this is what we did today at uni

For Youniverse
키노
For Youniverse

song for universe posted by kino in fancafe (translated lyrics); ©PANEM_PTG

his comment: ahhhhhhh i’m really really so happy right now ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ how much i waited for today ㅠㅠㅠㅠ as soon as I heard the official announcement was up, I suddenly came here. Finally I can call you “uni” (short name for UNIVERSE). I waited many days to upload this. I miss you. My only one Uni deuls :( Pentagon and Universe Let’s be happy together forever…sure sure. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love our Uni deuls very much <3 (translated by amazing_ptg)

one of the professors that i have, in, y'know, art history is the one i refer to as the Punk Professor. sure, he knows latin, but he also couldn’t be bothered to make an official compendium of all the articles we’re given to read and sent them to us over email to skip the whole copyright biz, he wears a beanie and puts his feet on the table, coffee in hand, announcing “i am very invested in the politics of university and teaching”, and everything he says sounds like slam poetry in oslo accent. pretty sure he implied ‘fuck the system’ at least three times during a seminar once. yesterday, when all the desks were in dissaray rather than a horseshoe, he said 'well we don’t have to be so completely classicistic about the form’.

“so what institution did your punk professor rage about today?” a friend asks, jokingly.
“the church.”

  • Jimin and Jungkook were really good friends, maybe even a little more than that, before Jungkook joined Bangtan, and six member group.
  • Years have passed, probably too many since Jungkook saw Jimin’s beautiful smile, and he misses it. He missed the time they would spend together, the easiness of life, the laughs they would share.
  • Of course the rest of Bangtan were great friends, but nothing could replace Jimin, or maybe Jungkook just didn’t want anyone to ever be let in enough to be able to take his spot.
  • Bangtan are on there very last show of their tour, and they are all worn out. They breeze through the set list with ease, grinning brightly at fans who show their support.
  • Jungkook doesn’t know why, but something is up. Getting out of bed in the morning seems particularly hard, and standing on the edge of the stage, looking out across the masses of people, the screams that usually pulse through him, seem to fade.
  • Would he trade all of this, these people who supporting him, screaming his name, if he got the choice, for just one person? One person who looked up at him as if he was the world, as if he was the only thing that existed. That Jungkook could smile sincerely down at, only the two of them together.
  • Even as he turned back to the group, smiling slightly at Taehyung trying to get Yoongi to play with him, he couldn’t shake the feeling. They performed and mucked around, enjoying the atmosphere.
  • The last chords of the song drew to a close, their fans chanting the lyrics. Hoseok said his part first, thanking everyone, but most of all ARMYs. All through Taehyung’s turn Jungkook seemed to be off somewhere, not tied to reality.
  • Why wasn’t Jimin here, why couldn’t their friendship work out? Why did he have to leave become an idol? Why did it even all matter?
  • He longed for something else, feeling very out of place on stage, lights too bright. Then someone was saying his name, and his inner monologue was cut short. Turning to Namjoon, everyone teasing him for spacing out.
  • “You have to be more focused, Kookie.”
  • It as Taehyung who said it, but all Jungkook could see was Jimin, hitting him gently on the shoulder, smiling up at him while trying to help him with his work.
  • Something painful pulled in Jungkook’s chest, and he tried to draw himself together. Looking probably for the millionth time across the crowd, the face he wanted never appearing.
  • “We never imagined that we would be here today,” Jungkook started, trying to just be lead by his words. “Or at least I never did. I never thought that I would become and idol. I would finish school, go to uni, find a job then settle down.”
  • Words echoed in his head, everything suddenly magnified. In his moment of reminiscence and loss, there was nothing else that came to mind. The words were unplanned, and Jungkook didn’t know what to do.
  • “Someone very close to me once asked me to promise them that if I ever were to be famous, that I wouldn’t suddenly forget being me.”
  • Jungkook don’t know what compelled him to say it, but it was something Jimin had one day said to him earnestly, making him promise.
  • “He told me the best thing about being famous was being able to help others.”
  • If Jimin could see him now he would be shocked that his usually disobedient brat of a friend had quoted him twice, and spoke fondly of him.
  • “Who is this person?” Said Taehyung curiously.
  • “I’ve never heard of him,” Jin said, clutching his chest in mock hurt.
  • Jungkook rolled his eyes at his hyung, who right now reminded him so much of Jimin. Why did everything suddenly just lead back to Jimin?
  • “Well he was my best friend from high school,” Jungkook said softly, his voice bouncing through the room.
  • “Why only mention him now?”
  • Jungkook shifted from one foot to the other, trying not to think too much about Jimin. He felt oddly hot and stuffy, surprised at the lump in his throat.
  • “I don’t know, I just thought I would share with ARMYs.”
  • The fans cheered, Jungkook grinning.
  • “Are you being sentimental Jungkook? Is our Golden Maknae showing emotions?” Seokjin’s tone was teasing, but the question made Jungkook want to wince.
  • “It’s nothing Jin.”
  • Seokjin raised his eyebrows, lifting his chin comically. “Aish it’s Hyung, brat.”
  • Jungkook’s grin turned a little sad, eyes falling to his hands on the microphone. He could feel the tears forming just under his eye, ready to spill over. “Jiminie used to make me call him Hyung all the time.”
  • After Jungkook’s impromptu moment of sincerity, they all continued and before they knew it, the lights dimmed and they all stepped off stage.
  • Worn out, but smiling they sat tired and sleepy, while the nonnas removed their smudged makeup. Despite his expression, Jungkook’s mind was racing at a million miles an hour, consumed with the thought of Jimin. He didn’t even think to consider what might happen because of him saying Jimin’s name on stage.
  • In short, fans went crazy. They had no idea who this ‘Jiminie’ was but they were determined to find out.

BTS’s Jungkook Sparks Curiosity

At recent Bangtan concert, Jungkook talks about someone very close to him, possibly even mentioning a name…

'Jiminie’

Fan are going crazy over speculation regarding a very close somebody of BTS’s Jungkook…

BTS FanChat #1

SwaggySugaDADDY: WHAT JUST HAPPENED??!

tonguetechnology: IDK

chOngJojUnbAlsa: come on guys why had a million theories on wings we gotta have something

Hobi-Hope: so here’s what we know: Jungkook mentioned someone very close to him, who he must have known before he was an idol. Also we might be able to assume that he is sad about this friend, because he looked really sad, maybe they lost contact when he became an idol. Then when Jin was telling Jungkook off he said that 'Jiminie’ used to make him call him Hyung, be aware of the past tense here. Again Jungkook looks close to tears when he says it. It may actually be possible that the two are the same person.

mrs.seokjin: that’s so sad if kookie sacrificed his friend ship to be an idol

StuffInfiresMe: sometimes we forget they’re human too

chOngJojUnbAlsa: I want to find this person

SwaggySugaDADDY: I shall lead the man hunt

mrs.seokjin: so we’re finding Kookie’ long lost friend?

SwaggySugaDADDY: DID YOU SEE JUNGSHOOK’S SAD SMILE??!!

StuffInfiresMe: honestly they’re probably in love

SwaggySugaDADDY: OMG YES I DIDNT THIBK OF THAT!

SwaggySugaDADDY: THIS CHANGES RVERYTHUNG!!!!

