this is who i surround myself with

Ohmy god? I’m just realizing now that at the end of the ninjago movie, lloyd’s gonna finally be happy, be reunited with both his parents, and the city is going to love him for who he really is. And then there’s going to be a heartfelt ending scene of lloyd, smiling, surrounded by his friends and family, and the first few bars of of ‘found my place’ will start to play aND IM JUST GONNA START CRYING THERES NO WAY IM GONNA BE ABLE TO HOLD MYSELF TOGETHER NO SIR

growing up as a lesbian in an environment surrounded by straight women really alienated me from womanhood because their definition of womanhood so deliberately excluded me but learning to finally love myself amongst other lesbians that i myself am a woman who loves women really felt like a reclamation of womanhood for me

Mercury in the Houses- What are you thinking about?
  • >>> I KEEP THINKING ABOUT...
  • Mercury in the 1st: How others perceive me, how to improve myself, how to express myself better, my identity
  • Mercury in the 2nd: What is truly valuable, my talents, my resources, how to get what I want, how much I spend/gain
  • Mercury in the 3rd: If I'm making myself clear, if I know enough about something, what to learn next, favorite books
  • Mercury in the 4th: Who to protect, where is 'Home', how others feel, where I belong to, my mom, my safe haven
  • Mercury in the 5th: Romance, the outlets for my creativity, how to find happiness, what to create next, who to flirt with
  • Mercury in the 6th: How to improve my lifestyle, how not to waste my time, who needs my help, my day to day schedule
  • Mercury in the 7th: Who surrounds me, who complements me, the place others have in my life, how others want/expect me to be
  • Mercury in the 8th: Life's darkest side, what is there to be discovered, how to dig deeper, who to bond with, who to trust
  • Mercury in the 9th: Where to go, what to believe in, what to study, who to learn from & who to guide/teach, my morals
  • Mercury in the 10th: What to do with my life, my purpose, my place in the world, my accomplishments, who I can influence
  • Mercury in the 11th: My friends/groups, where I fit, how to make the difference, which bigger causes I'm fighting for
  • Mercury in the 12th: My dreams, what to hide from others, what makes me suffer the most, what to give away to charity

“when i was 12 i knew-” 

okay its great that you were #woke at 12, but you cant act like every other child around you isnt impressionable and you can condemn them the same way you can with adults.

when i was 12 i was an obnoxious anti sjw who believed in reverse racism and fetishized gay men because i was surrounded by negative online culture and bad peers. i learned to better myself when the BLM movement started and i began to follow blogs who supported it.

ive said this a million times but its still baffling for people to fail to understand that you cant just call children “impure” and harass them over things like bad political opinions and shipping drama (of course situations vary like said kid using opinions to abuse others, etc). almost everyone on this site that talks about their harmful mindsets say that it was due to their adult peers and the content they were exposed to.

you cant just label a child as problematic and call it a day, especially if they’re 14. like come on

Some Ways to Improve your Self-Confidence

1. Don’t compare yourself to others. You are totally unique, and have different talents, abilities and strengths.

2. Never criticise or put yourself down. There are plenty of others who will do that for you. You need to be your biggest, and you greatest, fan. Be understanding, gentle and kind to yourself.

3. Consciously accept every compliment you get and see them as accurate and genuinely meant. Don’t brush them off as stupid, wrong, or meaningless.

4. Keep affirming yourself until it changes how you feel. It may feel false at first when you say something like “I accept myself completely– and believe I’m valuable”. But as you constantly repeat it you’ll find that, over time, you do accept and value the person that you are.

5. Surround yourself with positive, encouraging people. If you hang out with people who always put you down, and never seem to like or approve of your ideas, then you’ll soon stop believing in yourself as well (and it will also crush your creativity).

6. Make a list of your successes and accomplishments – like playing an instrument, learning how to cook, passing an exam, graduating from high school, or getting into college, or receiving an award. Review this list often – and be proud of yourself!

7. Make a list of your positive qualities and traits. Are you an honest, reliable and caring friend? Do you make time for others? Do you try to do your best? Again, review this list often, and get into the habit of focusing on your positive qualities and traits.

8. Spend your time doing things that you are good at, and enjoy. We become more alive when we’re doing things we love - and that naturally increases our self-confidence (as we’re being our true selves and not just acting out a role).

9. Get involved. If you sit on the sidelines and avoid all challenges then you won’t be able to achieve much in life. But if you push through the feelings of anxiety and fear, then you’ll grow, be successful, and have higher self esteem.

