“i made a #metoo post on FB an hour ago and within the first 5 minutes someone i know in real life just commented “LOL” i literally fucking hate people”
honestly i could never make a #MeToo post on facebook and it’s not because the movement is dumb or anything but in my opinion, why the fuck would i want to let men in my life know that vulnerable piece of information or give anybody the opportunity to roll their eyes at my trauma. like in a way it is slightly redundant like… 1 in 3 women over the age of 16 in the UK (where i live) have been sexually assaulted. 1 in 3 women in the US will be killed by a male family member or spouse. like men already fucking know that we die by their hands and that they rape and abuse and get away with it time after time. posting it on facebook feels like fuel for whoever already fucking hates me.
I’ve been seeing headass headlines this for the past few days, and I simply ignored it bc the media does shit like this for money and clickbait. But I realized this is more than the media tryna get their coins, this is a blatant attack on black women and other woc. So @ white women? I think it’s time we have a little chat.
1. Beyonce has gone through a miscarriage, and thousands of other women have been through it as well. It is a terrible experience that no one deserves to go through. But Beyonce is a FAMOUS PERSON, and she has one of the largest fanbases in the world. So when she delivers news such as being pregnant with TWINS, of course the beyhive is gonna to go above and beyond when it comes to the reaction. Ya’ll dragged her through the mud w/ her first pregnancy trying to say it was faked. Now that she’s pregnant for a second time, she’s doing all these photo shoots to further prove the accuracy of it. And now ya’ll are criticizing her for it????? Tryna cover your asses for how you treated her 5 years ago??????? Get the fuck over it, because ya’ll didn’t say shit when these women did THIS w/ their pregnancy announcements:
2. Serena Williams has been demonized and ridiculed for her body type since FOREVER. People say that her body is “too masculine” and how she’s “built like a man”. It’s fucking gross because Serena is one of the most hard working athletes in the WORLD, and her body type shouldn’t be affiliated with the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into her career. White women, you can’t say that you’re an advocate for equality when you criticize a black woman’s photo shoot, deeming it “soft porn”, and yet you praise THESE photoshoots:
When a white woman, or hell even a non-black woman does shit like this, ya’ll are so quick to write article about how “empowering” they’re being. But when a black woman does it ya’ll all of the sudden wanna further sexualize and make it about “soft porn”??? Get over yourselves and let a black women love herself after receiving massive amounts of slander for her body type.
3. The role in Ghost in the Shell is definitely about race. If her character’s mom is Asian, then why tf couldn’t they just get an Asian person to play the character in the damn first place????
She should’ve just said “a woc deserves the role more than me, but unfortunately I can’t control who they cast” and then moved on. But nope, she had to make it about herself and disregard the fact woc are hardly ever represented in movies, especially Asian women.
4. You can’t criticize a movie you don’t even relate to on a cultural level. Moonlight takes the components of black struggles, black culture, black life, and puts it into a true cinematic experience. You don’t have to like the movie, but the movie itself is more about whether you “like it” or not. It’s whether you relate to it, whether you feel with it, and whether your experiences correlate with the character’s experiences. A “better plot” wouldn’t do shit Becky, you either get it or not. Not to mention Camilla Long was kissing La La Land’s ass:
So the point of this post isn’t to slander all white women and shame them. The point of this post to to show how frustrated black women are with white feminism. White women can be just as racist as white men, and they sure as hell benefit off that privilege. This is why a lot of black women these days kinda go side eyed when a white women says she’s a feminist. Are you a feminist for all women? Or are you a feminist for WHITE women. Please don’t call yourself a “advocate” for women if you’re gonna spend all this time bashing black women and other woc. Just say you hate black women and go.
How often my conversations about feminism have spiraled into requests for assault. I say, “Women don’t need men to defend them,” and am asked, “Can I punch you, then?” And I say, “Women belong in movies and video games and everything,” and I hear terrible things, unprintable slurs and demands for my assault, the threatening of a young woman to shut up: What they would do to silence me. The things they’d shove between my teeth. I say, “Men cannot threaten any woman they disagrees with,” and I’m told, “Women are just as cruel. Am I not supposed to respond in kind?” In my inbox today I have deleted sixteen messages asking for my life. When I say, “Your virginity only means what you want it to mean,” I’m asked, “If you believe in sexual freedom can I fuck you?” When I say “All it takes to be a woman is to want to be a woman,” I am asked, “So if I just say that I’m a woman, can I watch you in the shower?” As if women stand shadowy behind each other in our private moments. As if being woman means sexually assaulting each other.
