Hey Viria, sorry to bother you but this is something I really need to talk about with someone and your blog has always been a safe space to me. I'm turning 20 this year and I've never been in love, nor have I had a boyfriend/girlfriend before. I don't know, if I'm too picky or if my standards are to high, but I never felt something like a crush before. I don't know if it's normal but I really just want to feel having butterflies in my tummy. I don't know what to do or what is wrong with me.
there’s nothing wrong with you, please don’t think this way!
There are few things I can offer about this:
- don’t feel alone if the insecurity you feel is connected to the age, you aren’t alone, there are so many young people in their twenties who hasn’t been in relationship before. Even for me, even though I had minor school crushes, I only had one relationship and it wasn’t serious and I now know it wasn’t love. So for me it happened when I turned 22.
- it might be that you feel the red flags about people and haven’t met someone you connect to yet. I know a few people who are close to their 20s but haven’t had crushes before, it’s normal too, we all are different.
- movies always make us feel like we have to be in love to be complete, because EVERY teenager is in love in the movies. They show the morally high educated girls and say they always have to be in love to be good. Don’t be too pressured by the movies; they aren’t real life.
- as for butterflies: they aren’t always good. I mentioned minor crushes I had: I used to have all the knees buckling, heartbeating too fast, and I have to say that it wasn’t the healthiest. With as much as I had of physical stuff happening, I could never even talk to that person. So..not feeling the butterflies, but feeling warm and cosy and content and just, very secure, is what I think matters more. Deep connection matters more. Attraction is important too, of course, but the physical stuff fades over time, bonding stays.
- THE LAST BUT NOT LEAST. Try looking up aromantiсism, asexuality, demisexuality. I am not the most educated person with this; but there are people who don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction towards others. There are people who need to really spiritually and mentally bond with someone to start being attracted to them. You might be aromantic or asexual or demisexual!
Hope it helps at least a bit, remember you aren’t alone and there are always people who feel the way you do! You will have it all figured out soon, don’t worry<3
The day is April 23rd, 2017. It’s an ordinary Sunday afternoon in London.
The crowd bustles, trains whirr, birds chirp.
Life in the city is business as usual.
Three teenage girls take photographs outside 187 North Gower Street, soaking in the ambiance of the Sherlock set. They step into Speedy’s for a cup of coffee.
The women lament over the loss of their favorite show. On March 8th, the BBC announced Sherlock would not be returning for a fifth series, and cowriters Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss were quick to assure their fans that it was time to lay the beloved program to rest.
But what the women saw next changed their lives forever.
I tried, I truly and whole heartily did.
I spent hour after hour writing, rewriting, deleting, and editing hundreds of notes on my phone and thousands of papers with ink staining my skin where he should be.
As everything lays saturated and overflowing with feelings and words, I still cease to find or fit together these thoughts perfectly to help understand and explain what he does to me.
Hours turn to days, I still cannot find one piece of writing, one song, one line from my favorite book, that could ever do him justice.
He has plagued my mind, infected me with all that is good and pure, he is in my veins overriding all my doubts and fears and replacing them with the warmth of your smile
He has shown me things about myself I thought I had lost for good
He taught me to feel the things in both him and myself I never thought could exist outside of fairy tales.
The oceans will never have the waves required to swallow the mountains of love he unearthed from the depths of my soul.
There will never be a strong enough hurricane to drown the strength I’ve gained with him by my side.
The house I have slept and lived in for 15 years could never make me feel as at home as I do when he holds me close.
No matter how many police surround me, no matter how many knives my hands can hold, I will never feel as safe as I do when I find his hand on my knee, his thumb making circles as he drives slower than the speed limit.
With eyes on an empty road and car pointed towards the departure of a writer with her muse.
Yet, even with the view of mountains taunting me with the notion that too soon, I’ll be away from my happiest home
He removes his hand to turn up the music, allowing him to sing along to the music
As I watch him, at a loss of words, I am still reminded that no matter how far, he will ignite a fire in me that will burn hotter than a thousand stars
His eyes, those that which hold such a honey brown beauty that even Shakespeare himself is at a loss for words of how to describe their beauty
While I have never been one to look forward to the future, yet still, as I feel his lips on my forehead, I can see us clear as day in a year from now happier than thought possible.
There isn’t a single combination of words, out of all the quotes, poems and songs, not one can depict and properly show all that he is to me.