SwaggySugaDADDY: WE MUST FIND JIMINIE IMMEDIATELY

chOngJojUnbAlsa: but wat about the ships we already have

SwaggySugaDADDY: THEY CAN GO TO HELL!! I HAVE A NEW SHIP AND IM CALLING IT JIKOOK!!! THE REST CAN GO TO HELL

SwaggySugaDADDY: IT WILL BE THE RULER OF ALL THE SHIPS

SwaggySugaDADDY: I WILL FIND KOOKIES LOST LOVE AND JOIN THEM AGAIN

SwaggySugaDADDY: THEY ARE SOULMATES

dancemonie: pardon?


VKOOKIE @doyouknowvkook
Whoever this 'jiminie’ person is, they better watch out

Miya @thisarmylovestaekook
@doyouknowvkook same! Jungkook being all sad makes my vkook deprived

VKOOKIE @doyouknowvkook
jiminie better get lost.

Miya @thisarmylovestaekook
like can’t he go find someone else to annoy. I bet he’s ugly as hell.

VKOOKIE @doyouknowvkook
I SHIP SO MUCH I COULD KILL THIS JIMINIE FOR TAEKOOK TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER

Miya @thisarmylovestaekook
just wait, I bet army’s gonna find whoever this BIATCH is, so we can take him down

myg @kpop_yaoi_fangirl
@thisarmylovestaekook @doyouknowvkook how do you two call yourself army’s?

myg @kpop_yaoi_fangirl
if you care for Jungkook at all, you would respect this person, not threaten to kill him

myg @kpop_yaoi_fangirl
Even if you don’t, this person is a human being, who doesn’t deserve any of what you’ve said. You’re disgusting and inhumane.

VKOOKIE @doyouknowvkook
So we’re suddenly not allowed free speech?

myg @kpop_yaoi_fangirl
You have no right to disrespect another human. Threats with malicious intent are illegal and covered under harassment.

Miya @thisarmylovestaekook
You just a hater

VKOOKIE @doyouknowvkook
what are you? a lawyer?

myg @kpop_yaoi_fangirl
to speak without thinking is to shoot without aiming. both of you are threatening to kill someone, and you wonder why people get annoyed at army’s.

INFIRES MAN @bangtan-brwnsugar
@kpop_yaoi_fangirl be preaching the real shit, you 2 just to dumb to listen

Miya @thisarmylovestaekook
whatever

Eomma Jin @joonsdimples
you real mature. type and death threat then just 'whatever’

VKOOKIE @doyouknowvkook
so everyone’s just going to come and gang up on us like pompous bitches

Kookie + Tae @sidehoe4yoongay
as a vkook shipper I am repulsed by this. yes I think they’re a cute, but I respect their decisions, whatever they may be, and you should too

Eomma Jin @joonsdimples
@kpop_yaoi_fangirl was right to step in on your little tweet party

INFIRES MAN @bangtan-brwnsugar
IDOLS ARE HUMAN TOO

myg @kpop_yaoi_fangirl
fans are a reflection of the idols. please make it a happy one 

(pt.2 coming soon)

Im not going to uni today because my teacher is sooo bad at explaining things I didn’t get what he told us to read last week, and as we have to do group readings this week I dont really fancy not having a clue what to say when he asks me what did I read this week. None of the people in my group have a clue either. 
He’s so bad at teaching, me and my friend started calling him Jack Black as
1. He looks like him
2. He’s clearly a fake Teacher…right? I mean there is no Uni teacher who can be THIS bad.

This class is a School of Rock parody, but with Hitler as the lead singer. 

So far he got our set textbooks names wrong, so nobody in class knew what we were reading.
He even told us he didn’t realize he was teaching 50 students, he was expecting about 17.
He missed out and got things wrong in the Module booklet so he spent 20 mins going through it and asking us to change words and cross things out and replace them with the right websites/books/sources… 
Then last week he asked us to look at Nazi Propaganda, but forgot to tell us which ones he wanted us to look at and then moaned when we came in with the wrong ones…

He’s so bad I was thinking of doing Nazi Germany for my final project next year… if he is supervising I will go do Rome just to get a good grade, because he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing. 

Tagging @stilesmieczyslaw as they know full well my pain!!!

I had 4h of clinical biochemistry today vbdfjvbdfjbvjdfs

03/10/17

It’s already October! Time really flies!
Today I went to uni and attended two of my classes. Marketing is becoming with every lesson more and more interesting. But I’m a bit struggling with maths, really didn’t miss this subject. I feel like what i’m learning it’s just maths for maths sake, without any real application. But, anyway, I’ll try my best to understand it and ace the exam.
Also did some maths homework while waiting for the bus.
Hope your day we’ll be as productive :D

You All Deserve Each Other

Heyo!

summary: Dan Howell is the errand boy for the popular girls at Uni. he has to carry shopping, order drinks and even ask out guys for them. One fateful day at Starbucks, however, the guy they want Dan to ask out for them… is his boyfriend. 

if you think you may have already come across this story, well sort of. I changed the plot a bit but I still got permission! Don’t sue me! 

Link: A Breath Of Fresh Air by Ink-Stained-Tea

Disclaimerdisclaimerdisclaimerdisclaimerdisclaimerdisclaimerdisclaimer

Here we go!

Phan status – together

Warnings – swearing

If you asked Dan Howell what he currently thought about school, he’d probably just swear at you.

For one, he didn’t even want to be a lawyer, so why the fuck was he taking law?

He was also the errand boy for the popular bitches.

Shopping? He was carrying the bags

Coffee? He was ordering, picking up, and generally doing anything besides having coffee

Cute guy? Dan had to ask him out for the girls

Lunch line? He was queueing

Lines in general? He was queueing

Test? He took the notes

You get the general idea.

The one thing Dan did like about going to this Uni, was that it was he was closer to where his boyfriend, Phil lived.

Keep reading

I never deserved you

     Sorry it took so long to post but I have school, and now is exam time, so I don’t have a lot time to write, so bear with me guys. School comes 1st, because if I don’t get good grades I’ll never be able to be a translator because there’s no way I could pay for the uni, that one is too expensive.
    This an imagine for an anon. She said I can decide what I’ll write and all she wants is that I use her name; which would be Harriet. So, after a long time aka a month and a half here it is. I really love this!!
It would mean A LOT if you guys let me know what you thought, so message me:D

  A/N: Harry’s messages are in bold and hers are in italic. Also Harry is not a a member of 1D here. This an AU imagine.
Warning: Contains mature content.

Other:
-imagines;
-Checkout boy;
-Now my heart is broken,all my scars are open…

P.S. Sorry if I overlooked any spelling mistakes, it’s almost midnight and I am tired and I am also sick. I reread for spelling errors but it’s possible I missed some. I’ll check/edit it again in the morning. 

***************************

Harriet’s POV

I’m gonna pick you up. X

Harry, seriously, I’m on my way..just relax. I can manage the way to your place on my own.

Okaaay…but I wanted to pick you up. I missed you so much these past few days.

I missed you too. Now I have to get off the phone if you want me to be there in less than 5 days. :D

You’re walking ‘till here? I’m coming for you. Where are you??

You’re not. I’m almost there. :*

You’re so stubborn.

You don’t say?

I hate you.

Liar!

Sure about that?

Mhm, positive love.

Just get here.