10. Be true to yourself; live a life that’s really “you”. Don’t let other people decide what you should do, or what is best for you, or who they think that you should be. You only have one life – choose your own path – just be you!

Because I still haven’t got over how shitty Amanda’s “friends” were treating her so:

Emma R’s the one that’s been coercing everyone else to avoid and exclude Amanda because she knew that Noah actually used to have a crush on Amanda, and Emma R felt threatened, so she’d told Noah that Amanda thought he was a creep and instead convinced him to go out with her instead.

So after Amanda has that big argument with Emma R-

(”Well if you think I’m so terrible then just stop being my friend!”

“okay!”)

-she just completely stops talking to them, and Emma R. starts feeling kinda guilty, because this is her best friend after all, and they’ve known each other since they were 7, and she kinda misses her.

So one day, she’s sitting at their usual lunch table with the rest of their friends, and she’s waiting for Amanda to come in so she can apologize.

But then.

The cafeteria door opens, and in walks the school badboy, Lucien Bloodmarch, and the rest of his clique.

And he’s got an arm around Amanda’s shoulder, and she’s laughing at something he must’ve said, and she’s joking around with the others in the group, and they’re all looking at her as if she were the sun, and she fits in so well with them, like a missing piece of their puzzle.

And Emma R feels an unexpected spike of jealousy. Because that’s her best friend.

She’s so caught up in her own thoughts that she almost doesn’t hear Noah’s snide comment to Amanda as she and Lucien walk by with the rest of her group.

“Never would’ve thought badboys were your type, Amanda.”

And the group of 5 just stops short.

Amanda is confused and has no idea what Noah is talking about.

Lucien understands, but doesn’t bother to correct the guy despite how horrendously wrong he is.

(Ever since their fathers had started dating, he and Amanda had started spending more time together, and they ended up bonding over their shared rebellious streaks, problems with authority, and utter adoration of their dads.

She’s like the cool older sister he’d never wanted. He couldn’t see her in a romantic light if he wanted to.

And not to mention he’s gay.)

Lucien just smirks down at Noah.

“What, like it’s any of your business who she dates?”

Noah bristles at that, and looks like he’s about to start a fight right then and there.

But Emma R stops the fight before it can happen by getting up and asking Amanda if they can talk.

Amanda looks skeptical for a moment, before telling he others to go ahead.

Lucien, who’s having so much fun riling up Noah, smirks and says, “Sure thing, Panda,” before ruffling her hair and walking off with the others.

“Hey! You know dad’s the only one who can call me that!” she yells good-naturedly.

“You keep telling yourself that, Panda,” Ernest chimes in with a snicker as they walk away.

Amanda rolls her eyes and turns back to Emma R, her smile immediately slipping off her face to be replaced with an aloof expression.

“Well?” she asks, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.

Emma R is a little stunned, a little out of her depth. She’s not used to Amanda having inside jokes without her.

Emma R swallows her pride, apologizes to Amanda, asks if they can be friends again.

Amanda thinks it over for a long moment. She’s so tempted to say yes, to leave it all in the past and have her best friend back again.

But her father’s words echo in her mind, and she steels her heart.

“No,” she says.

Emma R looks taken aback.

“I don’t want to surround myself with people who would alienate me for absolutely no reason at all, people who would avoid me and talk behind my back. Real friends don’t do that. I deserve better.”

And with that, she turns around and stomps off after the rest of her new friends.

Emma R watches in astonishment.

Ernest gives Amanda a quick, one-armed hug as she rejoins the group.

Lucien says something too quiet for them to hear from so far away, before slinging an arm around Amanda’s neck and turning to smirk smugly at Emma R.

I think about you everyday,
But I don’t feel the urge to dial your number today.
I think I’ve finally realized the person greeting me at the other end won’t be the person who resides in my heart but Someone who left in the middle of the night and robbed me of all my faith in people.
For the longest time, I hated you.
I couldn’t understand why you would leave me when I needed you the most.
I just couldn’t understand why you couldn’t do 10% of what I did for you all these years.
You had to be a rotten person with a rotten soul.
Right? Right? Right!
Wrong.
I think I’ve finally come to understand the fault in you and that in most others around me.
You aren’t a bad person.
You are just weak.
I was expecting strength from a person who wouldn’t even know what that is.
I was expecting courage from someone who was filled with cowardice from head to toe.
I can’t really blame you for being weak but I can learn to not surround myself with people who don’t match my strength.
When I use the word ‘weak’, it’s not what you think.
I cry. All the time.
I display my emotions like I own a boutique.
I have weekly breakdowns.
Sometimes, I get nightmares while doing daily chores.
None of that is being weak.
Being weak is running away.
It is being selfish.
It is not being able to stand up for what you believe in.
It is not being able to say what you feel.
It is seeing someone suffer and rolling your eyes.
It is lies instead of a vocabulary.