He is all that is anything in my life.
His mind is what holds my dreams, it holds the man who cannot be described with words
His hands hold all that I am with a kind of love that engulfs everything around it.
His mouth holds the key to my mind, his smile is a sight that can cause my breath to completely stop
His eyes contain all beauty in the world and with a simple look he makes me fall in love
He is my continuing happiness and strength, he is all my love and inspiration.
Words will never describe who he is to me because everything about my words, what they say, what they mean, how they came to form the way they did, are him.
No words can describe who he is to me, because he is all that my words are meant to be.
I’ve been sitting on some of these for a while from contemplating different fic ideas, so here ya go:
·Mylene is vegan, and Ivan’s diet is mostly meat. They never fight about it, surprisingly.
·Alix secretly really likes rom-coms, but if you
ever tell anyone, she’ll punch you
·Sometimes Kim makes Max sit on his back while he
does push-ups to increase his resistance
·Nathaniel sometimes doodles on himself and
designs tattoos when he gets bored
·Juleka loves horror movies, and Rose only puts up
with them because it gives her an excuse to hold Juleka’s hand when she gets
· Everyone lowkey wants to be Marinette’s parents when they grow up
· Nino is everyone’s big brother, and they come to
him with their problems, and he helps them sort through them.
·Sabrina and Chloe cosplay at a conventions, and their costumes are always super high-quality and accurate because
Chloe has them hand-crafted by top designers.
·Marinette brings people treats from the bakery
when it’s their birthday as well as a hand-made gift.
·One day, Nath and Alix are talking about some
anime, and Adrien gets really excited and blows them away with how many fan
theories he has, like seriously, how do you have time to come up with all of
·Marinette is obsessed with other people’s pets
because she could never have one because her they live in the bakery and they
can’t have an animal there, so she always cuddles other people’s pets way too
·Alix is a poor swimmer and has to wear floaties if
she wants to go in the deep end
·Mylene can’t swim at all
·Chloe can swim, but she doesn’t like to get wet
(it ruins her makeup and hair), so she just floats on a ridiculously over-sized
raft like the queen she is
·Alya is like super fit from chasing superheroes
around all the time to get footage for her blog
· Ivan gets really emotional when you show him
pictures of baby otters
·Despite being clumsy, Marinette’s a really good
·But not as good as Adrien, like that kid has
moves no one expected
·Chloe and Adrien are secretly/not-so-secretly
weeabo trash. They’ve seen every episode of Naruto, and most of their childhood
arguments were over what their ninja powers would be
· Mme. Bustier needs at least half a bottle of
wine after each school day to cope with her students all randomly turning into
supervillains every day.
you know the recent trend with celebrities reading what they think are celebrity mean tweets but they turn out to be from fans who are just joking (eg “oscar isaac is a brooklyn hipster piece of shit”)?
what if that happens to jack. he goes on jimmy kimmel and he agrees to read some mean tweets. the first one they hand him says “@omgcheckplease: jack zimmermann has the dumbest fucking blue eyes who told him this was acceptable”
What are your thoughts on private vs public adoption agencies? I've been looking for jobs and have been thinking about working in adoption. Private agencies pay better obviously lol
(This is going to be my LEAST popular post) When I first started actually looking into adoption I was looking at all the wrong places. I was looking at adoption agencies, mainly private ones. I was reading stores about how families that had adopted babies or children, how happy and wonderful their lives were to have children because they were infertile or just because they felt called to adopt. I had heard all these wonderful stories from adopted children, how much they loved their parents who adopted them and how grateful they were to have families. It seemed like the perfect, most pure and good thing to do was adopt, especially as a prolife person, some unwanted baby who had escaped the possibility of abortion by people like me who wanted that baby.
A couple years ago I was scrolling on Facebook in my favorite Facebook group, a Catholic Homeschooling group. It was such a good place to go for comfort and prayers, from the daily struggle of being a Catholic Mother and Wife. I felt the urge to pray for some of these women who I considered my friends, and I came across a photo of a beautiful newborn baby with beautiful black skin and thick black hair over his little head, laying in the hospital bed just so tiny. “PRAYER REQUEST” it read. The first few sentences was about the babies health problems, as he was a few weeks premature, but the writer assured us that he would make it, being the strong little guy he is. She gave us a little background, how badly she had been wanting this baby for so long, she had children herself, but had always felt called to adopt. “Over 30,000” she began to explain, she spent on adoption fees and hospital costs! On and on she went. Then came the real prayer request. The biological mother and father wanted to keep the baby. After all this money she spent, after months of preparing the nursery, “he’s already mine” she yelled into the screen and into the many hearts of mothers reading who gasped at the idea of someone tearing their infant from their arms! The post went on about the biological mother and father, who clearly were “unfit” do to their age and financial instability.
