this is where that joke is from btw

Players that MIGHT not be at Barca next season

Marc-André ter Stegen
Jasper Cillessen
Gerard Piqué
Javier Mascherano
Jordi Alba
Lucas Digne
Sergi Roberto
Samuel Umtiti
Ivan Rakitic
Sergio Busquets
Denis Suarez
Arda Turan
Andrés Iniesta
Rafinha Alcântara
Luis Suárez
Lionel Messi
Neymar Jr.
Paco Alcácer
Hector Bellerin
Jose Mourinho 
Cristiano Ronaldo
Marco Reus
Michael Bradley

anonymous asked:

Omg where's that picture with Erwin with the tie from? Btw look at his forearms, so strong and muscular looking ;) ;) ;)

It’s a leaked page from the next snk volume and part 2 of yams’ high school au!

@trash-eruri was kind enough to translate the descriptions over on twitter (thanks again ♡) and i’ve been screaming about them since this morning.

Erwin is the history teacher that laughs at jokes that no one else finds funny (dadwin confirmed lmao), Levi is the janitor with a shady past and he is only close to a few people in the school, and Hans is the chemistry teacher with a curious nature.

:D

btw not to be That Guy but it is really cool that rcg picked a lesbian director for mac’s big coming out episode. this may be a slightly warped perspective derived from my own wishful thinking and i don’t wanna give credit where it’s not due, but in my opinion, it really showed that actual lgbt+ ppl had hands in the episode. it’s such an enormous difference from the sort of joke his coming out was played as in the gang goes to hell, and even though i was disappointed at the bait and switch at the time, i’m glad it didn’t stick because that means we got this meaningful, well-rounded episode with everyone supporting mac. i’m happy jamie babbit worked so well with rob to give mac’s coming out the sensitivity and focus it deserves without being inconsistent with sunny’s theme

Perfect

pairing: john laurens x reader

word count: 3000 

warnings: swearing, drunkenness, aaron burr being pretentious, sleepiness, alcohol mention, badly and probably incorrectly translated french

prompt/request: Can I have a John Laurens imagine where you are dating and you guys get drunk with some friends at a party and you see him all over another girl and it gets angsty but then super fluffy? I love your writing BTW 💙💛💜💚” from @cheyenne-dunn-universe

a/n: here’s a funny joke/alternative title if you’ve read one of my other laurens fics, lipstick on his collar: ‘a fic where john says it’s not what it looks like and it truly isn’t’. either way, enjoy!


“How do I look?” John asked, standing in front of the mirror.

He was wearing a black dress shirt and gray jeans, with his hair tied back in a bun. It was a casual night, of course, but Alex had tortured him the last time he showed up to a party in sweats and a t-shirt. You rolled your eyes and stood on your tippy-toes to kiss his scruffy cheek. “How do you think you look?” you questioned, running your thumb over the spot you just had your lips on.

He shrugged, reaching a hand up to smooth out a crease in his shirt.

“Fabulous.” You laughed and grabbed his arms, turning his body to face yours. “Sexy. Handsome. Pretty. Beautiful. Perfect. Like you always do, John.”

Keep reading

More fun from the delightful, non-canon The Jedi Path

No joke: this is on the VERY NEXT PAGE after the page where it talks about how you should never have to cut anyone’s limbs off, where Obi-Wan’s comment in the margin is like “GASP, I WOULD NEVER”. 

Now, right on the next damn page, the book is like “BTW anyone who cuts someone in half is a barbarian who is channeling Ancient Evil.” I’m dying laughing here. God, poor Obi-Wan. Star Wars hates him. It does. 

I am also dying that Anakin is like “Cool I heard Obi-Wan used this Forbidden move on some guy. Don’t even care if it means he’s maybe got a line in to the Dark Side. Sounds like some badass shit. He is the best. 💙 💙 💙 💙 💙 ” I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Anakin was THE biggest Kenobi fan ever. He occasionally out-fangirls me

Finally: please note that Anakin Skywalker, he of the most frilly fancy signature in the galaxy, apparently writes in sloppy all-caps block letters for everything else. Sounds about right. 