You are weak.
I can forgive you.
I understand you aren’t a bad person.
I forgive you.
I have the strength to do so.

anonymous asked:

I'm super ashamed and embarrassed of being/identifying as bisexual because of all the biphobia I've witnessed. It's really fucking with my mental health and idk what to do. It's to the point where I just want to identify as straight, but I know that giving into biphobia and heteronormativity aren't the answer. I'm just lost. Our sexuality is always trivialized and I can't complain about it without being mocked. How do you guys deal with this?

I feel this. Biphobia is the largest cause of creating what is known as The Silent Majority - Bisexuals being the largest percentage of queer people and yet the most misrepresented.

I deal with it by surrounding myself with people who accept Bisexuals, people who cheerlead Bisexuals, and people who love me for me and for my Bisexuality. Aside from it being a good way to maintaining a positive self-image in regards to your own personal Bisexuality, it’s a good rule to live by in general. I also deal with it by educating and stepping in when I see Biphobia.

Spreading information to those otherwise unaware to Bi stigma helps! That’s why it’s always important, for those who aren’t Bi and care, to be a good Bi ally and educate people on the effects of Biphobia, including studies showing, for example, Bisexuals suffering from more mental health issues like depression and anxiety than their Gay/Lesbian counterparts. When we see biphobia existing in general cishet society (where we’re facing homophobia on top of biphobia) we turn to our safe spaces, our queer spaces, but in our safe spaces as well we’re not as safe as we should be. We desperately need these spaces especially since studies show Bisexuals face more sexual violence than their Gay/Lesbian and Straight peers. So when this support system we should have gets taken away for who we are - that’s Biphobia. And it does real actual harm towards Bisexuals. 

“No one is hanging you for being Bi, Biphobia isn’t a thing!” well that’s the interesting part! In addition to dealing with Biphobia, which has its own ugliness as briefly mentioned, Bisexuals also deal with homophobia! (internally and externally, as previously mentioned). So in these moments, when we retreat to our safe spaces to recoup, and we’re forced to behave differently or be not what we truly are, or constantly questioned in regards to the validity of who we are, it does damage! It’s a cycle of violence and further reinforces this notion that, in LGBTQ+ spaces - despite being a very present letter in the acronym, queerness is conditional instead of something inherent. Bisexuality is inherently queer, has its own unique queer experiences, is a marginalized identity through and through, deserves better treatment, and deserves equal support. 

This being said, cause these things need to be said, understanding that these concepts are present and being able to live a happy life are possible. What helped me out of my internalized biphobic/homophobic rut was coming to terms with the fact I wanted to be happy. My bisexuality wasn’t going to change, so I knew the only thing to do at that point was to accept it and learn to love it. There are also SO many Bisexual allies out there! The real world isn’t Tumblr discourse 24/7 I promise you and I can’t tell you how many times my gay and lesbian friends stop me whenever I start thinking biphobicly and step in to reinforce I’m queer and worthy. Bisexuality is beautiful. Your bisexuality is beautiful. It may be hard right now but I promise you it does get better.

ways to utilize the eclipse

so! the eclipse is coming up tmr on the 21st and its kind of a big deal lol. the eclipse has many correspondences with change, rebirth, and new beginnings and i know a lot of ppl have been feeling the influence of the eclipse already. 

so here are some ways to utilize the energy of the eclipse in your craft!

1. Cleansing
because of the correspondence of new beginnings, cleansing is very very important. grab a trash bag and scoop up ALL of the things in your room that u don’t use anymore. don’t leave things lying around bc “i’ll need to use it maybe!!!” we all know thats not going to happen any time soon. TRASH IT! clean everything, wash your sheets, start anew

2. Charging
charge everything u can think of with energy of the eclipse. leave out water, jewelry, sigils, poppets, anything and then use that energy in the future. if you ever need a change of course or u just are trying to change something, pull from the energy in your charged object and go from there

3. Explore a new path
it seems that a lot of ppl who i’ve talked to have felt rather antsy and restless in the past couple days, myself included for sure. follow your heart and look into a new aspect of your path. find something that looks interesting to you? try it out! i think it would be also appropriate to look into shadow work on the “day of shadows” lol!