“They aren’t able to take care of the baby, the world doesn’t need more thugs and drug addicts, the baby is already yours I will pray immediately that the laws are in your favor have faith!!!” That was the general voice of the over 300 women in the comments. Every single one of them busted out their rosaries and prayed with their whole hearts that this baby would be delivered into the arms of the adopted mother who so clearly loved this baby more than the biological parents, after all, she was the one that paid the hospital fees, the adoption costs, “Tell her she will have to pay back all the fees! That will make her change her mind! She just wants to use the baby to live off the government!!!” More and more similar comments came in.
I sat down myself, saddened by the situation and started to pray. At first I also began to pray that the adopted mother would win the child, but something didn’t feel right.
At what point does someone have the right to take an infant from the arms of their mother? After they have paid 30,000 dollars? After they have had the lawyers for their private adoption agency protect the adopted mother by packet of papers with laws and signatures? After finding out that the biological mother was a poor scared young woman? Who deserves their own child then? By most those terms certainly not me.
For a while I thought this situation was rare. I thought generally most women who gave up their infants were happy, or even grateful their children were adopted by warm wealthy families. I was wrong.
I started researching birth mothers, I listened to their stories, their stories of immense regret, loss, pain that only a woman who’s infant was living but not in her arms could feel. As a mother myself, I can’t even fathom the pain. I mean that from the very moment I hold my child, the bond is something you simply cannot understand unless you are a mother yourself.
See, in government ran agencies there are no lawyers. The primary concern is the best interest of the child, which professionals, psychologists, even our Catholic theology all agree over and over the best interest of the child is it’s biological parents, second choice being other blood relatives. I won’t go into detail on this, you’re welcome to research yourself.
If it was up to me, private adoption agencies would be illegal. That’s right. Illegal. In order for their doors to stay open, they need to make money. Their best interest is NOT for the child, although they may tell themselves that they are doing God’s work by “rescuing” the infant from the arms of a poor teen mom and into the arms of wealthy infertile parents. The fact is, the concern is not for the infant, the mother, or anyone. It’s for the paying customer, and the financial gain for the doors to stay wide open. Most of them with the loving intention of saving babies from abortion, completing families with infertile parents. Women (birth mothers) come to these agencies scared out of their minds, they don’t want an abortion, and they honestly believe (thanks to society) that an unwed mother, a teen, a poor woman, is undeserving of her own child. They go to these agencies and are are coerced. Lawyers work for these companies and are paid big money to work on behalf of the adoption company and the client-the adoption parents. The birth mother has absolutely zero protection herself. These businesses profit by taking children from the wombs scared hopeless young birthmothers and into the arms of paying customers. There is no turning back, once the money is paid, the baby is no longer belongs to the birth mother. At this point she is reduced to as the prochoice people say “an incubator”. We can deny it all you want, but in this business, is she anything else?
Did you know that government agencies almost never have infants available up for adoption? Do you know why? Because they aren’t making any profit adopting children out. They are working for the best interest of the birth parents and the child. Mothers are directed to help, and get the help they need to keep their children, or a biological family member is able to care for the child, because that’s the best interest of the child. The mother is also legally able to have her child returned to her, as long as she is not an addict, or has ever been charged with child abuse. In private adoption, this is absolutely never an option, unless of course the lawyers didn’t cover the company and the adoption parents well enough.
Slowly I began to uncover the real face of most infant-relinquishing adoptions, children desperate to know who they really are, forbidden by laws or their adopted parents to find the mother and father that they were created by to be loved and cared for them. Forbidden to have relationships with their birth parents. Then you see the birth mothers, who morn the loss of their child who’s still alive for the rest of their lives, shamed, guilty, hopeless. Look up their blogs. Read their stories, face their pain.