Part of me - cynical, unwilling to be frightened, says that it might be a nice dose of reality. My shower where I am naked but my hair becomes streaky and thin, where my body sags, where my makeup smears. To witness a woman less than sexy, legs akimbo while shaving, pulling up flab thighs to reach the underside. Part of me dares them to punch me because I fight to win and am small but I’ll kill a man if he touches me. Once I dropped a U.S Marine. Part of me, hellfire and ice queen - says come on, then. You want a fight? Come fight me.
But more is scared. More timidly deletes messages, makes sure my name is hidden, doesn’t answer the endless antifeminist comments. The insertion of men and their opinion on simple things like “I teach children to ask before hugging.” When I close my eyes sometimes I wonder if they’re right and that scares me. How much am I going to change when my voice only echoes around me.
Why are you angry. Why are you angry. What do you think we are taking from you? If it’s not already equal why would equality frighten you.
The ancient art of being a woman and trying to get your voice heard: the gentle suggestion, the peaceful comment. The quiet listening to another opinion and the fact we must acknowledge it before we can continue. That I must educate, be sweet, be feminine in my feminism or else it’s “invalid.” I must present my declaration as a timid thing: “Women maybe should be part of more things.” And then the apologies: of course I don’t hate men, yes I like plenty of things with men in them, no I don’t think women are better. And then the explanations: women are people, here is the number of women in media, here is the number of dead women in media, here are the number of shows led by men. And then I brace for it. For the bullying.
Every time I speak it’s from a flinch. From “maybe this isn’t always the case but for me it is.” From please listen. From less demanding. God forbid I state factually that men are violent. If I speak about our fathers and brothers and the cycle of anger unfolding. God forbid I suggest that just once we should cut the bullshit and treat women well without pandering to men about how that helps them. What if I say “Men shouldn’t hit anyone. Hitting isn’t an answer.”
I’ll tell you what happens. The post was up for four seconds with three notes. The message I get is “If hitting isn’t allowed I’ll just go ahead and shove a gun down your throat.”
I hate to be the one to break this to you, dude, but as a general rule, women don’t pretend to virulently hate men they’re secretly in love with as some sort of elaborate courtship ritual. That’s a trope we made up to justify why the male protagonist always gets the girl in the end even when it’s starkly at odds with prior characterisation. In real life, if she acts like she thinks you’re a creep, it’s because she thinks you’re a creep!
one of the biggest issues i have with edward avila’s video is at the beginning he admits he’s not that into girl groups because they “all look the same” and honestly that’s the biggest red flag for me. throw away all his bs about korean beauty standards which deflects from the fact that he, himself, doesn’t see these women as individual human beings deserving respect and consideration. because the moment an idol like kyla is shown as being different from that homogenous “norm,” avila and many other consumers take issue. this is why it’s so hard for women, in kpop and in every other aspect of life, really.
men aren’t held to the same standard, they aren’t hated for being different, and are allowed to push boundaries with little to no resistance. soft stomachs on men are called cute, fans cheer them on for eating. fans appreciate abs while at the same time wish the male idols would get more rest. sizes are hardly discussed if at all. masculinity and femininity are simultaneously praised for male idols, but for female idols it’s not really the same. the second a woman challenges that ideal, people jump to the mic stand to tell them why they’re wrong, why this situation is “different,” why it’s that woman’s “job” to adhere to the given standard rather than challenge it, and that’s a true crime.
It astounds me how often we fail at being able to comprehend two complex concepts at the same time.
I’ve been seeing this post going around in two forms, about how Rogue One (which I have yet to see, so please NO SPOILERS) has an extreme lack of women (including background characters). That’s a really good, important point to discuss. And then there’s a post bashing that same article, pointing to the fact that the film highlights many non-white men and dismissing the article as white feminism.
Both of these may be correct.
The ability of a film to have great representation for men of different races, creeds, abilities and backgrounds does not for a moment contradict the inability of the film to have adequate representation for women of any race, creed, ability or background.
This is why I hate the “trash fire” all-or-nothing mentality. It cannot cope with the notion that something can be good and bad at the same time, in different corners and contexts. For example: something can be great for racial representation and terrible for LGBTQ+ representation. The former does not automatically make the thing great; the latter does not automatically make the thing terrible. (Key word: automatically.)