On a date to the movies...
  • Aries: Watches the movie, but when you let your guard down, attacks you with some new type of sexual shit multiple times and acts like they didn't do anything; total sweethearts though, that will embarrass the hell out of you, be prepared or skips the movie and take you some where dangerous but cool as hell because they go on adventures like that and end the date with some home-made smoothies at their house because your still breathing hard and they are worried
  • Taurus: Paid for the food as you paid for the tickets, eating the snacks they bought or snuck in via bra, hat or pants (get creative) , but always feeds some to you without taking their eyes off the screen unless they see you waste the food they just bought for you-- bitch you better eat the rest of that fucking cinnamon roll
  • Gemini: Low-key flirting with you, pats your thigh a lot or plays with your hand; discusses with you when to take bathroom breaks and who would keep track of the story-line in the movie OR discusses the movie with you as they slowly take some of your nachos and eat the shit in your face-- be careful when staring at them, look at their lips more than twice, your gonna get it after they make you laugh your way into some nicely formed abs
  • Cancer: Keeps looking at you from the corner of their eye, you both share the drink with two different straws, but get confused on who's is who's, end up having an indirect kiss which causes this cutie to blush... or cuss you the fuck out, there is no in-between, btw you might watch some movie on Netflix (Minions) afterwards at their house that came out last month or something because they have been wanting to watch it and they get what the fuck they want, now cuddle them hoe
  • Leo: Wore a more relaxed outfit today and is more chill about things; tells you jokes from stand-ups they have watched and at the end of the night makes you spit out your soda, helps clean you up but ends up kissing you and we all know where that leads to... Yeah that's right- WALMART because they wanna play with some toys cause Walmart stays open and they don't want to go home yet
  • Virgo: Trying their best to not freak out on sitting near by another couple who is making out pretty roughly, smiles a lot when you nudge them at certain scenes (wink wink or nah); low-key wished they could go back to working but realizes that is was worth throwing away their schedule for you and... is low-key thinking about sexing you tonight... like, their mind is just filled with thoughts of THAT BODY and all the ways they can make you scream-- I'm not joking. Bring a condom. (Be safe kids. D:)
  • Libra: Just so many shy smiles, happy smiles, careful smiles and flirty smiles-- don't know how else to explain it besides the saying: "When your happy, I'm happy."; or just really happy to be out of the house and doing something with one of their favorite people (your not the only one, shhh, it's okay, your still special) plus, if the mood calls for it, will talk with you about some deep shit and make you realize... what the fuck is Goofy on? Like dude, spill your secretsssssss-- Who has the hook up? Is it Pluto? That dude is never there like, bruh. Is he selling drugs to other Disney characters? No wonder everything looks so lit
  • Scorpio: Will keep trying to hold your hand, just stares at you-- probably the type to take you to a movie that they truly recommend, not just some trend; at the end of the night will make sure you go home with a smile or ... make-out with you passionately somewhere breathtaking only they and their exs know about and its all planned out and shit. Then surprise you with that good-good and you end up in bed with them in the morning, realizing that you have been de-flowered and you loved every moment of it as they kiss you on the head and mutter the words "Now get the fuck out." (NO CHILL)
  • Sagittarius: Will tease the hell out of you the whole entire time, don't take offence though, they just don't know how else to communicate how much they l- l- lo- like that boootah-- just kidding, but they will make jokes like this to make awkward situations more awkward just for the hell of it; you laughing at their jokes makes their heart grow-two-sizes-more or some corny bullshit like that
  • Capricorn: Honestly, like, the hell man? These Caps are true gentlemen/polite ladies because they will honestly... make sure your night goes out with some weird shit; Now-- Be warned, they are crazy when hyped off of sugar and shit, but its cute, so it's okay
  • Aquarius: Get ready to learn a lot of shit, they are about to drop some mad fire of knowledge on your ass, all while taking you to the park after the movies and walk around that shit for while till they see the moon rising and wink at the sky because their alien comrades are watching you guys like some fucking movie-- they are shipping you guys HARD; Oh! Will also tell you stripping is not as bad as it seems, and that you should try it out, they will visit and give you some feedback
  • Pisces: NOW, us Pisces will treat you to some cool shit and pay to watch a movie and then movie hop the shit out of that theater because we aren't gonna pay fucking $16.50 to see some bs movie we can see on YouTube 3 months later-- Buuuuuut don't get mistaken, we will take you on the ride of your life afterwards ;).............. Street racing, get your mind out of the gutter and put on your seat belt and look safe, the cops are lurking
  • (First time trying this, like it or not, not my fault. Just how I view the signs. WATER SQUAD. SQUAD SQUAD SQUAD. Alright, bye.)