I’m right outside the building baby.

Great. Xxx

I went up the stairs that led to Harry’s apartment. Before I had the chance to knock on the door or ring the bell the door opened. There he was, standing in tight jeans and a white shirt, just being smoking hot. Just like that. A huge smile on his face, dimples on full display. He took my hand and quickly moved me inside. Right away his lips were on mine, and he shut the door with his foot.  He pulled away to breath in air, and I turned around to lock the door. “Well hi.”-I said. “Hi.”-he smiled. “Hope you’re hungry because I made dinner for us. Let’s go there before it gets cold.” “I’m starving! What did you make?”-I asked enthusiastically. “Your favorite.”-he said proudly.
   I hugged him from behind, and kissed his shoulder. He put the plates on the counter and turned around to place so our lips could meet for the second time that night. We sat down to eat. We were sitting next to each other.
-“So how was your day Harriet?”-he asked me.
-“Well pretty boring, and Jane went to visit her parents so I really miss her, but she’ll be back by the end of the week.”
-“What did ya do?”
-“Nothing much, just studying.”
-“How are things at uni love?”
-“Not bad, but I have a huge paper to finish; though it’s not a big deal, you know I love translating.”
-“You sure do.”
-“Anyway…how was your day? What did you do, besides making this delicious meal?”
-“Went to work, then back home, took a nap, went to buy some groceries, and you know the rest I made dinner, talked to you and you came here.”
-“How was work?”-I asked.
-“Exhausting. Today was quite exhausting, but I don’t feel tired now.”

We continued talking while we ate.  When we finished he placed the dirty plates in the sink, and we went to his living room to watch a film, and he poured us a glass of vine. Somewhere in the middle of the film, the one I didn’t find really interesting, I started shifting around on the couch.

-“What’s wrong? You don’t like the film?”
-“Actually it’s a bit boring.”
-“We don’t have to watch…… What shall we do instead?”-Harry asked with a wink.
I came closer to him, and said: “I wanna cuddle.” And he laughed a little. Then he scooped me in his arms, and placed me on his lap, so I was straddling him. We shared an intense glare and our lips collided. They were moving in-sync. I loved the feeling of his lips on mine, they were so soft, and he was an amazing kisser. He tugged on my bottom lip, and moved his tongue along it; asking for permission.  But I denied it, wanting to tease him. He moved his hand up my legs, and placed them on my hips. He rubbed circles there, and then pressed his thumb right on the spot under my hip bones, which made me moan a little and part my lips. He used the situation to move his tongue inside of my mouth. Our tongues moved against one another, battling for dominance, which, of course he won. He moved his lips down my jaw, and nibbled the soft skin right under my ear. “How about something more than just cuddling?”-he whispered in my ear and licked on my earlobe. He moved down my neck, leaving open mouthed kisses. I moaned when he bit on my sweet spot, surely leaving a mark. I took things in my own hands. I needed him right away. I tugged on the hem of his shirt and helped him take it off. He helped me slid out of my shirt.

  He took a look at the bra I was wearing and made a low groan because of the blue lace. Harry immediately attached his lips onto my skin. Moving slowly from my collar bones, down to the valley of my breasts; kissing the parts that were not covered. His hands crept up my waist, his touch so soft and smooth. I moved my hair to the side so he could unclasp my bra. It slowly slid it down my arms, and he threw it on the floor. Harry quickly cupped my breasts, and started sucking on my sweet spot. I threw my head back to allow him more access. My hands went down his toned stomach, to unbuckle the buttons of his jeans. As soon as I did that my hands crept down into the jeans so I was palming his semi hard member throughout his boxer briefs. He moaned against my neck, and I went a little faster.

I got up from his lap and got down to my knees, and tugged onto his jeans. He lifted his bum up so I can remove them. And I did, along with his boxer briefs. I took his hard member in my hand and started pumping slowly. I leaned my head down and licked the tip. I heard him groan as I did so. I licked it again, and just continued pumping slowly. “Don’t be a tease Harriet.”-he said, and I smiled. I started moving my hands faster up and down his length as I was sucking on his swollen head, which already had some pre-cum. I gradually took more of him in my mouth, and I wrapped my hands on what I hadn’t taken in. I looked up and made eye contact. I loved watching his expressions. His hand gripped my hair, into a ponytail. He slowly pressed my head down, to take more of him in. I felt him in the back of my throat, and I felt myself gag, but I fought the urge to pull away. I heard him moan, groan above me. I looked up again, through my lashes, to see his head thrown back. His hips bucked upwards slightly, and I pulled away a little, but I quickly went back down, and continued deep-throating him. Soon I felt him twitch so I pulled with a loud pop. I wanted him to cum inside of me.

I got up and he placed me down on the sofa right away. He quickly removed my jeans. He started kissing from my knees up my thighs, until he reached my panties. He tugged them down painfully slow. He placed a single kiss onto my dripping core, and that took one slow taste. I whimpered at the feeling. “Don’t be a tease Harry.”-I said the exact words he said to me. I felt him smirk against the skin just above my heat. And then he placed his mouth around my clit and started sucking. I tried bucking my hips up, but his hands held a strong grip on my hips. I felt myself getting closer. He moved his right hand from my hip and circled his index finger around my entrance. I groaned, when he pushed 2 fingers in. He was pumping them in a not-slow-but-not-really-fast pace. I bit on my lip to suppress my moans, but I failed. I felt the pit in my stomach start to build, and I was getting closer and closer to the edge. And that’s when he pulled away. Before I could say anything he was hovering over me and our lips attached. “I need you now.”-he groaned. I moaned quietly from his words. He looked down, and pumped himself a few times and leaned to my entrance.”Ready?”-he asked and I nodded. He slid in slowly and with ease, due the fact I was dripping wet. We both moaned in pleasure and relief. He stood still for a minute, allowing me to adjust to his size.

He started of slow, but he was gradually picking up the pace. His left hand held my hip, tightly, sure to leave a mark later. His right hand intertwined with my left, above my head. He placed his hand down, taking my left nipple in his mouth. I gripped his curls and arched my back a little. I moaned loudly as he went even faster. He started sucking on my neck, then he came up to place his lips on mine. As I was getting closer to the edge I started moving my hands up and down his back, digging my nails into his skin with every thrust. “I..I’m..”-I couldn’t manage to say a coherent sentence. “I know babe, me too. Just let go.” With one more hard thrust I arched my back, through my head back, my eyes rolled to the back of my head and cried out his name, as my orgasm ripped through me. Right after I felt him pull out and he came on my belly. He fell on top of me, his head in the crock of my neck, all his weight on me, but I didn’t mind. He placed lazy kisses on my neck, then lifted himself and placed kisses on my cheeks and then pecked my lips. He smiled at me. “I love you.”-he said and then kissed me again. “Love you.”

We took a shower and crashed on the bed. Just talking. I glanced at the clock and went to get out of the bed getting dressed.

-“What are you doing?”
-“I have to go baby.” I said that and came to the side of the bed and kissed him. He took my hand and turned me over so I was lying on the bed. Again.

-“Stay.”
-“I have classes in the morning Harry.”
-“When do they start tomorrow? They usually start around 11…”
-“Tomorrow? At 8.”
-“Skip ‘em.”
-“Why would I?”
-“You have better thing to do love.” I laughed a little. “Come on..Stay.”
-“I don’t know…”-I said, I liked this; sort of teasing him. He hovered over me and started kissing over my face.
-“Stay. Please.”
-“Okay.”-I smiled.