4. Reflect on who your friends are
though this isn’t necessarily witchy, you should reflect on your friends and determine who is beneficial in your life and who is toxic. start a new phase of your life and devote it to healing and only surrounding yourself with people who care for you and uplift you. we need to get out of the mentality that healing is bad. recovery is important and this could be a new time for you to start

5. Meditate
meditation is a really important thing lol. i know that everyoneee says that but its because its true!! there are so many benefits to meditation and it can be just what u need for starting fresh. meditate on the past and what you want for you future. try astral traveling! try discovering what path you are meant to travel on and go from there


there are obviously other things you can do with the eclipse so feel free to add on! but please please please stay safe and wear protective glasses if you plan on looking at the sun!!! keep anyone without glasses inside, including any pets as well. stay safe and happy eclipse!

Some Highlights from “The Music of Rogue One” Panel at SWCO17 (aka the panel that blew my mind)

So since I can’t find any filmed version of the “Music of Rogue One” panel with David W. Collins I’ll post some of the highlights here. I’m a music theory nerd myself but I was surrounded by people who have never paid attention to music analysis and were still moved to tears so I encourage everyone to check this out (and watch the panel please if it’s ever made available.)

  • the Panel began with Collins discussing the legacy of John Williams and the Star Wars main theme specifically. He discussed how it was originally meant to be Luke Skywalker’s theme, and how that interpretation can still hold true considering Star Wars is the Skywalker Saga
  • The coolest thing pointed out re the main theme is that it’s musical construction mirrors the structure of the Hero’s Journey, the monomyth structure that all of Star Wars revolves around. It rises suddenly with the call to adventure, then builds with the journey, drops during the abyss, is reborn with another musical rise, then returns to the beginning. Collins emphasized that Williams is without a doubt a musical genius and that Michael Giacchino had a big challenge in making a score that lived up to William’s legacy while standing on it’s own. This was a challenge he more than met, as this panel made clear.
  • Now moving on to Rogue One, Collin’s discussed the title theme “Hope.” This theme is clearly heard over the title of the film, during Jyn’s big speech to the Rebellion, and throughout the film.
  • Collins pointed out that, like the main Star Wars theme, “Hope” echos the structure of the film itself. There are heroic major key moments in the theme, but it ends in a melancholy way that almost sounds unfinished. It represents the sacrifice at the center of the film. This is a story of incredible heroism that merely paves the way for others to finish the journey. 
  • Collins moved on to discuss the musical themes for each character in Rogue One, with a lot of focus on Jyn’s theme. Jyn’s theme is the most frequently heard piece along with “Hope” in the film. In fact, we hear it three times in the film’s prologue alone.
  • The fascinating thing Collins pointed out is Giacchino’s use of Dies Irae throughout the score. Dies Irae, or Day of Wrath, is the medieval hym describing the end of the world. It is sung during funeral masses and musically is quoted widely to represent death
  • EVERY CHARACTER THEME IN ROGUE ONE IS STRUCTURED AROUND DIES IRAE. Jyn, Chirrut, Baze, even Krennic, ALL OF THEM
  • Giacchino was signaling from the beginning that this is a story about death. He wrote the sacrifice of these characters right into their themes.
  • A notable use of Dies Irae beyond character themes is it’s repetition as Cassian and Jyn begin to climb the tower in the archive during the climax. The first two notes of Dies Irae are repeated as they do so. When Krennic walks down the hallway with his Death Troopers, all three notes play (death literally chasing them). And when Jyn almost drops, than catches the data tapes, Dies Irae is replaced by “Hope”
  • Jyn’s theme in particular is a melancholy theme centered on Dies Irae, but with a lovely, lullaby like feeling. It tells you from the beginning that Jyn’s is a story of hope and inspiration but also death and sacrifice.
  • An interesting use of Jyn’s theme and “Hope” together is during Jyn’s speech to the Rebellion. First we here “Hope” swell as Jyn speaks to the Rebels. Then when her speech is shot down, the theme drops, replaced by Jyn’s theme. This represents that it is Jyn herself who inspires the sacrifice that will eventually bring on the Hope. Jyn is the hope.
  • Another mind blowing moment was a musical parallel that Collins pointed out with the character of Bodhi Rook. In the scene where he recalls his mission, repeating “I’m the pilot, I brought the message,” listen for the flutes. That exact same flute theme plays in A New Hope when Luke discovers Leia’s message hidden in R2. By doing this,  Giacchino is directly mapping the journey of “the message.” Bodhi receives the message of the Death Star and how it can be destroyed from Galen, he brings it to Jyn, who with Rogue One, transmit the message, which ends up in the hands of Leia, then to R2, then to Luke, who must return it to the Rebellion. Those flutes represent the origin of the message with Bodhi through to A New Hope.
  • This panel was full of mind blowing moments, but the most mind blowing moment by far was another musical connection to A New Hope. After we had become very familiar with Jyn’s theme over the course of the panel, Collin’s played a scene from A New Hope for us. It was the moment when Obi-Wan asks Luke to come with him to Alderaan and Luke resists. When Obi-Wan says he’s getting too old for this sort of thing, Jyn’s theme plays clearly under Luke’s hesitation. In the original context, a hint of Dies Irae was WIlliam’s way of foreshadowing Obi-Wan’s death, but after Giacchino used that musical queue to build Jyn’s theme, it suddenly has deeper meaning. It’s Jyn’s sacrifice calling to Luke, compelling him to be the hope she fought for. And it is connecting Obi-Wan’s eventual sacrifice with that of Jyn and her comrades.  
  • Collins also highlighted how Giacchino’s score for the final moments of the film, from Jyn’s confrontation with Krennic through the arrival of Vader and the death of Jyn and Cassian, is unconventional and incredibly effective. Jyn’s confrontation with Krennic is silent, no music, unexpected for such a key moment. Only when Cassian appears does the music return. And throughout the final sequence, as we witness horrifying destruction, death. the arrival of the Death Star and Vader’s Star Destroyer, the score stays distant, gentle, melancholy. It does not highlight the horror. It steps back and mourns over it, like the eyes of history or the Force itself, honoring the sacrifice. 
  • So yeah Giacchino’s score for Rogue One is brilliant, Williams’ music for Star Wars is brilliant, this panel was brilliant, and I can never get enough of analyzing Star Wars scores.
Where Every Brown Sugar Baby Should Look for Her Next Sugar Daddy and Why

