this is why we need fat acceptance

Fat shaming — not lack of willpower — is why so many Americans struggle with their weight

  • Seemingly well intentioned instances of fat shaming — like discouraging someone from eating dessert or saying they need to be more active — are socially acceptable because they’re framed as concern.
  • But in a sick twist, fat shaming is proven to be counterproductive. 
  • The language we use to talk about weight and the assumptions we make based on a person’s size can contribute to more weight gain and less self care, like seeking medical attention. 
  • Fat shaming can spike stress hormones that can increase weight gain.  Read more
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4 Stages of Dealing with Haters; 

  1.  …what… did you just say to me?
  2.  Don’t worry, I’ll wait. I’ll let you finish. 
  3.  Ya done? You got all that out? I don’t know who hurt you, or why you feel the need to spread that negativity, but you need to get all of it together and nip it in the bud because I. Don’t. Have. Time. For. Your. Negativity. No one does.
  4. Now that we got that settled, wanna join me for a friendship s'more?? There’s no need to hold grudges XD
Body positivity

“Just work out and get thin and stop eating and you will love yourself”

“Stop complaining about being fat, it’s your fault, just stop eating”

“If you just work out more and eat less you will love yourself”


This is what people tell me when I say I want to accept my body for what it is.

I want to be healthy, I AM healthy. I exercise and I have a healthy diet. I am playing all my cards right, yet still I am overweight. I have always been overweight.

I have had periods in my life where I stopped eating, I cut myself where nobody could see, I hated myself so much I just wanted to die.
And even though I didn’t see any drastic changes whilst starving myself, people said “have you lost weight? You look great!”
I may have looked “great” or in that case “less fat, skinnier,smaller” or whatever.
But on the inside, I had never felt that bad in my life. I was falling apart as a person. And I hated everything about myself.
The “compliments” I got just hurt me more. I wasn’t great, I didn’t look great, they didn’t see my scars or my pain. It just hurt me.

But at a point I couldn’t do it anymore. It just hurt so much. I started eating again, healthy, and I might have put on a few pounds.
No more compliments about my weight no “have you gain weight? You look great!” Compliments. Because you don’t compliment someone for gaining weight, no, because In our society gaining weight is something bad…

My mom did comment on my small gain tho, she said “have you gained weight? Are you ok?”
In fact , I was ok. I was feeling better. A lot better about myself. I could do things again, because I had the energy I didn’t have when I didn’t eat. I could wear shorts without worring about my scars showing, they where healed. That comment did hurt me tho.
because I had gained weight people assumed I wasn’t ok. Because, again, gaining weight is shameful and ugly.

What I am trying to say here is, losing weight is not they key to happiness. (But If you are doing it right, if you are working out and eat healthy, then of course losing weight can make you feel better about yourself. ) don’t ever hurt your body to achieve something, it doesn’t work. You won’t magically get happy if you starve yourself thin. You will still hate yourself as much, or maybe more than before.
You have to be kind, take small steps, feel your body and what it needs. Does it need more exercise, then start doing some exercise, cut down on the sugar maybe. But don’t forget to treat yourself once I a while. Dont torture yourself. Don’t hate yourself for what you can’t do, celebrate what you can do. You ran to the buss this morning and made it in time for work? That’s great!! You did one push up? That’s awesome! Maybe you could get have done that last week.
Small steps. Small achievements.

I still struggle, every day, to love myself. And this is not because I am not accepting my body, it’s because other people arent. It’s because other people look at me and assume I am unhealthy and lazy. It’s because magazines tells me that nobody will love me if I’m fat.
But I love me, and I love my body. It’s just really really hard, because in our society I am not allowed to.
This is why we need body positivity.

youtube

Fuck bikini season. THIS is why we need to get our shit together and live healthier lives. 

you have to be pretty

Girls have to spend so much money to buy “feminine things”: tampons, menstrual cups, shaving products, make up, lingerie, cute clothes.
Girls have to spend so much time exercising in order to “get in shape”, portion controlling because gaining weight is something that should be avoided at all costs, shaving because body hairs looks gross on girls.
It’s draining, it really is, emotionally and mentally, always striving for perfection, trying to change your body because everyone around tells you it is wrong.
You’re not doing it because you want to, but because you’re afraid no one will ever love you if you don’t.
It’s wrong to accept yourself as you are because you should never be content with what you are.
Being aware of your self-worth is not attractive, especially if you don’t fit in nowadays beauty standards.
That’s out number one worry, the constant voice in the back of our heads telling us we’re not enough.
I, as a girl, have to look pretty all of the time. 
My mum demands me to wear makeup and “look presentable” when I go out with her.
She frowns when she sees me lying on my bed in my pj, messy hair and no makeup on, because I don’t look good
Girls are afraid to go out barefaced because we are teached from a very young age our natural state is something to be ashamed of.
And what drives me up the motherfucking wall is to see guys strolling across the street with stained t-shirts, sweatpants and facial hairs without feeling self-conscious.
They can do that. They can have fizzy hair, dark circles, pimples, a fat tummy, hairs everywhere. That’s normal.
They can roll out of bed and hit the streets without feeling like a fuckin’ trashcan.