We cuddled on the bed for a while. And then his phone rang. His smiled faded. And I knew who it was. “Don’t answer it.”
-“I have to.”
-“Why?”-I said getting angry.
-“Because she’ll never stop calling and if I turn off my phone she’ll call the fucking National Guard…you know how obsessive she is.”
-“Fine.”-I trailed off.

He talked to her for like 3 minutes, and hung up. I turned my back to him and tried to fall asleep. “You’re too far away there, love.” He wrapped his hands around my waist and lifted me. He placed me onto his chest. My head on his chest, his hands around me. He placed a single, lingering kiss on my forehead. “This is better.”-he said. “Mhmm.”-I hummed and placed a kiss onto his chest. We fell asleep like that.

*2 days later*

I was studying and right when I was thinking about taking a pause, I heard my phone ring. It was Jane. My best friend.

-“Heey Jane.”
-“Hi Harriet. What are you doing?”
-“Taking a break from studying. You?”
-“Just looming around. I am pretty bored.”
-Come over then, we haven’t had a good talk in a while. And I need to tell you something important.”
-“Good or bad?”
-“You’ll know when you get there. When can you be here?”
-“In 10 minutes babe.”
-“I’m waiting for you.”

And in exactly 10 minutes she was at my door step. She is like clockwork while I was always late. Whenever we’d have an agreement on going out or something she would have to wait for me at least 10 minutes.
  As soon as she entered we shared a tight hug as if we haven’t seen each other in months and it’s only been 2 days. We were best friends for 14 years. We shared the good and the bad, and I felt awful that I still haven’t told her about Harry. But she has to understand. I’d feel guilty but when I’m with him he’d made me forget about everything

-“Harriet, honey, you’re suffocating me.”-Jane laughed.  I laughed also.
-“Sorry Jane.” We went to my living room.
-“Want something to drink? Eat?”
-“No we can eat and drink later, now…” She motioned for me to sit down. “…you talk. What is that you have to tell me?? I am anxious to find out….and a little nervous.”
-“Well you know how I’ve always had a huugee crush on Harry?”
-“Yeah, I know..and?”
-“Hmm…um..it turned out he feels something for me as well Jane…and…”
-“Don’t tell me this is going where I think it’s going.”
-“And we’re sort of dating….”-I trailed off.
-“Wait! Harry? What Harry? Styles?” I nodded at her question. “Harry Styles, the one with a girlfriend. The one who’s dating Sarah?  
  I looked down a little, putting it like that made me feel embarrassed. But that’s how it was, no matter how hard I tried to ignore it.
-“Yes, that Harry..”
-“Why didn’t you tell me earlier Harriet?”
-“I don’t know…”
-“Why are you with him? How do you know he’s not playing you??”
-“I know he isn’t just playing around! He loves me.”
-“How can you know that? Maybe he is telling her the same thing.”
-“He is not. You know nothing.”
-“And as I can see neither do you. Why would you allow that to yourself?”
-“You have no idea how he is with me! He treats me better than anyone ever has; he makes me believe I’m beautiful for at least a little while….He, he makes me feel loved and needed Jane.”
-“He has a fucking girlfriend Harriet!”
-“Don’t you think I don’t know that? Don’t you think I don’t feel guilty? But we’ll be together, he’ll leave her.”
-“That’s what all of them say. He just wants alternative, a fuck buddy, someone to please his needs from time to time…Do you realize what you’re doing?”
I felt angry and hurt; I was on the verge of tears. She was my best friend for fuck’s sake.
-“He wouldn’t do that!! You know nothing! Why are you being so bitchy?”
-“I’m being bitchy? And who’s dating a taken man?”
My hurt was more than noticeable. Why would she say anything like that?
-“What??”
-“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I am just worried Harriet. I’m worried you’ll get hurt.”
-“I can take care of myself.”
-“He’s not gonna leave her..”
-“Don’t say that. He will!” And I finally broke down, and felt the tears streaming down my face.
-“You really love him don’t you?”
-“More than you can imagine?”
-“I’m sorry because of my earlier behavior…tell me everything.”

We talked basically all day. Though she was a little judgy at first she was very understanding when she realized how strongly I fell for him. We spent the entire day together. We went shopping. I even bought 2 tickets for this film I really wanted to watch, so I figured Harry would fancy going to see it with me. I asked Jane if she wanted to have a sleep over but she had different plans which included her boyfriend. I got home, took a long shower, ate some dinner, laid on the couch and turned the TV on. I decided to text Harry because we didn’t talk since this morning.

Hey baby! Are you busy?

No, never if you’re asking. ;) What are you doing? How was your day?

It was good, spent it all with Jane:D  How are you? How was your day?

Fine, but bored. The day was boring, and I miss you!

I miss you too babe! What are you doing right now?

I’m at the cinema.

Are you with her?

Babe…that’s not important.

So you are.

I am.

My heart began to pond hard, but what did I expect?!! She is his fucking girlfriend.

What are you watching?

I think it’s _____________.

I looked at the tickets I bought.  He is already watching that film. With her. My eyes were filled with tears. This may seem stupid to anyone else, but… I don’t know, I wish I was there with him, not her. I wish he would just leave her. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. How much more I can wait. But he said he will. I trust him. He said he loved me. He would never hurt me.

My thoughts were running wild….I felt like shit. I am just a mistress, aren’t I? I turned off my phone and laid like that on the couch, tears just falling down my cheeks. I cried myself to sleep at dawn. I knew that because I felt the sun starting to creep in through the thin curtains. 

I woke up at 2 o’clock. I felt like I got run over by a truck. I took a shower. I needed it. It felt so relaxing and calming to feel the warm water embrace my body. I went to the kitchen after it but I wasn’t hungry.

I remembered I turned off my phone so I went to turn it on. There were 6 messages and 2 missed calls. Both of them from Harry. And I assumed the messages were as well.

Are you free tomorrow? I’d really like to see you.

Babe…

Why aren’t you answering? Are you mad at me?

What was I supposed to do?? She practically dragged me to the fucking cinema..

Harriet, love, why did you turn your phone off?

Okay, babe, just, please call me when you see these messages. Love you! Xx

I didn’t reply though I wanted to. I decided to give him a cold shoulder. I didn’t want to be his lover. I wanted to be selfish and have him just for myself. I want him to be mine, and mine only. It hurt lying down on the bed sheets alone, knowing she is probably in his at that time. It made my chest ache just thinking his pouty, soft, pink lips are touching hers, her skin, that he is touching her probably the way he touched me, so soft and delicate. As the image of the two of them under the sheets came to my mind and remained stuck there I felt like I was going crazy. I just took the pillow and threw it cross the room.  I felt guilty. It’s hard when I remember that this woman, no matter how repulsive she is to me, is gonna get hurt because of me. If she finds out on her own it’ll be worse. It hurt that we had to hide, it hurt he still hasn’t done something about our…well…let’s call it situation. I hear my phone buzz and I was hoping it wasn’t Harry. And it wasn’t. Thank God. I didn’t feel like talking to him.

