...
  • Melvin: Global warming.... and getting a B.
  • Lisa: The phone ringing in the middle of the night.
  • George: That I'm too much of a perfectionist.
  • Lisa: Honey, this isn't a job interview.
  • George: Oh, man... job interviews
  • Mr. Krupp: Nothing
  • Edith: Yeah, right, what about the pigeons?
  • Mr. Krupp: Oh, I don't like them... They're shifty.
  • Harold: Losing Billy.
  • Billy: Awww... hotel bedspreads, ugh.
  • Professor Poopypants: Never getting my license.. or getting one and the picture sucks.
  • Captain Underpants: Dying alone.

While I am incredibly fond of the idea of producing artwork for the official MtG trading cards and brand, I feel my style may be put to better use as (at best) a storyboard artist somewhere.

I’m certain that if I ever threw my portfolio at the staff of WotC they’d look at it and whisper in a hushed, ancient Latin between themselves “it’s that Ciphir guy that won’t stop drawing Tibalt on Tumblr all the time. This guy’s a big nerd”. 

After a long scrutinizing stare at my artwork laid out before them, they unfurl their indiscernible amount of gnarled wings and extend a singular talon from what seems to be coming from the center-most body. My mind will start to fill with the sound of static; The kind of static the TV makes at 3am when you wake up and recall very clearly that you turned off the TV when you went to bed just a few short hours ago. I clutch at my temples as if such a gesture would cease the noise. Softly at first, but growing louder, there is chanting. “All hail New Phyrexia - all will be one“! The distorted fog that swirls where the bodies of my interviewers should be lifts from the floor and slips up into the ceiling. The static disappears - as does the chanting. I am left by myself in the small room, seated on a plastic chair with my portfolio open on the table in front of me. On it, a small post-it note with words written in clear Times New Roman: “Don’t call us, we’ll call you”.

  • So, I have this cousin who has a really important job in a big company, and other day she had to do some jobs interviews. There was this girl with blue hair waiting to do the interview and when my cousin's boss saw her, he just -
  • Boss: so, hm...are you going to interview that girl?
  • Her: she? yes, why?
  • Boss: idk, I mean...do you think she would even know how to do the job?
  • Her: well, idk, isn't that why we do interviews?