I can’t do that.
Girls can have fizzy hair, dark circles, pimples, a fat tummy, hairs everywhere. That’s normal, that’s out body works. But we can’t look ugly. We can’t go outside not giving a damn because people will think we’re not attractive and we can’t bear it.
We can’t stand it because we are told the male gaze is the measurement of our worth

I’m a girl and therefore I should look pretty.
If I don’t I’m wrong

This is so sick I’m going to throw up.

anonymous asked:

I'm so sick of seeing all these people in the "body positive" movement shitting on thin people. What about the “thin” girls with eating disorders and body dysmorphia? And not to mention, not all thin girls look like the ones on billboards or magazine covers. In fact, 99% of us don't. We get cellulite and stretch marks, too. We feel insecure, too. We get picked on, too. So kindly get off your high fucking horse and stop assuming we don’t struggle just like you.

I never once said thin people don’t struggle with their image and get made fun of. But it is fat people who get made fun of more. 

Your more likely to be made fun of if your fat than thin because it is more socially acceptability to be thin. 

That is why we need the fat acceptance community and its supporters because the thin acceptance community is already accepted in society and is pretty much the norm

Yesterday, my niece was worried about her Skittles not being healthy. She’s five. This is why we need body positivity and fat acceptance. We’ve got five year olds well on their way to eating disorders because of how disgustingly paranoid about “eating healthy” our culture has gotten. Five year olds should not be worried about health. They should be worried about what crayon to use or which slide to go down. Reblog this if you agree that small children shouldn’t be worried about such things, but allowed to be happy.

Fat Acceptance Causes Rage

Someone I know wrote this and wanted I to share it. I think that it really puts into perspective the “plight” of obese people. I have only altered this for formatting.

Dear fat people,

I hate you. And I want you to know exactly why.

Firstly, I hate you because you throw away daily the life I beg every second of every day I could have, in more than one way. Let me elaborate:

I was born in a shithole European country during Soviet era. We went through famine, war, communism, insane female oppression, poverty, sky high murder rates, corruption, almost zero opportunity to grow and get an education (especially as a girl). You name it, we went through it. Actually, we still do. We are Russia’s little toy in the East.

Now what does that have to do with you, fatties? Well, most of you are Westerners. American. I love America. I came here about ten years ago and earned my residency through hard work, study and dedication. You have freedom, true freedom. You never experienced war in your territory. You’ve never experienced famine in your lifetime. You have no fucking clue what it is to go without. You have zero fucking idea what it is when no hospital in your state has an x ray machine. You have no damn clue what its like when someone is bombing your neighborhood and your family is next. You don’t know what its like to know that amongst your female friends only 1 in about 16 or less will ever finish HIGH SCHOOL, let alone college. You have free GOOD education. You have shit like athletic scholarships. Teens can afford CARS. They can get JOBS. Young adults can work and get HOUSES. To us, those things you take for granted every day are surreal. SURREAL. Where I am from, about 30% of children in my region are diagnosed with thyroid cancer before age 12. TWELVE. In America, you have the Worlds best healthcare and most access to healthy food, fitness and INFORMATION.

We could have it worse. In Gomel, near us, 99% of all soil is radioactive. Only ONE in TEN children are born healthy. READ AGAIN. Only ONE IN TEN CHILDREN ARE BORN HEALTHY.

Almost everyone is born into this shit circumstances, yet few complain. We have a different view of things. Individualism is not something we are taught, we are taught that what we do on our own affects the collective, therefore we must be the best version of ourselves in order for the entire nation to SURVIVE. And we’ve been fighting for self determination slowly but surely. We don’t accept fat people there because the sheer SELFISHNESS needed for one to overeat while others STARVE would be seen by the collective as a terrible action. And we CARE about each other enough. That’s the first reason why I hate you.

Now on to the second reason why I hate you: I am only 27 years old. I struggled with my health my entire life through no fault of my own. I have a blood disorder that got me pulmonary embolisms at 24. I had leukemia at 16. And thanks to radiotherapy after effects, years later, now I was just diagnosed with adrenal insufficiency. My pituitary gland deep inside my brain, is useless. I produce no cortisol. Cortisol, one of the EXCUSES you people use to explain away why you’re so fat. Thanks to my pituitary being shot, my thyroid is also useless. Its if I didn’t have it. I produce NO hormones whatsoever. No sexual hormones, no ACTH. No cortisol. No TSH, No T3, T4, no GH, prolactin, estrogen, nothing. I have two benign tumors inside my brain that they can’t operate on. I’m in constant pain. I’m on CORTICOSTEROIDS. You also use that to say that MEDS MADE YOU FAT BCS PREDNISONE. I had to take that IV every 6hrs in the ICU, twice this summer. I now have adrenal insufficiency for life thanks to that. On chemo. I don’t feel the least bit sorry for myself.