Well, since I don’t like how they forgot Komaeda at the end, I feel like spaming some Komaeda (read: komahina/hinakoma) later.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yup, I’m so frustrated. lmao.

Anyway, I drew this yesterday. I was inspired by this fiction. I love her work and I had to draw something about it, right? Please, give a try!

Love’s Script by Yukari

Summary:
Hajime Hinata and his classmate, Ibuki Mioda, are big fans of the Danganronpa series. When the audition for the live action adaptation of the second game is announced, Ibuki is determined to play her favorite character… and she expects the same from Hinata. At first reluctant, he agrees to go with her… But did he make the right choice? Is he even going to survive?!

A non-despair AU where nobody dies and the nerds have fun playing in a TV show.

anonymous asked:

I wonder how is the Borgia family fame in Italy? Are they hated because of all the corruption of the church at the time? There is still descendants of them? Everytime there's someone with the Tudor last name they're​ very proud of it so how does Borgias feel about it. Your blog is awesome btw

Yes there are some Borgias in Italy anon, in as many as 438 cities/towns around the country! I don’t really think they directly descend from ours but I remember reading and article from 2003 (anniversary of Rodrigo’s death) where a lot of the Borgias complained about the stigma attached to their name. I wouldn’t say they’re hated but there are a lot of jokes going on, you know? Do you poison people, that sort of things. I heard one myself because a Borgia girl was in my uni. By this point it’s more about jokes than prejudice I’d say, although in their particulare case the two things are strictly related.

And thanks a lot <3

Marcel’s Girlfriend

Prompt: Yo wus up bitch… I’m just kidding, it was a JOKE lol. Anyway, I really love ur writing and I was wondering if you could do a imagine based off “The Originals” where the reader is Marcel’s girlfriend but the reader be going behind his back and having an intimate relationship with Klaus. Marcel finds out and shit goes down and stuff. BTW I love u, we are show sluts together, cause I’m a show slut. k bye :—–)

Pairing: Klaus x Reader, Marcel, Elijah

Warning: Cheating,

Word Count: 884

Keep reading

NISA's NDRV3 website updates
  • NISA: get hyped guys we're updating our website for the release date
  • Me: k
  • Nisa, again after a month: get hyped guys we're gonna update don't worry
  • Me, already spoiled about one victim of the game: yeah it's fine I can wait
  • Nisa, after 3 months: ya guys we're updating the website soon haha
  • Me, spoiled about the entire game, killers, victims and mastermind: please
  • Nisa, after 98 years: ya guys we finally updated the website, NDRV3 is gonna come out in the year 2116, November 2nd, get hyped lol
  • Me, rising from the grave: f in a ll y
  • Nisa: ya btw the game is postponed till 2216, sorry guys lol but don't worry we got good news, we're releasing Danganronpa Another Episode remake fully HD and 3D and now you can collect underwear and eat them, also in VR, so you can see Komaru's panties all gameplay, as well as extra secret Servant level where you can drag his chain and call him a little fucking bitch
  • Me, going to hell: f u c k ing f uck

anonymous asked:

i actually have my cat registered as an emotional support animal and a lot of people give me shit for it because landlords aren't allowed to reject her if i move in among other stuff. she keeps me from having anxiety attacks and being unable to go to work, etc. so i think i'm entitled to my cat and you're entitled to your pup (v cute pup btw i love him)

Yeah the only people I see joke about registering an emotional support animal for the landlord status are the people who actually need it but do the thing where’s it’s like, am I ill or do I want attention (which is me like 50% of the time)

AH aha aha ha hahah no one’s going to get this and only the folks in the UK can even get access to the Gorillaz Lenz Ap oh well. Points if you get the joke.


