this is why you are a life ruiner

HELLO AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER THRILLING EPISODE OF:

aka Episode 95, part 2 of 3 (part 1 is here)!

Isis is recounting the time she took Malik out for an icecream once and destroyed her whole family. #oops

It started well…

Good to know the Ishtars have an actual normal way in and out of the cult-dungeon and don’t have to climb up and down the well that Pegasus et al broke in via! 

Malik gets his first ever taste of the sun…

Can you imagine how intense the Egyptian sun would be, having never seen anything brighter than candlelight? Although possibly Malik has seen sunlight coming through the well, since the moon is definitely visible from it.

Isis takes him to a town which must be really very close by. If Isis and other women from the clan do come here, which they must, I wonder if they’re noticed, the way, say, a semi-secret group of Amish people would be in a village market. Old-fashioned simple dress, archaic language, buying in bulk and leaving in a direction where there’s supposed to be nothing but ruins?

Despite this being the smallest and crappest market in northern Africa, Malik is OVERSTIMULATED and I guess we’re all just lucky she didn’t bring him to a mall. 

what now they’re fucking fairies or something? ~“of this world”~ This is your local supermarket, for all intents and purposes, and you’ve obviously been here before. But even though Isis is probably allowed to come here, she’s obviously been taught to think of herself as totally separate from these people.

But the first thing Malik does touch ~of this world~ isn’t anything flashy, it’s a magazine someone dropped…

Malik shows an admirable librarian-like quality!

And he’a absolutely fascinated by the I-have-to-presume photos in the magazine. They could be drawings. Because they ARE drawings. It’s functionally impossible for me to tell what’s supposed to be an anime-style drawing and what’s supposed to be a photograph IN an anime, except by context, and either a semi-realistic drawing OR a photograph would look “so real” next to, y’know,

Malik is enchanted by a photo (drawing?) of a man riding a motorbike, and then happens to see a different (the same??) man riding a motorbike on a live action (animated???) television program

Isis hurries him away when she realises the man at the stall with the TV is surprised that Malik is so awestruck by seeing a TV. She obviously doesn’t want him to guess that Malik has never been outside before. It’s unclear whether she knows about child protective services or not but definitely they will all be in some trouble if CPS ever found the child-torture-isolation-dungeon aka home.

She DOES know about motorbikes and TVs and stuff though! Malik asks and she tells him exactly what they all are. It’s so fascinating to me that she’s having clearly such a very different life to him, and they’re so close but she’s obviously never told him about any of these things. I imagine the women are more permissive, especially over ground, but have impressed on Isis that she mustn’t tell Malik of these things, especially when he was young. If Malik let slip something about televisions to his father, they would probably all be in trouble.

Malik’s excitement dissipates as he realises, even if he lives a long life…

And Isis stops dead

She was trying so hard to make Malik happy, to give him his wish while still protecting him from their father, and this is where she realises that maybe Malik not knowing what he’s missing was better. Now that he knows, now that he’s stood in sunshine and had a taste of possibilities, how can he ever be happy underground? He’s only 12, and she’s only 16. 

She swallows it all and puts on a smile for him.

Trying to ease the blow that they have to return so soon. She made him promise they would only be gone an hour, I think the town must be more than 20 minutes walk away.

And just all she wants is for him to be happy!

He does have amazingly effective puppy-dog eyes though… They’re both so cute! And they really ask for so little! He doesn’t even ask to keep the whole magazine - a whOLE MAGAZINE, like that would be such an outrageous demand for a 12 year old. He just wants one little reminder of the only hour of his life he didn’t spend in darkness.

And then. THIS asshole. Shows up. Just fuckin teleports right into their path so Isis almost runs right into him.

Isis, being one of the smartest people on this show, is immediately almost aggressively suspicious of This Asshole.

This Asshole tells them, nbd, their inevitable future is awash with “bloodshed and tragedy” and, oh, btw,

THIS IS JUST A LIE. HE’S JUST STARTING SHIT FOR NO GOOD REASON. YOU KNOW WHAT HE WANTS?? HE WANTS ISIS AND MALIK TO TAKE UP THE MILLENNIUM ITEMS AND GO FIND YUGI MUTOU SO THEY CAN GIVE THEIR ITEMS TO HIM AND ALSO SOME TRADING CARDS. YOU KNOW WHAT HE COULD HAVE SAID INSTEAD OF THIS?? 