The kicker? I’m 5'7", 108lbs. At my highest in the ICU I was 138lbs and panicking. All fluids. Lost within a week. I danced ballet my entire life. Now I can’t. Everything hurts. I still do all I can. I refused to not eat vegan because of my ethics, even on chemo (doc agrees). I refused to stop exercising, even if its swimming, because I believe throwing away the gift of my body is to spit on the gift of life.

I’m not religious. But after seeing all I’ve seen in life, after seeing my father die of an auto immune disease himself with dignity and after being a medical student (something I had to give up on as well, because illness) and seeing the pain of several patients, I believe it is my duty to really, truly HONOR my body. It is everyone’s duty.

So tell me, white, American, midde to upper class women who write on Tumblr…how big is your struggle? How are you really honoring your body? How are you helping other women? Not women like you, not the limes who write for Jezebel, no. The ones who are going through FGM, the lesbian sisters going through corrective rape, the sisters here in the states who are terribly impovireshed and going through starvation and illiteracy and horrible domestic violence (heard of Appalachia?), the women of color dealing with horrible racism under your nose who have no voice in your own movement, the Natice women being driven out of their lands in South America, the child brides and child prostitutes here and abroad? The victims of human trafficking, male and female, the girls from my country who are stolen from orphanages and sold into sexual slavery or left there to rot in cribs? Are you writing blog posts for THEM? Are you speaking for those women? Who is? For what women is your struggle?! What type of “feminist” are you?!

Are you healthy? Probably WAY MORE than I am. You shout it from the rooftop, too. That’s why I hate you. Because you’re doing ALL YOU CAN to destroy that health, and I’d give my left arm to BE YOU. I was born unlucky, id have given the world to be born in your place and there you are, complaining.

Illness took away my medical school. My father. My health. My ability to have children. 20 years of my lifespan.

You have everything. And you waste it. You fucking waste it. And you make a mockery out of the real oppressed and sick and abused people by comparing us to you. You have no struggles.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

The words are strong but I think that they really are powerful. How do you feel reading them? This is not meant to spark hate or anger, but to facilitate discussion on a matter of growing importance. I’m sure someone will ask “How is this not supposed to inspire anger or hate? Look at the words!” but if you’re going to default to that, then you really missed the point the author was trying to make. Please try to address what is being said, not the specific word choice.

Why We Need The Fat Acceptance Community
  • So fat people feel better about themselves 
  • So fat people feel like normal people and not to be made fun of
  • To show that fat bodies are not fetish items
  • To fight fatphobia
  • To show that fat people can wear what they want without feeling bad
  • To show that fat people can eat what they want without feeling bad
  • To show that the word fat is not a bad word or an insult
  • To show the numbers on the scales or the amount of fat a human has on there body does not define them.
  • To show that fat people can find love too at any size
  • To show fat people who to defend themselves against fatphobia 
  • To show signs of fatphobia
  • To give fat people a safe space to get away from the abuse and discrimination they suffer in the everyday life

Commission for Ticklebeast, from Inkbunny.

This is the first time I dare to draw some tickles related, the first one that I accepted as a commission because it was a completaly clean idea.
I couldn’t help to draw this little fatty raccoon very similar between Pablo my red panda and Art my raccoon, I think it could be a cute idea.

Do you like tickles? I’m so ticklish so for me this is like a torture, but I need to confess sometimes I like when someone else tickles me.
It’s somethin really strange, why we laugh when most of times we are suffering with tickles??

How Giving Myself A Break Has Lead to Weight Loss, Sobriety, and Dungeon Mastery.

 I’m losing a lot of weight lately, without really trying. I’m not really “exercising” either. I’m just going for long rambling walks by the river, climbing trees, and playing outside. I’m eating better food, but I cook with real butter. I stopped drinking soda and beer in favor of club soda with frozen fruit in it (I call it “girl water”) but I still have a starbucks frappe or an ice cream on occasion and I don’t make myself feel bad about it.

Well how much weight have you lost “playing outside” you ask? 

I don’t know. I’m not weighing myself but all my jeans are really baggy. I feel lighter and sexy.

 I quit drinking. I’m not going to AA, I’m not counting days, and If I really want a drink I’ll have one. If I have a beer, there isn’t any point in drinking all of the beer that there is, because I did the thing I said I wouldn’t do and now everyone will know I’m a weak willed piece of shit, so why not just go on a week long bender? Why not? 