Not only that, things can have different meanings to different people based on their different experiences. For someone mixed race Asian-white, a main character like Chloe Bennet’s on Agents of SHIELD may be hugely important. For someone black, the show’s troubling history of killing off most of its black characters may be deeply problematic. Neither is wrong.
Personal experiences shape our interpretations of things. Experiences are not universal. The world is not comprised of absolutes. The stunning lack of women in film (at every layer) intersects, of course, with the stunning lack of non-white people in film (at every layer), but neither is more or less important than the other. (Especially since the doubly stunning lack of non-white women in film is something we should talk about more.) It is not “white feminism” to point out that a film with ten character posters had only one devoted to a (white) woman (even if she is the lead), just because the remaining men are non-white. Nor is it misogynistic to appreciate the film’s focus on (male) non-white heroes.
Today I found my sister working out and was confused as to why. She’s only 14 and should be mixing weird ice cream flavors and going to hang out with friends not doing yoga and 10 minute intense ab workouts. So i asked her why she was exercising and she replies ‘to get in shape’. I was a little upset by this because shes only 14, why should she worry about body image? Shes already thin so i was worried she was harming herself.
Before i gave her the ‘society’s expectations for the physical appearance of women is bullshit’ speech i asked why
And do you know what she said?
“I wanna kick ass”
She wasnt working out to get the perfect summer bod, she was working out to fucking KICK ASS. She said that she wanted to learn martial arts n shit but first she wanted to punch like a hard ass and impress everyone with her muscles
And i was so damn shocked. Now all it seems girls work out for is an hourglass figure and a flat stomach but no, this 14 year old just wants to be strong enough to kickass.
Society tells us that our bodies have to be this perfect replica of friggin Jessica Rabbit. It tells us that the only reason we should work out is to get skinny. It tells us that girls with more weight than others need to diet and jog 5 km a day.
Why should we as women exercise and diet to get the perfect, skinny hourglass body, big butt, and big boobs figure to please men and society??
If we’re going to exercise shouldn’t it be for our OWN benefit? To kick ass? To feel strong, confident and pretty?
Instead of pretending to know what gluten is and hating our bodies, shouldn’t we love them?
Ladies, if you’re going to exercise and diet do it because you want to, not because of unrealistic body portrayals of women.
Do it because you love yourself
Do it to become strong
Do to to become confident
Do it because you want to show off your muscles
Do it like a girl, like a 14 year old girl.
I already drew Sinfjotle and Godmundr from Norse mythology but I wanted to make a comic that really illustrated how stupid their shouting match in the Eddas is. It’s mostly Sinfjotle calling Godmundr a whore because he likes to bottom and Godmundr calling Sinfjotle an animal because he lived like one as a kid. There’s also some stuff about both of them sleeping with lower class and old women.
It should also be noted that Sinfjotle and his men are compared to wolves while Godmundr and his army are compared to horses. Both animals are sacred to some extend in Norse mythology and they’re both liked by Odin (Even though Godmundr is a jotun which is why he can get pregnant. Think of Loki), so neither of them were supposed to be the bad guy in this.
So yeah, it’s just two guys who used to be in a serious relationship but broke up and now they hate each other. A tale as old as time.
And yes, it does indeed end with Sinfjotle flipping the fuck out and his brother telling him to calm down.
Most notable event. Hansol casually came out as asexual and my love for him has somehow multiple just when I thought I couldn’t love him any more.
It pretty much went something like this:
Fan: “Do you love me?”
Fan: “Will you marry me?”
Fan: “Why not?”
Hansol: “I’m asexual. You guys know asexual? I don’t like men or women. I want to live alone.”
I love him so much.
If I find out this post gets Hansol hate I’ll probably delete this post and then run to protect him. Just so you know what happened.
Update/Edit: He also said he was thinking about it for a long time and it’s part of the reason the shipping made him so uncomfortable
Edit: Deleted a paragraph ‘cause it was misleading and some thought I was gloating. Originally was gonna’ edit to make my message more clear, decided it would be a bit forced when I tried to think of wording, decided the post as a whole would be better without it. I reblogged this once with an explanation if you really want to see though.
There is literally no reason for asexuals to Not be included in the LGBTQ+ community
Simply put, it just makes sense.
1: Ace people face very similar issues to many other LGBTQ+ folks (compulsory heterosexuality, corrective rape, abuse in relationships/at home/by friends bc of sexuality, heteronormativity, stigma, pathologisation etc). These are simply facts.