“oh hi kids, don’t be alarmed or murder anyone, I’d just like to let you know your Long Foretold Destiny is here, the Pharaoh’s soul is kickin around Japan (for some reason), so it’d be just super swell if you two would inherit the mystical artifacts your family has been guarding for millennia for Just This Occasion! and pop over there to drop them off with a Mr Yugi Mutou of the Kame Game Shop, central Domino City, Japan, I’ll write down the address for you, oh, and be sure to look up a Mr Pegasus on your way, he has some trading cards you should tuck into that little Pharaoh Care Package too! hey, y’know what, I’ll walk you home to explain all this to your dad too in case he doesn’t believe you!”

or even a like

“The Great Pharaoh’s soul once more walks the Earth. Your ancient promise must soon be fulfilled. Seek the Pharaoh.”

that would probably have worked, they’re good kids. And smart. They could have stolen the Items from the shitty desk tidy and run away to Japan all together: Malik and Isis both separately found the Pharaoh, so together they definitely could have, and probably sooner!

INSTEAD:

yep that’ll probably work.

Isis insists they return home, and Malik asks for one more thing

(vrum vrum)

One moment longer in the sunshine to imagine his new wish, which he currently accepts will never come to pass:

a highly safety-conscious motorbike ride.

But when they re-enter the child-torture-dungeon, they notice something they missed on the way out…

It’s some contraption attached to the door, which Isis says she didn’t notice in the darkness as they were leaving. She must never have been out without an older relative before, and didn’t realise there was a rudimentary alarm. She immediately guesses what’s happened but it isn’t until they see Malik’s room has been trashed that Malik figures it out, and by the time they reach Rishid…

#just-child-torture-dungeon-things

And that’s where things start to slip out of Malik’s control, because with Rishid unconscious…

This mini-murderer is free to take over. That’s him CATCHING THE END OF THE WHIP BEFORE IT STRIKES HIM, btw.

One of Mr Ishtars hopefully many regrets will be that he decided to whip Rishid to unconsciousness in this particular room, because it makes it far too easy for Yami baby!Malik to claim the Rod.

And he isn’t shy about using it, pinning first his father

and then his sister to the walls.

And just straight up stabbing Mr Ishtar to death with the pointy interior of the Rod, which, you know, was a bit of a weird design choice to begin with. You really have to Work to murder anyone with any of the other Items…

(AU where Malik instead strangles Mr Ishtar with the Necklace and during Battle City Malik knows the future and Isis controls people’s minds)

He’s about to turn on Isis too, thinking Rishid dead already, but that’s when Rishid wakes up (above, pictured, Yami baby!Malik’s surprised face) and as soon as their eyes meet, Original Flavour baby!Malik resurfaces, with no memory of what just happened.

Rishid tries to protect him (this is so touching, look at Malik’s little hand on Rishid’s chest </3) but Malik sees…

He’s surprisingly upset for someone whose father, y’know, tortured him, kept him trapped underground, almost beat his brother to death, probably more than once, completely overlooks his sister, throws candles at people, etc etc. But that’s not uncommon in children who’ve been abused by their parents.

Oh yeah, and just in case the TRAUMATISED CHILDREN aren’t fucking traumatised enough…

THIS ASSHOLE

Was he POSSESSING him?? He comes right out of Mr Ishtar?? Did Shadi go tell those kids death is their future and then pop home before them to ORCHESTRATE THE DEATH?? Like Mr Abusivshtar is definitely capable of beating Rishid to within an inch of his life, Asshole possession or no, but like, why is Shadi coming out of him if he wasn’t In him??

NO IT FUCKING WASN’T YOU’RE LITERALLY THE WORST GO GET CAUGHT IN A VACUUM CLEANER YOU SPITEFUL ETHEREAL RUINER

anonymous asked:

I fall in love with trash lord Anakin Skywalker because of your art. I don't even know is it good or bad, but thank you. If someone said me "Join the dark side, we have a lot of Shorelle's art", i will join them immediately. You are wonderful person.

oh my lord, thank you so much anon! I’m so glad you fell in love with this trash lord too, IT’S TOTALLY A GOOD THING and honestly am just really honoured because Anakin Skywalker is literally the reason why I got back into drawing a few years ago!

// uses this excuse to doodle our original Space Trash King (now in eternally sassy force ghost form!!) (/¯◡ ‿ ◡)/¯ ~ ☆

Be our fan! Be our fan! Watch the episode again!

Lumiere:

Ma chere Mademoiselle, it is with deepest pride

and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight.

And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a

chair as the dining room proudly presents -

your life ruiner!

Be our guest! Be our guest!

Put our plotpoints to the test

Hold your handkerchief to cheek, cherie

And we’ll provide the rest

Death du jour - 

Feels we feel!