Any of you Brits who have the Lenz app….does this work??? Can you see Gorillaz stuff over this can you take pictures?


(btw this is just down the road from me, and was across the field from where I used to live when I lived in Maryland back 2012.)

Actual RTX Post

As most of you know (or maybe you don’t) I had the absolute pleasure of spending the entire weekend with Ryan Haywood as his personal assistant. I could not have asked for a better charge for the weekend. Ryan was constantly worried that he wouldn’t be able to please anyone, and I had to remind him that the goal was not to please everything (because that’s impossible) but to bring joy to as many people as possible. He had other obligations he needed to get to (panels, signings, eating, etc) and took as many pictures and signed as many things as he possibly could.

THIS IS WHERE RYAN STORIES START!

Now onto some Ryan stories. This is my favorite story because I feel like it so perfectly represents his attitude. There was an autistic fan bound to a wheelchair who wanted to talk to Ryan at the end of his signing with Caleb. He had a ticket, so we said that that was fine since handicapped individuals are to be treated as VIP. Ryan was totally understanding and spent the next 20 minutes until we had to head to his next panel talking with him and it absolutely made his day. The next day, that same fan had a panic attack after the AH panel. I don’t know a lot about autism, but I was told that individuals with autism have certain people that can calm them down. Ryan was one of those people for this man. I talked to Ryan to see if he would be okay with talking to the fan and trying to calm him down, and he said that he would do “whatever he could to help”. He went over to him and sat down with him and calmed him down. It was one of the sweetest things I have every experienced, and Ryan was able to make RTX really special for that fan. 

On a brighter note, I knew Ryan was totally a dad when he spelled my name Hanna all weekend instead of Hannah. I thought that was absolutely the funniest, most dad-like thing ever and I’m not even a tad bit mad about it :)

Ryan was also the one who told me that he wanted to go sit on the throne at some point. That was totally his idea, and I thought it was brilliant. (clearly it was because now those pics are literally EVERYWHERE)

There was also a point where he was asked to sign a dildo. His response: “Sure, why not!”

He was also incredibly grateful for all the gifts he received! 

There was a fan who was crying and hyperventilating during one of his signings. He went up to her before she could make her way to the table and gave her the biggest hug ever. 

In the last AH panel, Michael was gifted a mason jar of peach moonshine. He drank half of it during the panel, but the other half was knocked over onto Ryan’s lap when the fans crowded the stage after the panel. It got all over his pants. I asked him if perhaps he wanted me to run to the RT store and grab him some AH or RT pajama pants, but he said he would “just go into the family bathroom, take them off, and try to dry them with the dryer”. We could have had pajama Ryan, but nooooo  But he did that and it all turned out okay!

There were several times where I had to physically push him because he wanted to stop and sign everyone’s stuff or take pictures with everyone! (BTW if any of you really wanted to get a pic or signature from him and couldn’t because I wouldn’t let you, I’M SO SORRY AND I PROMISE YOU THERE WAS A REASON! I’M SENDING YOU LOTS OF HUGS!)

He was so delightfully awkward the entire time! It was wonderful!

He told me that the whole joke about him and Meg is totally okay with him, and his wife DOES know about it. So joke away, my RT/AH friends!

You’ve all seen the awkward dance he did during the Free Play filming. I about died when that happened!!

He also did a really great job of trying not to misgender anyone.

I know for a fact there are more, I just can’t think of them right now! As I remember them I will post them, but that’s it for now!