1.5: Also try asking yourself, why are you okay with calling bad treatment of overweight people “fatphobia” but not bad treatment of aroace people “aphobia”? It’s simply an easy to use term that is well established in the community. Also the argument that ace people don’t experience discrimination and oppression the same was other LGBTQ+ people do falls kind of flat, bc neither do lesbians in comparison to bisexual men, or nonbinary trans people in comparison to bisexual women. (Also please stop calling yourselves “aphobes”, make “i hate ace people” “””jokes”””, or compare us to mike pence and similar (yes ive seen this). I am, like many other aces, queer. it’s really insensitive, it’s rude, it makes me and many others feel awful and betrayed by our own community. Just, please stop).
2: Ace people don’t “steal” or take resources from other LGBTQ+ folks. If an ace person is homeless, then they do need shelter (like, if a gay person is homeless for a reason unrelated to their sexuality, for example chronical physical illness, then are they “stealing” LGBTQ+ resources? No. They’re not). And if an ace person is suicidal etc bc of their sexuality, then they do need that LGBTQ+ suicide hotline. If it is like you all say, that ace people don’t need these resources, then they won’t take them either. Simple as that.
3: And no, the full acronym isn’t necessarily LGBTQ. the acronym has changed A Lot throughout the years. from “gays and lesbian association” to what it is today, with a lot of acronyms and variants before that and on the journey till today. Accepting those in need and those similar to us is just how this community naturally evolves!
3.5: …And no, this doesn’t mean that pedophiles, zoophiles, and “kinky” people will be allowed into the community. Those aren’t sexual orientations and you know it. And they are not oppressed, discriminated against, or unfairly treated in society. This I have trouble expressing in English but I think you all get what I mean.
4: That argument generally is pretty USA centric. In many countries the current official acronym is in fact HBTQ (in popular media and newspaper), and HBTQ+ by official HBTQ+ organisations and other educated people! and many countries use different terminology entirely based on their language and history.
5: And no, there is no reason to exclude ace people bc “they’re our oppressors” bc guess what? Ace people are more often than not not straight (They are only straight if they choose to use the split attraction model, identify as either heteroromantic asexual or heterosexual aromantic, and identify as straight. You do not get to choose an ace person’s labels and erase their identity.), they don’t have hetero privilege (straight passing isn’t a privilege remember). also:
5.5: Cis people oppress trans people. White peoples oppress POC. Abled people oppress disabled people. And we share the community anyway, right? Sadly, it’s not a 100% safe space for all people. It’s too a diverse community for that. However, that doesn’t mean that we can exclude people based on that! Of course, ace people can’t speak over gay people on gay issues, the same way gay people can’t speak over trans people on trans issues.
6: Ace people are already accepted into the LGBTQ+ community by most people and organisations etc who know about aroace people. Both online and offline. We get taught about it in sex ED in school as such, official pride organisations include it in their commercials and information etc, and ace people are welcome and will in fact Not be hunted or targeted by other LGBTQ+ folks at pride! Generally speaking, this is tumblr phenomenon and something most regular pride goers don’t even know about.
Just making my stance on this matter clear on this subject bc recently I’ve seen a huge rise in discourse and nasty people saying terrible things, on both sides mind you, but yeah. My opinions, incomplete and defintely open to change. (And before you people go off a note, I’m ace, bi, and trans).
Not to be that bitch but I am going to be that bitch but like why do so many kpop fans hate on girl groups? I don’t get it? The majority of the kpop fandom are girls/women. There are a lot of fangirls that hate on girl groups like wtf is your deal? You’re a WOMAN the least you can do is support these WOMEN that are succeeding and making a name for themselves. There are so many dislikes on girlgroup mvs and its so heartbreaking. These women work as equally as hard as the men and they still get shit for it. Just because its not your style or you hate cute concepts doesn’t give you the right to bash on them as creators. I’m not saying to stan them I’m just saying to stop hating on them.
i am burned out of telling people i deserve to live, deserve to gain, deserve to survive. i don’t have it in me anymore. people come at me and say all kinds of shit, high on their own poison. how it’s gay privilege we have gay pride festivals “to celebrate liking dick”. how it’s woman privilege to get free drinks at bars, how wage gaps are myths, how we lie about everything, how sexual assault ruins lives - the accused is the real victim. how it’s hispanic privilege to steal jobs that belong to white men, how latin women like me are exotic and if i date a white boy it’s because i know latin men would leave. how my mental illness is just a faked box i’m checking for attention points, how i use it to weasel out of things, how i’m just lazy.