Because I don’t really want to drink so much anymore. Or at all really. 

 I had a really thirsty moment at a bowling alley last weekend. It was my boyfriends best-friends wife’s birthday. Not knowing her or her friends made me nervous. Booze has always been a social lubricant for me. Bowling Alley beer is so cheap. I really wanted a beer. 

 I didn’t have one because, I knew that I could have one if I REALLY wanted it. What I WAS really wanting was, to not to be nervous meeting new pretty girls who were all very good friends. 

 It turns out my “nervous to meet new people” looks cool and aloof, which is way more attractive than my “over-friendly drunk” look.

I was able to say no to a dysfunctional-self-medicating beer because I could, if I wanted, have a beer. I let myself be nervous, I leaned in, I gave myself a break.  

 I have always wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons. When I was a kid I knew some older boys who would take up a booth in the corner of our local Waffle House, smoking cigarettes and drinking black coffee, playing Dungeons and Dragons into the wee hours of the morning. I thought they were so cool. (This was before they started showing us what dead smoker lungs look like in school. Do they still do that? They should. They also showed us pictures of genital warts and told us how to use condoms. Just Sayin) They wouldn’t let me play with them because I was too young, a girl, and silly. I was a silly little girl.

 My interest in Dungeons and Dragons has been reawakened by the 5th edition. It is really great of Wizards of the Coast to provide a free printable pdf of the basic rules. Otherwise I wouldn’t have let myself start this exciting new hobby. One of the things that always stopped me from playing Dungeons and Dragons was the need for a person to run the game. Finding people to play D&D is easy, finding someone who wants to put in the work to prepare a game is the hard part. 

I mean I would do it if… if what? If I can give myself a break. It turns out I don’t need to come up with a perfect epicly complete world right off rip. It’s a cooperative game. We’re telling the story together. My friends were WAY into the roleplaying aspect of the game and we’re learning the rules of combat and magic as we go. 

My point is there has always been this voice in my head telling me I’m fat and weak. Telling me I’m stupid and that girls aren’t good at math. How hard is it to accept your own body, accept yourself, accept other people and the laws of physics. (Why can’t I fly if I’m thinking happy thoughts?)  It’s as hard as shucking off an insidious wet blanket made of your parents/society’s expectations and who knows how many internalized CoverGirl commercials and their ilk. 

 I want to be healthier, so I’m eating better. I want to play outside like I did when I was a kid, so I do. I’m tired of being a “fun girl” because… It’s way awkward being around people so I drink too much and make sloppy promises to pay for a friends wedding, or steal garden gnomes, or throw a TV off a parking garage. So I don’t really drink anymore. 

I’ve stopped punishing myself. 

I DONT CARE IF THIS DOESN’T MATCH MY ACCOUNT BUT...

Can we please just talk about how parents can greatly impact a child’s self-esteem? Why can’t they just love their kid as who they are, what they look like, how they act, etc. I’ve seen parents tell their own kids that ‘you should wear makeup to cover your face’ , ‘ you’re getting fat’, 'you should go on a diet’, 'you can’t wear that’, etc. Why? It’s not gonna help anyone when talking about your kid’s 'flaws’. Why can’t you accept that your kid is naturally chubby? Why can’t you accept that your kid is just not into skirts or cars or toy robots? You can’t force them into doing stuff or being someone they’re not without the kids themselves hating themselves or thinking they’re not good enough to be accepted. I know people who even get depression because of their parents unintentionally shaming them! We really need to stop the shaming, because every one of you is beautiful in your own way. Please please please reblog this because I genuinely want this to stop. We all need to appreciate how special each and every one of us is in our own unique way and I don’t want any of you to think you’re not good enough because you don’t need that negativity in your life. 

Tumblr, listen.

Being fat, in and of itself, does not automatically make a character fat positive.

I’ve been seeing this worrying trend where people will try to take any fat character and turn them into an empowerment icon, and it needs to change.

Fat representation is not just about how many fat characters there are in the media, it’s about how they’re being represented. It’s about whether or not harmful tropes are being subverted or perpetuated.

Not every fat character needs to be embraced as fat positive, nor should they be. Especially not uncritically, which (as I said) I feel like tumblr has been doing for a long time. We need to stop trying to shoehorn every single fat character that gets chucked at us by the media into a fat positive role, and start looking at them critically.

If a character is themed around a pig and he murders innocent people for fun, he (Roadhog) isn’t a fat positive character. If a character is vindictive, mean, and steps on other people to boost her own self-esteem, she (LSP) isn’t a fat positive character.

I mean, if you didn’t know who I was referring to, and you just had my descriptions to go by, would you blame me for not wanting to be represented by those characters?

Stop trying to act like they are, or that you’re doing us a favor by trying to make them fat positive icons.