Why, you know, this isn’t real!

Try to suffer

Chip:

It’s delicious

Lumiere:

Don’t believe me? We are vicious!

They can sing, they can dance

Most of all – they have no chance!

And a climax here is never second best

Go on, unfold your crush

Take a glance and – hush! -

Be our guest

Oui, our guest

Be our guest!

Lumiere and Chorus:

Fate ragout

Tears souffle

Souls and curses “en flambe”

Lumiere:

We’ll prepare and serve with flair

A tragicomic cabaret!

You’re alone

And you’re scared

But the story arch’s prepared

You are gloomy and complaining

While your woe is entertaining

We tell jokes, do a trick

You are helpless and you stick

Chorus:

And it’s all in perfect taste

That you can bet

Come on and lift your glass

You’ve won your own free pass

To be out guest

Lumiere:

If you’re stressed

It’s fine whining we suggest

Chorus:

Be our guest! Be our guest! Be our guest! 

Fangirls language

This is a guide for those who try to read a fangirl’s blog and understand it.

  1. “Bias” = the person you like the most
  2. “Guns” = arm muscles
  3. “I hate you” = I fucking love you but you ruin my life
  4. “Asdfghjkl” = I’m so excited I can’t write real words
  5. “I wanna punch you in the face” = another way to say you ruin my life
  6. “to ship” = from relationship, term used when you pair 2 people you would like to be together
  7. “OTP” = One True Pair, but fangirls have more than one
  8. “Life ruiner” = your bias and his talent/charm/look makes you dedicate your life to him so tha’t why he/she ruins your life
  9. “I can’t” = when you’re too fascinated by sth your bias does
  10. “What is air” = 1. when you see a hot picture/gif and you literally can’t breath; 2. when you see a funny post/picture/gif and you can’t breath bc of how much you laugh
  11. “I’m crying” = whenever your bias does sth
  12. “Ultimate bias” = that one person you will forever love no matter how many biases you already have
  13. “Are you even real?” = when you see a nice picture of your bias
  14. “Comeback” = when your favorite artist/band release a new song/album
  15. “Why are you doing this to me?” = whenever your bias do sth
  16. “Fandom” = second family

You can add more of those. 

the signs as mean girls quotes

aries: “you smell like a baby prostitute.”
taurus: “on wednesdays we wear pink.”
gemini: “if you’re from africa, why are you white?”
cancer: “i don’t hate you ‘cause your fat. you’re fat ‘cause i hate you!”
leo: “ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. that’s just, like, the rules of feminism.”
virgo: “i’m not a regular mom, i’m a cool mom.”
libra: i wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. i wish i could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.”
scorpio: “that’s why her hair is so big. it’s full of secrets.”
sagittarius: “made out with a hot dog? oh my god that was one time!”
capricorn: “’cause she’s a life ruiner. she ruins people’s lives.”
aquarius: “she doesn’t even go here!”
pisces: “get in loser. we’re going shopping.”

ig || tumblrastrologie

Home Economics Student Jaehyun

Request: Home economics student au! Jaehyun (is that how they write it lmao??) your fellow class mate writes u a cookie recipe coz u can’t make them and he sneaks in some flirty notes?? Just an idea I had for a scenario :) use it if it suits ya? Xxxxx

A/N: this is really short and vague omg im so sorry

  • i’ll be writing it in this format so do request again if you want it to be in a scenario form!
  • okay i can relate to this because i can’t cook at all
  • and guess who’s my number one bias wrecker??
  • jeffrey :’)
  • okay let’s go