-“Hey Jane.”
-“Hey love. How are you?”
-“Not so good..”
-“Is it because of him?”
I didn’t say anything.
-“It is, I know it is. I’ll come by as soon as I can Harriet.  You’ll be okay, right?”-she added.
-“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

I spent good 4 and a half hours with Jane. She always knew how to make me feel better. And she brought cake! She knew me oh so well. I loved how we could understand what is the other one going through just by one look. Our chat was interrupted with a message from her boyfriend. They were the cutes couple ever. I swear. “Is it Matthew?” She nodded. He asked her if she wanted to go to some restaurant that night, to grab some dinner. She was going to tell him that she was going to stay with me that night but I told her to go.
-“I can manage a night without you Jane. Go have fun with your boyfriend.” –I said.
-“It’s just a dinner babe.” -
-“Don’t give me that crap. You know what comes afterwards.” She laughed and so did I.
-“Okay, but you promise you’ll be okay?”
-“I promise.”
-“And I am taking your black dress, the one you bought 2 weeks ago.”-she added.
-“You’re not.”
-“Oh, I think I am.”

She stayed for another half an hour and left. She gave me a tight hug when and a kiss on the cheek before she exited the door.

While she was here Harry has sent me numerous messages, but I hadn’t replied. He also called but I didn’t answer. Good thing my phone was on silent mode, so Jane hasn’t heard the buzzing nor vibrations.

Harriet?? Why aren’t you answering nor picking up your phone love? Come on if you’re angry at me let’s talk, act like adults.

Come on love, pick up the phone.

He called for the 7th time that day and I finally picked up.

-“What do you want?”-I coldly asked.
-“Well hello to you too.”
-“In case you haven’t noticed I am trying to ignore you so stop messaging me and stop calling me Harry.”
-“Why? Where is all this coming from?”
-“Do you really have to ask?”
-“Please don’t be like that. Let’s meet up and ta-“
-“No.”-I cut him off and hung up. I was sure he’ll try to call again so I turned my phone off once again.

I felt a sudden rush of energy since I was really angry at him. I started rearranging the wardrobe in the closet, though it was already nicely folded and all. Then I started cleaning my flat up and down, even the kitchen thought I cleaned it yesterday and I still felt the need to something even after I finished all that. On any anther day I’d be exhausted by now after all the chores done, but not today apparently. I forced myself to just sit down on the couch and calm down. I turned the TV on and flipped the channels. I couldn’t find anything that was really appearing interesting, so I settled on watching CSI Miami, though I have watched these episodes a few times already. That’s a thing about me I loved crime series but I can’t watch a horror film for longer than 5 minutes, because I feel like I’ll faint. And on the other hand Jane loves them. You should see us watching a horror film together. While I’m screaming or covering my eyes with my palms or something like that, she is just casually chewing down popcorn, and having this blank expression or just laughing at my reactions.

I heard a door bell ring and it was Jane. She stormed in and said: “I forgot my phone here.” I laughed. “Hey, hey, you’re not in that big of rush. Let me see what you look like.” I took a look at her and she was beautiful as always. “It looks better on you than it does on me.” She smiled. “You look breathtaking love.” “Thank you babe.” She kissed my cheek. “But I have to get going Matthew is in the car waiting for me. Bye.” “Bye.”

I returned to watching the CSI, when I heard the door bell ring again, 2 minutes later. I got up and opened the door blindly, thinking it was Jane again. “What did you forget now?”-I asked while opening the door. To my surprise it wasn’t Jane, it was Harry. He smiled at me and came in.
-“Did I say ‘come in’?”
-“Do you prefer having a conversation in the hall?”
I rolled my eyes and went to the living room.
-“There’s nothing to talk about.”
-“Of course there is. You didn’t answer to my messages, you don’t return my calls, you suddenly decided to stop the conversation last night and just switch of your phone. How mature Harriet.”
-“Oh shut up! I don’t want to talk to you anymore. I can’t do this. I can’t wait anymore. The guilt is killing me. How can you not understand that?!!”
-“I already told you I will leave her, but I just can’t right now.”
-“And why is that?! Why??”
-“Just calm down. You have to trust me? I love you, damn it. We just need to be patient, just a little more.”
I laughed sarcastically.
-“You know what? Jane is right! She is sooo right!”
-“What are you talking about??”
I didn’t answer I just stood there and shook my head for some reason.
-“Harriet, what are you talking about?”
-“You’re never gonna leave her, are you? You’re just playing me! You. Don’t. Give. A damn about me!! You’re just using me for some good time on the side! Why? Why would you do that??!!!” –I yelled.
   I couldn’t help the tears, I just broke down. I refused to believe that what Jane had said at the very beginning was right. He came closer to me, but I shrugged.
-“Go away!”
-“No, I won’t. Don’t push me away. Don’t you realize I love you?!”
-“How am I supposed to believe you? You and she should’ve been over weeks ago!”
-“I promised love, and I will, but now is not the time. Believe me.”
-“And when will?!!”
-“In 2 weeks.”
-“Why then?! Why then and not now?!!”
-“Because she is going through a rough time, and it doesn’t matter what a bitch she has been, and that I don’t like her, now it’s not the time.”
-“She is going through a rough time? And I? I am living a paradise?!”
-“Baby I know, ju-“
-“If she’s going through such a bad time in her life, go to her! Leave me! I don’t want to be just a fuck buddy. Don’t you understand?”
He hugged me, though I protested. Tightly. Something about the way he always held me made me feel weak, and I gave in a little.
-“I promised love, I will, I just need a little more time.”

I didn’t say anything, I just sat on the couch; my face in my hands. I lifted my head up to look at him. He was standing in front of me; his eyes were sad and worried. He ran his hand through his hair, and then kneeled between my knees. He took my hands in his, and rubbed my palms. He looked straight into my eyes and spoke.

“Don’t you trust me?”

I froze at his words. I did, but I was feeling insecure and I felt like couldn’t trust my judgment. This is one of those times when your mind tells you one thing and your heart tells you the opposite. He continued rubbing my palms, tingles ran through my body. His touch was so electrifying. I felt my body slowly relaxing. I started giving into him. Way too easily, way too fast.

“I would never do anything to hurt you! I love you!”

“I know you wouldn’t.”-I whispered.

“Then tell me you trust me. I need to hear it.”-he said, he sounded like he was in pain.

“I trust you.”

He let go of my palms and moved his hands around my waist. He kept his gaze on mine.  Our noses brushing and our lips millimeters away, but not touching. “I love you. Don’t forget that. you have to believe me.”
-“I do.”-I said. I was convinced too easily.
-“And I will keep my promise, I just need a little more time.”
-“How much time?”
-“A few weeks..”
-“A few weeks?”
-“A few weeks.”
-“And then you two are done for good?”
-“Exactly. I promise.”
-“God, why do I believe you so much?”
-“Well it’s mutual…..I love you.”
I giggled. He said it so many times today.
“I just want to make sure you know it.”
-“Show me.”

And he did, that night I fell for him even more, if that’s even possible. He didn’t rush me into anything, though it’s not like he ever did. I changed into my pj’s and he put on some grey sweats and white shirt he had at my place. We were on the bed cuddled with one another. I have no idea how did we find so many themes to talk about. We literally didn’t shut up. Well to be completely honest, I talked the most; he just laid there and listened to anything I had to say. He was always a good listener. I kept yapping about my day as he closely listened. Then he said what he had been up to these past 3 days we hadn’t seen each other. It was really nice. He started stroking my hair, as I was telling him about something Jane and I had done when we were 10. We were just sharing random memories and it was so nice, I really enjoyed that time we spent together. I took a look at the clock that was placed on my bedside table, and it read 2 am. Where did the time go??