The worst part is, because this has a lot to do with religious, particularly Christian and prolife groups, we turn our cheeks and close our eyes to the pain. We tell ourselves that it isn’t our problem and we’ve done our part. I don’t believe that, and I’ll stand on whatever side against what is the best interest of both the mother/father and the child. I’ll never choose one or the other. And never on the side of profit, especially profit off human beings.
There was a story my priest told me about the importance in our Catholic faith about the relationship between a mother and child, being as were Catholics and we don’t dismiss the importance of Mary in the life of Christ like other Christians might. He said in Yakima there were many Latino immigrants who were there illegally, and were being deported. The problem is, the children they had, one in particular only days old, were legal citizens of the United States. In situations like this the children are actually forced to remain in the Untied States as citizens. The Bishop of Yakima, stepped in, firmly planted in the truth that a child should never be separated for a mother. The children were then able to be processed, released, and returned to the parents.
If we look at Mother Mary, a teen, unmarried (betrothed, but unmarried), she would probably be deemed an “unfit” mother by our society. We gasp in horror when prochoice people say heinous things about Mary aborting Christ, but we would support Christ being raised by any other woman than the Mother of Christ?
Why are we okay with signs at clinics where scared women go to have abortions that read, “don’t kill your baby we want it!” Why are we so obsessed with “choose adoption!!!”
Where is the rally for the “alternative” true and holy nature of keeping a mother with her children? Why is adoption seen as the solution to abortion? There are programs in place to help these women, in our country how is it possible that a woman is so scared she feels the need to abort or give away for her child? How is this still a normal mentality? Because both prolife and prochoice people feed the fear. Neither of us apparently has any faith or respect for the nature of human beings. We have those who are prochoice who stand solely on the side of the mother, and those who are prolife who stand solely on the side of the baby, but who protects the family? Isn’t that the divine nature, the most important structure of our entire society? Unfortunately even pregnancy crisis centers are required to educate mothers who have already chosen to keep and raise their baby, on the topic of adoption and how much better it is for their baby, before giving any sort of services.
So, is there a need for adoption? Yes there is. There is a need for adoption because although God has designed us to be raised by our mother and father there are still evil and sin in this world. Sin that abuses children, causes parents to become sick with addictions, and creating broken family and children who have not a single blood family member to turn too. This is where the need is, not in the wombs of scared women or young mothers.
Now, we can tell ourselves, as prolife or proadoption people, that “we’ve never done that!!” Or “I’ve never strictly advocated for a woman to adopt without pointing her to help as well!” But honestly that isn’t good enough to wash our hands free of guilt. If we aren’t actively seeking and speaking out about stuff like this, we feed the same mentality that feeds abortion. That an unwed, poor, scared, mother is unworthy of her own child. I see hundreds of prolife people state that “we need less adoption laws to make adoption easier!!” Easier for who? Adopted parents? Through the state adoption IS easy, for parents who are qualified based on the best interest for the child. It’s also little to no COST. Yep. You heard that right. What’s easier than that?
Since I’m not a birth parent, I would like if we could all actually read what the birth parents have to say about adoption.
Here’s a pamphlet created by birth parents on how adoption has affected them. In order for a woman to properly and willfully choose adoption as a choice for her, she needs to know these facts, she needs to hear the good and the bad in order to make an informed decision. I beg all people especially prolife people, to read the pamphlet and inform yourselves please! If we want to really protect woman and children we need to protect the family!
Zach Dempsey x Reader Request: No. Word Count: 820 A/N:This is my very first imagine! I’m excited to share it with you all, I’ve always been interested in writing and now I can finally show you guys what I’ve got. Again this is my first, so I apologize if it’s not very well written or if there are any spelling errors. Requests are now open, I will be doing imagines, ships, etc… I hope you guys enjoy! :) Also an additional side note, this has become my main 13 Reasons Why blog now! So if you happen to follow @ans-dempsey and look forward to more imagines, I will be posting them all on here! Also it’s Friday so I might have a few more up today. :) Warnings: Slight mention of self-harm. Italics = you, Bold = Zach
You had stayed up late tossing and turning. Throughout the week, your family has really been pushing you to get your grades up. You weren’t usually like this, you were a straight A student, but your insecurities were really starting to get to you. Recently you had gotten out of hand, more drinking, going out, and it had even gotten to the point of self-harm. You knew Zach would become furious with you if he were to ever find out, but you needed something–an escape. Everything was just going downhill for you and you were beyond frustrated. Despite the choices you’ve made to handle the ugly from the week if it wasn’t for your boyfriend Zach, you don’t know exactly where you’d be right now
Rumours About Rumours, or: The Kent Parson Meta That Nobody Asked For
well-documented by this point, I’m a hopeless fan of @omgcheckplease, to the point where a
gay hockey comic has turned me into an actual fan of ice hockey,
dear god, I’ve become invested in a sport that’s barely even fucking played in
my country, what is this even?? Naturally,
this means I follow a few CP-heavy blogs on tumblr, and recently I’ve noticed a
few people expressing confusion about why so many people like Kent Parson,
given the fact that, canonically, his big introduction involves him being goddamn
awful to Jack.