TL;DR RYAN IS FUCKING AWESOME AND BEING HIS PA FOR THE WEEKEND WAS THE RADDEST THING EVER.

maccready headcanons from the garbage bin

- he flinches pretty easily, and is hyper-aware of everything (and since the ss likes to kiss him unexpectedly, he’s trying to get that part of him under control, for them)

- MACCREADY IS REALLY TICKLISH

- after meeting the ss he became really self-conscious about his teeth and had a phase where he tried to talk with his mouth as small as possible. ofc the ss noticed and got kinda pissed at him for it, so they tickled him until he started smiling and said “there, thats what i like to see” & kissed him on the cheek

- sometimes he wakes up from a dream and has a panic attack, but he doesn’t like to tell even the ss what they’re about

- however, its the ss who helps him during his panic attacks, and they make sure to stay with him for however long he needs to cope

- in return for the toy soldier, the ss gave maccready their wedding ring

- when hes walking around with the ss in the commonwealth, he has a habit of tugging them into alleyways and just, holding them

- one time he tugged them into an alleyway and kissed their neck, getting the ss really into it before whispering “i vant to suck your blooooood”

- he loves the manta man comic series SO MUCH

- pretends that the things the ss does are just ‘cool’ but secretly adores and looks up to them so much

- occasionally calls people “mungo”s under his breath and the ss is just like “mangos??? what??”

- makes more and more puns after noticing how much they make the ss crack up, to the point where he carries around a joke book he bought from a merchant just in case a good opportunity arises to make the ss laugh

- takes the ss out on walks at nighttime, hoping to just silently watch the sunset with the most beautiful person he knows

So I match with this girl who is pretty cute. I just fuck about on tinder I’m not actually looking for anything unless we really vibe and so I always go for some dumb joke or obscure Always Sunny in Philadelphia reference. This time I go for the classic, ‘Where does Napoleon keep his armies?’ to which she replies with, ‘I don’t know, where?’ Alarm bells immediately start ringing because who doesn’t know the answer - 'Up his sleevies!’ And I say, that is a great joke btw. I go about my day and I just happened to check tinder again to reply to a message from someone else and I find out she unmatched me lmao. 

You have me- young!sirius x reader

Request:  Any chance I can request a 14 with young Sirius? thank you, I love your blog btw! x

Prompt 14: Do you think I can control how I feel when it comes to you?


You saw a flash of long black hair in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express from the platform where you were standing and chatting with Marlene. You were furious.

Fifth year ended a couple of months ago, and life was perfect. Previously during the year, you had finally nailed down the handsome Sirius Black. He treated you like a queen, until suddenly he didn’t.

It ended faster than it had begun. One day, he was owling you inside jokes and telling you how much he missed you, and the next day, Sirius wanted nothing to do with you. You hadn’t heard from him since about a week before your summer birthday. 

Naturally, you were heartbroken at first. You sent him message after message, asking for a reason, asking if he still cared about you, asking if there was someone else. He never answered. Not even once. Your birthday came and went without hearing from him.

Soon though, your heart didn’t ache as badly, and you fell asleep without dreaming about him all night. Now, you were just angry. How dare he? You are a fucking prize and you do not deserve that kind of treatment. 

“Marlene, I’ll see you in a bit. I think I just saw Sirius.” You bid goodbye to your friend, and boarded the train, determined to confront Sirius and give him the verbal smackdown he deserved.

You walked down the hallway, heading to the compartment you saw him in. Opening the door, you saw Sirius sitting with his friends, of course. Sirius froze, and for a split second you two stared at each other, before he looked back down at his hands. All of your anger dissipated and your feelings for him rose to the surface, much to your dismay. He looked paler, even a little thinner.

“Hi (Y/N). Nice to see you.” James tried to break the tension with a greeting. “Well, I suppose you two need a few minutes then.” He stood up and looked pointedly at Remus and Peter. You shuffled past the standing boys and sat down next to your ex-boyfriend. Remus squeezed your shoulder in encouragement as he walked out, shutting the door behind him.

Sirius was still staring at his hands. You softly touched his arm, and he flinched, causing you to pull away.

“Sirius- I- What happened to us?” The tears were threatening to spill over already. 

“Why are you here? I broke up with you. Don’t you get it? That means we aren’t together anymore and you should go sit somewhere else.” 

That did it. You started crying next to him, not that he even noticed. His eyes hadn’t left his lap since you walked in.

You dried your eyes on your sleeve as he shifted in his seat uncomfortably and set his gaze out the window. You looked at him one more time before standing up to leave before you saw his tags stick out of the back of his school robes. 

