this is what my mind comes up with on 2 hours of sleep





After a night of restless sleeping and worried about the shoot and interview I had gotten up and walked around the suite. I finally went to sleep that morning after breakfast I was quiet I had a lot on my mind. I stayed to myself for the next 2 hours.



“Lasia come on big mama it’s time to get ready, I’ll do your hair and make-up there” EJ said to me and I nodded. I stood up about to get dressed but couldn’t I’m about to have a Vibe shoot which I’ve been so excited for, I don’t know what was going on with me but I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t stand I went right to the floor. I was sitting on the floor crying all I can do is just sit here and cry, even though I need to get ready to go. Soon I felt arms around me just holding me tight and all I could do was cry and he’s EJ freaking out and thinks that he is the reason I’m crying and very down, but I can’t even explain to him what’s wrong.



Everything, yet nothing… Just life in general right now, but really nothing I think I’m just extremely overwhelmed with baby coming, school, work, relationship, the pressure from everyone I know right now, everyone waiting expectantly for me to go into labor or about opening my own art gallery and not shutting up about it. Feeling fat and not good about myself constantly thinking I’m going into labor but it’s always a false alarm. Just want my baby, so done with pregnancy.



“Lai” Chris said and came to us looking me over.



“She’ll be okay Chris give us a few minutes she’ll be out in a minute” EJ and I just leaned against him still crying. After a little while I finally calmed down and EJ helped me get dress and he fixed up my face to make it look like I wasn’t crying.



The whole time he didn’t ask me what was wrong and I was beyond glad about it. Once we was at the Vibe shoot I met with Diana she walked to me smiling ear to ear, she shook my hand and walked me over to hair and make-up…



“Okay so first you will get your hair and make-up done and then the photo shoot and you can take as many breaks as you want, we want you to be relaxed while here and after the shoot we will do the interview and Carrie Lewis will be doing the interview.. This is Lyn she’s your personal asst for today whatever you need just ask her and she’ll be happy to do it” Diana said and smiled



“Okay thank you” I said she walked away and EJ started doing my hair first then he got started on my make-up.



“How you feeling Lai?” Chris asked rubbing my stomach.



“I’m okay a little nervous but other than that I think I’m fine” I said

“Good that’s good I’m going to check on the girls in a few minutes” he said and my phone went off I took it out my purse and checked it.. I wasn’t ready to deal with August I was still mad at him for the way he was at my party but we texted anyway.


“Ugh” I said



“You okay whats wrong?” he asked



“Nothing just don’t wanna think bout nothing but what’s going on right now you know” I said Chris kissed my cheek and pointed to the room where the girls was.



“I’ll be back” he said walking away I was sitting there laughing with EJ and Lynn, I was done with my make-up and just got dressed for my first picture, when my phone went off it was facetime and I looked at it, it was August I was going to ignore it but I didn’t I answered it.

“Hey” I said



FT- Hey sorry to bother you but I wanted to see you and see there you do look beautiful” August said I smiled a little



“Thank you so what’s up?” I asked



FT- Nothing I wanna see if you’re free to hang out with me” August said



“I’m in New York” I said



FT- Yea I know I’ll be up that way tomorrow to do 106 &park and I wanna see yall if that’s okay” August asked


“Umm I don’t know what Chris has planned but look I gotta go okay” I said as Lynn helped me up.



FT- Okay I’ll call you tomorrow and see okay I got go bye” August said



“Bye” I said waving and ending the call.



“Alasia hey we are ready for you” Jason said taking my hand walking me to the middle of the floor, I was beyond nervous and I was about to cry. “Ready?”



“Umm no I can’t” I said walking away and EJ followed me but I got to the bathroom first and closed and locked the door. I was leaning on the door trying not to cry, when  heard a knock on the door.



“Lai it’s Chris baby open the door” he said I shook my head no. “Baby please just let me in ok” I waited a few minutes and I opened the door and he came in. “You okay”



“I can’t do it I wanna get my daughters and go home, I’m going to make a fool of myself out there, I look fat I’m ugly” I said he held my face to look at him.



You got this your beautiful, you’re not going to do nothing but be fucking amazing I will be right out there watching supporting you the whole time I promise” he said



“You won’t walk away” I said looking him in his eyes.



“I won’t I give you my word baby I got my phone ready to take my own picks of you” he said then kissed me. “Come on you look beautiful, relax have fun” he opened the door and we went out. “She’s ready first time nerves”



“I understand when you’re ready” Jason says and he walks me to a seat, and I sit down.



“Yea this baby is flipping around posing” I said everyone laughs as we start the photo shoot.





I couldn’t stop smiling at her and watching her she was doing her damn thing I know her dad would be so proud of her just seeing her making a name for herself and really doing it on her own with her talent. I pulled out my phone and was taking pictures, and posting them as she was changing from clothes to clothes shit I couldn’t be happier for her.

I know she’s nervous but it wasn’t showing in her pictures. After this was done she was allowed to change sit with me and girls have some lunch and get ready for the interview.