Now: straight off the bat – and I’m saying this, obviously, as
someone who finds Kent Parson a fascinating character – I want to acknowledge
that fandom, as a general entity, is heavily biased towards white guys. It’s
one of those raindrop-in-a-storm problems where, at an individual level,
everyone is entitled to their own personal preferences (always bearing in mind
that said preferences can be influenced, either consciously or unconsciously,
by cultural bias), but where the cumulative, collective effect of those choices
amplifies the effects of cultural bias. It would therefore be disingenuous to deny
that, whatever my thoughts on or interest in Kent as a character, there’s still
a collective issue with how much more attention he often receives than more
canonically prominent – and non-assholish – POC characters like Ransom,
Chowder, Nursey and Lardo.
(Sidenote: as part of various race-oriented meta about CP, I’ve
seen it pointed out that, in fanworks, the POC characters are most often romantically
paired with white characters rather than other POC, and that this is a worthy
point of investigation and criticism. I agree on both counts, but also feel
that, in this specific instance, it’s important to note that, in canon, all the
POC characters are primarily – either romantically or platonically – paired
with another white character, and that these pairings dominate their
appearances in the strip. (Ransom and Holster, Chowder and Farmer (or Chowder
and Bitty, platonically), Nursey and Dex, Lardo and Shitty.) So while that
doesn’t excuse the comparative lack of creative licence taken in moving beyond
those pairings, as is common fanwriting practice, it does explain their
existence as a non-trivial narrative baseline. ANYWAY.)
As to why Kent himself is interesting - well. There are, I
think, two main reasons for this:
1: He’s Jack’s most significant ex; and
2: He’s presented as an antagonist.
If only the latter point was true, then I’d be much less
inclined to invest in him emotionally. What matters is the fact that, despite
all the wonderful shipping opportunities afforded by CP, Kent is one of only
three (thus far) canonically queer characters – and not only that, he has an
existing, complicated backstory with Jack, which therefore connects him
emotionally to both Jack and Bitty. Any canon-compliant take on Jack’s romantic
history must therefore feature Kent, and with that particular speculative door
cracked open, it’s natural to wonder about Kent’s version of events.
Which is where my personal
interest in Kent comes in. Because Jack Zimmermann, despite being our noble
hockey hero and the protagonist’s love interest, is, by his own admission, an
unreliable narrator of his own emotions. And as Jack’s narration is the only
insight we get into his and Kent’s relationships, it’s not unreasonable to
wonder what we’re missing out on – to say nothing of the possibility that Jack,
historically, might not have been great for Kent.
What I think selfish autism moms are really saying when they’re lamenting their child’s autism...
Note: This is about autism moms who see nothing good about autism and never listen to autistic people. They’re usually the mothers of nonverbal autistic people who need lots of daily help and can’t make their communications understood.
These types of moms always, always, always have really selfish reasons for saying what they say. I pulled the ones I see or hear the most, there are probably tons more. There’s a pattern to it– it’s not lamenting for the child’s sake, they’re lamenting experiences they will never have because of their child’s autism.
Moms, this is probably what your autistic child really hears when you talk like this where they can hear you. It’s what they might feel if they ever ran into your blogs and saw or heard this.
“I’ll never hear my child say ‘I love you’.” (”My child’s love doesn’t count unless they can tell me they love me like a normal child, and I resent them because I will never experience that.”)
“My child will never go to college.” (”I resent my child because I won’t get to brag to my friends about my kid going to Harvard, and I won’t get to sit and watch them graduate.”)
“My child will never get married.” (”I’ll never get to stand at my child’s wedding, give them away or display their wedding pictures on my wall, and I really resent that.”)