-“Look at the time Harry, we should go to sleep.”
-“But I’m not sleepy.”-he groaned.
-“But, it’s 2 am. What can we do at 2 am?”
-:We can talk some more.”
-“We talked plenty babe.”
-“Hmmm..then.” he said, and hovered over me, and kissed my forehead and then pecked my lips, “I can think of a better acivity.” 
-“What would that be?”

He didn’t say a word, he just smirked and rubbed his nose with mine. And slowly got closer to my lips. He started of slow, but it became rougher, more needy, more intense.  He pulled off with a huge grin on his face.

-“I don’t know, I’m quite sleepy.”
-“Liar. I know you’re not. And I am not tired at all.”-he still smiled.
I fake yawned, I loved messing with him. “You may not be, but I am.”
He groaned at my words. And I couldn’t suppress a laugh. I found it too funny.
“Why are you messing with me? You’re mean.” I laughed even more.
 

 He hovered back over me, my hands above my head, our fingers intertwined. “You don’t seem sleepy to me love.” I quit on the teasing and just gave in. Just the way he looked at me could melt me. No one has ever looked at me with such passion and appreciation. He kissed me, and I smiled into the kiss. When he pulled away he took my bottom lip between his teeth. He was already shirtless and my hands were on his shoulders. He tugged on the shirt aka upper part of my pj’s. He helped me take it off and quickly unclasped my bra.

I felt a blush creep up to my cheeks. A sudden feeling of shyness, like my self esteem has disappeared. It was strange, because I was always so comfortable with him, like I didn’t have a single care in the world.
“Is something wrong?” Harry asked. I guess he noticed I was behaving slightly different. “No, no, everything’s fine.” He laid me down and placed kisses from underneath my ear, over my jaw, and down my neck. He lifted his had up and looked at my eyes. His were now a dark shade of green. His hand went to caress my cheek, moving his thumb along it. “You know you’re beautiful, right?” I shyly smiled. My eyes looking around the room, anywhere but into his. “Look at me.” – he smiled. “Say it.”-he gently said.
-“Say what?”
-“Say that you’re beautiful.”-he softly smiled again.
-“I’m beautiful.”-I whispered, my voice a little weak.
-“Say it in a stronger voice, like you believe it love. Because you are. Damn, you’re a goddess.”
-“I-I’m beautiful.” The smiled on his face was wide and contagious, so I smiled as well. His lips came to my ear and he whispered: “You should always believe it Harriet. Because you are beautiful.” His words send shivers down my spine.
____________
After we made love, he flipped me so my back was pressed to his front. He wrapped his strong hands around me and placed a lingering kiss onto my shoulder. He nuzzled his face into her and said that he loved her. She closed her eyes, tiredness getting the better of her. Right when she was about to fall asleep Jane’s words came to her mind. “That’s what all of them say….He’s not gonna leave her.” She shook her head. ‘He wouldn’t do that! He promised, And I believe him.’-She told to herself.

6 weeks later

 

I was waiting for Harry to come by. And he was late. Not 5, not 10 minutes late; but 1 hour late. And his phone was turned off. I was starting to get worried, all my anger put aside. Right then I heard a loud knock on the door. I went to open the door. It was Harry. “It’s about time, don’t you think??!” He didn’t say a word. He looked like he has been ran over by a track. 
-“We have to talk.”
-“Yes we do.”
-“Look it’s been 6 weeks since you said you will be done in 2 weeks, and I-“
-“Can you let me speak 1st? I have something to tell you.” His voice was low.
-“Go on.”-I angrily said.
-“Sar-Sarah called me today. She said, she said she had big news. She…well I got there, and she…hmmm..she told me.. I got there and asked her…she..”
-“What Styles? What did she tell you?!”
-“She…Sa-Sarah’s pregnant.”

His words hit me, like a sharp blade through my chest. I felt dizzy and all the color from my skin disappeared, I was as white as a ghost. I sat back on the sofa because I didn’t have the strength to stand at that moment. What??!! I innerly screamed. I couldn’t process his words.
-“I, I  didn’t plan this to happen…I got home drunk that night and..”
-“What Harry? You haven’t heard of contraception? Condoms? Safe sex?”

He stayed quiet.

-“What now??!”
-“I don’t know. She is carrying my baby. Maybe..”
-“Don’t even think about telling me we should wait a little more. Because there is no us anymore, and I never should’ve been with you. I never should’ve let this happen, to be with a taken guy. I shouldn’t have let you fool me like this! We are over!”
-“Harriet, just let-“
-“Save your breath….Have you cheated on her before? Or just with me? did you tell then the same things you were saying to me? You probably have, haven’t you?!”
-“No, I’ve never been with anyone but you, while I was with…”
-“Just say it. You never cheated on her, besides with me!”
-“I want you to know that I really lo-“
-“Don’t even try! Get out!”

I saw tears in his eyes, but I was too hurt to care at that point.

“And don’t try to contact me! No messages, no calls, if you run into me somewhere don’t say anything, walk by me like we have never met; ‘cause I know I’ll do that.”

“I won’t.”-he said. Hurt was evident in both of our voices.

Harry’s POV

I went to my car and hit the gas. I drove fast and I had no idea where I was going. I lost the best thing I had in life because I was stupid. Styles you are a fucking idiot!! Idiot!! I pulled away in some parking lot. I had no idea where I was. I placed my hands in the steering wheel and put my head down. I cried like a little child. But this was my fault. All my fault. I went into this bar that I saw through the window and decided to get hammered. Just to make the pain more bearable.

Harriet’s POV

I broke down. I felt like the room was spinning. Taking in air became difficult. I quickly called Jane to come over. I needed her. She was the only person I could talk to. I should’ve listened to her. She was right. And I was blind.

2 years later

“Come Harriet go out with Mark. He is super cute, and he’s been so nice to you, and you’ve been stone cold.” – Jane was insisting. “You need to live a little. Nothing bad can come from a date.”

-“I don’t really feel like going.”
-“And why not?”
-“No special reason.”
-“Come on Harriet. I know it wasn’t easy for you but you have to move on. Have you seen how he is around you?”
-“Yes, I have. Okay, okay..I’ll go out with him.”
-“Awesome!”

I lazily got dressed, and put on a little make up. We were going to meet up at some restaurant. I was there exactly on time. Which was strange for me. I actually waited for him for like 5 minutes. “Hey Harriet.” He said and kissed my cheek, “Hi Mark.” 
We went inside and set down. We ordered something to eat, and tried to make small talk. The atmosphere was awkward. I started looking around, and my eyes widened in shock. I saw Harry sitting at a table with Sarah and a little boy. Was he? He has to be. That’s his kid. He has a son. I quickly got up and went to the toilet. “I…I need to use the restroom.”-I quickly said. I was hoping he didn’t see me, because they were on their way to exit. It hurt seeing the two of them together. And by the quick glance I could see he looked like Harry. He had his curls. When I was about to enter the restroom, I let a single tear roll down my cheek, I felt someone take a hold of my hand. I froze. I knew his touch, I knew who it was. It was Harry.