The more the game changes, the more it stays the same.

     Best friend, my first disappointment with sugaring came when I realized that sugaring sites were not for me. When I joined Tumblr, I was surrounded by stories of women who signed up for Seeking Arrangement and within an hour found their inbox full of messages from men willing to hand them the world or at least a pair of So Kate’s on the first date. When I joined Tumblr, I thought that I was going to command large allowances just because I existed, not because I did any work. I learned otherwise.

     My successes with sugaring came when I got very clear about what exactly it was that I was sugaring for. I realized that I couldn’t make myself care about designer goods. They’re pretty, and I loved looking at them on Instagram but dating a man so he could buy me luxury goods just did not seem like a lot of fun. But art supplies? Everything I needed to write a novel and maintain my blog? That sounded much more feasible. As soon as I committed to it, it happened. As soon as I got off the sugaring sites, it happened.  

     As an introvert, I did get off the sugaring sites, but it took me quite a while to get off the internet. I used Tinder to find the three gift daddies that I had. Last month, I went free styling for the first time.   

     There is a general horror around free styling that, trust me, I understand. If I didn’t have to leave my house, I wouldn’t. But I realized a few things. The sugar sites are not set up for you to succeed. We, as sugar babies, are the draw that is used to attract men with money and unrealistic dreams.  

     Do you want to have the perfect relationship? A young, beautiful, smart woman who will hang off your every word and, unlike escorts, will be with you and you alone for a fraction of the price that escorts are demanding? Sign up for a membership with our site at the low price of $39.99/month and become a sugar daddy tonight!

     While this might not be the exact language the sites are using, I guarantee if you go on any of the sugar sites you will see something similar being touted to men.  I also promise that the men that have the real potential to be amazing sugar daddies and give you things you didn’t believe that you could get aren’t on these sites.
     

     And, honey, maybe you haven’t noticed but online dating-sugar or vanilla- is not set up for black women to succeed. I’ll say it once more. You’re far more likely to find the man you’re looking for when you let go of the sugar sites.
So what happens next? Next, you change your mindset. There is one thing that needs adjustment, your attitude, in two different areas. The first is what a sugar daddy looks like. Maybe you don’t have this problem. But I do. I tend to find myself thinking that sugar daddies look a certain way. They’re white and in their 40’s-50’s. Most of them are married. But this isn’t what sugar daddies look like. They can be any age. They can be any race. They can be anywhere. When it’s time to free style, don’t think that if a Black man, an Asian man, a Martian, whatever, approaches you that because they don’t fit in with the idea of what you think an SD looks like you can’t pay any attention to them.

     There will be three types of men that you’ll meet when you go out: cheap men that would like your time and attention for free, men that will simply ask how much you want or make it known that they have no problem paying you, and men that are willing to spend money on you but need some type of connection with you first. Ugh, connection. Don’t you hate that word? Men should just hand us money because we asked for it right? We’re young, we’re beautiful, we’re smart. Just fork over the coins.

