this is what our lives have amounted to lol

My jog today in Central Park was anything but fancy. I’m 20lbs heavier and my knees killed me as I pounded the pavement on the steep inclines I never knew existed. Seriously though..the hills were killer and the last thing I expected in NYC. Anyway, when I looked down at my phone at the end of my run I realized I created somewhat of an infinity loop unintentionally.

I’m probably making more of this than what it is but I believe today’s run was a symbol of both my past and my future. I used to think that there was a start and finish line or rather a Point A and a Point B where the more weight I lost the more successful i was going to be and finally cross that magical finish line and be “done”. Everything became mathematical from the calories I ate to how many miles I put in each week. If I ate x amount of calories I could lose x amount of weight in x amount of time. I reflect back to last May when  I was the skinniest I’ve ever been but I realize now that skinny doesn’t equal healthy. It took me gaining weight and learning from my binge eating disorder to really understand and appreciate what healthy truly means. I may not be in my size 6’s anymore but I’m finally happy and healthy. This doesn’t mean I don’t slip up from time to time or have a negative mindset but this time I don’t let myself sit there too long lol.

We may not live forever but our journey’s are infinite with endless opportunities, experiences and memories just waiting to happen. I hope you find peace along the way and remind yourself to keep going no matter what obstacles you face. This is my wish for all of you.