“Harriet.” I turned around. I haven’t heard his voice in so long. “Hi.”-he said.
-“Hello.”-I nervously said.
-“How are you?”
-“Good. You?”
-“Not bad. What brings you here?”
-“I’m here with a friend.”
-“You don’t have to lie if you’re on a date.”
-“What brings you here?”-I asked.
-“Sarah.”
-I see you two are still together..”
-“We’re not.“ 
-“Then why are you out together?”
-“We broke up a year ago; a little after Jason was born. I am trying to get an agreement with her on when will I see Jason. I won’t settle to every other weekend. I am his father.”
-“I’m sure you’re an amazing dad.”
–“I do my best.”
-“He looks like you.”-I smiled.
-“He does.”-he smiled back.”Has my hair, and my eyes and my dimples.” 

-“I like the name, Sounds like something you’d choose.”
-“Soo…how’s life going?”
-“Not bad. I got this job almost right after I graduated.”
-“When did you graduate?”
-“Four months ago.”
-“Congratulations. I wish I was there…”
-“Yeah…I guess it’s too late now.”
-“Look Harriet, I just need you to know that every time I said I loved you I meant it, and I regret what I did every single day. I was stupid to lag it, I don’t know why I did it..I guess I was scared of my feelings..but that’s no excuse. I just needed to let you know this. I loved you then, and I love you now, and I will love you always. But I don’t deserve another chance; I had too many, so I am not asking for one. I never deserved you. I need you to know that I never lied when it came to how I felt about you Harriet. I hope you’ll find someone who will appreciate you, because I obviously never knew how, if I let you slip away.”

He came to me and kissed me on the cheek and left. “Bye beautiful.” 

*********************************************

This by far the longest imagine I have ever wrote: 20 pages/6 654 words. Hope you all liked it! Xxx

                                                                                                 part 2 >>>

Second Anniversary Pt.1

Hey! I haven’t written a story or anything in years! But, I had this idea come into my head and had to write it down. I have read so many brilliant fan fictions on here for MMFD that I really wanted a go at writing my own too. There is a second part to this which I hope to have up next week.

Hope you like it :)

-

6:23pm, 04.12.1998

Two more hours. Just two more and I can go home, have a bath, put my pjs’ on and watch The 11 o'clock Show.

I need to find a new job and soon. This is just depressing. Mike has been here since we opened at midday. And Sally arrived not long after. Have they got nothing better to do with their lives than to just drink them away? I know they are paying my wages but still.

Guess I’ll just wipe the bar down .. again. Bored. Bored. Bored. BORED.

As I’m rinsing my cloth out I hear someone sit down at the bar. I know who it is before I even turn around. He has been here everyday at 6:30 for the last two weeks.

If he ain’t careful he will end up like the rest of this sorry lot.

I turn around and wait for him to finish taking his jacket off. He looks at me and gives me the same tight lipped smile he does everyday. His eyes are dark and guarded and his face looks a little blotchy like he has been crying. Though it could just be the cold has gotten to him. They were talking about snow on the news earlier.

“Usual Finny?”

“Yeah. Ta’ Cass.”

While I’m pouring I glance over at him chewing his fingernails. He is staring at the bar like it has all the answers written in it. There’s a slight wrinkle in his brow as he continues to chomp away at his hand. When I place his drink in front of him he starts and looks at me and gives me that same tight lipped smile.

He takes a sip of his drink and continues to stare down at the bar, that crinkle appearing again.

I should just leave it. He obviously doesn’t wanna talk about it.

He’ll talk to me when he’s ready. He hasn’t even noticed me staring at him.

I look around the rest of the pub at the sorry sods who have been wasting away here for years.

They must know each other. They spend everyday in the same pub but none of them talk to each other. They barely acknowledge one another. All just staring at their pints, or the clock, watching the days pass them by.

Finn doesn’t belong here. Not with these lot.

I pick my cloth back up and start cleaning the taps. He is now picking at the bar slowly with his change, making a dent in the old wooden surface.

Whatever is eating him up needs to come out. Usually it would be a few days and he would blab. But this was fucking ridiculous. Two weeks he’s been here. It must be bad.

Dad was talking about it on the phone last night with Gary. By the sounds of it he ain’t talked to no one. Just got up one day and decided he was coming here. He only ever comes here when things are shit in Stamford. The only time he didn’t was when Nan died and that’s only cause we all turned up there instead.

He also hasn’t mentioned Rae once since he got here. I know they broke up but Gary says they are still mates. She is usually all he talks about. It must be to do with Rae.

Gary says its not. Gary says he’s fine. Just having a hard time. My arse he’s fine.

I lean across the bar and pick the change out of his hands. That’ll stop him digging more holes.

When I turn back from the till he is now picking at the hole with his nails. Enough is enough.

"Come on then, out with it.”

He looks at me like a rabbit in headlights. Wide eyed and scared.

“Out with what?”

“Why are you here Finn?”

“I just wanted a dri-”

“Not in the pub, knobby, in Leeds. Why are you here? You only ever come here if things are shit at home. You can’t just sit in here drinking away the days. It’s been two weeks, Finn. Out with it.”

He looks back down at his drink, take another sip and swallows. He’s still looking at the bottom of his glass when he mumbles his reply.

“I don’t just come here when it’s shit.”

"On your own you do.”

He takes another sip and then downs the rest. He stares at the bottom of the glass for a minute. They all do that. He looks back up at me. His eyes stubborn but yielding.

“Fine. But I’ll have another one first.”

He starts picking at the bar again while I pour. That hole is only getting deeper.

“Finn stop-”

“We fucked it all up.” Sad eyes look up at me and then back down at his hands. I watch him as I place the drink down on the bar. He has another swig.

Then he starts speaking. And he doesn’t stop. “Both of us. Me and Rae. We both fucked it up. She started it but I made it so much worse. I don’t know why I believed her. She were going on about being Rae’s friend and how she was worried about her and how Bristol was Rae’s dream and how Rae deserved to get what she wanted. As if I didn’t know that! And then she turned up at mine going on about how Rae was dragging me down and I deserved better. As if! And then she threw herself at me and Rae turned up.”

He takes another swig and looks at me, defeated. “The look on her face Cass. Everytime I close my eyes thats the face I see. The amount of times I’ve seen her smile and laugh and its the look fo disgust that comes back to haunt me.  I should never of hidden her in my room. I thought Rae wouldn’t know she was there. Of course she knew. I should of told Rae, outright, why she was there and what had happened. Rae started it but if I wasn’t such a wanker we could of sorted it out. Moved past it you know.”

Finn has never said so many words in under 2 minutes. This must some sort of record. Whatever it was was really eating him up. I thought it would be like last time. This was much worse.

“We would of been together two years today. If I hadn’t fucked it all up.” He took another sip of his pint and stared back it hands.

I am so confused. “Okay so who’s this ‘her’ and what did Rae do that started all this? And where’s Rae now?”