And guys, they aren’t real people!! They don’t exist! We need to stop treating them as if they’re going to tear up and cry if we don’t support them. You seem to think you’re doing a good thing by embracing ALL fat characters, even the NEGATIVE ones… they’re your children, they must be protected at all costs, etc etc… but you aren’t. You’re sending the media a message that we don’t care how we’re represented, just that we’re so desperate just to SEE our bodies that we’ll accept any depiction of a fat body, no matter how it’s depicted.

How does that help us? How does that improve how we’re perceived? Do we need to start seeing a resurgence of Fat Bastards, Rasputias and Mr. Creosotes before we realize what we’re doing wrong? We’re already seeing that in characters like Roadhog, (who is pretty much why I wrote this) so it looks like we’re heading that way.

I wonder what kinds of soppy, apologetic headcanons people would make for Fat Bastard.

…You see my point?

Gah.

Why do so many people paint issues as being completely black and white?!

You’re either a conservative or a communist, there’s nothing in between.

If you’re not a feminist you’re a misogynist.

If you’re not a member of the LGBT community you’re ‘cishet scum’.

If you’re not a PoC or you’re a racist shitlord. 

People think in order to promote ‘fat acceptance’ we can’t have slim female characters at any point ever.

People think that ‘representation’ means every single character needs to be from a minority group.

And then there’s the hypocricy of some of the counterarguments to these ideas.

People are arguing that ‘feminism is a hate movement’ by being hateful to anybody calling themselves a feminist.

People are arguing against fat acceptance by body shaming people who are trying their best to lose weight.

People are promoting awareness of men’s issues but at the same time they are denying women’s issues exist altogether.

I thought the idea behind ‘social justice’ was to promote a fairer and better world - not to create more division.

anonymous asked:

Why do you accept submissions/reblog cosplays of thin Rose Quartz? She is supposed to be fat and it's not right.

For a lot of reasons actually.
People can’t easily change their body type to fit the needs of one certain cosplay.
People can like characters for different reasons, they can relate to them even without having the same physique.

But most of all, because we want everyone to feel valued and important; no matter their size, no matter their skill level, no matter what! Their cosplays deserve to be posted here just as much as the next person. Cosplayers spend a lot of time and effort (and money) on doing what they love and being characters that they like, and we’re not going to just pick and choose who gets to be featured here.

And as a larger Rose cosplayer myself, I see no problem with skinny cosplayers! Rose Quartz is my favorite character and I’m honestly just so happy to see such a diverse set of people share the same love for her as I do! 
I realize this might just be my opinion, but I hope there are others out there who feel the same.

Cosplaying should be for all and I would like to think that a show so diverse and beautiful as Steven Universe would be more open for cosplayers of all body types. 

"I hate how sitcoms always pair hot women with FAT SLOBS"

Okay, first, let me say that I hate how Hollywood and the media basically forces women to be thin. Obviously, that is a good point and there’s no shortage of people discussing it.

But FUCK THIS VEILED FATPHOBIA, AND FUCK THE PEOPLE WHO PRESENT IT AS A PROGRESSIVE STATEMENT.

Fat people aren’t some lesser option. We should be with whomever loves us, full stop.

Maybe we ought to be asking why every factory-mold sitcom wants to replicate The Honeymooners. Maybe we should be asking why every FAT sitcom husband is portrayed as some misogynistic dolt, occasionally with an abusive, alcoholic mean streak, who looks like he was cloned from Ralph Cramden.

I get that sitcoms place unrealistic expectations on women. The whole godforsaken media does that. But can we talk about that without using fat guys as a doormat? I’d love to see a live action version of Greg Universe as the father in a sitcom. Why is someone like Greg necessary? Because there aren’t any more characters like him.

Fat guys are not stupid, boorish louts, or misogynistic cavemen. We CAN be, sure, but that’s literally all I’ve been seeing on TV since before sets went to color.

Why the fuck is that?

Fat people are diverse. We need to expect to see that represented on TV.

If you need someone to explain why having a fat character pulling food out of his neck rolls is fucked up and fatphobic, gtfo of fat acceptance or fat activism.

I don’t care how cute you thought Zootopia was, I’m tired of fat people “taking one for the team” when other people don’t have to.

And it absolutely does matter, especially since it’s being done in a kid’s movie! Some fat child is going to have to sit through that, it’s going to stick with them, and I hope to god no one ends up using that “adorable joke” against them at school the next day.

The fact that Zootopia was otherwise so charming and benign, and yet it still had to take a metaphorical golf club to the heads of fat people, shouldn’t be acceptable. The fat acceptance community of the blogosphere was never as complacent as the one on Tumblr.

But we are complacent, and I’m fucking sick of it.

Just like with Jessica Jones.

Just like with Jurassic World.

Is it going to take another Norbit to get people to realize that there’s a need to talk about this shit?