You grabbed them, intending to tuck them back in and accidentally brushed your fingers on the back of his neck. He tensed beneath you as you read the writing.

Property of James Fleamont Potter

“Why are you wearing James’s robes?”

Sirius shook next to you, and you grabbed him by the shoulders and turned him to face you. He was still looking down, but you could see the tears falling.

You pulled his chin up, seeing his gorgeous gray eyes for the first time in months. Your thumbs brushed away his tears, as more came falling down.

“Sirius, are you okay? Talk to me, sweetheart.”

Sirius flashed you a watery smile. “Oh it’s nothing. We thought it’d be funny to switch robes. You know, just another one of our pranks.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

The smile left his face. “(Y/N). I left. I ran away from home. I had to. I went to James’s.” He choked out a sob, and your heart shattered. Never in a million years did you think you would see Sirius like this. He was always so happy and upbeat.

You pulled him into a hug on the train seat, letting him cry on your shoulder. He was still shaking when you started running your fingers up and down his back. Soon, he calmed down and pulled away.

“(Y/N) you should leave now. I-I’ve got nothing to offer you. You deserve someone who can give you the world. I can’t even dress myself for school. It’s time for you to move on.”

“This is why you broke up with me? Are you kidding?” He looked at you, eyes drier and face more composed.

You continued, not thrown off by his lack of response. “It’s like you think I have a choice in the matter. Do you think I can control how I feel when it comes to you? Do you think someone else could make me feel the way you make me feel?” You scooted closer, as his breathing got heavier. “Sirius, I don’t care what robes you are wearing. I don’t care if you don’t have a penny left to your name. I care about you. And I care about being with you.”

“(Y/N) I’m serious. I have nothing.”

“You have me.” You closed the gap between you and Sirius, your hands thrown around his neck. He cupped your face in his strong hands and leaned down so your foreheads were pressed together.

A single tear slid down his cheek before you smashed your lips against his.

Let’s talk about “If I Could Fly.” Yes, I’m talking about the song from the fifth 1D studio album, Made in the A.M. Honestly, I wasn’t going to ever do this. I was just going to keep my thoughts to myself. But when I went to look up something about the song that I was curious about, I saw this comment.

Well, if you don’t know me by now, I like rising to challenges. Especially when I’m deemed “ignorant” for seeing things a different way. SO let’s do this.

The biggest problem is that too many people in this fandom keep getting this idea that everything has to be about two people in a romantic relationship who can’t come out. But that is just a ridiculous and restrictive way of thinking. Maybe it’s because I’m a Zarrie and we never went with that idea as a whole for our ship. But the first time I ever heard this song it reminded me of Zayn and Harry. Hear me out.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hello just trying my luck here but would you ever think of translating the deaths in osomatsu-kun's last chapter where everyone dies? I'm curious how horrible it is... this is what I'm talking about btw! pbs[.]twimg[.]com/media/CT3zjTCUsAAaiRt[.]jpg thank you for looking!

This is a joke page by the way, they didn’t really die in this way. It’s still pretty horrible.

Akatsuka Fujio - Where are those characters now?!

Doc: Yaaay!! What a relief that everyone is all better!!
Patient: It’s been 27 years since then…

Chibita: Come to think of it, I wonder where everyone is now…

March 6, 1970, the sextuplet house. They eat blowfish for the first time and the whole family dies from food poisoning.
January 8, 1971, Iyami. Dies from periodontitis.
December 8, 1975, Dayon. Tries for a Guiness world record and dies from choking on a small tapestry.
December 9, 1975, Hatabo. Dies when a bolt of lightning strikes his flag and burns him to a crisp.
April 1, 1978, Totoko. Fails to diet and becomes anorexic, dying when her weight drops to 3 kilograms.
August 6, 1980, Dekapan. Dies after changing into memory foam underwear that wears down his balls and gives him tetanus.
January 1, 1988, Akatsuka Fujio. Commits suicide from being unable to draw manga anymore due to severe alcoholism.

Chibita: They were all such great people…