“My child will never have children of their own.” (”I resent my child because I’ll never get the grandchildren I expected!”)
(sarcasm) Never mind what the kid wants to experience for themselves, it’s all about the moms, riiiiiight? (/sarcasm)
It’s understandable to be sad and grieve because the future is suddenly not as clear as it was before. But don’t let your grief turn into resentment and assume your child has no future. That’s a huge disservice to them AND to yourself.
Hey there! So, I just wanted to say that I really like your writing style and ask you if you could write some fluff with Prefall!Reyes x Reader, where they've been watching a horror movie and now the s/o is scared and has problems falling asleep and Gabe helps them? Thank you ♡ love your blog
((A/N - i like that you like my blog. c:))
“Don’t turn off the lights.”
“I have to. We’re going to bed, cariño.”
You gripped onto your boyfriend’s toned arm, looking around the bedroom before stepping over the threshold. You hurried ahead, throwing open the wardrobe doors and rummaging through your clothes.
“Now you’re just being silly.”
“I have to check, Gabriel. What if there’s a murderer hiding?”
“I mean, I’m technically a murderer.”
You stopped flinging shoes out of the closet and spun on your heels to look at him.
“Don’t say that..”
Gabe laughed, pulling his black shirt off over his head and throwing it on the ground.
“It was a joke.”
“It’s not. What if you are the murderer?”
You stood up fully, pointing an accusational finger at the commander. He edged towards you, a wolfish grin on his face.
“What would you do?”
His eyebrow raised, arms outstretched to grab you. You jumped onto the bed and scrambled to the other side.
“Gabe. Don’t. Not after we’ve just watched that movie.”
He put his hands on the bed, and one knee up as though to follow you across. You backed up, heart pounding. Any other night and this would be erotic, but tonight? No.
“Ay, mi amor. You trust me?”
“Not when you’re like this. Even you saying it as a question makes it sound as though you’re doubting yourself.”
Your back hit the wall, eyes darting to the open door hoping to make a dash. Gabe leant back so was standing fully and arms crossed against his muscled chest.
“I dare you.”
He raised his eyebrows and nodded in the direction of the door.
“I don’t want to do-”
He lunged for you again, making you squeak and sprint towards the door. He grabbed out and managed to catch your wrist, pulling you into his arms. You both fell back onto the bed, you encased in his arms.
A deep chuckle rumbled from your boyfriend’s chest.
“I would never hurt you.”
Kisses peppered the crown of your head, large hands rubbing up and down your back. You settled into his embrace, nuzzling your head into his bare chest.
“Promise?” Your vouce was muffled.
His nails drifted lightly down your back, making you shiver. You smiled to yourself, adjusting you arms so you could cuddle him properly.
“Besides, do you think a murderer would really be able to get past me?”
You snorted at Gabe’s cockiness.
“No, honey. They couldn’t.”
He gave you a squeeze, the feeling of his arms around you making you feel safe and protected.
“Go to sleep.”
“I can’t breathe.”
Another chuckle erupted from his chest, your eyes drifting shut.
“But what if there really is a murderer outside?” You shot up suddenly, making your boyfriend flinch.
“I’ll protect you.”
“So you’re saying there is someone out there?”
“What? No. I-”
He pulled you back into his chest, hand holding your head down. You felt him place a kiss on your forehead.
“I won’t sleep until you’re asleep. Okay?”
You nodded as much as your boyfriend’s grasp would allow. A heavy sigh left your lips, cuddling into Gabe’s arms, finally relaxing.
We passed 2500 posts recently. A lot of work has gone into writing this blog, and I think some good has come of it. Some of you have been helped or comforted. Some of you have learned. And some have been merely entertained but I think it has all been worthwhile. Thank you for joining me.
I’m not taking the day seriously. I’m having a break. I’ve turned the asks off for a day. Enjoy the queue, I’ll see you at the other end.
Prompt: #47: “How am I supposed to do anything when you’re looking at me like that”
Warnings: None, just kissing and angst. My usual MO.
A/N: Okay so I know this has primarily been a Percivan Graves content blog for a while now, but I couldn’t resist. And I had a lot of encouragement so thank you xD I hope this turned out alright…he’s a difficult character to capture but I really, really loved writing this! Let me know what you think!