Whenever there’s a hint of bigotry aimed at the LGBTQ+ community in a movie, this site doesn’t stay silent. Whenever there’s racism in a movie, I can RELY on this site not to stay quiet about it! So why the fuck is the fat acceptance community the exception?

I’m going to need Tumblr’s fat acceptance community to wake the fuck up on fatphobia in movies, because I’m tired of seeing our community do nothing but pass around fatshon photos. Clothes are super neato, but so is a fat child not cutting themselves because people keep telling them to do the goddamn Truffle Shuffle!

Y’all sure do love your UwU posts and vague references to “protecting fat kids” don’t ya? But when the sort of shit you ought to be protecting them FROM rears its ugly head, in, let’s say, a seemingly innocuous children’s cartoon or a movie about rampaging dinosaurs, you’re either nowhere to be found or you’re passing around another photoset of Tess Holiday in a jean jacket.

If it’s a medium that’s denigrating or being bigoted towards fat people, I want us fat people to make some goddamn noise about it. And right now, we’re about the quietest I’ve heard us in a long time.

anonymous asked:

I'm not sure if you think it's some sort of attack for people to make comments about your health, but there ARE people who generally care about you, but are too afraid to show you who we are, because we're afraid you'll look down on us or hate us. You are already having issues with excess water swelling in your legs. Please consider your liver and your heart. Fatty liver can effect your heart. You are young, it's as simple as losing weight. If you care about yourself, lose SOME weight.

I’m going to assume you don’t come to my blog often.  If you did, you would understand that the VAST majority of the messages or comments I get in regards to my health are not ‘concern’, but are deeply seeded in fat hatred and merely looking at me and assuming everything about my health vs actually listening to what I say about my own body.  Can you explain to me how what I wear has absolutely anything to do with my health?  No?  Cause if you actually looked at what people send me (in addition to death threats, wishing illness on me to prove a point, etc)..you would see that when I merely post a picture of myself in an outfit I like, health SOMEHOW always gets brought up.

If you genuinely are concerned for my health and actually KNOW me, perhaps you should maybe actually ya know..talk to me, maybe?  Ask me how I’m doing?  Ask me about my condition?  You’re making it seem as though we’ve actually conversed before, are friends, or perhaps even family.  

Do you know WHY I’m now having issues with swelling in my legs?  It’s because I have an underlying condition called lipedema - which is not caused by being overweight.  The cause for it is actually unknown, but it occurs during times of high hormones, which for me..was puberty.  I just thought I was fat my entire life and that’s it.  When I was younger, I tried losing weight quite often to no avail.  My habits have changed very little and I have steadily gained more weight over the years, regardless of not eating more or exercising less.  Which is odd because most people believe that I would have to steadily increase my caloric intake and be completely sedentary to maintain the weight I’m at now vs when I was 260 or so.  So I have this condition that is indeed progressive that I had never even heard of, so of course I’m not going to get preventive treatment for it.  Ya wanna know what happened from there?  The fluid.  The lipo lymphedema.  Not because I’m fat, but because I have lipedema and it’s gone undiagnosed and untreated and it’s a progressive condition.  My lymphatic system is not working properly and therefore the lymph fluid is not draining like it would in a system that is working - THAT is why I have fluid retention in my legs.  

So now comes the fun part..because apparently you really care about me, but you don’t know what I’m actually DOING or what my habits are, or what my health really is.  Apparently you’re just seeing that I’m still fat and now I have a condition and therefore it MUST be because I’m fat and apparently I’m not doing anything to help with it.  I have talked on NUMEROUS occasions about what I’m doing to help with my condition.  I have talked about how I’m doing wrapping, eventually I’ll be in compression, doing MLD/dry brushing, how I’m working towards a cleaner diet, how I’m doing low impact exercising (high impact is actually bad for lipedema in most cases).  So either you are just simply not paying attention or because I have not explicitly stated I’m looking to lose weight (which I’m not), you assume I’m not doing anything to ‘better’ myself.  Hell, a few days ago I just posted multiple videos about the walks I’ve been going on and how that’s been going.  You might also want to know that even if I do get the lipo lymphedema under control, there is no control for lipedema.  It’s a progressive condition and the fat accumulated from that can only be reduced via liposuction.  

I DO care about myself, which is why I’m not going to take kindly to something like this.  You have absolutely no idea what it’s like to have your body treated as though it’s public domain.  To have complete strangers tell you about your health, tell you that you’re going to die by the time you’re 30, tell you that if you ‘could just put down the cheeseburgers and fries’, tell you that they hope you get an illness soon so they can laugh at you, tell you that they would kill themselves if they looked like you.  To have this condition that 11% of women have and yet NO doctor I’ve seen has mentioned it to me and I’d never even heard about it up a month ago, despite having it for the upwards of 12+ years.  You have no idea what it’s like to hear stories from other fat people who hate themselves, who think they’re going to die alone, who genuinely believe they deserve the abuse and ridicule they receive, who are treated as though every single problem they have would go away if they just weren’t fat.  To have absolutely NO representation of people who look even moderately like you in media or anywhere - especially not in a positive light.  Fat people are constantly treated as though we’re subhuman and like we deserve the harassment that’s thrown at us.