     But consider this. How often do you give money to complete strangers because they asked for it? How often have you walked up to an attractive or interesting looking person with $5 that you know you don’t need and said: “here this is for you just because you look cool or like you needed a little help”? Never right? If we were a society where that was the norm homelessness would not be an issue. No, we give our money to people we like, to people that have bettered our lives in some way, to people we trust. But, still. That word-connection. Months and months of dates. Maybe even putting out. That must be what I mean, right? Nope. Not what I mean at all. A connection can be made in 15 minutes or 15 months. It really just depends on how well your personality meshes with his.

     How do you tell these men apart? Let’s build a scenario, shall we? Let’s say you meet a man at a bar. You each talk a bit about who you are and what you do for a living. His job sounds promising. You don’t know exactly how much he makes but when you google it in the bathroom after touching up your lipstick you see that it’s an acceptable amount. He buys you a drink to continue the conversation you’ve already started, but when the night ends, he doesn’t pick up the tab you had started before he sat down. Splenda! Salt! That’s what Tumblr will tell you. I say wait. You spend some time texting. He says he wants to take you out. This is when we find out what kind of man he is by analyzing a few things:


  • Where does he want to meet? TGIFridays or one of the best restaurants/bars in the city. Look at where he wants to take you and why. If he asks you where you want to eat and then shoots it down because it’s overpriced or “just not his scene” you have two options: dig your heels in or run. My first meeting with Bentley took some time to plan because he shot down the restaurants that I chose as not being good enough for a first date. It was a good first sign. 
  • How and what do they order? We know what a man who doesn’t want to spend a lot of money looks like when he orders at a restaurant or bar. He asks if there are any discounts or deals. Asks what’s the best and cheapest drink or food item on the menu. Makes “jokes” about how expensive everything is. 
  • How do they look when you order? A man that asks if you want anything else after you’ve decided what you want is a keeper. A man that asks what you want scans the menu and then asks if you’re sure you want those things or if you’d be happy with something cheaper presents you with two options: to dig your heels in or run.
  • What are they talking to you about? A man that talks about sex as soon as he meets you only wants you for one thing and it ain’t playing cards. Now, if he’s willing to compensate you for that time in a way that you find acceptable, fine. Get your money girl. If you want a man that cares about you as an individual but he can’t stop talking about how well he’s doing on Viagra, you have two options. Dig in or run. I suggest you run, but this is your life, not mine
  • Do they listen when you speak? Do they remember what you said? I got my first laptop from a man who listened when I talked about wanting to write. I got my second laptop and art supplies from a man who listened to my business plan. If they can’t hear you, they can’t help you. 

     When the date is over, look at this man’s behavior. You’ll know if he’s the type of man that you can keep in your life. If he isn’t, let him go. LET HIM GO! Don’t, please friend, don’t hang on to a man because you don’t think that you’ll be able to get another. This game isn’t for the desperate that need quick cash because their life is falling apart. This is going to take time. You’ll find yourself getting dressed up and going out quite a few times before you find a man that you’re willing to stick with. If you understand this from the beginning, that reaching any goal is going to take time, you’ll be far less likely to fail.

     I’d like to give one piece of controversial advice. Do not ask for a gift or token or whatever you want to call it on the first date. Remember what we talked about earlier? About how we don’t give away our hard earned money to strangers or the undeserving? This applies here. And I know, I know. The posts of girls that say they asked for a gift and got one is so much more fun to read than what I’m saying, but here we are best friend, here we are.

     You do have one thing on your side. Men know that it is their responsibility to take care of the women in their lives. Vanilla men know this. They know. I’m going to say it one more time, best friend so it really sinks in. All men know that it is their responsibility to take care of the women in their lives. What’s more, they know that the younger and better looking a woman is, the more they will have to spend. Your job is not to convince a man to spend money on you. He already knows he should. Your job is to separate the men willing to spend from the men not willing to spend by opening up your mouth and talking about what you want. Talk about college and the class that you’re going to be taking, but god isn’t it crazy how expensive books are? Talk about how much you love to write, but your laptop broke. Talk about how you want to get into digital photography but don’t know what camera to get or if you can afford to buy one. Give it a couple weeks. The right man will show up with a laptop, or an iPad, or a book, or a camera or whatever it is you say you need. The wrong man won’t have made it past the first date.

Happy hunting, best friend.

Best friend, be honest, what did you think? Do you think you could ever get off the sugar sites? Go free styling? Do you think my approach makes any sense or is something that could work for you? Leave me a comment and let me know so we can talk about it.