“Katie. She was Rae’s … 'friend’. She’s a dick. Me and Rae were kinda on a break cause she lied to me. She told me she didn’t get into uni and agreed to move in with me. I turned up at the pub a few days later and everyone were going on about how I must be so proud of her cause she was off to Bristol. They were buying me and drinks and patting me on the back. So when I eventually found her she started coming out will all this bullshit, about how she didn’t wanna go cause I was the best thing that’s ever happened to her and all this crap. I didn’t wanna hold her back so I left and told her to decide. I thought that if I weren’t around she would make her decision on what she wanted not cause I asked her to move in with me. So all this crap happened and now she’s in Bristol.”

“Wait. So did anything happen between you and this … Katie?”

“No. She tried to kiss me and then Rae turned up. I pushed Katie in the bedroom cause I didn’t want Rae to know she was there cause she might get the wrong idea. It was stupid. She walked straight in and saw her.
I’m such a dick. I shouldn’t of hidden it. It made it look loads worse.”

“So, did you tell Rae? That nothing happened?”

“No.” He looked back down to the bottom of his glass. There’s never anything at the bottom of an empty glass. “I told her I did kiss her. Katie said Bristol is her dream and I didn’t want Rae to stay because of me. She needed to go off and have the life she deserves. I didn’t want to be her reason to stay and for her be unhappy. She always hated Stamford and she wasn’t gunna leave if she stuck with me. She deserves to be happy. Bristol will make her happy.”

And there it was. Why he was so miserable. It wasn’t because of what had happened. And it wasn’t because what had happened was unfixable. Telling the truth could fix it all. In Finn’s eyes Rae was happier without him.

It’s a Nelson trait. We all believe everyone is much better off without us. Like his Mum was happier without him and his Dad. Like my Mum was happier without me and my Dad. It happens often enough and you start to believe it.

Not them though. Finn needed Rae. They were always happier together than apart.

He was back to picking at the bar again.

“How do you know she’s happy?” He looks back up at me, that crinkle appearing again and then scoffs.

“Of course she is. It’s her dream.”

“Did Katie tell you that?”

“Well yeah-”

“And isn’t Katie the 'friend’ who tried to get off with her 'friends’ boyfriend?”

“Well yeah-”

“So, why the fuck are you taking what Katie say as gospel? Did you even ask Rae what she wanted?”

“I didn’t need to. She went to Bristol anyway so she obviously did want to go.”

God Finn could be tool sometimes. “Did she have any other options? She probably thought she had two until you lied and told her you snogged Katie. Why would she wanna stay to try and make things work with the knobhead who snogs her friends? She probably wanted to get out of town and as she already had a place at Bristol just went. It wasn’t really a decision by the sounds of it. Sounds more like she had no other options.

Have you spoken to Rae?”

“No. Not since she left.”

“So how do you know she’s happy?” I watch the realisation on Finn’s face appeared. He didn’t know. She could of been feeling just as shitty as him and he has no idea. Too busy wallowing in self pity.

“I don’t.”

“You should talk to her. At least then you’ll know. At least you’ll be miserable for a reason then.” He sticks his tongue out at me and I do the same. He smiles into his pint and goes to down the rest but places it back on the bar instead. He looks at me with a smirk and I can see the wheels turning.

“I’m gunna go see her.” He gets up and starts putting his jacket on.  

“What now? She lives 4 hours away!”

“Yeah. Look, if I ring her it makes me look like a coward. And you can lie on the phone too. She could pretend like its all hunky dory. No, I’m gunna go now and tell her what really happened. And that I’m sorry. For lying. For being a dick. Everything.” He fished his keys out of his pocket and then lent over the bar and kissed my cheek. When he stood back he had a proper, all teeth, grin on his face. God, I hope it goes well.

“Thanks Cass. I’ll call you when I get there okay. Tell Uncle Kev I’ll be back tomorrow. Or in a few days. You never know.” He winked and threw that big grin at me again. He was now at the door. “Laters.”

The door bangs shut behind him and Mike starts in the corner.

Sadie rushes through the door as the clock chimes, shouting apologies as she takes her coat off and hangs it out the back.

Half past eight. Home time.

-

11:57, 04.12.1998

Jeez! Who is this ringing at this time?

It could be Finn.

I pull the blanket off me and reach behind me for the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. I’m here. Her light’s on.”

“Okay. Good luck! And don’t leave until you have told her everything. And just the truth this time. No bullshit”.

“I know. Thanks again Cass.” He sounds nervous. Pull it together Finn.

“It’s alright. Now go! This conversation has been delayed long enough.”

“Alright, alright. Night Cass.”

“Night Finn.”

The line goes dead. I really, really hope it goes well.

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven’t been very active lately, been quite caught up in all my uni work

Anyway, I just wanted to share what I did today. My uni has this project called the CAVE which is an arrangement of tv screens that allows for an almost 360º view of things. We were guided through the Milky Way Galaxy in 3D, stars everywhere, clusters, constellations, actually being able to get a good perception of depth and distance. We were also given a 3D tour of Mars along with images taken by several rovers, shown nebulae and molecular clouds in super high def and also a simulation of a massive star forming region, seeing how tens (maybe even hundreds) of star systems form within the cloud. It was pretty damn awesome. The technology and work that has been put into this project really pays off with the stunning simulations and shows it produces.  

This, along with speaking with researchers about the projects I could take on next year as a part of my course really reignited my enthusiasm for astro and has given me a bit of a taste of where I could end up in the future. 

Yeah, its been a bit of a cool day for me today :)

(also I’ll try to post more photos from now on!!)

2

Hey everyone,
the Barduil Fan Meetup is a great idea, so here´s some things about myself : )

My name is Petra and I am an artist from germany. As long as I remember I´ve been a fan of something. It started with Star Wars when I was a kid, this changed into an obsession for Manga and japanese musicians when I was a teen, and I started my tumblr blog 4 years ago as fan of BBC´s Sherlock. (I am leaving out the uninteresting or embarrasing things here, just so you know) Nowadays my blog is mostly Barduil and Marvel, and sometimes I post my fanart too : )

I´ve been drawing as long as I can remember, and since I have absolutely no interest in doing anything else, I went to art university. I´ve studied design, because you can´t do anything as fancy as animation in germany. But it was a good thing in the end, because we learned a huge range of things, which I find very helpful today.
I left uni a few years later, and I still was not sure what to do with the things I´ve learned, but I knew I wanted to work for animated movies and tv shows. My first job was an internship as props designer for a 2D animated series. Basically I did whatever they threw at me and I ended up doing storyboard revisions. Only then I knew what I want to do, because I loved doing storyboards, even though it´s difficult as hell.
From there I´ve been an assistant director, a junior storyboard artist and 3 weeks ago I started my 4th job, as storyboard and comic artist for a tv show, which is my first job where I respond directly to the director.
Apart from storyboarding, I would like to try my luck and see if I can become a professional comic artist. My new years resolution was to apply as inker or penciler, but this is still in the making :´D

What else is there to say. I love movies, tv shows and going to the cinema. I love animals of all sorts and I want to have a dog someday (or two or three and a sheep). I could spend all my money on cool designer clothes (2nd hand though), comics and all kinds of electronics. I looove conventions (and cosplayers) and you can find my at the LBM, Frankfurter Buchmesse, Connichi and Comic Salon Erlangen every year.

I don´t really like talking about my self much, so this will stay rather superficial. But I am really happy for every message I get, so don´t be shy, drop by and say hello ·ヽ(◕◡◕❀ฺ )ノ

Cheers