So here’s the thing - because I don’t welcome comments about my health with open arms, you’re assuming I just don’t care about myself.  Since I refuse to be ashamed for the way I look or am - you assume I just don’t care about myself.  If you actually genuinely care about me - hear what I am saying to you right now.  It is because I DO care about myself that I am not ashamed and I don’t welcome these kind of comments.  It is because I know my health better than anyone stranger or friend who is not at my doctor’s appointments and who does not live in my body.  I am so damn adamant about body/fat acceptance because prior to this, I would make absolutely no effort to take care of myself.  Why the hell would I?  You don’t take care of things that you resent or hate or ashamed of.  When I hated the way I looked - I didn’t want to leave the goddamn house.  Do you honestly think that people who are told they should hate themselves want to do the things you’re saying we need to do? 
It is STILL hard for me to go out walking or go to Whole Foods or sign up for a gym because I know how fucking awful people are.  Again, you don’t know what it’s like to have your body be seen as a public display for discussion.  To have people take pictures of you to post online and make fun of with their followers or friends.  To have people not view you as another human being and rather their own entertainment.  Fat people can’t even do something like exercising (which is apparently what we should ALWAYS be doing) without facing ridicule or snide comments.  It doesn’t end.  So yeah, if you actually care about me and other fat friends or family, you might want to try making this a more pleasant world for fat people to live in.  One where they don’t feel constantly ashamed for being themselves and like it’s okay to like who they are right now.  Because I can tell you what - being made to feel like I am an embarrassment or disgusting makes me want to the exact opposite of everything you think I should.  Loving myself, loving the body I’m in right now, knowing that I deserve to take up space..has allowed me so much more freedom in making healthier decisions for myself - both physically and mentally.

If you genuinely care about me, I’m going to assume you read all of this.  I’m also going to assume that you might actually listen to what I’m saying in regards to my own body and respect that.  Maybe you can even try to talk to me about it because I am actually QUITE understanding the majority of the time.  If you read this and instead of listening you still are paying more attention to how you feel about my body, perhaps try to understand that you very well could care less about my actual well being and health and moreso how you want to perceive those because I’m fat.

thoughts on SAUL & why rae left finn to go to a party with this arsedouche

So I’m fat – have been pretty much all of my life, and also mentally ill- also for most of my life.  I have made a lot of the same mistakes rae has and is making.  

So I want to try and shed some light on a common question I’m hearing – why did rae leave finn when he was saying all that emotional stuff, to go to a party with saul?

I could, of course, be way off base, but let’s give it a try anyway. 

Saul.

I can’t re-watch that scene… but did he say he’d always dreamed of getting a piece of a big girl.  Ew.  Fetishizing arsewipe.

Ew.

Ew.

Ew.

Ok.  Ok.  Back to talking about saul.  Typical predator.  Worst thing though – because rae’s fat he thinks he’s doing her a favour. 

Ugh.  Vomit.

Shudder.

Ew.

Ok. 

There’s not much to say about saul, he’s a nothing character – it’s his actions that are more important.  And why rae fell for his shit lines, well because he told her she looked nice and NO ONE ELSE HAD.  We all love finn – but when did he tell her she’s beautiful or looked good?  There will be people saying that it’s not all about looks or bodies and we need to move away from telling women they are beautiful. 

Um.  no.

Just no.

I feel you – I understand the whole women aren’t just bodies and our worth is not defined by our appearance – and I long for a day when this is truly accepted and shown in the media and fat acceptance reigns supreme.

But.

And it’s a huge but (pun definitely intended)

The fat girl never gets told she’s beautiful.

And being told you look nice, you’re sexy, you’re beautiful – it feels is nice when it’s something that barely ever happens.  Or in rae’s place – has never happened. 

And while we are more than our bodies, us women, it’s easier to want to abolish compliments based on appearance when you’re getting them all the time.  when you never get them, it’s a very different thing.  Give us fatties some compliments too!

And while we could all see what a shitstain saul is – for rae – he was something new and miraculous – a guy who obviously liked her physically.  And that is part of the reason why she left finn to go to the party.  The other part of it was a disbelief that someone as perfect as finn could like/love her – so even as his eyes beg her to give him a reason to stay – it never crosses her mind that she’s the reason she could give – instead her mind freezes and she just knows that she can’t say anything to change this.  Also I think that rae probably thought that finn was literally saying – I have nothing to stay for – rather than – please tell me I have something to stay for.  It was telling her that he was finally over her – he had nothing left here.  Because she couldn’t believe that he could still have feelings for her – why would he – she’s fat.  And all of these realisations and feelings - they feel like shit.  So what feels good – what can I do to kill this bad feeling – to get away from this pain?  I know – saul… he’ll say nice things about me to me – and I can believe what he says cos he isn’t that fit.  Maybe he’s more what I deserve. 