Happiness comes from total self-acceptance. I’m genderfluid. I love and accept that about myself. And I’ve designed my whole life around loving all of who I am. Here are some tips:

-Surround yourself with loving people. As time goes by, do everything you can to spend time with good people and minimize time with unloving, unaccepting people – even if those people are related to you.

-Wear what you want. Yes, outward appearance isn’t everything. And, you don’t need to look a certain way. But it’s important to feel a certain way. Your outfits should make you feel alive and confident and totally…you.

-Practice. Practice. Practice. Self-love doesn’t happen overnight. It will take time. So keep at it. Make a little progress every day.

Lately I’ve been noticing how everyone carries a certain vibration with them. When I talk to one person, I feel one way, and when I talk to another person, I feel a different way. No matter how long I haven’t talked to them, every time I start again, I feel the same way. With some people, I feel light and happy, and with others, like I can’t be myself. It’s very interesting to see the body adjust to different vibrations, but I guess my point is: try to surround yourself with those who you feel happy with instead of waiting until something changes with the ones you don’t.

Stop telling me to make friends with Trump supporters. Stop telling me that this is the equivalent of surrounding myself with differing points of view. 

I have friends who are black, Muslim, transgender, gay, first or second generation immigrants, sexual assault survivors and more. 

They are my friends. I love them with all my heart. I assure you I am surrounded by differing points of view.

Stop telling me that I need to spend time with people who  actively voted to make this world less welcoming, less safe and indeed hateful towards my friends.

Just stop.

The world right now is NOT divided by “politics.” This is a ridiculously ignorant and narrow minded view of current affairs.  The world right now is divided between those who give a shit about people who are not just like them, and those who do not. 

I do not have time in my days for the latter.

Trump supporters have actively hurt my friends. Trump supporters are actively causing them suffering. I do not disagree with Trump supporters on “policy” or “partisan” issues. I disagree with Trump supporters on whether my friends are worthy human beings. I disagree with Trump supporters on whether my friends should be second class citizens. I disagree with Trump supporters about whether this world and this country belong equally to my friends as it does to them.

Stop telling me to make friends with Trump supporters. 

They are no friends of mine.

2

I’ve been meaning to post something about these two stills. 

The beginning of the film and the end of the film.

It’s such a powerful comparison and it’s amazing how a character can literally go from one end of the spectrum to the other without becoming almost unrecognisable.

Surrounded by his peers, trainees and people who are watching him, right and centre stage. boasting a successful career and brimming with confidence and ego. and sure as hell likes to flaunt it.

Then…

You see a man alone, closed off from the outside world, nobody there watching him, instead he’s there watching them, quietly gazing out on to a world that seems so different to how he left it. 

everything has flipped, in a manner of speaking.

It’s why I feel Doctor Strange as a film stands out from other mcu films, the impact of the his journey to becoming this hero, he never expected to be is an ongoing one, we have yet to see. But it is realised at the very end, how far he has come already.

I mean I would love to know what you guys think of this.

Hoe Wisdom - Manipulation

I learned from a very young age to make people believe about me exactly what I want them to. I learned how to walk, sit, move, and even eat in a way that makes me seem in complete control of myself and my surroundings, even when I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and out of place. I learned to hide my anxieties and insecurities in a way that everyone thought I was always calm and put together. I also learned how to get people to trust me and tell me everything about them by masterfully displaying those very weaknesses. I’ll share some of my tips tonight, these tips might help you seem in complete control, help you get what you want and even who you want ;)

WHEN YOU’RE ALONE AMONGST A LOT OF PEOPLE
- If you’re alone don’t stress about the fact that you are, don’t worry about looking like a loser because you won’t.
> When you’re alone be sure to keep your posture. ALWAYS TAKE NOTE OF YOUR POSTURE. I cannot stress how important your posture is. Look up how to keep a proper posture.
>Snack slowly and take small bites, small and assured sips of your drink. Not too slow, just measure yourself.
> Learn how to strut. When you walk across the room to sit, to snack, or just anywhere, don’t slack on your walking. Chin up, stare straight ahead, perfect posture, and have a very slight smile. The world is your catwalk, and yes people will be paying attention when you least notice it.