I heard footsteps coming up the ramp and turned to look over my shoulder. I smiled as Cassian poked his head around the corner. I should’ve expected him to turn up at some point. He seemed to know me better than I knew myself. I’d gone to the ship in an attempt to be alone, to gather my thoughts before tomorrow. Sleep was evading me, the way it always did before a big battle. Only this time it was different. I had a feeling about this particular battle, though it was a feeling I didn’t want to dwell on for too long. Cassian was about the only person I wanted to see right now anyways.
“Shouldn’t you be resting, Captain?” I asked, going back to cleaning my gun.
a quick admin note! because i’m honestly sick of getting messages doing any of the following: wishing death on the members, making ableist and racist comments about all of the members, calling the members predatory (specifically jonghyun), making up bullshit rumors about the group, sending creepy comments about well known shawols within fandom, calling me a bitch and / or other gendered slurs, etc. i’m going to be turning off anon again for awhile.
i know that i haven’t been the only one getting nasty anons lately. @fytaem recently made a post about death threats / death wishes they’d been getting regarding the group, and i know of a lot of personal fandom blogs that have been getting them as well. it seems like they’ve been getting worse due to the north american concerts closing in. i hope whoever is sending them realizes what they’re sending in is wrong (though i doubt they will) and that fans won’t stand for that sort nastiness being directed at any of the members. it’s bad timing all around to turn anon off but my inbox will still be open for anyone who has any off-anon questions.
I was tired. Tired of everything and everyone. I just wanted to be alone but Jungkook kept calling me. I knew he wanted to talk but I just didn’t want to here what he has to say.
I hid behind the portables, hoping he wouldn’t find me. I knew I was wrong when I heard his footsteps approach.
“Y/N please..” he says and I turn my head away. He kneels beside me in the damp grass, waiting for me to say something.
“Just leave me alone..” I whisper.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“JUST GO!” I scream.
“Make me!” He says planting his body on the ground and I roll my eyes. I can’t believe I just confessed to someone so childish.
He sighs. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I was just shocked that’s all.”
“Well it wasn’t the good kind of shocked,” I mutter.
“Listen. I love you. But not in the way you love me. But I can’t lose you Y/N, you’re my best friend.” He says putting his hand on my knee.
“I don’t know how I can be around you though. I ruined everything. We can never go back-”
“Don’t say that. We still have our movie Fridays and no one else is tutoring you in bio but me. I’m sorry if it’s difficult being around me so I won’t force you. I can’t promise you that my feelings will change in the future but I can promise you that we’ll be friends forever.”
I look up at him and see in his eyes he’s being sincere.
WOAH I KNOW SUPER SHORT. PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME! Check out our prompts and send some requests.
Trying my best to turn this into a habit :) This post is to just let ya’ll know what I’ve been working on this past week/what I’m currently working on, in case people are curious or if I’ve been/I go quiet for a while.
* The File Not Found part 3 update is almost ready! It’s longer than I expected it to be (I think it’s 9 pages) and I’m finishing up the visuals on the last few pages. After that it’s just adding any dialogue and then posting it! I’d like to have it up sometime this week.
* After FNF updates, I want to post the first part of Hello World, before starting on Chapter 3. So we’re almost there!
* Speaking of, I’ve got the cover of Chapter 3 sketched out, along with the first few pages of the new chapter. I’ll probably stream working on the chapter cover this week.
* Lastly, and kind of on a side-ish note, I’m going to Awesome Con in Washington D.C. with a few of my friends mid-June! I’ve got a cute little picture idea I’ve had in mind to announce any cons I’m going to so I want to work on that as well. I also had the idea of maybe making some buttons to give out in case I ran into anyone who’s into FE at the convention, but we’ll see if there’s enough time for that.
I think those are the most pressing things! I hope everyone has a nice week <3
Who would you say is the most iconic/important director (obvs female) and why?
This is such an interesting question. What is iconic, what counts as important? To me it would be someone who’s shown longevity in their career, someone who is critically well-regarded but has also had some measure of commercial success, someone with a distinct visual style and someone who has been influential to other filmmakers.
Off the top of my head I can think of maybe 10 women who would easily deserve that title.