and i can’t, anymore. i watch it happen and i just say “okay.” i’ve tried talking about it. the slow education of spat words. going through the same syllabus, patient and friendly. if i get a little angry, i’m just another example of why they should hate a minority. if i get frustrated because they’re not using logic - well isn’t that problem with me. and if i start yelling - that’s it. they’re not listening. i’m the bad guy because i disagree.
when i teach six year olds, i make sure to teach them how to say “i was wrong, and i’m sorry.” something in this lesson escapes adults: the ability to back down is impossible for them. if they lose ground, they’ll do anything to regain traction. it’s better to be angry and wrong than consider what being wrong means about them. this is, i think, because they know “being bigoted means you’re a bad person”, and they can’t see themselves in that light without guilt. “i’m not homophobic but.” “i’m not racist but.” “i’m not a bigot.” minorities know what this means before a sentence: i don’t want to be seen as a bad person, but i want to hold onto bad beliefs.
and i’m tired of it. i’m tired of walking people through things they could easily google, but won’t. i’m tired of arguing with people about whether or not my existence is less than their own. i’m tired of “discussions” that are really one person asking me to defend my own experiences, of them attacking me, of me having to be angelic and peaceful or else they’ll stop listening.
and the worst? i know all of this “discussing” is wasting my time. either they want to understand or they don’t, it has nothing to do with me. either i’m right and you feel like a bad person or you’re right and i’m just whiny. i don’t make a difference, not really. they’re not coming to me because they want to know more. they’re coming to me because they like having power. control. reminding me that my voice doesn’t matter. that they hold all the cards.
someone asked once why i don’t ever post hatemail. in a better narrative, i don’t like spreading negativity, or maybe i rise above all that, or maybe it’s just better for me. but in the end i think it’s because it can be from forty different people and all sound like the same person. i get it, i think, you hate me.
why do people, namely men, act like fat girls are impossible to love? i hate to burst this bubble you’re living in, but fat girls can be in loving relationships, fat girls are approached, fat girls have sex (and don’t suffocate the person), fat girls are fawned over, admired, desired, and flirted with. and, yes, even by “conventionally attractive” and thin people. im tired of reading shit implying fat women are lower tier, a charity case, or second choices. just because you, personally, don’t find fat women attractive doesn’t mean yo boy jerimiah didn’t wear a pair of fat legs as earmuffs last week.
I didn’t post the source originally because nothing on my blog gets more than like, 5 notes.
This is from a college campus. Here’s my interpretation:
“Women, you are always victims and there’s no way you could ever possibly hurt a man. Society loves you and cares about you, stay safe and be careful around those dangerous men!”
“Men, you’re monsters and latent rapists so keep it in your pants and don’t even look at a woman the wrong way. The best thing you can be is a meat shield. Oh and we’ll throw in number 10 for you, but we didn’t tell women anything about your consent and they can’t rape you so it’s really just a throw away.”
Fuck you to whoever wrote these. You do not give a shit about men. Stop pretending with your pathetic, bullshit attempt at number 10. I would have preferred it if you were more honest and just told us that we were rape machines that can’t be sexually assaulted because what a woman wants matters more, even if she wants to fuck one of us and then charge us with rape because she doesn’t want her boyfriend to find out she cheated. How the fuck do people wonder why men are checking out? It’s this shit right here. HERE is your answer.
When men end up as despondent shells of human beings that are too frightened to even hint at their desires, this will be why. When men are terrified of anything sexual, this will be why. When men are terrified of women, this will be why. When men hate themselves, this will be why. When men kill themselves, this will be why.
Society has sent men a very clear message. We are monsters. Women are angels. We are bullet proof. Women are glass. We have no feelings. Women have more emotions than we could possibly understand. We are disposable. Women must be protected at all cost. Our lives do not matter. The lives of women do.
Feminists, if feminism is for equality, then please, for the love of god, stand up and say something about this. If you don’t, you empowered women will end up with a generation of men that are dead inside. I want a future of strong and capable men and women. I’d certainly be desperately sad if I was looking at a future where the woman I might some day fall in love with was but a shell of her former self by the time I met her. I want to stand shoulder to should with her and take on the world. I’d tear down anything that stood in the way of that. So please, step up and help put a stop to this.
Or, are you the ones encouraging it? And if you are, how in the hell is this equality?
Sincerely, a man who’s trying not to become a shell.