  • so you had been taking home economics for about a year now

  • not because you like it,
  • but because it doesn’t require much theory based knowledge and it involves food so
  • and thanks to you who always sleeps in home economics, you hardly even know how to cook
  • which is why you were thankful for having such a wonderful partner like Jaehyun
  • who basically knows how to cook EVERYTHING, even though he also sleeps in class
  • and you’re there like ?? how do you do that
  • so he helps you out whenever there’s tests or practical sessions, and you always manage to get a pass so you’re thankful for him
  • a really fun partner tbh
  • would call you randomly during class time and tell you random jokes
  • or even compliment you
  • and when pair work is required, most of the time you feel like a servant
  • because he hardly ever allows you to do anything
  • and he just orders you around and call you to do the basics
  • the most he’d let you do is to cook rice or something
  • “how do you even cook so well”
  • “skills”
  • “oh wow”
  • “i know ;))”
  • but sometimes he’s also so sweet,
  • “she did most of the work!! give her more marks”
  • “ what- i merely chopped some onions and-”
  • “and did the perfect seasoning which made the dish perfect, am i right Y/N??”
  • and you’re just there nodding
  • and when you thank him after,
  • “don’t need to, you just owe me one”
  • and that favour is to go out with him on a date after school
  • which turned out pretty well because you got to know more about him and how much of a life ruiner he is
  • and after that for some reason he started becoming more flirty and sweet around you
  • he already was before but it wasn’t as much
  • and you lowkey had a crush on him so your heart was just soft™
  • so one day the teacher decided have a ‘surprise’ test and want each of you to bake some cookies
  • which again, you didn’t know how to
  • you only knew how to eat them
  • so you sneaked a small note to jaehyun like always, “help a friend in need”
  • and he gives you a smirk
  • “why should i?”
  • you glare at him, “because my life depends on this, come on jaehyun, we’re really close right?”
  • “i feel that we could be closer though”
  • and you start whispering to him, “what? i need the recipe jae, i know you know it”
  • “well im not telling you”
  • “wth why”
  • and he gives you the cutest and innocent smile ever and you’re like ??confused??
  • next thing you know he raises up his hand and calls out to the teacher
  • “both me and y/n don’t know how to make them”
  • and the teacher just glares at yall and shakes her head, “see in detention after school today, i just taught this last week”
  • and you hit jaehyun with a shocked expression and he just laughs
  • then he leans down to you, “wanted to spend more time with you”
  • later that detention he’s just busy saying bad and cheesy pick up lines to you
  • while you’re trying not to laugh and cringe at all of them
  • “you may fall from the sky, you may fall from the tree.. but the best way to fall is to fall in love with me”
  • “oh my god, this is so cringy”
  • “hey at least it’s good”
  • “try another one”
  • “can i borrow a kiss? i promise i’ll give it back”
  • “no thanks”
  • “i know you want it”
  • and he smirks and leans towards you again
  • and you blush like mad because he’s never been that close to you before
  • but he stops and just laughs at your reaction
  • “do i know you? because you look like my next girlfriend”
  • and your heart just melts for some reason
  • “i wouldn’t mind though”
  • and he gives that big smile again which makes you weak!!
  • his eyes are all lit up right now
  • “are you serious?”
  • “i mean… if you don’t want to it’s fine”
  • and he just leans down to kiss you, and you feel the softest pair of lips ever
  • and your heart just beats like mad
  • until you hear your teacher yelling again
  • “jung jaehyun and y/n, i asked you to attend detention, not show off your kissing skills or something, stay back for two more hours”
  • but the both of you just giggle
  • “i guess more time spent together hehe”

i finally hit my first big milestone in followers on my blog the other day so i figured, why not do a little follow forever to celebrate my friends and mutuals? we might not yet have interacted, or maybe we have, but really only in or out of character; either way— this one is for all of you ! ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀


&& the life ruiners. 

the ones whose writing and characterisation i’m forever obsessed with, who i not only consider my thread partners but also my friends and basically ruin my life on a pretty regular thread basis ;

          @mumused@pianokeysandbowties 

&& the thread partners.

the ones i occasionally get to write with, who i admire as writers and whose characters are absolutely adorable, each and every single one ;

          @aboylikethat@aceblvck@brcckens@devilinarcddress@elliott-starchild@epicisms@fashicniista@hopelesswxnderers@hurricaneindies@mchumsindie@shenaniganelous@ofchxrisma ♡ @untraditionallysmart@warriortreegoddess 

&& the mutuals. 

the ones i can’t help but admire from afar, who make my dash an amazing place and who i can’t wait to hopefully one day write and interact with ; 

          @adamcrxwford@afterhcurs@amillionvoices@awakc@bcingnicesucks@berryinthebigapple@dancerisms@donutwaitress@dundcrmifflin@eternalstud@emotionalgrenades@fatedgods@forgedstories@glossophobias@howxrudex@hunterslatte@hypersomnolent ♡ @idyllicism@impcrfections@indiesamevans@killerblonde@mindsdefined@needspeople@nxsaint@ofberries@ofcrmes@offershope@ofmanyworlds@ofserein@ofstarrynights@oncetragic@pinpilinpaux@reattachmcnts@recklessyovths@reigningwiidow@shorelost@singthesewords@soulhcart@stberrywrites@stillgcy@thelcveclvb@theoriginalbadasspuckerman@tremulousalto@toleaveamark@underarrcst ♡ @vulgcr@warbleralways ♡ @warricrhearted ♡ @withstoopid ♡ @wrcngbitch