She wants to feel attractive, sexy, and as beautiful as chloe… I understand that ache.  The ache to be desirable.  Saul gave her that.  For a moment.

But with that there came the objectification that men often have for women – and the lack of empathy and caring for her and what she wants. 

And the bullshit attitude that fat girls just must want it from any guy.  We might want to feel desirable – but that doesn’t mean that we want to fuck anyone.  And I want to add that not all fat women feel this way at all – and some of that is thanks to the fat acceptance movement!  But I am guessing that a lot of fat girls are reading this and understanding.  I bet there are some fat girls that have let guys do stuff to them, even though it felt wrong and they didn’t want to or they weren’t ready, or they didn’t find the guy attractive, or they convinced themselves they wanted it, because of the following reasons: 1. I’m fat, who am I to say no to this? 2. I’m fat, I might never be here again. 3. I’m fat, I should be grateful he’s interested. 4. I’m fat, what if this is the best I can do? 5. I’m fat, I want to feel beautiful. 6. I’m fat, but he likes me anyway – even though I’m fat, he actually likes me! 7. I’m fat, he deserves so much better than me and if I say something, he might realise it.  8. I’m fat, I can’t play hard to get when I’m so hard to want, better just let him. 9. I’m fat.

So much of life in general is fitting in.  Don’t say it’s just a kid thing – how many people who have worked in an office, for example, have laughed at a shite joke so that they didn’t cause waves… or – so that they could fit in at work?  Now you might say – that’s different my livelihood depends on me fitting in at work.  Well to teenagers, their lives depend on fitting in.  Adults think that’s rubbish, but take a look at the teen suicide rates and tell me it’s not their lives that are dependent on feeling like they fit in somewhere.  For fat girls – it often feels like you fit nowhere.  Part of teenage life is sex and getting close to having sex and flirting and all that fun stuff – as a fat girl, you are told that you do not deserve any of this because you are ugly and fat and boys don’t like that (chloe even said this to rae – boys don’t like it).  Rae had a moment were she felt attractive.  Finn didn’t give her this – because she could never shake the feeling that she didn’t deserve him – she could never understand why he liked her – could never bring herself to believe he really did.  Why would he?  She’s fat.  She wouldn’t get naked in front of him because she was sure he’d realise what a big mistake he’d made once he saw her.  She’s sees finn as so perfect so above her – she thinks he can’t really see her – because if he did – he wouldn’t be with her.  He’d be with stacy or olivia – the thin beautiful girls.  And Olivia was quite a kick in the face for rae – a thin girl after he’d just finished dating fat her.  She’d start thinking; did he ever actually like me then?  Or was she just a blip on his radar that will fade and be forgotten?  (we all know he does love/like her – but this is from rae’s perspective, not his and not ours)

Saul though.  Saul said she looked nice.  Saul isn’t that perfect or fit.  Saul is flawed and not perfect, not up on that pedestal that finn’s on.  With saul – she can fit in and do all that boy & sex stuff.

Plus what the hell is she gonna do with finn?  He doesn’t want her right?

To me it would have been unrealistic if she didn’t go to that party

Saul made her feel like a girl – like an attractive girl. 

And he ended up being an utter fuckwad.  The story of so many girl’s lives unfortunately.  Mine included. 

To be feeling so happy and beautiful and that ends up in a rape attempt – imagine that.  The thing that bought you all that good feeling stuff is the thing bringing you all that pain. 

I wanna add that this shit was nowhere near as prevalent with the girls I dated and had sex with – it was a boy problem.  Girls I was getting it on with didn’t mind so much that I was fat – didn’t care about being seen in public with me and all that – it was boys.  Boys who were as ashamed to be with me as I was ashamed of myself just in general.  So when a boy stopped that shame for just a moment - he had far too much sway over me.  Far too much.  And that’s saul. 

i fear that we haven’t seen the last of him either.  he’ll either come for rae, or beg for forgiveness i reckon.  i think she’s got herself a stalker, he’ll think he has unfinished business.

or he’ll be at the hospital when chloe overdoses or gets into a car crash thanks to drink driving (my theories for this season are remaining the same) and that’ll start something going.

i hope rae punches him.  hard.  and then finn does - without knowing why - he just does it cos rae does.  hahahahaaa

sigh

hurry up episode 6

This is why fat acceptance is so important to me. Because I need some sort of alternative to killing myself. I think we all do, honestly.
—  Marianne Kirby on Tumblr