WHEN SOMEONE APPROACHES YOU
- If they’re a close friend you don’t have to worry much about how to talk to them because you know them, but your behavior still matter.
> When talking to them make sure you pay close attention to them and what they’re saying. No extreme reactions, unless they truly said something shocking.
> Smile a lot, let others see that you can be approachable. Also, they’re your close friend you should be smiling anyway.
- If they’re someone you barely know then just breathe in, smile, release your breath slowly and greet them politely.
> Ask then questions about their life you have some knowledge about. Ask about their family, pets, children, partners, work/school, make sure they’re the ones speaking more than you are.
- If they’re a stranger wait until they’re immediately in your personal space to acknowledge them, then meet and greet them only after they have directly addressed you. Keep an easy smile on your face, and when meeting them change your smile according to the impression you want to make (dazzling smile to charm, smirk to seduce, smile politely for anyone else).
> For strangers you don’t know anything about them, ask them about things you are at least somewhat curious about. Ask them about their current standing in terms of job and or studies. Ask them about family and hobbies. Anything you would like to know or need to know to get some info on them.
> Make a lot of eye contact, but not too much, but make sure to keep your attention on them. Make them feel that you care about what they’re saying.

WHEN YOU’RE IN A GROUP
Besides all the other things about posture, eye contact and smiling, when you’re in a group this is where the whole “pay them complete attention” does not apply. In a group make sure to pay attention to everyone speaking, let everyone have a turn at your attention. People who were steamrolled out of a conversation you ease them back in either by giving them your attention and let them speak to you directly, or if you’re feeling bold politely call out the person or people who steamrolled over them by calmly stating “I’m sorry to interrupt but [their name] was speaking, I want to know what they were going to say.” Don’t do that if you don’t feel confident, or if you care about possibly offending others, you should still operate within your comfort zone so that you can portray a genuine look of collected confidence.

NOW YOU’RE IN, HOW TO GET THEM TO TRUST YOU
- This is when you can start showing people bits of your true self. You should have real stories and anecdotes ready for when you get the chance to use them.
- Real stories and anecdotes are crucial because believe it or not people are actually adept at intuitively spotting liars. If the stories and anecdotes are real, with genuine feeling attached to them, they can’t spot any lies because they will be the truth.
- Manipulating people is not about lying, it’s about using the truth to your advantage. Avoid lying and avoid exaggerating, so that everything you say and do is genuine.
- The stories and anecdotes you use must have some connection to the context of the conversation or the person you’re with. Don’t bust out a story of a dying pet when the person you’re with never even had a pet. Don’t talk about how you once failed an exam when the conversation was about this concert he went to with his friends last week. Talk about things in context, and if you have no material for a certain context then don’t stress, you don’t need to have something to say for everything. For every time you talk to them only share one personal story, avoid using more because then that shows too much of you.
- You want to show some humanity, but not too much because you want them to still believe that you’re some ethereal and strong entity that could probably crush them if they cross any lines.

To end, I just want to say that with this post I don’t mean to imply that you need to act this way to be desired, to get what you want, or to be considered amazing. This is not the case at all. However, I know for a fact that some of y'all struggle with confidence and that you wish you knew how to display confidence even when you don’t have it. Well this is a way to fake it until you make it. My blog is about loving yourself, but I know how long and tiresome that process can be. This is just a way to put yourself out there. There’s so much info I still didn’t cover because then the post would be even longer, for any more info just ask me! None of y'all should feel that you HAVE to do what this post says to get people to notice you and like you, I don’t want any of you to compromise yourselves for the sake of people that don’t matter. But I know some of you want this, I found myself looking up a lot of this information way back when before Tumblr had this huge and informed community of wonderful people willing to share their knowledge. I love all of you and I hope I’ve helped some of you in any way.

This is not just a booty transformation it’s a recovery transformation as well. On the left is when I relapsed into my eating is disorder and I was eat about 800 calories maybe less, I was restricting myself of most foods and was determined to eat 100% pure all the time. My meals were planed at a specific time, my mental health was shit and I would cry myself to sleep every night because I was so tired of living a life of restriction. I hated myself for being “weak” and felt so incredibly alone, and was fixated on the thought of being skinny. On the right is me now! I’m eating wtf I want and when I want it, I’m listening to my body, practicing initiative eating and self love everyday. I talk or write about my feelings, I lift heavy weights because that’s what I’m passionate about, but I don’t take exercising to the extreme anymore and if I feel tired and lethargic I don’t go to the gym. YES I still struggle, but I am patient with myself. I surround myself with people who bring positivity into my life and follow people who inspire me to reach my goals like @_kellyu @jenbretty @omgkenzieee @selfloveandstrength @gabbyscheyen and many more. Don’t give up on yourself and don’t beat yourself up. You are worthy of so much more. Live life the way you want to live it, not the way you see someone else live their life. Eat the pizza and feel damn proud of yourself for conquering your inner demons🌷