If someone put a theoretical gun to my head right now and made me pick one I’d probably say Jane Campion. People maybe not have watched her movies but they usually know her name or if you mention The Piano they’ve heard of it even if they haven’t seen it. People also think she was the first woman to be nominated for Best Director at the Oscars (she wasn’t, it was Lina Wertmüller a woman with a distinctive incredible style who is one of my favourite filmmakers but one whose work has faded into obscurity). The Women and Hollywood blog does mini-interviews with every female director at every major festival and one of the questions they ask everyone is what their favourite film directed by a woman is and films by Campion routinely turn up (she’s probably one of the most cited directors).
However even though she’s young and I still think has a long career ahead of her, I feel Sofia Coppola coming up fast. Coppola is another one of those few female film directors you can mention that everyone knows. Her earliest films are almost at their 20 year anniversaries and they have endured and are remembered. She’s won a slew of awards, her style is distinct to the point where it can be parodied. People like to mock her for her tumblrcore style but her movies predate tumblr by nearly a decade. Also as someone who watches a lot of no/low budget movies just because they’re directed by women her style is imitated a LOT. I admit that I used to take her talent for granted, but after watching the umpteenth movie about a teenage white girl having existential ennui while staring out a window I started appreciating Coppola as a filmmaker. She knows what she’s doing in a way people trying to imitate her just don’t.
Bigelow is another one I feel strongly about. I think she is super under appreciated as a filmmaker, even with the Oscar. I spent a few years watching all of her films and she’s so distinct, even her action movies are carefully crafted. The only thing with Bigelow is that despite her age she peaked rather late (after Coppola despite being twenty years older) and I still feel like her best work is ahead of her so it’s hard to say what her longevity as a filmmaker and her influence will be. Point Break and Strange Days have held up well, but I also want to know what the legacy of her late career work will be.
Of course, women didn’t just start directing in the 90s. There are many women who directed before then who put out iconic movies that are well regarded, but these women aren’t known at all to mainstream audiences, even if they are beloved by cinephiles. Alice Guy Blaché was the first woman to direct narrative films, but few people outside of film students want to watch shorts that are over a century old. Leni Reifenstahl pioneered several film techniques but her legacy is tainted by her associated with Hitler and the fact that her most innovative films are literal Nazi propaganda. Agnès Varda has a career that spans over 60 years, but until recently people didn’t take her seriously as a filmmaker and most of her films were unavailable outside of France. Chantal Akerman is a legend and so many filmmakers were inspired by her and borrowed from her, but her movies made little money, were not widely seen and are not well known to mainstream audiences.
And of course it wouldn’t be right to mention how many women of colour had their careers completely decimated literally for just being who they were and wanting to tell stories about people who looked like them. If there aren’t women of colour who fit my criteria of iconic/important it’s because they were never able to build up the body of work to be so. White women in western countries don’t necessarily have it easy (even someone as privileged as Coppola has faced rampant sexism, including accusations that she doesn’t direct her own films), but they do have more opportunities than other women.
Recently their has been a small resurgence of the work of black American female filmmakers getting released or re-released. I finally got to watch the work of Kathleen Collins and Julie Dash and you know what? These women had genuine talent, they were truly gifted, and they were never given the opportunities to create more than one feature film. That’s why I try to stress to people that it’s important to go to the theatre and buy tickets for movies made by women, especially women of colour, and to appreciate them in the now. Because if you don’t support them they won’t be able to make more films and not everyone hits it out of the park their first time. Bigelow won an Oscar for her 8th film. So many women directors don’t even get to make a second.
sorry this blog has been inactive for so long. the main admin left as did the other person running this blog. im the only one left on here and i didnt really wanna carry on running it so i abandoned it.
but! in light of BPD discourse i want to pick this blog back up again. with one major difference.
there won’t be any more ~quirky memes~ that portray abusive behaviour in a positive way. splitting on your fp and making them feel awful? thats not cool. verbally abusing people and then saying its acceptable because you have bpd? also a shitty thing to do.
the tumblr bpd community has a tendency to excuse shitty behaviors, demonise people who have other personality disorders (namely npd and aspd), and make kids browsing the bpd tag to think its okay to be horrible to someone just because they didnt reply to your message (”its not my fault im literally abusing you for something you cant help! i have bpd!”)
this blog has 10k+ followers, and i wanna turn it into a bpd positive blog that makes memes about healthy coping mechanisms and posts about how to help yourself instead of taking it out on your fp. because thats what the tag should be full of- not memes making light of poor behavior, self-help posts and ways to cope with bad feelings.
would that be something you guys are interested in?